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Previously on "American Princess"...
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Juan Andr�s.
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I...
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like him.
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You got to go get him!
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Mom O.D.'d. Get your ass home.
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Get Mommy a flat white
from that place on 84th.
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- Hi.
- Oh, she didn't.
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Stop with this foolishness!
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You belong here.
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Doctor Bloom!
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What is going on?
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What is an intervention?
14
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I have finally found a
place where I feel good.
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And I'm gonna stay there for
as long as I keep feeling that way.
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_
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If I sent you a cryptic message
saying, "Save me,"
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you wouldn't at least look into it?
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00:00:43,807 --> 00:00:45,768
_
20
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What?
21
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She's gone.
22
00:00:53,860 --> 00:00:56,037
No F-ing way!
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Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
24
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Where is everyone?
25
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Did the party go late last night?
26
00:01:11,502 --> 00:01:13,827
No. It was after-hours bingo.
27
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There was a huge fight over B-69.
28
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There is no B-69.
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That was the fight.
30
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I love when you report the news.
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Sit. I'll make eggs.
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What are your thoughts on chervil?
33
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No. Tarragon.
34
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You know what?
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I'll surprise you.
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Giada says if you're not willing
to experiment in the kitchen,
37
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then you might as well...
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Shut up and suck it!
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That what I should've told
my mother and sister...
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All of them.
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They interventioned me
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like I was one of those people
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that eats Styrofoam or
marries her chandelier.
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I once had feelings for a tennis racket,
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but it was for a very specific reason.
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They act like this isn't a career.
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People are thriving here.
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You're giving your family
too much power.
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- Ignore them.
- I can't.
50
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My mother has a way
of burrowing into my ear
51
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like one of those worms at camp.
52
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You know the red ones
with the tiny legs?
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That's a centipede,
54
00:02:05,338 --> 00:02:06,976
and if it's inside your head,
you're dead already.
55
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What if this is as good as it gets?
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For me, I mean.
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What if I can't hack it, and... and...
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And I go crawling back to New York
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with my tail between my legs?
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Or not?
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This is your home now.
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We got your back.
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00:02:21,165 --> 00:02:22,993
And if you want
to move up in this world,
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I know you can do it.
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I believe in you.
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Thanks.
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Hi.
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Hi.
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Bye.
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Oh, what?
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We're not gonna talk about the fact
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that you showed up to
my mother's apartment?
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Well, what was I supposed to do?
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You texted "Save me"
and then you went radio silent.
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- So you were worried about me?
- No.
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I mean, yeah, maybe,
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just in a... In a co-worker-y
kind of way.
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Oh, yeah.
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Look, you serve beer, all right?
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You're integral to the faire.
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00:02:55,779 --> 00:02:57,559
How did you find out
where my mother lives?
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Her address is on her Facebook profile.
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You should probably tell her that.
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So, what was your final answer?
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You were worried about me?
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I thought you were dead.
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You're welcome!
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You're all yelling.
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- You're all yelling.
- No, I'm not yelling!
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You're... I can't understand
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when you're all screaming
at the same time!
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You. Chunk. Go.
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Everything got spoiled in the fridge...
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- The milk, the cheese...
- My amoxicillin.
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The avocados.
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Look at me, man. I need good fats!
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Sorry, the damn thing was humming
yesterday, so I tried to fix it.
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00:03:28,882 --> 00:03:30,256
But apparently duct tape
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isn't a suitable replacement
for a fan belt.
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Lesson learned.
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If anyone has a solution, I'm all ears.
102
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Well, why didn't you
just call the repairman?
103
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Oh, that's brilliant.
104
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I'll get on that as soon as I express
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the anal glands of my unicorn.
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It's a refrigerator.
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It can't cost that much.
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Then you pay for it.
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What is this noise about?
110
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And be brief. I don't care that much.
111
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Food was ruined, everyone's starving.
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Oh, that's awful.
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But Queen Elizabeth adored her people.
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_
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As do I.
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00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:06,378
Please.
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Share.
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My mini-fridge is stocked with Go-Gurt.
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It's yours.
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Okay, I'll call and see
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if I can get a guy out here today,
122
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but you all are gonna have
to live with a broken shower
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and no bonfire this week.
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- Whoa!
- No!
125
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I'm sorry, but everything
comes with a price.
126
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We don't have that much
cardboard to burn,
127
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and firewood doesn't
exactly grow on trees.
128
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No. It doesn't.
129
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It is trees.
130
00:04:35,571 --> 00:04:39,017
- This is just so ridiculous.
- Don't mansplain to me.
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My insulin was in there.
132
00:04:43,485 --> 00:04:44,493
You have more pens, right?
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00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,129
Yeah, they'll last me till tomorrow.
134
00:04:46,688 --> 00:04:47,852
Do you have money for more?
135
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I have a gift card to CB2.
136
00:04:50,226 --> 00:04:51,444
Okay, well don't worry.
137
00:04:51,469 --> 00:04:53,249
We'll find some cash. I promise.
138
00:04:53,274 --> 00:04:54,635
You should use that gift card, though.
139
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:55,682
Don't you need a new pouf?
140
00:04:55,707 --> 00:04:57,221
Yeah, I do, but priorities.
141
00:05:01,578 --> 00:05:02,672
- Hey.
- Ugh.
142
00:05:02,697 --> 00:05:04,264
- Lee.
- No.
143
00:05:04,289 --> 00:05:06,570
- Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee.
- What?
144
00:05:06,595 --> 00:05:08,734
Hey, what if we brought
in more money here?
145
00:05:08,759 --> 00:05:11,017
Oh, my God. You're killing it
with the ideas today.
146
00:05:11,042 --> 00:05:12,657
Why don't you suggest that Maggie be
147
00:05:12,682 --> 00:05:14,235
in one of those Spielberg pictures?
148
00:05:14,260 --> 00:05:16,620
I'm just saying that people need stuff.
149
00:05:17,244 --> 00:05:19,157
And I could help.
I love being a pub wench,
150
00:05:19,182 --> 00:05:20,885
but I'm capable of doing more.
151
00:05:20,910 --> 00:05:22,433
Can you fix things?
152
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I once unstuck the button on my key fob.
153
00:05:25,174 --> 00:05:27,313
Well, until you graduate to appliances,
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you are of no use to me.
155
00:05:29,073 --> 00:05:30,696
But what if I found a way
to make the money
156
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,063
to hire the guy to fix the things
157
00:05:32,088 --> 00:05:33,954
so that we can keep the
non-permitted bonfire?
158
00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:37,405
Yeah, you do that, you can
name any job you want.
159
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:38,729
- Really?
- Really.
160
00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:40,625
Now leave me alone.
161
00:05:41,618 --> 00:05:42,618
Huh.
162
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,062
This was all that was salvageable.
163
00:05:49,445 --> 00:05:52,303
We can coat the olives
in crushed cereal,
164
00:05:52,328 --> 00:05:53,396
dip it in the fish sauce,
165
00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,859
and pretend we're on a cooking show
166
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with unqualified judges.
167
00:05:56,641 --> 00:05:59,296
Or we can eat these all separately
168
00:05:59,321 --> 00:06:00,835
and do dinner in town.
169
00:06:00,989 --> 00:06:02,295
Tomorrow.
170
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,429
My treat.
171
00:06:03,851 --> 00:06:05,218
Is it a date?
172
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Maybe.
173
00:06:08,049 --> 00:06:09,981
And will this be cocktail attire?
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00:06:10,006 --> 00:06:11,068
Business casual?
175
00:06:11,093 --> 00:06:13,802
Oh, it's "Dollar Dozen" wings at Nick's.
176
00:06:13,827 --> 00:06:15,438
You can literally go naked.
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Noted.
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00:06:17,599 --> 00:06:20,131
Did someone say "wings"? I love 'em!
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00:06:20,156 --> 00:06:21,607
By themselves, with
the wind beneath them...
180
00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:22,982
Nope. Dudes only.
181
00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:24,574
Oh, come on. I'll pick up the tip.
182
00:06:24,599 --> 00:06:26,334
It's 12 wings for a dollar.
183
00:06:26,359 --> 00:06:27,751
You're offering us dimes.
184
00:06:27,776 --> 00:06:29,693
Delilah, I love you,
185
00:06:29,718 --> 00:06:32,091
but if you show up,
I will shoot you on sight.
186
00:06:33,008 --> 00:06:34,567
So definitely a "no," then?
187
00:06:34,592 --> 00:06:35,854
It's a date!
188
00:06:35,898 --> 00:06:37,769
It... It's a date.
189
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,834
Well, fortunately, there's,
like, a million ways
190
00:06:49,859 --> 00:06:50,913
to make a side hustle.
191
00:06:50,938 --> 00:06:52,811
We could Airbnb my RV,
192
00:06:52,836 --> 00:06:54,827
tutor kids in High German.
193
00:06:54,852 --> 00:06:57,545
Or we could walk dogs, podcast.
194
00:06:57,570 --> 00:06:58,658
Oh! Here we go.
195
00:06:58,683 --> 00:06:59,897
We could donate sperm.
196
00:06:59,922 --> 00:07:01,186
I can't.
197
00:07:01,364 --> 00:07:02,834
Oh, that's right... Diabetic.
198
00:07:02,859 --> 00:07:05,210
Uh, we prefer "person with diabetes."
199
00:07:05,235 --> 00:07:06,281
That's the same thing.
200
00:07:06,306 --> 00:07:08,373
- It's not even close.
- Okay, my bad.
201
00:07:08,542 --> 00:07:09,907
I can do it for both of us.
202
00:07:10,506 --> 00:07:11,760
Yeah, um...
203
00:07:11,785 --> 00:07:14,669
"Must have 48 to 72 hours of abstinence
204
00:07:14,694 --> 00:07:17,123
before first donation." Why?
205
00:07:17,148 --> 00:07:18,481
To make sure you have enough swimmers.
206
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:19,631
How can you hear us?
207
00:07:20,197 --> 00:07:21,197
Oh!
208
00:07:21,222 --> 00:07:22,702
There's no music in here.
209
00:07:22,727 --> 00:07:23,983
I wear these so I can eavesdrop
210
00:07:24,008 --> 00:07:25,748
but still have a shield against talkers.
211
00:07:25,773 --> 00:07:27,170
You know, old ladies on a plane,
212
00:07:27,195 --> 00:07:28,592
or that new steak-on-a-stick girl.
213
00:07:28,617 --> 00:07:31,170
Ugh, we get it!
You're in witness protection.
214
00:07:31,839 --> 00:07:33,959
So, sperm?
215
00:07:34,226 --> 00:07:35,295
Why not just give blood?
216
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:36,765
Um, it hurts.
217
00:07:37,289 --> 00:07:39,663
Uh, why do you have a fatwa
against donating sperm?
218
00:07:39,688 --> 00:07:42,418
I don't. I think it's awesome to
help create families.
219
00:07:42,443 --> 00:07:45,030
But aren't you worried that your kid's
gonna turn up at your doorstep
220
00:07:45,055 --> 00:07:46,170
in, like, 20 years, and be like,
221
00:07:46,195 --> 00:07:48,639
- "Help me, feed me, pay for college"?
- Eh.
222
00:07:48,664 --> 00:07:50,311
I don't really picture
the future that way.
223
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:52,253
Or at all.
224
00:07:52,787 --> 00:07:54,396
I kind of just live in the moment.
225
00:07:54,421 --> 00:07:56,205
Spoken like a man who wears cargos.
226
00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:58,530
And that moment was 1994.
227
00:07:58,555 --> 00:07:59,928
Oh, they're the S.U.V. of shorts.
228
00:07:59,953 --> 00:08:00,997
Don't be jealous.
229
00:08:05,747 --> 00:08:08,498
Speaking of that future
you plan to ignore,
230
00:08:08,523 --> 00:08:10,998
I've been deep-diving all morning.
231
00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:12,038
Did you guys know
232
00:08:12,063 --> 00:08:13,889
that we're not the only
Ren Faire in America?
233
00:08:13,914 --> 00:08:16,186
There's like six in Texas alone.
234
00:08:16,211 --> 00:08:17,694
- Yeah.
- We know.
235
00:08:17,719 --> 00:08:18,819
And there's other places, too.
236
00:08:18,844 --> 00:08:20,891
They have, like, carnivals,
and theme weekends,
237
00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:22,413
and all kinds of attractions.
238
00:08:22,438 --> 00:08:24,342
Like "The Dragon Dungeon"?
239
00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:26,462
Or the "Haunted House of Harlots"?
240
00:08:26,487 --> 00:08:27,647
We know.
241
00:08:27,672 --> 00:08:29,127
We work them the other half of the year.
242
00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:32,053
So you're aware of the kind
of money that's to be had?
243
00:08:32,549 --> 00:08:34,252
Why aren't we doing any of this?
244
00:08:34,277 --> 00:08:35,498
Oh, Maggie doesn't like it.
245
00:08:35,523 --> 00:08:37,176
Right, Maggie.
246
00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:38,561
Well, we definitely don't want to remove
247
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,006
that stick from her ass.
248
00:08:40,031 --> 00:08:41,991
The other hundred up
there would be so lonely.
249
00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:44,295
I mean, I kind of agree
with Maggie on this one.
250
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,131
The Royal is special. It's authentic.
251
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,795
If we just start bringing in
escape rooms and climbing walls,
252
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,131
it's not truthful to the period.
253
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:52,022
You're a mudbeggar.
254
00:08:52,104 --> 00:08:53,991
That's not authentic to the period.
255
00:08:54,016 --> 00:08:56,225
Again, Maggie's the one
you need to worry about.
256
00:08:56,488 --> 00:08:57,880
I'll convince her.
257
00:08:58,127 --> 00:08:59,563
I'll convince you all!
258
00:09:00,962 --> 00:09:02,248
David.
259
00:09:03,186 --> 00:09:04,762
I dropped my diaphragm down the sink
260
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:05,936
and now it won't work.
261
00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:07,663
The sink, I mean.
262
00:09:10,108 --> 00:09:12,110
I'm gonna catch up on my stories.
263
00:09:14,837 --> 00:09:15,837
Okay.
264
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:21,225
- Oh! Whoa! What are you doing?
- It's a new moon.
265
00:09:22,014 --> 00:09:24,006
We have to do it before
the end of the waxing phase
266
00:09:24,039 --> 00:09:25,663
in order to harness her lunar energy.
267
00:09:25,688 --> 00:09:28,803
Okay, will she still be
waxing in 48 to 72 hours?
268
00:09:29,047 --> 00:09:30,047
No.
269
00:09:30,072 --> 00:09:31,202
And I have period cramps.
270
00:09:31,227 --> 00:09:32,772
Right, uh, well what about the sink?
271
00:09:32,797 --> 00:09:34,704
Oh, okay, I see what you're doing.
272
00:09:34,729 --> 00:09:35,729
Whoa!
273
00:09:35,754 --> 00:09:36,959
Oh!
274
00:09:37,340 --> 00:09:39,006
Oh, yeah.
275
00:09:39,472 --> 00:09:40,873
Oh, yeah, baby.
276
00:09:42,147 --> 00:09:44,577
I'm cumming! I'm cumming!
277
00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:49,090
Me as well! Ohh!
278
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:51,670
Oh.
279
00:09:54,754 --> 00:09:55,754
Oh.
280
00:09:56,356 --> 00:09:58,012
Are you doing tantra?
281
00:09:58,037 --> 00:09:59,038
Huh?
282
00:09:59,063 --> 00:10:01,153
No. Why?
283
00:10:01,178 --> 00:10:03,167
Uh, because you didn't orgasm.
284
00:10:03,450 --> 00:10:04,684
Yes, I did.
285
00:10:04,709 --> 00:10:06,058
I know your face, David.
286
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,781
It does a "thing" when you release.
287
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,142
Okay.
288
00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:12,176
I was saving my sperm
to donate for Stick
289
00:10:12,201 --> 00:10:14,295
so he can get insulin meds
so he won't die,
290
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:15,789
and it would've been easier
to say that up front,
291
00:10:15,814 --> 00:10:17,297
but it seems like a long story.
292
00:10:17,594 --> 00:10:18,797
- It is.
- Wait, hold on.
293
00:10:18,822 --> 00:10:20,000
What do you mean my face does a "thing"?
294
00:10:20,305 --> 00:10:21,555
Like, a smile?
295
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,548
I'll show you.
296
00:10:24,078 --> 00:10:25,219
Wha... No, I told you
297
00:10:25,244 --> 00:10:26,843
I never want to watch that video again!
298
00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:28,477
You said you were gonna erase it!
299
00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:31,320
I was, but then I didn't.
300
00:10:31,345 --> 00:10:32,617
No, no, no!
301
00:10:32,642 --> 00:10:34,578
No, Cal... Callie!
302
00:10:37,369 --> 00:10:41,242
Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohh!
303
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:42,641
Ohh!
304
00:10:43,163 --> 00:10:44,294
No.
305
00:10:46,726 --> 00:10:48,171
As you can see...
306
00:10:48,196 --> 00:10:49,781
the sky is the limit.
307
00:10:49,806 --> 00:10:53,663
There are zip lines,
water orbs, petting zoos.
308
00:10:53,688 --> 00:10:56,630
Each and every one of these
has their own separate fee.
309
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,352
And that's not even counting
310
00:10:58,377 --> 00:10:59,851
the extra tickets that we could sell
311
00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:01,742
if we had a theme weekend.
312
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,771
"Come as Ye Are!"
313
00:11:05,796 --> 00:11:06,796
People can dress up
314
00:11:06,821 --> 00:11:09,171
as sci-fi characters, or monsters,
315
00:11:09,196 --> 00:11:11,413
or, you know, whatever they want.
316
00:11:11,616 --> 00:11:12,999
Wait, so where does the money go?
317
00:11:13,024 --> 00:11:15,156
I am glad you asked, miss.
318
00:11:15,422 --> 00:11:17,467
Every attraction or ride
319
00:11:17,492 --> 00:11:20,244
would give 25% of its profits
320
00:11:20,269 --> 00:11:22,097
back to the faire.
321
00:11:22,122 --> 00:11:24,081
We could pump that money
directly back to us
322
00:11:24,106 --> 00:11:26,989
for maintenance, employee benefits.
323
00:11:27,446 --> 00:11:29,507
We could maybe even
get health insurance.
324
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,515
If we did a theme weekend,
I could sell my pirate flagons.
325
00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:35,520
And I have a bunch of merch
from "That's So Raven,"
326
00:11:35,545 --> 00:11:36,807
signed by Raven.
327
00:11:36,832 --> 00:11:38,624
Random, but so cool!
328
00:11:39,374 --> 00:11:40,687
Of course,
329
00:11:40,712 --> 00:11:43,202
we would keep the integrity of the Royal
330
00:11:43,227 --> 00:11:46,218
with all of its prestige and pageantry.
331
00:11:46,243 --> 00:11:48,195
So le pi�ce de r�sistance...
332
00:11:51,256 --> 00:11:52,388
- Not this.
- Oh!
333
00:11:52,431 --> 00:11:53,820
That's not... I was doodling.
334
00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,577
A cosplay contest!
335
00:11:56,602 --> 00:12:00,214
Hosted by our very own
dear Queen Elizabeth.
336
00:12:03,233 --> 00:12:04,233
No.
337
00:12:04,258 --> 00:12:05,694
You heard her. Show's over.
338
00:12:05,719 --> 00:12:06,921
Wait, what?
339
00:12:07,374 --> 00:12:08,687
I want to know why.
340
00:12:08,712 --> 00:12:10,867
I am not judging some tacky
Halloween competition,
341
00:12:10,892 --> 00:12:13,062
nor am I participating
in a theme weekend!
342
00:12:13,208 --> 00:12:15,791
If I wanted to see a bunch
of half-naked idiots eating meat pies,
343
00:12:15,816 --> 00:12:17,867
I would attend Natasha's
next potluck orgy.
344
00:12:17,892 --> 00:12:19,408
It's on Tuesday, FYI.
345
00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:21,588
- I agree with Maggie.
- What a surprise.
346
00:12:21,613 --> 00:12:23,180
It's inauthentic.
347
00:12:23,205 --> 00:12:25,807
And she and I are doing
a new bit this weekend
348
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,713
on the Shakespeare apocrypha.
349
00:12:28,283 --> 00:12:30,885
My soliloquy in "Arden of Faversham"...
350
00:12:32,427 --> 00:12:33,861
I can't talk about it.
351
00:12:34,865 --> 00:12:36,151
Okay, so...
352
00:12:37,832 --> 00:12:39,008
why don't we have a vote?
353
00:12:41,176 --> 00:12:42,502
Oh, yeah,
354
00:12:42,527 --> 00:12:43,752
you're still new here, dear.
355
00:12:43,777 --> 00:12:45,307
This is a monarchy.
356
00:12:46,963 --> 00:12:48,627
Not on weekdays.
357
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,549
All in favor of trying something new...
358
00:13:04,813 --> 00:13:05,813
Yeah.
359
00:13:18,604 --> 00:13:20,171
The people have spoken.
360
00:13:31,729 --> 00:13:33,856
Oh, my God, I love zip lines!
361
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,401
Remember the one in Costa Rica?
362
00:13:35,426 --> 00:13:37,565
I heard someone died on it
the month after we were there,
363
00:13:37,590 --> 00:13:39,166
but still, how much fun did we have?
364
00:13:41,901 --> 00:13:43,533
Shabbat Shalom to you, too, bitch.
365
00:13:43,558 --> 00:13:45,124
You would never believe the traffic,
366
00:13:45,149 --> 00:13:46,549
and then my GPS wasn't working,
367
00:13:46,574 --> 00:13:48,087
so I had to use the Wi-Fi.
368
00:13:48,112 --> 00:13:49,346
What the hell are you doing here?
369
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:51,393
I know things got a little
dicey back at home...
370
00:13:51,418 --> 00:13:53,314
Dicey? You guys were
practically one step away
371
00:13:53,339 --> 00:13:54,774
from putting me in a padded cell.
372
00:13:54,799 --> 00:13:56,221
Well, textured walls are in right now.
373
00:13:56,691 --> 00:13:57,923
I'm sorry, but technically,
374
00:13:57,948 --> 00:13:59,268
the intervention was Mom's idea...
375
00:13:59,293 --> 00:14:00,555
- Oh.
- ... and it didn't work.
376
00:14:00,797 --> 00:14:02,276
Frankly, you inspired me.
377
00:14:02,301 --> 00:14:03,886
- To do what?
- To come here.
378
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:04,911
All you could do is talk about
379
00:14:04,936 --> 00:14:06,097
how happy this place is.
380
00:14:06,122 --> 00:14:08,011
I figured I'd get in
on some of the action.
381
00:14:08,043 --> 00:14:10,464
Well, a little notice
would've been appreciated.
382
00:14:10,489 --> 00:14:12,198
I wanted to surprise you.
383
00:14:12,223 --> 00:14:14,479
And Joel's frat brother came
to town with his two sons,
384
00:14:14,504 --> 00:14:16,386
so there was a lot of
extra penis in my house.
385
00:14:17,025 --> 00:14:18,025
It's good to see you, really.
386
00:14:18,050 --> 00:14:19,243
I just have a lot going on right now.
387
00:14:19,268 --> 00:14:20,386
I'll stay out of your hair.
388
00:14:20,411 --> 00:14:22,331
I brought my vape pen
and the new Gillian Flynn
389
00:14:22,356 --> 00:14:24,602
about a girl on a trolley
who witnesses a murder.
390
00:14:24,627 --> 00:14:25,628
Or did she?
391
00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:28,112
Yeah. That's...
392
00:14:28,137 --> 00:14:29,791
That's a cute face, right?
393
00:14:31,349 --> 00:14:32,349
We're in here.
394
00:14:32,374 --> 00:14:33,418
- Here?
- Yeah.
395
00:14:33,443 --> 00:14:35,065
- Oh.
- Guys.
396
00:14:35,662 --> 00:14:37,112
I need you to be honest.
397
00:14:38,331 --> 00:14:39,791
What does this look like to you?
398
00:14:42,573 --> 00:14:44,190
A man in his death throes.
399
00:14:44,215 --> 00:14:45,623
A PSA for bath salts?
400
00:14:45,648 --> 00:14:47,175
Is my face really that bad?
401
00:14:47,513 --> 00:14:49,300
Well, not if you're trying to look like
402
00:14:49,325 --> 00:14:51,281
the kid from "The Shining"
when he saw those dead twins.
403
00:14:51,306 --> 00:14:52,776
"Come with us.
404
00:14:52,801 --> 00:14:54,331
- Come with us, David."
- Nice. Nice.
405
00:14:54,356 --> 00:14:55,714
Yes, I get it. I'm a frightened child.
406
00:14:55,739 --> 00:14:56,784
Yeah, that's your face.
407
00:14:56,809 --> 00:14:58,114
Maybe we should see it
408
00:14:58,139 --> 00:14:59,268
from another angle.
409
00:14:59,293 --> 00:15:01,339
Perhaps one that showcases
Callie's breasts?
410
00:15:01,364 --> 00:15:02,370
- No.
- Ah.
411
00:15:02,395 --> 00:15:05,316
And you're awfully horny for
an insulin-less person with diabetes.
412
00:15:05,341 --> 00:15:07,918
Oh, I've already asked
the Friar for a loan,
413
00:15:07,943 --> 00:15:09,785
and the pharmacy's filling
my prescription today.
414
00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:11,867
Uh-huh, I'm glad that
your crisis is solved.
415
00:15:11,892 --> 00:15:12,970
Mm-hmm.
416
00:15:13,391 --> 00:15:15,894
Okay. Well, what do
your faces look like?
417
00:15:17,941 --> 00:15:19,136
Uh...
418
00:15:21,861 --> 00:15:23,642
Aah. Neither of them are accurate.
419
00:15:23,667 --> 00:15:26,620
- And how do you know?
- Because Callie revealed to me
420
00:15:26,645 --> 00:15:27,728
that we have all been living
421
00:15:27,753 --> 00:15:29,861
in some kind of O-face fantasy.
422
00:15:30,256 --> 00:15:32,611
- I've never technically seen mine.
- Same.
423
00:15:32,636 --> 00:15:34,220
I'm usually focused on my partner.
424
00:15:34,697 --> 00:15:36,814
I mean, is there anything more beautiful
425
00:15:36,839 --> 00:15:38,884
than a woman's face
experiencing pleasure?
426
00:15:41,447 --> 00:15:42,812
You've noticed, right?
427
00:15:42,837 --> 00:15:43,942
- Yes.
- All the time.
428
00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:46,423
- Mm-hmm.
- We have to do something about this,
429
00:15:46,448 --> 00:15:47,790
otherwise we're just going out there
430
00:15:47,815 --> 00:15:49,705
scarring women's retinas.
431
00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:51,990
All right.
432
00:15:52,015 --> 00:15:54,431
Well, it may take me
a while to get going,
433
00:15:54,456 --> 00:15:56,327
but if one of you could
talk like Helen Mirren,
434
00:15:56,352 --> 00:15:58,283
- that'd speed things up.
- Whoa!
435
00:15:58,308 --> 00:16:00,047
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
436
00:16:00,072 --> 00:16:02,259
Put that away now. Please.
437
00:16:02,284 --> 00:16:04,080
- I want feedback!
- Unh-unh.
438
00:16:04,105 --> 00:16:06,259
Then we should film ourselves
439
00:16:06,284 --> 00:16:08,227
in the privacy of
our own homes and yurts
440
00:16:08,252 --> 00:16:10,445
and report back here for
constructive criticism.
441
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,471
- Yes?
- Yes.
442
00:16:11,496 --> 00:16:12,496
Fine.
443
00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:25,696
- No, I'm sorry I said that.
- Wow.
444
00:16:26,851 --> 00:16:28,098
- Hey.
- Hi.
445
00:16:28,134 --> 00:16:29,406
I told you this was date night.
446
00:16:29,431 --> 00:16:30,911
Oh, yeah, and I totally respected that,
447
00:16:30,936 --> 00:16:32,608
but then I told Natasha
it was Dollar Dozen wings,
448
00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:35,258
and she invited me, and
I didn't want to be rude.
449
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,281
This is my best life.
450
00:16:37,306 --> 00:16:38,348
Okay.
451
00:16:38,542 --> 00:16:39,711
Hello, hello!
452
00:16:39,736 --> 00:16:41,375
Welcome to "Bare Your Soul."
453
00:16:41,931 --> 00:16:43,469
You guys know the drill.
454
00:16:43,494 --> 00:16:44,937
Come up, share.
455
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,867
Please keep nudity to your bottom half.
456
00:16:47,203 --> 00:16:48,976
Uh, First up, Delilah.
457
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:50,687
- Oh, my God!
- Delilah, oh, there she is.
458
00:16:50,712 --> 00:16:52,851
Over here! Delilah!
459
00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:55,484
D! Whoa!
460
00:16:56,782 --> 00:17:01,297
Growing up, I had a lot of struggles.
461
00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:05,812
And when I needed to feel better,
462
00:17:06,299 --> 00:17:09,469
this song lifted me up.
463
00:17:10,303 --> 00:17:11,937
It was my safe space.
464
00:17:12,647 --> 00:17:16,999
Thank you for letting
me share it with you.
465
00:17:21,694 --> 00:17:24,233
? Informer ?
466
00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,819
? Ya no say daddy me ?
467
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:28,248
? Snow me gon' blame ?
468
00:17:28,637 --> 00:17:31,509
? A licky boom boom down ?
469
00:17:31,741 --> 00:17:34,108
? 'Tective man, he say, say daddy me ?
470
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:37,397
? Snow me, stab someone down the lane ?
471
00:17:38,139 --> 00:17:40,997
? A licky boom boom down ?
472
00:17:41,022 --> 00:17:43,415
? Informer ?
473
00:17:43,470 --> 00:17:45,080
? Ya no say daddy me ?
474
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:47,373
? Snow me gon' blame ?
475
00:17:47,754 --> 00:17:50,490
- ? A licky boom boom down ?
- It's the second time you've done that.
476
00:17:50,523 --> 00:17:51,523
What?
477
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,048
- ? He say, say daddy me ?
- Pulled away from me.
478
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,488
Are my hands sweaty?
479
00:17:54,513 --> 00:17:56,782
I'm Latino, so a slick sheen
is as good as it gets.
480
00:17:57,086 --> 00:17:58,609
Your hands are fine.
481
00:17:59,091 --> 00:18:00,788
I don't like PDA.
482
00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:04,169
Is this, like, a gay thing?
483
00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:05,490
No!
484
00:18:06,609 --> 00:18:09,774
It's about decency and respect.
485
00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:11,923
Some things should be done in private.
486
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:15,113
Unless you want to be like
Natasha and The Fluffers.
487
00:18:15,138 --> 00:18:16,138
Ugh!
488
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,860
Disgusting.
489
00:18:17,885 --> 00:18:19,376
You're being weird.
They're actually normal.
490
00:18:19,401 --> 00:18:21,359
Can we drop it? She's about
to mess up the high note.
491
00:18:21,965 --> 00:18:24,368
? Where they ripped down me pants ?
492
00:18:24,393 --> 00:18:28,881
? Looked up me bottom ?
493
00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:31,084
Well, she hit it.
494
00:18:32,073 --> 00:18:33,395
Thank God for you.
495
00:18:35,794 --> 00:18:37,537
Wow, Delilah!
496
00:18:37,562 --> 00:18:38,920
- Painting a picture.
- Whoa!
497
00:18:38,945 --> 00:18:40,412
You guys ready for more show?
498
00:18:41,761 --> 00:18:42,761
Okay.
499
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,799
We're happy to have you.
500
00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:47,516
Welcome to our abode.
501
00:18:48,743 --> 00:18:50,141
I'll be back tomorrow.
502
00:18:50,166 --> 00:18:53,141
A bunch of us are gonna bury
the rotten food from the fridge
503
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,735
and see how long it takes
to start a fart-fire.
504
00:18:59,102 --> 00:19:01,773
Hmm. Odd child.
505
00:19:02,098 --> 00:19:03,098
Sweet, though.
506
00:19:03,123 --> 00:19:04,969
Usually, when my kids take their leave,
507
00:19:04,994 --> 00:19:06,508
it's by force, and it ends
with one of them
508
00:19:06,533 --> 00:19:08,258
hurling an iPhone at my face.
509
00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:10,981
What's up with you?
510
00:19:11,006 --> 00:19:12,585
It's rotten food. He's a kid.
511
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,329
He shouldn't have to deal
with that kind of stuff.
512
00:19:14,439 --> 00:19:15,527
Doesn't seem like he cared.
513
00:19:15,552 --> 00:19:16,945
The adults do.
514
00:19:16,970 --> 00:19:19,382
And I promised them
money and security and...
515
00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:21,184
Oh, my God, health insurance.
516
00:19:21,373 --> 00:19:23,098
What if I can't deliver?
What was I thinking?
517
00:19:23,123 --> 00:19:24,254
You'll be fine.
518
00:19:24,279 --> 00:19:26,510
You pulled your wedding
together and it was gorgeous.
519
00:19:26,535 --> 00:19:29,244
- Well, at least it would've been.
- Well, that's just it.
520
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,346
The stakes are way higher
521
00:19:30,371 --> 00:19:32,229
than me and Brett getting
liked on Instagram.
522
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,893
These are people's lives.
I feel like I gave them hope.
523
00:19:34,918 --> 00:19:35,918
Hello?
524
00:19:35,943 --> 00:19:37,191
Obama '08?
525
00:19:37,216 --> 00:19:38,217
Hope is a good thing.
526
00:19:38,242 --> 00:19:39,629
If people are grasping for it,
527
00:19:39,654 --> 00:19:41,105
it's usually because they need it.
528
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:42,847
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
529
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:44,785
I'm sorry.
530
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:46,271
And I'm double sorry
that I don't have time
531
00:19:46,296 --> 00:19:47,831
to be a tour guide during your visit.
532
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:50,103
It's fine.
533
00:19:50,128 --> 00:19:51,303
I'll wander around,
534
00:19:51,328 --> 00:19:52,843
find some second-tier fun.
535
00:19:53,032 --> 00:19:54,485
- What do you mean?
- You know,
536
00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:56,376
first-tier is fun while it's happening
537
00:19:56,409 --> 00:19:58,157
and you remember it that way, too.
538
00:19:58,182 --> 00:20:00,750
Second-tier fun is like this.
539
00:20:00,775 --> 00:20:03,079
Crappy in the moment,
but good for stories later.
540
00:20:03,104 --> 00:20:06,073
Okay, the faire is first-tier fun.
541
00:20:06,098 --> 00:20:07,103
Trust me.
542
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,446
Now gimme. I have a big day tomorrow.
543
00:20:09,471 --> 00:20:11,367
Well, take it easy. Last time
you got "the fear"
544
00:20:11,392 --> 00:20:13,156
and thought the maid
was trying to kill you, so...
545
00:20:17,632 --> 00:20:18,961
I've developed a tolerance.
546
00:20:20,188 --> 00:20:23,149
The beauty of dolphin
in the deep blue sea.
547
00:20:23,768 --> 00:20:24,768
He's you.
548
00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,412
He's her.
549
00:20:26,437 --> 00:20:27,719
He's they.
550
00:20:27,986 --> 00:20:30,467
He's me!
551
00:20:32,057 --> 00:20:33,057
Wow.
552
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:42,110
Okay, thank you, Helen, for that, uh...
553
00:20:42,883 --> 00:20:44,506
terrifying twist.
554
00:20:44,531 --> 00:20:46,313
Okay, up next,
555
00:20:46,649 --> 00:20:48,844
the artist formerly known
as "Faire Bear."
556
00:20:48,869 --> 00:20:50,349
- Mm.
- Faire Bear.
557
00:20:50,812 --> 00:20:51,982
There he is.
558
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:57,247
Thank you, Nick Jr.
559
00:20:57,808 --> 00:21:00,755
Uh, so, coffee table books, am I right?
560
00:21:03,001 --> 00:21:04,001
When I drink "coffee,"
561
00:21:04,026 --> 00:21:06,071
I got to put a coaster
down on the "book,"
562
00:21:06,096 --> 00:21:07,532
which I never "read."
563
00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:09,298
So, yeah...
564
00:21:11,508 --> 00:21:12,508
Ugh.
565
00:21:12,977 --> 00:21:16,927
My name is Juan Andr�s, or One Andrayas,
566
00:21:16,952 --> 00:21:20,251
and my date tonight
567
00:21:20,595 --> 00:21:22,436
doesn't want to hold my hand.
568
00:21:22,461 --> 00:21:24,463
- What?!
- Oh, come on.
569
00:21:26,501 --> 00:21:27,857
It's okay.
570
00:21:28,139 --> 00:21:30,148
Rejection grows hair on your chest,
571
00:21:30,173 --> 00:21:32,115
which I clearly need.
572
00:21:34,154 --> 00:21:35,884
Hold his hand!
573
00:21:36,043 --> 00:21:39,107
Hold his hand! Hold his hand!
574
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:42,201
Hold his hand! Hold his hand!
575
00:21:42,226 --> 00:21:45,388
Hold his hand! Hold his hand!
576
00:21:45,413 --> 00:21:48,506
Hold his hand! Hold his hand!
577
00:21:52,346 --> 00:21:53,865
Oh, cute.
578
00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,021
Oh, wow.
579
00:21:57,297 --> 00:21:59,701
So, uh, potted plants, am I right?
580
00:22:00,303 --> 00:22:02,032
Like... What do we have?
581
00:22:02,057 --> 00:22:05,062
Lilies, we have daisies, ferns.
582
00:22:05,263 --> 00:22:06,373
I mean, what are those?
583
00:22:06,398 --> 00:22:08,435
Are those real plants,
or are those my ex-wives?
584
00:22:20,613 --> 00:22:22,702
We could start at Vegetable Fury
585
00:22:22,727 --> 00:22:23,771
and then hit the Mud Show.
586
00:22:23,796 --> 00:22:25,810
Or we could get drunk at the joust.
587
00:22:26,662 --> 00:22:28,334
I don't care what we do,
588
00:22:28,577 --> 00:22:30,696
as long as I get to courtly dance.
589
00:22:41,959 --> 00:22:43,298
Two, three.
590
00:22:43,323 --> 00:22:45,151
- Whee!
- Whee!
591
00:22:45,176 --> 00:22:47,529
I'm a gorgeous older woman!
592
00:22:47,554 --> 00:22:49,256
Whoo!
593
00:22:56,356 --> 00:22:57,437
Looks good out there.
594
00:22:58,835 --> 00:22:59,835
You think?
595
00:23:00,107 --> 00:23:01,107
Yeah.
596
00:23:01,132 --> 00:23:03,522
I mean, I got catcalled by a poop emoji.
597
00:23:03,547 --> 00:23:04,616
I don't know if that's normal.
598
00:23:04,641 --> 00:23:06,577
But it seems like a ton of people
599
00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:08,218
- are out here today.
- Hm.
600
00:23:08,759 --> 00:23:10,944
Maybe my stupid plan is working.
601
00:23:11,546 --> 00:23:12,981
Stupidly works that way.
602
00:23:16,275 --> 00:23:17,743
Okay. Ooh.
603
00:23:17,768 --> 00:23:19,749
Okay, go. Play. Laugh. Do.
604
00:23:19,774 --> 00:23:20,775
Oh.
605
00:23:22,171 --> 00:23:24,271
Ah! Ah. I was looking for you.
606
00:23:24,296 --> 00:23:26,421
Can you point me to
the laser tag cottage?
607
00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:28,179
I'm feeling a little
trigger happy today.
608
00:23:29,026 --> 00:23:30,026
Maggie.
609
00:23:30,051 --> 00:23:31,888
Why aren't you in your costume?
610
00:23:32,076 --> 00:23:33,287
I am.
611
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,757
We're supposed to be our
favorite movie characters, right?
612
00:23:35,875 --> 00:23:37,085
I'm the girl in the rom-com
613
00:23:37,126 --> 00:23:38,444
who wears pants and a white shirt
614
00:23:38,469 --> 00:23:40,079
because I paint sometimes.
615
00:23:40,264 --> 00:23:42,397
And I'm clumsy. Ohh-whoops!
616
00:23:42,872 --> 00:23:44,901
Pray, my Queen, we have a show to do.
617
00:23:44,926 --> 00:23:46,452
The Shakespeare apocrypha?
618
00:23:46,736 --> 00:23:48,913
We can't cheat the world of my Cardenio.
619
00:23:48,938 --> 00:23:50,483
Oh, I'm sorry, love.
620
00:23:50,774 --> 00:23:51,944
I didn't raise my hand at the vote,
621
00:23:51,969 --> 00:23:53,655
so I'm a patron today.
622
00:23:54,962 --> 00:23:57,392
Your new leader will figure it out.
623
00:23:59,642 --> 00:24:01,918
People are expecting the
queen on stage with me
624
00:24:01,943 --> 00:24:03,547
in one hour.
625
00:24:03,892 --> 00:24:05,654
Tick tock.
626
00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:22,669
Hola.
627
00:24:23,287 --> 00:24:24,288
We should talk.
628
00:24:25,033 --> 00:24:26,033
No need.
629
00:24:26,228 --> 00:24:27,528
I overstepped your boundary.
630
00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:28,771
It won't happen again.
631
00:24:29,663 --> 00:24:30,663
Oh.
632
00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:32,624
Okay.
633
00:24:33,325 --> 00:24:34,500
Thank you.
634
00:24:36,514 --> 00:24:38,788
I wish I could've heard
the end of your set.
635
00:24:39,675 --> 00:24:41,156
I riffed on juice.
636
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,480
It killed.
637
00:24:42,505 --> 00:24:43,659
I'm sure it did.
638
00:24:44,176 --> 00:24:45,401
Come here, you.
639
00:24:45,703 --> 00:24:47,433
Whoa, buddy.
640
00:24:48,659 --> 00:24:50,042
There's people around.
641
00:24:50,471 --> 00:24:51,847
Let's wave it out.
642
00:24:56,270 --> 00:24:57,663
Hm.
643
00:24:57,688 --> 00:24:59,777
Is everyone proving a point today?
644
00:25:07,223 --> 00:25:08,223
Oh, yeah.
645
00:25:11,723 --> 00:25:13,197
Mm-hmm. That's up there.
646
00:25:13,222 --> 00:25:16,176
M'lady! Good morrow!
647
00:25:16,201 --> 00:25:17,981
Wouldst thou lend me your ear?
648
00:25:18,248 --> 00:25:19,604
The Queen has gone mad.
649
00:25:19,629 --> 00:25:21,079
Oh, I know she's upset,
650
00:25:21,104 --> 00:25:22,517
but "mad" is a bit hyperbolic.
651
00:25:22,542 --> 00:25:23,587
Is it?
652
00:25:24,852 --> 00:25:26,353
Whoo! Hoo!
653
00:25:26,378 --> 00:25:28,345
Hey! Whoo! Whoo!
654
00:25:28,370 --> 00:25:30,397
Whoo! Whee!
655
00:25:30,422 --> 00:25:31,736
I was hoping that she
would blow off some steam
656
00:25:31,761 --> 00:25:32,936
and eventually come to her senses.
657
00:25:32,961 --> 00:25:33,986
We don't have time for that.
658
00:25:34,011 --> 00:25:35,642
Are you too busy clicking
you haven't noticed?
659
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,753
Her people are rebelling in her absence!
660
00:25:38,251 --> 00:25:39,758
Oh. Ew.
661
00:25:39,783 --> 00:25:42,040
- I should fill in for her.
- No, I should!
662
00:25:42,065 --> 00:25:43,851
I've studied all of
Her Majesty's phrasings.
663
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:45,786
You know what, eat a dick, Debbie.
664
00:25:45,811 --> 00:25:47,284
Eat a dick? I shan't do that.
665
00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:48,714
Really?
666
00:25:48,739 --> 00:25:50,681
'Cause that's not what I
heard you did last night.
667
00:25:50,706 --> 00:25:52,359
Oh, what's up? Oh, oh!
668
00:25:52,997 --> 00:25:55,892
Only a royal pardon from the Queen
669
00:25:55,926 --> 00:25:58,384
can save you now.
670
00:26:02,368 --> 00:26:03,579
Guess not.
671
00:26:04,257 --> 00:26:05,257
Ow!
672
00:26:06,395 --> 00:26:08,435
- Ah.
- Yeah.
673
00:26:08,828 --> 00:26:09,828
Okay.
674
00:26:10,513 --> 00:26:11,681
Let's keep this from Lee
675
00:26:11,706 --> 00:26:13,229
until I figure out what I'm gonna do.
676
00:26:13,324 --> 00:26:15,862
He's probably cooped up in
his office or something anyway.
677
00:26:15,903 --> 00:26:17,263
Yeah.
678
00:26:19,247 --> 00:26:21,020
- Did you tell him?
- Of course not.
679
00:26:21,372 --> 00:26:22,956
Okay, I may have mentioned it to Natasha
680
00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:24,958
who told the new steak-on-a-stick
girl who told Lee,
681
00:26:24,983 --> 00:26:26,802
I think she's looking
for attention, poor thing.
682
00:26:26,827 --> 00:26:27,974
Good luck!
683
00:26:28,521 --> 00:26:29,560
Hello.
684
00:26:29,585 --> 00:26:32,294
Remember how I said you could
name any job you want?
685
00:26:32,319 --> 00:26:33,786
Well, right now, I'm torn between
686
00:26:33,811 --> 00:26:36,950
assistant manager to
a port-a-potty cleaner and fired.
687
00:26:36,975 --> 00:26:38,489
Well, what am I supposed to do?
688
00:26:38,514 --> 00:26:40,080
Maggie's acting like a maniac.
689
00:26:40,105 --> 00:26:43,028
Just fix this mess you made
and get our Queen back!
690
00:26:52,698 --> 00:26:53,698
Maggie!
691
00:26:56,871 --> 00:26:58,133
Maggie!
692
00:27:11,372 --> 00:27:12,395
What do you want?
693
00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:14,427
I'm glad to see you're having fun.
694
00:27:14,452 --> 00:27:16,672
You're doing things we'll
never be able to unsee.
695
00:27:16,944 --> 00:27:19,895
But the people, Maggie,
they're asking for the Queen.
696
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,356
Queen?
697
00:27:21,381 --> 00:27:24,120
Which one? Amidala? Latifah?
698
00:27:24,664 --> 00:27:26,209
I know you're trying
to make a statement,
699
00:27:26,234 --> 00:27:28,325
and I understand...
700
00:27:28,350 --> 00:27:29,699
No, you don't.
701
00:27:30,145 --> 00:27:31,505
You couldn't possibly.
702
00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:37,046
You're upset because your coup d'�tat
703
00:27:37,071 --> 00:27:38,716
turned into a faux paux
704
00:27:38,741 --> 00:27:41,341
which has left you, je ne sais quoi.
705
00:27:41,934 --> 00:27:43,065
Fucked.
706
00:27:43,575 --> 00:27:44,575
That was good.
707
00:27:44,849 --> 00:27:46,536
But I'm not trying to stage a coup.
708
00:27:47,035 --> 00:27:49,160
I wanted to make money so
that we could help people.
709
00:27:49,185 --> 00:27:50,849
We were all doing fine.
710
00:27:51,137 --> 00:27:52,137
You were.
711
00:27:52,162 --> 00:27:54,150
Maybe all that time in
your castle in the sky
712
00:27:54,175 --> 00:27:55,794
has made you out
of touch with your people.
713
00:27:55,819 --> 00:27:57,604
Some of whom are struggling, Maggie.
714
00:27:57,629 --> 00:27:59,634
They have doctor's bills and kids.
715
00:27:59,659 --> 00:28:01,270
So this is your charity?
716
00:28:01,766 --> 00:28:03,263
I reject that frame.
717
00:28:03,288 --> 00:28:05,020
I know when a bitch
is trying to deflect.
718
00:28:05,045 --> 00:28:07,536
Lest you forget I am schooled
in reality television.
719
00:28:07,888 --> 00:28:10,356
Then you'll understand when I say,
720
00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:12,489
"Farewell, Felicia."
721
00:28:33,894 --> 00:28:35,260
Namaste.
722
00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:36,755
I don't like the tongue.
723
00:28:37,111 --> 00:28:38,678
It's not my fault.
724
00:28:38,703 --> 00:28:40,226
It doesn't want to stay in my mouth.
725
00:28:40,251 --> 00:28:41,294
It's weird, it's like your eyes
726
00:28:41,319 --> 00:28:42,848
are trying to run away from each other.
727
00:28:43,137 --> 00:28:44,399
Like a hammerhead shark.
728
00:28:44,424 --> 00:28:45,520
Or Brandy.
729
00:28:45,545 --> 00:28:47,630
- Hey, remember Brandy?
- Yeah, what a voice!
730
00:28:48,145 --> 00:28:50,098
You know what, fine! Let's see yours.
731
00:28:50,123 --> 00:28:51,286
Happily!
732
00:28:51,586 --> 00:28:53,473
I feel very confident in my work.
733
00:28:54,869 --> 00:28:56,268
- Oh! Whoa!
- Ugh.
734
00:28:56,293 --> 00:28:57,661
Jesus! Full body?
735
00:28:57,686 --> 00:28:59,591
Yeah, the toes are integral
to the whole experience.
736
00:28:59,616 --> 00:29:00,921
I can tell.
737
00:29:01,525 --> 00:29:03,869
What is it? More teeth? Less?
738
00:29:03,925 --> 00:29:06,259
It's not really a mouth issue,
it's more like,
739
00:29:06,284 --> 00:29:09,056
"Is this person getting a full fist
inserted inside of him?"
740
00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:10,556
Did you say "fist" or "fish"?
741
00:29:10,581 --> 00:29:11,625
Either one!
742
00:29:11,739 --> 00:29:14,595
Well, I do like a finger.
It's very normal!
743
00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:15,961
Ha, all of a sudden,
744
00:29:15,986 --> 00:29:17,475
my O-face doesn't seem so bad.
745
00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:18,650
Oh, it is.
746
00:29:18,675 --> 00:29:20,062
Unh-unh, not as bad as that.
747
00:29:20,087 --> 00:29:21,947
- Oh, my God.
- Well, let's take a vote.
748
00:29:21,972 --> 00:29:23,277
Be honest, no ego.
749
00:29:23,302 --> 00:29:24,470
Whose is the worst?
750
00:29:25,041 --> 00:29:26,041
Oh!
751
00:29:26,066 --> 00:29:27,080
- Mine?
- Hey.
752
00:29:27,105 --> 00:29:28,200
What? Come on.
753
00:29:28,263 --> 00:29:29,306
Hey!
754
00:29:30,312 --> 00:29:33,174
I am already having a day,
and this is still going on?
755
00:29:33,199 --> 00:29:36,078
I am supposed to do a show
with her in 10 minutes.
756
00:29:36,103 --> 00:29:38,254
- The Spice Girls are waiting!
- What do you want me to do?
757
00:29:38,279 --> 00:29:40,411
Club her on the head
and carry her to stage?
758
00:29:40,436 --> 00:29:41,572
Her bones are hollow.
759
00:29:41,889 --> 00:29:44,342
- It's worth a shot.
- I tried, okay?
760
00:29:44,526 --> 00:29:46,881
It didn't work. Nothing worked.
761
00:29:46,906 --> 00:29:49,831
- What are you talking about?
- Today, the whole thing!
762
00:29:50,006 --> 00:29:52,137
I was trying to prove that I could...
763
00:29:52,162 --> 00:29:53,209
That I could...
764
00:29:53,765 --> 00:29:54,967
thrive here,
765
00:29:54,992 --> 00:29:56,873
but I should've just left it alone.
766
00:29:56,898 --> 00:29:58,840
Even though, in my defense,
767
00:29:58,865 --> 00:30:01,677
it was impossible for me to know
how Maggie would react.
768
00:30:01,702 --> 00:30:03,318
You put a person in a new situation,
769
00:30:03,343 --> 00:30:04,841
there is no telling what they'll...
770
00:30:08,501 --> 00:30:09,894
Whaaa...?
771
00:30:11,903 --> 00:30:13,271
Hey.
772
00:30:13,390 --> 00:30:14,919
I would love a whiskey sour.
773
00:30:14,944 --> 00:30:15,944
Do you have one?
774
00:30:16,715 --> 00:30:18,872
- Did you sleep with him?
- Um, yes.
775
00:30:18,897 --> 00:30:20,693
And you're ruining my post-coital glow.
776
00:30:21,060 --> 00:30:22,298
Hi. Erin.
777
00:30:22,323 --> 00:30:24,185
Her sister. Guess which one is older?
778
00:30:24,210 --> 00:30:26,349
All women look either 18 or 80 to me.
779
00:30:26,564 --> 00:30:28,565
- But you're both pretty.
- Ah, thank you.
780
00:30:28,590 --> 00:30:29,888
What the hell are you doing?
781
00:30:29,913 --> 00:30:32,583
You told me to go play, laugh, do.
782
00:30:32,608 --> 00:30:35,130
So I did. It. With him.
783
00:30:35,155 --> 00:30:37,099
Oh, my God, I'm ruining everything.
784
00:30:37,124 --> 00:30:38,294
The faire, your marriage.
785
00:30:38,319 --> 00:30:39,319
Oh, don't be a victim.
786
00:30:39,344 --> 00:30:41,607
- Yeah, not everything is about you.
- Exactly.
787
00:30:41,632 --> 00:30:43,357
- Your gay friend... I'm assuming?
- Correct.
788
00:30:43,382 --> 00:30:45,075
Is in the middle of a crisis.
I'm assuming?
789
00:30:45,100 --> 00:30:46,568
- How did you know?
- Your brows.
790
00:30:46,593 --> 00:30:48,083
They're lovely, but furrowed.
You got a...
791
00:30:48,108 --> 00:30:49,457
juicy little caterpillar up there.
792
00:30:49,482 --> 00:30:50,701
What's going on?
793
00:30:50,866 --> 00:30:52,350
His friend Maggie won't perform,
794
00:30:52,375 --> 00:30:54,646
so we either have to project
her hologram on the stage
795
00:30:54,671 --> 00:30:55,702
or I'm fired.
796
00:30:55,727 --> 00:30:57,514
Wait, Maggie, she's the Queen, right?
797
00:30:57,539 --> 00:30:59,025
Thin, flat feet,
looks like she killed a man?
798
00:30:59,050 --> 00:31:00,241
That's the one.
799
00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:02,772
Okay. Forensics debate, 2005.
800
00:31:02,797 --> 00:31:04,163
I tried out for the team thinking,
801
00:31:04,188 --> 00:31:05,842
you know, I could meet
a cute guy with glasses,
802
00:31:05,867 --> 00:31:07,718
but they all turned out
to be ugly with glasses.
803
00:31:07,743 --> 00:31:08,796
So I quit.
804
00:31:08,821 --> 00:31:10,943
Until my nemesis Jenny Doyle joined
805
00:31:10,968 --> 00:31:12,995
and took home a 3rd place
at New Rochelle.
806
00:31:13,020 --> 00:31:14,935
Next thing I know,
I am back on the team,
807
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,962
miserable, but determined
to be better than her
808
00:31:16,987 --> 00:31:18,162
or kill myself trying.
809
00:31:18,187 --> 00:31:19,546
We were bred to win.
810
00:31:20,249 --> 00:31:21,538
I don't know what you're talking about.
811
00:31:21,839 --> 00:31:23,188
You want your queen back?
812
00:31:23,427 --> 00:31:24,577
Be Jenny Doyle.
813
00:31:26,838 --> 00:31:28,741
Oh, most dear mistress.
814
00:31:29,095 --> 00:31:31,741
The sun will set before
I shall discharge
815
00:31:31,766 --> 00:31:33,985
what I must strive to do.
816
00:31:34,010 --> 00:31:35,475
If you'll sit down,
817
00:31:35,500 --> 00:31:36,718
I'll bear your logs the while.
818
00:31:36,743 --> 00:31:37,889
Pray, give me that.
819
00:31:37,914 --> 00:31:39,388
I'll carry it to the pile.
820
00:31:39,413 --> 00:31:40,967
No, precious creature!
821
00:31:40,992 --> 00:31:44,256
I had rather crack my sinews,
break my back,
822
00:31:44,281 --> 00:31:47,741
then you should such dishonor undergo,
823
00:31:47,766 --> 00:31:49,689
while I sit lazy by!
824
00:31:49,714 --> 00:31:50,764
Oh!
825
00:31:50,789 --> 00:31:52,132
Oh...!
826
00:32:03,751 --> 00:32:04,751
Let me go.
827
00:32:04,776 --> 00:32:06,127
I haven't gone all your safety briefing.
828
00:32:06,152 --> 00:32:08,176
I've flatlined before,
I'll survive this.
829
00:32:08,201 --> 00:32:09,471
- Ah!
- Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
830
00:32:13,238 --> 00:32:14,681
This is strange.
831
00:32:14,706 --> 00:32:17,119
Your father's in some passion
that works him...
832
00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:23,144
Stop!
833
00:32:25,628 --> 00:32:26,944
Get this off me.
834
00:32:26,969 --> 00:32:28,449
Show's over!
835
00:32:33,729 --> 00:32:34,925
Nice dismount.
836
00:32:34,950 --> 00:32:37,269
I heard the faint cries of your L5-S1.
837
00:32:37,294 --> 00:32:38,608
How could you do this to me?
838
00:32:38,917 --> 00:32:40,323
- Me?
- Yes.
839
00:32:40,348 --> 00:32:43,579
Performing "The Tempest"
with that... disrupter?
840
00:32:43,604 --> 00:32:45,136
I have never felt more betrayed.
841
00:32:45,161 --> 00:32:46,761
I had no choice.
842
00:32:46,826 --> 00:32:48,792
We had a whole show to do,
and you left me standing there
843
00:32:48,817 --> 00:32:50,272
with my apocrypha in my hand.
844
00:32:50,297 --> 00:32:51,733
I was proving a point!
845
00:32:51,776 --> 00:32:53,261
The faire is sacred.
846
00:32:53,286 --> 00:32:54,331
People come here
847
00:32:54,356 --> 00:32:55,886
for the history, the authenticity.
848
00:32:55,911 --> 00:32:57,409
If we lost that now, then what?
849
00:32:57,523 --> 00:32:59,498
Then we might as well be
gyrating on a cruise ship
850
00:32:59,523 --> 00:33:00,611
to a sea of Aunt Lindas.
851
00:33:00,636 --> 00:33:01,948
I don't like it, either.
852
00:33:03,534 --> 00:33:05,370
Then why didn't you have my back?
853
00:33:05,679 --> 00:33:07,261
I voted with you.
854
00:33:07,572 --> 00:33:08,837
But at some point,
855
00:33:08,862 --> 00:33:11,292
you have to acknowledge that if we
don't change the faire today,
856
00:33:11,317 --> 00:33:13,581
there may not be one at all tomorrow.
857
00:33:14,277 --> 00:33:16,089
I've been here since the beginning.
858
00:33:16,814 --> 00:33:18,448
This means something to me.
859
00:33:18,699 --> 00:33:20,729
The thing that sucks about compromise
860
00:33:21,011 --> 00:33:23,112
is that it forces you
outside of your safe zone,
861
00:33:23,137 --> 00:33:25,417
and once that happens,
whether you like it or not,
862
00:33:26,571 --> 00:33:28,921
you get a front-row seat
to all the ways in which
863
00:33:28,946 --> 00:33:32,034
you've cheated yourself
of new experiences.
864
00:33:40,869 --> 00:33:42,292
We can get through this.
865
00:33:43,086 --> 00:33:44,086
Together.
866
00:33:45,839 --> 00:33:47,214
I want to sleep at night
867
00:33:47,239 --> 00:33:49,347
knowing that I stuck to my values.
868
00:33:52,089 --> 00:33:53,944
Lots of "I's" and "my's."
869
00:33:57,488 --> 00:34:00,211
You're not gonna offer me one of
your Shakespearean lines of wisdom?
870
00:34:00,236 --> 00:34:01,354
Nope!
871
00:34:01,379 --> 00:34:03,651
I've got to go french a man in public.
872
00:34:10,964 --> 00:34:12,221
That's a short sword.
873
00:34:14,871 --> 00:34:17,308
Oh, well, let me be the judge.
874
00:34:21,223 --> 00:34:23,104
Oh! You!
875
00:34:23,588 --> 00:34:24,742
You!
876
00:34:24,767 --> 00:34:26,800
Oh, why haven't I seen you more often?
877
00:34:27,555 --> 00:34:29,784
Oh, no, really,
how is the faire treating you?
878
00:34:30,386 --> 00:34:31,386
Yes?
879
00:34:31,411 --> 00:34:32,896
Good, let me get you some flagons.
880
00:34:41,301 --> 00:34:45,044
I've been coming to the Royal
since quaaludes were in.
881
00:34:45,059 --> 00:34:46,486
This was a horror show.
882
00:34:46,511 --> 00:34:48,604
And the Queen was a no-show.
883
00:34:50,401 --> 00:34:51,667
Can you blame her?
884
00:34:51,692 --> 00:34:53,564
There were Ewoks at the joust.
885
00:34:53,768 --> 00:34:55,996
I applaud Her Majesty
for not attending today.
886
00:34:56,021 --> 00:34:57,073
It was beneath her.
887
00:34:57,246 --> 00:35:00,682
Still, what is a Renaissance
without our Queen?
888
00:35:01,658 --> 00:35:02,713
Whatever.
889
00:35:02,899 --> 00:35:04,026
Screw her!
890
00:35:17,391 --> 00:35:18,799
Okay, you two.
891
00:35:18,824 --> 00:35:19,999
Don't be mad.
892
00:35:21,448 --> 00:35:23,588
The decision was unanimous.
893
00:35:23,613 --> 00:35:27,352
Shart has the least offensive O-face.
894
00:35:27,377 --> 00:35:29,213
- You showed her?
- I had to!
895
00:35:29,238 --> 00:35:30,804
We needed an impartial judge,
896
00:35:30,829 --> 00:35:32,712
and she has the most
experience with nudity.
897
00:35:32,737 --> 00:35:34,080
God, dude!
898
00:35:34,557 --> 00:35:36,916
I mean, I'm flattered you picked me.
899
00:35:36,952 --> 00:35:38,527
It was the toes, right?
900
00:35:38,552 --> 00:35:41,344
Hold on, you said that
the pick was "unanimous"?
901
00:35:41,369 --> 00:35:42,477
Yeah. We all voted.
902
00:35:42,502 --> 00:35:44,922
- Oh, my God.
- What? I sent those videos only to you.
903
00:35:44,947 --> 00:35:46,164
Oh, and I respected your privacy,
904
00:35:46,189 --> 00:35:47,397
but I couldn't pick on my own.
905
00:35:47,422 --> 00:35:48,610
You were all so specific.
906
00:35:48,635 --> 00:35:51,031
So, I told Natasha,
and she sent them out.
907
00:35:51,056 --> 00:35:53,194
Although she did get
them from me originally.
908
00:35:53,219 --> 00:35:54,602
I think I have a problem.
909
00:35:55,177 --> 00:35:57,266
- Congratulations!
- Don't you leave!
910
00:36:03,416 --> 00:36:04,922
Just so you know...
911
00:36:05,557 --> 00:36:07,196
this doesn't feel like a win.
912
00:36:14,491 --> 00:36:16,796
Okay, we have to align our lies.
913
00:36:16,821 --> 00:36:18,617
We'll tell Joel that you
got crabs from the mattress,
914
00:36:18,642 --> 00:36:20,196
or if you get HPV,
915
00:36:20,497 --> 00:36:21,835
we'll say that it's airborne here.
916
00:36:21,869 --> 00:36:23,516
Don't worry, he won't care.
917
00:36:23,541 --> 00:36:24,616
I have a freebie.
918
00:36:24,741 --> 00:36:25,741
A what?
919
00:36:25,766 --> 00:36:26,953
A hall pass.
920
00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:28,922
For sex.
921
00:36:29,777 --> 00:36:31,110
Joel cheated.
922
00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:33,227
Oh, my God.
923
00:36:33,583 --> 00:36:34,583
Yeah.
924
00:36:34,608 --> 00:36:37,320
- With who?
- Oh, his mobile notary.
925
00:36:37,488 --> 00:36:39,156
- Her name is "Judee."
- Oh.
926
00:36:39,289 --> 00:36:40,992
- With two Es.
- Unh-unh.
927
00:36:41,017 --> 00:36:43,102
I almost killed him twice for that.
928
00:36:43,774 --> 00:36:45,633
Erin, I'm so sorry.
929
00:36:47,852 --> 00:36:50,109
So, that's why you came to visit?
930
00:36:50,134 --> 00:36:51,944
I was suspicious of you bringing a book.
931
00:36:51,969 --> 00:36:52,969
You don't read.
932
00:36:52,994 --> 00:36:55,218
Well, I got the gist from the flap.
933
00:36:55,890 --> 00:36:57,350
Why go through all of this?
934
00:36:57,375 --> 00:36:58,766
Why don't you just leave him?
935
00:36:59,258 --> 00:37:00,930
And throw away six years of marriage,
936
00:37:00,955 --> 00:37:02,141
happy-ish kids?
937
00:37:02,284 --> 00:37:04,461
I figured I'd get even and keep my life.
938
00:37:05,218 --> 00:37:06,935
I'll figure out the rest later.
939
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:10,406
Wow, that's very... modern of you.
940
00:37:12,298 --> 00:37:14,539
You know... I always thought
941
00:37:14,564 --> 00:37:17,103
it would be with John Cho,
frankly, but, um...
942
00:37:17,128 --> 00:37:19,715
Seriously, Leaf was amazing.
943
00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:21,992
- He has this curve...
- To the left.
944
00:37:22,017 --> 00:37:23,410
Yeah, I'm familiar.
945
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:24,820
Ew!
946
00:37:24,845 --> 00:37:26,328
You slept with him, too?!
947
00:37:26,353 --> 00:37:27,702
Why do you think I was so disturbed?
948
00:37:27,727 --> 00:37:28,727
Because, like, you thought I was,
949
00:37:28,752 --> 00:37:29,813
like, throwing away my marriage!
950
00:37:29,838 --> 00:37:31,683
Yes, and the fact that
we shared a penis!
951
00:37:31,708 --> 00:37:32,781
Ugh!
952
00:37:33,038 --> 00:37:34,425
Which I got to first.
953
00:37:34,450 --> 00:37:36,078
Okay, well now we're even,
954
00:37:36,103 --> 00:37:38,255
because I kissed that
guy in Costa Rica first.
955
00:37:41,945 --> 00:37:43,492
I'm so glad you came.
956
00:37:43,783 --> 00:37:45,547
- Twice.
- Ew.
957
00:37:47,292 --> 00:37:48,727
No!
958
00:37:48,752 --> 00:37:51,053
You look so stupid. Go away. Next!
959
00:37:52,406 --> 00:37:54,078
Gross. Fat ass.
960
00:37:55,254 --> 00:37:56,646
No!
961
00:37:56,671 --> 00:37:59,289
What are those?
Boobs on your head? Next!
962
00:37:59,364 --> 00:38:00,624
Oh, no!
963
00:38:00,649 --> 00:38:02,375
Colors. Vomit. Sick.
964
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:03,628
Barf all over you.
965
00:38:03,653 --> 00:38:04,758
Next!
966
00:38:05,281 --> 00:38:06,563
We still don't have a Queen,
967
00:38:06,588 --> 00:38:08,117
and this was the only way to keep her
968
00:38:08,142 --> 00:38:09,883
from hurting anybody with her sword.
969
00:38:09,908 --> 00:38:13,377
- Hmm.
- No! Nerd! Nerd! Nerd!
970
00:38:13,402 --> 00:38:14,844
Hey, call me.
971
00:38:14,869 --> 00:38:16,610
Just kidding, don't!
972
00:38:16,635 --> 00:38:17,635
Next!
973
00:38:18,922 --> 00:38:20,384
Oh, this again?
974
00:38:20,409 --> 00:38:21,866
I voted for you.
975
00:38:21,891 --> 00:38:23,550
Oh, God.
976
00:38:23,575 --> 00:38:24,734
That's...
977
00:38:25,027 --> 00:38:26,274
Ugh.
978
00:38:27,065 --> 00:38:28,602
Who did Shart's lighting?
979
00:38:28,627 --> 00:38:30,313
Because it was disgusting,
980
00:38:30,338 --> 00:38:33,570
but he did manage to
capture the golden hour.
981
00:38:33,595 --> 00:38:35,797
Uh, I don't want
to talk about any of it.
982
00:38:36,402 --> 00:38:38,141
Rest assured that
I will never be having sex
983
00:38:38,166 --> 00:38:39,515
in front of a mirror again.
984
00:38:39,540 --> 00:38:40,620
Okay. Cool.
985
00:38:40,645 --> 00:38:42,011
- Uh-huh.
- Good to know.
986
00:38:43,308 --> 00:38:44,651
You know, it wasn't that bad.
987
00:38:44,676 --> 00:38:46,323
Although I wouldn't want
to pass those traits on
988
00:38:46,348 --> 00:38:49,500
- to your sperm babies.
- I'm not having any sperm babies.
989
00:38:49,525 --> 00:38:50,970
- Those kind, anyway?
- Really?
990
00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:52,134
Unh-unh. Yeah.
991
00:38:52,159 --> 00:38:53,446
Stick borrowed money from Friar.
992
00:38:53,471 --> 00:38:55,712
We are making bank today to pay it back.
993
00:38:56,227 --> 00:38:57,664
Besides, I, uh...
994
00:38:57,689 --> 00:38:59,931
I realized that I kind of sort of want
995
00:38:59,956 --> 00:39:02,383
to start possibly picturing the future.
996
00:39:02,727 --> 00:39:04,064
What's that, do I hear?
997
00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,978
The pitter-patter of...
998
00:39:06,568 --> 00:39:08,134
hipster babies.
999
00:39:08,159 --> 00:39:09,681
Echelon and Latte.
1000
00:39:09,854 --> 00:39:11,079
The names go both ways.
1001
00:39:12,404 --> 00:39:14,536
No babies. Not yet.
1002
00:39:14,696 --> 00:39:17,181
Maybe never. Or maybe tomorrow.
1003
00:39:17,660 --> 00:39:19,220
Just keeping my options open.
1004
00:39:23,393 --> 00:39:25,540
You did hear me, by the way,
that we're making a killing?
1005
00:39:25,565 --> 00:39:27,009
The Spice Girls are cardiologists,
1006
00:39:27,034 --> 00:39:29,054
and they were very generous with tips.
1007
00:39:29,079 --> 00:39:30,079
Yeah.
1008
00:39:30,751 --> 00:39:31,759
Yeah.
1009
00:39:31,784 --> 00:39:33,368
Plus the zip line and the water orb guys
1010
00:39:33,393 --> 00:39:34,860
are, like, turning people away.
1011
00:39:35,290 --> 00:39:36,290
Uh-huh.
1012
00:39:37,954 --> 00:39:39,303
The girl I met six weeks ago
1013
00:39:39,328 --> 00:39:41,639
would be bragging till
the end of eternity about this.
1014
00:39:41,828 --> 00:39:44,078
That girl has left the faire.
1015
00:39:44,672 --> 00:39:46,102
This girl has a clipboard.
1016
00:39:46,127 --> 00:39:47,891
This girl needs to stop being so humble,
1017
00:39:47,916 --> 00:39:49,181
'cause it's annoying.
1018
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,017
You did this, Amanda.
1019
00:39:52,267 --> 00:39:53,315
Be proud.
1020
00:40:04,139 --> 00:40:05,139
Yeah.
1021
00:40:11,571 --> 00:40:13,429
A devil.
1022
00:40:14,524 --> 00:40:19,374
A born devil on whose nature,
nurture can never stick.
1023
00:40:19,982 --> 00:40:22,281
I will plague them all.
1024
00:40:23,097 --> 00:40:24,707
I will plague.
1025
00:40:24,732 --> 00:40:25,907
Them.
1026
00:40:25,932 --> 00:40:28,476
All!
1027
00:40:28,796 --> 00:40:31,593
Show me the magic!
1028
00:40:54,367 --> 00:40:57,767
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
69985
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