All language subtitles for Killing.It.S01E02.720p.WEBRip.H264

- Florida Snake Hunt 2016.

Hmm.

Total length of snakes.

No more than two pieces.

Head must be included.
Oof.

$20,000 grand prize.

How to kill big snakes.

- If you ever you catch
a Burmese python,

make sure you kill it
on the spot.

- Oh, my God!

- Their teeth are so long,
so sharp.

They just puncture right down.

- You gotta protect yourself.
Gloves, heavy boots.

- You need a swamp vehicle.

- Firmly pin the snake
behind the head.

- Try not to hesitate.
- Ew.

- Take a captive bolt gun
or air pistol.

- So this might be the largest
python I've ever caught.

- Draw an imaginary X
on the back of their head.

Boom!
One shot destroys the brain.

- Here we go.

Aw, shit.

Oof.

Hey.

- Oh, yeah,
I guess it was, like,

pouring rain
till, like, one minute ago.

The weather is crazy.

I don't care what Marco says.
Climate change is real.

- I believe in climate change.

- Doesn't take two people
to answer the door, Marco.

- Were you just
hiding a bike in our bush?

- God, seriously?

Why are you so obsessed
with me?

- I am not obsessed with you.

I live here. It's my bush.

- Now it seems like
you're obsessed with bushes.

- I am not obsessed
with bushes.

- Yeah, you are,
and it's weird,

because it's not even
your bush.

- It's in front of my house.
- That you rent.

You're borrowing that bush.

- Well, at least I have a bush.
- You're a bush borrower.

- You live in an apartment.
- You're a bush borrower.

- Bush borrower.

- I'm having
a little car trouble.

That's right. You were there.

I was hopin'
I could borrow yours for work.

- Psh, you don't work.

- I do work, Marco.

I'm starting
a saw palmetto farm...

- Ooh.
- Which is a billion-dollar

international industry.

By the way, I got
a huge investor meeting.

It's big stuff.

I was hopin' I get the car
just for today.

- No--no.

- Yeah, Marco don't need
to go anywhere.

He's gotta hang around.

He's on bush patrol.

- I'm not obsessed with bushes.

- And yet here we are,
talking about bushes again.

- 5:30? No problem.

Hey.

- Name, email, phone number.

- Okay.

- Welcome packet.

- What's the whistle for?

Does it scare the snakes away
or call them to you?

- Yes.

Hello.

Hello.

I'm Wayne Persons,
and I'm here to welcome you

to the second annual
South Florida Python Challenge.

All right,
a few quick reminders:

hunting must be done

at approved competition
locations, all right?

Hooks, tongs, and bags
are permitted.

Not permitted are:

traps, explosives,
chemicals, smoke.

Dead snakes are counted
by the foot.

Fertilized eggs inside a snake
or inside a nest

are counted
as two feet of snake.

- Oh, a nest.
Ooh, boy.

That's the dream right there.
- Mm.

- You know a big female
can pop out

about 100 eggs at a time, huh?

I'd like to see her body
bounce back after that one.

- Now, before we begin, please
join me in a moment of silence

for last year's champion,
Boone Finnigan.

He was an honorable man

who passed away far too soon.

- Was he eaten by a snake?

- No.
He shot himself.

- Oh.
- He was depressed or whatever.

Actually, he used
the prize money to buy the gun.

- Damn.
- All right, that's it.

Let the games begin.

- Whoo! Yeah!

Corby, come on.
Stop shootin' me from below.

Rise up.
Get some flattering angles.

Little tricep.

- It's a camera,
not a magic wand.

- I make huntin' vids
for YouTube.

That's my cameraman.

- This child?

- He's my son.

But I'm a professional.

Got about 150,000 subscribers.

I don't say that
to intimidate you.

- I don't feel intimidated.

- Well, you should.

It's a lot of subscribers.

150K makes me an MTI.

Mid-tier influencer.

- Pretty soon, you'll be a UTI.

- Upper-tier influencer.

- I know what a UTI is, okay?

My father has dementia.
He gets them all the time.

And you just made
a very powerful enemy.

- Okay.

Okay.

- I'm sorry--
- Corby!

Come on.
Put the camera on me.

Get this turn.

Ooh.

- Hey!

- Oh, what's up, Jillian G?

- You're here.
That's so awesome.

We're gonna be unstoppable.

When we team up--you know
you can enter the contest

with a partner.

- Okay, but...
do I need a partner?

- Snake hunting is so much
easier with a team.

Everyone knows you need
a grabber and a lookout,

and I'm very good at grabbing.

- I'm sure you're
a great grabber, but...

I need all that prize money

to buy my saw palmetto farm.

- Okay, but are you sure
you can do this alone?

There is some
very intense competition.

Take a look around you.

Camo guy, camo guy,
flannel shirt, camo guy,

and look at this old-timer.

He looks like he knows
the swamps better than anyone.

- That guy's so old,
insects think he's dead.

A fly just landed on his eye.

- He's staying super still
as a hunting technique.

Any second, he's gonna
snatch it right out of the air.

Okay, well,
the camo guys mean business.

- I'ma take my chances
on my own.

But best of luck to you.

I'll see you out there.

- Okay, well, just so you know,
I'm gonna destroy you!

Hit me up on Uber
if you ever need a ride!

Looks like you've got a car
again, though,

so you probably won't need to.

- "The Business Battlefield."

"Getting Ready to Brawl."

Here's a question
I ask all my entrepreneurs:

what do you, Bill Gates,
and Jeff Bezos have in common?

You're probably thinking,
"Rita, not much."

Wrong.

You all have the same number
of hours in a day.

It's what you do with that.

- Hey there, Mr. Independent,

Mr. Single Rider.

How's the hunting?

- Pretty good.
You?

- Oh, it's going great.

I'm actually glad
you didn't want to partner up,

because I found someone else.

He's really wonderful.

- Oh, yeah? Cool.
Where is he?

- He's here.
He's just slumped over a bit.

- The bumpy road
put him right to sleep.

- You sure that guy should be
out in the sun hunting snakes?

- His name is Silas,

and he's actually
quite spry for his age.

You'd be surprised.

- Another fly just landed
on his eye.

- It's not his fault.

He takes a medication
that makes his tears sweet.

- Cool. Well, I'm glad
it all worked out for you.

You found somebody
that you're very excited about.

- Yes, I am very excited.

But if you're having
any regrets now...

- Nope.
- I would just think

that seeing how happy I am
might make you--

- Jillian, I'm good.
- What the hell?

Are you trying to replace me?

- What?
No, no.

I was just trying
to make him jealous.

He was gonna be all,
"I do wanna be partners,"

and I was gonna be all,
"Psych! You had your chance.

Later, loser."

- Oh, well, all right.

You stay away from us,

or I'll slit your throat.

He's a feisty one.

This morning, he told me if I
didn't stop tapping my fingers,

he'd bite them off one by one.

- Oh.
- Anyway,

have fun going it alone.

- The people
who really want success

will do anything to get it.

Yes, you may run
into a mountain,

but mountains
are made for climbing.

It may not always be easy,

but you
have to get comfortable

being uncomfortable.

I always tell my entrepreneurs
that the road to success

is not a road.

It's an obstacle course,

and that's a good thing,

because once you get
to the end of your journey,

you realize the journey
never actually ends.

There's always
a new mountain to climb.

But now you're prepared.

You've taken every test
and dodged every bullet.

You've been under the gun
and had your feet to the fire.

- Gotcha!

Ow!

Fuck!

- Oh, fuck.

Ugh, shit.

Ah!

Oh, shit.

Gah! Fuck!

- Yo, Craig.
- Damn!

- Hello--hello?

Craigory!
Brah, you okay?

- I think
I just broke my foot.

- So sounds like
snake huntin's goin' great.

- I'm bleeding here, Zay.
Shut up!

- Don't get mad at me.
Why'd you answer the phone?

- 'Cause I just called
an ambulance.

I thought you were them
calling back.

- Wait, you already
called an ambulance?

I thought
you just broke your foot.

I also
nailed a snake to my hand.

- What was that?
I couldn't hear you.

- I also nailed
a snake to my hand!

Is it still on there?

Hey, FaceTime me real quick.

I wanna see this shit.

- Oh, my God!

Are you okay?

- Not doin' great, Jillian G.
- Ah!

Oh, you fuckup.

- Look at that.

You got him right in the brain.

At least
he didn't feel any pain.

- Oh, I'm so glad
this dead snake is comfortable.

- I'm gonna try
to pull the nail out.

Maybe it won't hurt.

I read somewhere that there's
a part of the human hand

that doesn't have any nerves.

Not that part!

- Silas,
you're on tons of medication.

Do you have any painkillers?

I've got diclofenac.

- What are those for?
- I have no idea.

I just eat whatever jangles
in my pocket.

But he can't have any.

- Damn.
- He's the enemy.

I hope you die out here.

- I'm not taking
some old man's mystery pills.

Besides,
I already called an ambulance.

- Craig,
do you have health insurance?

- No. I mean, I had it,
but then I got fired.

- That's a shocker.

- You really don't wanna call
an ambulance.

Having them come
all the way out here

is gonna be so expensive.

- Can't be that expensive.

- Like, $1,500.
- What? Shit.

- That's how much
they charged me

when I fell off
the water slide.

I have debt collectors
calling me to this day.

That's why I have to answer
all unknown calls as...

A little boy named Simon.

- Just don't answer
the unknown calls.

But what if
I've won a sweepstakes?

- Well, I obviously don't have
$1,500 lying around.

Fuck!
- I could take you to my friend

who's a doctor.

She'll see you
for a couple hundred bucks,

maybe for free
because she's my friend.

We're really good friends.

- The amount of times
you said she's your friend

makes me feel
like she's not your friend.

But if she's a doctor...

- Oh, she's a great doctor
and my friend.

Screw it.

What have I got to lose?

Ah, shit.

Guess we gotta tell them
to turn around.

- They're gonna
charge you anyway.

They bill you as soon
as you make the call.

But I can get us out of here.
Hide the snake.

- Hide the snake?
It's nailed to my hand.

- Just put it behind your back.

Okay, act natural.

Big normal smiles.

- We got a call about a man

with a snake
nailed to his hand.

- Oh, well, sadly
none of us are that man,

but good luck in finding him.

But now you mention it,
I did see someone like that.

- Okay. So where?

- He went to the bathroom.

That's his car back there
with the billboard.

He'll probably go back to it.

- I'm sorry. Who are you?

You're all just
out in the swamp,

unrelated to the call?

- Yup.

We're having a swamp day.

Lil' swamp romp.

We're a family.

This is my husband
and his father.

My father?

- Anyway, we better get going.

Get in the car, boys!

Mum's driving.

- Whose mom are you?

- I'm the mother
to two young sons.

They're no longer with us.

But I'll always be a mother.

- Oh, now to just grab
the nail gun and...

Oh, yeah.

And we're off!

- I can see the snake
on your hand, man.

- Don't know
what you're talking about.

- You called us out here.

We need to get
your name and information.

- Go, go, go.
Silas, meet us at the car!

- Are you worried about
leaving your car back there?

- Why, because that billboard
is my livelihood

and it contains
all my worldly possessions?

A little bit,
but I'll figure it out.

Let's just get you
to the doctor.

- Hey, thank you for helping me

with the ambulance back there.

- My pleasure.

And I was thinking...

neither of us
is gonna win this thing alone.

If you did wanna team up,

I could invest my half of the
prize money in your business,

and you could make me
a partner.

- I knew it.

You're throwing me to the curb.

- Oh, I'm sorry, Silas.

But you're really not
a great partner.

You're slow.
You're mean.

You think everything's a snake.
- I'm not mean.

- Come on, Silas.
You're a dick.

- All right.
I'm sorry if I'm competitive.

But I need to earn that money
to pay for my funeral.

- Wait, Silas,
are you dying?

- Do I look like I'm dying?

- I mean...
- Well, you are...

- I wouldn't be a shock if--
- Advanced in years.

- The answer is no.
I'm not dying.

- Good.

- And you don't have family

to take care of funeral stuff?

- I got nobody.

And when you die in Florida
with no money,

you know what they do?

They cremate you.

Put you in a plastic bag

and throw you over
in a file cabinet.

Unless you're an unknown.

And then you get buried
so they can identify you later.

Stupid unknowns.
They get everything good.

- I'm sorry, Silas.

- Oh, don't be sorry.

When I win the 20 grand,
I'm gonna have a real burial

and a tombstone.

"Here lies Silas Humphries,

"treasurer of the Scott Lake
Business Council.

"Coauthored a report
that convinced the Dolphins

to build Joe Robbie Stadium
at its current location."

- Very long.
- It's a lot of information

for a tombstone.
- It's a bit clunky.

- Yeah...
I just want people to know

that my life meant something.

- How far is this doctor?
- I don't know.

The mall's, like,
ten minutes away.

- The mall?

- Okay, now,
before you meet her,

I do have to come clean.

You were right.

I'm not really friends
with Tasha.

She rode in my Uber, and
I thought we really hit it off.

But she never responded

to any of the follow-up texts
I ever sent her.

- I don't care if she's
your friend, Jillian G.

I care that she works
next to a Wetzel's.

- Okay, wow.
That is crazy.

- It really is.

Do you know what else is crazy?

The fact that you and I
never hung out

after we totally hit it off.

I mean, I idled
at your destination

for, like, six minutes
so we could

finish our conversation.

Remember?
- I think I was drunk.

- Right, that makes sense.

That's so Tasha.

- Can we hurry up and get
this thing off me, please?

- Yeah, let me just fire up
the cool sculpting machine.

- Cool sculpting machine?

- Yeah, well,
it's made for fat-freezing,

but I think I can probably
get the snake real cold

and then just crack it off.

- But no, no,
you gotta give me anesthesia

and then sew me back up.

- Yeah, this is a med spa.

I was really only trained
for the cool sculpting.

It was, like, a two-day seminar
in Boca.

That's why I get to wear
this cool coat.

- Fuck this. I'm out.
Take me to a real doctor.

- Tasha is a real doctor.
- No.

We're not allowed to represent
ourselves that way.

They were very clear
about that in Boca.

- This is crazy.
I should've never let you

talk me out of the ambulance.

- I was just trying
to be helpful.

- You were trying
to replace me.

- Look, you have to get
over that, Silas.

- But why, though?

Why you want me
to be your partner so bad?

We barely even know each other.

- I just...
really need money.

Every day is so stressful,

and I know I can't win
this thing on my own

or with fucking Silas.

But then you came along,

and I guess I just don't have

that many people
in my life right now,

except for Tasha.

- I literally don't know
your name.

- Her name is Jillian G.,

and I'm sorry your life
is stressful.

But my life is stressful too.

It's only gotten more stressful

since the moment
I got in your car.

You might be
the most stressful person

I ever met in my life.

So now you're gonna drive me
back to Camille's,

and I'ma return her car.

Then I'ma get in a cab
and go to the hospital

like a normal person.

- All right. Sorry.

Let's go to Camille's.
Who's Camille?

- My ex-wife!
- Right. Okay. Context clues.

I'll call you, Tasha.

- I'm sorry about earlier.

I just thought you were trying
to steal my partner.

You can have some...
if you want.

Jangle, jangle.

- I'm sorry.
My meeting ran long.

- It's my fault.
I made us stop for milkshakes.

We finished them and threw away
the cups and napkins.

I'm Jillian, by the way.

- These are my colleagues
from my new job.

It's a pretty great job.

I'd go into it, but I don't
want Marco to feel threatened.

- What's she saying?
Is she buying it?

She still looks really upset.

- She can read lips,
Jillian G.,

and Marco can fully hear you.

- Who's Marco?

Wait. Context clues.

I know who Marco is.

- Okay, you met Jillian.
We had small talk.

Marco offered nothing.

Now to just shut the door.

- What the fuck is that?

- It's a Burmese python, Marco.

- I'm doing this snake-hunting
contest for money,

and I accidentally nailed it
to my hand.

I know.
I've been lying all day.

I'm the asshole.

Yeah,
I'm goin' to the hospital.

I'll be fine.
It's okay.

You can yell at me.

- What?
No, be angry.

You're supposed to be angry.

I don't need help.

I need you to be angry

because you expect
more from me.

- Like when a dog
eats chocolate?

That's how you see me?

I'm an adult man

with a legitimate career plan.

I don't want your pity.

If you're not gonna yell at me,
I'm leavin'.

Let's go, Jillian.

Let's go, Silas.

Silas.

Silas!

Fuck.

He dead.

- Can you bag this up for us,
please?

- Sure.

- I understand
you knew the deceased.

- Yeah, we were--
- We didn't know him at all.

Met him this morning.
Never even got his real name.

He just wanted us
to call him Pops.

- So there's nothing
you can tell me about him--

where he lived,
where his family's at?

- No. He just said,
"I'm Pops,"

and those were the last words
he ever spoke.

- Well, I'll be back
to take your info down

in case there are
more questions.

- Happy to be of service.
Take care of Pops for us!

- What was that?

- I took Silas' wallet
before they got here,

so he has no ID on him.

He's officially an unknown,

so now he can be buried
like he wanted.

- Okay,
but what about his pills?

Didn't the bottle in his pocket
have his name on it?

- Oh, shit.

I'll go grab 'em.
You create a distraction.

- Create a distraction?
- You'll be great.

- Hello.

Hey, I just remembered
some more stuff about Pops.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

He said he was born
in Tennessee.

- Did he say where
in Tennessee?

- He did.
I ju--I can't remember where.

Maybe you could name
some places in Tennessee,

jog my memory.

- Nashville?

- No, it wasn't nothing
like that.

- Memphis?
- Oh, don't be silly.

Can you name
some street addresses?

- Street addresses
in Tennessee?

- Yeah, it was a weird number,

something I never thought
could be a house.

- Hey, that junkie's
stealing drugs from a corpse!

- No, I wasn't!

That's not what was happening!

I wasn't stealing drugs!

I was just--

I just wanted to touch
this dead man's dick!

No law against that!

- There definitely is.

- Right, yeah.
So I was stealing drugs.

But I'll just put them back
right now.

There they are.
Back.

- No!
Come back here!

- Almost there.

- Jillian G.

- Hey.

What are you doing here?

- I brought your house back.

Plus, I wanted to see
how much trouble you were in.

- It's only a misdemeanor since
Silas can't press charges.

It's actually a good loophole,
stealing from a corpse.

- You mean grave robbing?

- I guess I do mean
grave robbing.

Grave robbing is a life hack.

- Yeah, well, anyway,

you were right.

I obviously
can't do this alone,

and since you're without
a partner now,

I came to see if you're still
interested in teamin' up.

- Really?

I thought I was
the most stressful person

you've ever met.

- That was before I saw
what you did for Silas.

That was pretty cool.

- Thank you.

You know I didn't
actually touch his dick.

- I meant about the pills.

You knew him for, like,
12 hours,

and he was kind of an asshole,

and you were still
willing to go to jail

just to help him out.

- I just wanted him
to get buried

so his life meant something.

But I guess he's still not
gonna get that tombstone.

- I actually had a thought
about that.

Ooh, that was a good day.

- Great day.
See you tomorrow, partner!

- Partner.

- Craig.
- Oh, hey, Mr. Palimides.

- Can I talk to you?
- Yeah, what's goin' on?

- I need to show you something.

Is that your apartment?

Are you making pornography
in my building?

- No, no.
That's not my apartment.

I mean, I could see
where it looks like it

'cause of the layout,

but no, mine is
actually very different.

What the fuck?

- I want you out by tomorrow.

Fuck.

- Not a doctor. Shh.