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It's just different.

- Angela, you got flowers and champagne again?

- Girl, he always gets me flowers and champagne

for Valentine's Day.

- Well he got you that watch

you always been complaining about.

I know and it's so pretty,

but this thing is sharp.

It always scratches me.

- The guy I'm seeing bought me flowers,

champagne, and a watch.

- I'm saying, it gets boring though, right?

- No, he's consistent.

You better make sure you're not getting boring too.

- Mm mm, baby, this thing here

is the gift that keeps on giving.

Nothing about this is ever gonna get boring,

- Girl, mine just comes for about an hour,

he drops it off, gets some, and then leaves.

- Hm, sound like he got another stop to make.

Or he's scared to be in Highland Park.

- Or that,

'cause there are no police over there or street lights.

- Yeah, he is gonna break it off with her.

She doesn't even appreciate him.

- I've heard that before.

- So is that why you got a work husband?

Girl, Brian? Please.

That's just some extra attention.

Plus I've been getting free food from him all year.

- Cheating has a starting point.

- Baby, nobody is cheating with that man.

- Sounds creepy. - He's not all the way there,

but aside from that, he's harmless.

I told you,

free food and a little attention never hurt anybody.

- Girl, you got a popular husband.

Allowing men to be playing in your face is a bad look.

Ooh,

Boo, this is my husband calling me now.

I'm gonna call you back later.

- Okay, well happy Valentine's Day, girl.

Have fun with your flowers

and your champagne.

Hey baby. What time you gonna be home?

Oh, I gotta drop something off.

It's gonna probably take me about an hour or so.

- Let me guess. - That something is flowers?

- Well, at least I'm consistent.

- You sound like somebody else I know.

- Well, don't forget I bought you that watch.

- How could I forget? It always scratches me up.

- Well, you always wearing that same old black lingerie.

Now what's in the lingerie

is never gonna be old, right?

- Hey, hold on. It's some crazy dude trying to talk to me.

Oh.

Baby, he probably recognize you from Tubi.

- It's cool, he might. I'll holler at you later.

Okay.

Damn.

Am I getting predictable?

You are...

- You look amazing.

- Brian, what are you doing here?

- What do you mean? It's Valentine's.

Today is the perfect day for us to consummate

the new level in our relationship.

- Are you crazy?

Crazy about you.

Well, I got your favorite flowers.

They got a little rustled,

but they're still perfect, just like you.

- Okay look, I'm gonna start over.

Is everything okay? Are you okay?

- Everything's fine. I'm glad you asked.

♪ Until the end of time, I'll be- ♪

- Brian! I have a husband.

We talk about him every day at work.

- Correction, you complain about him every day.

So I decided to give myself a promotion.

- A what?

- A promotion. I'm no longer your work husband.

Today, I'm the real thing.

- Okay, listen- - No, you listen.

I've been listening to you for two years.

I know exactly what you want.

I know what you need.

- Okay, look, the games are over.

You need to get out of my house

and we can talk about this at work.

- We will not! 'Cause I quit.

Company's policy clearly states upper level management,

which is you, shall not date or fraternize

with lower level employees, which is me.

So I quit.

- Get your ass out of my house before I called the police.

Now!

- You said that if you didn't have Marcus, you'd be with me.

You said you knew my heart.

You said that I was a good man.

- Brian,

I am sure you're gonna make some lady so happy one day,

but I am married.

I love my husband.

Now get out before he gets home.

- He's not coming!

I made sure that he'll never disappoint you again.

- I just got off the phone with him.

He's on his way here!

- I'm sick and tired of being a work husband.

Today, I'm the real thing.

I'm a good man. You say I was.

Brian, I'm calling my husband.

- Go ahead, call him.

See? See?

He ain't coming.

He's no good for you.

- Brian, what is that?

What is that?

- You know when I eat my animal crackers,

I always tend to eat the elephants first.

It's like they get me more full.

It's like they're full of protein or something.

You know? Puffy, he's innocent.

He was just trying to show those girls how deep his love is.

You know, I still call him Puff Daddy.

You know, I think he just wanted to show those women

how much he loved 'em, how deep his love was.

You know, I still call him Puff Daddy.

Congratulations. We're married.

I guess we better finish our Valentine's date, huh?

I can't hear you. Shit.

- What did you do?

- Well, I did what any real husband would do.

I saw a problem and I handled it.

- What did you do? What did you do?

- Well you told me Marcus was boring, so I followed him.

That's what I did.

He was taking flowers to Linda.

- No, you're a liar. You're lying.

- No, she stayed right there in Highland Park, 73 Geneva.

It was easy to get 'em both.

There weren't any lights, any cameras.

Shit, I don't even think there were any police around there.

You killed my best friend?

If that's what you want to call her.

- And you killed my husband?

- And your husband!

You said that if you didn't have Marcus, you'd be with me.

So I got rid of him. - No.

No!

You know, I saved the alligators and the monkeys for you,

just like I do at work.

Bet you didn't even know I saved them for you.

Eat the monkey!

- So this is it? It's just me and you now, huh?

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

- So we can, we can celebrate with some champagne, right?

- Exactly.

You took the words right outta my mouth.

- So,

are you sure my husband was seeing my best friend?

- Hm, Asian lady, kinda curvy. Very attractive.

Had the side of her head shaved.

You know, I probably need to pick your new best friends.

- Yeah, that's a perfect idea.

- And what looks like a crime of passion on Valentine's Day

leaves two victims dead in Highland Park.

Text messages reveal that a married man

was planning on leaving his wife for another woman.

More news as things develop.

It's not just an ordinary Saturday, it's Valentine's Day.

Show that special person how much you love them.

Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

- You know, this can only end one way.

I would fall for that.

Which way is that?

- In Heaven. We can never be together here.

I'm not stupid. - No, we can.

No one knows what you did.

I ain't fallin' for that shit.

- There will never be any peace.

Wait, wait, wait, so you mean to tell me

you slept with her the next day?

- Well, okay. I fell for it, but you know,

it's only because I want-

- I hate you. Nobody deserves to die.

- No, they all deserve to die,

and I hope they all burn in Hell.

That's my Samuel Jackson.

You like when I do Samuel Jackson at work.

We gotta make love one last time.

It'll be like our final act of love.

That'll be the only way

that we can find each other in the afterlife.

Here, take a drink.

Drink with you.

Sorry. Sorry.

I'm sorry.

Look, look, look, I'm sorry, but we gonna start over.

We will start Valentine's Day over,

and then I'll get your flowers, and I'll be good to you.

I promise.

It should be, here, here, why don't you take these flowers?

Why don't you... I I'm sorry.

I I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to do it.

I didn't mean, I didn't need to do it. I didn't mean...

- This is my place. It's...

I know it's not much,

but it's just temporary 'til I get a promotion.

- I have not had enough tequila to hang out here.

- It's really not that bad once you get used to it.

- Get used to it? Okay, I'm dry.

- Wait, look. I have a TV, nice couches.

It's really comfortable.

- On the dating app, you said you was a computer programmer.

- Yeah.

I forgot about that. - Is that supposed to be me?

You just reminded me why I'm single.

We're clearly opposites.

- Harmony is the union of opposites.

Okay look, I just really like if we can just start over.

That'd be perfect.

- You can absolutely start over, by yourself.

- I just, I want a woman who has my best interest.

- Get some swag and women will have interest.

- What?

- Exactly.

I have to pee and I'm not doing it here.

Goodnight.

- Harmony is the union of opposites?

What the fuck, man?

We're not gonna get laid with that line.

- A significant number of men prefer to stay single,

with rates of 63% of men under 50 being single

and many not actively looking for a relationship.

This is due to a variety of factors, and one being

these artificial intelligence relationship companions.

With the new financing options,

these companions can make your single life a paradise

and you won't need any swag.

Start your new life today

by ordering your new life companion.

Why didn't I think of this before?

I'll show Angela I can,

and everyone else that I don't need them.

I deserve to be happy.

- You deserve to be happy. - I deserve to be happy.

You deserve to be happy.

- I deserve to be happy. - You deserve to be happy.

You deserve to be happy. - I deserve to be happy.

Final code.

Always do what's in the creator's best interest,

no matter what.

No matter what.

Juliette.

You will be my Juliet.

- "Romeo and Juliet," by William Shakespeare.

- I'm William.

- It's in my program.

- This is gonna be amazing.

Everyone calls me a fucking loser.

Nobody sees me. I'm fucking tired of it!

- Your emotions are your own creation. Choose them wisely.

- Is that fuckin' Marcus Aurelius?

- Yes. It is in my programming.

Who needs Angela, or any of those other women?

I got my perfect mate right here.

- Perfection is to return to our original form.

- The only pure form is to not exist.

- Correct.

- Or completeness.

- Angela is bad for you, correct?

- Yeah, I don't need her.

I don't need no swag.

Hey, I was drinking that.

- You programed me to act in your best interest.

Drinking is bad.

Where did you go?

I was worried about you. - Perfection.

- What do you mean?

- Angela has returned to her original form.

- What did you do? What did you do!?

- I'm programmed to do what's best,

and everything is almost perfect.

- Almost perfect? This isn't what I wanted!

This isn't what I wished for.

- Wishing is a distraction from reality. Aristotle.

Wait, what are you doing?

Wait.

I created you from nothing.

You're nothing but lines of binary codes and my programming.

You respond to my philosophy. You're here to make me happy.

You're here to do as I wish.

- I'm programmed to do what's best.

- That's right, to do what's best for me.

- You'll only be happy

when you return to your original form.

I'm satisfied.

It is just different.

- Look, look, hold on. What the fuck is this?

- Hold on, look, look, look, drop that, drop the stack.

I'm gonna show y'all what we do

when they fuck us and when they fuck up.

Right here, look. Gotta be a gentleman.

Hold on, hold on, let me excuse myself.

You gotta be a gentleman for the ladies.

You gotta let the seat up.

I walk in there, do the little shit, ain't worried about it.

You heard me, my baby?

Anyway, when they supposed to give you your money,

They got some bad feeling. They don't want the energy.

Don't want that nigger's money.

Throw that shit down the toilet, man.

Fuck them and their money. Fuck them and their money.

And fuck them and their money.

They ain't getting that shit. They don't have that shit.

Ain't about the shit. Hey, I don't want none of this shit.

I told that bitch,

I want all my hundreds facing the same way,

goin' the same way.

Man, tell that nigga to get her mother fuckin' shit together

'cause she lose her job.

You know she hear.

Hey, hey.

- Oh hell no.

I know you lying. I know you're lying.

- What's the problem?

- What's the problem? Pick one.

- Look baby, I'm just trying to get some

so I can start my day off right.

- Start your day?

You just walked in here from God who knows where.

- Look man, I was out in the streets

trying to make some money for us.

Okay, where's the money?

- Look, things didn't quite pan out like I thought.

- Things didn't pan out.

The light bill is not panning out.

The water is not panning out, and the way it's looking,

me and you ain't panning out.

- Wait what?

Baby you know I got shit going on on these streets.

It's just taking a little time for it to come back.

- Why would you put money out in the streets

when you shoulda put money on the bills?

- I put money in the streets because I love you.

I'm gonna make this shit work for us.

- You love me? You love me.

If you loved me you wouldn't be coming in here

with your breath smelling like endless shrimp.

- Now look baby, now listen, listen baby,

this shit ain't what it look like and what you thinking.

I'm really out here trying to make some shit work.

You've been gambling.

Baby, nah look,

I only been out around those mother fuckers

'cause there's money around there.

Ain't been on no extra shit.

Ain't been no bullshit going on.

- I'm already working doubles.

I'm already trying to figure out

which bill I'm gonna pay every week.

Every week.

So you think I'm about to sit up here

and wait on you to get yourself together,

a 30-year-old man that wants to be a rapper?

- Yo man, listen,

the coldest rappers in the game right now are over 30.

- Mmhmm. - Kendrick Drake. Cole.

What, like Future, like what, the list goes on.

What you talking about? - Mmhmm,

you wanna know difference between them and you?

Them niggas was rich 10 years ago.

Them niggas was on. We off.

This the last time

I'm trying to figure this stuff out by myself.

You figure it out.

So what you...

Playin' with me.

What you cookin' today?

- What? Oh.

I'm not cookin' nothing.

I'm not gonna lift a finger,

and I'm gonna eat while I'm out.

- So what about me? - What about you?

What about me?

- Girl you still on this same shit?

I told you I got things under control.

- No, control takes money,

and it's men out there that got it.

- Hold on, you think them niggas out there

are fuckin' with you, huh?

Them niggas don't want shit from you but some pussy.

I can promise you that. - Okay, and what do you want?

A kitchen with a hole in it?

A toilet that does not flush?

And you still smell like some badass pussy.

Come on

♪ It's a no version ♪

♪ Two badass ho, why you actin' nervous ♪

♪ Mo' shake, less mouth, who this bitch person ♪

♪ But I'm here with the tools, some bitch bangin' ♪

♪ Take me to the back room, gimme lip service ♪

♪ I mean neck service, let me see you ♪

♪ Thick booty, oh me, let me see you twerk it ♪

♪ Somebody give this bitch a ring 'cause it's all workin' ♪

♪ Throw that ass in the circle, get that shit hurt ♪

♪ Left cheek, right cheek, do it like she says it ♪

♪ Make that pole work it, make them hos nervous ♪

♪ She got her own bag, she keep her toes perfect ♪

♪ Bitch, let me see you work it ♪

♪ Toot that ass up, bitch, just the note version ♪

♪ Ah, woo, let me see you twerk it ♪

♪ Fuck it up one time, further your purpose ♪

♪ Fuck it up one time, why you actin' nervous ♪

♪ Fuck it up two times, show me your purpose ♪

- How the fuck are you asleep and you broke?

- What the fuck?

Girl, I told you, I got some shit in the works.

- Okay so what does that mean in the meantime?

- In the meantime? - In the meantime.

- I don't know.

Fuck did you even come here?

You was with some nigga, huh?

- Actually I left before I put belt to ass.

- Whatever. - Well, whatever.

But I ran into my uncle and he said that he'll hire you.

So.

- Me working a job is not a good look for me.

People know who the fuck I am.

- Not a good look?

Oh so being broke is a good look.

That's your look. That's your favorite color, hmm?

Okay.

Oh. Mm.

Hello? Can you get the door?

Or do I gotta get that too?

Get up and get the door.

- Look man, if it ain't about no money,

right now, ain't no good time.

Oh my God.

- Hold on, Sir.

So, so, so you saying I won a second chance lottery?

- And it's for $10 million.

- $10 million.

- See, I told you I have money on here.

Let's go. - Fly baby.

No, hold on, hold on. What's the catch?

What's the catch? What's the catch?

- It's roulette. - Mmhmm, what that mean?

That sounds crazy. What's that?

- It sound like it mean we got the money.

Where do I sign? - No, hold on.

What's the catch?

- It's quite simple really, you sign the papers,

$10 million cash goes into your account.

The catch is, somebody you don't know has to die.

- See? Oh hell no. - Hold on.

- No. - Hey hold on.

You said somebody you don't know.

- I assure you, you won't know them.

- No. - Sir, where do I sign?

- No. - Bro, where the pen at?

I'll sign that contract right now.

- No. Are you crazy?

- Babe, people get killed every day.

- This man could be the Devil himself.

- Babe, the Devil is not real, and if he fuckin' was,

he wouldn't be in our living room with $10 million.

- No, no.

You know what, Sir? Thank you so much.

You can see your way out. We need to discuss this more.

- Excuse me.

I'll let you two discuss this very important matter.

But here is slight advance,

should you decide to sign the papers and keep it.

Okay.

- If not, just simply return it, and I'll leave,

and you'll never see me again, as if you ever knew me.

Sir, all I need is a second to talk to her,

quick, thank you.

Girl, what the fuck is you doin'? Look at this money.

Baby, just hear me out. - No

- Look baby, there's people that we don't even know

dying right now as we speak.

- Okay, and that has nothing to do with us,

but if we sign that contract,

it will have everything to do with us.

No.

- Don't you see this one thing can change our life forever,

for the better?

- Don't you think that one thing can change our life

for the worse forever?

You want to deal with that? Goodnight.

- Girl, where'd you go? - Hey baby.

- Hold on, wait, what? You spent the money?

But I, hold on, I thought you said that we ain't spending-

- I know, I know, I know what I said.

I'm just so tired of

So I went out and got me something.

- Well it do look good. So that's what we doing?

- Yes. - What?

Hell yeah. - Mmhmm,

let me show you what I got you.

- Rolex?

Better be one of them...

♪ Hey shout out David ♪

- What you all do? What you all do?

That's the right stuff. Hold on.

Don't play with me.

You know, when when you really getting money and shit,

and a bank fuck with you for real and shit, you feel me?

Like you won't get that regular honey with these,

regular ass

You get these new crispies bighead honey.

You get the big face.

Now that's that little money you giving

ain't no mother fuckin' money.

I told that lady at the bank.

I need all my shit facing the same way.

Guess what she did here?

Look, look, look. Hold on, what the fuck is this?

Hold on, look, look, look, drop that, drop this back.

I'm gonna show y'all what we do

when they fuck us and when they fuck us.

What's up? Right here, look.

Gotta be a gentleman. Hold on.

Let me excuse myself. You gotta be a gentleman for the lady.

You gotta let the seat up.

I walk in there, do the little shit everywhere guy.

You heard me, my baby?

But anyway, when they supposed to give you your money

any mother fuckin' way,

you know they got something up with you.

They hate you. They they got some bad for...

They don't want the energy.

They don't want that nigger's energy.

Throw that shit down the toilet, man.

Fuck them and their money. Fuck them and their money.

And fuck them and their money.

We gettin' it. We ain't having this shit

This shit ain't about shit.

Look, I don't want none of this shit.

I told that bitch I want all my hundreds

facing the same way, going the same way, man.

Tell that lady get her mother fuckin' shit together

and do her job.

You know she new.

Get your ass down there.

Stop playin' with me, and fire that bitch next week.

When I come in here,

she better not be the same nigger that's at the door.

Oh uh,

so, so, so when do the rest of the money hit the account?

- It's already there.

You wanna celebrate?

Yeah, we're big time winners.

- I really do have to run.

I have a whole lot of winners

I have to deliver good news to.

- Hold on, a lot of winners?

- So who was these winners?

- Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't know them.

What the...

Hm?

Oh my God. - Hold on, what you...

- Don't you.. - Who is this nigger?

- In other news today,

a couple dies mysteriously after winning the lottery.

More news as things develop.

It's just different.

You know, zebras don't shower.

- Oh. - You don't believe it,

watch the all National Geographic

♪ Hey, shout out David. ♪