Original subtitles

(INTRIGUING MUSIC)

(WIND BLUSTERS)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(GUNFIRE)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC BUILDS)

- (PANTS HEAVILY)

- Freeze!

Turn around.

Who are you?

- Me?

- Yeah.

- My name is...

uh...

- Are you trying to think up a fake name? - No.

- Well, it seems like you are. - Well, I'm not. OK?

My name...

is...

Michael Riviera.

- Michael Riviera? - Mm-hm.

- Is that your real name? - No.

- Well, what's your real name? - Michael Brown.

- Yeah, Riviera is a lot cooler. - Yeah.

- I'm gonna write down Brown, though, because this is an official government document.

- OK.

- So you want to be a spy? - Yes.

- Correct.

Second question ?

how many stairs did you walk up to get to this office? - I took the elevator.

- Good move. Preserve your energy.

Next question ? how many buttons on my shirt?

- Uh... I don't know. I didn't think I'd get asked that. - You can count them.

This is a counting test. It's not an observation thing. - Oh, OK.

Well, uh, one at the top.

Two, three, four, five, six... - I'll stand up. There you go.

- Yeah, I can't tell because you're tucked in.

Seven. - Seven? - Seven buttons.

- Yeah, that's correct. Seven. Yeah, OK. - Do you want to count mine?

- No. I'm kind of like the boss here, so I don't need to count them. - No. Of course

- I've got good news, Michael. There are five spots and only three applicants.

So...

you're in. - Yes!

Thank you, sir. You won't regret this.

- Yeah, I know. There's only three applicants, so I can't regret it. This was out of my ha

(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACK)

- Good news? - Well, let's just put it this way.

It was good news. - Of course it was good news. There were only three applicants.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

Good luck in there, guys. I'm sure you'll do great.

- We will do great because there are only three applicants.

- Well, I hope to see you both at training camp on Monday.

- You will, because there are only (CHUCKLES) three applicants.

- I'll cross my fingers for you. - Well, there's no need.

- I'll have them crossed. - I wish you wouldn't.

- Welcome to training camp.

Today marks the start of the hardest two weeks of your life. - Two weeks?

- What's the matter with that? Is it two short? - Yeah.

In most countries, to become a spy, it would take years. - I don't know what to tell you.

- Well, (STAMMERS) it's fine. Continue.

- OK. So first, I would like each of you to step forward,

say your name, say where you're from, and then something interesting.

Let's start with you.

- My name is Michael Anderson. I'm from Christchurch.

And, oh, something interesting about me is that my father is Todd Anderson.

- You're Ando's son? - Correct.

- Wow! That's awesome. - Yeah, yeah.

- I mean, he's one of the best spies we've ever had here. - He's a legend, right?

- You know what? It is an honour to meet you.

- Well, always a joy telling people that I'm his son.

- So, next,

um, the woman.

- My name is Sue Nightingale. I'm from Wellington, and I speak four languages.

- Which four? - French, Spanish, Japanese and English.

- French. Bonjour. Je m'appelle Michael.

- Je sais, idiot. Tu viens de dire ca pendant ton tour.

- Very cool. Very cool. - Very cool. Well done.

OK.

And you?

- (EXHALES HEAVILY) My name is Michael Riviera.

I'm from Nelson.

And...

- Uh, something interesting.

Uh, anything?

What is your favourite movie? - I can't think of a movie.

- Uh, do you have any pets? - I don't know. - How could you not know that?

- Do you like sports? - I'm not sure. - What?!

- Anything. - I can speak four languages?

- That was my one. - You just stole her one.

- My dad is Todd Anderson. - No, he's my dad, you piece of shit. Stop stealing our ones.

- I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on.

- OK, well, it seems like you were having some kind of mental problem.

- I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean to steal your ones. I just? I couldn't think of anything inter

- Well, that? that is kind of interesting. - It's not, really.

But, um, we should begin.

Let's get spying!

- MARLON WILLIAMS: ? Too late, too late to tell you

? I'm gonna build a world around you.

(GUNFIRE)

? Too far, too far away for me to pull you in and show you

? just what I

? can do with lover who tries

? to bend with me too.

? What's chasing you?

? Ooh-ooh, ooh-hoo!

? What's chasing you?

? Ooh-ooh, ooh-hoo! ?

- Dear Diary,

I'm one week into my training to become a professional spy.

My fitness is now at an all-time high, and I'm very much enjoying my time here.

I'm making friends and memories that will last a life? - ANDERSON: Shut the hell up!

- Sorry. I thought you were asleep. - I was. You woke me up with your loud talking!

- I was just writing my diary. - I know what you were writing

because you were saying it out loud as you were writing it.

Just write it down! You don't need to also say it out loud.

- Sorry. It's just my diary. - He knows it's your diary, Michael. You said, 'Dear Diar

The diary is not the problem. It's the fact that you're saying it out loud as you write

- I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean to upset you. I just? I just love my diary.

- That's OK. I'm just glad to hear that you're enjoying yourself,

because I try to make the training as fun as possible.

- Oh, it's been so fun. - It has been really fun, Damien.

- It's been fun! I admit it, it's been really fun.

But right now, it's 3am, and I want to go to sleep!

- Jeez, psych it out. - I'm sleeping in the common room.

- Oh, fun. I'll come. - Oh, for f...

- Firstly, thanks to Damien for running a bloody great course.

- Thank you, Damien. - Thank you.

- Michael, Sue, Michael, good news. You all passed.

Congrats. (SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

But not all of you can graduate top of the class.

This year's recipient for the Todd Anderson top-of-the-class meat pack

is Michael... - Yes!

- ...Anderson. - Shit!

- My man!

- Where are you going, Michael? Sit back down, please.

(INTRIGUING MUSIC)

- Ooh! Close.

- Sorry. - That's OK.

Ah, unlucky. - (SIGHS)

- He's ready to see you if you wanna... head on through.

- One sec. - K.

- Ah, dammit.

- Ah.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Isabel, I was wondering,

do you have any plans this evening? - No, I don't think so.

- Well, I was wondering if you would like to go see a movie with me tonight.

- Oh. Um,

that sounds really fun, but I have a boyfriend, and he might?

- Really good.

- Huh? - Really, really good.

- What do you mean? - He sounds amazing. I'm jealous.

Not of him, of you. He really sounds like boyfriend material.

Listen, I already bought the tickets.

I want you to take this boyfriend that I've been hearing so much about and show him a good time

I already saw the movie last night. I was checking to see if it's good.

Trust me, it is.

You'll love it.

From your pal Michael.

I gotta go to a meeting now.

- Take a look at this.

- What am I looking at? - This is a photograph of Norman White.

- OK, so either the flash on the camera is way too bright or this photo is way overexposed.

- Turn it over. - OK, I see what you're saying.

- He's the third-richest man in New Zealand.

Born in Australia, moved here as a teenager.

Now he owns an agricultural supplies empire.

The man on his right is Dennis Green.

- I don't know who that is. - He's the head of the AIS. - Ah, OK.

- Do you know what that stands for? - Yeah.

- What does it stand for? - Huh?

- What does it stand for? - AIS? - Mm-hm.

- Amazing? - It's the Australian Intelligence Service.

- OK. - In what world, Michael, does A stand for 'amazing?'

- Sorry, I was confused. - Well, I was confused when, two days ago, I received the nex

- So this photo is backwards, so I'll just. .. turn it over, yes. - Turn it over again.

That's Dennis Green arriving at the Queenstown airport three days ago. Take a look at the nex

- It's white again. Just joking. It's just backwards. - Just turn it over.

That is a house owned by Norman White ? just out of Queenstown.

We believe Dennis Green may be staying at the house.

- Well, what's the head of the Amazing Australian Intelligence Service doing in Queenstown?

- 'Amazing' is not part of it. But that is exactly what we want you to find out.

Our South Island officer will meet you at the hotel. You leave in two hours.

Dress warm.

(MAJESTIC MUSIC)

- Mr Somerset, welcome.

Mr Somerset, I trust you had an easy journey.

- Sorry. Wrong guy.

- No, I'm pretty sure you're the man I was sent here to meet.

- My name is Michael Riviera. That's not what you said.

- SOFTLY: Michael... that's your alias.

Did you have a look at the dossier? - Big time.

Yeah, that was a great read.

Remind me of your name again. - I'm Misty Atwood. I'm the agency's South Island divisi

Any time you're in the South Island and you need anything, I'm your girl.

- My name is Michael Riviera, but you can call me... just by my first name.

- Michael? - Yeah. No one really calls me Michael Riviera in conversation.

It's? It's faster to just go... Michael.

- Actually, while we're here, let's go with Simon Somerset,

if that's OK. - OK.

- That's what your reservation is under. - Got it.

- Do you want to say it a few times, just really get it in your bones? - Nah. Trust me, I'm good

- OK, well, I'll leave you to it then.

Let me know if you need anything. - Thank you.

- It was lovely meeting you. - You too.

- Bye. - See ya.

(LIGHT MUSIC)

- Welcome to Grand Remarkables Hotel, sir. Are you checking in? - Yes, please.

- Great. Name?

Your name, sir? - My name? - Yes.

- I'm not sure. - You're not sure? - No, I? I said I'm not Sean.

As in, my name is not Sean. - OK, well, we don't have any reservations under Sean.

- Good. Very good.

Maybe could you say some of the names that do have reservations? - Sure. Jill Sharpe,

David Henare, Simon Somerset? - That's it. Simon Somerset.

- OK, great.

And did Simon book the room for you? - No, I'm Simon Somerset.

- You are Simon Somerset? - Mm-hm.

- Right. Well, you will be stay? - My name is Simon Somerset.

- Great.

Welcome to the hotel, Mr Somerset. You will be staying in room 402.

- Simon Somerset thanks you.

(CURIOUS MUSIC)

Inspect the bed.

Check for any bedbugs ?

by which I mean insects and not...

microphones.

I love coming to Queenstown for a business trip.

My job ? importing cars.

My name is Simon Somerset.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(SMASH!)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(PANTS)

(PHONE RINGS)

This is Michael. - Hi. Is Mr Somerset there?

- This is him. - You just said, 'This is Michael.'

- I think you'll find I said, 'This is my call.' As in, this is my room.

This is my life. This is my call.

I'm Simon Somerset.

- OK.

Uh, bit of a weird question, but did you shoot a gun in your room? - Very interesting questi

And to that question, I will say...

I don't think? I don't think I did.

Is that everything? - No. I have a message from your friend in room 208.

They'd like to meet you at the bar at 8 o'clock. - I'll be there.

Actually, one more thing. Uh, could you send someone? My room is not up to Simon Somerset Sta

It looks like maybe a bird got in.

- OK. - Maybe the bird shot a gun.

(INTRIGUING MUSIC)

- Mr Somerset. - Sue.

- I think you're confused.

I'm Mary Smith. - That's right. And I'm Simon Somerset.

- I know. I said Mr Somerset. - I'm sorry. I'm having a shocker.

- OK, here's the plan.

Tomorrow at 0500 hours?

- What is that in normal time? - 5am.

- Can we just use normal time? - Sure.

Misty will pick us up at 5am? - I just really struggle with 24 hour time.

- That's fine. Totally fine.

As I was saying, the three of us will be picked up at 5am?

- Ugh, that's so early! - Yeah. It is. Yeah.

- Wait, did you say three of us? - Mm-hm. Yes.

- Who's the third? - Me, you numbnuts.

- Don't call me that. - Why not? You are one. - Will you both please shut up? OK?

The plan is, all three of us will be picked up at 0500 hours? - We don't know what that mean

- 5am! We'll be picked up at 5am!

- Say that then.

- What? - Huh?

Continue.

- We'll drive 45 minutes into the mountains.

We'll park up at a viewpoint, and from there, the two of you will take off on your skis.

It'll take you 20 minutes to reach the valley where the house is.

Anderson, you'll set up camp somewhere with a good view of the house.

And then, Michael...

(THROUGH RADIO) you're on your own. Enter the house and find anything you can.

We need to find out what the Australians are doing in New Zealand.

- (EXHALES HEAVILY)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(GRUNTS)

- Oh! Are you OK?

- Yeah. I'm fine.

- You sure? - No, I'm all good.

- I think he fell over. - Is he OK? - I think?

Are you OK, mate? - I'm all good. Just get these back on, and I'll be? I'll be off.

- OK. - I'm good.

- Back to it, then. - I'm fine.

- Is he hurt? - I? I don't really want to ask.

(TENSE MUSIC)

- Hey, numbnuts, there's a guard on you in, like, five seconds.

- WHISPERS: Who are you talking to? - You, numbnuts. That's why you hid against the wal

- No, actually, because I heard him coming.

Because you said numbnuts, so I assumed you were talking to me. - Can you guys please shut

Anderson, can you see any open windows?

- There's actually a door open on the balcony.

- Michael, can you climb up to the balcony?

- I can try. - There's a ladder.

- I'm in. - SUE: What do you see? - I think I'm in a bedroom.

- ANDERSON: Is there a bed in the room? - Yeah.

- Then yeah, I'm pretty sure you're in a bedroom. (CHUCKLES) - Shut up.

- I'm the lookout, but... OK.

- (SIGHS) Anderson.

Anderson, don't shut up.

(SIGHS) Anderson.

Michael, tell him you don't want him to shut up. - No, I do you want him to shut up.

- You need a lookout. This is so dangerous!

Sorry. - That's OK.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- MAN: We do need a hundred. I said a hundred, and I mean a hundred.

Is that clear? Right.

Now, the target is the Foreign Minister of India ?

Swaran Danaraj.

- Foreign Minister of India.

- He's arriving in Christchurch tomorrow for the World Unity Games.

We'll be sending one of our best men ? Magnus. - Magnus?

- SUE: Michael, how are you getting on? - Really good.

Luckily, this keyhole is massive.

Honestly, I have never seen a keyhole this big.

- Hold it right there. (GUN COCKS)

- Tell me you've ever seen a keyhole that big. - Put your hands up.

- OK, but you got to admit, that is an abnormally large keyhole.

Have you seen the key? I would love to see the key. - Shut up.

- Who are you talking to? - There is a guard, and he is pointing a gun at me.

- Who are you talking to? - I have a, uh, radio earpiece in.

See?

(RADIO AUDIO WHINES) - Ow!

- You OK? - Yeah? I just? I think he threw his earpiece at someone.

Anderson, can you see anything?

Anderson? Anderson, you better frickin' not still be shutting up. I will kill you.

- OK, OK.

No, I can't see him.

- Michael.

(SIGHS) Michael?

- No sign of him. - Michael, come in.

- I see him.

- Well, what's happening? - He's running out of the house, but he's being chased.

He's now whacking a guy with his ski poles.

He's back on the move, but he's got company. (MAN SHOUTS)

- What do you mean? - There's a guard in pursuit.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

The guard is armed.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(GUNFIRE)

- Freeze!

Turn around.

Who are you?

- Me? - Yeah.

- My name is...

- Are you trying to think up a fake name? - No.

- Well, it seems like you are. - Well, I'm not. OK?

My name...

is...

Simon.

- Surname?

- Ooh, uh...

Somerset! Simon Somerset.

(GUNFIRE)

- (GRUNTS)

- Oh! - (GURGLES)

- Oh, wow. Holy smokes.

You're bleeding.

Are you OK?

Ohhh.

Captions by Jessie Puru.

Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.

www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2026

- SUE: Is Michael OK? - ANDERSON: He's fainted, and he's rolling down the hill.

- He fell over? - He's still falling.

It's kind of crazy.

The momentum.

- Has he? Has he stopped? - He's actually still falling.

- OK.

Uh, is it, like, a bad fall or...?

- It's almost turned into a... sliding situation.

It's more of a slide.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0