Original subtitles

Tonight on Acapulco Heat.

Look, Vinnie, you are amazing.

Five minutes with the man, I had his entire menu.

Three million in negotiable bonds. Ooh, that is excellent work.

This is his orange aura.

The minute I saw it, I realized we had a prime taxi.

I think it would have given you the combination to the safety you asked for.

Bankers with orange auras are too gullible to handle other people's

The man's a financial hazard.

I think we should celebrate.

Champagne and lunch on the little sister.

Great. Let's go.

In fact...

We

bust our stones every month to pay the lease on Joanna's equipment and we're

still out on our kisses unless we come up with five or six thousand?

Well, we have a choice. We can decide whether to eat or not.

And I thought we used to have headaches on the old heat team.

Well, the coalition always paid, but they also checked our expense receipts.

My uncles also were tight, but online we need a client fast.

Like yesterday.

Only yesterday we were only broke.

You waiting for the hotel shuttle?

Yes, I am. Well, so am I.

I mean, I'm on my way to Marriott Hotel. I was wondering if you'd like a lift.

Oh, I would love one. You are so sweet.

Thank you.

I'm late for a show.

Is that a show?

Yes, I'm a lingerie model.

Oh.

Don't worry, it's just a little temperamental, but we'll start right up.

I have enough for two beers.

Champagne, no.

Beer, me.

You are so fickle.

That's you.

I don't know what we're going to do.

We're missing our ferocious animal print.

Our red hot chili pepper broth.

Not to mention our happy birthday musical songs.

God knows where the hell they are.

And my girls.

Where are all my girls? I can't open a show with just two girls.

What? You think this is PG rated?

Oh, Joanna's alone.

I better go give her a hand. I'll be right back.

Hurry before she gives away the store.

Sorry. Sure.

Hey.

That's my purse.

Yeah. I know it's not really my color, but I'd like to have it back.

It, uh, might work.

What are we going to do? I mean, we have absolutely no money.

Hold on before I've got an idea.

What is she getting us into?

What worries me is he understands her.

Half his stuff was sent to Puerto Rico by himself.

Tonight is Carlos of Cancun's lingerie and bikini show, courtesy of Acapulco

Heat.

Well,

this ought to keep the wolves from our door.

At least for a while.

Oh, thank God.

I don't know how to thank you.

You don't have to, but think about it anyhow.

I hope you wouldn't be offended if I offered you some kind of a reward.

don't. You're ruining my oath of poverty.

No, of course not.

I'm Lavinia Oman.

Tommy. Tommy Chase.

Tommy. I really shouldn't ask you this. You've been so kind already.

I wonder if you might give me a ride to a place called Acapulco Beach Fashions.

Do you know it?

You know it?

That's where I'm at.

It's quite a coincidence.

Coincidence?

No, it's fate.

And my ESP. I have those powers.

Oh, great.

Because I'm having a little trouble with my truck starting.

Oh, I'm sure it will now.

You wouldn't dare not start.

Great animal print. That's what I need. Thank you. Give it to Luke.

Oh, yeah. Please give it to him. The red. All red coats. Thank you.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Everything.

Lavinia Harmon needs our help. Oman.

O -H -M -A -N.

The name was given to me by my spirit advisor.

But please call me Lavinia.

I can't tell you how kind and gallant this man has been.

Oh, we know.

Tommy's very, um, gallant.

How can we help you, Lavinia? I want you to find my brother, Sam Beecher.

He's missing.

Missing? Oh, you mean like the kids on the milk carton?

He was kidnapped six months ago. Six months ago?

Wasn't there any ransom demands?

Unfortunately, there wasn't.

I'm sorry, but he may not be alive. He's alive, all right.

I'm absolutely positive of that.

I saw him.

Where?

Here, in Puerto Vallarta.

He's got it.

I saw him quite clearly.

I saw palm trees, beaches. I saw this boutique, Acapulco Heat Fashion.

And I saw coconuts.

Yeah, well, coconuts we got. I had a vision, overpowering and crystal

clear. You're psychic?

She's a psychic.

I am blessed with certain powers.

I must tell you, at the moment I am experiencing the most incredible

The auras in this boutique are awesome.

Absolutely awesome.

We are a little overbooked at the moment.

I am prepared to be generous.

How generous?

$10 ,000.

Hey, uh...

Could you just excuse us for a minute, please?

She's out of her treehouse.

So she has a leaky pail. So what?

Yeah, but she's talking about, like, a vision.

Well, how do you know it's not accurate?

Possibly you could tell us more about where you saw your brother.

Yes, I can.

It was near a church.

There. You see?

We have lots of churches in Puerto Vallarta.

Now, what's it gonna do with my checkbook?

Oh, I hope a thousand in cash and a check for 9 ,000 will be acceptable.

Oh, Tommy, I wouldn't drive your truck today if I were you.

You're going to have an accident.

Yeah.

When do you get your truck back?

I don't.

I had to junk it.

How do you tell a truck running into a fruit stand that made out of bamboo and

palm leaves?

That's a big deal. I drive this sensible truck.

What did you find out?

Well, there's no question Sam was kidnapped.

There were scores of witnesses.

Florida State Police is sending us a copy of his file.

Yeah, I checked the bank account and his credit card, and there was no

withdrawals or deposits in the past six months.

Yeah, that ties in with what the Florida police told me.

They're pretty sure Sam is dead.

Why would the kidnappers kill him?

It's not sensible.

There is no payoff.

Well, the police theory is that they didn't intend to kill him, that maybe he

got killed trying to get away, or maybe he died of a heart attack.

That would explain why there's no ransom demand.

The only proof that we have that Sam is still alive is Blavini's, how would you

say, vision?

How's that for proof, huh? She was right about the accident, and a bunch of made

-up pictures of what Sam might look like.

Well, we might get lucky.

I got to go work the lingerie show, so why don't you guys canvass the town?

Uh, no, no, no. I got roped into helping with the show, too.

I'm so sorry for you.

Try not to strain an eyeball.

Hey, hi.

You remember me? Tommy, I was going to give you a ride today.

Oh, yes, I remember you.

Hey, listen, you were so sweet.

Oh, by the way, how's your truck?

I hope it healed.

Uh, it died.

Buried it.

But say, listen, maybe after the show we could wake it, you know? Prayer, tear

or two.

I'd love to.

Yeah?

Yeah? Great.

Great. Well, I'll tell you what. There's a bar downtown called No Name. It's at

4 o 'clock.

Okay. I'll see you then.

All right. Great.

Any luck?

No, how about you?

Me neither.

I don't think we're using the right picture.

Lavinia said they look just like him.

You know, when my sister was acting, she used to have these composite pictures.

Your sister was an actress?

Yeah, but she only did it for like just a little while. Why, has she done

something I would have seen?

Did you see Forrest Gump?

She was in Forrest Gump? That's my favorite movie.

Okay, you know when he's getting the Medal of Honor, and she comes running

across the water yelling, Forrest!

Forrest! Of course, she was at the Washington Monument.

Yeah. Well, she was in the crowd, but you could see her really clear. She was

yelling, jumping up and down. She was chewing gum.

I'll show you sometime.

Anyway, she would have these pictures that would have four shots on them, and

she would look completely different in each one.

Wildly enticing gargantuan eyes.

And here we go.

A luscious face, a blackened -eyed face.

Very sexy and sensuous.

God above.

Thank you.

Forgive me, Father.

You're going to need this.

Lavinia. She's here.

She's hired some people to find you.

They call themselves Acapulco.

They any good?

They're very good.

They're also very broke.

I think it's time we moved to higher ground.

The apartment?

Now, my child, what was it you said a moment ago?

Something about sinning, I believe?

Mm -hmm.

Tommy!

Tommy!

Tommy!

I've seen this guy before.

I'm telling you, this is him. This is the priest that ruined my truck.

Lavinia said that she saw her brother by a church.

Monsieur de Raphael, have you seen this priest?

Uh...

Maybe he had an urgent call from the bishop.

There's no question about it. That is Sam.

I don't understand.

If Mr. Beecher was kidnapped, why did he run away?

What do you mean if he was kidnapped?

She means, why doesn't he act like a kidnapped victim?

Masquerading as a priest.

Running people off the road.

And what is the priest doing driving a convertible?

He wasn't driving.

Yeah, he wasn't.

So, who was that spicy blonde behind the wheel, huh? Mother Teresa?

A spicy blonde nun?

This kidnapping was a hope.

A hope?

Just before he was abducted, you and Sam withdrew $3 million in negotiable bonds

from an orphaned account.

A perfectly legal transaction.

Wait, what? What's an orphaned account?

Abandoned accounts without known heir's birth date.

What happened to the bonds?

I suppose the kidnappers have.

Well, how about this scenario?

Sam fakes his own kidnapping so he could acquire the bonds for himself.

That's ridiculous. I was there.

He was kidnapped right in front of my eyes.

Maybe he doesn't know what he's doing or who he is. He could be suffering from

amnesia. He could be delusional.

I'd buy delusional. As long as it's in the family.

Look, you show up with all this cheeky stuff about psychic visions and past

lives.

Purple orange. Orange.

Orange. Tastes like juice. Who cares?

The point is, what are we supposed to think?

I don't care what you think.

I love my brother, and I know he's in some kind of trouble.

Now, I paid you good money to find him, and I expect you to do your job.

She's right.

He could have been hit on the head and has absolutely no idea who he is.

All right, all right. Maybe I was a little hard on her. We always look at

worst side of things.

I'm always distressing people. Me too.

Maybe she really was a nun who rented a convertible.

They had to run that far.

Joanna, can you access the rental agent?

Wait. Go backward.

That's it.

A Chrysler convertible rented to Villa del Mundo Limited.

And that's today's date.

Villa of the world.

That's an agency that rent villas, isn't it?

The rents bill is, yeah.

Uh, Joanna?

I'm on it. Well, you add it. Uh, rent us a car.

Like we can afford it.

Tommy! We found him.

Yeah? Found who? Sam.

We traced him to a villa about an hour's drive from here.

Well, come on. We need you.

Oh.

I can't leave.

I got a meeting.

Well, it's a date, but... You get a couple of miles from Miss Sugarloaf, and

think you're going to get lucky?

Hey, the look she's been giving me, she's ready.

Believe me, I know women.

What you know about women wouldn't stop an olive.

But hey, you want to stay here and play kissy face with Miss June, I... June?

April? Well, whatever her name is, you go right ahead.

We'll just have to give Lavinia back her $10 ,000.

Hey.

Tell April I have an emergency, okay?

Why refuse me?

I, uh...

Look, just do what you can to make her happy. You know what I mean?

Hey, hey.

Tell her I called her.

You know how this turns me on.

Oh, you're such a strumpet.

Lucky you.

You're really amazing.

Converting $3 million into $20 million in six months?

It's not a done deal yet.

Not until the exchange is made.

Are you worried about the Feds or Lavinia? The Feds?

I haven't had an original thought since they were toilet trained.

No, it's my darling sister.

We're ready for her.

Maybe.

But never take Lavinia for granted.

There isn't a grifter operating today that can touch her.

Except you.

Of course.

I taught her everything she knows.

But not everything you know.

Let's get rid of this.

Now I've got my man back.

Oh, yeah?

And what do you intend to do with him?

Thank you.

Hello, Z.

What'd she say?

She said, let's go.

Let me come with you.

Don't worry. We'll bring your brother home safe.

They found

him.

Oh, and double the number. We're going to need all the help we can get.

Ramiro, how would you like to make $500?

All you have to do is make a phone call.

When and where is written in here.

We should be about a half a mile from Villa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What is this, a roadblock?

All right, all right, all right.

That's so cool.

I think this is the car thing.

Right on time.

Easy, tough guy. What?

What is going on here?

Captain? What do you want? Over here.

I found something.

What is it? You okay?

You people are in big trouble.

We've been sandbagged. You're going to have to come with us.

Okay,

it's pop quiz time.

I want to know who set us up.

My money's on Lavinia. But why?

Who else could it be?

What about her brother?

He saw us at the church. He knew we were after him. Well, we could be a case of

bad timing.

Showing up when he's getting ready to cash in the bonds. If we're locked up,

we're no threat.

We've got to figure out a way out.

I don't like the way Godzilla was looking at me.

Did you see that man's arms?

They look like fence posts.

Forget his arms. That's what you've got to worry about.

Well, whatever, you guys. We can figure out a return visit. That's for sure.

Get him over here.

Get him over here. Come on.

Get his feet.

This

should

cover their bail.

So, monsieur, you're responsible for this? I'm sorry. I apologize for any

inconveniences that you've suffered.

Well, my apologies for not accepting your apologies, mister.

Why'd you set us up? I had to talk to you. I need to hire your services.

For what?

To protect me from my sister Lavinia.

I want to be sure to get this clear.

You and your fiancée... Mona.

You and Mona never intended to keep the bonds.

Absolutely not.

You expect us to believe that?

Look, for the last ten years, you and your wacko sister have been conning

out of their money.

You're a thief.

We prefer the term grifter.

Sam has turned over a new leaf.

His entire life is now devoted to his charity work.

Charity work?

When Mona and I met, she pointed out the error of my ways, the sinful life I was

leading.

She turned my life completely around, and I owe her a great deal.

She's a saint, isn't she?

Lavinia has this channeling routine she uses. I mean, you should see her

performance. It's absolutely tour de force.

Hey, that's such a strong word.

She has laser -sharp instincts.

Let me give you an example. She once put Mr. Maiselson, the bank manager, in

touch with his dearly departed mother. It was simply a matter of a few

and she had a coded password to an account.

What is the point of stealing the bonds if you're just going to return them?

I use the bonds to collateralize on certain stock options.

The stocks split several times.

Sam made a huge profit.

Which I set up in a trust fund for an international food cooperative to feed

poor. I negotiated an agreement with the bank that we would return the bonds in

exchange for a dismissal of all the criminal charges against Sam.

Mona can be very persuasive.

What about Lavinia? Ah, there's the rub. See, I knew that she would never agree

to return the bonds.

So I arranged my abduction.

So your sister couldn't get her hands on them.

Exactly. I...

I sent her a finder's fee, $150 ,000. I should have known that that would never

have satisfied her.

That's how she found us.

We crisscrossed wire transfers through a dozen different banks around the world.

Lavinia is very resourceful, and she traced the transfer here to its origin.

Well, what is it you want from us?

A bank courier is arriving today with a legal release from prosecution.

We'd like you to supervise the exchange.

What do you think, guys?

You got a problem with that?

Isn't it a conflict of interest?

How could it be?

We did exactly what Madam Dipstick wanted us to do.

Tommy's right.

Lavinia hired us to find Sam. We did that.

Look, Lavinia's dirty.

We helped Sam. The money goes back to where it belongs.

Right thing to do.

Yeah.

She's not in the hotel.

And no one's seen her for hours.

That's not a good sign.

Did you get us a call?

Huh?

What do you think?

Nice, huh?

What is it?

My truck.

All these little paints.

Your feet covered?

Yeah.

Toilet seat covered.

The bank tour is meeting us at the wharf.

Tommy, China will go with you. Sam and Mona with us.

All right.

Oh, and try to keep up.

You've earned your money.

They're coming.

Keep on your toes. They're going to expect trouble.

They're here.

Get out, get out, get out.

Yes Okay, your bank story is waiting for us in the port side

Well,

where is he?

Right there

Mr. Beecher, I'm pleased to see you made it safe and sound.

Here are your bonds, and they are safe and sound.

And your affidavit, notarized and official.

Congratulations.

Boy, you know women.

Well, I hope they're not too hard on Lavinia. After all, she did help us.

She was able to make a deal on the local charges.

She's on her way back to Florida.

Yeah, we got a great thank you note for the donation.

Homer's Children of Rio will be very grateful.

I hope we didn't make a mistake donating most of our fee to Sam's Food Parity.

Oh, it's no big deal. We slapped the $10 ,000 Lavinia gave us.

Uh, I didn't let the check bounce.

It went through four banks before it made it.

It was good. The check was good.

We'll still have the cash to send us.

Yeah, 1 ,000 bucks.

Green. Uh, you'd better give it to me, or I'll put it at the bank.

It's just paper.

We've been scammed.

I can't believe this. We've been scammed.