Original subtitles

Previously on Legends Of Tomorrow...

Hello.

Mallus wasn't the only prisoner to escape.

And now, there's magic.

Oh, my God!

An unknown number of dangerous magical beings

got spat out across the timeline and now must be sent to hell.

Going somewhere, Raymond?

You think it's Nora.

And if the Time Bureau finds her first,

she's gonna tell them you're the one who helped her escape.

Ma'am, your crown jewels are here.

There's absolutely no reason to worry.

All is in order.

Excellent.

I shall wear them out, so my people can adore their queen.

Yes, of course, ma'am.

And will you be waving from the north balcony or the south?

I was thinking something a little more intimate.

God save the queen

A fascist regime

They made you a moron

Potential H-bomb

Wow. Red beans and rice didn't miss Her Majesty.

Now I understand how Mr. Mix-a-Lot got his knighthood.

- Sir... Sir... - Sir... Sir...

Guys, guys. A little professionalism, please.

What kind of ripple effect are we really looking at here, Nate?

Okay. Right now, the Queen gets institutionalized,

the British monarchy fails, and England descends into chaos.

Anarchy in the U.K.

Which is weird, but paranormal?

Well, something freaky is definitely at the heart of this.

Our magic-tracking device detected a massive spike.

All right, then we got a live one.

Punk rock London. Nate, you ready?

Um...

Well, Ava asked me to stick around

and help launch the magic operations here.

We need to establish procedure, protocols, command structure...

So, desk job?

Nate Heywood, cubicle guy?

Sad little plant on his desk, really?

It's prestigious, Sara.

And then, when everything's up and running,

I come back to the Waverider.

Fine.

Cool kids are off to the jolly ol'.

Wow. This is very sleek.

Ah. Handles all your messaging and data, it keeps accurate time in any era,

and it counts your steps.

Which, to me, is a little overrated...

And it also contains the Air Totem.

Thanks, Ray. I love it.

Well, you are actually the one I should be thanking.

I feel like you're the only one I can talk to about this whole Nora thing.

Your secret's safe with me.

Doing bad things for good reasons is practically our mission statement.

Even Amaya did it.

Yeah, but, uh, this is kind of complicated.

The others can handle complicated.

Maybe.

- And then there were five. - Shorter bathroom lines.

Yeah, but no one to watch Patrick Swayze movies with.

Nate will be back soon. In the meantime,

we need to go back before the monarchy goes anarchy.

Never thought I'd get to meet the Queen.

Not gonna happen.

Too risky. And besides,

she's not the one setting off Ray's magicometer.

The Queen's favorite new band is The Smell.

The Smell?

Never heard of them, and I know of every

rubbish punk band there is in London.

That's because they didn't exist in this timeline.

Gideon.

The Queen's cheekyjig launched The Smell's rise to stardom.

They were known as much for their music

as for a series of improbable anti-establishment pranks.

All with a magical signature.

Okay, so we're looking for someone in the band.

We could be dealing with demonic possession,

mind control, illusion,

or maybe just a run-of-the-mill royal dementia.

Hold on a minute.

There's your magic man right there.

Obsessed with riches, given to mischief...

That Irishman there is a leprechaun.

So... So sorry. Are, are you being serious or racist?

- Both, love. - Why is the weasel running the show?

If you've got a problem with me, pie head, why don't you just say?

I got a problem with you.

I'm running it, and I say we need to get close to that band,

which shouldn't be a problem,

'cause everybody left on this ship is a punk.

Except for Haircut.

He hasn't broken a rule in his life.

Yep. Not a single rule.

The Hole. Cradle of punk rock

and the stickiest floor in the British Isles.

Sounds lovely. You kids have fun.

I'll have a bottle of hand sanitizer when you come back.

You gotta love that sound.

- What? - The music.

It's the dog's bollocks.

Sorry, I can't hear you over the terrible music.

We're The Smell, and you're a bunch of mingers.

And we'll be back up when we feel like it!

All right, guys. Here's our chance.

Somebody's got to slip backstage and get in with the bands.

Yeah, leave it to me. I used to play here with Mucous Membrane.

I know my way around. Besides, you're all bloody Yanks.

- Not you. - Why not?

I don't like him.

It's always Perfidious Albion, is it? Never trust a Brit?

Something like that.

Guys, really, we don't have time for this.

Somehow, Mr. Rory here hasn't realized

that if he's gonna play with fire, he's gonna get burned.

Don't...

Fight!

Clouds...

...like we're close together...

Oi! You lot.

Building castles in air

- Thanks for the lift, mate. - Get us out of here!

Come on! Go! Let's go!

Oh, let me out, I'm gonna puke.

Don't let the suit fool you. Our man is a punk.

He drove on the wrong side of the road

- the whole way here. - I did?

Nice.

See you around, mate.

All right, Sara. I found their hideout.

Heading back to the Waverider.

No, Ray. You are our guy on the inside.

Look, loud music makes my nose bleed.

I... I'm not a punk.

Well, you are now. You stay with that band.

Ray. Ray, are you there?

Aah. You're pressing the button too hard.

All right, yeah. It's my first time. Listen, mate.

There's an old trick for unmasking leprechauns.

You spill a bunch of grain in front of them on the floor,

and they're compelled to count every kernel.

Really? That sounds bizarre. That's not true.

- Is that true? - That's a stupid plan.

Have you got a better one, big man?

I don't do magic tricks.

Oh, great. So the plan is no plan. Is that you...

- Enough! Both of you. - You know what?

It is 1977 in London town. I'm gonna enjoy the sights.

Good luck with your magic problem.

Did you guys just make Constantine leave?

We'll get back to you, Ray.

- Not your finest work, bud. - He's gonna get us killed.

You just don't like guys with ties.

That's right. It's like a little flag hanging from someone's neck

saying, "I'm a liar."

Look, I'll have Zari follow him, all right?

But in the meantime,

you and I need to help Ray find this magical creature,

so we can send it to hell before this whole team falls apart.

- How's it going? - Good.

Great.

All right. This should be all of it.

These protocols were developed by Rip and myself over the last six years.

- I did the drawings. - Thank you, Gary.

So, your job is to just update

all of this for our new, uh, magical fugitives, okay?

You got it, boss.

And as we say at the Time Bureau, the adventure is in the details.

Have fun.

You okay?

Um...

I'm good. I'm good.

It's just... I know you guys do things differently here.

I just didn't know it was so protocol-centric.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Look, I know you're used to zooming around in a time machine...

- Mmm-hmm. - ...with all your best friends,

shooting from the hip and saving history.

- Always. - But, you know,

the Bureau's not all protocols.

I'm listening.

Come with.

Buckle up, Nate. It's Taco Monday.

Instead of Taco Tuesday?

Oh, we dare to defy.

- Whoa. - Taco delivery.

Are you Mr. Green?

Oh, name's Gary.

Mr. Green's in the conservatory with the lead pipe.

- Sorry. Bad joke. - No, that was great.

Um... Yeah.

My name is Mona, by the way.

Just kind of like Mona Lisa without the Lisa, so it's just Mona.

Cool.

Time Bureau. Ah. Is that what this place is?

You know, they just never tell us. What's a Time Bureau?

Uh... Um...

You know, like, daylight savings and time zones and stuff like that?

We're in charge of that.

- Okay, bye. - Bye.

It's actually just one...

- Uh-oh. - One per person.

Okay, bye.

Okay.

Shh. Got it. Yeah.

What, did we forgot something in the van?

No, I... Seeing as, um, I drove you guys and you didn't pay me,

Uh, I thought maybe I could hang out with you...

...blokes.

Down with the monarchy, right?

I didn't catch your name.

Rage.

- Rage? - Yep, Rage. That's what they call me.

On account of all my various rages, uh, against, um, the machine.

Oh.

I'd like to see some rage, Rage.

I'm Charlie. Come on in.

Ha.

Guys, do you remember our driver?

Well, he goes by the name Rage, because of his wicked rages.

Yeah? About what?

Oh.

Disco music, right?

The Queen, obviously.

Doing chores in a timely fashion.

- We hate disco too. - Yeah, hate disco. Hate it.

I had to move from New York just to get away from

tight trousers and platform shoes.

Do you know how hard it is to walk in those?

- All right. Let's hear a rage then. - Yeah, go on.

At this hour? No, I don't like to force them.

You know, just let them come naturally, but it'll happen.

What about you guys? You know, uh...

- What makes you tick? - We're The Smell.

We're a band. What more is there to say?

We're a bit more than that, Declan.

We're a movement.

We're gonna shock the system, wake up all the drones.

Yeah, present company included.

Oh. Oh!

Sorry, I got rice everywhere. Sorry. You see that, Declan?

What?

The rice... The grains of rice, they are everywhere.

I'm sorry if you feel the urge to have to pick up every single piece.

Mate, are you trying the leprechaun test on me?

You know how hurtful you're being right now? Deeply!

Declan's a bit touchy about being ginger.

- You're all right, Rage. - Well, Rage has got to leave.

We've got to plan Operation Mum's Bum.

Mum's Bum. Mum-Mum's Bum? Hey.

Sounds fun. I could get into that.

Oh, we could use a driver.

- Can we trust him? - There's only one way to find out.

So, that's the big highlight?

Eating tacos one day before the rest of America?

- Yeah. - Hmm.

Oh. Hey, there's a blip on the magicometer.

It's from the Pleistocene period.

Clear your schedule.

We've got a report to write.

Or, or, or...

Or we can handle this ourselves.

Without approval? That sounds dangerous.

You've got two, but I'm sort of down to my last nipple.

Gary, Ava hired me to optimize this department, okay,

and I can't do that waiting three days for approval.

And we could be time bros.

- What? - We could be time bros.

- Time bros? - Yeah.

- Me and you? - Mmm-hmm.

- Oh, but, um... - We could re-heat your tacos later.

- Okay. Yeah. - Yeah.

- This way. - Okay.

Okay. Here we are.

Uh... Where are we?

St James's Park, next to Buckingham Palace.

St James's Park, you say?

All right, Ray, we're listening.

The Queen's royal corgis are taking their afternoon constitutional.

You're gonna nab one of those little yippers

and bring him back to us.

Uh... We-we're not gonna hurt the dog, are we?

No, we're gonna hurt the Queen.

She treats her dogs to beef Wellington

while poor people are starving.

It's time to expose the hypocrisy.

Okay, yeah. No problem. Dogs love me.

Yes. Problem.

They're the Queen's dogs. They are gonna be guarded.

Question. Will the dogs be heavily guarded?

Well, that's your problem.

It's time to see how far you'll go.

If you've got a rage stored up, now is the time.

It's...

Ray, we can hear you gulping through the comms.

Do we really have to do this?

I mean, we know that Declan's not a leprechaun.

Well, your machine says one of them is magical,

so our job is to find them and get it gone.

You're gonna have to do this the old-fashioned way.

Corgi-napping?

Gaining their trust and betraying them.

We'll help you out with the corgis.

- QB or wet work? - QB.

Ray, Rory's gonna walk you through this one.

Easy-peasy lemon squeezy.

Oh. I see them.

Let's go, pups. Pup-and-at-'em, Sparky.

You see that bench in front of you?

- Yeah. - Sit on it.

Okay.

All right, Ray. I feel like I should do, uh, something like, uh...

- Maybe a distraction? - Just wait.

This would go a lot faster if you'd just do your thing, Gordon.

Can we just nick his van already?

That's why we're here, innit?

Give him a minute.

Mick, you were right. It's just the dog walker now.

Go and ask for the corgi.

Ah. Excuse me, sir.

I, uh... I don't know if this is royal etiquette,

but if it may please the Crown,

may I, uh, borrow one of those corgis?

Just take him.

Oh.

There are those famous British manners I've heard of.

Thank you.

Good choice.

Well, how long do you think the poor lad is gonna last in the clink?

Blimey.

My word! That young man's stolen a royal corgi!

He did it. He bloody did it.

Go on, roll up, Declan!

Go, go, go, go, go!

We start off the hour with an update of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's

beloved corgi, Sparky.

Reported missing earlier this afternoon,

he has finally been found behind bars

at the Southwest London animal rescue for dogs.

From the looks of it, the pooch has fallen in with a bad crowd.

Well, at least someone from Buckingham Palace

has glimpsed the real world.

Rage! Rage! Rage!

- To the table! - Oh! Snacks! I'm famished!

- It'll only hurt for a minute, love. - Hurt?

- A tattoo. - Yeah, we all have them.

Get them after our first prank.

It's a Smell tradition.

Once you get one, you're one of us, mate.

Oh, that needle's been sterilized, right?

See, Charlie, told ya. He's a narc.

No, he just doesn't get it.

This isn't a tattoo. It's a statement.

That ink says you won't swallow the crap they force down our throats.

Sometimes you have to do bad things for good reasons.

So what do you say? You in?

Yeah, I'm in.

Give me the tattoo.

Yeah.

Now that you're officially one of us, the corgi was just for a laugh.

We're gonna make the Queen hand over her precious jewels.

Yeah. Uh... Just one question. How?

Leave that part to me. I'll work my magic.

Another pint?

I'd love one.

You should probably have something in your stomach with this one.

Aren't you kind, looking after me?

I try my best.

Did he tell you he's a dark soul, cursed to walk the world alone?

Something like that.

I'll be right back.

Thanks, love.

How the bloody hell did you find me up here in Liverpool, eh?

Sara had me install a tracker in your comm.

Ah.

No one trusts old Johnny boy.

Can't say I blame you lot.

Yeah, she had a hunch

your baser instincts would pull you off-mission.

Ah, she'd be the one to bloody know, wouldn't she?

- Here you are, love. - Thanks.

Just give me a shout if you want a water.

Will do.

That brooding antihero crap must be a real panty-dropper. Huh?

You tell her you have four roommates and sleep on the couch?

No, I didn't.

She's my mum.

I'm really wishing I had not said "panty-dropper."

Yep.

Oh.

Feels so good to be back in the field.

Feel that cool Pleistocene breeze in our hair.

The only thing is I do feel a little naked without a clever costume on.

Oh, I'm sort off of costumes right now.

Oh, 'cause of your, uh, John Cosplay?

What's going on with you two anyway?

Well, he dropped me, which sucks.

I mean, you know.

Why would you say that?

Oh, there's no shame in it.

You know, I used to just think of you as Amaya's arm-candy,

so it's nice to know you're more than just the guy Amaya dumped.

She didn't dump me. We broke up to save the timeline.

Yeah, Constantine let me down easy too.

Said it was about the balance of good and evil.

Wait. Did she dump me?

Well, all I know is that she started a family with another guy, real fast.

You tell me. But, hey, hey.

You get back out there.

Meet some new people, change up your scenery a bit...

- Hide. - Hide if it heals your heart better.

Shut up. Hide!

- Quitting time. - Yo, shut that off.

You're gonna get us killed.

If we don't get back to the office, Director Sharpe is gonna kill us.

She hates overtime.

- You're kidding. - No!

- On three. - Yes.

- One, two... - One, two...

- Three. Go. - Uh...

Gary, go on!

Psst. It's me, Ray. Look straight ahead.

Talk straight into your newspaper.

No one will suspect a thing.

What do you got on them?

Gilly loves monkeys,

Ian's first language was Yiddish,

and Declan, his nose crinkles when he smiles.

- It's actually pretty cute. - I don't want to date them, Haircut,

just tell me which one I'll have to off.

Well, it appears that Charlie is our "myth-ery"

or fugitive.

Good.

We'll nab her and send her to hell.

Hell? What...

Look, all she's guilty of is questionable hygiene,

playing bad music, and pulling a couple pranks.

We started this mess, we gotta take care of it.

All right, well...

Just give me some time to figure out

what her powers are before we move on her.

You've got until the weasel gets back.

What the hell is that on your arm?

It's my tattoo.

It's a corgi with a mohawk.

You've lost it, Haircut.

Finally lost it.

It's Rage, mate.

Were you and your mom close?

Just met her 20 minutes ago.

Died in childbirth.

Two for two. Sorry.

My dad used to call me "Killer."

Never let me forget what I did.

- Hmm. Father of the year. - Mmm.

You wouldn't guess that to look at him, would you?

You didn't just happen to run into your parents, did you?

I've ruined a lot of lives,

and that bastard's just the first one to call me out on it.

Listen, if you're going to wallow in self-pity,

the Waverider's got a lot of rooms for that.

I'm partial to the kitchen myself.

Oh, I'm not here to wallow, love.

I'm here to fix it.

I'm gonna give him the old Manchester Mengele.

- What? - Back-alley vasectomy.

"Back-alley..."

No, John, you can't!

What happened?

Ball-kick paradox.

You can't kick your own dad in the junk

because you'd erase yourself from the timeline,

which means there would be no one to kick your dad in the junk.

Bloody hell, I can't.

Toss off, you legless wanker.

Tommy. Tommy, are you all right?

Get the hell out of my pub!

I never wanna see your face again.

You won't.

Another cracking Constantine family reunion.

Look, I get it.

There's a lot of things I wish I could change.

But you can't mess with your past.

Time Travel 101.

It's not just my mum.

There are others I've hurt.

My past

is coming for me.

What do you mean?

You know what? Forget it!

Ray will be needing us now, won't he?

Hello, punk friends. Anyone seen Charlie?

We know what you've been up to.

You do? Of course you do. I'm a terrible liar.

Shut it, Rage.

If that is your real name, which I'm pretty sure it's not.

You said you left New York to escape the disco scene.

Then explain this.

"Mystery disco band leaves the audience saying,

"'Thank you for the music."'

Can you even name a punk song?

Well, I...

I told you idiots we couldn't trust him. He's a narc.

Yeah, a disco narc.

Look, can we just talk about this calmly?

Calmly?

Is this Rage chap ever gonna have a rage or not?

I think we should glue sequins all over him,

and string him up like a disco ball at the Roxy.

Shut it!

Listen to yourselves.

You lot sound like brainwashed pigs.

So what? The bloke fancies a bit of disco.

Gilly used to be a nun.

Ian was a mime.

I've done a stint in the lockup.

Declan's not even Irish.

I thought it sounded more street.

We've all got a past.

And it is just that, a past.

I don't care who you were before.

Whoever you wanna be now, that's what matters.

Did you put butter in the coffee machine again, Gary?

- Yes. - Hey, Ava.

Oh.

Hey, happy Tuesday.

- How was your evening? - Actually, it was nice.

What about you?

You ready to get back out there?

Gary told me you guys wrapped up yesterday's mission without a hitch.

I am very impressed.

I look forward to reading your report.

Good job.

We wrapped it up?

It wrapped itself up.

The blip is gone.

What do you mean it's gone?

Don't overthink it, Nate. Take the win.

Oh. I got you something to commemorate our first

mission together as time bros.

It's an exotic plant to spruce up your work space.

Looks good.

Mixtape. If you're gonna be in the band,

you should be able to at least name one punk song.

Cool. Thank you.

And thank you for, uh, earlier.

Oh, sometimes the others think they're the damn punk police.

I have to tell you something.

My name is not really Rage. In fact, it's nothing anger related.

It's Just Ray.

- Just Ray? - Yeah.

I like that.

So, Just Ray,

what happened to your old crew?

Well, Sara met a special someone and they are trying to make it work.

- That will kill a band. - Mmm.

My best friend, Nate, he, uh, has a desk job.

And Amaya, well, she's gone.

And I actually really miss her.

She was kind of our moral compass.

Helped us do the right thing

when it wasn't always easy to do the right thing.

I never knew disco could get so barmy.

Well, I guess the way we did it,

yeah, it did get pretty barmy.

So, uh...

How long were you locked up?

Long enough to know I ain't ever going back.

What happened?

Small-minded people got scared.

Turned to law and order to make themselves feel big.

Prison seems extreme for a little bit of mischief.

I wasn't sent away for stealing corgis.

Are you sure you can handle the truth, Just Ray?

Yeah, try me.

Whoa.

- This doesn't freak you out? - No.

Such rapid molecular transformation is,

to quote an old friend, astonishing.

How do you choose who to be when you can be anybody?

Just saw this mug on a toothpaste ad on the Tube.

I liked her smile.

Huh.

Wow.

Must be strange to completely change.

It is.

That's why I have to hold tight to what I believe.

Strong drinks, loud music, and screwing the system.

Otherwise I'd lose myself.

You're a pretty cool lady.

Or man. Or whatever you wanna be.

I wish the humans who threw me in the slammer felt that way.

They just saw a magical creature and panicked.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, don't be.

You're one of the good ones, Just Ray.

Sara, I figured it out.

All right, Ray, what are we dealing with?

She's a shapeshifter.

She doesn't kidnap the Queen, she becomes the Queen.

- I knew it. - He definitely said leprechaun.

So I have an idea.

What if I just ask her to stop impersonating the Queen?

History goes back to the way it was,

and we don't have to send her to hell.

Ray, so far we've learned that

unicorns are homicidal maniacs and fairy godmothers are psychopaths.

And they're supposed to be the nice ones.

And these shapeshifting bastards,

they put the rest to shame. We're talking killing sprees,

world wars, you name it.

Yeah, but she's not doing any of that.

She's manipulating you. Don't fall for it, mate.

Too late. He's got a tattoo.

Oh, please let it be a tramp stamp.

She's not hurting anyone.

Sit tight, Haircut. We'll, uh, work this out.

Thank you, Mick. Maybe we could...

He's in too deep.

For once, I agree with you.

Ray has no bloody idea what he's dealing with.

Ray has been doing this a long time.

He can handle himself.

Sara, if this thing gets loose, there is no stopping it. Trust me.

Zari, what do you think? Has the shapeshifter gotten to Ray?

Yeah.

All right, then. Squad save the Queen.

That's not the plan.

- Do you trust me? - Of course.

- You are my friend. - We gotta go.

What? Why?

Because my friends don't trust me.

Ray, we just wanna talk.

So your disco mates think I'll come quietly.

Who are you, really?

Look, Declan was right. I am a narc. I'm a magic narc.

I was sent here to capture you and take you in, but...

- You ain't sending me back to prison. - I'm not gonna do it.

Haircut!

Then what are you gonna do?

You told me that you wanted to shock people and wake them up.

That's what I'm gonna do to my own team.

You asked me who I really am?

I'm a punk.

Come on, Ray, open the door.

Or we burn it down.

Ah, lunch is here. Yes!

Hey, I have an idea for you guys.

- Who guys? - You guys, the Time Bureau.

Oh.

Sorry, that was supposed to be top secret.

No worries, because I was thinking,

you know how time zones go up and down?

Well, what about sideways?

Sideways time zones?

Huh? Like across?

So you wouldn't have to change your clock

- when you took a solo... - ...road trip across America!

- That's genius. - Thanks.

What is happening?

Sorry I have to do this.

And have a nice day.

Okay, you got a sandwich.

I got a sandwich.

Pro tip. Bureau pays for lunch,

so make sure you eat enough so you're not hungry again

until tomorrow.

You really do know all the boring tricks.

I can see you're in a funk. Is this still about Amaya?

Lay it on the Gare Bear.

It's okay to cry. In fact...

It's encouraged.

Gary, where did you get that plant?

It's from our first mission together.

I wanted it to have a special meaning for us.

Gary.

- Gary, it's magical. - It is?

Gary, stapler!

Today, we ride!

Yah!

Oh, no sign of Ray or the creature, Captain.

Sara?

- Sara? - Mmm.

Maybe you should have put a tracker in her comm.

What the hell, Ray?

Come on.

Sara, Charlie decked me.

Oh, no.

No.

Sara. Sara.

Mick.

Oh, no.

Stop!

Don't hurt my friends.

Your friends?

- Or drones? - No, they're better than that.

I'm not taking the chance.

No way I'm going back to prison.

A.T.O.M. suit, disassemble.

Dr. Palmer voice authenticated.

- Guess you're a drone too. - That's enough. Zari.

Great. Now let's send this beast to hell.

Hell?

- What the hell? - Guys, come on, look.

Let's think about this, all right? She is not evil.

She stole your suit and tried to kill us, Ray.

That's the ballsiest thing you've ever done, Haircut.

She's only doing what any one of you would have done if you were cornered.

We let her out. This is on us.

The portal is open. Send the monster through.

I'll show you what a real monster looks like.

Like this.

Like someone who would rather do what's easy,

than figure out what's right.

Someone who would send an innocent to hell.

Don't fall for its bloody parlor tricks.

Ray said your team's moral compass is missing.

Can you send her to hell?

Zari, you are too smart to fall for this bloody creature.

Now send it through. I can't keep the portal open forever.

No, I can't, I can't do it.

All right, we're gonna figure this out on the ship.

Fine, but I'm not letting a shapeshifter on the bloody ship.

What did you do to me, you ass?

It's a lobotomy of sorts.

Your shapeshifting days are over, sweetheart.

No!

Come on, you cowards!

Bring it on! Come on down here!

You can't just leave her locked in there forever.

You are on thin ice in terms of what we can and cannot do.

Those punks were a bad influence on you.

Oh, well, maybe you just don't know as much about me as you think you do.

You were an Eagle Scout, former CEO of Palmer Tech.

Your favorite musical is Singin' in the Rain.

You're allergic to cats and Grodd.

And you were knighted by Queen Guinevere,

Sir Raymond of the Palms.

- Okay, so you know a lot. - Yeah.

But you don't know that I was the man

who helped Nora Darhk escape the Time Bureau.

You what?

She's not gonna sleep with you, Haircut.

That is not why I did it.

I just... I believe she can be a better person.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she's a terrible, horrible monster,

but I believe she should be given the chance to find out.

Everyone else on this ship has been given a second chance.

Why doesn't she get one?

Look, you better not be wrong about her.

But right now, we need to deal with our current captive.

She cannot stay on this ship.

Yeah, especially not with Amaya's face.

It's freaking creepy.

You broke her, you fix her, weasel.

Make her not Amaya again.

Spell doesn't work like that, Womble.

I took away her power to transform.

It's like clipping an angel's wings. You can't exactly unclip them.

Whoo!

That was one surprisingly strong little plant.

Surprisingly full of goo.

I like what you've done with the place.

Sort of a Little Office of Horrors theme.

Nate showed the plant who's boss, Captain Lance.

- Oh, yeah? - Although the plant did get in

- a lot of punches... - Okay, Gar-Gar.

All right, let's leave a little something to the imagination.

Speaking of, you should probably change your shirt

before Ava gets back. I can see where your nipple was.

And the handshake.

Oh.

You already found a new time bro.

He's growing on me.

Okay, but really, when are you coming back to the ship?

There's a situation that I could really use your input on.

When I took this job at the Time Bureau,

I thought I was doing it for my dad or even maybe

a little bit for Ava, but, um, the truth is

I was trying to avoid the Waverider.

Why?

Because every room I went into on that ship,

I was hoping she'd be there.

- Amaya? - Yeah.

But I'm over it.

Amaya is no longer on the Waverider.

That's it.

I'm sorry. You wanted to talk about something.

Um...

No. It can... It'll wait.

Maybe a little Bureau time is exactly what you need.

So I think you should stay here,

because I like to watch you grow.

- Mmm. Thank you, Sara. - Yeah.

Hi.

Uh, wow...

So, enough chit-chat.

Dinner? Drinks?

- Should we just get straight to it? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What did I say about professional boundaries?

Sorry.

I mean, look at this place.

Can you please tell me

how do you keep five Legends on a leash at once?

Very loosely.

Because sometimes we pull you in the right direction.

Hey, you got a minute?

I just wanted to say, about the pub...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, if you're here to have some weepy heart-to-heart

end-of-the-mission hug fest

where you tell me that my problems are your problems and that

happiness is just one friend away, and all that bollocks,

don't bother, yeah.

Hey, you don't know me.

I wouldn't do that. That would be lame.

Yeah, it would.

So, why are you here?

I wanted to give you

this surveillance photo I took of you and your mom.

Thank you.

You know, for not doing any of that stuff.

Yeah, anytime.

Yeah.

I hate cops.

I am well aware of that, Mick.

Well, today we nearly became cops.

Yeah, but we didn't.

No. Thanks to you.

- Rage. - Aw. Thanks, Mick.

All right, are you two plonkers

just gonna stand there and stare at me?

Or is one of you gonna pour me a bloody pint?

She definitely isn't Amaya.

Bah!

No, but I do like her.