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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000 Young & Pregnant Young & Hungry (720p) S01E04 [KoTuWa] 1 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:10,242 Caroline, who's ready for this high tea? 2 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,745 I say "high," you say "tea." high... 3 00:00:12,747 --> 00:00:14,013 Don't. 4 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,685 Sorry, I'm just kind of excited. 5 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,086 This is my first time making a high tea. 6 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,422 I mean, for you! I do this all the time. 7 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:27,726 I hope so, because this has to be flawless. 8 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:30,029 If I don't lose at least one friend out of jealousy, 9 00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,663 It will be a complete failure. 10 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:34,400 ( laughs ) 11 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:35,667 Oh, you're not kidding. 12 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,670 Well, don't worry. 13 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,173 I got it all covered. I made three types of scones-- 14 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,975 What about for my friends who don't eat gluten? 15 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:44,977 Uh, champagne deviled eggs with caviar. 16 00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:46,178 And the ones who eat vegan? 17 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,813 Almond crusted baked eggplant? 18 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,448 And what about the ones who only eat raw? 19 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,050 I'm hoping they don't come. 20 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,452 Excuse me? 21 00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,721 Uh, I said... 22 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,156 ( cockney accent ) at your service, mum. 23 00:00:58,358 --> 00:00:59,925 ( phone dings ) 24 00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:02,361 Oh, look at this beautiful creature. 25 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,329 Oh, cute pony. 26 00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:06,031 ( laughs ) 27 00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,333 It's not a pony. It's a thoroughbred colt 28 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,369 Sired from two kentucky derby winners. 29 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:13,372 Wow, I was sired from an ihop waitress and a car mechanic. 30 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:17,076 Daddy's trying to win him at auction for josh. 31 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,211 It's a family tradition to buy the newly engaged man 32 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,746 A racehorse as a gift. 33 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,314 Wow, our only family tradition 34 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:23,849 Is avoiding eye contact when grandma 35 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,717 Says something racist. 36 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:29,922 Please don't talk about your life. 37 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,924 It makes me sad. 38 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:34,126 Well, it's not all sad. 39 00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:36,462 Ooh, I bought a new bra, went up a cup size. 40 00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:39,231 When does that ever happen? 41 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,433 All the time. It happened to my friend diane. 42 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,735 Though she went up two cup sizes. 43 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:45,871 And she paid for hers. 44 00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:49,475 And my sister, but of course she's pregnant. 45 00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,879 Well, I'm not that. 46 00:01:58,751 --> 00:01:59,885 Oh no! 47 00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,587 ( pants ) 48 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,589 Go away. 49 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,459 ( theme music plays ) 50 00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:15,200 ( knocking ) 51 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:20,439 Do you have the pregnancy test? I'm freaking out. 52 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,508 Okay, just calm down. You can't be pregnant. 53 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,143 You and josh used protection. 54 00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:26,879 - Right? - Abso-- maybe. 55 00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:29,348 Are you freaking kidding me?! 56 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,782 Shh! 57 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,484 How could you not use protection?! 58 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,419 I don't know. 59 00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,021 We used so much champagne I don't remember. 60 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:38,524 ( pants ) will you stop talking? 61 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:39,558 You know I can't pee when I'm nervous. 62 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,059 I have a shy bladder. 63 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,962 Well, I wish you had a shy vagina, 64 00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,364 Then we wouldn't be in this mess. 65 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,167 ( toilet flushes ) 66 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,536 - ( water runs ) - I heard that. 67 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,574 - Did you pee on it? - Yeah. 68 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:56,508 And a little on my hand. 69 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,545 Okay, we got one minute 70 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:03,081 Which gives you one minute to freak out. Go. 71 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,583 How did this happen? 72 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,918 I mean, I know how it happened, 73 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,452 But why did I let it happen? 74 00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:08,854 I mean, I finally got my dream job. 75 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,322 And it was gonna lead to my dream career. 76 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,890 And I was even gonna have my own cookbook 77 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,292 Called, "dining with debt." 78 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,426 Okay, 10 seconds. 79 00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:16,128 And now all of it could be ruined 80 00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:18,163 Because of one stupid drunken mistake. 81 00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,965 I mean, I know I'm being negative, 82 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,433 But I'm scared it's gonna be positive. 83 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,168 And time's up. 84 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,503 Do you feel better? 85 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,572 No. 86 00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:29,141 Okay, time to see-- 87 00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:30,475 Hey, josh, hey! 88 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,078 Uh, this is my roommate, sofia. 89 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,213 - Sofia, josh. - Hey. 90 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,480 - Josh, sofia. - It's nice to meet you. 91 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,615 Sofia's helping me, um, 92 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,584 Uh, cut the sandwiches 93 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,285 Into triangles. 94 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,189 Well, we're glad you're here. 95 00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,224 We can use all the help we can get. 96 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,425 - Yeah. - Gabi told you 97 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:47,859 How important this day is to me? 98 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,461 Yes, she did. 99 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,296 And it's a big day for everyone. 100 00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,633 Look, it's really important to caroline 101 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,368 That I make a good impression on her friends. 102 00:03:56,370 --> 00:04:00,072 And unlike her, they can be cold and judgy. 103 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:03,475 Well, just be yourself. I'm sure you'll be fine. 104 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,444 ( laughs ) that's the worst idea ever. 105 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:08,113 Look, I may seem confident and successful on the outside, 106 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:10,415 But on the inside, I'm just a soft, nerdy pile of goo. 107 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,050 Let me bottom-line this for you. 108 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,153 I'm so scared. 109 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:17,522 What is that? 110 00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:19,958 It's, um... 111 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,027 It's a stirrer. 112 00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:28,267 Boy, you are nervous. You know what you should do? 113 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:31,637 And go work off all that anxiety at the gym. 114 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,972 I can't. I have too much to do. 115 00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:35,474 I've got to get my tailor suited-- 116 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:38,543 My suit tailored! ( pants ) 117 00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:40,579 Oh my god. 118 00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,414 I'm sweating like a barn animal. 119 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,485 - ( harsh breathing ) - wow. 120 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,186 Now I see why you slept with him. 121 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,255 He is a babe! 122 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:53,458 Sofia, we have more important babes to worry about. 123 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,460 I can't look. 124 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,496 No, you have to. 125 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,564 - I'm positive... - ( gasps ) 126 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,500 That this one's ruined. I got to take another test. 127 00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:08,440 Socks and sandals, gabi? 128 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,175 You make it too easy. 129 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,545 Yeah, okay. 130 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,547 Gabi! 131 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,449 Insults are a two-way street. 132 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,185 If you don't react, there's no fun in it for me. 133 00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:23,288 ( hums ) 134 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,557 Yolanda, you're humming. 135 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,426 Elliot, you're annoying. 136 00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,061 See, that's how it works. 137 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,431 You only hum 138 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,533 When you have gossip. 139 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,535 What is it? Spill. 140 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,403 Will you chill out? 141 00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,638 Maybe I'm just happy? 142 00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,607 Happy I got some dirt! 143 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,142 ( laughs ) 144 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,646 Gather 'round, sisters. 145 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,516 So I was taking out the trash, you know, like I do. 146 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,453 And underneath a bunch of two-ply scented toilet paper, 147 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:58,056 That only rich people buy, I found a box for a-- 148 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,524 Wait for it-- 149 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,361 - Pregnancy test. - ( both gasps ) 150 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,662 Now I only found the box, 151 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,597 But I know exactly what's going on. 152 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,566 - You do? - Damn right I do. 153 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,735 Caroline's pregnant. 154 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,337 Caroline? 155 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,239 No wonder she's so moody. 156 00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:18,176 And I saw her almost eat ice cream. 157 00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:22,214 And she smelled a piece of cake! 158 00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:26,084 I can't wait to tell josh! 159 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,186 No, you're not telling him. I'm telling him. 160 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:31,223 Hey, no, nobody's telling anyone anything. 161 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,758 Except me. 162 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,793 Guys, he's already 163 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,194 Freaked out about this party. 164 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,763 I mean, why would we add to the stress? 165 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:41,133 Plus, we don't even know what the results of the test are. 166 00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:42,701 I mean, caroline might not even know. 167 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:46,405 You know, a lot of people screw up their first test. 168 00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:53,545 She's got a point. We shouldn't say anything. 169 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,581 Fine, but it sure takes the fun out 170 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,150 Of digging through the trash. 171 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,685 Hey, guys. 172 00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,293 You're gonna be a dad! 173 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,596 - Ha! - Damn it! 174 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,605 Wait, let me get this straight. 175 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:24,543 With no test, and you have no idea what the results are? 176 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,611 It really lacks the "umph" when you say it like that. 177 00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:31,216 I tried to stop her from telling you, 178 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,818 But you saw what happened. 179 00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:37,322 I was like indiana jones 180 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,723 Running from that boulder. 181 00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:44,830 Look, guys, I appreciate your concern, 182 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,598 But if caroline were pregnant, she would tell me. 183 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,701 Then it's settled. Let's not talk about this again. 184 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,506 Caroline, 185 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,374 You're positively glowing. 186 00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,744 Of course I am. I just had a facial. 187 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,380 - A facial for two. - Shh. 188 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,319 Josh, help me pick out something to wear. 189 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,120 I want to look so good that all my friends 190 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,789 Feel really bad about themselves. 191 00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:13,625 She's gonna be a great mother. 192 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:16,661 - Yeah, about that, yolanda. - Hm-hmm. 193 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,330 Why did you say something? 194 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,732 And then you just told josh everything! 195 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,834 I couldn't let that gossip silly piglet 196 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,436 Steal my thunder again. 197 00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:26,771 I mean, when the firemen came 198 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,807 To cut out 500-pound lou out of his apartment, 199 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,609 Elliot broke the news. 200 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,611 When mr. Lowenstein became mrs. Lowenstein, 201 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:35,280 Elliot broke the news. It's my turn! 202 00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:38,617 And how come you care so much anyway? 203 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:41,553 Because-- oh god. 204 00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,588 It's not actually, 205 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:46,558 Completely caroline's pregnancy test. 206 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,226 Well, whose test is it? 207 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,695 It's kind of completely mine. 208 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,534 What?! Oh, hell no! 209 00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:01,506 Wait, this doesn't come 210 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,774 From the night that you and josh... 211 00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:06,611 Oh, hell no! 212 00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:12,317 So are you pregnant or not? 213 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,486 I don't know, the test kinda got messed up. 214 00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:17,455 How you mess up peeing on a stick? 215 00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:19,291 It's complicated. 216 00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:21,593 Look, sofia's on her way now with another one, 217 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:24,629 Maybe I should just tell josh now. 218 00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,331 Tell him what? 219 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,233 That you might be pregnant, but you don't know. 220 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,935 What's that gonna do but upset the man? 221 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,571 Until you take a new test, you keep your mouth shut. 222 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,472 Yeah, you're right. 223 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:37,676 Damn, I'm like fema, the way I'm cleaning up all these disasters. 224 00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:42,981 ( phone rings ) 225 00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:49,487 - ( clicks ) - hey, daddy. 226 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,222 How's the horse auction going? 227 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,758 ( gasps ) we won the colt? 228 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,994 Oh! I'm so excited! 229 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:58,229 ( gasps ) oh my god. 230 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,365 We're going to be parents. 231 00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:04,536 Well, if he's anything like his father, 232 00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,471 He's going to be one handsome stud. 233 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:09,507 ( caroline giggles ) 234 00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,576 Oh, I can't wait to surprise josh 235 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,545 At the party. 236 00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:15,547 Yeah. 237 00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,616 Well, we're in for quite a ride. 238 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,618 ( giggles ) 239 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,785 Elliot! 240 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,320 Get over here quick. I need you. 241 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,989 I need you too. 242 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,959 God, it feels good to say it out loud. 243 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,397 Caroline is pregnant. 244 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,499 I'm gonna be a dad. 245 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,334 Did you tell me before yolanda? 246 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:37,836 Yes. 247 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:40,438 Yay! We're having a baby! 248 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:44,342 I mean, we didn't plan on having kids so soon, 249 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,411 But now that we are, I'm stoked. 250 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,380 I'll teach him how to read 251 00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,715 And write code. 252 00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:55,587 And I'll get him on the best-dressed toddler's list. 253 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,956 I know all about buying tiny clothes. 254 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,593 Right now, what I need you to do 255 00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:04,529 Is go out and find the greatest baby gift you can find. 256 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,031 When caroline surprises me with the big news 257 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,299 At the party, I'm gonna surprise her. 258 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,701 You can count on me. 259 00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:13,004 Magic gay powers, activate! 260 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,346 Form of an amazing baby gift! 261 00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:34,426 Whoa, sweetie. 262 00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:36,327 You sure you should be drinking? 263 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,863 Uh, yeah. 264 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,600 ( knocking ) 265 00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,571 Thank god you're here. 266 00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:47,839 Here's your... 267 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,375 ( normal ) to find out if you're... 268 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,576 ( mutters ) you know what. 269 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,912 ( whispers ) you know what? 270 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,880 Just give her the damn pregnancy test. 271 00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,550 She knows?! 272 00:11:58,552 --> 00:11:59,617 Damn right I know. 273 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,019 If you're trying to hide something, 274 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,654 Don't bury it in the bottom of a trash can 275 00:12:02,656 --> 00:12:04,122 Under a bunch of tissue and "people" magazines, 276 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,157 Where anyone can find it. 277 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,059 ( sighs ) now give me that. 278 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,794 This time I'm throwing it away. 279 00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:13,531 Your boss is always getting you in trouble. 280 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,632 ( gasps ) 281 00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:19,003 Oh man! I've been having to hold it in for an hour! 282 00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,638 I'm sorry it took so long. 283 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,140 When I got to the store, I didn't have enough cash, 284 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,442 So I had to go home shake down our couch. 285 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,144 - Oh, thank god! - You're not pregnant? 286 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,413 No, it just feels so good to pee. 287 00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:33,585 ( elevator dings ) 288 00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:37,055 ( stutters ) 289 00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,656 What the hell's all this? 290 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,595 Please tell me the german nanny on "four" 291 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,630 Left her baby in the elevator again. 292 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,465 You wish. 293 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,467 Josh asked me to get a surprise baby gift 294 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:52,837 When he texts me, I'm gonna push it into the party 295 00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:55,507 And blow her mind. 296 00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:56,641 ( stutters ) 297 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,109 But josh told us to calm down 298 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,611 And not to jump to conclusions. 299 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,112 Well, he changed his mind 300 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,814 And asked me for help. 301 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,517 "why?" you ask. Because he likes me more than you. 302 00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:09,687 You can't go in there with this stroller. 303 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:10,688 Watch me. 304 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:11,790 Elliot, I'm not playing. 305 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:12,957 Caroline's not pregnant. 306 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,692 It was gabi's test. 307 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:17,662 If you bust in there with this stroller, 308 00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:18,963 You're gonna ruin josh's life forever. 309 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,432 - Now give me that. - Like hell I will. 310 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:25,003 Unlike the windows you clean, 311 00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,838 I can see right through you. 312 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,176 You just want to wheel in the big surprise 313 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,677 And get all the credit. 314 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,546 No, I don't! 315 00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:37,882 - Yes, you do! - No, I don't! 316 00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,084 Yes, you do! 317 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,955 Oh my goodness! 318 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:47,659 Oh! Is that a suede onesie? Elliot, oh, you-- 319 00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,862 Isn't it to die for? 320 00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,063 Yes! 321 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,098 They call it a sue-onesie. 322 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,133 ( elevator dings ) 323 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,669 No! 324 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:58,803 Saboteur! 325 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,844 This is the longest minute of my life. 326 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,111 I feel like throwing up. 327 00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:08,613 That's not a good sign. 328 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,649 Sofia, I can't be pregnant. 329 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,651 I can't have a baby. I'm still a baby. 330 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:15,954 It's time. 331 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,691 Do you want me to look? 332 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,626 No, no, I'll do it. 333 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,198 Oh my god! 334 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,900 - Are you crying? - Yes! 335 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,568 Happy tears or sad tears? 336 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,737 - Happy! - Happy good or happy bad?! 337 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,706 There's no such thing as happy bad. 338 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:35,707 We're not pregnant! 339 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,008 ( both scream ) 340 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,010 - ( laughs ) - yay. 341 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,212 What's going on in here? 342 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,914 I haven't heard screams like this 343 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,582 Since I got waxed. 344 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:47,285 I'm not pregnant. We can finally relax. 345 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,287 The hell we can. Now I bought you some time, 346 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,755 But elliot is about to burst into this party 347 00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,290 With a baby carriage for caroline. 348 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:55,627 If you don't fix this, you're gonna get screwed 349 00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:56,928 For the second time in this house. 350 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,936 You sure you want to tell josh? 351 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,671 Yeah, I'm pretty sure I don't want caroline 352 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:07,805 To find out in front of all of her friends 353 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,940 That I slept with her fiance. 354 00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,042 Good point. 355 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,544 - We're done with these. - Oh, thank you. 356 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,812 - Uh, j-- - guest: Thank you. 357 00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:17,115 Thank you, nice. Oh, more, yay. 358 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:20,818 Everyone! 359 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,320 I have an announcement to make. 360 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,589 Can you all stop what you're doing? 361 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,992 ( clattering ) 362 00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,295 Sorry. 363 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,330 As you all know, 364 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,966 Josh and I are engaged. 365 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:38,269 And I just wanted to tell him in front of all of you, 366 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,604 How much I love him. 367 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,638 And I hope-- 368 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,042 Put down the scone and step away from the table! 369 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,653 As I was saying... ( giggles ) 370 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,322 Josh and I 371 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,991 Are going to be the proud parents of... 372 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,225 A baby! 373 00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:02,660 ( guests coo ) 374 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,128 Baby? 375 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,297 And I couldn't be happier. 376 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,632 No, I'm not pregnant. 377 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,300 I'm not pregnant! 378 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,369 Wait, you're not? 379 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:12,337 No. 380 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:13,938 But I heard you on the phone 381 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,606 And they found the box for your pregnancy test. 382 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,241 ( whispering ) 383 00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:18,876 I don't know what you're talking about, 384 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,012 But whatever you found is not mine. 385 00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:22,914 Well, then whose is it? 386 00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,782 Uh... 387 00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:28,686 That would be mine. 388 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:29,787 Yours? 389 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,223 Best party ever. 390 00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:36,894 Gabi, what's going on? 391 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:39,931 Uh, well, since you asked. 392 00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:42,633 Um, I had to take a pregnancy test 393 00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,669 Because I had a thing with this guy. 394 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,171 His name was, uh, edward. 395 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:50,375 And he was very tall and mysterious, 396 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,310 And, um, pale. 397 00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:55,646 It was amazing, his skin was like almost iridescent in the sun. 398 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,116 - Um, that's "twilight." - no, it's not. 399 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:07,158 My edward left me 400 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,260 To get back with his girlfriend. 401 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,729 Ugh! Men are such pigs. 402 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,365 Hand me that cupcake. 403 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:17,869 This one's not. This one's great. 404 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,938 He just, um-- he just loves somebody else. 405 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:24,809 All we had was one magical 406 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,677 Champagne infused night. 407 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,212 - ( coughs ) - woman: Aww. 408 00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:32,083 ( clears throat ) 409 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:36,054 ( coughs ) oh. 410 00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:40,691 - Hello! - Yes. 411 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:45,229 Caroline, my beautiful fiancee caroline. 412 00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:48,199 What were you saying, baby? 413 00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:52,336 I bought you a frickin' horse. 414 00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:54,872 You bought me a what-now? 415 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:56,841 I ain't cleaning up after no horse. 416 00:17:59,711 --> 00:18:02,313 A $1,000,000 champion-sired thoroughbred. 417 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,248 You're welcome. 418 00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:08,719 Sweetie, it's amazing. 419 00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,321 You obviously don't like it. 420 00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:11,756 I wasn't born yesterday. 421 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,158 I know I look like I was, but I wasn't. 422 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:18,830 No, I love it. 423 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,865 I do. 424 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,400 I just-- 425 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,169 I got kinda stoked about all the baby talk. 426 00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:27,138 But that's just it, juju. 427 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,073 He is our baby. 428 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:32,009 I named him juju jr. 429 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,781 And you know what? 430 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,483 He's beautiful, 431 00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:39,884 Just like his mama. 432 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,385 ( guests coo ) 433 00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,054 He is, isn't he? 434 00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:48,526 To juju jr. And the happy couple! 435 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:51,062 All: To juju jr! 436 00:18:58,403 --> 00:19:00,104 Hey. 437 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,606 Hey. 438 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,842 Listen, josh, I'm really sorry 439 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,477 - About what happened today. - No, no. 440 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,346 I'm sorry I put you in this predicament. 441 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:09,947 Yeah. 442 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,283 - Are we in a-- - I'm not pregnant. 443 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:13,918 Oh, thank god. 444 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,920 ( heaves sigh ) I can breathe. 445 00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,388 And I mean that in the nicest possible way. 446 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,923 Oh, I know. Yeah. 447 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,858 Hey, gabi, I hope you realize 448 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,560 - That I would've done whatever... - Oh, I know. 449 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,262 - Yeah. - Good. 450 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,463 - Good. - Good. 451 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,165 Good. 452 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,802 We're repeating because this is an awkward situation. 453 00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:34,505 - It really is! - It really is. 454 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,474 - Still awkward. - Still so awkward. 455 00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:40,178 Seriously, you're okay? 456 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,113 Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm fine. 457 00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:43,514 Are you kidding? We dodged a bullet. 458 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,983 From caroline's gun. 459 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,952 ( chuckles ) whoo! 460 00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:49,387 Yeah, that relief comes in waves. 461 00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:52,823 All right, well, I'm gonna head home for the day. 462 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,292 - Yeah, me too. - Josh, you live here. 463 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,459 I live here. 464 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:57,562 Both: Whoo! 465 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:05,536 Oh my god. 466 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:08,439 These scandinavian princess cakes are amazing. 467 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,276 Free food is such a great job perk! 468 00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:14,612 I know, some people get a 401k 469 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,314 And I get leftovers. 470 00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:19,250 Do you even know what a 401k is? 471 00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:20,484 Not a clue. 472 00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:22,553 Hmm! 473 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,388 I just thought of something. 474 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,090 - Hmm? - What if these leftovers 475 00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,225 That you keep bringing home are causing 476 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:28,426 You to gain weight 477 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,194 In your boobs? 478 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:31,596 ( gasps ) I never thought about that. 479 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,531 Another great job perk. 480 00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:35,366 That perks up my sweater! 481 00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,567 ( laughs ) yeah! 482 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,869 Give me another one. I need to catch up. 483 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:38,869 Here. 33212

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