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Let's start with King Charles, the
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Let's start with King Charles, the
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Let's start with King Charles, the
world's oldest Nepo baby.
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world's oldest Nepo baby.
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world's oldest Nepo baby.
He's visiting the United States this
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He's visiting the United States this
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He's visiting the United States this
week because even though our country is
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week because even though our country is
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week because even though our country is
falling apart right now, it's also our
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falling apart right now, it's also our
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falling apart right now, it's also our
250th birthday. So, no matter how sad
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250th birthday. So, no matter how sad
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250th birthday. So, no matter how sad
the party is going to be, our friends
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the party is going to be, our friends
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the party is going to be, our friends
are still coming over. Okay? Then on the
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are still coming over. Okay? Then on the
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are still coming over. Okay? Then on the
ride home, they'll be like, "She is a
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ride home, they'll be like, "She is a
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ride home, they'll be like, "She is a
rough 250."
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So, yesterday, King Charles dropped by
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So, yesterday, King Charles dropped by
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So, yesterday, King Charles dropped by
and he brought some jokes to cheer us
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and he brought some jokes to cheer us
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and he brought some jokes to cheer us
up. This is a city which symbolizes a
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up. This is a city which symbolizes a
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up. This is a city which symbolizes a
period in our shared history or what
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period in our shared history or what
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period in our shared history or what
Charles Dickens might have called a tale
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Charles Dickens might have called a tale
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Charles Dickens might have called a tale
of two Georgees.
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Wow. He he really commands the sta I'm
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Wow. He he really commands the sta I'm
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Wow. He he really commands the sta I'm
sorry. He really colonizes the stage.
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sorry. He really colonizes the stage.
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sorry. He really colonizes the stage.
What's annoying about this as a comedian
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What's annoying about this as a comedian
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What's annoying about this as a comedian
is that he is actually killing. I mean,
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is that he is actually killing. I mean,
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is that he is actually killing. I mean,
look at him feeling himself in the
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look at him feeling himself in the
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look at him feeling himself in the
laughs.
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laughs.
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laughs.
>> A tale of two Georgees.
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He's even got like a signature move with
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He's even got like a signature move with
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He's even got like a signature move with
his hands. And Charles did not stop
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his hands. And Charles did not stop
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his hands. And Charles did not stop
there. 250 years ago, or as we say in
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there. 250 years ago, or as we say in
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there. 250 years ago, or as we say in
the United Kingdom, just the other day.
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Dare I say that if it wasn't for us,
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Dare I say that if it wasn't for us,
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Dare I say that if it wasn't for us,
you'd be speaking French.
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You know, I've always wondered what
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You know, I've always wondered what
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You know, I've always wondered what
white Def Jab would be like.
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white Def Jab would be like.
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white Def Jab would be like.
I kind of want him to keep going. Like,
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I kind of want him to keep going. Like,
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I kind of want him to keep going. Like,
do you ever notice that white people
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do you ever notice that white people
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do you ever notice that white people
drive like this and uh black people
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drive like this and uh black people
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drive like this and uh black people
steal your son,
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but yeah, Charles is crushing. Hit us
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but yeah, Charles is crushing. Hit us
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but yeah, Charles is crushing. Hit us
with another one. Magna Carta is cited
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with another one. Magna Carta is cited
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with another one. Magna Carta is cited
in at least
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in at least
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in at least
160 Supreme Court cases since 1789,
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160 Supreme Court cases since 1789,
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160 Supreme Court cases since 1789,
not least as the foundation of the
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not least as the foundation of the
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not least as the foundation of the
principle that executive power is
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principle that executive power is
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principle that executive power is
subject to checks and balances.
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Oh. Oh, he got us too good.
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Oh. Oh, he got us too good.
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Oh. Oh, he got us too good.
No. No. It's funny cuz you see cuz we
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No. No. It's funny cuz you see cuz we
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No. No. It's funny cuz you see cuz we
don't have checks and balances anymore
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don't have checks and balances anymore
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don't have checks and balances anymore
because because the foundations of our
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because because the foundations of our
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because because the foundations of our
democracy are slowly being eroded away.
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democracy are slowly being eroded away.
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democracy are slowly being eroded away.
Like are you crazy, Chuck? You crazy.
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Oh, the best part of that joke is that
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Oh, the best part of that joke is that
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Oh, the best part of that joke is that
right after Charles warned us about a
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right after Charles warned us about a
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right after Charles warned us about a
leader with unchecked power, Trump was
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leader with unchecked power, Trump was
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leader with unchecked power, Trump was
like, "That's a good idea."
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like, "That's a good idea."
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like, "That's a good idea."
>> Breaking news. Former FBI Director James
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>> Breaking news. Former FBI Director James
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>> Breaking news. Former FBI Director James
Comey, one of President Trump's biggest
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Comey, one of President Trump's biggest
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Comey, one of President Trump's biggest
political adversaries, has been indicted
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political adversaries, has been indicted
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political adversaries, has been indicted
for a second time.
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for a second time.
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for a second time.
>> Now that's timing. Just to get you up to
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>> Now that's timing. Just to get you up to
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>> Now that's timing. Just to get you up to
speed, a year ago, James Comey did the
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speed, a year ago, James Comey did the
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speed, a year ago, James Comey did the
most retired old man thing ever. He
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most retired old man thing ever. He
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most retired old man thing ever. He
walked on a beach and took a picture of
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walked on a beach and took a picture of
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walked on a beach and took a picture of
seashells and even posted on social
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seashells and even posted on social
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seashells and even posted on social
media like we wanted to see it, too.
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media like we wanted to see it, too.
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media like we wanted to see it, too.
This since deleted Instagram post from
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This since deleted Instagram post from
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This since deleted Instagram post from
Comey showing the numbers 8647
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Comey showing the numbers 8647
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Comey showing the numbers 8647
written in seashells on the beach with
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written in seashells on the beach with
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written in seashells on the beach with
the caption cool shell formation on my
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the caption cool shell formation on my
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the caption cool shell formation on my
beachwalk. Trump supporters condemning
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beachwalk. Trump supporters condemning
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beachwalk. Trump supporters condemning
that post claiming it was a call to 86
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that post claiming it was a call to 86
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that post claiming it was a call to 86
or kill the 47th president.
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or kill the 47th president.
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or kill the 47th president.
This the seashells that's the threat.
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This the seashells that's the threat.
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This the seashells that's the threat.
Are you sure he was acting alone?
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Are you sure he was acting alone?
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Are you sure he was acting alone?
Because as long as we're indicting I
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Because as long as we're indicting I
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Because as long as we're indicting I
heard about a woman who sells seashells
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heard about a woman who sells seashells
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heard about a woman who sells seashells
by the seashore.
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by the seashore.
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by the seashore.
That's suspicious as hell.
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That's suspicious as hell.
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That's suspicious as hell.
Seriously, how do you get from this
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Seriously, how do you get from this
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Seriously, how do you get from this
post, James Comey wants to murder the
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post, James Comey wants to murder the
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post, James Comey wants to murder the
president? James Comey is a very
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president? James Comey is a very
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president? James Comey is a very
intelligent man. I would assume he knows
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intelligent man. I would assume he knows
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intelligent man. I would assume he knows
what the term 86 means. I was a waiter
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what the term 86 means. I was a waiter
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what the term 86 means. I was a waiter
for some time. When you 86 an order, you
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for some time. When you 86 an order, you
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for some time. When you 86 an order, you
kill the order. When you 8645, that is
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kill the order. When you 8645, that is
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kill the order. When you 8645, that is
tantamount to saying killing the
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tantamount to saying killing the
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tantamount to saying killing the
president of the United States. He
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president of the United States. He
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president of the United States. He
should have known that.
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should have known that.
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should have known that.
>> When you 86 an order, you get rid of the
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>> When you 86 an order, you get rid of the
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>> When you 86 an order, you get rid of the
order, right?
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order, right?
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order, right?
>> But you're not actually I mean, you're
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>> But you're not actually I mean, you're
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>> But you're not actually I mean, you're
not killing the food.
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>> Yeah, exactly. That would be weird,
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>> Yeah, exactly. That would be weird,
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>> Yeah, exactly. That would be weird,
wouldn't it? like uh Joey. Joey, this uh
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wouldn't it? like uh Joey. Joey, this uh
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wouldn't it? like uh Joey. Joey, this uh
it's ravioli. It's a little mushy. So
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it's ravioli. It's a little mushy. So
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it's ravioli. It's a little mushy. So
take it out back and blow its brains
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take it out back and blow its brains
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take it out back and blow its brains
out. Capich,
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out. Capich,
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out. Capich,
just so you're aware, this is probably
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just so you're aware, this is probably
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just so you're aware, this is probably
not going to work in court cuz I know
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not going to work in court cuz I know
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not going to work in court cuz I know
it's scary to be indicted, but this is
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it's scary to be indicted, but this is
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it's scary to be indicted, but this is
definitely going to get 86 by a judge.
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definitely going to get 86 by a judge.
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definitely going to get 86 by a judge.
And in fact, if I could talk to the
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And in fact, if I could talk to the
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And in fact, if I could talk to the
Department of Justice for just a second,
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Department of Justice for just a second,
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Department of Justice for just a second,
I don't even think you believe you.
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I don't even think you believe you.
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I don't even think you believe you.
Because if you're saying that those
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Because if you're saying that those
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Because if you're saying that those
menacing seashells were a threat to the
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menacing seashells were a threat to the
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menacing seashells were a threat to the
president, then why did it take you
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president, then why did it take you
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president, then why did it take you
nearly a year to come after Comey? I
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nearly a year to come after Comey? I
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nearly a year to come after Comey? I
thought the Secret Service on Saturday
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thought the Secret Service on Saturday
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thought the Secret Service on Saturday
night was slow. I owe them an apology.
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night was slow. I owe them an apology.
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night was slow. I owe them an apology.
Just so we're all clear, 86 means
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Just so we're all clear, 86 means
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Just so we're all clear, 86 means
getting rid of something off a menu or
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getting rid of something off a menu or
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getting rid of something off a menu or
kicking someone out of a place. It's
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kicking someone out of a place. It's
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kicking someone out of a place. It's
been understood to mean those things
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been understood to mean those things
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been understood to mean those things
since the 1930s. It's actually one of
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since the 1930s. It's actually one of
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since the 1930s. It's actually one of
the last good slang terms that white
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the last good slang terms that white
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the last good slang terms that white
people invented.
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people invented.
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people invented.
Since then, it's been nothing but
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Since then, it's been nothing but
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Since then, it's been nothing but
bazinga and amazeballs and
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bazinga and amazeballs and
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bazinga and amazeballs and
a few new slurs,
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a few new slurs,
235
00:05:28,479 --> 00:05:30,710
a few new slurs,
mostly the slurs.
236
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:30,720
mostly the slurs.
237
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,790
mostly the slurs.
So, I'm not worried that James Comey is
238
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:32,800
So, I'm not worried that James Comey is
239
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,390
So, I'm not worried that James Comey is
actually going to prison. But what's
240
00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:34,400
actually going to prison. But what's
241
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,830
actually going to prison. But what's
buming me out is the fact that our
242
00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:35,840
buming me out is the fact that our
243
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,990
buming me out is the fact that our
president feels totally unencumbered to
244
00:05:37,990 --> 00:05:38,000
president feels totally unencumbered to
245
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,670
president feels totally unencumbered to
use the power of the Justice Department
246
00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:39,680
use the power of the Justice Department
247
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:50,950
use the power of the Justice Department
to go after people he doesn't like.
248
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:50,960
249
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This whole thing is so depressing. I
250
00:05:53,110 --> 00:05:53,120
This whole thing is so depressing. I
251
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,870
This whole thing is so depressing. I
could use a pickme up.
252
00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:54,880
could use a pickme up.
253
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,469
could use a pickme up.
>> As Oscar Wild said, we have rarely
254
00:05:58,469 --> 00:05:58,479
>> As Oscar Wild said, we have rarely
255
00:05:58,479 --> 00:06:00,950
>> As Oscar Wild said, we have rarely
everything in common uh with America
256
00:06:00,950 --> 00:06:00,960
everything in common uh with America
257
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:06,230
everything in common uh with America
nowadays, except of course language.
258
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259
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:10,070
Oh, damn. Get them, Chuck. Get them.
260
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:10,080
Oh, damn. Get them, Chuck. Get them.
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00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,749
Oh, damn. Get them, Chuck. Get them.
Uh, I honestly don't even know what that
262
00:06:11,749 --> 00:06:11,759
Uh, I honestly don't even know what that
263
00:06:11,759 --> 00:06:14,390
Uh, I honestly don't even know what that
means. But for more on the indictment of
264
00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:14,400
means. But for more on the indictment of
265
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,469
means. But for more on the indictment of
James Comey and the fallout, we go live
266
00:06:16,469 --> 00:06:16,479
James Comey and the fallout, we go live
267
00:06:16,479 --> 00:06:22,950
James Comey and the fallout, we go live
to Grace Ken Schmidt.
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00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:22,960
269
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:29,029
>> GRACE,
270
00:06:29,029 --> 00:06:29,039
271
00:06:29,039 --> 00:06:30,230
GRACE, the courts are going to throw
272
00:06:30,230 --> 00:06:30,240
GRACE, the courts are going to throw
273
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,070
GRACE, the courts are going to throw
this case out, right?
274
00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:32,080
this case out, right?
275
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,390
this case out, right?
>> That's what I thought at first, Josh.
276
00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:34,400
>> That's what I thought at first, Josh.
277
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,710
>> That's what I thought at first, Josh.
So, I went to the beach to investigate,
278
00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:36,720
So, I went to the beach to investigate,
279
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,590
So, I went to the beach to investigate,
and now I see that the beach is full of
280
00:06:39,590 --> 00:06:39,600
and now I see that the beach is full of
281
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,150
and now I see that the beach is full of
threats to the president.
282
00:06:42,150 --> 00:06:42,160
threats to the president.
283
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,390
threats to the president.
Like like what? More seashells.
284
00:06:44,390 --> 00:06:44,400
Like like what? More seashells.
285
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:49,029
Like like what? More seashells.
>> Even worse, Josh, look at this.
286
00:06:49,029 --> 00:06:49,039
>> Even worse, Josh, look at this.
287
00:06:49,039 --> 00:06:50,950
>> Even worse, Josh, look at this.
>> It just looks like a bucket.
288
00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:50,960
>> It just looks like a bucket.
289
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,430
>> It just looks like a bucket.
>> Yeah, as in the president should kick
290
00:06:53,430 --> 00:06:53,440
>> Yeah, as in the president should kick
291
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,909
>> Yeah, as in the president should kick
the bucket.
292
00:06:55,909 --> 00:06:55,919
the bucket.
293
00:06:55,919 --> 00:07:00,629
the bucket.
The
294
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:00,639
295
00:07:00,639 --> 00:07:03,670
>> Josh, the fouryear-old who I grabbed
296
00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:03,680
>> Josh, the fouryear-old who I grabbed
297
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:07,110
>> Josh, the fouryear-old who I grabbed
this from was clearly implying that that
298
00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:07,120
this from was clearly implying that that
299
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,189
this from was clearly implying that that
because he had the same haircut as
300
00:07:09,189 --> 00:07:09,199
because he had the same haircut as
301
00:07:09,199 --> 00:07:12,950
because he had the same haircut as
Rachel Matto.
302
00:07:12,950 --> 00:07:12,960
303
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,909
I think you just stole a child's bucket.
304
00:07:15,909 --> 00:07:15,919
I think you just stole a child's bucket.
305
00:07:15,919 --> 00:07:19,029
I think you just stole a child's bucket.
>> Agree to disagree. Okay. What about
306
00:07:19,029 --> 00:07:19,039
>> Agree to disagree. Okay. What about
307
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:22,309
>> Agree to disagree. Okay. What about
this? I found this flyer that verbatim
308
00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:22,319
this? I found this flyer that verbatim
309
00:07:22,319 --> 00:07:26,070
this? I found this flyer that verbatim
says DJ trap night at Club 69.
310
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:26,080
says DJ trap night at Club 69.
311
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:30,070
says DJ trap night at Club 69.
As in tonight we trap DJ DONALD J. IT
312
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:30,080
As in tonight we trap DJ DONALD J. IT
313
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,350
As in tonight we trap DJ DONALD J. IT
COULDN'T BE MORE CLEAR.
314
00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:33,360
COULDN'T BE MORE CLEAR.
315
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,749
COULDN'T BE MORE CLEAR.
>> Then what does Club 69 mean?
316
00:07:35,749 --> 00:07:35,759
>> Then what does Club 69 mean?
317
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:40,469
>> Then what does Club 69 mean?
>> It means that club ising cool, bro.
318
00:07:40,469 --> 00:07:40,479
>> It means that club ising cool, bro.
319
00:07:40,479 --> 00:07:42,629
>> It means that club ising cool, bro.
This all sounds like normal beach stuff.
320
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:42,639
This all sounds like normal beach stuff.
321
00:07:42,639 --> 00:07:45,189
This all sounds like normal beach stuff.
>> Yeah, that's the problem, Josh. This
322
00:07:45,189 --> 00:07:45,199
>> Yeah, that's the problem, Josh. This
323
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:46,870
>> Yeah, that's the problem, Josh. This
kind of threat is just becoming
324
00:07:46,870 --> 00:07:46,880
kind of threat is just becoming
325
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,350
kind of threat is just becoming
normalized. You probably don't even
326
00:07:49,350 --> 00:07:49,360
normalized. You probably don't even
327
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,070
normalized. You probably don't even
think this used condom I found in the
328
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:52,080
think this used condom I found in the
329
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,309
think this used condom I found in the
sand is
330
00:07:54,309 --> 00:07:54,319
sand is
331
00:07:54,319 --> 00:07:58,070
sand is
>> OH NO, GRACE. That's just gross. Put
332
00:07:58,070 --> 00:07:58,080
>> OH NO, GRACE. That's just gross. Put
333
00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,029
>> OH NO, GRACE. That's just gross. Put
that down.
334
00:07:59,029 --> 00:07:59,039
that down.
335
00:07:59,039 --> 00:08:01,430
that down.
>> Is it gross or is somebody threatening
336
00:08:01,430 --> 00:08:01,440
>> Is it gross or is somebody threatening
337
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,629
>> Is it gross or is somebody threatening
to suffocate Trump's penis?
338
00:08:04,629 --> 00:08:04,639
to suffocate Trump's penis?
339
00:08:04,639 --> 00:08:07,430
to suffocate Trump's penis?
An attack ON HIS PENIS IS AN ATTACK ON
340
00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:07,440
An attack ON HIS PENIS IS AN ATTACK ON
341
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:08,790
An attack ON HIS PENIS IS AN ATTACK ON
AMERICA.
342
00:08:08,790 --> 00:08:08,800
AMERICA.
343
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,869
AMERICA.
That is not what that is. Now drop that
344
00:08:10,869 --> 00:08:10,879
That is not what that is. Now drop that
345
00:08:10,879 --> 00:08:12,469
That is not what that is. Now drop that
before you catch chlamydia.
346
00:08:12,469 --> 00:08:12,479
before you catch chlamydia.
347
00:08:12,479 --> 00:08:15,029
before you catch chlamydia.
>> Too late.
348
00:08:15,029 --> 00:08:15,039
>> Too late.
349
00:08:15,039 --> 00:08:17,589
>> Too late.
>> But it's not too late to tone down the
350
00:08:17,589 --> 00:08:17,599
>> But it's not too late to tone down the
351
00:08:17,599 --> 00:08:19,430
>> But it's not too late to tone down the
beach rhetoric. For God's sake, there
352
00:08:19,430 --> 00:08:19,440
beach rhetoric. For God's sake, there
353
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,909
beach rhetoric. For God's sake, there
are jack dudes walking around in tank
354
00:08:21,909 --> 00:08:21,919
are jack dudes walking around in tank
355
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:24,710
are jack dudes walking around in tank
tops with violent messages ordering
356
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:24,720
tops with violent messages ordering
357
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,670
tops with violent messages ordering
people to take their guns out because
358
00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:27,680
people to take their guns out because
359
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,350
people to take their guns out because
the suns is out.
360
00:08:31,350 --> 00:08:31,360
the suns is out.
361
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,269
the suns is out.
>> That's referring to their biceps.
362
00:08:33,269 --> 00:08:33,279
>> That's referring to their biceps.
363
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,949
>> That's referring to their biceps.
>> Biceps.
364
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:34,959
>> Biceps.
365
00:08:34,959 --> 00:08:39,990
>> Biceps.
Biceps. Here we go again with the DEI.
366
00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:40,000
Biceps. Here we go again with the DEI.
367
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:44,870
Biceps. Here we go again with the DEI.
God forbid we have heterosps anymore.
368
00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:44,880
God forbid we have heterosps anymore.
369
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,630
God forbid we have heterosps anymore.
>> Grace, how long have you been on the
370
00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:46,640
>> Grace, how long have you been on the
371
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,070
>> Grace, how long have you been on the
beach? You sound like you have sun
372
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:48,080
beach? You sound like you have sun
373
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,110
beach? You sound like you have sun
poisoning.
374
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:49,120
poisoning.
375
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,910
poisoning.
>> Wrong again, Josh. The chlamyia has
376
00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:51,920
>> Wrong again, Josh. The chlamyia has
377
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,230
>> Wrong again, Josh. The chlamyia has
reached my brain.
378
00:08:54,230 --> 00:08:54,240
reached my brain.
379
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,990
reached my brain.
>> Go get that checked out. Grace Cooling
380
00:08:55,990 --> 00:08:56,000
>> Go get that checked out. Grace Cooling
381
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,399
>> Go get that checked out. Grace Cooling
Schmidt, everybody.
32587
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