Original subtitles

[Music]

she was wearing nothing

underneath she was wearing nothing

underneath stop I moved my eyes slowly

deliberately up her long black legs

across her flat glistening torso over

her rounded breast to her face stop it

wasn't beautiful but it was lived in

stop I chewed her ear and whispered

kitten stop black thoughts were

transmitted stop I put my hand on

her I slammed my fist into his face as

hard as I could stop there was the sound

of crunching bones stop

blood spattered everywhere like a burst

water M stop I smashed my knee into

his I took the whip from the wall and

cracked it across his back stop to my

amazement comma he squealed with delight

everyone walking this Earth has a secret

closet he'd rather left closed

stop his face was like a crushed red

pepper stop no wonder my fist throbbed

sto and that wasn't all that throbbed I

had just opened one of those little

closets without knocking and stood

staring in stop I cracked the whip again

stop this time across

his I kissed her lightly on the cheek

and slipped quietly from the room stop

end of paragraph chapter 13 outside I

held a camp sto it's time screeched on

the hot Tower Mech as he drew out stop

take me to the Asylum I said the driver

laughed the taxi pulled

[Music]

away

better

Al

[Music]

[Music]

the day started quietly enough then I

got out of bed that was my first mistake

my second was to try and get from here

to

here that's how it all began that

Bizarre Adventure which put five people

in the cemetery and ruled me out as a

customer for laxatives at the time I was

living abroad I was already a writer

having 3 years before left London and a

lucrative job as a funeral

director it was the family business of

my wife whom I deserted together with my

three children handling stiffs was

hardly the life of someone with a

burning creative

[Music]

urge so I elbowed the loved

ones um I left some tapes here for

transcription the name is King in

English

preferably please you

wait the writer's life would be ideal

but for the writing that was a problem I

had to overcome then I read in the

Guinness Book of Records about Earl

Stanley Gardner the world's fastest

novelist who can dictate up to the rate

of 10,000 words a day that was for me

none of that romantic stuff with a

typewriter I had better uses for those

two particular

fingers my full name is Chester Thomas

King although most people call me Mickey

for reasons I won't go

into you may have read some of my early

works not that you'd know them my

publisher didn't see Chester Thomas King

as the name of a best-selling author he

preferred such authors as guy strange

Gary Ruff Dan wild and Les

bean I was all those and others I was

co-authors Susan eager and Paul S cuming

the newly discovered Indian writer Dr o

r Gan spelled with two NS and the

struggling Nigerian author S odomy with

the emphasis on the

o none of them exactly made book of the

month

club Mr K yes could I have a word with

you

yes please take a

seat cigarette no thank

you our work here is mainly technical

specifications insurance and shipping

documents company reports and legal

contracts your manuscript took my staff

rather by

surprise they finished it though of

course of

course may I ask who normally types your

work my mother your mother yes she

prefers it to knitting listen

if you don't want my custom you just

have to say so what I read I personally

found very

stimulating and your staff too

stimulating but they have not taste for

such

things my private address if I can ever

be of

assistance thank

you

are your books in any way

autobiographical totally what exciting

life you must have had even better than

Frank haris oh Frank was a novice you

have my card don't hesitate to touch

me

yes I remember that day all right around

noon I collected the manuscript of my

latest novel the organ

grinder looking back I should have

realized something was up a man had been

tailing me for over 2 weeks and I knew

it I thought my my wife must have

employed a private

dick I did ask him but he got upset he

was too big to upset twice so I tried to

ignore him which in this case was

difficult oh

h

later I was to find out who he was that

tame gorilla who followed me

everywhere I rode a cab round to my

publisher Milos marovich a Greco

Albanian born in Budapest whose talent

for writing book covers is such that

even the author doesn't recognize his

own work

sylvana get this down marovic was

respons ible for all the aggravation

that was about to hit me

Hollywood an empire in

Decay comma ruled by a twisted Emperor

comma and the desires and tensions a

strange girl whose secret became big

screen technical nightmare new

paragraph Sam necta was his name an

unknown orental girl was his

obsession Sam cast her as a negro slave

only to find himself as a slave to her

desire new paragraph what the critic

[Music]

said

Pence exciting enjoyable time literary

supplement the office attracted leading

writers from all over Europe marovich

never quite understood why nor did he

care very much his life was dominated by

one driving force a weak

bladder

Sor

marovic I didn't get all the quotes down

later

later

open you son of a [ __ ] open why is this

door always

sticking oh Jesus I'm

bursting oh

God I beseech you one last favor open

this

door thank

you

why why why have you deserted me you

want to hear my confession honey what

have I done

wrong my name is Denio I got an

appointment take a seat please I'll

kneel Show Me A Sign

[Music]

Lord knock and it shall be opened unto

you

King of

Kings or was it St

[Music]

[Applause]

Matthew how old is this man he saids he

62 he'll really be 65 next time mhm and

you want to publish on his birthday

correct

blue when in like it had eyes his name

was Ben Deno it was the nicest thing

about him he said he handled public

relations for an important man who

wanted me to write his life story

trouble was he couldn't tell us who

although he stated categorically that it

wasn't Howard Hughes why me he likes

your sty fellow read all your books Kill

Me Gently my gun is long the knee

trembler

all he knows I've never ghosted anyone's

life

story so start now besides a Sagittarius

which is just great how do you know

that I know everything about you from

your wife's made name to your inside leg

measurement we don't take no

risks encouraging we flattered green

what a shot I'm a pistol ain't

[Music]

I what's going on out

there what sign say for Law and Order

vote Prince Chipola and the new front

party

are those characters for real yes Jesus

weet they don't look so new to me

yellow I'm all for La order you for La

order me their's or

mine I still don't

see why you want

me it's simple you're elected the old

man's getting ready for the big sleep

excuse me certainly it's the first store

of the right it's SM tolet

BR he's headed for the last Roundup and

he wants something to be remembered

by a death rattle in paper Bank eh he's

got more stories in the Bible crazy

stuff all you got to do write it down

block

St

[Music]

oh I think that's absolutely marvelous

great stay out of it

okay okay

take hold it that's

[Music]

great thank you ladies thanks a lot I

appreciate your

kindness just win deer

come on you beautiful

thing how are things down there at the

[Music]

officer Pinko he's American

indelibly he's a famous ah so white like

sink what are you D guys worrying about

you got nothing to lose you get that

month's vacation in this Villa a cash

advance and a fat fee you get the

publishing course plus a slice of the

profits black what's my fat

fee correction for fat fee read blood

money what a play

Mickey 2 days later I was traveling

south Destination Unknown Deno was so

full of the James Bond crap it had to be

a private jet Bound for Miami and a

mysterious Hostess to loosen my safety

belt did I have a wrong

[Applause]

number a 5-day package tour and for me a

personalized mystery

trip that freak Theo had come up with a

new idea of Hell My instructions had

said that someone would contact me along

the way I looked the passengers over for

a possible contact

man hello little Bella hello a bunch of

balloons not a dirty thought between

them that would have been too much the

immovably chased girl said over my My

Dead Body he took her at her

[Applause]

[Music]

word don't spend another night

alone send for the Fantastic date

maker it's the greatest device for

getting intimate with girls you have

long

admired come on look at

me you are beautiful I want you alone on

a low coach to China

my God she's trying to meet

[Music]

[Applause]

me Denio had a lousy sense of humor I

tipped my seat back and waited for the

tap on the

[Applause]

[Music]

shoulder

[Music]

ladies and gentlemen we will be arriving

at our hotel in about 5 minutes as we

climb the Steep Road you will have a

magnificent view of the city on your

right hand side of the

coach

soror mind if I use that

contact was made as we neared our first

stopover he identified himself with one

of my books a nice touch that and good

for my

royalties

your

English right through

yes on

vacation uh sort of a working

holiday

uh what do you

do I

right

oh what's your

right

Mr King King check Miller

what

what what do you

write uh gangster

fiction uh pulp would be less pompous

and more

accurate you're talking to an

addict I practically eat them they'd

given the job to a screw ball all that

Reading had gone to his stomach he was

constipated with pulp and now it was

coming out all over me Ross

McDonald you've read Ross

McDonald not since mother

died the best I

think what books have we

read how that

my gun is long you're

kidding you WR

that yes I am the real guy

strange that's very good oh you have

great taste Mr

Miller sensual

brutal Mr strange provides us with the

devil's dictionary of our secret visions

and

desires it's dedic ated to my

wife you put yourself down shouldn't do

that you've got a good hero here in uh

Brad Mason mhm I mean here's a man who

clearly sees the animal in himself and

he's not ashamed why don't we cut the

crap and talk

straight your plot line is thin oh it is

is

it relies too much on coincidence oh it

it does huh puts your story beyond the

bounds of

believability

well how about this for

believability I know all about you Mr

Miller

CH it was like I had hosis and that made

me mad okay so I jumped the gun and

spoiled his game that was no reason for

acting like a big girl I made up my mind

that if Miller didn't get over his

menopause by morning I'd quit the job

things started happening sooner than

[Music]

that

[Music]

thank but come

tell

thank you while the armchair adventurers

were packed away in their rooms I sat in

the bar thinking what kind of nut was it

that wanted me to write his life story a

Mafia Boss on the run a defro priest

Adolf

Hitler I still didn't understand all the

secrecy as fiction it was a guaranteed

rejection

slip

[Music]

K room

313 have you got the key sir no oh it's

uh probably in the lock the boy will

show you up

Point room

313

for

what are you doing

here I hope you don't snore

Miller

ah you're supposed to be in

213 they brought me in here that's okay

I'll take your

room I have to watch my image but just a

minute this shouldn't have happened at

all I bet you say that to all the boys

you like a

[Music]

drink I took dinner early it was part of

the package and free I was wearing my

royal blue three-piece suit with light

blue shirt tie and matching handkerchief

black moccasins Mau nylon socks and a

fresh pair of jockey pants in case of

assassination thank you I'd bathed and

shaved and taken a dry martini in the

bar I was to need

it a tomato

salad a spaghetti with

butter no sauce

There spinach with two

eggs you a

vegetarian I'll have a plate of C again

just

butter H give me a bottle of mineral

water you a

vegetarian yes why is that I don't like

the killing of

animals we are from

Texas what about

fish

occasionally see I told you they're all

alike we are from Texas we have

course of course you

are

eggs yes

cheese they're all organic matter

contrarywise continued treel D if it was

so it might be if it were so it would be

but as it isn't it ain't that's Logic

the words of Louis Carell my dear

lady but I'll put it more

succinctly piss

[Music]

off

Bing Mr

King Miller didn't show at feeding time

I wanted to see him again we were due

for another talk the page boy was right

on Q thank you Miller wanted to see me

in room 313 it was the long arm of

[Music]

coincidence

Miller

M come on be water

Lu

hey

I thought it was red bath salts at

first then I knew he'd get his picture

in the paper he'd be

knifed

Jack Francis Miller Senior lecturer in

English Berkeley

University I was dumb enough to wonder

what he was doing as my contact man the

answer was he

wasn't I wondered who he was the poor

dead

bastard why had he panicked on the bus

when I put the finger on him I was in

for a

surprise

the guy was a [ __ ] a

transvesti that explained his panic but

not his

death an ugly thought made my Waters

curdle that should have been me in there

having a

bath

[Music]

[Music]

hallelu

Miller was my standing with

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

death morning it was election day so the

musac at breakfast was was a little

unusual I ordered tomato juice then

cancelled out of respect for the dead I

didn't fancy a bath either I expected

the place to be moving with police like

maggots in a right cam bear not one not

a cop tracker dog or bandage mechanic

not a reporter photographer or

Clairvoyant in sight that didn't figure

further off from England the nearer it

is to France then turn not pale beloved

snail but come and join the

D can you walk a little

faster said the

Whiting to the

snail there's a porpus close behind me

and he's treading on my tail I've read

it 117

times Alison Wonderland 117 times

starting again

tomorrow yes

well you've picked the right tour for

it begin at the beginning the king said

Gravely go on to the end then

stop they should have found him by now

of course Miller may have asked for a

late

call very late Judgment Day I Left the

Mad Hatter and decided to take a trip

down memory lane past room

313 my mouth went dry the door was open

and the room cleaned

out

hello the corpse had checked out

hello inspector clo in

drag the man who was

here where is

he yes that's what I thought

okay

gry yes Mr King Mr Miller room

313 I'm afraid he left early this

morning you sure he had to go back to

America

suddenly did you actually see him leave

yourself

yes thank

you

curiouser and

curiouser

1,373 Mr balm

Moren Miller was dead and now gone

checked into the hotel

Paradiso but we weren't the Killer and I

we were were still Earth Travelers

probably sharing the same lousy bus the

guy was no dum dum it wouldn't be long

before he knew he'd got the wrong man

this story was like some pornographic

photograph difficult to work out who was

doing what and to whom I was still

trying when we reached the temples of

zun and the gods was angry anyways and

besides they send a thunderbolt to the

city of uh sin now uh some personages

now nowaday would call that punishment

or smelly Revenge depending on your

point of view or state of mind but it

was a warning to such personages to stop

bad ways of having fun and to clean

themselves up it was a very big warning

all people's still in bed when the

Thunderbolt blow out of the sky many

still drunk with the seual portion they

do not know what hit them in the museum

you will see a plaster cast of people in

very interesting death position are the

the poet Memphis described as the

greatest coming since Zeus fell upon his

wife and then the city sink into the

sea follow me please out this way and

over

there

what do you think of zong's Temple Mr

King how do you know my name Deno is

waiting my bags are in the coach not

anymore very City for a Ghost Rider oh

you're so kind people so the contact man

was a girl it was the first time I'd

fancied Robin Hood which wasn't healthy

that made me think of Miller

again I'm so glad we bought you we you

haven't met Preston yet Preston he's my

sugar daddy and you have a very sweet

tooth

eh the

sweetest her mouth was wet and warm she

moved against me a Perfect Fit I could

feel the fire in her loins it was warm

scolding warm and wanting to be faned

her tongue went deep it was alive and

wet and very shocking I had visions of

refueling in space come on come in here

I've got more things to show you here

there aren't many important

things come follow

me follow

me

Behind These doors there is many things

that they are not to the eye of ladies

or

children the people of Z have made rud

things on these

walls things haven't changed very much

in 2,000 years so which brings us back

to Sugar

Daddy who is

he Preston

Gilbert Preston

Gilbert is he still

alive

[Music]

Mario

Mario I'm

[Music]

done Mario you got to sleep again you

bastard I'm getting barbue shoot in

here so you're his third cousin

removed I was itching around Europe and

he gave me a li I'm sure he did it's not

like that I feel sorry for him he's an

old man with an old bank account he was

on top a long time now he misses the

excitement the parties and the bre

lights all that

[ __ ] he keeps me like his

cester so you tickle his funny

B tell me how long ago was it that he

left

Hollywood about

um 15 years

ago just a

minute I'm getting some very bad

vibrations wasn't there talk of Mafia

connections

talk correct me if I'm wrong but didn't

his roles on and off screen get slightly

confused but that happens to all act but

with one big

difference he always played the same

role don't you s me a

burn when I holl Mario Mario that is

your name you understand it remember

that's your name and keep that thing on

so that you can hear me and that other

than stuck in your ear I'm not paying

your good money I'm sorry boss don't I'm

sorry boss till I finish I'm not paying

your good money for you to sit on your

big fat ass and go to sleep and don't

stand so close to me I told you never to

stand close to me now go on and get in

here I'm going to sweat you down the

side Buster go on and get in there

that's right get in there and stay in

there you'll see this when you come out

of there you'll be this

strong

why didn't Gilbert get me on the phone

instead of all this mystery to a crap he

enjoys playing life-size

chess fil the pictures from Temple of

zor he's a two bit blown out film star

not God don't lose your cool Ghost Rider

just think of all the bread you're

making are these really on the walls in

there see seor the league of decency

would have loved this Place sex wasn't

dirty

then you want you want seor no no no no

I'm too young besides these fellas give

me an inferiority

complex I meant what I said about

Gilbert Miller was too dead to agree

with me but I'm sure he would have done

who's Miller oh just a man who was

knifed in my room last

night well what's that got to do with

Preston I'll tell you when I found out

bodies belong in the Mory not in my

B but you shouldn't be surprised darling

after all you're the Ghost Rider what's

this then the family

Runabout never use that word Mickey what

word family nice to see you

H okay Tony take us for a

[Music]

ride besides Preston

Gilbert big man I was supposed to tell

him I was getting in deep very deep

things were moving too fast to bail

out I've been with Preston for 32 years

I started with him as a gopher there

goph for coffee goph for this goph for

that after 9 years he made me a partner

Gilbert was one of the screens Immortal

Mobsters hero woried and imitated around

the world the way he talked and acted

beating up the big boys manhandling the

women appealed to audiences

everywhere his father was a nothing a

real nothing A small time gunzel butched

his first contract and disappeared when

Preston was three personally I think he

wound up as an aut

F that made me feel nervous inside most

men there's a tough guy trying to get

out a book on Gilbert was certain to

make money a lot of money that made me

feel good I remember he used to send the

broad after his fresh State 11 yellow t-

roses with a card which said the 12th is

you he didn't get that from those Queen

script he thought it up himself he had

class buffed every Leading Lady he ever

work

[Applause]

with don't worry Tony knows every bump

in the

[Music]

Gilbert's place was on a small exclusive

Island a kind of rich man's alcatra home

sweet home Mickey home sweet home

I didn't feel so good

[Music]

[Music]

again

pron Mr Gil was born here went to the

states with his uncle when he was

12 oh there's his brother brought it

here with him when he came back hi Mrs

tato where's Preston she loves it hasn't

known herself since she's G back really

brought herself out after all those

years in the bread line impression still

must be changing I'll take you out a tip

as soon as you get in sit

[Music]

down

[Music]

[Music]

d

[Music]

he's here Preston I am

[Music]

Mick make yourself at

home sure Mi I I knew all the boys in

the old days Al Capone Bugsy seigle yeah

bugs

R you bet I did yeah Mick

they they all love

me they all love me why shouldn't

they what the

hell on a screen I gave him class didn't

I so how come I didn't win an

Oscar hey uh do me a favor will

you change the record please put on one

of the old ones

I like the old

ones an immigration

department they're tougher than any

hoods any gangsters I ever work for oh

Mick you know what they're nothing but a

bunch of

[Music]

Hypocrites sure they waited until I was

a little on in years you know had a

little mileage on me then they went

after

me but I was asked to leave the country

you think the fans gave it

damn like hell they did that's what

hurt I couldn't even go to a club

throughout the United States all over

Chicago Cleveland you name it not some

idiot taking a swipe at me and they hit

me in a jaar or something well that's a

fans for you

you do them a favor by living out their

fantasies for them and then

they they get

jealous gangsters weren't the only guys

I knew

M Jack Kennedy I knew him it wasn't no

gangster he was a pal ofine good buddy

look what happened to

him sure I got to admit it

Micky I worked for a lot of the big boys

before I went out to H hwood what the

hell I figured I have already paid my

debt to society I was killed in over 80

movies wasn't

I Mickey glad you could come

over ah sit down son it's uh it's going

to be a great book it's going to be a

real real great book I'll tell you that

hey uh you're hungry come on come on

with me I'll I'll feed

really I mean they're nice people simple

but you know they understand after a

while you know somebody wonders why are

you liveing around I I was actually born

here I went to the states with my uncle

when I was four oh there's my own mother

over here Mak hello Mama hello

sweetheart can't hear a goddamn thing

def isite doornail hello hello hello

hello you big long-legged who are

you

all right hey hey

Benny has mommy eaten this

week um yeah all right come on come on

come on down come on down hurry up let's

see you know you got a great appetite

with this weather here we can serve good

grub too well you see what we lay out

anything you want don't make any

difference you be

surprised yeah we got corn beef we got

everything but stry I had some flown in

last week but come on Benny let's go

move it move it it move it I'm hungry

come on move your ass or I'm too old to

enjoy this meal I'm kind of

hungry you hungry [ __ ] huh She's a

Beauty little sensitive she be all right

everybody dear Lord bless this meal

we're about to receive in Christ's name

amen surprise

you I'm a good Catholic

Liz like to hop in a sack with him oh

Preston y Preston don't give me that

[ __ ] I've been trying to make her for

over a year and I ain't been able to

score Mama must have heard me say grace

at least look at her girl on sit down

mama you know some idiot's been trying

to uh trying to rub me

really who who obviously a professional

contract guy goes under the name of

Miller and I suppose he teaches English

at Berkeley

University why would you say that I

write crap like this every day it's my

job he was murdered last night Mama you

can

last

night are you kidding me Liz Dam readyy

isn't murdered last

night Ben did you hear that I heard they

finally squashed that

bastard I don't have to worry anymore I

don't have to I don't have to say my

prayers anymore what no no I'll explain

it to you later look at I want you to

write that Mother book CU F now forget

about her she she doesn't speak English

anyway I'll give you all that [ __ ] about

the old days everything else and and

look uh hey you know how every book

starts with a quotation well my book

should start with a quotation too let's

see uh how how's this uh we've all we've

yeah yeah this is it we've all passed a

lot of water since then Samuel

gold Gilbert wasn't tight with the

dialogue he talked non-stop for a week

enough for a good fat book but he never

mentioned Miller

again the trip to the mainland was to be

an end of book party some party the

night before denuo had a premonition the

ferry would sink and refused to come

Mama received a visitation from the

Virgin Mary and wouldn't get out of bed

and the scar on my leg screamed at me

not to

go Jesus I I feel

marvelous I hope it

lasts you don't have to worry about

me I'm not worried about you

H

nothing what's matter what's matter it's

a wound in my leg oh the war no a cofin

fell on

me was it empty no it was it was

full

there was another thing about that day

it was the anniversary of his father's

death the date they now

[Music]

[Music]

share come back San Sano

better

keep it keep

it

[Music]

together what

[Music]

[Applause]

ending all right all

right

sir your Mickey K Superstar was

buz did he tell you about

me if you're L Cheney yes I married five

times all of them hard [ __ ] she was

my third you should meet the other

four Betty's my name you're the one

that's married to Prince

chipa you know you're my very first

princess and I I bet that was a fairy

tale romance on the

contrary the prince is very headr isn't

that right

Superstar isn't he big in the new front

of course but he was a Christian

Democrat when I married him yeah that

does make a

difference do you like being the wife of

a politician kissing babies and all that

B I didn't stop it babies

are you trying to Canvas me princess I

can always use a floating voter but I

don't have a t King's good

enough come up to my castle

sometime this weekend's fine for me

Betty what special qualities did you

need to be a princess only

one I'm very good in

bed so I've been

to hey hey you

guys hey hit the bottom for

[Applause]

that hey you don't make how I used to

make my living in the old days as a pin

after

that this will kill you

watch oh God not a again not that same

boring

routine he does it every year what his

party bit it's

embarrassing so why do you come if it's

that bad I never miss his father's

anniversary

Never oh

[Music]

no

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

I watch

[Music]

it we didn't order spaghetti did

we we didn't order spaghetti you didn't

order spaghetti no oh mad I'm so sorry

you didn't order spaghetti oh sir excuse

me I I'm so sorry you you don't like my

spaghetti sir you you don't like my

father I have nothing to do with your

father but you have something to do with

my spaghetti you oh sh I'm sorry I'm so

sorry Madame you excuse me I we've had

enough of this everybody's had enough of

it the boss he's going to take me to the

cleaners what do you think he's going to

do to me I'm in plenty big trouble I'm

in trouble up to here would you like a

banana split brandy brandy Banana Split

don't worry about it you ain't going to

get nothing if you order

it don't worry about it thing I'll take

care of the check I'll look at honey

it's all a fun it's all a fun lady

[Laughter]

Gilbert was proud of being the great

practical joker he could afford to be

suddenly it hit me like a bad tomato I

was top billing in his latest production

only it wasn't a comedy that made me

angry I'm the manager champagne on the

house uh the waiter he weaking the

bladder runs in the family have fir

please don't that's quite all right he

has a wife and 13 children he may starve

and he'll never be lonely you're all

right Sor

fine

excuse everything all right

seor the humor is a little rough don't

give me that back in Hollywood I used to

put all those slobs on they used to pay

me good money to put those people down

at parties rib them a little bit some

nights I'd make as much as 50 bucks a

night those were the days

huh

you know Mickey there's a lot you you

don't know about me oh I believe you now

don't get smart with me son you're full

of crap Gilbert

no no can you of the so oh yet another

funny that's true it's the truth the

doctors gave me the good news about a

week ago that's why I wanted you to

finish the book as quickly as

[Music]

possible you're taking me for an idiot

just like those two poor bastards over

there

Miller the coach trip everything was

rigged well you can stuff your book up

your ass I'm quitting no

yeah Mr

Gilbert not

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

again

[Music]

all us hey Preston stop kidding the

joke's

[Laughter]

[Applause]

over suddenly I was a cop lover they

couldn't keep me at that station long

enough enough I needed time to think and

a safe place to do it the killer had

tried to get me as well it wasn't a joke

anymore Gilbert didn't laugh once all

the way to the

Mory it was like a casting session for

boy

Town any ring a bell Mr King the

American made me nervous he'd arrived

late in the

afternoon I assumed he was FBI things

were serious if the big guns have been

called in the one on the

right

AKA no not

AKA g

g

you

sure I think

so says he's chaplain to the nuns at St

Lorenzo majuri mean anything to you is

it A

disco it's not my

say they all look the same to

me where'd you pick him up

BR

Alonso somebody died

huhy

excuse me pardon me I'd like to have a

word with you all right next day Liz and

I returned to Gilbert's Villa I had some

questions for denuo I found him in deep

mourning drinking Black Velvet I told

the boss not to go he wouldn't listen

would he I'm listening Ben where did

killer Mark 2 spring from Mama took off

as soon as she had the news back to the

game don't change the subject Ben who's

after me a priest biggy boy he wants to

read you the last sack of

it he's putting you on Ghost

Rider he doesn't know did Sugar

Daddy oh we're so upset aren't we don't

call him that try sacarin it should help

the withdrawal symptoms you're still

trying to fit the pieces together bigy

boy I'm wrer maybe Agatha Christie's

free Christian never told you about the

Scandal what Scandal that's 10 bucks yby

Liz the old bastard CED out they'll kill

him

anyway now just a minute you

two are you talking about me relax we'll

protect you oh thanks very much you come

very highly recommended by pre and

Gilbert who is lying dead in the local

Mory not to mention his two companions a

fat Neapolitan singer and an old

accordion

player now you you tell me exactly what

you were talking about Preston in some

guy got involved in a scandal a long

time ago it was all hushed up when

Preston announced he was going to write

his life

story the guy got nervous who did

Preston would never tell us we thought

he told you the priest still does any

more questions Wicky

boy Jesus the

priest he shoots very well for a public

relations

man what's going gr

boss I go yes

how do I join the other

side do you have to run it this way

don't blame me you shot The

projectionist Who the hell's that it's a

Flying Nun Jesus they're getting

everywhere that couldn't be him could it

if it is I'm the pokee I was marked

poison I was the F Guy The Sitting Duck

I was trapped

there was nothing I could do but

cooperate with these Schmucks we had to

find the priest before he gave me the

big

Absolution we ran lizz's film Batman

visits zon there was an outside chance I

might recognize the killer who's that n

that is an eccentric Englishman like ja

the

Ripper my confidence took another

beating they shot film worse than they

shot guns that only left

craps

should do great in

Australia I'll rewind it you want to see

it again right side up no thanks it l

confuse me are you sure you use the

foolproof automatic camera sure I'm sure

takes a special kind of Genius to screw

that

up that's probably guil it to tell you

he's arrived

safely don't fool

around I believe in the herea you need

to the way you

shoot

see he wants to talk to

you who wants to speak to me go FJ the

wizard of

fuj are you putting me on no he's a big

time fortune tell Preston told me about

him so what am I supposed to do Raise

Myself to the ceiling I

needed he says he's talked to the

boss wants to tell you something

something big I know a fat lady is going

to cross my path kill over and crush me

to death

just the same I think he might have a

hot line up there I'm going to make an

appointment for

you Benny uh dear

Martin I didn't sleep that night the

wizard ringing in gave me terrible

indigestion it was just as well my

doorknob was being turned very

slowly

[Music]

one more

move and I

shoot

[Music]

hello I'm the lar star

Ranger and I'm Buck Jones when's your

birthday

Buck don't give me all that astrology

crap I only wanted to buy you a birthday

present

what a night

shirt I flipped off the light and showed

her the door I had my pride

move

over next morning I went to meet The

Clairvoyant outside dant's Barber Shop

Deno promised his friends would be there

to protect

me he seemed to have a lot of friends

it's difficult to tell these days I got

there early took a shave and waited for

the Clair

voy morning morning yes

sh he was wearing a dirty Mac minosh

Clairvoyant usually do they make up for

it with ritzy titles like wizard Oracle

magician they do okay living off

people's fears and superstitions s King

yeah Dr D I felt uneasy he had eyes like

bloodshot oysters I feel hostility you

don't trust me I make predictions you

see they come through December Queen of

England catch cold January riots in

Japan many people go to Australia

February the pope gets called Preston

Gilbert when did he catch

cold someone tried to kill him he wants

to know

when you told him sure

yesterday he kept the

date what else he gave me something to

get feelings

from what thing seor Gilbert didn't pay

his last money oh really how much 50,000

five

five

money you mean you want money now I give

you good

value May trouble in Africa June plenty

people leave

Australia July Pilgrim See Vision of

General the G at lured

hold

it hold

it the Preston Gilbert doit yourself

thrill it inside were the things Gilbert

had given The Clairvoyant to get psychic

feelings from a photograph of a Hunting

Party taken about 10 years before

Gilbert I recognized the others were

just faces

anybody's the the address of a man in

mandron a village near the

coast and The Faded newspaper photograph

of a young girl with the name torn away

what messages the fortune teller was

meant to get from that pile of junk God

only

knew who was in the hunting Squad Senor

Gilbert not tell me

nothing what did Gilbert want with you

one of these men tried to kill him he

wants to know which and the girl I know

nothing I say goodbye and I say

hello and a girl Wizard and the girl and

the girl the girl is

[Applause]

dead she looked like a distant relative

of Rocky

martiano it seemed her honor was on the

missing list so was her cash I got the

feeling it was too late to retrieve

either

[Music]

for me things were Beginning to Look up

I now had some leads to follow an

address and a photograph of a dead girl

that brought me back to the late Preston

Gilbert the

wakes at our place Preston will be

pleased his face rang a bell a warning

Bell I'd seen it staring at from a

thousand posters all over town but I'd

also seen it somewhere else is that

Chipola yes that's when it hit me

Chipola was one of the men with Preston

Gilbert in the hunting photograph that

was only the start there was more to

come Banker Taylor Soldier sailor they

were all in the photograph who are all

these others they used to shoot together

with him or at

him now I knew how how the princess had

met her prince on a bore hunt with

Gilbert Chipola and the film star had

been friends until Betty switch beds

Preston couldn't have liked that too

much three wives down and two to go at

last the jigsaw was fitting together see

you

later but there was still one important

piece missing the one that explained why

these pillars of the establishment were

so nervous of Gilbert talking what was

the Scandal that worried the Law and

Order

Brigade I decided to cut out of the

funeral and follow up The Address given

me by my friend with the oyster

[Applause]

[Music]

eyes the [ __ ] crowing made me uneasy it

was too near Easter for

comfort

[Music]

the

[Music]

a

[Music]

[Music]

for

[Music]

[Music]

Mr

lepri Mr

[Music]

lepri the whole town seemed to be in the

grip of a fatal

disease lock

jaw I took my beer outside and wondered

what it was like here on

Sundays the air in that place had the

musty smell of dried up

dreams it was a ghost town second class

two crossed coffins in the Michelin

guide the old man fixed me with his eyes

we dialed each other's numbers and got

straight through he looked like a

retired gunman who drew too late

twice he knew that I knew he'd never

played the the fruit machines again I

began to wish I'd stayed with the

funeral I looked at the stranger and

knew that nobody' believe me g

bo Mr

lepri

Le do you

speak English a

little would you like a

drink

no who told you that Senor lepri lived

here someone in the city and what do you

want from sor

lepri

business you don't live here for 10

years are you

American

English I fed with partisans during

war where did lepri

go

you know why he

go

no come with

[Music]

me

[Music]

as a driver The Stranger left much to be

desired another arm for a

[Applause]

start every time he changed gear my san

vanished you know I'm a mayor of town oh

really where are we going I will show

you I am a communist you

communist no what are

you I am an imperialist

Lackey

you see Mama right on top till the end

the's got 5,300 bucks for this use the

still from Angels Never Dies the B you

like it

Mama hell of a work of art ain't it

Mama the beach was too remote for

tourists the sand was golden and the sea

blue but I miss the bikinis the smell of

sun oil and frying flesh it was a long

way from my own backyard and a deck

chair marked

king that's why Senor Ley

left that his daughter

Silvana found here Dead all

[Music]

naked is this

[Music]

her you know her no not who she

was bued in the sand

here shepher find

her early in the

morning it's

windy sees her hand

waving how did she

die

heart a heart attack yes

Hunting Party in gangbang that newspaper

headline hit me right between the legs I

remembered it from years ago the girl

had been found dead in mysterious

circumstances there were rumors of

orgies in a nearby hunting lodge but the

stories had fizzled out not

murder no it all fitted the girl's heart

had given way under the strain Chipola

Gilbert and the others must have

panicked and bued her here the picture

was almost complete only one face was

missing the one who ordered the priest

did the police find out who buried her

here

never do you

know yes

who

capitalis and lepri left soon

afterwards him very ashamed of his

daughter he got much money from

someone and left Village to go to

North where did the money come from he

never tell he paid to keep quiet he was

a such a good

communist now he is a

fascista I got shot

that's tomato

ketchup I got shot

o I'll tell you later come

on come

on make for the

truck come on

come

on come

on get

it show

you thank God you're mechanically

minded can you drive no

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

okay

sod off Nanny sod

[Music]

off

[Music]

ah

Miller that costume might just get you

through those Pearly Gates but I doubt

[Music]

it remember that thou art pulp and unto

pulp thou sh return a fitting epar for

Jack Francis Miller priest lecturer and

drag

[Music]

queen I looked across the beach for help

no one a sudden pain bit deep into my

leg I'd been hit blood was pouring out

like a burst water man I sank to the

sand ripping my shirt off as I went I

remember it clearly it was a a present

from my wife that shirt saved my life

which wouldn't have pleased her I used

it as a tour it was like turning off a

tap I dragged myself across the Miller's

[Music]

but a present for you mama from

me scream in the dark on the Run cold

sweat that's the

one one more move fso and I'll pump you

full of lead beautiful ain't it Mama's

already shaking hands with his maker you

like it and it ain't General Motors I

know you'd like it m you need six sense

I'll always have him for a sack on the

coffin I'm sweating

kid I thought you'd appreciate cold

sweat

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

all

[Applause]

hello ladies are you enjoying yourselves

thank you very much I'm so glad you

could

[Music]

come what kind of a bird is that it's a

falcon

[Applause]

thank

you I'll get

you you

bastards

look

everyone he's killed a

priest and how are we

today mind your own

business what's the matter with

him you're second

they were caught literally with their

pants down the girl died on

them how'd you

know I

know they thought that Gilbert had

talked to

me that's why they tried to murder both

of us you're heading for an asylum buddy

you really think they'd killed just

because they made a

girl that's no crime for some people it

is why would a creepy old politician

like Chipola jump on the Law and Order

bandwagon he'd really be sick if this

Scandal ever broke cover Mr King I'd

forget that if I were

you what just forget it you go around

talking that kind of crap and you really

rock the boat a lot of important people

are involved drop

it piss

off if you

don't I'm going to get them to put you

on a murder rap yeah whose's

murder

Miller how reckless

driving you know I never murdered Miller

so you bastard that's the way it is

Bright Eyes just like a house of cards

pull one away the lot Falls I've been

told to make sure you just don't do that

so shut up and enjoy

yourself come back here you yellow F I

want to kick your teeth in come on back

you

Tower Mr King you should learn to

control

yourself the doctor says you'll have to

stay here a bit till you're completely

recovered take take his advice will you

they're nice people

respectable get

[Music]

me

nurse quickly please

nurse

[Music]

n

[Applause]

[Music]

he

what do you call them again

proofs read them to us

darling he reads his own works so

beautifully don't you

agree um

yeah I slammed my fist into his face as

hard as I could there was the sound of

crunching

bone blood splattered everywhere like a

burst watermate stop

I swung round and found myself looking

at Prince Chipola and the bottomless

black eyes of a hunting

[Music]

Ro black thoughts were transmitted I put

my hand on her excuse me what I'm going

toave this see bab

is I rolled over gripping the

aristocrat's boot as I went sto he

toppled like a stone

statue I lashed down my

[Music]

and when the prince bounced on the

ground he was dead stop and his blood

wasn't blue stop stop it was the same as

yours and mine stop I felt better stop

that's all I

remember chapter

13 outside I hailed a cat its tires

screeched on the hot tarmac as it Drew

up follow that car I said leaping in

where do you get your ideas from

Mickey

I'll get the bastards

[Music]

yet oh I wish one leg the

[Music]

n