All language subtitles for Johnny.Bravo.S02E12.El.Bravo.Magnifico.-.Johnny.O.&.Juliet.-.Clan.of.the.Cave.Boob.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-SA89

One, two, three.

Way there.

That's it.

Man, I'm pretty.

Do the monkey with me.

And that's why, to a true ninja,
everything is a weapon.

Even this lowly breakfast sausage.

Um, who are you?

See?

Didn't expect that, did you? Where's
Master Hama? I told you Master Hama ate

bad clam, so I'm in charge.

Now, which one of you maggots thinks he
can take me?

You, runty kid. Get up here and show me
what you've got.

Don't be afraid to hurt me.

And cover up.

His

chin

is weak, but his skills are deadly.

Dismissed. Loser.

I am out of here, jerk.

Hey,

mister, no dogs allowed.

Many pardon, senor. I am looking for the
karate master.

Let it be me, Frenchie. I have been
searching far and wide for a man such as

to defend my village against a vicious
bandito.

Why don't you just defend yourselves?

We are a village of terrible cowards.

Even the meowing of the tiny kitten
makes us cry like little girls.

Boo. Okay,

your story checks out.

So, will you help us, senor?

I don't suppose your village is a
glorious paradise where women abound and

nachos flow like wine.

Ah, si.

Then let's ride, amigo.

Well, here we are.

This is your town? Where is everybody?

They're hiding. I told you, we are a
village of cowards.

It's all right, everyone.

This is the hombre who's going to help
us.

Welcome to Santo Busito, senor.

Ow.

Please accept this complimentary gift
basket of shell taco shells and

Yeah, never mind that. Where are all the
chicks?

Our daughters are lost away out of fear
for the bandito muy caliente.

What? No chicks?

I've had it with you crazy Germans. I'm
out of here.

Hey, where's

everyone gone?

He's muy caliente.

He pillages the village every day at 3 o
'clock.

Somebody hide me.

Señor, if you defeat muy caliente, the
senoritas will surround you like the

tortilla surrounds the enchilada.

All right. But to win, I will require
three things. A magnifying glass, a bowl

of rice, and the feather of a young
condor.

Bang, bang. Bang, bang.

Caliente.

Hold it, hombre.

Daddy Bingo? Daddy?

Your horse's name is Bingo?

Si, Bingo is his name -o. So, who are
you and what do you want?

Come again?

Who are you and what? I'm not getting
you.

Hold on.

I had to take out my retailer.

So, who are you?

I'm the guy who's going to stop your
reign of terror.

And how do you propose to do that?

I'll give you this and some rice and a
pretty feather.

Now I'm going to pinch you and punch you
and feed you to my horse.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Well, all right, then.

Quick,

use this lasso. Thanks.

Ah, chica, Caliente has not seen you
around before.

Yes, well, can't talk now. I have
tortillas in the oven.

Come, Conchita, give muy Caliente a
little kiss.

But I'm too shy and sweaty.

Surely a girl as pretty as you has
kissed a man before.

What? It was New Year's Eve. The cherry
cola made me giddy.

Mario Lanza, I know that voice.

Now you've done it.

Now I will make you bark like the dog
you

are.

Never.

Now chirp like a parakeet.

Now make that clicking noise that
dolphins use to find things underwater.

Our champion is even more cowardly than
we are. See?

Compared to such a chicken, we are born
like the wolf. Get him, mi amigos!

That indio!

Look at that! Oh, look at my kissing
hand!

Careful of the hat!

Gracias,

Johnny Bravo. You have taught us never
to depend on any stranger to fight our

battles. For he may turn out to be a
useless jerk.

No problemo.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Hey, Mama Cetus. How'd you like a big
ol' helmet of refried Johnny?

My chihuahua.

Oh, no. I know them little dicks hurt.

Keep your eyes out for aphids, Johnny.

Eternal vigilance is our only defense
against those pests.

Oh, Mama, I feel stupid wearing that.
Why can't I be a nice macho

Incoming!

Oh,

look! New

neighbors!

Tossing the ottomans, dear.

Oh, I think we're going to love it here.

Bienvenido. Welcome to the neighborhood
of Bunny Bravo.

Mona Hirschbaum of the Teaneck
Hirschbombs.

Charmed. Johnny, be a dear and help Mrs.

Hirschbaum with her boxes.

I don't know.

Give me a dollar.

Mom, this is a box with all my tight
-fitting athletic wear, right?

That's my daughter, Julie.

She's single and plays the tuba like an
angel.

Well, aerate my roots and prune my
petals.

I think I'm in love.

I'll help you with your boxes, new
neighbor lady.

Oh, I'll be careful.

That shiferoad's an heirloom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, dear.

Oh, oh, oh. I'll just carry these in so
your gorgeous daughter can tell me where

to put them.

Oh,

look what you've done, you...

careless, clumsy, butterfingers.

No one talk to my Johnny that way. From
this moment on, the Bravos and the

Hearst bombs are mortal enemies.

Yeah, whatever.

Listen, I'm going to go in and stare at
your daughter.

Come, Johnny. I don't ever want you to
speak to these people again.

But I want to stare at Julie.

Dear Julie, I love you very, very, very,
very, very,

very much.

This is the house we will live in when
we get married.

This is you making me a sandwich.
Remember, no onions.

This is... Johnny! Are you talking to
that hearsebob girl?

No, Mama!

I'll bury the rest of your doll
collection.

Well, my six -foot reinforced concrete
wall is finished.

We'll never have to look at those
horrible Hirsch bombs again.

Oh, great.

Now what am I gonna do?

If you love someone, Johnny, you should
let them know.

What? You mean you think I should pull
Vault over the wall and onto her balcony

in a single bound?

Well, I... I'll do it!

Actually, I was gonna suggest a phone
call.

Look at her. She's like some...

Untouchable goddess.

Once I get this Bob's wire hung, those
horrible bravos won't dare to set a foot

on my property.

Here I come, my sweet patootie.

Ow.

Hello, Mrs. Hirschbaum.

You're looking lovely today.

Peanut, Mr. Foo -Foo, attack!

Oh, it's hopeless.

That wall is like some big concrete
barrier thing that keeps us apart.

Don't give up, Johnny.

Anything's possible if you really love
someone.

You mean I should use your bow and arrow
set to launch myself through the air

and into Julie's bedroom?

Um, not exactly. I'll do it.

Here I come, my brass bow and bonita.

I love you very much.

Why, Mrs. Hirschbaum, what a lovely day.

Would you happen to have a neck brace
and a cold compress I could borrow?

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

This is all your fault.

I'm not listening to any more of your
stupid advice.

But Johnny, I was only trying to help.

So you're saying I should rent a German
tank and take out the power lines

with... No, no, no, no, no. Johnny,
listen to me. There's only one option.

Find a way to make peace between the two
mamas.

Hmm.

It's just crazy enough to work.

Oh, McDonald had a farm.

E -I -E -I. Oh, my goodness.

B -I -N -G -O -N. Bingo was his name.
Oh, my heaven.

A -F -I -N -G.

Bunny, my begonias.

And my azaleas. One woman alone cannot
defeat these six -legged fiends. We've

got to join forces.

Mona Hirschbaum, let's tear down this
wall.

I'll get the pesticide. And I'll get the
big honking bug zapper I bought on sale

last week.

What's going on, Johnny? Well, I took
your advice and bought a 20 -gallon drum

of aphids and let them loose on the
lawn.

Coming your way, buddy.

Bring it on, girlfriend.

Yes, Mona.

What does this mean?

I have no idea.

It worked, Johnny. They're friends
again.

Yeah, and I still have 5 ,000 aphids
left. See?

Johnny, what are you? I confess.

I put aphids on your flowers so you'd
stop fighting. I did it.

Because I'm in love with your daughter.

Oh!

Is that the most precious thing you've
ever heard?

I would be proud to have a boy like you
chasing mindlessly after my daughter.

Mom, what's going on?

Julie? Yes, Johnny?

Say, you ain't going to end up looking
like your mama, are you? Excuse me?

Because you know you're sweet, but she
is... Pucker up.

All them tuba lessons are about to pay
off.

Maybe it will be better if we just move.

Keep in touch, dear.

Hey there, my little Etruscan
honeybunch. Your pearly

gladiator is here.

I saw I broke a hip.

That's it. Dig, Johnny. Your sweaty,
back -breaking labor may lead to my

greatest discovery yet. Why am I doing
all the digging?

Quiet, Johnny. This is science. There's
no complaining in science.

I thought you said we'd find scary
dinosaur skeletons here.

All we've found so far is an angry
muskrat, this priceless Egyptian

these sticks of dynamite.

No skeletons, huh?

Then what do you call this?

What the heck is that?

It's a fragment of the anterior toe bone
of a brachiated pooptosaurus.

So? So! So he stood over three feet tall
with nasty green eyes and an

annoying high -pitched roar.

Roar!

Roar!

Roar! I meant to do that.

Oh, my gosh! Look at that! Let me see!
Let me see! Let me see!

Johnny,

do you realize what you've just found?

No, but I'm sure you're going to yammer
on about it. It's an artifact from a

genuine Bravopithecus.

Perfectly preserved in amber.

Bravopithecus? That's right.

After the last ice age, this noble biped
bestrode these valleys like a colossus.

Wow. Did he fight a lot of scary
dinosaurs?

Loads of them.

Ah, but you probably don't care about
that.

But I do care. Tell me more, Carl.

Tell me the whole story.

Okay, a long time ago in a gene pool far
away, evolution had hit a bit of a

snag. Hey, Mama, bring me another
warthog sandwich.

Johnny, this is your kid's one today.

All you do is sit around the cave all
day and eat.

Hey, there's no pickles on this
sandwich.

Look around, Johnny. Everyone on the
block is evolving except you. Your

Grock just learned to use his opposable
thumbs.

And just last week, that nice Cro
-Banion boy, Carl, invented fire on the

Cook, you stupid marshmallow!

Yeah, but everybody hates him.

Johnny, me and some of the other cavemen
are concerned that your crummy attitude

might be angering the spirit world.

I'm afraid that unless you start pulling
your weight around here, we're going to

have to cast you out of the tribe.

Hey, man, if you got a point, could you
make it after lunch?

Boys.

He's ventured beyond the tree.

No one has ever gone that far and lived.

I'll show you all. I'll find a tribe
that accepts me for who I am. And when I

do, they'll probably make me king.

And I'll come back and make you all
dance around like stupid little monkeys.

Dang, I'm hungry.

Hey,

a nest. Nest means eggs.

Eggs means breakfast.

Breakfast, the most important meal of
the plasticine era.

Huh?

Oh, look at the cute little thing.

Where's your mama, little fellows?

Maybe this is where I belong. Caring for
these defenseless creatures.

Protecting them from the cold.

Teaching them how to make me a sandwich.

Oh, they like me.

Calm down, lady. I wasn't going to eat
them. Well, maybe the little one.

Whoa.

I wouldn't mind joining her tribe.

Hey, baby.

How's about letting me be your missing
link to love?

Oh, I get it. You're one of those
feminine cave women who like to make the

move. No!

Wait! Isn't there any way I can win your
heart?

Well, you could help me get rid of the
giant dinosaur that's been terrorizing

me. Anything's better than being thrown
off this cliff.

Where is the ugly varmint? At the bottom
of this cliff.

No!

I'll take it.

Now, where would I be if I were a giant,
scary dinosaur?

Maybe I can get a better view from this
hill.

Man, this hill stinks.

And it's all rough and scaly.

And, uh, breathing.

This won't end well.

The boys don't like to miss a minute of
the Manhunt's Warthog Show.

Hold on. This part's hilarious.

You mean all you do all day is sit
around and watch colorful images on a

square thing?

No. Sometimes we walk over to the buffet
table and make a big cheesy plate of

nachos. Big cheesy plate?

I found my home!

There's a new link in the food chain,
and it's crunchy.

Scoot over, fellas.

And that's why we have snack food.

So did Bravo Pithy Guy ever go back to
his tribe? Where'd they get the

microwaves to cook the nachos? Did
cavemen brush their teeth with rocks?

Uh -huh, uh -huh. And then the Ice Age
hit, and people used snowballs for

and polar bears directed traffic, and
ravenous man -eating chickens roamed the

prairies.

None of that story's true, is it, Carl?

No. I made it all up because I crave
attention.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it?