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My father has always been in love with books.

Mother told us that during the war,

he was hidden in an attic,

him and hundreds of books.

At least that's what mom said.

He never talked about it.

It was the maid,

or so the story goes.

Their own maid turned them in.

Well, someone was bound to sooner or later.

They took them away at dinnertime

with the whole town watching.

Luckily for us, they didn't get my father.

Maybe not so luckily for him.

Not quite right, is it?

Well, suited like a book for rich men

who hate books.

No, it's not heavy enough

for the trim size of the page.

No. It should be rougher.

Rougher? Thank you.

Rougher than this?

Rougher...

You want to feel the type pushing in.

We don't have machines for that.

We don't need it.

That's it.

Gonna get expensive.

Perfecto.

Perfecto. That was mom's word.

She didn't use it very often, but when she did,

he knew he had gotten something right.

Isaac.

It's Cora Cahn.

It's so good to see you again. Cora Cahn.

I was on the library committee with your wife.

I was so sorry to hear about her.

She was wonderful, wonderful.

I've been through it too, you know.

Um, the loneliness...

Yes, thank you very much. Now, if you'll excuse...

Oh, we wrote you a note, the library committee.

Wouldn't you like to take Reena's place

on the preservation committee in her memory?

It would mean so much to us.

You know, to keep the Geldhart name.

My father is still the single most

important publisher of serious work in this country

in my opinion.

Art From the Spanish Civil War.

That is a big...

An Anthology of Poetry

by Political Prisoners in the Third World.

We won an Amnesty award for...

UNESCO.

An Oral History of the Children of Hiroshima.

That...

Would you like a copy of that?

Mr. Geldhart, the list of books are truly somewhat...

Yes, I know, I know.

You'd have to call them serious.

Morbid is the word, actually.

Look, we are well aware

of the financial burden on subject matters...

The numbers are not terribly encouraging.

Kreeger Geldhart Publishing

desperately needs to diversify its list.

Couldn't agree with you more,

and that's why we're planning to move into a new phase...

New ideas, new subjects, life now,

today's complexities.

You're turning down our loan.

We are prepared to offer you

exclusive worldwide rights to our entire backlist

in exchange for the loan.

I mean, when you think about the whole world,

surely there's someone out there who gets this.

Louis is in your office.

Well, you didn't give him my edits, did you?

I heard him yelling, so watch out.

My God, couldn't you at least stall him?

How long has he been in there?

You're only two hours late.

I think this is a good first meeting, gentlemen.

An open discussion, right? Mr. Otani, I want to thank you.

Aaron, when you have a moment, please.

Your advice was sage, and anyone would do well to follow it.

So... So, goodbye, and thanks.

Boy, really, you were just...

Hey, I'll be right with you, okay?

Thank you so much again.

I hope you... Yeah.

Hi.

Hi. Uh, this is, um, this is...

Gene Byck.

Sure, I know, Gene.

What's the skinny?

He thought he should come along.

So you got an agent.

Well, this morning...

I'm over the moon about this book.

Yeah, so am I.

I know. Calm down. So where? Where?

Where do you want me to go now?

You cannot use my office. That is not your clubhouse.

So please, just come right over here and sit down.

Who gave you permission to edit this material?

All I can see is red.

Louis, I am trying to do you a favor,

and you bring me 5,000 pages.

Now you tell me, who would publish such a thing?

You have no idea. It's lunatic.

My phone is ringing off the...

Harry Fitzhugh from Knopf

is screaming into my voicemail.

We're talking Anne Rice numbers, Aaron.

Now come on, humor me.

I mean, this isn't what you guys do well.

So...

What do we guys do well, Gene?

If I had a book that was really, really depressing,

um, like a novel set in a kibbutz

or a mangrove swamp,

or maybe an oral history of the wives of Mexican muralists...

Gene... Val's book is a funny, smart,

sophisticated, contemporary take on the zeitgeist.

I'm not doing this with you.

Everybody in this town knows your company's on the ropes.

I mean, those guys in the elevator

are not here for a ping-pong championship.

Can you play in this game?

Val.

Could I talk to you alone for a minute, please?

Phoebe, would you get Mr. Byck something to drink?

I mean, why would you bring your agent?

He's an agent. He's not literally my agent.

He's an agent at an agency.

That man in there is the angel of death.

He said I had a voice. You do have a voice, Val.

It happens to be annoying me right now,

but you do have a voice.

He loved the book.

He just wanted to be around it.

He just wanted to be around it? He actually said that?

I didn't know this guy was gonna turn into Meyer Lansky.

Look, if I did anything offensive, it's...

It's that I don't know.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I didn't need to...

To get involved.

Jesus.

Oh, great.

Read this tonight. Everybody's after this.

He's off to Knopf if we say no.

So that's the kid with the big black Frankenstein shoes?

Tell me what happened. Did you meet him at the disco?

What does that mean?

You gotta be a particular kind of guy

to wear rivets on your shoes. Yeah, yeah.

You have a true sociopath's eye for footwear, Pop.

The bigger the shoe, the smaller the book.

What's this?

That's the IG Farben,

the first go at it.

It's a limited edition.

A limited edition of the Farben?

A commemorative edition. Commemorative? Of what?

Of having sold 17 copies?

What is this?

How dare you cut one scintilla of my book!

Louis, we're trying to have a discussion here, please.

Scintilla? Louis, did you use the word scintilla with me?

Dad... There's nothing left of...

Of the experiments by Mengele on the twins.

Look, please... Louis, I'm trying to help you.

Can we ever finish a conversation in this office?

Kreeger Geldhart had always been known

as a mom and pop store.

You went in every day, you fought it out,

and somehow it kept on going.

It was always expected that we kids

would help out around the place.

I was the only one who didn't wriggle out.

♪ You could be so terribly ♪

♪ And nastily upset ♪

♪ You could have the meanest ♪

♪ Little pimple you could get ♪

♪ I would still Believe in you ♪

♪ And hope that You would let me be ♪

♪ Your special ♪

♪ Extraordinary friend ♪

♪ I'm your special ♪

♪ Extraordinary friend ♪

♪ When you're feeling low ♪

♪ And like You might be all alone ♪

♪ Maybe what you need Is to get out there... ♪

♪ Petit poulet ♪

♪ Tout c'est okay ♪

♪ Maintenant bebe ♪

♪ Tout c'est okay ♪

♪ The life you left behind ♪

♪ Won't find you ♪

♪ The love you kept inside Will come... ♪

Time's up. So, what's missing?

You need a foreground?

No, Stewart. That's art class. No.

No, think Almstead,

and think how he transformed nature.

So, what's missing?

What's the one thing

all landscape architecture requires?

There has to be a social motive?

Yes. Yes.

So it needs...

Us!

♪ Petit poulet... ♪

It doesn't work without us.

It needs us!

The phone! Somebody get the phone!

♪ Tout c'est okay... ♪

Yeah?

It's your dad.

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

Yeah. Drawing.

Yep. Yep, yep.

Uh-huh.

So. Right.

Well, lucky us.

Another book we don't have to publish.

Boy, I'm telling you, this thing... What?

It's crapola.

But we'll have the last laugh. Wait a minute.

- Solved. Next. - Dad!

Dad, hold it!

Dad, look, we can't pass on this.

we have to publish it.

It's gonna be a big book. It's gonna do big numbers.

It's good. We have to.

We have to? Tell me, Aaron,

exactly why do we have to?

Because we do.

Because it's filled with poetry?

Because it's deeply ironic? What did you think?

- Oh, boy. - What's the big deal?

- It's a lousy book. - It is not lousy.

Please forget about the manuscripts, will you?

Just stick to the money problems.

You asked me to come on here, Dad.

We are hemorrhaging money.

What are we gonna do? Please tell me.

Do you have an idea?

Yes.

I'm going to publish this.

This.

Yes. Four volumes on the Nazi medical experiments.

That's it. We're going to put everything behind it.

Are you seriously proposing this to me?

I'm not proposing anything, Aaron.

I've decided.

You've decided? This'll sink us.

Are you sure you don't want to discuss this with me?

Find a way to do both?

I'm quite sure.

Thank you, Aaron.

Thank you, Aaron.

Aaron.

This, too, shall pass.

♪ If your C... ♪

Hi. Is that Sarah Geldhart?

Right there.

♪ If you try But you can't quite connect ♪

♪ Don't cry If you don't know how ♪

♪ To make a C ♪

♪ If you want to know how ♪

♪ Call a cow ♪

Moo!

♪ Call the cow Call the cow, call the cow ♪

♪ Call the cow ♪

♪ Moo! ♪

Cut, cut! Thank you!

Perfect, but, Sarah,

Sarah, I'm sorry to interrupt you again.

Well, Max, can I... Can I get... Just get through once?

But I think you're missing,

um, there's a little filigree in there on...

♪ Correct ♪

You hear it?

♪ Connect ♪

Okay.

And you don't need to tart it up with a lot of head wagging.

Well, I didn't... I didn't know.

I mean, I'm...

Relax. Let the words do the work.

Uh, Max? Do I have to wear the nose?

Absolutely yes. And, Peter, dear,

your moo's sounding a bit consumptive.

She's a healthy, happy cow.

Excuse me, sir, would you mind stepping out for a bit?

No visitors. It's hard with visitors.

Max, he's my brother.

That's my brother.

Moo.

I'm not rushing. The dog is pulling.

Come on, Emily. Emily, stay. I mean slow.

Is there a command for slow? Have you tried arsenic, dear?

Oh, sweetie, Emily loves you. Hey, slower!

Can we go a little slower? I'm just asking you to read it.

Aaron, why do I always have to be the tiebreaker?

Look, I have to get Emily home. We're going...

Where are we going? Tristan and Isolde.

I thought I hated opera. Taxi!

You have to do something.

Mother left us her shares in this company.

We have a responsibility. It's your company, Sarah.

All right, but listen, I told you.

We warned you. Martin and I warned you

not to go work there, you remember?

Please don't do "I told you so."

I told you so.

We're late.

I'll read it. Get a life.

You had Hodgkin's, huh? Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Full remission. That's lucky.

Mmm. Yeah, I guess.

Trust me, that's lucky.

Do you still get tired?

Of course he's tired. He's the son of Isaac Geldhart.

Look, doc, no bruises.

I'm not kidding about this.

I check my whole body every day.

Mercy tells me you've lost a little weight.

That's a no-no, Martin.

Could you maybe leave me enough blood to get home or something?

You do look a little rundown.

Who'd have thought remission was as big a pain in the ass

as the disease itself?

You've got a short memory, kid.

I don't remember that you were such a happy young sick person.

Dad!

Dad.

I'm here. It's all right.

I'm here.

What about stress?

What about stress? Come on, Martin.

You avoiding stress?

Well, like family, you mean?

Heh! That's a factor.

Mmm. Could you write me a note?

Oh, Emily?

Emily, come here!

Come here. Sit. Sit down.

That dog needs a bath.

She slept on my cashmere.

I smell like mutton.

I'm seeing my wife today.

Oh, yes. We have to be very careful.

She might think you're dating a Schnauzer.

Sorry. That was shitty.

No, that's very good. You're getting quite good.

The show could use that little edge.

Oh, that's Martin.

Your brother Martin?

I want you to meet him. Oh, for God's sake,

I can't do your family now, not being quite done with my own.

Thank you!

Relatives right and left.

Hold on, Martin.

See you in Kiddie Land.

Good morning. Just on my way.

Hi.

He seems awfully nice, Sarah.

You've done well.

Just put on anything. Anything'll do.

Come on! You don't have to dress for daddy.

Just help me pick something out.

You're always tracking down a daddy.

What's that supposed to mean?

Just put on anything.

All right. We have two choices.

Anne Frank...

Or virgin slut.

Maybe Anne Frank was a slut. Martin.

What, you think she put everything in that diary?

Look at this woman.

How did she do it?

Hmph.

Amazing, huh?

Yeah.

To think that someone got them to stop

shouting at each other for two seconds.

So, what did you think of the book?

Oh. I couldn't really focus.

I mean, we're doing six letters back-to-back,

and actually, you know what?

It seemed funny, the dirty part.

The thing with the two guys was...

Hmph! So you skimmed it, that's what you did?

Come on, you know I don't have time to read.

You read. Magazines.

Ha!

"Advice on Cuticles."

What's the use?

"How to Get a Guy."

To sit down with a book,

to waste your life chewing over some...

Some old story about a swan?

Or that book?

I mean, come on, Martin,

did you really read the whole...

Tell me the truth. Does anybody

actually finish a book?

I mean, once they've formed an opinion of it?

You are the end of the world.

What do you call this?

Ahh!

Daddy's little slut.

So the little mouse, he falls in this hole.

He can't get out, so he's yelling, "Help, help!"

so the elephant takes his thing

and sticks it into the hole

and pops the mousey out.

So the elephant says to the mouse...

Sarah, close your ears. No, you can hear this.

So the elephant says to the mouse,

"If you have a big dick, you don't need a Mercedes."

Tea. Russian caravan.

I keep it for you.

Thank you.

98.6, sunny and warm, clear weather ahead.

Now, here's another one...

Okay, you two, have fun.

- Play nice. - Okay, we will.

The mouse is riding on the elephant's back...

Louis, you want anything?

Yeah, lemon would be nice.

Is someone going to answer this phone?

Ms. Barzakian, would you get me

the Galleys from Walter's office?

Daddy, what are you doing? I mean, what is...

Sarah, darling.

Oh, you look positively grown up.

It's just a dress, daddy.

Mmm! Like your mother.

Oh, daddy.

What do you think you're doing?

I mean, Hobson-Jobson:

A Glossary of Colloquial Anglo-Indian Words and Phrases?

So, what's the big deal? A dictionary of derivations.

I think it's delightful.

Hi, Martin. So you came too, huh?

So, what, are we bankrupt?

I'm gonna walk in here

and find this place turned into Rug City?

Louis, would you excuse us for a minute, please?

Why? Why can't he stay?

Because we need the room.

I'm not here by choice, believe me.

You see what I'm saying? I need a room!

You got this big room here, you got marketing

with those children clicking their machines.

Louis, this can't be your office. People use this room.

I just need a fucking desk!

Louis!

And I need a drink.

Why can't he work at home?

Yeah. Why is he always here?

Would you want to be alone while you wrote that book?

So you actually gonna publish it?

So tell me, Aaron, what's going on?

You've been frightening everyone.

No. He told us if you did,

you won't be able to handle anything on the spring list

except for a couple of old reprints. Is that right?

It's four volumes.

He's been working on it for 34 years.

How can I ask him to wait?

He's one of the last witnesses.

No one's saying don't publish it, Dad.

But some balance, please.

You know, your mother's father started this imprint

to publish serious work that was valuable to the larger world.

So, what about Aaron's book Rising Tide?

You read it?

Mm-hmm.

I gave it to them. Both of them.

You have a literary opinion,

Mr. Johnny Appleseed of the Hudson here?

Yes, I read it.

I liked it. I thought it was powerful.

I cried.

I don't know why.

You're a gardener, Martin, please.

I liked it.

I mean, I didn't... I didn't read it all,

but what little I read I liked.

You liked it?

You really did? I thought you would.

- It's something, isn't it? - Excuse me.

I don't need a little shit-ass

democratic committee to give book reports.

You think I'm going to publish some trashy novel

by a slick old hipster?

This book is meretricious bullshit!

I wanted my time back after I read it.

I think you're misreading it.

I tend not to misread books.

You have no doubt about your own judgment?

Well, may I...

I'll just read you a little passage here.

"Walter leaned against the bar,

Mouth open in recollection

of those Black hands on his jeans."

"The feeling of release and submission

that comes when someone else unsnaps the buttons.

The kid's lips on him,

the wetness as his shirt is lifted up

towards the spire of the Chrysler Building

glowing above them."

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Well, Dad, I don't understand

what's the big deal here?

We all know about blow jobs, don't we?

Yes, Sarah, we know about blow jobs...

Well, then maybe you publish all those books

because there's no sex in them.

They're totally flaccid.

You see, Dad.

You just need to get out more is all.

The thing is, Dad,

you see, I promised Aaron

that if I liked the book,

I'd support him, whatever that meant.

I liked the book.

What's the deal here?

What the hell is going on here? What?

I don't get it.

Is this ceaseless drive to run us into the ground

circling any particular point?

Or is it just that in the year and a half since mother died,

you've become suicidal?

Well, this is simply beneath contempt, Aaron.

This-This line of reasoning,

this is gutter reasoning.

The fact remains that ever since mom died,

if we had a graph curve, it would look like

the north face of Everest.

I am destroying the company

because life's not worth living without your mother?

Phooey to that approach!

Just stick to your numbers, Aaron.

Aaron is trying to help.

No, no, no. It's okay.

It's what I signed on for. You get used to it.

It's sort of like you can insult anyone

as long as it's done sort of elegantly.

Ooh, who does this? I do this?

Do I really do this?

Dad.

Do you remember when we had a best-seller?

It was six years ago.

Can't you just simply trust me?

Once?

Just on this?

No.

All right.

Then I'll sign my shares of this company over to Aaron.

And that would make him majority shareholder.

What?

Martin, hold on. What are you doing?

Come on, are you kidding here?

I didn't agree to this.

Martin, we're not like this.

Are we like this over money?

You have to find some way to compromise, all of you,

because this is just horse shit.

Well, I sense that your little sister

would not be in with you on this takeover.

So Sarah, darling...

There's no way, Dad.

There's no way you can win this one.

Hold it.

Why didn't you bother asking me?

Nobody bothers asking me what I think.

I don't want to turn this into some horrible little thing,

but, Martin, if you hand your shares to Aaron,

then I'm gonna hand mine over to Dad.

Sarah... Well, I'm sorry!

Nobody bothers asking me!

Sarah, don't.

Sarah, what are you doing?

Sarah, there's no cash.

We're on empty here.

- One of you bend a little. - Bend?

It's way beyond that.

He just got you to offer him your stock.

He'll have 55 percent of this house,

that's just what he's after.

I'm sorry, Aaron.

Well...

I guess I'll just have to find some way

to think of this as a positive.

No, you don't, my son.

You are fired.

I will give you a week to clear your desk.

I will give you letters of recommendation,

but I will not speak with you.

I will not communicate with you.

I will not give at all.

Kiddo...

To the victor go the spoils.

Oh, I get it.

I get it. I'm so stupid.

You want to use me to screw Aaron,

and you think I'll go along with that.

Sarah... No, you think you can fire us?!

Look, I'm sorry. I'm gonna...

I'm gonna give my shares to Aaron

because you just don't understand.

You don't know how to love.

Let's be clear about this.

You just handed me control of this company.

Yes, I did.

You did this to yourself.

It didn't have to happen.

You knew this was coming.

You want to hate me?

Go ahead, hate me.

I have no choice.

You understand, Aaron, sweetheart,

you'll just be part of the big carcinogenic pile of trash?

Well, then all I can do is sift through it.

Aaron.

I hope it works out for you.

Well, I've got a show.

I have a... I have a show.

Dad?

Bye.

And certain predetermined assets

assigned to the new corporation forum

by Mr. Isaac Geldhart.

What Mr. Geldhart wants is his name.

Removed from Kreeger Geldhart Publishers?

He proposes that the name of the company

that Aaron runs be Kreeger.

- Kreeger Books. - Yes.

Kreeger.

Just go back to the original name.

Dad, this is just revenge.

Mr. Geldhart, you need to be reminded

that your children share your name

and that you're still a major stockholder in this company.

Not for long, kiddo.

May I help you?

Oh, you're Sarah, aren't you?

She who talks to the animals.

I'm Trevor. Ahem.

Hi.

Aaron's right in there.

I'm sorry. His schedule's very crowded right now.

No. He's totally booked up today.

Next week looks a lot better.

What is this? What's happening here?

I know, I know.

This is what he wanted.

Do you want some coffee? No, thank you.

This is Val.

Oh, hi. Hi.

Nice work. Oh, well,

there's not much there, but you're funny with the kids.

Oh, that's nice.

He's gonna be fine.

He took the Japanese for a couple mil.

He's not fine.

Have you talked to him?

He hangs up on me. He's not fine.

He's cute...

If you like boys.

Sarah...

The man is having fun.

Are you done sneaking up on me in the middle of the night

like a fucking thief?!

Fucking idiot. That's it.

That's it!

Moronic subliterate little bastard!

Louis?

Louis, just a minute.

You might consider going a little easy on Mr. Geldhart.

Louis, he's been very loyal to you.

Wouldn't you say that's true?

How about some tea?

Nah.

Louis!

Come with me!

Now what?

Uh...

so...

You can do it?

Of course we can do it.

Can you pay for it?

It'll take five guys three months

to sew bindings by hand.

In truth it's not an easy job.

Ever hear of the industrial revolution?

We know what looks best, though, don't we, Otto?

And we know what will last.

Why?

Why can't a machine do it?

What do you know about it?

Get us a realistic figure on the binding, Otto.

Please, Louis...

Will someone tell him it's just a book?!

Ever see this Thackeray?

What a thing to be a friend of Thackeray's.

He bombarded his friends with letters,

little drawings he did.

You ever see this?

You know the spine is loose on David Copperfield?

Well, don't pull it. You'll only make it worse.

I'm not pulling it.

That's signed by Dickens.

Do you know who that set belonged to?

Jack London.

Right.

So don't pull it.

Dad, it's Martin again.

I hear things are going great. Um...

I can't tell you how happy that makes me.

I saw a thing in the Times about the new company...

Well...

This one you never saw.

This cost plenty.

I never even told Reena I bought this.

What's Twain doing with Dickens?

Ah...

Huck Finn.

That's Sarah's copy for her seventh birthday.

She fell completely in love with Huck.

He broke her heart.

Tell me, Miss Barzakian,

do you think that girls are more empathetic than boys?

Well, I mean not you, but girls?

When I took her to Pinocchio,

she was what? She was 4.

She yelled at the whale, "Don't eat that boy!"

"Don't eat that boy."

She should have this.

This is it, you're in the right place.

Industrial chic.

Um, I'm too early. I'm a little early.

No, it's fine.

Oh, here. This is for you. Oh, thank you.

Well...

We haven't settled here.

It's transitional, really.

Oh, hey, I thought...

I thought you might have a little sofa.

Don't you dare raise your voice to me.

Ah, back in stride, is he?

I'll get him.

Are you sure about this?

Don't worry.

Yes. Well, I don't know.

No, I don't know which account you're talking about,

but I will give you Miss Barzakian.

Yes, the one who does the billing questions.

Yes?

I meet with the bank, and now it's called another bank.

I don't know the name of the first bank...

Just a minute.

She's outside.

Yes?

No, two different companies.

This is Geldhart. You want Kreeger.

Yes, just a minute. The number is...

Miquel, there's a woman making trouble there.

Remove her, please.

You have to go. Miquel! It's okay.

She will.

Sarah.

Sarah!

Sarah!

I'm sorry, Sarah. I did this wrong.

No, it's not your fault. He's a hateful prick.

He set me up. I'm not doing this anymore!

This can't be right. It's not happening.

The sinyoki isn't coming up.

Where is it? It's... It's...

It's supposed to float up.

It's like they went to Atlantis or something.

Sarah, let me give you a hand. I'm fine.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Shit! Shit.

Have you always been in children's television?

Oh, BBC first, actually.

Olive oil?

I came over with Alphabet Park,

which we first did there.

Funny squirrels with jumpers and rollies.

It was my creation.

Squirrels with jumpers...

Clicky the squirrel.

Kids loved it.

Ouch! Shit!

Is this a petunia, love?

Nice diversion.

I see them!

You know, I think it's not so very much unlike

what you do... Teaching.

Get to nurture, do exactly as you please.

Yeah! Yeah, from time to time.

Mostly it's refereeing crying jags.

Martin is a wonderful teacher.

And Sarah's one of my most devoted students.

Martin.

You've seen the African violet by the bed?

The one with the gray ashen pallor?

These taste like little balls of... Of raw flour!

It's only a meal, darling.

None of this does what they say it's gonna do!

It doesn't!

She's hyper-excited.

The roast is done.

You don't really even have to direct her.

She knows when she's wrong.

Great instincts.

Want to go bowling?

Stop it, Martin!

Stop it! Let me bowl! Martin! Martin, stop it!

Stop it! I'm bowling.

Oh!

My brother's hyperactive.

You can't print this!

This is not what we agreed on!

How did this happen?

This is a travesty!

Isaac, please! Stop!

Cut them all.

Every last one.

You're being crazy. What's the matter with you?

This is beautiful work.

You call this beautiful?

This... This... This paper?!

This is Time magazines!

How could this have happened?

Who... Who is responsible for this?

It cost over $200 to make that book.

Just one book! That book!

Do you know how much it would have cost

to make the book you wanted?

We start over.

Cut every last one.

Cut them.

Ah!

Wait till you see what I've got.

This is from Singleton, the dealer.

We got the Coleridge from him last year.

Well, I mean, he had no idea what he had.

It was a steal. $75,000.

But don't worry. It was a trade.

The first edition of Ulysses

and 10,000 cash.

This is a postcard painted by Adolf Hitler

when he was a student.

He bought his art supplies from a Jew

who thought he had talent

and gave him... Just gave him his materials.

He was not without a certain basic rudimentary talent,

was he not?

You would certainly hope

that he would be utterly devoid of talent.

I mean that would shed some tiny glimmer of light

on all the subsequent years, all that came after.

But no.

No, this is a slur of muddy non-color.

There is something here.

Yes.

I suppose.

There's a man coming to fix the leak.

And I left the number of the bookkeeper I hired.

Have we got what we are after?

We do.

Where's he going? Louis,

I have to tell you something.

He's going to keep them for a while.

Why?

I have to pay him something first.

You didn't pay him?

Louis, I'm going to pay him.

You know where to find them when you raise their bail.

Some of that stitching is a bit casual.

Well, then when you pay for them,

you can destroy them.

I was going to take them to Sotheby, but,

well, I mean, they take forever there, so...

Oh, yes. I remember these.

Your wife.

Yes.

She came in every day for a month

before she bought them.

Jack London, you know?

She came in so often, I thought she had a thing for me,

but she was only frightened of spending so much money.

The spine is loose on this Copperfield.

Then don't touch it.

How much?

12,000.

Your wife got a good deal.

Those belong to you?

All good things to those who wait.

"A glitteringly black sexual truffle

of Swiftian ambition."

Louis.

"Soon to be a Mike Nichols..."

Louis.

Who is Mike Nichols?

Mr. Bellesconti felt that it sounded quite interesting,

but that you would be the one to make the decision

about the quantity and whatever else.

Oh, my God. This is awful.

I mean, it's... It's beautiful work,

but it's very difficult.

Yes, it's not an easy read, no.

But how magnificently made. Congratulations.

Thank you.

Not for us, though, Mr. Geldhart.

It's much too expensive.

We couldn't sell it.

We couldn't even buy it.

It's... It's an important subject.

It's never been adequately chronicled.

Of course. Only in magazines.

There is only fact here. No conjecture.

It took a long time. Louis, Louis.

She doesn't want it.

Angela? You ready?

Yes, do we have any extra copies

of The World of Morris Tiles? Thank you.

Good. Could you see that Mr. Geldhart gets a copy?

He's on his way down now.

Thank you.

Why do you get mustard if you're just going to scrape it off?

They put it on. I didn't ask.

Well, you shouldn't use mustard.

You shouldn't use salt.

Sodium, hypertension.

Blood pressure.

Shit!

One gets covetous sometimes.

Huh?

Little badge of honor there.

My mother must've had one.

My sister, my father.

Brother.

Well, I never say anything about this.

Why, why talk? Why bother?

I wasn't in the camps, you know.

I was happily eating smoked eel in the attic

with my Alexander Dumas.

What did I know? I was sheltered,

protected by my cousins.

And then I got out of the attic and into the wrecked world.

You want to give them something?

Hmm?

Here she is.

Thank you. Sorry I'm late.

Oh, my God.

All those years he asked us to clean up our rooms.

It's Miss Havershim's house.

Yes. I came to drop off my keys.

I've been trying to contact him for months,

but he never returned my calls.

Join the club.

So is anyone gonna say what we're all thinking here?

No. Why don't you tell us

what we're all thinking, Aaron?

He can't take care of himself.

Someone's gonna have to start making decisions for him.

We're not helpless here.

There are things we can do.

What?

We can have him declared incompetent by the courts.

What? Sarah, talk to me.

This is not a legal problem, Aaron.

This is a medical problem.

- He needs to see a doctor. - That's fine, Sarah,

but who's gonna look after him, you?

I don't... I can't do it, Aaron.

- I'll do it. - Martin.

No courts.

None of that.

He just... He needs a little attention is all.

He's not gonna let you near him.

Martin.

Martin, is that you?

How did you get in?

Barzakian.

Ah, Barzakian.

She turned on me, you know.

I was going to change the lock,

but I forgot.

Well, there's some split pea in the freezer.

I forgot to put a top,

so it might be a little frosty, but...

Martin, I'm getting filthy.

Stop whining.

Val... Door!

Three leaves is poison ivy, so...

What? Where? Be careful.

No. No. Relax. You're fine.

Come on. Help me.

I'm not dressed for this.

Ahh.

I don't have my hunting and gathering clothes.

Oh, we're gonna have some nice mushrooms.

They have nice mushrooms at the supermarket.

Ooh, here's one. Look.

Hmm? See?

Uh, yeah. That... That one's poisonous.

Oh, God.

Don't touch your mouth or eyes or anything.

You'll blow up like a puffer fish.

How can you live like this?

Are your fingers getting numb?

There's absolutely nothing to cook with in this house.

Look at these, look at these beauties.

Ooh. Oh, God. We have to eat these?

Oh, yeah. Okay. Look out.

Hey, back off. I'm toxic.

Hand me that.

Is there a center for poison control in this area?

Sarah, Sarah, I was joking.

Look. Do whatever you want,

but don't expect me to contribute.

I thought I was coming here for your birthday party.

Open mine first.

Martin.

You know this sounds crazy. Yeah.

You want me to buy $250,000 worth...

236,000.

Whatever.

Of his little how-to atrocity handbook

after what he did to the company?

You made ten times that on Val's book.

You did?

I... Martin, that wasn't profit.

Oh?

Shut up! Aah! That was profit.

We had marketing costs and public...

Oh, yeah. You've got the money, Aaron.

You've got it.

Aaron.

You've got it.

All right.

I'll do it.

Happy birthday, Martin.

Why would Dad accept money from you?

Oh.

Wow.

Heh-heh.

Excellent. Uh...

That's, uh...

I don't have this one.

What time do you want to get up?

I don't have to get up. You do.

Oh, that's right. I forgot.

I'm the one who works.

Hey, I work. What's this?

Here you go. All right. Thanks.

Yeah, just in case. Yeah.

Uh, thanks for a great birthday.

Yeah, it was fun. Thanks for having us up.

Yeah. Okay. Good night.

Good night. Good night, Martin.

Good night.

Mmm.

You awake?

Nice to see him happy finally.

Yeah.

How about you? How about you and Lord Maximilian?

Oh, well...

Chronologically speaking,

we still can't agree as to who dumped who.

Mm-hmm.

What about you?

You havin' any kind of a life up here?

Is there somebody in your life?

Do you have somebody?

What a thought.

I was just wondering.

I don't think this family's meant for breeding.

You have no faith.

"lo...

Phon. Phon. lophon.

Martin, I never heard of these publishers.

lophon press. Yeah.

Well, it's a half dozen university presses here

and some European partners dividing the risk

on, you know, important projects.

And some, uh...

Foundations with a focus on medicine.

Bingo!

I told you the university is the foundations.

We were wasting our time in the marketplace.

You... You had to be such a snob.

He thinks the universities are run by Farrakhan.

So, okay, lophon.

Now, Martin, you want another lesson?

You don't back down.

But you... You wouldn't understand that.

You and your treehouse, dropping your little spores on the wind.

You see the lesson?

Yeah, I see it.

No, you think it's all over.

You think it's all finished,

and then there's this guy, lophon.

Actually, I think I got a letter from him.

I didn't even answer him.

Yeah, well...

They're smart. They know that you couldn't sell it.

So they're looking to buy it cheap.

What exactly is cheap?

Uh, 236. 236 what?

236,000.

Well, that's so absurd. Ridiculous figure.

So, okay, now,

we are back in the business.

Now we counter. 2.5 million.

No, no, no. No, we don't counter.

Dad, this is a take-it- or-leave-it offer.

There's no room for that. So then...

We leave it. No, Dad!

We don't leave it! This is...

Do you have any idea what it was like

to get these people to come to the table?

This is a negotiation.

You don't know the first thing about it.

This is not a negotiation!

Take it! We take it!

You tell them yes.

I'm not schlepping one more fucking block with you!

Are you fucking nuts?!

The man is nuts.

I paid this.

Martin.

This lophon Press,

it's not in the publisher's guide.

It's not... It's nowhere.

It's not even in the phone book.

It's new. I told you.

Well, then, maybe I should sit down with them

and find out if they really know what they're up to.

You're not gonna sit down with anyone.

I found these people, and you're not gonna blow it.

Could you get the tea?

You're taking charge.

I'm taking charge.

Well, if you would have shown such interest six years ago,

you wouldn't have to pick up the pieces right now.

Martin, I'm...

Good. You're asleep.

I don't understand this, Martin.

What the hell is going on?

Who is this?

Who the hell is that in there?

Why? Who the hell is that in there?

There's no name on the back. I don't know who it is.

Herman. It's what?

It's, uh, it's Uncle Herman.

What?

It's your cousin Herman.

You came over with him.

Oh, cousin Herman.

Hmm.

Jesus, what time is it?

I can't be late again.

Dad. You need to see a doctor.

That was an episode.

You just had an episode.

Yeah, yeah. Come here.

Come, come, come. Come here.

So tell me something. Who is that?

That is Norman Nathanson.

And this one is Alex and Sylvia and Jonah Berger,

and Jonah's stupid coo of a mother

with a Ph.D. in pedantry,

and here... That's Clayton Rhume

with the prick from The New Yorker.

Oh, look who's there. That's Abrams and the lawyers.

So tell me, you think I need a doctor now?

And who is this? This is Alvin Green,

the lousy columnist from Baltimore!

So go back to your flower arranging and be a good boy!

I know all you people.

I have to leave the house no later than 8.

He's usually up by 10.

So if you get here at 9, that should be good.

And, uh, I'll get you a key.

Dad, this is Esme.

Esme, Isaac Geldhart.

Good morning, good morning.

Okay, this is most important.

Uh...

Okay, he takes one-half of one of these in the morning.

- One-half. - Mm-hmm.

You have to keep count because sometimes he forgets.

Excuse me. She doesn't need to know this.

Why are you telling her all this?

I thought she was just here to clean.

Because she's gonna be here anyway.

My son misrepresents my needs.

There's some very nice sponges under that sink.

Let me show you where to put your coat.

Oh, by the way, you like some brisket?

There's brisket for lunch.

You want some? Uh-huh.

You can keep your coat and things right here.

Ah.

Yes, I know. I know.

So anyway, do you want to know who I saw today?

That guy. You know, the doctor.

The one that you didn't want to go to

because you had to have a lady touch you on these places.

What was his name again?

No, no, not him, the father.

Yes, the one who told me that I had to stop smoking

because I would be dead in five years.

Well, you want to know what he looks like today?

He looks like he died five years ago.

Yes, he's got... He's white. He's all white.

He's ashen with a liver spot,

and he was walking with this, mmm,

this, uh, succubus on his arm.

No, this is not the same one.

This is another one.

Well, maybe it's not another one.

Maybe it's the same one, but with new orange hair

sticking out of a bag for a hat like a pastry bag.

You... Well, you would have known how to handle this situation.

But me...

I just stood there,

"Aha, so it's you."

You say somethin'?

Well, uh, it's very clean here.

So just go downstairs, please.

Who knows if they have this?

It isn't here.

I don't know where it could be.

This is crazy.

This is absolutely crazy.

Can I help you, Mr. Geldhart?

Yes, yes. My book, the Foukold.

The Fuckhold?

No, Louis Foukold: The science of Genocide.

Let's take a look.

Foukold is F-U-C-K-O...

F-O-U-K-O-L-D. Foukold.

Tell me something. Are you still in the business

of selling books or what?

Maybe you keep the more expensive books

in a special place?

Hmm. Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Geldhart,

but I'm just not coming up with anything.

Are you sure of the title?

Look at this. He's always

putting clothes on that poor dog.

He says he loves her, but she looks very unhappy to me.

Wow, there is a lot of genocide.

Ah.

But no Science of.

I had this one, but I lost it.

Are you sure it's in release yet?

Mmm. Please put this on my account.

Mr. Geldhart?

Oh, yes. This is magnificent.

Oh, look at this. Exuberance.

This is triumphant.

Is this short enough, Mr. Geldhart?

But look at this. Look at that.

I mean, you don't see it like this, of course, in Venice.

You see it like this. It's on the ceiling,

and you walk in, and you see these exquisite frescoes.

Mr. Geldhart.

What, what, what? May I hold that for you

for just a second until we finish?

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Of course. Of course.

Now is this short enough, Mr. Geldhart?

Oh, my God. That's it. That's it!

What? What happened?

He's got them. Exactly the ones.

You remember... The ones I was talking about.

Excuse me,

but I had to run after you looking like this

because you are wearing the most magnificent pair of shoes.

Do you know how long I have been looking for those shoes?

It is one piece of leather, right? Just one piece?

Is there something I can help you with?

You see, the first time I saw that shoe

was at the Sahon Hotel in the lobby.

I mean, I didn't want to go there,

but my wife... Sir?

I want to buy his shoes.

Now I'm not daring to hope

that we are the same size.

But... No. Well, you look like a wide.

Actually, I could have them copied.

Please. If I may ask you to leave this gentleman...

What I suggest is for the deal

that after lunch, we could... Sir.

You really are going to have to leave now

or I'll have to call the police.

What I suggest is that after lunch

we go to Bergdorf's, and you can choose

whatever suits your fancy.

And that way, you won't feel...

What are you doing?

Is there something...

Please, madam.

This is inappropriate.

What?

What?

- Oh. - Ow! Ouch!

You moved your arm! You're on my pigtail. Ow... Ow, ouch.

They just did this stupid makeup here. Honestly, I can't.

I can't, Peter, honestly! Ow!

Ouch!

Why are you so uptight?

Why are you always trying to screw me on the floor?

These are working hours. I am working here.

There are teamsters out there...

Teeming around us. You just...

I'm what... Immature?

Uh, I'm not some fifty-something art fag?

Oh, yeah. There we go.

I don't have great funny stories.

Tilt my head and tell people what's what.

Look, Peter, you think that I'm still kissing with Max?

Is that it? Because come on. Please get over it.

I asked you to softball in the park, to league,

and it's like I asked you to some toxic dump.

I know, I know. Peter, sweetie, listen.

This dog is gonna take a shit

right here in this room, all right?

I have a shot to do. I have to go sing a song

about trichinosis, so...

I am not your boy.

I'm not your dog boy.

My dog boy?

Your father's been arrested.

Aaron's on the phone. I knew this would happen.

Look, two more shots. Don't leave now.

Tell him you're not leaving now!

Dad, talk to me.

Send me a bill for the bail.

I don't have my checks.

Dad, stop. What happened?

I'll take a taxi! That's all!

I'm fine! Thank you!

You think what you do has no effect on us?

Let him go, Sarah.

What did you do with my books?

Thought you'd get away with it, huh?

Getting sentimental, Aaron.

Not good for business.

No. Not at all.

You shit-ass!

Daddy!

Daddy! Unh!

Daddy, stop it!

Daddy.

Dad, stop it!

Stop it! Daddy!

Aaron, stop it!

Stop!

Come on. What are you doin'?

Do something, please.

Hey, that's it. Come on. Get off him.

Unh.

Come on. Come on.

Are you all right?

Take your hands off me.

Just leave me alone.

Calm down.

You deserve everything that's happening to you, Isaac!

Dad, what are you doing?

Get moving.

Jesus. Come on, Isaac.

Put on your tie. She's gonna be here any minute.

Well, maybe she won't come.

I'm telling you, Martin, you can't run a place this big

with only a woman who comes in once a week from Belize.

Dad. The dust in this place.

It's like a nuclear winter in here.

You have to take three showers a day.

It's the social worker. That's today.

Please. Do you think I'm an idiot?

Today is the maid. Thursday is the Sotheby lady.

It's the psychiatric social worker, and it's today.

You agreed to this. Do I look to you

like a man who doesn't have a calendar?

Thursday is the social worker.

Today is Tuesday... The cleaning, please!

Today actually is, in point of fact, Thursday.

Without Miss Barzakian,

how am I supposed to know my appointments?

It was idiotic to have consented to this in the first place.

It would help if you knew what day of the week it was.

What for?

It's just a slab of days.

Tell me something, Martin.

What do you do? You go back to Aaron with reports?

What did you mean, the Sotheby lady?

What were you talking about?

You don't know everything about my business affairs,

thank God.

There is nothing left to sell, Isaac.

You can't be going to auction houses,

talking to Sotheby's. Jesus.

You really think there's nothing?

Well, don't worry. There's plenty.

The Sotheby people know just what I got.

It's the social worker, Dad.

It wasn't my idea.

No, of course not.

But if Aaron says that I am incompetent,

there's got to be something to it, right?

Now's your chance to prove there isn't.

I would like to get the hell out of this town.

A building blew up across the park.

Apparently, there was a cloud of asbestos.

Now there's cancer for everyone.

The whole street was a freak show.

Yes, I know. We've talked about this.

I always hated that park.

You need a key to get in, and there's never anyone there.

I used to always be there.

I love that park.

I still have the key.

Why do you dress like some sort of Paul Bunyan character?

I mean, what's... What's with that jacket?

Dad, let me give you

You just answer yes or no.

You don't have to do the whole Isaac Geldhart show.

It's not required. These people, they...

They don't let you off on charm.

They don't even get it. I get it. Quit your copping...

Standing here, giving me instructions

like I was in your photosynthesis class.

Oh, hi. I'm Martha Hackett.

Listen, I know you came all the way here,

but I don't think this is the greatest time.

Well, the department is swamped,

and to get one of these appointments

and to get someone to come to the house,

it's very difficult, and why drag it on?

Dad.

Ah.

Well.

Yes. So...

Isaac Geldhart.

Yes. Martha Hackett.

Well, let me get the woman to bring you some coffee.

Uh, no. I'll do it.

Oh, of course. It's not Tuesday, it's Thursday.

You see, she has a tendency not to show.

Also, she ain't listed, so I'm fucked.

Forgive me. I'm trying to be competent.

That's the thing you need to know, is it not?

Mr. Geldhart, nothing's being determined here.

Forgive me. I thought something was being determined here.

Well, no. This is a process.

No one person can make a dispensation

or come to a conclusion. No one person.

That means there are more of you to come, a tribunal.

It's not that bad.

They sent a woman to my house to see if I am wacko,

and nothing's being determined here.

Uh, uh, paperwork!

It comes flying into this house from all of the places!

Mr. Geldhart, you don't have to worry.

I don't have to what?! Why don't you tell me

- exactly what I have to do?! - Dad. Dad.

Martin, do you think I would really subject myself

to this patronizing...

Look what they brought to me here!

Look what they sent here!

It's okay. Why don't you just leave us for...

Why don't you both leave me alone?

Do you think anyone wants to be seen this way?

I mean, it's so fucking vulgar.

It's all right.

I'll be there.

You won't be there.

He told me you might be a little cranky.

A little cranky?

That's your brilliant analysis

of my situation here, a little bit cranky?!

Fuck you!

Mr. Geldhart, he didn't mean to be insulting.

So tell me, then, how are things at Sotheby's?

Sotheby's?

Well, come on.

I know you have other places to go, and we are both busy people.

You have other treasures to plunder.

I'm not from Sotheby's. I'm from social services.

Please, Mr. Geldhart, understand.

Your son Aaron and your daughter Sarah

have suggested that competency hearings be initiated

because you have "Demonstrated a credible inability

to manage your own affairs."

Did the woman give you coffee?

All I have to do is ask you a few questions.

Okay.

Shoot.

Okay, uh, what city, state, and country are we living in?

Are you kidding me?

It's a perfectly reasonable question.

Next.

Uh, do you know...

Oh. Heh. Um...

Okay, uh...

Uh, your medication is...

I stopped taking it. I couldn't read.

That I could not accept.

Enough of this, right?

Now let me show you the collection.

Mind you, it is understood from the get-go.

You take the entire collection.

I can't bear to think of this being divvied up,

split up all over town.

I'm not from an auction house.

I have a letter from Hitler.

Adolf Hitler.

Uh, it's a postcard, actually.

He painted this...

A little watercolor of a burned-out church.

There was a Jewish shopholder in the town

who thought that young Adolf had talent,

so he gave him his materials for free.

What do you think?

There is something here, is there not?

Do you really think I'm from an auction house?

I know exactly where you're from

and what you're trying to do to me, you fucking cow.

You know the time. You know what time it is.

You know all the times!

All you fucking people know exactly what you're doing to me!

Dad. Get out!

Out of my house, both of you!

Dad. Dad.

How could it have gotten to this point,

I mean, without somebody catching it?

Look, doctor, I'm not blaming you.

You've always been great,

but didn't you call him or something,

I mean, to just check up on him?

Actually, the patient does the calling

if they notice any trouble.

What about follow-ups?

You don't do follow-ups? Aaron.

As far as I know, your brother

had been terribly careful with himself.

So how could this have happened?

I mean, why wouldn't he call?

I gotta tell you, Aaron,

I don't think he wanted to.

What does that mean?

Well, for god's sakes, Aaron,

he didn't want to.

Uh, excuse me, sir.

There. He won't leave.

Isaac.

You can't be back here.

Which one is the special one,

the most important one to watch?

Well...

They're all important.

He didn't have these last time.

He was with the awful orange flowers

and the cars on the wall.

What kind of people make vinyl wallpaper?

We really can't stay here, Isaac.

But he's big now.

He's in charge now.

This day was familiar.

When mother died, we'd done all the same things,

the same rituals, the same friends.

But it's nice to have something to concentrate on.

Will there be enough chairs? A favorite recipe?

It was easier this time.

Over here, Aaron.

Now we knew how to do it.

We're all so sorry about what happened.

Is this awful for you?

No.

Sarah, you're really gonna have to talk to him.

I know it's none of my business,

but nobody's talked to him.

Dad?

What's that?

What are you doing?

Ah.

Nothing.

Are you all right?

Ah.

Would you like to go for a walk in the park?

Now?

Dad, we have guests.

Eh, come on. They're doing okay.

Louis is keeping them entertained.

Come on.

Come on.Come on.

I don't know exactly which key it is.

I think it's this one.

No, no. Leave it open.

Someone fun might drop by.

Aaron.

You punched a little boy over by that fountain.

I was so surprised...

I had the little warrior boy.

And you...

I came here. I sat on that bench

when you got laid in our apartment for the first time.

I just sat here...

On this bench.

I thought that I would quite literally die.

But this was Martin's park.

I used to watch him from the window until it got dark.

Then I'd have to come down and find him.

♪ Petit poulet ♪

♪ Tout c'est okay ♪

♪ Maintenant bebe ♪

♪ Tout c'est okay ♪

♪ The life you left behind ♪

♪ Won't find you ♪

♪ The love you kept inside ♪

♪ Will come ♪

♪ And even when ♪

♪ Your own heart blinds you ♪

♪ Nothing undoes ♪

♪ The work you've done ♪

♪ The sun's Still in the sky ♪

♪ The moon is there At night ♪

♪ The ground's Still underfoot ♪

♪ And still holds you ♪

♪ Petit poulet ♪

♪ Tout c'est okay ♪

♪ Maintenant bebe ♪

♪ Tout c'est okay ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

♪ There isn't any answer ♪

♪ To the question ♪

♪ You only learn ♪

♪ To live with it ♪

♪ There isn't any answer ♪

♪ In religion ♪

♪ Don't believe one ♪

♪ Who says there is ♪

♪ But the voices are heard ♪

♪ Of all who cry ♪

♪ I am around you ♪

♪ As long in the night ♪

♪ Kissing your plight ♪

♪ Baby child ♪

♪ Kissing your plight ♪

♪ Kissing your plight ♪

♪ I am the sun Up in the sky ♪

♪ I am the moon Also at night ♪

♪ I am the ground Under your foot ♪

♪ I am holding you ♪

♪ Petit poulet ♪

♪ Tout c'est okay ♪

♪ Maintenant bebe ♪

♪ Tout c'est okay ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪

♪ Too-loo-loo-too-too ♪