Original subtitles

¶¶

[General Lunaris] Mighty Moonlanders!

You who were betrayed

by our so-called "friend" Della Duck

from the foul and pathetic Earth!

-[booing] -I have distaste for the Earth!

Now we have captured a cunning Earth spy,

who has confirmed our greatest fears--

-the Earthers' plan to invade! -[Moonlanders gasp]

Behold, the most dangerous threat we've ever faced--

the brother of the traitor Della Duck!

Della? Where?!

Hey! What's the big idea?!

[Palus] What did he say?!

He said... "Death to the Moon!"

[loud gasp]

-This, my fellow warriors... -[angry quacking]

...is why we must strike first!

For we are the mighty!

We are the Moon!

[chanting] We are the Moon! We are the Moon!

We are the Moon! We are the Moon!

[Lunaris] Please!

This victory belongs to the champion of the Moon,

Lieutenant Penumbra.

She discovered the Earthers' plan to invade us,

which is why I'm promoting her to captain.

[cheering]

But, sir, that's a lie.

They don't know that.

Listen.

[Moonlanders chanting] Penumbra! Penumbra!

You're a hero again.

Isn't that what you wanted?

Penumbra! Penumbra! Penumbra!

¶ Life is like a hurricane ¶

¶ Here in Duckburg ¶

¶ Race cars, lasers, airplanes ¶

¶ It's a duck-blur ¶

¶ We might solve a mystery ¶

¶ Or rewrite history ¶

¶ Ducktales, whoo-ooh ¶

¶ Every day they're out there making Ducktales ¶

¶ Whoo-ooh ¶

¶ Tales of derring-do ¶

¶ Bad and good-luck tales ¶

¶ Whoo-ooh ¶

¶ D-d-danger lurks behind you ¶

¶ There's a stranger out to find you ¶

¶ What to do? ¶

¶ Just grab on to some Ducktales ¶

¶ Whoo-ooh ¶

¶ Every day they're out there ¶

¶ Making Ducktales ¶

¶ Whoo-ooh ¶

¶ Tales of daring bad and good ¶

¶ Not phony tales or cottontails ¶

-¶ No, Ducktales! ¶ -¶ Whoo-ooh! ¶

[birds chirping]

-[bang] -I've uncovered a conspiracy!

Photographic evidence proves that there is a fourth triplet.

A "quatriplet," if you will.

We must find Phooey Duck!

By the way, I named him Phooey!

Uh, that fourth egg is a mustard stain.

But who was eating a sandwich while looking at a photo album?!

[gasp] Phooey strikes again!

Who's ready for the greatest family secret of all time?!

I was going through the family tree

when I realized the branches correspond

to geographical points on a map.

This could lead to the Silver Sporran Clan McDuck!

Found it years ago, thank you!

Hold on. I can pull a mystery out of this.

Mustard stain. Mustard is in the fridge.

Family tree. What grows on trees?

Peppers, I assume.

But Beakley hasn't bought peppers in years!

[gasp] Ghost peppers!

It's all connected!

Let's go!

Hang on.

An adventure has to call to you.

You cannae just go around making up mysteries.

We spent so much time

on the mystery of the Spear of Selene.

Now that Della's back,

we're hungry for a new, epically complex,

multi-part family mystery to solve!

Huh. My postcard to Uncle Donald was returned.

That's weird.

[both gasp]

You hear that, Webby?

It's the call to adventure!

[slam]

[Scrooge groans]

[ominous music]

Oof!

[bars rattling]

Oh! [muttering]

[reading]

Aw! [angry muttering]

[straining]

Oof!

Oof!

[dizzy quacks]

-[birds tweeting] -[woozy groans]

[Lunaris] Our fleet of ships is proceeding according to plan.

As predicted, the people's spirits

have been raised by the capture

of the traitor Della's brother.

The soldiers are training

twice as hard for our invasion.

Permission to speak freely, sir.

Do you really think our people are ready for war?

-They've never seen combat. -[poster rustling]

We know next to nothing about Earth,

apart from Della's dumb stories.

[chuckles] Believe in the superior might of the Moon, Captain.

We are the mighty.

We are the Moon.

-[angry grunt] -[poster slaps wall]

[humming nonchalantly]

If this prison cell is so comfortable,

perhaps time in the gold mines

will break your devil-may-care spirit!

Captain Penumbra, take care of it.

[panting]

[Donald shouts]

Oof!

[straining]

[muttering]

-[Donald grunts] -[blanket flutters]

-[furious quacks] -Stop! I'm Della's,

ooh, "friend."

It was really more of an unlikely roommate situation.

The point is, neither of us wants this invasion.

Your stupid family built the rocket.

If I give you access to the blueprints,

can you find a weakness and destroy our ships?

I'll take that neck spasm as an Earth "yes."

Let's go.

Uh, hello?

[mysterious piano theme]

Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.

You asked me to come here.

We know what we asked!

Oh, I see. You guys are doing good cop, bad cop.

We're both the bad cop.

I prefer to be called Dew-tective.

[noir detective theme plays]

Hey, bub! This look familiar?!

That's the postcard I sent to Uncle Donald.

It was returned.

Uncle Donald loves sending cheesy vacation postcards.

It's the only reason he goes anywhere.

Not only haven't we received any cards from him on his vacation,

but now the ones we sent him are returned.

Almost as if he's

-gone missing?! -Aah!

Why are you yelling at me?!

Chin up, kid.

We'll find out what happened to the postcard...

and your uncle.

He's your uncle, too. He's on a cruise.

It's hard to get mail to a boat. Mystery solved.

We'll be the judge of that.

We're on the case.

What case?!

Lunaris keeps the ships' blueprints under guard

in his private hanger.

We'll have to make sure we're not caught by--

-[Zenith] Captain Penumbra! -[gasp]

Aah! Captain,

why is our most dangerous prisoner

out of his cell, without handcuffs?!

-[blaster rattles] -Nope. Nope.

Honey, remember you have to unclip the holster.

And I'm sure the captain has a good reason.

Yes. I'm... punching him.

What better way to train to fight Earthers

than to spar with one, huh?

Oh! Ohh!

[Penumbra] Now you try.

-Unh! -He's quite soft.

Almost pleasurable to hit.

Oof!

I no longer fear him!

-[groaning] -Ha ha!

Inflicting pain is fun!

Ha ha! [whispers] Sorry.

Ohh!

[alarm sounding]

[alarm stops]

Hold, Captain!

The base's perimeter has been breached.

Aah! It may be another spy!

This is your moment, Gibbous.

[relieved sigh]

[moaning]

Take the tunnels, avoid the soldiers' barracks,

and find the hanger!

I'll meet you there.

[ominous music]

To find out where the returned postcard has been,

we must get inside the head of the postcard.

You mean like the head of the guy on the stamp?

Ha! My dear Webbigail, don't be naive.

We're gonna ship ourselves to the address the postcard was sent to,

find out what went wrong there, find Uncle Donald,

and solve the most epic mystery since the Spear of Selene!

-Whoo! -Whoo-hoo!

[Webby gasps] Shh shh shh!

[whispering] She's right there.

[Dewey] She doesn't suspect a thing.

[both giggling]

Did you forget to tape the bottom of the box?

Yet another mystery we must solve.

But first--

What did you do to Donald Duck?!

Um, nothing.

Wait, wait, Donald Duck lives here?

He never forwarded his address from the pier.

I got a ton of his mail.

Yes! Possible clues!

Bill, bill, another bill.

Man, being an adult is not fun.

These are all from the same address.

[gasp] How mysterious.

Not for long!

"Your life is a non-stop deluge of pain.

If you want it to stop, pay up - Jones."

Is your Uncle Donald being blackmailed?!

He's not missing! He's on the run!

We've gotta save him

before he's stuck in a tight spot

he can't get out of!

[straining] Oh!

[Palus, over loudspeaker] Attention, all guards.

The perimeter breach was not an Earth spy.

Merely a random beast trapped in the vents.

Thank you for your diligence!

[ominous music]

[shrieks]

-Huh?! -[thunk]

[grunting]

-[heavy footsteps] -[ominous music crescendos]

Yaah aah!

[muffled exclamations]

Why... Aah!

Waaaaaak!

Oof!

[snoring]

[soldiers snoring]

[gulp]

[alarmed quack]

This should be 9 Elm Street, not 93 Elm Street.

-Oooh, seedy! -Aah!

Uncle Donald must be hiding from this Jones guy that lives here.

-[car door slams] -[both gasp]

Here's the plan. I'll use my spy skills

to find more info on Uncle Donald

while you distract Jones at the front door pretending to be--

Alexa Pretzelkoff,

a volunteer collecting signatures

to stop a greedy developer from shutting down the summer camp,

while also looking for the missing half of this locket!

Uh, I already stole Huey's Junior Woodchuck outfit.

Maybe this time you could just pretend to sell cookies?

Fine. But if that summer camp shuts down, it's on you.

[singing spy theme] ¶ Dew Dew Dew-dew-dew Dew ¶

Wait, wait, wait, don't wanna blow my cover.

¶ Not Dewey Dew ¶

¶ De-Dew-dew-dit Dew ¶

¶ Not not Dew not ¶

¶ I'm definitely not Dewey Dew-dew-dew ¶

[keys jingling, lock clicking]

[knock on door]

Hi, I'm a humble Junior Woodchuck selling cookies

to stop a greedy developer from ruining everyone's summer.

-It's the only thing that can distract me... -[groans]

...from my quest for the other half of this locket!

[gasp]

[straining]

[soldiers snoring]

Uh!

[snorting]

Whew.

[grunts]

[soldier grumbling]

[angry muttering]

[lullaby playing]

Ah! [snoring]

Whew.

[laughing]

[lullaby playing]

-[slap] -[creature squeals]

[lullaby playing]

[lullaby playing]

[grumbling]

[kiss]

Ohh! [snoring]

[Donald screams]

-[Donald shouting] -[soldier] Hey!

[spears clang]

Aw, phooey.

[muffled exclamations]

[soldiers grunting]

-[clang] -Ooh!

[soldiers groaning]

[angry shouting]

Oh, no!

[frantic quacking]

Hup! Hup! Whoa! Oh!

[soldier growls]

Aah!

What are you doing in... here?

[birds tweeting]

[soldier groans]

Hm. Perhaps you're not so puny after all.

[shouting]

[relieved sighs]

-C'mon! -Ah!

This is Lunaris' private hanger.

The Spear blueprints are around here somewhere.

Help me look for them.

But don't touch anything.

Lunaris will know.

Huh? Ohh.

Whoa!

Great job, dummy!

Now he'll know we found his secret war room!

Wait, secret war room?!

[beeping]

Huh?!

[keyboard beeping]

He's been planning this since before Della got here!

He's already identified anyone who could threaten his invasion.

[Donald gasping]

What?!

[machinery starting]

[female computer voice] Danger! Danger!

What is that thing?

[Penumbra] No living thing could survive that.

This must be why he needed Della's Spear!

Now that he has the plans,

he can start the invasion as soon as his fleet's finished.

Aah! [stammering] Aah!

Never sneak up on a kid detective-slash-spy like that!

I could have injured-slash-killed you.

Yeah, I-- I know. Where's Jones?

I've got him searching his drawers for half of a missing locket!

Yeah, my backstory was that good.

Whoa! This file has dates, locations, and names

-of every bad thing that's ever happened to Donald. -[door creaks open]

Every setback and problem in Uncle Donald's life.

Has Jones caused it all?

"Uncle Donald"?

You're part of this, too!

And I know just who to call to take care of it.

We have to stop Lunaris.

This invasion is worse than I feared.

In recent years, Duckburg has been menaced

by its share of dark forces...

A transmission from Earth?

Get to the highest point.

There!

Once you have a signal, use the transmitter

-to warn your-- -[zap]

[groaning]

Huh?

[alarm beeping]

Uh...

I believe the words you're looking for are, "Aw, phooey."

You won't be sending any warning.

Oh, and Captain Penumbra's little rebellion

is over before it began,

thanks to this.

A pity. But great victory comes with sacrifice.

Oh! Unh!

A few brave soldiers get hurt,

but it's worth it for the glory of the planet Moon.

-The moon is not a-- -It is a planet!

More of a planet than your Earth will be

once I'm done with it!

[frantic quacking]

Aw. Unh!

[Donald quacking]

[mutters]

[laughing]

Admiring my handiwork, Donald Duck?!

You see, most foes would target Scrooge McDuck.

They don't realize the key to victory

is to take the children out first

to break your spirits.

Say goodbye to your precious Hubert, Dewford, and Llewelyn.

[growling]

[doorknob rattling]

[both straining]

Who is Jones working for?

The Beagle Boys? F.O.W.L.?

[gasp] Oh, I bet it's those greedy land developers

trying to ruin everyone's summer!

-[door opens] -[gasp]

[footsteps]

[both gasp]

Uncle Scrooge?! You're in on it, too?!

Give Alexa back her locket, old man!

Old man!?

Now you owe Mr. Jones and me an apology!

Not until Jones explains why he's been blackmailing Uncle Donald

and ruining his life!

Jones isn't Donald's enemy!

He's Donald's anger management counselor.

Each of these dates corresponds to a hard time in Donald's life.

To cope, he came here to vent his frustration.

-[boing] -[fabric tears]

But what about this threatening letter?

"Donald, your life is a nonstop deluge of pain.

If you want it to stop, pay up - Jones."

It's attached to a bill.

Anger management's not free!

No. If Uncle Donald was seeing you

then why is he still the angriest guy we know?

Yeah, what have you done to help?

I found the source of his anger.

Donald's anger issues stem from a fear

that the world is out to get him

and that no one understands him,

quite literally.

His tendency to lash out was wildly unfocused,

until you kids came along.

He came to me wanting to be

-the best parent he could. -[knuckles crack]

So we channeled that anger into protective instincts.

Every outburst is Donald

-wanting to protect his family. -[steam whistle]

He loves you so much,

the thought of anything bad happening to you

infuriates him!

[furious quacking]

[Lunaris grunting and groaning]

Yaah!

Whoa!

Huh!

[phone dialing]

Scrooge! Kids!

The invasion! It's in a month!

I'm coming home soon!

Ow!

[buzzing]

Oh!

[panting]

Oh! Whoa! Oh!

Oh! Bbbbbbb!

Huh?

[warning buzzer]

[cannon fires]

-[wind whistling] -[communicator buzzes]

[Zenith] Sir, should we give chase?

No. No living thing could survived that.

[The Blue Danube Waltz playing]

[babbling]

[waltz continuing]

[groaning]

[metal creaking]

[quacking]

[quacking] Oh, boy!

[angry utterance]

[waltz continuing]

There goes the bravest man on two worlds.

If you want someone to pay Donald's bills,

you can speak to that invoice-avoiding ingrate yourself!

You were right, Uncle Scrooge.

We shouldn't have gone looking for a mystery

where there wasn't one.

But we did find one, dear Webby.

The mystery of why Donald Duck is mad at the world--

because he loves us.

But we still don't know why Huey's postcard to Donald

was returned in the first place.

[cell phone rings]

[Donald, garbled transmission] Scrooge! Kids!

The inv-- It's in a month!

-I'm coming home soon! -This reception's terrible.

Sounds like he's coming home in a month.

He seems to be having a great time.

[Donald screaming]

[theme music playing]