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Young & Getting Played
Young & Hungry (720p) S01E09 [KoTuWa]
1
00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:08,941
Good morning
wonderful people!
2
00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:10,876
You're in a good mood.
3
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,278
Did somebody get
their pulsating
showerhead fixed?
4
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,816
I'll answer that
when you go through puberty.
5
00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:22,221
Uh, I happen to be
in a good mood because
6
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:25,424
My son derrick is
home from law school
for the summer.
7
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,793
Now, I don't play
favorites with my children...
8
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:28,994
But derrick's
my favorite.
9
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,965
So, how is he?
Last time I spoke with him,
10
00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,967
Him and his girlfriend cheryl
were getting pretty serious.
11
00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:36,735
Well, now it's
seriously over.
12
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,437
She was all
wrong for him.
13
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,372
And I was not shy
about my feelings.
14
00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:43,909
Aww man,
poor cheryl.
15
00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:45,911
I would not want to
get on your bad side
16
00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:46,979
Because you
are just...
17
00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:49,281
The best person ever!
18
00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:53,919
Well, forget about poor cheryl,
what about poor derrick?
19
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:58,690
Ugh. This is exactly why
I'm never in relationships.
20
00:00:58,692 --> 00:00:59,925
And san francisco
thanks you.
21
00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:07,699
Well, I am going to
help him get over her.
22
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:11,203
I stocked the fridge,
upgraded the cable,
and bought a tandem bike.
23
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:15,841
You know exactly
what a broken-hearted
24-year-old guy needs.
24
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:18,977
Tandem bike riding
with his mother.
25
00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:21,747
Look, derrick's on
the rebound.
26
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,015
What he needs
is a new girl.
27
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:24,983
He already
has a girl:
28
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,251
His mama.
29
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,221
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I should
30
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,856
Hook derrick up
with someone.
31
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,324
But where am I
going to find someone
32
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:33,926
Good enough for my son?
33
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:38,030
I mean, come on.
Someone who's smart...
34
00:01:38,032 --> 00:01:39,798
Sweet.
35
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,433
I mean,
totally together.
36
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,504
- I know, gabi?
- Yes?
37
00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:48,907
Is sofia
seeing anyone?
38
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:55,214
There's been
a horrible disaster,
I need you!
39
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:56,949
What's wrong?
You're shaking.
40
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:58,317
A pipe burst
in my townhouse
41
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,419
And all my clothes
are wet.
42
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:05,524
Juju, can I stay here
until they fix everything?
43
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:06,859
It should only
take a week.
44
00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:10,829
It'll be like a sneak peek
of when we're married.
45
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:13,799
Maybe you'll get
a little sneak peek
tonight?
46
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,033
Living with you
is already awesome.
47
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,236
How great is this,
right guys?
48
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,804
- Super fun.
- Fantastic.
49
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:19,938
Can't wait.
50
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,941
( theme music playing )
51
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:28,881
( bike bell rings )
52
00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,217
Hi.
53
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:34,887
Oh, you're looking
nice for your date.
54
00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:36,255
I'm already
getting cozy
with mine,
55
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,789
Señor kettle corn.
56
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:40,859
Oh.
57
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,961
Oh, someone's
already getting
to second base.
58
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:44,963
( knocking )
59
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,900
Oh, my god,
that's him.
60
00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:49,201
I'm so excited.
61
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,038
There's nothing sexier
than a lawyer.
62
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:56,441
Ooh, except a lawyer
with flowers.
63
00:02:58,278 --> 00:02:59,578
I do not object.
64
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:01,613
Sofia?
65
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,215
Guilty as
charged.
66
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,484
Come on in,
derrick.
67
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:06,518
Hi, I'm the girl
your mother
68
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,954
Didn't think was
good enough for you.
69
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,255
Oh, gabi?
70
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:11,523
It's funny, you don't
look like a train wreck.
71
00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:16,128
Sofia, I was thinking
maybe we could, uh...
72
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,298
I'm sorry,
I can't do this.
73
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,867
Wow, that's the fastest
I've ever been dumped.
74
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,268
Look, it's not you,
75
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,170
It's just the girl I'm
in love with just broke up
with me.
76
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,271
Sofia and gabi: Aww
77
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,439
You should sue her.
78
00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:30,509
Do you wanna talk
about it?
79
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,377
Not really.
80
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,845
It's just, she couldn't
see a future with us
81
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:34,980
'cause my mom
didn't like her.
82
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,114
Why, what was wrong with her?
83
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,482
Nothing, she was perfect.
84
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,917
She was top of her class
in law school,
85
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,319
And she's an academic fellow
86
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,853
For the united nations.
87
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,155
Wow, so she's
good enough
88
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:45,023
For the entire world,
but not yolanda.
89
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,093
But derrick,
cheryl sounds like the one.
90
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,895
I mean, you don't just meet
somebody like that.
91
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,096
I mean...
92
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,931
I had that with
my last boyfriend, cooper.
93
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,367
We had this amazing connection
until, you know...
94
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,205
But, you know, the point is
if you love somebody--
95
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,174
I do!
And she's perfect for me,
96
00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:04,109
But my mom refuses to see that.
97
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:05,711
- Well then, you gotta make her.
- How?
98
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:09,214
Date somebody who's
not perfect for you,
99
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,917
Somebody that yolanda
hates so much
100
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,019
That she'll be begging
cheryl to come back.
101
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,954
Uh, fine.
I'll do it.
102
00:04:18,891 --> 00:04:20,626
Not you,
yolanda likes you.
103
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:23,095
You're sweet and smart
and totally together.
104
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:24,296
I mean, why do you think
she tried
105
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,164
To set derrick up
with you and not me?
106
00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:31,937
Oh, my damn.
107
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,339
Oh, I would be the
most perfect
108
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,340
Horrible girlfriend for you.
109
00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:37,209
No mother ever
approves of me.
110
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,280
( doorbell rings )
111
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:46,018
- Hey, mom.
- Oh, hey.
112
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,386
Hey baby,
how was your date?
113
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:48,587
Great, you were
so right.
114
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,922
Oh, mama's
always right.
115
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,525
She's funny, she's smart,
she's amazing!
116
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,593
Oh, good morning,
yolanda.
117
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:55,927
Hey, baby pie.
118
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,429
( stammering )
119
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,733
Uh, "baby pie?"
who you callin'
"baby pie?"
120
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,604
Ooh, this is
going to be delicious.
121
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:06,705
Tinder can wait.
122
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,641
Yolanda, you have
an amazing son,
123
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,144
And we had
an amazing time
last night.
124
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:15,113
( stuttering )
no no no no no no.
No, no, oh, no, no, no.
125
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,949
I set you up
with sofia.
126
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,018
Stable, grounded,
sofia!
127
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:23,088
I mean, gabi,
I love you, but...
128
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,489
You're not
exactly future wife
129
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,590
Of the second
black president
130
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,959
Of the United States
material.
131
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,128
I think that a, uh,
132
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,730
First lady
with bad credit
133
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:34,966
And a few misdemeanors
is relatable.
134
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,435
Here come
the anger sweats.
135
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:41,106
I'm a go
in that laundry room,
136
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,508
And I'm gon' get
on my knees and pray!
137
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:48,046
...That that tequila
I hid in the cabinet
is still there.
138
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,753
She's freaking out,
she totally believes
we're a couple.
139
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,021
You think she's ready
to call cheryl?
140
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,522
Patience, okay?
141
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,224
This plan is going
to work perfectly.
142
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:00,692
Soon, you'll be
back with your girl,
143
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,227
And I'll be alone
on the couch,
144
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,795
And all will be
right with the world.
145
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,068
I've got
news!
146
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:12,204
Big news.
So big that--
147
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,206
Not now elliot,
I have enough problems
with derrick.
148
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,741
What would it be
worth to you
149
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,709
If I had
some information
150
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,044
About derrick?
151
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,145
And by "derrick,"
152
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,646
I mean
derrick and gabi.
153
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:24,516
And by "derrick and gabi,"
I mean...
154
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,718
Do my laundry for a week
and I'll tell you.
155
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,654
I used to wash my barbie
and ken's clothes.
156
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,791
Spit it out!
157
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:37,229
Derrick and gabi are
playing you like a fiddle.
158
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:40,031
A big, 'ol, antique fiddle.
159
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,034
What you talking about?
160
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,604
They're pretending to be
a couple you'll hate so much,
161
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:48,173
That you'll beg cheryl
to come back.
162
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:50,509
Son of a b!
163
00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:52,778
Anyway...
164
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,713
Tumble dry on low,
easy on the starch,
165
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:56,681
And when it comes
to detergents...
166
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,150
I like
summer meadow.
167
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,522
I'm a teach those two
a lesson they will
never forget.
168
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,790
You don't play a player.
169
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,198
I don't get it.
170
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,733
My mom freaks out
about us being a couple,
171
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,802
And then invites us to dinner?
It doesn't make sense.
172
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,670
Well, I guess she thought that,
you know, yelling didn't work,
173
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:22,774
But guess what?
Reason and this girl do not mix.
174
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:26,578
Look, I mean, doing that
for a couple of minutes
was one thing,
175
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,613
But I don't think I can lie
to my mom for an entire dinner.
176
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,815
She's a badass.
177
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,584
Well, I am a
badder-asser.
178
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:35,587
And I am gonna be
the worst girlfriend
179
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,721
That you have ever had.
So let's rehearse.
180
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,490
Sofia, will you be
yolanda, please?
181
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:41,426
( in a sassy voice )
oh, I could be yolanda
all night long.
182
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,865
Is that offensive?
Because if I cross the line,
just let me know.
183
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,134
You're cool.
184
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,836
You're damn right, I am.
185
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,872
Okay, "yo-fia,"
186
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,140
Give us what you got.
187
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,108
( as yolanda )
now, derrick,
188
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,643
What do you
see in gabi?
189
00:07:58,645 --> 00:07:59,878
She can't
pay her rent.
190
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,346
She didn't
go to college.
191
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,248
That girl is
an emotional tilt-a-whirl.
192
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,817
Sofia...
193
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,353
That was
an awesome impression.
Good job.
194
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,621
Thank you, baby.
195
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:13,225
I am telling you that girl
is not right for you,
196
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:15,227
And what makes you think
you know better than your mama!
197
00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:16,294
( stuttering )
I don't.
198
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,429
I'll break up with her.
199
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:20,732
Derrick,
what was that?
200
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,601
You lost in ten seconds.
You gotta toughen up, okay?
201
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:23,835
Do you want
cheryl back or not?
202
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,670
Yeah.
203
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,240
Okay, then
get it together, man!
204
00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:32,410
Less wimp,
more pimp.
205
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,279
Don't you use
that tone with my son.
206
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,617
Look,
207
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:41,686
And you should too,
you're my mom, damn it!
208
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:42,654
( both gasp )
209
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:44,689
Ahh, derrick,
all right.
210
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,625
You do that tonight,
and yolanda will be
211
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,393
On the phone with cheryl
before desert.
212
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,928
( as yolanda )
yes I will.
213
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,496
Now give me a hug.
214
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,865
Not you,
blondie.
215
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,301
Mama needs
some sugar.
216
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,710
Hey.
217
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:06,711
Baby,
218
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,914
( stammering )
what is all this?
219
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,783
Well, it was
touch and go but...
220
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,685
We were able to save
half my clothes.
221
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:16,655
This-- this is
half of your clothes.
222
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,657
Yolanda's definitely
gonna ask for a raise.
223
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:20,725
Uh...
224
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,193
Don't you think
maybe we should
225
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,295
Get rid of some
of this stuff?
226
00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:24,362
No!
227
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,630
I'd feel
naked without it.
228
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:28,633
Hey! Oh, speaking of naked,
do you wanna do that?
229
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:30,402
( giggles )
230
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:34,739
Oh, juju,
not on calvin klein.
231
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,775
Um, how about
that chair?
232
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,976
No, no, no, no.
233
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,644
- Not on michael kors.
- Not on michael kors.
234
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:42,781
That trunk looks good.
235
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:44,983
Not on valentino.
236
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,285
You know what, babe?
Forget it.
237
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,254
I can't have sex in front
of all these people.
238
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,522
Watch it, calvin.
239
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,725
Before we go out to eat,
240
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,660
I would just like to make
a toast to josh
241
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:59,230
For the use of his
very romantic terrace.
242
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,433
And to my boo,
my boo's mom,
243
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,867
And my "boo-ooze!"
244
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:05,870
I love to get
my drink on.
245
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,407
You know what
else I love?
246
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:12,577
Derrick, for just being
the most generous person ever.
247
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:14,346
Oh, I mean,
come on, babe,
248
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:15,413
What was I
supposed to do?
249
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,681
You needed
a thousand dollars.
250
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:19,351
Oh, yeah, I just got
a cash advance
251
00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:20,352
On my credit card.
252
00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:21,853
- Like gabi told me.
- Mm-hmm.
253
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:26,024
But don't worry,
I already found a way
to pay him back.
254
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,792
Super lotto!
255
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:29,861
And, I just found out
my lucky numbers
256
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:32,030
From my astrologist
so we're good.
257
00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:34,366
Okay, okay, okay.
258
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:36,401
Now I need
to say something.
259
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:39,371
I see that you two have taken
quite a liking to each other.
260
00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:41,373
But I can't hold my tongue
any longer, gabi.
261
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:42,641
Here it comes.
262
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:46,044
Welcome to the family!
263
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,979
I couldn't be happier.
264
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,649
Gabi and derrick: What?
265
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:51,816
You know what?
266
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:55,754
I'm gonna go pop some
of josh's expensive stuff
267
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,622
So we can have
a real toast.
268
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,591
Ooh, I'm so excited!
269
00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:01,660
Ebony and ivory.
270
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:06,731
She likes us together?
What happened?
271
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,566
I'll tell you
what happened.
272
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,769
I'm coming off too well,
I'm too adorable.
273
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,304
Hey.
274
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,874
Not so adorable.
275
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,742
I know a little secret.
276
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:19,878
And it's good.
277
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,680
Hey, elliot, listen,
we're kind of in the middle
278
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:27,018
What would it be worth to you
if I had some information
about yolanda?
279
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:30,088
And by "yolanda,"
I mean yolanda and you two.
280
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,924
And by "yolanda and you two,"
I mean...
281
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,861
Cook me gourmet meals
for a week and I'll tell you.
282
00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:40,899
And by "just tell me,"
I mean just tell me!
283
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:46,538
Girl, yolanda is playing
you like a fiddle.
284
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,740
A poor, blonde,
annoying fiddle.
285
00:11:49,675 --> 00:11:50,709
What's he talking about?
286
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:51,910
She knows
287
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:54,546
That you two are
faking being a couple.
288
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:55,547
What?
289
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:56,614
How'd she find that out?
290
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,750
I have no idea.
291
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:02,520
What's more important
is that I love bolognese
292
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,723
And duck confit.
293
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,857
She's coming.
294
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:06,758
I must away.
295
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:10,662
Don't be shy
with the butter.
296
00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:12,797
Ahh,
297
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,666
Here comes
the champagne.
298
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:16,568
Aww... Ooh!
299
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,804
Oh, that would be
a perfect name for
your first child.
300
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:22,807
Okay, yolanda, you can
quit the charade.
301
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,476
Hm? Say what now?
302
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:25,677
We get it, you win.
303
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:26,811
You know that we're
not a couple.
304
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,447
Ha!
You're damn right I know.
305
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:30,749
I'm not a
pair of dice.
306
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:34,452
I got to give it to you,
mom, you were right.
307
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:35,754
The whole thing
was a ruse...
308
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,789
Mmm, I know, baby.
309
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,724
...In the beginning.
310
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,493
But then,
311
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:43,895
I spent so much time with gabi,
my feelings became real.
312
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,930
It's over!
Gotcha!
313
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,999
I'm serious, gabi.
You're smart,
314
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,768
You're funny,
you're beautiful--
315
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:50,969
( laughs nervously )
what?
316
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,605
Look, I didn't mean
for this to happen.
317
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,874
Uh, mean for what to happen?
What's happening?
318
00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:59,010
Well, this whole thing
started because of cheryl.
319
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,212
When I'm with you,
I don't even think about her.
320
00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:03,548
I don't know how
to say this, but...
321
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:04,682
Uh, then don't.
322
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:08,787
You spent so much time trying
to help me find true love,
323
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,090
- You actually did.
- ( gasps )
324
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,860
Oh, my damn.
325
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,863
( stammering )
okay, my heart is racing.
Here come the anger sweats.
326
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:21,099
I'm a go in josh's office
327
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,501
And I'm gonna get on
my knees and I'm gonna pray.
328
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,904
...That that bourbon
I hid in the shredder
is still there.
329
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:29,874
Dude!
That was awesome!
330
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:32,544
What a performance,
you even had me fooled
for a second.
331
00:13:32,546 --> 00:13:35,079
It wasn't a performance.
332
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,147
I meant it.
333
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:38,650
Oh, my damn.
334
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,157
( whispering )
sofia.
335
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:48,827
Sofia.
336
00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:51,796
- ( louder ) sofia!
- Oh, my god!
337
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,965
Whoa, it's me, it's me,
it's me, it's me!
338
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:56,868
What the hell
is wrong with you?
339
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,903
Um, I, uh...
340
00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:04,042
Listen, I, uh,
I really messed up.
341
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,578
Oh, what a shocking turn
of events.
342
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,716
Listen, while I was trying
to be the worst girlfriend ever,
343
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,686
Charm and sexiness just kept
oozing out of me.
344
00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:17,755
And then derrick
345
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,190
Fell in love with me.
346
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:23,561
I mean, what is this power
I have over men,
I'm like "man crack."
347
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,662
What am I going to do?
348
00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:27,198
Okay, calm down.
349
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,567
- I have a plan.
- Okay, all right, what is it?
350
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,070
But it's big,
and you've never
done this before.
351
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,838
Okay, good,
I like it already.
Give it to me!
352
00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:37,242
- When you go to work
in the morning,
- uh-huh.
353
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,877
- Gather everybody togethe.- Uh-huh.
354
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,778
And you tell them...
355
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:41,813
- You ready?
- Yeah.
356
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:42,947
The truth!
357
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:44,949
And?
358
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:47,719
There's no "and."
359
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,287
No more plans, okay?
360
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,256
You tell derrick
that he's a great guy,
361
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,724
But you don't like him
in that way,
362
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,526
And then you apologize
to yolanda
363
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:56,895
For breaking
her son's heart,
364
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:59,197
Again.
365
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,099
And then just stop
getting involved
366
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,800
In other people's lives.
367
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:05,603
But if I don't get involved
in other people's lives
368
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,206
I'll have to focus on my own
and that's not fun.
369
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:15,980
Josh, why are you
here eating alone?
370
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:17,682
Why are you here
drinking alone?
371
00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:22,086
Both: What's wrong?
372
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,790
I think my future wife
is a hoarder.
373
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:28,726
Oh, baby, I'm sure
she's had her share of men,
374
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:29,861
But I wouldn't call her a--
375
00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:30,828
Hoarder!
376
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:31,896
"der."
377
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,831
Oh, my bad, sorry.
378
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,300
What's going on
with you?
379
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,769
It's gabi.
She tried to play me
380
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,771
By pretending she was
derrick's new girlfriend
381
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,639
And then she made him
fall in love with her.
382
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:44,042
She's all wrong for him.
383
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,843
What's the matter
with that girl?
384
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:51,149
I'm gonna say something
that I've never said before.
385
00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:54,585
I don't think
gabi's the problem.
386
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:56,888
Excuse me?
387
00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:58,723
I didn't hear "gabi was wrong"
or "crazy white girl"
388
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,758
Anywhere in that sentence.
389
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,193
I've never heard you say
one nice thing
390
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,962
About any
of derrick's girlfriends.
391
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,697
What's wrong with
a mother wanting
392
00:16:05,699 --> 00:16:06,898
The perfect girl
for her son?
393
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,334
He found her.
394
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,668
Cheryl.
395
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:11,970
But no...
396
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,038
( chuckles )
397
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:18,142
I think you and caroline
have the same issue.
398
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:20,812
You can't let go.
399
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,181
Is that what you think?
400
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,382
I'm holding on
too tight?
401
00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:26,651
What do you think?
402
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,886
I think if I let him go,
403
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:31,389
I'm not going to be
the main woman
in his life anymore.
404
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:34,392
And he's gonna run off
into the sunset
405
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,060
With some new girl
on that tandem bike.
406
00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:38,196
Come here.
407
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:41,933
He's not
going anywhere.
408
00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:43,735
Aww...
409
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:46,070
You pay all
of his bills.
410
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,676
Caroline.
411
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,778
I think I figured out
what your problem is.
412
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,413
Oh, which one?
413
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,215
The one that's
making my bedroom
414
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,750
Look like a barney's
warehouse sale.
415
00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:02,754
Oh, juju, I wouldn't know,
I've never been to a sale.
416
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:05,923
I think...
417
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:06,991
You're afraid
of letting go.
418
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,160
Really?
419
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,662
No.
420
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:12,864
You always told me
that when you were a kid,
421
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,899
Your parents travelled
all the time.
422
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,868
Even your nannies
changed all the time.
423
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,170
I was thinking...
424
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,906
The only constant
you had was your stuff.
425
00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:24,942
Well, I never thought
of it like that.
426
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:27,045
You might be right.
427
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,849
These designers are like
the only family I've ever had.
428
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,751
Not anymore.
429
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:35,853
Aww, juju.
430
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,823
Hey, look at that.
431
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,892
You let go, now there's
room for me.
432
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,727
You know which outfit
I want to let go of first?
433
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:43,728
Huh?
434
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:44,796
This one.
435
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:51,869
Gabi?
436
00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:55,173
Oh, derrick.
437
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,810
Derrick, derrick, derrick,
we need to talk.
438
00:17:58,812 --> 00:18:00,044
Yeah, actually
I wanted to talk to--
439
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,979
No, no, shh.
Me first.
440
00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:05,016
Come on, let's go
somewhere private.
441
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,052
Derrick...
442
00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:11,055
Love is
funny sometimes.
443
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:14,025
It, uh, it creeps up on you
when you least expect it.
444
00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:16,160
You can't control it.
You can't predict it.
445
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,029
And you can't
force it.
446
00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:19,130
What I'm trying to say is--
447
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,164
Gabi,
448
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,232
I'm not in love with you.
449
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,834
I just wanted my mom
to think I was.
450
00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:25,403
Oh, yeah,
rejection is hard.
451
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,338
No, it's not that.
452
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,506
It's just when
your plan failed
453
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,108
I had to think
of something else.
454
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,042
I was desperate.
455
00:18:31,044 --> 00:18:32,810
Okay, okay.
456
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,179
Let's say that I believe
that you came up with this
457
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:36,347
New plan.
458
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,915
That was
better than mine.
459
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:40,918
I mean, why didn't
you tell me?
460
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,253
Plausible
deniability.
461
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,855
( faintly )
oh, plausible deniability...
462
00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:48,826
You know, derrick,
uh, you talk real fancy,
463
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,496
And it all seems,
uh, very believable.
464
00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:56,100
But at the end of the day,
you know, what did
your big plan get you?
465
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,169
( doorbell rings )
466
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:03,007
Cheryl, thank you so much
for coming by.
467
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,009
Thanks for calling,
yolanda.
468
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:07,044
I do not know what changed
your mind about me,
469
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,913
But I am not going
to question it.
470
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,416
Smart girl.
Now get ready
471
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:15,920
Because he's gonna be
so surprised when he
sees you!
472
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,155
Put on
a little lipstick.
473
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:21,225
Cheryl!
474
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:22,827
What are you
doing here?
475
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:26,197
Your mom called me.
I've missed you so much.
476
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,100
Thanks mom.
You're the best.
477
00:19:29,102 --> 00:19:32,336
I just wanted to see
you smile again, baby.
478
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,172
I paid a lot
for those teeth.
479
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,843
So, are you okay
with me calling cheryl?
480
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,511
Are you kidding?
Yeah. Are you okay
481
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,880
That I manipulated you
into calling cheryl?
482
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:47,318
I had to.
It's true love.
483
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,320
Oh, I know.
484
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,355
But it doesn't mean
that I don't love you.
485
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,491
I would be lucky to have
someone like you in my family.
486
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:54,959
You already do.
487
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,862
I just have, um--
I have one question.
488
00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,932
At dinner, how did you know
that derrick and I
were faking it?
489
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,500
I have a
better question.
490
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,835
How did you know that I knew
that you were faking it?
491
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,307
Both: Elliot!
492
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:12,476
Okay.
493
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:14,145
We can work this out.
494
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,414
You, don't have
to do my undies.
495
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:20,184
Just the duck confit
and we'll call it a day.
496
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,187
So we all good?
497
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,157
( shouts )
498
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,195
Please, just do it for me
one more time, please.
499
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:32,196
No.
500
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,098
Please, sofia,
please?
501
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,399
Fine.
( clears throat )
502
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:37,969
( as yolanda )
oh, hell no!
503
00:20:40,038 --> 00:20:41,872
What did you mess up
this time, gabi?
504
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:45,309
You are a roller coaster
without the brakes.
505
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,246
Sofia...
506
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,513
Uh-uh, I'm yolanda,
507
00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:51,015
Queen of the place!
508
00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:54,885
Umm, yolanda's here.
509
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,887
You're damn skippy, I am.
510
00:20:57,956 --> 00:20:59,924
Yolanda's in the hiz-ouse!
511
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,160
- Sofia!
- What?
512
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:07,398
Oh, my damn.
513
00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:10,568
Pretty good impression.
514
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,270
You got the voice...
515
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,671
But do you have the moves?
516
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,942
You bet I do.
517
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,644
Get moving!
Come on!
518
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:21,679
If you can do it,
519
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,414
Put your back into it,
come on!
520
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:24,615
Boom!
521
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,950
Put your back into it.
522
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:25,950
Put your back--
come on gabi!
36814
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