Original subtitles

World's revolving around her, I guess.

You made it.

Who decided to join us?

Ooh, purple, huh?

For Boylton.

Okay,

like Samantha here, are we ready to start?

Oh, yeah, we can start.

Let's get started.

From south, we have Amy.

Amy is a freshman at UT with a 3 .61 GPA. She is majoring in

pre -law.

Her hometown is Pottsville, Pennsylvania, where she graduated from

School with a 4 .0 GPA.

Amy scored an 88 on the Lesbian Legal Intern Attitude Test, an 84 on the

Lesbian Legal Hypothetical Questions Exam, and a 95 on the Lesbian Legal

Questions Essay.

Based on three references, she was given the following rating.

Motivation, very good.

Interpersonal, excellent.

Ability to grasp concepts quickly, very good.

Seriousness of purpose, very good.

Pays attention to detail, excellent.

And intellectual curiosity is very good.

Amy identifies as a lesbian and her current romantic status is single.

Are there any questions for Amy?

All right. Next up, we have Heather.

Heather is currently a junior at the University of Thornhill with a 3 .94

She is majoring in pre -law.

Her hometown is Des Moines, Iowa, where she graduated from Sutton High School

with a 3 .97 GPA.

Heather scored a 92 on the Lesbian Legal Intern Aptitude Test, a 68.

on the Lesbian Legal Hypothetical Questions exam, and an 84 on the Lesbian

Policy Questions essay.

Based on three references, she was given the following ratings.

Motivation, excellent.

Interpersonal, excellent.

Ability to grasp concepts quickly, good.

Fierceness of purpose, very good.

Pays attention to detail.

Excellent.

Intellectual curiosity is excellent.

Heather identifies as a lesbian and her current romantic status is single.

Are there any questions for Heather?

Yes. Heather, a 68 on a hypothetical exam?

What do you have to say for yourself?

Um, yeah, I'm sorry. I came in a little late that day. I had some personal

issues that I had to deal with.

That's pretty vague, Heather.

I just need you to know that your personal situations come second when you

here.

All right, and last up is Sunset.

Sunset is currently a sophomore at CYU with a 3 .58 GPA. She is

majoring in pre -law.

Her hometown is Albuquerque, New Mexico, where she graduated from Central High

School with a 3 .9 GPA.

Sunset scored an 81 on the Lesbian Legal Intern Attitude Test, a 95 on the

Lesbian Legal Hypothetical Questions Exam, and an 89 on the Lesbian Legal

Questions Essay.

Based on two references, he was given the following rating.

For motivation, excellent.

Interpersonal, very good.

Ability to grasp concepts quickly, good.

Seriousness of purpose.

Excellent.

Pay attention to detail.

Very good.

And intellectual curiosity is very good.

Sunset identifies as a lesbian and her current romantic status is single and

is knocked out of the closet.

Are there any questions for Sunset?

Sunset, you're holding back.

And, you know, you need to be very direct in this business. So any plans on

coming out of the closet?

No, I'm sorry. My parents didn't approve of this lifestyle, so I'm going to have

to keep it on the down low.

Thank you. That's nice.

Yes, yes. I would like to see the girl in the middle, her kids out, please.

A little quicker.

Okay.

Nice. Nice.

Is that all?

Yeah.

I'm good. How are you? So good to see you. I know.

How do you think you did? I think I did really well. Oh, that's so great. We

want to celebrate. Can we take you out to dinner? Yes, of course. Yay.

That'd be so nice. And you'll have to tell me all about everything, all your

friends and everything.

Yes, of course.

Oh. Hi.

Hi, how are you? Hello. I'm Mrs.

Diane. And I am.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you as well. Beautiful.

See where she gets her looks. Oh, thank you. It's very sweet of you.

Will you guys want to celebrate?

Absolutely. We would love for you to join us again.

No, no. I'm going to stay back and do something.

I understand.

Are you guys meeting up with a boyfriend of hers or something?

No, no. We try to keep the boyfriends away. We don't really want... We're very

selective about that. Really? No boyfriends at all, huh? Mm -mm.

Okay,

well, what about this? Can we possibly meet up?

Later this week. I would love that. Let's do that. Yeah, that would work.

Lunch comes. On me.

Yeah. That would be great.

Okay. That was great. Thank you very much. It was lovely meeting you. And you

did a wonderful job today. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you.

Nice to meet you.

I know me too. I did really well.

Hi. Hi.

I'm India.

Yeah, I know. Nice to meet you in person.

Yeah. So, I had a question for you about your answer this morning.

Yeah. You said you were late to our hypothetical exam.

I was just wondering what your situation was exactly.

Well, the morning of the exam, I was getting ready to go real early, but I

call from my mom and said that my dad's carpenter shop had burnt down the night

before.

So I kind of wanted to go over there and see if he was okay.

But as soon as I called the school to get them to retake my test, they said

they couldn't do that. So that's why my score was so low.

Look, Heather, sweetie, every day cats have kittens, and every day dogs get run

over by cars.

Every day a family business gets burned to the ground.

But you know what?

Every day attorneys show up at lesbian legal.

Can you imagine that?

Yeah, I mean, I know.

I need you to know, Heather, if you're going to make it in this business, you

need to step it up from here on out.

Yes, ma 'am.

You know, we do have some paying internships here, but you have to prove

you're serious about this business.

Is that something that you're even interested in?

Oh, yes. If I could get a paying internship, it would really help me go

school and help my dad out a lot.

Well, there is a very high -profile criminal case coming up. I think your

could probably use that money to get his business back running up.

Yeah. It's $1 ,200 a week. Do you think that that would get you through the rest

of your senior year? Oh, definitely. That would help so much. Yeah.

Well, you know what? I like you, Heather.

But I'm going to take a little extra credit on your part, you know?

A little after class.

Special attention.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Yeah.

I think that we could be friends.

Special friends.

Yeah. Very special friends.

What do you think about that?

I think that's a good idea.

Do you?

It's a good answer.

Open your legs.

Don't be nervous.

Wow, that feels good.

Oh.

Like this? Just like that.

Yeah.

You're gonna rub it on mine? Yeah. I mean, that's fucking hot. It's good when

do that. Mm -hmm.

Oh, you're so good at that.

Hi, Louisa.

Hey, Georgia.

How are you?

Good. Just waiting for my stepmom.

Yeah, I think it might be a minute. She's not allowed to do something with

body.

It's okay. I can wait.

How have I been?

I've been pretty good.

Same old, same old.

Yeah, you stole that stupid boyfriend?

Thank God, no.

It's still over.

I'm so happy. Yeah, thank God.

Let's keep sitting in her chair like that.

Well, you know. It should be your office.

It should be. Maybe one day, right?

Could always hope.

Yeah, you're studying hard.

Studying hard, playing hard, a little bit of everything, so.

But enough of me. Back to you with that stupid boyfriend gone. That means you're

free Saturday, right?

The Saturday?

Yeah, that's true.

I don't have any plans. I don't have a single plan.

Well, good.

Let's go out.

Sure, yeah. Where do you want to go?

I don't know. I'll figure it out as we go along.

You should wear some fuck -me -heels, though.

Definitely. Fuck -me -heels?

Yeah.

I think I've got some fuck -me -heels that I can pull out of the closet.

Good. That's true.

Yeah. You're going to wear yours, too. Yeah, definitely.

To be alive.

always something you learn here at lesbian legal always wear your fucking

out never know what position to put in all right

well i'm gonna get out of here before i get in trouble go to work or something

See you.

Mmm.

It's pretty good.

I picked them myself.

Did you?

Mm -hmm.

You did?

Right. It's hot as hell. All of them.

You got some right here.

Mmm.

Mmm.

It smells so good.

Mmm.

Thanks, baby.

I'm glad you're here.

I've always

had this little crush on you.

What?

Yeah, but I'm really not supposed to go to the office and cause more trouble

than there already is.

I don't think you could cause more trouble than there already is.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Hmm.

I don't want to be in your body

um

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Hmm. Hmm.

What is that?

It's my new boyfriend.

Oh, really?

And my good mom.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Are you going to say her name to me? Mm -hmm.

And I need your pussy.

Oh. Mm.

Good.

I don't know.

I don't know if you do.

Oh.

You're all looking so bad.

Oh God.

Okay.

Miss Calvert. Hi. Hi. Hi. I'm Miss Mason. Oh, Miss Mason. I'm one of the

attorneys here at Lesbian Legal.

Perfect. Perfect.

My assistant let me know that you were going to be stopping by today, so I

wanted to make a point to say hello to you. Perfect. Thank you. Nice to have

here. Yeah. It's a beautiful office.

I've really enjoyed meeting you so far and have some details more present

I know.

Lovely. Lovely with your eyes. Thank you. Thank you. Miss Calvert.

Miss Summer here.

Hi. Glad you could join us at Lesbian Legal today.

Hi. This is our intern, Heather.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Extensively interviewing her.

Excellent. Yeah. Is there anything we can get you?

No, I was just getting a friend for my baby.

Heather, you should get her some water. Oh. Yeah.

Thank you. Well, I think you'll find everyone here very helpful.

Very. Yeah.

Very eager to help you. I think that.

So, you just let us know.

Excellent. Perfect.

You're represented well. I brought in my father's briefcase built with this.

Wow.

I'm really looking forward to that. You're going to be here a while. Miss

Albert? Yes.

Miss Scott, we'll see you now.

Oh, perfect.

Okay. Okay, so I guess I just go down the hall?

Yes. Okay. Nice to meet you.

You too, lady.

Thank you.

How nice of you to interrupt.

Ah. kisser.

Okay,

so let me tell you, I'm doing

a freelance article on the prostitution industry, and it's something the public,

you know, they could never get enough of it.

This article isn't going to be critical.

Basically, it's going to be getting down to the dirty, nitty -gritty side of

prostitution. Okay.

So, you know, well, you know, I do know a lot about that.

I can give you some tips and some pointers that I love making.

I can also, you know, tell you about drugs, pimps, johns, you know.

That's going to probably start out at about...

I'd say a couple hundred bucks.

If you want more specifics, you know, like some crazy stories and stuff that

I've done, you know, situations that are, like, true, very unbelievable

but true, you know, that's going to be another couple hundred.

Hmm.

Well, that's interesting, but what would I need to do to

get... You know, names of some of your prominent clients.

Names.

Yeah, I can do that.

For another $400.

Well, make it to $300 and you got a deal.

Let me see the money first.

All right.

One,

two. Three, four, five, six, seven.

Okay, let's get down to the nitty gritty. Tell me your craziest story.

All right.

I was working at this ranch in Nevada.

And this guy, this client would come in all the time from Carson City.

One night he's there and he recognizes his wife.

as one of the girls that is working at the establishment.

He totally freaks out. He thinks he's having, like, a dream.

It was the craziest thing ever.

Like, she told him she was working at some store out of town or something for,

like, the last two months.

It's pretty crazy, pretty surreal for him.

The last thing that I heard, they were getting divorced.

I don't know.

I mean, imagine finding your wife working at a brothel.

It's pretty crazy.

Interesting.

So how do you think a woman feels when she finds out her man's been seeing a

prostitute?

I can tell you firsthand how that feels. It happened to me before I was ever a

prostitute. The guy that I was dating.

I mean, you know, I find out he's frequenting prostitutes.

It's pretty shocking.

I didn't say anything to him that night. I mean, I didn't sleep.

I couldn't work. I couldn't do anything.

I didn't even say anything to him. I woke up the next morning, grabbed my

and I split.

You know, I mean, to think that, you know, this sweet man that I'm involved

with, that I was falling hard for, you know, could do this to me. And the way

rationalized it, it wasn't even right. You know, he, like, took our whole

situation and just kind of, like, put it into the back of his head and kind of,

you know, like...

justified it by saying that it wasn't me.

You know, it wasn't me. You know, they all say that it wasn't you.

You know, I don't know.

It was pretty fucked up.

But, you know, it is what it is. I mean, I left them and, you know,

now I'm doing it. It's fascinating that it's happened to you, but don't you feel

bad?

Not really. I mean, not anymore.

I know how to handle it now. I mean...

It's just sex. I mean, besides, I, you know, I don't see just men.

You have women clients?

They're not clients.

All of my clients are men.

But, you know, once or twice a month, there's this girl that I see, Patricia.

She's a divorcee, a single mom.

And being that I'm a single mom also and I do this job.

just so that I can spend time with my kid, you know, and provide for him.

You know, I mean, I like to have my own special little things too, and

Patricia's one of them.

You know, we go to dinner, have sex, but what makes our whole situation

different is that I actually pay her to have sex with me.

Oh my, I don't understand.

Why not a man?

Please. I mean, men are so much more complicated.

I mean, you know, with Patricia, everything's just easy, you know?

She's a better lover, too.

I mean, you've never been with a woman before?

Well, as a matter of fact, I did see my first woman this past week.

Really?

Hmm.

So tell me.

Peyton.

Did you like it?

Well, let's just put it this way. My husband has never gotten me off like

before. Ever.

Really?

Well, there are quite a few things that I could teach you and show you.

It wouldn't even cost you a penny.

Well, I don't know.

Come on.

I mean...

I'm sure you're very curious.

You didn't invite me here just to get the story.

That's not what I'm getting.

Just give me a kiss.

And I don't kiss men either. I save that especially for my women.

Isn't it what you were looking for?

Oh, you're pretty good.

Thank you.

Come here.

I'm going to get hot soon.

Thank you.

Ah.

Oh, you're better.

Oh my god.

Oh, God.

Oh my God.

Department.

Ladies. Michelle.

Fancy seeing you again.

Ladies, you're under arrest for prostitution.

Matt Blondie. Cuff him.

Searching for weapons.

Ladies, you have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.

You have a right to have an attorney present before any questioning.

Don't try to arrest.

Come on.

You guys know me right now.

Give me your other hand.

Give me your right hand.

Do you guys have anything better to do?

Michelle, shut up.

We've been doing this about a dozen times now in the last week or more.

There we go.

There you go. God.

Max. Check for their ID.

Nothing in there. Prosecution.

Michelle, you're already on probation.

There's the dot up until.

Just go with the program.

It's like we've got some party balls here.

Yeah, this is felony

Little dope, lots of cash.

Grab her leg. Grab her leg. I know Michelle.

I ain't worried about Michelle.

Blondie, I'm not going anywhere.

And you know what, Blondie?

A little contraband constitutes a felony.

Felony. Oh, now requires a cavity search. You're not serious.

Yep. Pull.

Blown.

Here you go, Blondie. Grab this one.

Cavity search.

This is nothing like what they do with you in prison.

Be ready for it.

Anything I'm going to find in there, baby? No.

Am I going to have to stick my whole hand in to see what's there?

You might have to, boss.

I think so. I think it'll fit, too. I think you might have to do that.

I think I just might.

It won't hurt as much if you stop resisting.

Shut your mouth.

You know, my husband is a prominent surgeon.

Okay, now.

I think I see some pretty good headlines.

Mm -hmm.

That can't happen.

Can't happen? No. Oh, well, it is.

Media checks our logs at least twice a day. Uh -huh.

You'll be getting to read about yourself first thing in the morning's paper.

Along with everybody else.

Prominent surgeon.

Wife.

Prostitute. No, no, no, no.

No. Cocaine and prostitution.

Not just prostitution.

lesbian prostitution.

No, I was doing an article. I was doing an article on prostitution.

And you were writing with your tongue?

Well... She really takes her business serious.

We're doing a little braille with our tongue there, getting that article out

now, aren't we?

And I guess all the others for you, Michelle, were writing articles too?

I'm not talking.

I've been through this. Finally, finally got it right.

Whatever.

All right, Blondie. We don't have to say anything to them. Should we take her in

the other room?

Get her name.

Blondie and I here will take this one back to the headquarters.

She's a pretty one.

The pretty girl here. What about Operation Catch -Em?

Ooh.

Turn over, Matt. Think of that.

Here, let's see.

There we go.

Let's see.

Pretty girl.

Pretty girl.

Boy, what they would do you in prison.

You think prostitution?

I don't think they'd see one that pretty.

You think she'd be a good part of that thing?

You know, I think she'd fit perfect.

You know, good call.

Good call.

You want to work off these charges, missus?

I would just do anything to get out of this mess.

Anything.

Anything. Anything.

I don't know. I kind of like the looks of the paper. We haven't had a good one

in a long time.

True. True.

To work part of this thing, you're going to have to be a prostitute.

Prostitute. Prostitute.

Not just a prostitute.

A lesbian prostitute.

Doesn't seem like you're having much trouble doing that already. Yeah, it

seem a whole lot different than what's going on right here.

That's what they all say. And we're writing them. Well, you can just

the article. You can continue to write with your tongue.

There's only a couple of things.

Everything's videotaped for evidence.

All the money that you collect in this thing and your little prostitution acts,

just like kind of now money comes to us.

And you got to work this ring for a while.

Yep. And get us some good bait before you get it worked off.

Okay. I'll do it. Anything.

Anything. You screw up one time, we keep the charges.

They love you in jail.

Well, I take the... You guys done?

No, the regular.

Regular end?

Whom we should probably make a candidate, only she really does like it

Yeah, exactly.

And get pretty's name here.

All righty. No problem. Come on.

Okay,

let's have it. What's your name?

Mrs. Pell.

Oh, another juggle set of women.

Down the drain.

I can't believe how gullible they all are.

They all fall for it.

They do. Another day, another dollar? Yep.

Like that.

You like my place?

Get some grub.

Yeah? Can I come with you? Yes.

You want to take me out?

Take me out for a drink?

Yes. All right.

See ya. Drinks are on me. See ya. You guys be safe.

It's cold in this room.

Well, Blondie, you did a mighty awesome job today.

Thank you. As always.

You know, in here, kind of all alone, with

Candice and Michelle.

Um, I've got to get going.

Just sit with me a little while. Let me kind of help you relax after that.

Hard day you had?

Um... Relax, it's alright.

You're my boss, it's kind of hard to relax.

Yeah, your boss does.

Relax.

You know, there's that rule in the handbook.

Yeah, but I wrote that handbook.

So, I get to break the rules if I want to.

And you, you make me want to. to bite those girls.

You definitely make me want to bite girls.

So, girls.

So far, we're not going to put you in that sting operation.

I knew there was a lot under there.

I'm getting much better when I do that now.

Find out lots of things

Thank you.

Do you still want him more?

I don't know.

100, 200, 300, 400, 500, 600, 20,

40, 60, 80, 700.

Nice job, Candy Girl.

Thank you. How'd it go?

Pretty good.

Easier than I thought. Yeah, we just busted down the door. There they were.

Start naked. Both of them. Two of them. Bam.

Wow. I did not think Peyton would go that far.

Yeah. The prostitute was pretty hot. I'd do her myself.

Oh. Well, you certainly had them convinced that you guys were for real.

yeah, totally.

They were so scared. How long did it take her to agree to the plea bargain?

Not long at all. She was so scared. I just told her that if she didn't

cooperate, I'd have to take it all to the media.

Piece of cake.

Excellent.

I'm surprised she had $700 on her, though.

$723, actually. We used $3 for parking and $20 for donuts for the game.

Yeah, I don't remember telling you to splurge on lunch or anything.

Wow. Geez. All right.

I suppose you want to bet. All right.

There you go.

Thank you.

Wow.

What do you suppose their extra legal fees are going to be for this?

Sky high.

Nice job. Yeah.