Original subtitles

I'm nervous.

I'm going to take it one step at a time.

I'm absolutely petrified.

12 virgins are travelling to a unique island retreat...

...that could change their lives forever.

This is maybe the strangest day of my life.

Being a virgin at the age of 22 feels very lonely.

I've just sort of given up all hope.

In a world saturated with sex,

more young adults than ever

are caught in an intimacy epidemic.

The thought of having sex with someone...

Scares me.

It gives me the ick.

I don't feel confident. I'm missing out.

Terrified at the thought of it. Nerve-racking.

Gut-wrenching. Embarrassing.

All I think about is what I'm going to get wrong.

Can you point to the outer labia?

Nope.

Now.... Oh, my God!

...they're getting a crash course in intimacy.

Social media, porn, dating apps.

There are so many negative messages

and we can help them blossom.

Use it by stimulating the area.

Guided by a team of experts...

You see yourself as... Repulsive.

...they'll confront their insecurities...

I'm hiding how upset I actually feel.

...exploring intimacy in every form.

Yes. Yes. Good.

And maybe... Do you want to put a condom on?

...have sex with a trained therapist.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Or even one another.

Why are you nervous around me? I don't know.

That's so good.

I really do need to change my life.

The question is...

Get a room, guys.

...who will finally be ready...

Just, like, a bit anxious. ...to go all the way...

Touching you here good? Mm-hm.

...on Virgin Island?

It is such a beautiful day to show up on the island.

It's perfect.

For the next three weeks... Hi.

Hi. ..this ground-breaking retreat

will be home to 12 young people...

Would you like a hug? Yeah. Go on, then.

...from all over the UK...

Hello. You must be Tegan.

Yes. ..who need help.

Well, I didn't fall in the sea,

so I've done better than I thought I was going to do.

I've never kissed anyone. I've never dated anyone.

I've never had sex with anyone.

I am a grade-A virgin.

My life just can't go on like this.

I just need to take your phone. Yes, of course.

The retreat's rules include a full break

from the pressures of technology.

So you can just, like, dive in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You see sex everywhere.

Sex sells is the old cliche,

be it from social media, porn,

but always playing on my mind is that I can't get an erection.

Being a virgin at the age of 28,

I feel almost a failure in many ways.

The group will live on the island for three weeks...

Oh, this is your accommodation.

...totally cut off from the distractions of modern life...

Go ahead and get settled. OK? There's clothes there.

Thank you.

...including the pressures of their appearance.

Oh, wow. They're giving off jungle vibes.

I've always hated my body

and I've got badly bullied over it in the past.

I'm terrified to be naked in front of someone.

It does make me cry when I think about it.

Yeah, it makes me really upset.

Before the course begins, the group have a chance

to get to know each other at the hang-out.

Hello.

Callum. I'm Katie. Hi. Nice to meet you. Hi.

Where are you from? Blackpool.

I'm from Peterborough.

Peterborough? Yeah.

Shithole.

I literally don't do anything other than sit on my computer 24/7.

I'm definitely addicted to gaming.

I don't really interact with any girls.

It makes me feel alone.

Where are you from?

Oh, so, born in the UK but raised in South Africa but live in the UK.

I instantly don't trust men.

Alex, nice to meet you. Hi.

It makes me a bit sad

and I don't really know what to do about it, to be honest.

So how old are you? I'm 28. You're 28.

I'm 23. I'm 22. 26.

I'm quite robotic with... with women.

I've had no girlfriends.

That's a bit sad, isn't it?

We've got another person.

Hi. Oh! Hiya.

With sexual intimacy,

I feel a little bit broken.

I can't have sex.

I have a condition called vaginismus.

If somebody tried to touch my vagina,

it would be pain and it would be discomfort.

And I'm living life in fear.

The way that you're seen as a woman

who can't physically have sex is like, what's the point?

One of the reasons that people are not having sex

is there's just a lot more self-consciousness.

Everybody is being watched all the time,

you know, by their parents, by social media, by their friends.

Hello. So we're seeing a lot more people

just not getting out there and connecting.

There's lots of fear around being cancelled

and they're terrified of failing.

But we got amazing results last time,

and I have really high hopes for this new group of virgins.

Hi, everyone. I'm Ellen.

THEY ALL GREET ELLEN Nice to meet you all.

How old are you? Um, 35.

Wow! Only just!

I don't want to get to 40 and still be the virgin.

The expectation of your marriage. You've got kids.

And, at 35, I haven't got those things.

I feel like a freak, really.

And like, I've, you know, let people down.

Yeah.

So is anyone else in the LGBTQ+ community?

Obviously. Yay!

I'm not going to be the only gay on the island.

Trust me, you're not.

I grew up in a very traditional town.

There wasn't a lot of open queer people.

When I knew I was bi, I didn't tell my parents.

I was actually quite scared.

I identify as bisexual,

but I'm quite a late bloom.

At school, it was a discussion about masturbation.

I thought it was a game show.

I thought it was Mastermind.

Hello! Hello, hello. My name's Ed.

What secret do you want to know first?

What's your star sign?

That's always a question.

I feel like an outsider a lot of the time.

A big part of that is my disability.

I was born without a right pectoral.

Restricted movement in my wrist and my arm.

It has impacted the way I am.

I wouldn't have the confidence to talk to girls.

I find it really hard.

Hey! You're the last one.

Hi. My name's Will.

I've just turned 30. I'm a virgin.

Being a virgin, it's not something I'm proud of.

Something I experienced when I was younger

is premature ejaculation.

I fear that may still be an issue now.

So I think when I have sex for the first time,

it's going to be really quick.

HE LAUGHS

The idea of, like, having sex is like, it's a faraway dream for me.

Yeah, yeah. I've never had a girlfriend. Ever.

Same. Yeah.

One of the nicknames I have is Posh Bertie.

I'm a very well spoken individual.

I've not told anyone that I'm a virgin,

but I think people would guess.

"Yeah, he is a virgin to me."

Definitely feel one step behind everyone.

Yeah.

The group knows the weeks ahead won't be easy,

but they have a determination to change their lives.

Breathe into your own body.

This unique course has been created

by pioneering sex therapists Celeste and Danielle.

And let it out.

The ethos at the retreat is very supportive.

There's so much for them to learn.

We have new exercises, new experts and some special surprises.

Supported by a team of sex therapists from across the globe,

trained in a range of touch-based therapies...

Which finger would you like to enter me with?

...they'll address the group's anxieties...

She is terrified of lowering the mask.

...and push them to their limits.

Amazing.

Hidden away on the island

are dedicated therapy spaces

and private bedrooms where they'll begin to explore intimacy.

I'm hoping that everybody gets to find out

who they are as a sexual being,

regardless of being a virgin,

but it is going to be a huge challenge.

Each phase of the course

will challenge the group like never before...

...as they take their first steps towards...

...sexual connection.

And it all starts here...

Oh, my God. I'm so nervous. Yeah.

Hello! Welcome.

...by confronting one of the biggest barriers to intimacy...

Welcome to Virgin Island. We're so excited to have you here.

This phase is all about shame.

Shame really interrupts pleasure.

And so we are shame warriors.

We want to wipe away the shame that gets in your way.

If I could shake off the shame of being a virgin,

I'd feel a lot happier in myself.

I feel judged and it's not something that I talk about, really.

First, Celeste and Danielle will perform

an intimate demonstration designed

to reveal the group's level of awkwardness and shame.

So this demo is called Pillow Talk.

There's a bed. Oh, my gosh. Starting to feel a bit sick.

Yeah. Terrified.

We want to find out who is comfortable watching intimacy

and the different kinds of talk and touch that come with romance,

that come with passion,

that come with erotic energy.

Oh, my God, your eyes are so beautiful and sexy.

And the way you hold yourself turns me on so much.

I think I'm going to have to smell you.

Mm.

Oh.

I feel so lucky...

...to be able to touch you.

Mm.

Ah.

Any feelings watching it?

Quite weird having to watch it with other people.

It's a bit...

Yeah, I think I just feel like a little bit guilty.

I think, like, the idea of watching this

and then being asked to, like, do that,

that's like sinful.

Growing up as a Christian, you kind of feel you,

you should be one way.

Um, which is usually a very good way.

I have to be kind. I have to be soft,

but I have a sexual side to myself.

It kind of brings on these feelings of shame

and, and fear because you feel you're,

you're doing something sinful for wanting to experience pleasure.

And I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel right now.

We all have ideas and judgment and what we think we should be,

and all those interventions frees us up.

The best way to work your way out of shame

is to start to get a different reaction to shame.

To help the group do that...

You are going to get your scratch on.

No, I ain't doing that.

...Celeste and Danielle start with a series...

I am folding my arms.

This is just so awkward.

...of deliberately uncomfortable exercises.

Now, you're going to be a choo-choo train.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Oh, my gosh.

I see myself

as very socially awkward and sometimes weird.

Shake it, shake it, shake it.

I was diagnosed with autism.

I get nervous, I get stressed.

My eye contact goes all over the place.

Being a virgin, you just feel very isolated

and you feel very ashamed of yourself.

After the warm up, Celeste and Danielle raised

the stakes with a more challenging physical exercise.

So I want a brave volunteer.

Somatic therapy is not just focusing on the brain,

it's helping people in a more physical, experiential way.

I'll do it. Go on, go on, Alex.

For 28-year-old graduate Alex,

going first is a chance to face his fears.

Anxiety has played a massive part in my life.

Going to private school,

I put myself under a lot of pressure

that if I didn't perform my best,

I'd feel I'd let people down

and never really knew how bad it was

until I tried to have sex and was too nervous to do it.

Anything less than perfect is not good enough for me.

So I'm going to start by touching you for my pleasure.

And then you're going to touch me for your pleasure.

I'm starting by connecting with myself and feeling my body.

Mm.

Ooh.

Want to try? Yeah, sure.

Mm.

Was that OK? Really feeling it in your body,

that's what we're going for.

After Alex's attempt, others step up to give it a try.

Can you, like, do it a bit harder? Harder.

While some get to grips with the exercise...

How does that feel? It feels nice. Yeah?

...others can't even bear to watch.

Anyone else want to give it a try?

Counting one...

...counting two, counting three.

All right.

Oh, my God. That's hard.

Personally, that was a little bit creepy.

I need to be able to be confident in myself

to do the whole touching exercise.

I believe the cool kids call it 'rizz'.

I need to have good rizz.

At the start, like, when they was doing

all the "mm, mm, mm," you know?

Oh, that, yeah. I thought we'd have to do that to each other.

I was genuinely, I was petrified.

No. Not today. Not today!

That's intense for our first workshop.

To throw yourself in as much as possible

to experience all these cringe things

and embarrassing things was a struggle.

Joy, if you don't mind me asking, why was it so hard for you,

the whole touching thing?

Why did you get, like, a bit of a reaction to it?

You don't want to talk? Yeah. Not really.

No. No worries.

That workshop was such an emotionally intense experience.

To come on the island day one

and be expected to have some kind of erotic energy,

it's a really hard thing for me.

I didn't realise how uncomfortable that might make me feel.

Um, next time, I would walk out.

It's so beautiful. Yeah, it is, isn't it?

Oh! Come here. Come here. Lizzie!

Oh, my God. I've never seen a lizard before.

Ew! I don't like it.

Come out at night and nibble you.

I might have to tuck my trousers into my socks

in case it crawls up my leg.

And he's gone.

It's halfway through day one on Virgin Island.

I don't want to name exact figures,

but I think it was like one in eight people are virgins at 25.

So in a room this big, it's like one and a bit people.

Well, I think in this room, it'd be all 12.

Oh, yeah! On an island, on a virgin island.

THEY LAUGH

Every day, the experts gather to evaluate progress

and work out which therapies will be most effective.

It's very interesting to see how they reacted to different exercises.

Oh, they've got one-on-one sessions here, guys.

Oh, my God.

Afternoons are dedicated to individual therapy sessions

for those working through specific intimacy issues.

I don't know if I feel more calm or more stressed. Yeah.

Everybody has this fear, like, "Oh, my God,

"it's going to be so scary or uncomfortable,"

but you have to completely rewire your brain

in order for change to really happen.

Hi there. Hi.

How do you feel? Kind of on edge, I guess.

Mm-hm.

The more you can be honest

and drop into your truth without too much humour...

Yeah. I can't promise you that.

That is going to allow us to go somewhere.

Oh, I don't like this. I don't like crying.

I feel like I just can't relax.

I'm still really scared and I'm not sure why.

Out of all the reactions from this morning,

the experts were most struck by Joy's.

When Will and Marianne were touching,

I could see her... Some tears came out.

She really struggled with that.

Something came up for you today in the workshop.

Well, I feel like I have this weight on my shoulders

of like, I'm a Christian.

You have to be good. Yeah.

And experiencing sexual pleasure for, like, for fun. Mm-hm.

How is that good? Yeah.

But it isn't just feelings

of religious shame that are holding Joy back.

I know I have a sexual side to me. Mm-hm.

But I have vaginismus.

Vaginismus is a condition related to your pelvic floor

and also has a psychological fear component

around the idea of insertion or entry.

The moment I realised that I had vaginismus,

it was like this whole idea of

a sector of my life that could be just closed up.

I can't wear a tampon, I can't do a pap smear,

and I definitely can't have sex.

It's just, it's so hard.

At one point, like,

I literally thought that God cursed me with vaginismus.

I thought he, like, I thought he did it to me to stop me from having sex.

That's so intense.

And I feel like it's hard to, like, undo that, that feeling.

Maybe that first piece is about pleasure being good.

I'm really tight. I'm really, like, anxious.

I feel like I'm like, "No, it's not. No, it's not.

"No, it's not."

And that clench happens probably all the way into your vagina.

So I want you to feel all of the tightness and the clenchedness.

And then you can feel the contrast.

Let's feel the clench. And then, uh...

Like a little shakiness happened in your...

Did you feel it? Yeah. You know what that is?

What? It's like a little tiny release of trauma...

Oh, wow. ..from all the holding.

You deserve to have that circuit of pleasure.

Thank you.

Shame gets in the way of sexual intimacy,

and you cannot get to the other side of shame until you expose it.

I feel a bit like in shock. It was... It was quite intense.

I just hadn't even realised all the tension I'd been holding in my body.

It just made me realise, like,

how much I need this experience.

For a gold-star lesbian,

my mind is constantly in the gutter.

What's a gold-star lesbian?

Gold-star lesbian is someone who has never had sex with a man.

Ah, OK.

The thought of a penis going near me scares me

in a way that's like, "Ew, get away!"

Nothing to do with you guys. No, no. It's cool.

I get that. I'm like anything below their tummy,

I'm like, nope.

I mean, you probably all have amazing penises.

I'm not saying that... Oh, my gosh.

It doesn't matter, cos I come so quick, it don't matter.

As the group starts to bond...

Oh, this is really like giving hippy vibes, isn't it?

...Celeste and Danielle aim to push them further

in the next exercise...

Hello. Hello.

...to help release their shame once and for all.

All right. Well, as we said,

this part of the course is all about shame.

What we want you to do is write in your notebooks

all the negative things people say about you

and all the self-critical thoughts you keep repeating to yourself.

We really need to get them out

so that we can take the power away from them.

Be careful.

The group have been sent off in pairs to share their shame words...

It's difficult. Yeah, I'm not exactly an open book.

People see me as fat, ugly.

...and as they identify their insecurities...

I don't like how I'm not at all that good socially.

It's why I've never been on a date before, really.

...their barriers come down.

Ugly, unattractive to girls.

Haven't been able to get a date in years.

My anxiety,

particularly around intimacy and interacting with women.

I...worry that I'm just not good enough.

But 23-year-old Katie...

Bad things people are saying about me.

...is writing more than most.

I was once labelled the ugliest girl in school.

Oh, my God. A whale, fat/obese,

ugly, a liar, a monster, disappointment...

...and frigid, because I've never gotten with anyone before.

Yeah.

Oh, Katie...

I know how it feels to have something horrible said to me.

Sometimes I look in the mirror to make myself upset

because I need a good cry - and it works.

But I don't think there's ever been

a time where I truly have felt good in my looks...

...ever, no.

Are those things people have actually said about you?

To my face or online - where I've seen. Online?

Yeah, people that I know in person. Oh, my God.

Like, in real life. Have commented publicly?

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.

Figuring out the words, though, is only half the exercise.

How did you find that?

It was quite challenging. I was going to say the same.

Yeah. It was quite hard.

So, Joy, this one's for you. Thank you.

Now the experts want them to write their words down on a T-shirt

to confront and let go of their self-doubt.

I'm going to invite you to narrow down,

from all the things that you've written,

which ones hold the most emotion,

so that you can create a T-shirt that's a symbol of all of that.

Mm-hm.

I'm scared that I'm going to get upset.

Thinking back about all the memories and stuff from school,

and all the bad things that I got told

and I say to myself was quite difficult.

But I really do want to be able to get as much out of this as I can.

It's scary, though.

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Hiya, guys! How are we going?

Morning.

Oh, we've got raisins.

Don't tell me you're eating a lemon.

I like lemons. SHE GASPS

It's the morning on Virgin Island...

I'm really nervous for today.

...and the sessions are set to become even more revealing.

As we go through this phase,

I do feel quite a big shame over myself,

so I'm a little bit apprehensive.

I was so nervous in the first workshop.

My heart was going. I didn't realise how nervous I was.

Sex and intimacy are meant to be natural

and experienced by lots of people and enjoyed,

whereas me, I sort of feel scared of them.

Let's go. I never finish my food!

I have no idea how far I'm going to go with this.

You know, it's only going to get more intense from here.

Having faced many hard truths...

Hello!

...Celeste and Danielle's

next exercise will challenge the group even further.

Oh, dear. What is this? A bed? Oh, no.

...with some exposure therapy, Virgin Island-style.

Society gives these negative messages

to us about what it means to be a sexual being.

So it's really important to get comfortable with intimacy.

Today you're going to be exploring erotic life drawing. Oh, no.

We're going to invite our lovely models.

There they are. Here they are.

The only time I've seen a vagina or boobs is off, like,

Sticky Vicky, when I went to Benidorm.

That is probably the only time I've ever really seen it in real life.

I have seen some images online and I'm like,

"Oh, actually, penises are a bit ugly."

I know the different parts and the names of the female anatomy.

But do you know what?

I genuinely don't think I've seen one in person.

I'm the most white-meat virgin you could possibly meet.

Don't hide. Keep your eyes open and be curious.

Oh, my God. So many naked parts right now.

So, I don't want you to worry about showing off your artistic talent.

It's really about looking at a naked body

and letting yourself feel the sensuality of that.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

THEY CHUCKLE

Just draw.

I don't know where to start with this. Neither do I.

Oh, we got this.

We're expecting to see some discomfort, embarrassment.

To be exposed to naked bodies, we can really see the comfort level.

LAUGHTER

Stop making me laugh, Jason!

Embarrassing.

I can't tell what's what.

LAUGHTER

All I can see is vaginas and boobs.

Whilst the sight of naked bodies has everyone giggling awkwardly...

...Ellen is struggling the most.

Growing up, my parents would never talk about sex,

and at the time there wasn't the internet, as there is now.

I'm in my 30s, I am gay, and I've not had a relationship

and I've not had experience around sexual intimacy.

Sex - it's something that I feel anxious about.

No one is seeing mine because it is absolutely terrible.

You don't have to show me if you don't want to.

One-second sneak peek. Done.

Can I have a two-second sneak peek? No.

So we really want to thank our beautiful models here.

APPLAUSE

Any thoughts that you want to share?

I was instantly like, "Oh, my gosh.

"Oh, my gosh, I shouldn't be watching this."

I felt the discomfort of that. Yeah.

It felt like you were literally watching, like, a group porno.

I was like, "Oh, I want to look."

But I was like, "Oh, it feels wrong to look." Yeah!

The nudity felt a bit too soon for me.

Despite being the oldest of the group...

When you kiss someone,

do you do it with your eyes open... No! ..or your eyes closed?

Please don't be that person! LAUGHTER

...Ellen's lack of experience is clear to everyone.

She was having a hard time to look at you. Yeah.

I'm excited to have a session with her,

to introduce her to the first steps of intimacy.

With a storm approaching, Ellen's feeling a little flustered.

Hello! It's windy.

Ellen...

...you have a sexy smile. OK!

We had a tiny, tiny little exchange of erotic energy.

Yeah, OK. Yeah? Did you feel it? Um...

No, but I guess I don't know what that feeling is

because I've not experienced it before.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know what I love?

Awkward silences where you just look at each other.

OK, yeah.

A lot of times, that's what happens right before a kiss.

Yeah.

But I don't...

I don't want that to happen!

No, we're not doing that today.

We're just talking in a flirtatious way.

What do you think? Um...

...I'm thinking I'm fine as long as you're on that chair

and I'm on this chair.

I'm staying over here. Don't worry.

CELESTE LAUGHS

Thank you. Bye.

How was that, Ellen? Um, in my head, I was like,

"OK, I'm going to jump in."

And then, when I got in there, I was like...

All of a sudden, just, like, my body closed up.

I don't like the idea

of someone coming into my personal space.

That's why I'm here. Like, I've never been very good at it.

And I feel like a failure.

So, are you into females, then? Or both?

I am a straight, heterosexual male. Nice. You are...?

You're bisexual, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah.

Do you know what? It was so weird.

I had a dream last night of you guys.

Mainly Alex. Weird. LAUGHTER

I can't wait to tell Alex that! Hello!

Did you know Katie dreamt about you last night?

No, that's not... TEGAN LAUGHS

So, what happened in the dream, Kate?

She doesn't really know.

I don't remember at all.

Though Katie was dreaming of Alex, for him,

yesterday's workshop was a nightmare.

I demoed with him yesterday.

I felt he was really frozen.

He can be a little in his head.

So I'm curious, if we're going through exercises,

if he's just going to perform them

rather than actually experiencing sensation and emotions. Yeah.

What did it feel like when you, like, touched him?

Panicky. I don't know how calm it looked,

or how I looked, but, yeah, my heart was going,

I was shaking a bit.

So Danielle's decided to dig deeper...

Hello. Come on in. ...into what's holding him back.

I feel your heart beating all the way to here.

DANIELLE LAUGHS

Sex for me has always been quite a nervous thing.

I've always had anxiety. I've always had performance anxiety.

Sports, homework, whatever.

And so, the first time I tried to have sex,

I couldn't get an erection because I was just too nervous. Mm-hm.

Not being able to get an erection, it's constantly playing on my mind.

It feels embarrassing even to say because it's like,

"Oh, this is something that old people deal with."

But I just feel, like, defeated by it.

You spend a lot of time trying to control your body from your head.

I want to invite you to start to let your body control -

as opposed to the opposite. Yeah.

So, what I want us to do now is for you to touch me...

Mm-hm. ...and really let yourself enjoy.

And do what feels good? What feels good to you.

This time, Danielle wants to see

if Alex can fully immerse himself in his sensations.

Are you OK for me to start? Yes, please.

DANIELLE CHUCKLES

OK, I'm going to start with your arm.

DANIELLE EXHALES

Then moving down to your chest.

Mm.

Mm. Penny for your thoughts.

The main overriding thing is still

that worry of not getting an erection.

But this is like the building blocks.

So I really want us to have soft goals -

as opposed to hard goals. DANIELLE LAUGHS

No pun intended! Yeah.

Because your full body is like a big erection.

You know, like, your full body is... a pleasure tool.

It's not only your cock that's a pleasure tool. Do you get it?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

What did you do? Just mutual touching, really.

But I think I went into it thinking, "Oh, yeah, she'll cure me,

"and I won't feel anxious ever again around women."

But you're not going to get cured on the first session.

Yeah.

Oh, are you doing it like...? You do it like that?

Really? I thought it was like that.

Whilst the others start to embrace island life...

...Bertie is finding it harder to adjust.

OK? I'm a mixture of all nerves.

I don't like you sitting by yourself.

I'm OK.

I do feel like the weak link and the odd one out

because I'm not very sociable.

I'm still cautious. I'm still nervous.

Are you OK, Bertie? I'm good. You all right? I'm all right, yeah.

Just going to go brush my gums and do a dance.

But what on earth am I going to be like in the days to come,

when it gets more challenging and more intense?

This whole island is...

I-I-It's not just Virgin Island, it's Unpredictability Island.

Do you know what most women say

is the length they want to have sex for?

4.5 minutes. Four and a half? Yeah. No!

They WANT to have sex? No, surely not!

Yeah. Yeah, they want sex -

the actual P in V - to be 4.5 minutes.

Really? What's "P in V"? Penis in vagina.

Oh. That's good to know! WILL CHUCKLES

It's mid-afternoon on Virgin Island.

SING-SONGY: Bertie!

How are you? Are you all right?

I don't know. When everyone's all together,

it just gets a bit awkward for me, you know?

I like my... Oh, my God, I nearly fell off!

I like my...

My space a bit more.

Just going to just take it easy for a bit, yeah?

OK, I'll see you soon. No worries.

In terms of sex, I've got no clue,

which is pretty embarrassing coming from someone who's 24 years old.

But I don't want to be alone my whole life.

I just want to be able to live normally...

...and just find more confidence in myself.

Hi.

Celeste aims to start Bertie's route

to intimacy by helping him with connection.

Hello. Oh, hello!

How do you feel about eye contact?

A-ha! I knew that was going to come up.

I am terrible at it. Yeah.

My eye contact goes all over the place,

no matter who I'm talking to.

Well, I do feel like you...

You think a lot.

I am an overthinker.

So I want too slow it down a little bit and,

like, let your brain relax a moment,

and then see what it's like to come back more deliberately

and connect and look at me.

This is a bit awkward, isn't it? Intimacy is super awkward.

I know. That's not going to go away. Yeah.

So let's just be awkward together.

It's hard to take it seriously. It is.

And you don't have to take it so seriously.

You can think we're just having fun together.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah!

You've got some good sexy eye contact.

You might not know it.

And now you're looking at me so much more.

I feel connected to you.

After Bertie perfects the sexy eyes...

Great. So, if you want to scooch over a little bit. Yeah.

...Celeste decides to increase the intimacy.

What if I, like, came in right there for a second?

I mean, that was a bit weird, but OK.

Yeah?

Oh, that's so nice.

You just perfectly, like, invited me and cuddled me.

Wow.

Mm.

I really like it when you kind of rest your cheek

against my forehead.

Yeah, you're very nat... It feels natural.

It feels natural - exactly.

That feels good.

It's not long before Celeste's technique boosts Bertie's confidence.

I was thinking of giving you a little kiss on the forehead.

I felt that. I love that.

What about...

Can I... Go on. Yeah?

Mm.

Have I got a lipstick stain on it? Now you have a kiss. Excellent.

You were hoping for a kiss. CELESTE LAUGHS

Thank you very much.

Love you! Bye! OK, bye!

So, Celeste was... She was brilliant.

And this has happened.

And I feel a lot more relieved

and a lot more at ease with everything.

That was a bit of a confidence boost for me.

Hi, Bertie. Hello! Are you OK?

If you want to know how it went,

what do you think? Let's go! Yay!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Bertie is not going to wash his cheek.

LAUGHTER

As the sun sets on the retreat,

the first phase of the course draws to a close.

The first phase of the course has been really intense.

Getting rid of shame is foundational to being able

to have a pleasurable sex life,

but the way that they have taken it on, it's unprecedented.

They all have challenges. They all have traumas.

But every individual is beautiful and unique,

and the sky is the limit in terms of what's possible here.

To move forward, the group must let go of their negative emotions.

Oh, my gosh, there's a fire!

Hello, everyone! Hello!

So the experts have arranged a ceremonial bonfire

to burn away their lifetime of shame.

We've asked you to face your shame directly.

You have talked about it, put it on your T-shirts,

and now it's time to let it go.

The hope is this ritual marks a turning point

and the start of the rest of their lives.

So, for me, shame is feeling ugly.

Um...

Sorry.

Um, yeah, I felt ugly, like, most of my life.

And I feel ashamed of myself for, you know, putting on weight.

So brave.

APPLAUSE Are you ready to let it go?

- Yeah, it's going in the fire. - Yes! ELLEN CHUCKLES

Let it go, let it go, let it go!

THEY ALL CHEER

Physical appearance is a common theme.

I look at everyone else around me

and I think they're far more attractive.

Never getting matched on dating apps.

And it's...

It makes me feel really crap about myself.

Fat and ugly, unlovable, and I take up too much room -

quite literally.

I actually got voted ugliest girl in the whole school.

Oh, my God! And depending on the people,

I could be too loud or too quiet, so...

Let it go, let it go, let it go!

Woo! APPLAUSE

NGE is "not good enough".

I always feel like I'm falling short of a lot of things.

Deep-rooted issues around self-worth are also shared across the group.

I feel as though, like, I might be perceived as childish

and that I'm a bit unambitious.

I've been told I'm too loud, I'm too much for some people.

And then that kind of leads on to the second point,

which is that I'm unlikeable and unlovable.

I've not had an adult relationship at all.

I feel terribly unwanted - I seriously do.

Are you ready to let it go? Yeah.

Let it go, let it go, let it go!

Let it go, let it go, let it go!

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

JOY SOBS SOFTLY

It's OK to cry.

I think I've been carrying with me some feelings

about myself since I was about 12.

And I think having these horrible thoughts

that I'm a horrible person

and that people don't like me, and that I'm really dirty and sinful.

JOY SOBS

Let it go, let it go, let it go!

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

Writing it down on the T-shirt was one thing,

but to actually speak it out was liberating.

Yeah.

I found it really difficult to throw my top in the fire.

I'm just hoping I can become more at one with myself.

Shame is something that I specifically struggle with a lot.

I feel a lot lighter.

All of my worst things I think about myself are finally, like, out there,

and I burned them. JOY CHUCKLES

Next time...

Your dick is connected to my pussy. Oh, God!

...it's the turn-on phase,

where the group discover their animal instincts.

There's another animal next to you.

Oh, no!

Emotions are laid bare...

Quite sad that I'm still stuck with that feeling.

MARIANNE SNIFFS

MARIANNE SIGHS

...and for some, things are on the up.

It felt really nice when you were brushing past my genitals.

Would you like me to do that? Yeah, yeah.