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Young & Punchy
Young & Hungry (720p) S01E06 [KoTuWa]
1
00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:10,042
Hey!
2
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,910
You know john
from my office?
3
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,846
The guy who built
his own motorcycle?
4
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,882
Oh, yeah.
Is he out of the hospital yet?
5
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,817
No. No.
6
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:21,086
But his husband is the manager
of the petting zoo
7
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,088
And he offered us a job.
8
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,723
Okay, "a," I have a job.
9
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,959
And "b," I'm allergic
to goats.
10
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,863
So I'm gonna have
to say, "nay-y-y."
11
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,999
Well, "a," that's the sound
a horse makes.
12
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:37,970
And "b," the petting zoo
is a cool new bar
13
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:39,872
And they need shot girls
for Saturday nights.
14
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,074
So all we have to do
is wear cute outfits
15
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:43,409
And get guys to drink.
16
00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,144
Like we do
on weekends anyway,
17
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,212
But now we'll
get paid!
18
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:50,849
I don't know.
It sounds kind of sexist.
19
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,684
I mean, why don't you just
throw us back to the '50s
20
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:53,819
Where women were stuck
in the kitchen
21
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,821
Slaving away
for their men.
22
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,923
- ( bell dings )- ooh, josh's apple pie is done.
23
00:00:59,025 --> 00:01:01,994
So you're saying
you don't want to do it?
24
00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:03,462
No, I told you
it's degrading.
25
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,963
Pay is 500 bucks each.
26
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,899
Saturday, you say?
27
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,037
Look at this one.
28
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,306
It's black and huge.
29
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:20,879
Wow, where would you
even put something so big?
30
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:26,218
Oh.
( chuckles )
31
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,322
I'd make room
for that.
32
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:33,826
Guys, put the bathtub
catalog down.
33
00:01:33,828 --> 00:01:35,427
I've already picked out
the tub for upstairs
34
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,762
And before you ask,
35
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:40,466
It's a surprise for caroline,
she's gonna be the first one
to use it.
36
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:43,235
Don't worry, yolanda.
You'll be the first one
to clean it.
37
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:49,308
All right, elliot,
what's our game plan
for cooper finley?
38
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,943
Oh, what's a cooper finley?
39
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:53,112
Is it a car?
Can I have one?
40
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:54,313
'cause mine's
mostly duct tape.
41
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:57,850
Cooper finley is a hacker
42
00:01:57,852 --> 00:02:00,452
That broke into josh's
new app and forced it offline
43
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,553
For two days.
44
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:05,524
But that's because my neighbors
changed their wi-fi password.
45
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,428
What are you
gonna do to him?
46
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:12,030
He left me no choice,
I'm gonna hire him.
47
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:13,065
( gasps )
48
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,867
Oh, yeah,
that'll show him.
49
00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:17,436
Force him to work
with elliot every day.
50
00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,305
This kid is brilliant.
51
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,008
He's only 23 years old
and he created this fuzzy
logic data patch
52
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,877
That I could develop
into software technology
53
00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:27,546
To piggyback off other signals
creating connections 10 times
more stable.
54
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:32,818
I made you a pie.
55
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,921
I have to act fast.
In six months,
56
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:38,290
Yahoo and facebook will be
all over this kid.
57
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,193
So how do I impress
a maverick hacker?
58
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:43,862
Well, just spitballing here,
59
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:47,099
But I'm thinking
white limousine,
60
00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:49,902
Bottle of bubbly,
smooth jazz...
61
00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:54,206
A single red rose
falls from the moonroof.
62
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:57,009
Yeah, I'm trying to sign him
not take him to prom.
63
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:03,448
If you want my two cents,
64
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:06,185
Which is all I have
in my bank account,
65
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:09,221
I'm thinking
girls, booze...
66
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,889
And?
67
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,257
Oh, that's it.
Girls and booze.
68
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,994
Hey, why don't you guys
take him to the petting zoo?
69
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,930
It's this hot new bar
sofia and I are working
on Saturday.
70
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:18,964
Since when do you
work at a bar?
71
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,999
Since I found out
parking tickets
72
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,901
Triple when you
don't pay them.
73
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,971
Come, I'll get you guys
on the v.I.P. List.
74
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,440
Oh, please.
75
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:31,977
You think a 23-year-old
computer genius
76
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:35,013
Is gonna work for you
because some half-naked girls
77
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,082
Shake their boobies
in his face?
78
00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:43,121
Saturday, you say?
79
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:45,190
( theme music playing )
80
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:55,367
( dance music playing )
81
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:58,270
See?
This isn't demeaning.
82
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,105
Here's 50 bucks,
keep 'em coming.
83
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,608
( gasps )
more like de-mazing.
84
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,377
Pretty cool place, huh?
85
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:09,114
It was not easy
getting us on the list.
86
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,382
Really? Why?
87
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,217
All you have to do
is bypass their firewall,
88
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:13,485
Hack their server,
and put your name
89
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,487
In the employee database.
90
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:16,488
How'd you do it?
91
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,991
I asked a girl I know.
92
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:20,659
Hey, gabi.
93
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:23,662
Did someone koala my name?
94
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,931
Gabi, this is cooper.
Cooper, gabi.
95
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,499
- She works for me.
- Hi.
96
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,167
You have your own
shot girl?
97
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,203
Wow, you are rich.
98
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:33,505
And you could be too.
99
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,007
How'd you like to come
work for me?
100
00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:37,509
What?
Are you offering me a job?
101
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:40,045
Yeah, he thinks
you're highly koala-fied.
102
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,214
- ( laughing )
- stop doing that.
103
00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:43,949
- You're funny.
- Keep doing that.
104
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,518
Who wants some
al-koala-hol?
105
00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:52,057
What are you doing in there?
106
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,492
Hey.
107
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,560
Oh, the piggy's on a break.
108
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:58,930
He went, "wee wee wee"
all the way to the bathroom.
109
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:03,068
So, coop, are you gonna
come work for me, or what?
110
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,771
Normally I'd say I'd never
go mainstream
111
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:08,273
And work for a rich,
corporate sellout.
112
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:09,608
But now I'm saying,
113
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,043
Hell to the yizz-ee.
114
00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:12,544
Yes!
115
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,980
Aw, let's capture
this moment.
116
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,183
Oh, shoot, it's doing
that thing again.
117
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,419
Gabs, I told you to take it
to the genius bar.
118
00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,721
Well, lucky for you,
we're in a bar
119
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,990
And I'm a genius.
120
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:28,060
Well, maybe there's
nothing you can do,
121
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:31,730
But we both know that your code
isn't exactly elegant.
122
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:35,967
My code is so elegant,
it summers in the south
of France.
123
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:40,172
Oh, is that the new vacation
spot for sub-standard
programming?
124
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,606
- All fixed.
- ( gasps )
125
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,975
Wow, josh, look.
Cooper fixed my phone
126
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,977
And he set my home screen
to a koala.
127
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,245
Sub-standard?
128
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:48,980
That's funny, "wired"
didn't mention that
129
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,449
When they did
a cover story on me.
130
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:52,184
Oh, "wired"...
131
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:53,485
That cutting-edge magazine
132
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,187
That still prints
their copies on paper.
133
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:56,722
Oh!
134
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,391
- Shoot.
- I am so sorry.
135
00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:03,095
My hand-eye coordination
is severely compromised.
136
00:06:03,097 --> 00:06:06,698
But your hand-boob
coordination is dead on.
137
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,700
Take it easy, dad.
138
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,035
I'm just trying
to help her.
139
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,236
All right, coop,
come on, back off.
140
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:12,537
No, what's your problem.
141
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,739
Hey, hands off.
142
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:15,140
Hands off me.
143
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:18,744
Oh, my god.
144
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:19,778
Cooper, are you okay?
145
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,413
I'm fine.
146
00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:24,249
How do you feel?
147
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:27,119
You just hit a smaller guy
with glasses.
148
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,553
And anemia.
149
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,061
- ( pounding )- ( groans )
150
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,764
I'm so hungover
I hear pounding.
151
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:43,068
Relax, baby,
we all hear it.
152
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,703
It's the man
working on your tub.
153
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:45,670
Oh.
154
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,372
Hey, thanks
for the iced tea.
155
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:48,707
It's not for you.
156
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,444
I'm working on the man
working on your tub.
157
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:55,781
( clears throat )
158
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:59,217
I made you my patented
hangover helper.
159
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,820
Ugh, just looking at it
makes me sick.
160
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,622
Good, I'm starving.
161
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:08,260
So in regards
to what happened last night,
162
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:12,164
Gabi made these cute "star wars"
apology treats for cooper.
163
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,633
Just something for him
to chewbacca on.
164
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,737
All you have to do
is sign this card,
165
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,105
And we can send it
right over.
166
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:24,075
"may the force
and my apology be with you."
167
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:26,678
I'm not signing this.
168
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:27,712
He was acting like a douche.
169
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,147
A douchey genius.
170
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,248
Look, I don't care
how much money's at stake.
171
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,483
A billion dollars!
172
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:32,818
- Isn't gabi's
honor worth--
- nothing!
173
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,724
I can't believe josh.
174
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:42,761
Throwing a huge
business deal over nothing.
175
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,764
I could really use
a soak.
176
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:49,234
Josh was very clear,
no one is to use this tub
177
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,236
Until caroline gets back.
178
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,604
Now let's get out of here
before one of us
179
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:53,805
Does something stupid.
180
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:55,807
You first.
181
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:56,875
No, you.
182
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,623
Cooper, it's gabi.
183
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,426
Making a house koala.
( giggles )
184
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:18,763
- Hi.
- Hi.
185
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,532
How's your chin?
186
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,601
I don't know,
I don't have health insurance.
187
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,904
But web m.D. Says
I might have lyme disease.
188
00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:28,406
What are you
doing here?
189
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,909
Oh, I'm delivering
these marshmallow treats
190
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,578
He had me shape them
into little r2-d2s
191
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,647
To say he's sorry
for empire striking you.
192
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:36,815
( chuckles )
back.
193
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,850
They look great.
194
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,620
I can't wait to be able
to chew them.
195
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,321
- Wanna come in?
- Sure.
196
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:45,724
Sorry it's such a mess.
197
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,425
Listen, josh wants
to apologize
198
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,860
For that whole fist bump
to the face thing
199
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,629
And have you over
for dinner tonight.
200
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:51,730
Seriously?
201
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,599
Why, does it sound made up?
'cause it's not.
202
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:59,771
Actually, I'm the one
that needs to apologize to you.
203
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,908
I remember spilling something
and trying to clean it up
204
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,543
And touching a part of you.
205
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:06,211
Yeah, actually two parts.
206
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,746
I'm really sorry.
207
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,814
And I was thinking
about it last night.
208
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,716
I wanted to
make it up to you,
209
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,418
And so I bought
you something.
210
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,787
Oh, you didn't have
to get me anything.
211
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,522
I got you
a domain name.
212
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,724
"bon gabetit."
213
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,894
You're gonna need a website
when you're a famous chef
someday.
214
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:27,465
Oh, my god, I have always
wanted my own dot com.
215
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,833
That's so--
216
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,736
Wow, nobody has ever done
anything like that for me.
217
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:34,706
Listen, uh, cooper.
218
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,875
You and I are really
not that different.
219
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,443
Well, that's true.
220
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,345
We are both
carbon-based life-forms.
221
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:41,413
( laughs )
222
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:42,714
Okay, maybe
a little different.
223
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,518
But you know, we're both
living our dream.
224
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,420
I wanna be
the next julia child
225
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,455
And, uh...
You wanna be the next...
226
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,357
Computer visionary,
jean bartik.
227
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,558
- Yeah, him.
- Her.
228
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,893
Her.
229
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:58,663
The only difference is,
I'm already living my dream.
230
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:00,765
I'm working for this great guy
who believes in me
231
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,734
And the same guy
believes in you too.
232
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:05,537
So come over for dinner tonight
and let him apologize.
233
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:06,738
'cause, cooper,
234
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,239
I mean this
in the nicest way,
235
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,941
But what else you got
going on tonight?
236
00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:14,279
- Good point.
- Yeah.
237
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,585
Oh, look who's
finally up.
238
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:22,621
You must be
feeling better.
239
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:23,788
I can't wait to eat.
240
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,690
I'm actually excited
to hold food down.
241
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,893
Good, because we're
having company.
242
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,862
- We are?
- ( doorbell rings )
243
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,565
Yes, and now would be
a great time
244
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,368
To tell you that it's cooper.
Don't get mad.
245
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:38,603
He's here to apologize
for what happened
the other night
246
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:39,738
And I'm sure you have
a lot of questions,
247
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:43,575
But they can all
be answered by... Cooper!
248
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,877
Hey, gabi.
249
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,047
Josh.
250
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,752
I just want to say
I think it's very big of you
251
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,321
To invite me over here
in person to apologize.
252
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,590
Uh, I didn't invite
you over here.
253
00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:00,425
Who's hungry?
254
00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:04,863
You're not gonna
apologize to me?
255
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,464
Are you out of your mind?
256
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,499
Probably.
257
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:08,600
Due to the brain damage
258
00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:09,934
From when you punched
me in the face.
259
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,704
Hey! Hey hey hey.
260
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,506
Everyone's gonna feel
a lot better
261
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:17,942
When they eat
my delicious nachos!
262
00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:21,846
Ta-da!
263
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,348
Nachos.
264
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,718
This whole thing
was a setup?
265
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,486
( sighs )
266
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,954
Gabi, did you actually think
you can trick him
267
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,890
Into coming over here,
not tell me,
268
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,525
And that everything would
be okay because you made...
269
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,726
Nachos?!
270
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,764
A little bit.
271
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,867
Guys, just apologize, okay?
272
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,102
It's not that hard.
273
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,403
Watch.
274
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,738
Cooper, I'm sorry
I tricked you
275
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,406
Into coming
to dinner.
276
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,341
Josh, I'm sorry I dented
your hybrid corvette.
277
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:51,476
You what?!
278
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:52,944
Let's just stay on track.
279
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:57,549
Cooper, you got drunk
and you touched some stuff.
280
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,851
Josh, you got drunk
and you punched some stuff.
281
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,989
Look, josh, I don't
remember what was said,
282
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:08,827
But obviously it was bad enough
for you to punch me.
283
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,563
So for that,
I'm sorry.
284
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:13,798
That'll do.
Josh?
285
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,000
Apology accepted.
286
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,509
I'm sorry I punched
the glasses off your face.
287
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,414
Good enough.
288
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,850
Okay, now for the good part--
nachos.
289
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:35,587
So, josh,
I was wondering
290
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,655
Is that job offer
still on the table?
291
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,925
Well...
292
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,094
My gut told me to hire you
in the first place
293
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:46,131
And I always go with it,
so the offer stands.
294
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,599
- Really?
- Yeah.
295
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,033
Yes!
296
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,402
Oh, my god.
My nachos are magic.
297
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:55,740
Thanks for going
with your gut, man.
298
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:56,841
Hey, man,
you gotta listen to it.
299
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,409
It will never
steer you wrong.
300
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,946
Well, I'm gonna take
your advice on that one, boss.
301
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,683
Gabi, will you
go out with me?
302
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:09,187
( scoffs )
303
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,688
Wow, uh...
304
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:13,591
Cooper, you're super cute
and sweet,
305
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,760
But I'm kind of
on the spot here.
306
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:16,895
( chuckles )
307
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,763
Let me help
everybody out here.
308
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:24,202
And I think what
she's trying to say is
309
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,837
- No.
- Yes.
310
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:28,106
- What?
- What?
311
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:35,013
On the terrace,
just for a minute?
312
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,114
Sure.
313
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,785
Okay.
314
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:42,453
Why did you say
I couldn't go out with him?
315
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,656
I'm about to get in bed
with him on a business deal.
316
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:45,824
If you actually get
into bed with him,
317
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:46,925
This could be
a disaster.
318
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,893
Why are you being
so negative?
319
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,129
Because I remember
this one time when
someone in this apartment
320
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:52,730
Slept with someone
she worked with in
this apartment,
321
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,199
And it was super awkward
and it was us.
322
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:57,802
Josh, that was
so last month.
323
00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:58,803
Okay, what we had
was totally diff--
324
00:13:58,805 --> 00:13:59,804
( knocking )
325
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,840
Can I get something
to drink?
326
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,308
Absolutely.
327
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,944
It's just
a first date, okay?
328
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,812
He's kinda cute
and kinda funny
329
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:10,682
Well, I'm kinda
putting my foot down.
330
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,984
Okay, I think you are
being a little un...
331
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,252
Here you go.
332
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,487
...Reasonable about this.
333
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:17,856
The answer is no.
334
00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:20,091
Fine.
335
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,726
I mean not fine.
336
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,862
But you're my boss
and I have to respect that.
337
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:25,663
So I will not
go out with him.
338
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:26,865
Thank you.
339
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,039
Guys?
340
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,277
Really cold out here.
341
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,515
Who made up this rule
that you can't date
342
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,817
Anybody you work with?
343
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:49,621
Uh, thousands of companies
all across the country.
344
00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:50,989
And how do you even know
you like cooper?
345
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:53,157
- You just met him.
- I know, it's so weird.
346
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:54,692
He was just this computer guy,
347
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,929
But then all of a sudden
he was sweet and thoughtful
348
00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,731
And he bought me a domain.
And now I have
349
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,966
This little feeling
on the inside.
350
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,269
Well, let me
crush it for you.
351
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:07,739
100% of your relationships
have failed.
352
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,942
I know, and I just wanted
a chance to let this one
fail too.
353
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,945
Okay, you clearly need
to get this out of your system.
354
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,647
So...
355
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:16,848
I got it.
356
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:20,051
And instead of, like, being
all fake and charming
357
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,953
Like most couples are
at the beginning,
358
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,788
Tell each other
all your worst qualities.
359
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:24,822
( gasps )
360
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,157
Nothing kills
a relationship
361
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,625
Like honesty.
362
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:29,727
Oh, my god,
that's brilliant.
363
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:30,862
Once he gets to know
the real me,
364
00:15:30,864 --> 00:15:31,930
He'll just go
running for the hills.
365
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,331
Just like all the others.
366
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:34,599
Nailed it.
367
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:39,837
Okay, so we're here tonight
to get to know each other
368
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:42,640
And find out that we
do not like each other.
369
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,810
Okay, I understand
quantum physics,
370
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,045
But this is confusing.
371
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,780
What if we do
like each other?
372
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,081
Oh, we won't.
373
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,716
But on the off chance
that we do.
374
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,117
We'll deal
with it later.
375
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,153
So let's get
this train wreck started.
376
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,255
I will tell you something about
myself that you're gonna hate.
377
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,957
Go for it.
378
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:00,625
Um, okay, I talk a lot.
379
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,160
I don't know,
it's sort of a nervous habit.
380
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:03,661
I've kind of done it
since I was a little girl.
381
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:04,862
I just kind of go on
and on and on--
382
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,998
No, I get it.
383
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,866
But I have to say
I think it's really cute.
384
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,802
No, no, you're not
supposed to like it.
385
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,137
Okay, well how about
I tell you something
horrible about me?
386
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,939
- Okay, bring it.
- I can't remember
the last time
387
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:16,975
I washed these jeans.
May never have.
388
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:21,112
I lick the powder off donuts
and put them back in the box.
389
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:23,815
I have a suit of armor.
390
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:26,818
I have a fake facebook account
where I'm a cat.
391
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,321
I think there's a 60% chance
that we're living in the matrix.
392
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,889
( chuckles )
393
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,691
Damn it, this is
going really great.
394
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:36,661
Um, okay, I gotta think
of something horrible.
395
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:40,965
I'm so irresponsible,
I forgot to pay my
electric bill.
396
00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:44,902
Can I tell you something?
397
00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:50,008
Now that I know all of these
horrible things about you,
398
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,343
I like you even more.
399
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:54,979
Crap.
400
00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:03,921
Why are you reading
the owner's manual
401
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,723
For the new tub?
402
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:09,660
So I know how to clean...
403
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,863
A combination of
14 pulsating, rotating
404
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:14,198
And directional
adjustable jets.
405
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,071
Keep walking,
nothing to see here.
406
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:23,741
Mm-hmm.
407
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,810
( doorbell rings )
408
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,883
- Sure.
- I'm just about to go
on my morning run.
409
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,184
But I'll go get
your contract for you.
410
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:36,988
Wait wait, how--
how long you running for today?
411
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,024
Today I'm gonna try
for 10 miles.
412
00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:42,326
H-h-how--
what's that in minutes?
413
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:44,195
Oh, about 90 minutes.
414
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,364
Damn, that's im--
that's impressive.
415
00:17:50,035 --> 00:17:52,403
Hey, cooper, we should
probably talk...
416
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,838
- I know.
- ...About something.
417
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,806
Look, I really don't think
it's a good idea
418
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:55,873
For us to go out.
419
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,809
Oh, thank god.
I totally agree.
420
00:17:57,811 --> 00:17:59,811
What?
I thought you liked me.
421
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:01,379
Like you?
422
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,081
I hacked into the power
company last night
423
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,082
And paid
your electric bill.
424
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,950
Yay.
425
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,319
But this job is
a huge opportunity
426
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,454
And I just don't
want to blow it.
427
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,255
( sighs )
I get it, absolutely.
428
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,423
It's the right thing
to do.
429
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,424
Yeah.
430
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,926
Friends?
431
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:15,927
Friends.
432
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,331
Josh:
Big mistake!
433
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:23,201
I totally forgot
your contract in my car.
434
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,502
I'll go get it
for you.
435
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:27,939
( door opens, shuts )
436
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:32,176
It's approximately
a two-minute elevator ride
437
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,778
From the penthouse
to the garage.
438
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,113
Why are you
telling me this?
439
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,180
Oh.
440
00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:39,283
Elliot:
Josh, where are you?
441
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,885
Come on.
442
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:49,994
Josh?
443
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,869
Yolanda, are you
getting in that tub?
444
00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,837
Josh, what are you
doing in your bathroom?
445
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,540
What are you doing
in my bathroom?
446
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,243
There is a real good reason
why I'm in here.
447
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,844
I was...
448
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,246
About to clean it
for caroline.
449
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,148
Why do you think it's filled
with scrubbing bubbles?
450
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,849
So why are you in a robe?
451
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:14,852
In case I fall in.
452
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,320
Think.
453
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:17,955
Well, I need you
downstairs.
454
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,857
Okay, fine.
455
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,025
I'll be down in 45.
456
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,160
Josh:
Now!
457
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:28,266
( sighs )
458
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:31,469
Okay, this is getting
too complicated.
459
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,237
There's only one thing
that we can do.
460
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:35,840
To keep dating
and not tell josh?
461
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:36,908
You are a genius.
462
00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:46,117
Okay, josh,
have a safe trip.
463
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:47,485
I'm leaving now.
464
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,353
Bye-bye.
465
00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,989
And hello.
466
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,433
Hey, josh.
Have a good flight.
467
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,368
I'm leaving now.
468
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,503
Night-night.
469
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:12,009
Bathtub app,
here we go.
470
00:20:13,011 --> 00:20:15,479
Music... On.
471
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:18,983
Mood lighting... On.
472
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,952
Water... Hot.
473
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:22,186
Hot, hot!
474
00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:26,257
( soft music playing )
475
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:42,173
( both screaming )
476
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:45,009
Yolanda, what are you
doing here?!
477
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:46,444
What do you think
I'm doing?!
478
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,613
Well, you have
to get out.
479
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,081
Hell no.
480
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,250
I was here first,
you get out.
481
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,018
Well, I'm not moving.
482
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,086
Neither am I.
483
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:03,194
Are these vanilla bath salts?
484
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:06,731
Vanilla peach.
485
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,065
Is that champagne?
486
00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:16,007
To never telling anyone
about this.
487
00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:18,409
Cheers to that.
488
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,914
Turn on the jets.
489
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:23,914
( jets whirring )
34587
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