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The Lord is my
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shall not want. He maketh me to lie down
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in green pastures. He leadth
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me beside the
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waters.
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Okay, here we go then. In three, two,
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one, action.
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Yeah, I'm just watching the rugby. I'm
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absolutely obsessed with it since the
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World Cup. Splendid. What's the score?
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No idea. Look at Johnny Wilkinson's
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spies.
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I said if he's got the luckiest
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testicles. I can't believe we're filming
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this. Well, I know. To say I wish I was
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his testicles. Imagine nestling on those
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thighs every time he sits down. Oh,
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his chesticles.
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Johnny's thighs and wide screen. Yum.
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There's an audience out here.
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[Applause]
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Now that smack that you're doing there
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is quite majorly vicious.
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Yeah. Wake up. Yeah. It's wake up
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smacking. Whereas you're doing something
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I know from Sopranos.
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Never get the look on David's face the
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first time you saw me. No.
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Well, no, it wasn't. It wasn't quite
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like that. No, it was more sort of No,
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it wasn't like Look, it doesn't matter.
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It doesn't It doesn't matter. Alice. Oh
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god, I've gripped my neck. Have you been
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Do you want me to help you? Do you want
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me to help you? Yes.
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Don't run away then. Sorry. I really
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have broke my neck. Rub rub rub. [ __ ]
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I'm just there really hard harder.
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Comedy is a very dangerous business.
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[Music]
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Cut it out, will you, D?
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Listen, you big gala. Look at the back
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of your head. I can see you've been
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sleeping.
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Any
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[Music]
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other business? Oh, yes. Yes. It's about
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say yes. Yes. Like,
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don't shut me. No. No. Yes.
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[Music]
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That is glory be to God on high. That's
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a such a strange thing to Okay, don't
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say it then. Merry Christmas. Just say
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merry Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. What about
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that? Uh shall we go in? Ah, well, we're
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just waiting for Alice to uh bring the
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children down. They wanted to say
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congratulations, but uh they're in a
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little, so congratulations is hard to
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pronounce. So, they're going to say nice
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one. Hello, Raggi. Hello, Legolas.
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Gandalf and Fiddyent.
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Hello. You want me to say Fiddy Cent?
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Do you think people will get that?
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Hello, 50 Cent.
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And hello, little Nard. You're of Big
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Brother. A When you came into the room
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yesterday, where did you put your
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children? Where did Annas put her
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children? I shoved them in the cupboard
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and went, "Stay there." What did I teach
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you? Say to the vicer children, come on.
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We love our gay vicar. Yeah. No, no,
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that was the old one. The new one. Nice
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one, Auntie Vicker. Uh, in a way, I
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think it should be nice one vicar rather
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than nice one, auntie, don't you? Yeah.
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Nice one, Vicker.
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We've cut it.
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That should be the littlest one. Really
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instead cuz we've got two.
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Hello Legolas. Hello Hagrid. Happy
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Christmas children.
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[Music]
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And I think when you've said it, um, but
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it was worth the wait. I think you
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should still be in that mode a little
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bit and make a little noise.
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That's nice. It's such a boy thing to do
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that. Going to be as sweet as possible.
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She may be watching. She watches tell
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you all that. Even if you're the queen,
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you're delighted when people sleep with
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you. I love it. She might throw up her
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Brusszle sprites. The queen was
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watching.
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She choked on. She died.
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Written by Richard
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referred to her as mtastic.
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We are not amused.
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Okay. These days are mad because you
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spend the whole day from 9:00 in the
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morning till 6 doing a camera rehearsal
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and you're absolutely shattered by the
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end of it and then you can't ha 7 you
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got to go zoom your adrenaline up from
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there to there and do a show.
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[Music]
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I say this with every something or
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other.
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What?
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[Laughter]
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Okay.
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Okay. Little pick up. We still
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[Music]
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It's quite a controversial thesis and it
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took a little bit of time for me to
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to
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to
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tango to tango to delig
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[Applause]
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Yes.
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Not tonight, darling. Yes.
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Praise the Lord. He's coming down the
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birth canal.
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Here he comes now.
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We we
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look the Madonna's fully delighted.
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Delighted. She shall
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she shall not need an epiotomy.
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What is this? [ __ ] tea. I thought I
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thought that [ __ ] tea not to be used.
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I know. I'm not sure. I've always been a
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bit twisted about this and I think that
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actually the me and God's ultimate
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representative on earth might be better
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without the repeat now. Really quite
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good friends actually. Me and God's
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ultimate something.
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Oh, what excitement.
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Speech. Speech.
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I'm going to kill myself.
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He hasn't remembered that line for the
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whole week.
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It's only two words.
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The two words speech. Speech.
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Great. Yeah, man. Yeah.
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It's going to come to pass. You're here.
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[Music]
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Well, get going.
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[Music]
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His name is Jesus.
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Hallelujah. If you're bad, he's going to
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screw you up. Yeah.
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What do you think, future rap star James
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Fleet, don't you think?
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I felt then as though I wanted you to
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go, "Right, I'll do that." And then just
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scream. must understand how comedy
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works.
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Right. I'll do that.
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It's It's only because it's the end of a
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long episode that will also also wake up
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all the people who switch to watch a
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half hour Yes. comedy show and find
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themselves 70 minutes later still
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watching the television. The horror that
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is the Christmas of dimly. I don't know
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how I could ever have thought of
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leaving. This is and always will be the
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place for me.
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God bless you. For loads more Christmas
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specials.
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See you all next Christmas. See you.
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Same slot next Christmas day.
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[Music]
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That's not bad. That is not bad. I
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actually did it very well.
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[Applause]12128
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