Original subtitles

Oh, very good!

Is it much longer? I have plans. Well, you're going to be late, aren't you?

Don't stop recording, it's a historic moment.

- Fishmonger, what are you doing? - It's not the time to be making noise, damn it!

Neighbors, both outside and inside, like an all-powerful president

I have decided to be magnanimous and tear down...

the wall of discord that separates us.

You want to mooch off the patio now that it's nice.

Damned old woman, I'm doing it for the sake of healthy coexistence!

- Ma'am, the patio belongs to everyone! - Hello, my love.

- Zurrasardinas, you are bad and a whore.

I also sell pieces of the wall of shame

to keep as a souvenir: simple rubble, five euros;

complete brick, 20.

Can't you tear that down during the day? You've woken the child up.

During the day the Moor cannot, because he is a gardener in four chalets.

Damn, the point is to complain! Does that man have a work permit?

Pebble, you've scared it away! I'll stop recording, right?

Yes, man. You keep talking, I'll record.

You're crazy. Three days without Wi-Fi!

Damn!

- You sons of bitches, stop the fucking noise or I'll come down and break balls!

Hey! Oh, you again.

Look, sir, it's not the time to be doing construction work, is it?

We just measured 80 decibels. My son, who is a sleepwalker.

Toñín, stop, stop making noise, you're bothering people.

My son... Madam Officer,

This man is insane. He's been making our lives a living hell.

since we divided the communities. But if I do it for you,

to get along. The fine for doing construction work

Outside of hours it's 3000 euros, but we'll let you have it

in a minor infraction, 750. How much?

- Pay up! Pay up! - Do you want to sign the complaint?

I won't sign a damn thing, you puppet of the powerful!

The festivities are off to a good start.

No, no, don't leave the wall like that, okay?

- You'll finish throwing it away tomorrow! - Jacinta!

He has already gone to bingo.

I could stay like this for the rest of my life.

Well, I have to go to work, because now I'm a "businessman".

We should leave this community, go far away...

Traveling? Let's live!

When I get divorced, we're getting a little house in the countryside.

In the countryside... No, no, no, no, on the beach!

I will have half the value of my house,

plus what you get when you sell this apartment.

My little park? Wait, wait...

Wait, this is going very fast.

In the letter you told me that it hurt you every second you spent without me.

Yes, yes, yes. I have to confess something to you.

I didn't write it, Greit. What do you mean, no?

Who wrote it? Huh? Well... this GTP chat,

Since I don't have a brain, I have to rely on artificial intelligence.

Thank goodness they invented it.

That's intense. Even a soulless robot.

has managed to capture the magic of our culture.

Yeah, it's strong. Damn!

Esteban is about to get up! Pull, lest he worry.

I have to increase his dose, his metabolism

He's getting used to it. There's no doubt about it.

(Radio)

What's going on? Can't I even have my hot chocolate in peace?

It's urgent, Mr. President.

Unauthorized modification of common elements.

But what are you doing here? It's because of you:

so that you don't have to mix with the riffraff outside.

- Better to keep them separate. - Criticism is welcome.

I think it looks really ugly, like something from a municipal dog pound.

- They're not allowed. And what if clothes fall into the yard?

We will set up a market on the first Saturday of every month.

Oh, hi Fina. Here, your new key.

- Fishmonger, take note, this is a female president.

Damned old woman, what a face she's getting, like cancer.

I don't see her needing palliative care at all. You wish.

Disgusting!

And you're already taking this down! You can't stop us from passing.

I don't do it.

The membership fee for the chill-out area is 20 euros per month.

Tooth puller, I'm starting to feel disgusted by you.

Also.

Let's see how his subjects take the "gate of shame" thing.

Why are you addressing me formally? It makes me feel older.

I don't know, I've felt like doing it ever since you became president.

And I'm the goalkeeper. They're automatic formalities.

Go on, put the buckets away. You talk too much.

One more thing. I miss a bit of a Christmas atmosphere here.

And what are you telling me for? I don't know, tinsel, a little tree,

A nativity scene... The neighbors like those things.

Christmas has a certain something that tames the masses.

And so his popularity rating, which is a bit lackluster, rises.

I'm coming up with a brilliant plan.

Let's give the nativity scene a Christmas touch.

That's what I said. Here, you're going to the Chinese place.

And you buy me some trinkets. Ten euros?

You're giving me the runaround. He doesn't even loosen his fist at Christmas.

(Radio Lottery)

They've already given the number.

What number did they say? Did you hear it?

- Lola, my daughter... - Dad, no!

- No what? I haven't said a word. - No to whatever you're going to ask me.

- I'm not going to ask you for anything, you dirty-minded person.

It's asking you what we do at Christmas.

- I'm going to the Seychelles to sunbathe,

to get a massage while I watch the bats go by

- Because they pamper me a lot. - Great plan.

I find it colder and snowier at this time of year.

But the beach is my natural element.

Dad, I'm going alone.

- Aren't you going to spend the holidays with your family?

- How sad. - Very sad. Goodbye.

- Hey, where's Ursulita? I haven't seen her in ages.

- Ursulita prefers to be with her father and Martina.

- Aren't you ashamed that they're stealing your daughter's affection?

- A lot, that's why I'm going to paradise, to cheer myself up.

But...

And who am I having dinner with?

He wants to leave you, so I can sell my children's play park.

And go live on the beach. Oh, and increase your dose.

of whatever he's giving you to get high.

- Damn it! - Amador, are you declaring VAT?

From your company? Huh?

Social Security contributions for your employees?

Esteban, I've already told you that you're going too fast.

But it's your fault, for writing such nice things to him.

- Dad, you too... - That's what came out.

Well, look, I'm going to tell her to go to hell.

I tell him: "It's not me, it's you."

No, it was the other way around. "It's you, not me."

Holy shit, what was that again? I don't understand what he saw.

My mother in you. Watch out, be careful.

- That I'm a "heartbreaker." - Don't leave her, poor thing.

- She has very low self-esteem. - No, and she has some low moods.

- Because then nobody can stand her. - You have to disappoint her.

- You're not letting her down. - That's right, let her leave you.

You be yourself. But I'm always myself.

Who am I going to be? Have you submitted the form?

of model 111, 303...? Yes, Esteban, I defrauded her.

And stop messing with me already!

Hello, hello! What a time, huh?

Serious foul! Amateur...

- I resign. - What? No. No, no, no!

Are you bluffing already? What's up, have you won the lottery?

Well, it hasn't even come out yet. (THEY LAUGH)

- I don't need to work anymore, I'm married to a millionaire.

But if Agus is a cheapskate, he won't give you a penny.

Oh no. Anyway, speaking of something else.

What are we going to do on Christmas Eve? I don't understand the plural.

We'll have to have dinner as a family. Amador, what family?

(Mobile)

Damn, well you, me, the little ones... Right?

Ah, yes, yes, yes, of course. Today.

(NODS) I'll give you the address now.

Oh, I have a potential buyer for my house!

Hey Amador, I'm leaving, I'm outta here.

I can finally lose sight of you! Finally!

Oh! (LAUGH)

What a ghost...

But then he misses me terribly.

Look... Serious foul!

How are you doing tonight for our first date?

- Huh? - I want to take you out to dinner

and showing off your girlfriend in public.

- Take me out to dinner? What am I, the dog?

Go on, start again.

Darling, my love...

Do you want us to go out together, as equals?

to dinner, and that we split the bill?

- Does that mean you've already chosen? - Yes, I've chosen not to choose.

I want you to be my girlfriend and Menchu ​​my mother.

- That option doesn't exist. - I love you both.

- In a different way, of course. - Oscar, think about that.

- that you get adopted at 50. - 46.

- I don't care. It's something to look into, you know?

- But, come on, what do you want, for us to run away like this?

- Like crazy, like Thelma and Louise? - It sounds really silly when you put it that way.

Besides, we haven't even had sex.

Oh!

That's great, isn't it?

Son, what a surprise! I thought you were in China!

- Don't you have anything to say to me? - Me? About what?

Mom, I'll give you one chance to explain. Just one!

- I don't know what happened to your girlfriend,

- But I swear it wasn't me. - Not my girlfriend, Dad!

He called me! Do you know what that is?

that the phone suddenly rings and it's your father,

who is supposed to have been dead for 30 years?

- Oh, that! - "Oh, that"?

You had him locked up, Mom! In a dungeon!

And you told me he died of a heart attack!

I'll explain it to you.

He asked me for a divorce, the son of a bitch.

I did it for you, to spare you the trauma of a broken family.

- Ah, much better the trauma of becoming an orphan.

- Hey, thanks to me, you've idealized him.

- I've given you a hero. - Mom, you know that's what this is for.

- There's treatment, right? - Whatever you think is best.

- If going to a psychologist helps you... - Treatment for you, for God's sake!

"You look terrible!" "I think you're exaggerating a bit."

Look, don't even talk to me!

I never want to see you again in my life!

Wait, Diego!

He was very happy in the cellar.

He would get so happy when I brought him food...

You're crazy!

This presidency is a shit, I should pay myself a salary.

- Honey, this is so bland. - Well, add some salt.

- If you did it. - No, I mean the house.

Christmas arrived at El Corte Inglés more than a month ago

And here we have neither a tree, nor lights, nor a nativity scene...

- Martin, I've had four root canals and two implants.

What percentage of my brain do you think is thinking?

- At Christmas? - Well, very bad, very bad, darling.

These are very important dates. We have to work harder, for the girl.

- Lucia? She won't remember anything, she's very young.

- Yes, he does remember, yes, he has emotional memory.

Personality is formed between the ages of 0 and 3.

- and a lot of essential memories. - Well, I don't remember anything.

- But your subconscious does. All your traumas come from there.

- What traumas? - Uh...

Honey, a little bit of Christmas spirit.

- Because of her. - What a stress, damn parties!

¡Cris!

- You want Christmas? I'll give you Christmas.

Hey, hey! Oh, darling...

- (BABY CRIES) - Oh, of course!

Mom's a bit of a Grinch.

- Bruno, I'm only going away for three days. - Yes, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Dates to be in the company of your loved ones.

- I emphasize "in company". - That's why I'm going to see my mother.

- I didn't say you couldn't come. - You didn't say I could either.

- I'll tell you now. Come on. - Yes, of course,

three hours before your plane leaves.

I'm not keen on getting into a coffin with wings either.

And even less so if I see that you're not excited about it at all.

- Oh, darling, I think it's a bit too soon.

- And what about living together? I'm lost with your timeline.

- To lead a free and authentic life, you have to free yourself

of the chains, of expectations and dependence.

- Yeah... But that's the advantage of having a girlfriend

- You don't spend these holidays alone. - Don't be childish.

These are days like any other.

You're right.

It's okay to be alone at Christmas.

Anyway, I'm used to it by now.

- Remember: solitude is an opportunity.

Be patient, become aware of yourself.

- Sit down. - Thank you.

Free psychoanalysis.

(Radio Lottery)

Oh! Nothing, not even a refund.

Unlucky in gambling and in love.

- If I hadn't bought the lottery, I would have won an immediate prize.

- 200 euros. - Logi, my family has been playing

This number has been in use for over 300 years. It's tradition.

- And you've never played? Change your number.

- Did you know that Félix Coronado de Gordón y Zabalburu,

Count of Yecla, my great love of youth,

Was he a boy at San Ildefonso? He sang 1000 pesetas to my father

and donated them to charity, of course.

Then he brought him home for dinner and that's where we met.

- And that's when the wardrobe incident happened. - How do you know about the wardrobe incident?

Anise, which loosens the tongue.

What beautiful memories.

Christmas brings a deep sadness to the surface in my heart.

- For those who are no longer with us. - That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

- I won't be there either. - Are you abandoning me?

- You can come with me to the village to spend the holidays.

- Where to, to Villarrubias de la Depresión?

- You fair-haired girls of the Jurisdiction! - What for, to eat shortbread cookies?

And dry ribs with your family's hicks?

- That's the plan. - You're already cancelling the ticket.

I haven't given you a vacation. You have to request that in advance.

- Well, fire me if you want. Pay me the 40 years you owe me.

- And such good friends. - You're such a penny-pincher.

But look, I'll allow it, because I understand too.

that you have your emotional needs,

- However flat you may be. - You are all heart.

I'm going to pack my suitcase.

- Thank you very much, eh? The house is very nice.

- And very bright. - You're going to be very happy here.

My best memories are from sharing this apartment

- With my best friend. - Oh, really?

- We're a couple. - Sorry.

- Since it has two bedrooms... - For the baby, we're pregnant.

- It's also a great apartment for a family.

- We have something to tell you. - Don't be long, okay?

Apartments in the city center... are selling fast!

Oh, how I long to escape to a little villa in Caños de Meca!

- Oh, I'm going to spend New Year's Eve in the Seychelles, look!

- Ah! Auntie, life is finally giving us what we deserve.

(Timbre)

Damn, it certainly took a while.

- Hello, my love. - Agustín, uh...

- Where should we go on our honeymoon? We could go to Tunisia,

to see the sets of "Star Wars", where Luke Skywalker was born.

Or to New Zealand, where they filmed "The Lord of the Rings".

- I want a divorce. - Or to Almería, to see the village

- From "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly." - Are you listening to me?

- I want a divorce. - Already?

I know you have a mistress.

You bastard, you're setting me up with my best friend!

- I felt very bad, I had to tell him.

- But you already knew. - Agustín, don't bring me up...

- Well, I was hoping to last a little longer,

But it's true that lately people have less and less patience.

Getting divorced can be an interesting life experience.

- Of course! - Come on, let's go see Rebecca!

- What's the rush, huh? You're really having a hard time.

A lot!

Millionaire! Millionaire!

- Miss, your father is here. - Again?

Hey! What's up, guys? I told him to wait at the door...

Relax, Lili, relax, there's trust here.

You can leave.

Hey, Lili's a bit rude, isn't she? Dad, I'm not going to lend you money.

Nor to give it to you. It's not necessary, man.

if now I am a "businessman".

No, I came to see if you wanted to come for Christmas Eve

going home for dinner with the family.

- Which family? - I can't, I have plans.

What's that? I'm going to have my baby here at home.

Like at home? Without a doctor or anything? No, no, no, no, no.

As a former cardiologist, I can tell you that's very dangerous.

You've never been a cardiologist. And what's this ring for?

He will be broadcasting it live on OnlyFans.

For Only... (NERVOUSLY LAUGHS)

But who is the depraved person who is going to pay to see that?

10,000 people have already subscribed. 10,000...

10 300.

Wait, wait, I'm getting a yellow light.

Dad, it's not what you think, it's going to be something very aesthetically pleasing.

With music, candles, in a zen way... In a zen way?

What was the plan?

Well, it was to be expected that if Juan de Dios escaped,

Jamoncitos was going to get annoyed.

- I should have put them in separate cells.

I'm worried I might lose my son over this nonsense.

No, he's upset now, but when he gets over it...

A mother is a mother, no matter how much of a kidnapper she is.

- I'm going to send him a message, let's see if he answers me.

- Hey Grecas, stop throwing peels at me!

I'll get out the steam cleaner and open your pores for Christmas Eve.

- Well, Coque left us. - That's how the poor guy ended up.

- Depressed from putting up with you. - Clown,

- If you're going to put that up, don't put anything up at all. - And what do they want for ten euros?

I've stretched them out a lot. Haven't you put up a nativity scene?

Yes, I have it here.

I haven't hung it up because I haven't had enough money for the pushpins.

- You cheapskate, you've put down four pieces of crap.

Is this what you charge 380 euros for in community fees?

Tankette, you shut up, you're from the interior.

I am looking out for the interests of my daughter and my son-in-law!

Throw these away, they look bad.

I've already threatened them with the steam cleaner, but they won't leave.

- Fishmonger! Are you already making silly purchases?

These are not times for frills.

So what's the verdict? Is it a silly expense or just four pieces of junk?

Damn communists!

Of course, since it's not your money...

Here we go again! I'm not a communist! But what...

- Shh, they've announced the winning number! - Look, early bird.

I haven't found out the number yet.

Universe, get me out of poverty! Hey...

Man, Menchu...

Look, since I have you here, I'll take the opportunity to give you the news.

"What did you break?" "No, I didn't break anything. I'm leaving."

- You're leaving, where to? - To live with my boyfriend.

You are officially no longer my landlady.

- But you still have two months left on your contract.

Don't worry, I'll pay you back. Goodbye!

Uh! The heavy dick is leaving!

- He's leaving, did you hear that? - Look, he's left me on read.

- Typing! Typing! - Uh!

- 54! - Me, me!

- Sagrario, beautiful, what can I get you? - Give me a golden one,

I'm going to make it with cider. I make it really well.

Get out of here. Don't cut in line, faggot.

And take a number. I'm the owner.

Berta! Antonio, have you seen?

We're packed! My camera is almost empty.

Sorry, sorry.

Boss, boss, three kilos of barnacles for the Wellington brunch!

But what's he doing here? Oh, working, just like last night.

I sleep less than Batman's butler.

- I've set up an express home delivery service.

We have ten motorcycles. Where are you getting the money from?

Who's your damn investor? Speak up!

I'm not going to tell you, he wants to remain anonymous.

Aha! It's a man! Berti, you're putting your foot in it.

You know it! Tell me, or 600,000 volts will run through you...!

Leave her alone! Either you work or you leave!

(Mobile)

Recio Seafood, the sea at the best price, how can I help you?

Don't copy me, that's my slogan! They're the ones from the Golden Lobster.

Again? How tiresome, it's the same every year.

They want us just to fill space. Good heavens!

Seriously? Yes, yes, yes.

We'll be there. What's up?

They gave it to us. Ah!

We've won the Golden Lobster!

- Ah! - Congratulations! Congratulations, sweetheart!

Guys, the boss has won the wholesalers' Oscar!

(THEY SHOUT AND APPLAUD)

Yes to you, but not to me?

Out! Out!

Damn old women...

Santa Claus won't give them a stroke.

- Handsome... - Man, Miss Denmark.

- I've missed you. How are you? - Well, look, here,

- Succeeding in life, can't you see? - What was I going to say?

Now that you're a goalkeeper, you could come up and do a quick fix for me.

- No, Logi, no, let's not spoil that beautiful memory

- We have some of our own. - Do you have any plans for Christmas Eve?

"I don't understand the question, no." "Why don't you have dinner with the marchioness?"

It's just that she's left all alone and I feel sorry for her, the woman.

- We've fought in worse arenas, I've rammed into every kind of bull I've faced.

which for me remains, but with age I'm becoming

- More selective. - If you don't have to sleep with her.

- It's just keeping her company. - Yeah, that's what everyone always says.

But then the trap is there. Bravo!

- Do you have something better to do? - But do you pay anything?

- Because my company is premium. - There's no money.

- But you'll earn points for heaven. - No, heaven doesn't convince me.

Seeing so many good people together makes me very nervous.

Come on, let's go, I have to get to work.

- I'll call you when I land. - Yes.

If I don't answer, it's because I'm at the movies.

- With myself, feeling myself. - Very good, darling.

- Are you going to spend Christmas alone, teacher?

Yes. And I love the idea.

Loneliness is an opportunity to become aware of myself

and to free myself from the chains of expectation

- and dependency. - Be careful,

These dates are a real pain, aren't they?

Being alone at Christmas is for the brave.

Did you know that suicides are skyrocketing?

Not at Christmas, but during the post-holiday slump.

- But it doesn't affect me. - Man, I'm telling you.

because I'm offering to have dinner with you.

And we see "Home Alone" and "Die Hard" and...

I can't hear you, I'm leaving.

Nothing.

Universe, we'll have dinner just the two of us.

# The one that's coming. #

How sad.

- Do you have a prenuptial agreement? - Community property.

- By law, at least three months have to pass.

from the link to file a divorce petition.

- Three months? - Yes, but to speed things up,

We can start taking stock of the community property.

- before dissolving it. - He has 50 million euros

- In the account. - Well, now a little less.

With your salary, Lola's salary, the wedding expenses...

I have 812 left.

- 812,000. - No, no, no, 812 euros.

With 64 cents.

- That's a lie! He actually won the Euromillions lottery.

- But my personalities have spent it all,

- Since they see everything through the peephole... - Agustín, don't be cheeky.

- Yakisoba has made a donation to Tibet,

Haägen Dazs is funding a German neo-Nazi party.

Don Simón has been going to expensive prostitutes.

Massimo Dutti has bought a sailboat,

Margaret Astor has sent money to her family in London.

- What family? - That's why I asked you to marry me.

- Because I can't pay you a salary. - But...

- Let's see, if he won the Euromillions before they were married,

we would be talking about a private asset,

Therefore, you wouldn't be entitled to half either.

- Oh, really? - No, no...

Yes, you need to be informed.

And what do you have?

Me, nothing.

Well, it's my house, but it's also private, isn't it?

- It depends. - It depends on what?

- Do you have a mortgage? - Well, like everyone else.

- Then all the fees that are paid after the wedding

They are marital property. How much is each one worth?

- 1600. - Well, 800 are from Augustine,

Multiply it by three, which is the number of months you have

- that they remain married. - 2400 euros.

Hey, that's a lot of money. Can you make me a transfer?

Or three Bizum payments, the limit is 1000.

- Whatever suits you best, darling. - And what about your house? Huh?

Because part of your house is mine too.

It's in my mother's name. When she dies, I'll inherit it.

But for now, he's in good health.

In the latest tests, she looked great.

So you have nothing?

- Mmm... - And how are you going to pay me?

My fees are 1200 plus VAT and the solicitor's fee is 400.

- Half and half, right? Since we have marital property...

Amancio! Shall we have a party on Christmas Eve?

You provide the children's play area and I'll provide the skewered meat.

No, I can't, Fermín, I'm having dinner with my family.

Which family? Well, mine, damn it, what else would it be?

I have an ex, some children, and an almost-grandson.

I'm going to be an old man. Is the womanizing playboy going to be an old man?

Yes. You're going to bury yourself alive.

My streak of successful crashes came to an end.

Grow up, Fermín, grow up! There's more to life than sex!

If this brainless idiot can get his gang together, so can I.

Pelocho. I'm Fermín, who...

Did he hang up on me or did the call cut off?

I'm going to be optimistic.

Javi! It's important, man.

Lola misses Ursulita a lot.

Send it to her for Christmas, damn it, you're going too far

the regulatory agreement is a load of rubbish...

Ah... Vale, vale.

Yes, yes, we'll be waiting for you here.

Look how quickly I convinced him.

He's a good person; he's just been manipulated.

Women, who do whatever they want with us.

- But how can you say you have no money? What about my commission?

- Thank goodness I still have love. - You owe me a million euros, huh?

I have it in writing!

- Lola, it's going to cost me money to have married Agustín!

- Where are you going? - To return my Jimmy Choos!

Cute! Ah!

Amador, I'm in a hurry! Carlota wants to give birth at home

and broadcast it live on OnlyFans.

What? He wants to make it beautiful, he says.

Like, in a Zen way. In a Zen way?

But does she know what it's like to give birth? She already has 10,300 subscribers.

for the event, and rising. But come on, this girl...

What do we do? I'm stuck. I have no brain...

Stop it, Amador! Now.

Tell him to come over for Christmas Eve dinner.

I've already told him, but he ignores me. Keep trying!

Be a pain, you're really good at it. It's all problems, damn it!

Not even a single fucking normal day!

(Mobile)

¡Puf!

Them!

Should I drug my husband and go upstairs for a little while?

Well, I'm really busy right now. Maybe tomorrow at noon.

I have some free time. I really want to do everything for you.

"And me, and me."

Oh my God! What am I supposed to do with this?

If he's "in love".

Oscar, great news!

- Oh! What's that? - Nothing much,

Because you always take such good care of me, I said:

"I'm going to do something nice for Menchu." - Oh! Call me "Mom."

- Hey, there's something I wanted to tell you. - Finally, my annoying tenant!

- Go fuck yourself! - Oh! That's great.

She says she's got a boyfriend.

Poor guy who has to put up with her, of course.

- I feel so sorry for you... - Yes, poor thing.

(Mobile)

- Look, what I was saying is... - Baby!

"Mom, Mom, I'm on my way to the airport!"

- Get me some cologne from Duty Free! - "What's up?"

"Aren't I enough for you?" "Well, stretch yourself a little, daughter."

- It's Christmas. - "No, sir, no!"

"Not to Charles de Gaulle, to Orly!"

"Oh, I'll leave you now, this man doesn't understand anything."

"Baby?" She hung up. She loves to hang up.

- Oh. The tenant is leaving, your sister is coming back...

- Oh, what a wonderful Christmas! - My sister?

Ah, yes, of course, of course.

- What did you want to tell me? - Huh? No, well, let's see...

I'm so happy to be spending Christmas with you...

- Mom. - Honey, me too.

I no longer need either my grandson or my great love.

I'm so happy...

(Christmas Carol)

(Blizzard)

# Silent Night

# Night of love.

# It has been born

# the baby Jesus.

# In a humble

# Bethlehem portal.

# Dream of a future of love

# and of faith.

# It's coming to bring us

# peace.

# He comes to bring us peace. #

(SHOUTS) No!

¡No!

(Timbre)

- You've won the jackpot! - Me?

- That's difficult, I don't buy lottery tickets. - Then why are you shouting?

What's troubling you? You know you can always count on me.

- A friend to talk to. - No, no, no, nothing.

Everything's fine, everything's okay.

- A little bird told me that you've been left alone

this Christmas.

Not to criticize the redhead, but she probably doesn't like you much.

if he abandons you on such important dates.

- It's his mother, she's dying. - Oh... Okay.

Darling, I am willing to put aside our differences

and spend Christmas Eve together.

As Beaudelaire said: "Let us prop up the silence

drawing company."

- Thank you very much, I'll sign up myself.

I'm not going to stay calm, you know?

Do you know how many suicides there are at Christmas?

- Another one... No, I just won't be there, okay?

I'm thinking of organizing a dinner with all the neighbors,

- In the bookstore cafe. - Even the ones inside?

- Yes, yes, everyone. It's Christmas. - Free?

- Of course. If you invite and charge, it's not inviting.

- You know money is no problem for me.

- No, no, not for me either. - I accept.

I don't find it particularly funny.

to join that bunch of upstarts,

But I will tolerate their presence for your sake.

- Can we sit together? - Well, when I'm hosting,

I get up all the time, I can't stay still.

I'm going to organize the event, if you'll allow me...

If you need me, just tell me.

I organized the coming-out party for the Viscountess's niece

from Cazalla del Río, before tuberculosis took her,

that does not distinguish between classes or lineages.

Very well. Come on...

Why do I have a peephole?

- No, I don't work on Christmas Eve.

- I've already made plans. - What plans?

- Bruno, I have a private life. Not much, but I do.

- Please, it's just a neighbors' dinner.

- I'll give you a Christmas bonus. - It's not about money.

- 1000 euros. - Okay.

- One less problem. - Uh, let me see if I understand:

So you're going to organize

a dinner party with 20 people you can't stand

so you don't have dinner alone with the marchioness.

Yes, that's a good summary.

I'm going to post an invitation in the group.

Oh, sorry.

Tinín, traitor!

But how could you even think of voting for my wife?

I charged you VAT!

You won't be the bastard investor.

I'll burn your restaurant down, okay?

It's cut out. Shouldn't you be happy?

If it's your company. It's no longer my company.

Your stepmother stole it from me; she's even worse than in fairy tales.

(Timbre)

Well, I like her. Didn't you have to do the laundry?

The dryer is finishing.

- Mr. President, come down to the patio, we have another Christmas crisis.

Shitty parties. Wow...

Hey guys! I'm organizing a Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow.

para todo el edificio en la cafebrería, ¿os apuntáis?

It's free.

I posted it in the group, but no one has replied.

I have nothing better to do than put up with neighbors on Christmas Eve.

Not with me alone, but with the rest yes, right?

Very ugly, teacher. Very ugly.

(Christmas music)

Oh, how cute!

Look at the mess the tooth puller has made.

This has made us look like fools. But what gave you the right to do this?

- With mine. Isn't it beautiful? - Gorgeous!

- I'm not going to Cortilandia this year. - I like it.

The camel-shepherd ratio is a bit unbalanced, but oh well...

But where did you plug this in?

The electricity is communal! Fishmonger, now that's a nativity scene!

The way God intended, not the crap you've given us!

So what's the deal, cockatoo? Wasn't it a silly expense?

- Fishmonger, resign! - Darling,

How much have you spent on all this?

- What does it matter, Martin! Where's your Christmas spirit?

By the way, this is your gift of the year.

- Enjoy it. - I bought you some earrings.

"Oh, but don't say it!" "Haven't you thought about submitting it?"

- To the nativity scene contest? - What contest?

There's a €300 prize. And a selection of handmade marzipan.

- Ah, look. Well, we could use the money.

I'm introducing myself too!

I plan to set up the best nativity scene in the neighborhood!

Better than mine? Ha! Not a chance.

- Watch out for the extra charges, eh, Rancio? It's not going to cost us a penny.

Tankette, I have a brilliant plan. You see...

Sorry, I'm organizing a Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow.

- It's free. Are you in? - Can it be taken away?

- That way I don't cook? - No, it's about all of us getting together

- on such a date... - Oh, no, then I'm not interested.

- Do I have to prepare it myself? - No, no, everything is catered.

I posted it in the group, but no one has replied.

- Just what I needed, having to put up with neighbors on Christmas Eve.

On...

(Christmas music)

Antonio, I've bought you a suit for the awards ceremony.

Come upstairs and try it on, I'll give you the bass guitar.

I don't have time for nonsense, I have to win

A nativity scene contest. Ah!

And is that more important than an award for your wife?

Don't forget Mariscos Recio.

The award is given to my company, which I built from scratch.

Yes, but I made it grow! With money that isn't yours!

Who's the damn investor? It's you who's bothered by this.

It's that they give it to me, but not to you! They give it to you because you're a woman.

What? They're giving out prizes now.

to directors, to doctors, to businesswomen...

It's the trend. It started with gay people.

Then came the disabled, and now it's your turn.

Let's see what happens next.

That was a bit mean of him to say, wasn't it?

Be careful, they'll cancel you now for much less.

I don't pay you to give your opinion, I pay you to do the dirty work.

Espeter, can you help me with something? What is it?

I charge extra for odd jobs. No.

I have to betray a woman. And you need help with that?

- I don't know, Maite, I open my heart to you and you run off to marry someone else.

- I understand he's a little upset. - That it was about money.

I love you. But Agustín won the Euromillions lottery.

- And... - You're kidding me. Are you a millionaire?

- No, because the idiot spent it all, but...

- But I'm already getting a divorce, you know? - Look, I want to settle down,

to have a family, but with someone normal.

- I, I'm normal! It's just that later

- Well, life comes as it comes. - Yes.

- Why don't you come over for dinner tonight?

I cook, I prepare something simple, something intimate.

- So you can see how normal I am. - I don't know, I don't know.

- Except in bed, because you know I'm...

far above average, as I've shown you, huh?

- What time? - Ah!

- Guys, I'm hosting a dinner party for the neighbors tomorrow,

It's all free, are you in? I posted it in the group.

- But he hasn't answered me... - No, thanks. I mean, no way.

OK.

- And you, Mrs. Fina? - Go to hell, you wimp.

- What's wrong? - No, it's just that every time I see you...

I don't know.

"Fina, my love!" "Dad, please don't greet her like that."

- That's kept you locked up for 30 years. - Son, it's just habit.

- Poor thing, he's such a sweetheart... - What are these two doing here?

- I had plans with you. - Mom, don't get all cocky.

- What do you want, to humiliate me? - I'll report you,

- But these two won't let me. - I'm so happy

after seeing my son again,

- I don't care about anything. - Dad, Dad...

- Do you see? Thanks to me, you've had

A precious reunion. Not even on "Patricia's Diary".

And I have found love.

- Ugh, how disgusting! But don't kiss!

- Mom, I'm willing to forgive you in exchange for just one thing.

Whatever you want, son.

- I want to have a Christmas Eve dinner with my family again.

- The three of them? - The four of them.

# The one that... The one that's coming. #

Wouldn't it be easier to just leave it?

No, she has to be the one to cut it.

This isn't easy for me, you know?

Old feelings that I had repressed are awakened in me.

What are you saying? Damn it, for our love.

Fermín, you're not going to save on rent.

That's not it.

Between Vicente's death and the distance from my Cornelius...

¿Cornelius?

My son, Cornelius Trujillo Petrescu.

Ah! He has the name of a trapeze artist.

I have a mix of emotions there that...

I understand, I understand. Amador?

Here it comes, here it comes... Lie down, lie down.

I pass by, it's open. This...

Hello! Oh!

Bravo, Zumber is putting on a show!

But what is he doing here? Ah, "my God"! "My God", Greit!

¡"I'm sorry"! ¡"I'm sorry", me has pillado!

You caught me! But we had made plans, you idiot.

I have to confess something to you:

I'm bisexual, I can't hide it anymore.

I like salami.

You're bisexual? Come on, man. We could have a threesome, huh?

Which wouldn't be the first.

Do you remember that lying maid who caused all the trouble?

Sonsoles. Rest in peace.

Requiem cantimpalo. Are you kidding me?

(Message)

I'll leave you now, my granddaughter has arrived.

No, no, no, no, leave it, leave it, it makes me feel awkward in front of her.

"I love you", Fermín. "Me too".

That's awful...

Greta... I'm going to host a Christmas Eve dinner

in the cafeteria for the whole building, free.

Are you in? I posted it in the group, but...

Hello.

- And you? - What about me?

- Dinner. Tomorrow. At the bookstore cafe. Free.

- No, thank you. I don't go to meetings, let alone a dinner.

See you later.

Who do I have left?

Did she leave you or not? "No, but she left very upset."

No, man, no, I'm not annoyed.

"I don't know if she's bought the fact that I'm bisexual,

"Since I'm from Albacete..."

Dad, it's better if we do the thinking ourselves.

"Of course, of course, I just don't have a brain..."

That's it, you don't improvise anymore!

"And if it comes back, what do I do? Do I get it again or...?"

- Amador, it's about finding the middle ground.

- That's it, that she's happy enough, but without wanting to leave her family.

¡Esteban!

"So, do I give him the goods or not?"

"That wasn't clear to me."

(Timbre)

Oscar!

- Have you told him yet? - Oh!

- Are you packing yet? - Yes.

Look, look, look, look, look!

What do you think... Ta-da!, this duplex penthouse?

It's a little less central, but look, look at the views!

And on the terrace we can put, I don't know,

- Sun loungers, like a solarium. - Lovely. (LAUGHS)

- How did they take it? - Who?

- Menchu. The thing about you not wanting me to adopt you anymore because we're together.

- Ah! Good, good, good... I mean, bad, terribly bad.

Come on, the sooner we leave, the better.

- Tonight, if possible. - Oh, I'm so happy...!

And me, and me.

(Timbre)

- (DRUNKEN) What are you doing here? - I'm glad to see you too,

- Mom. - Oh, oh, you're drunk.

- No, I just had a little whiskey, a short one.

At noon?

And what kind of example are you setting for your daughter?

- I hadn't planned to set an example for anyone today.

- Come on, come on, darling, go and get settled in.

- Why? - To leave my suitcase and backpack

- In your mother's bedroom. - Don't I even have my own room?

- Damn... - Come on.

(WHISPERS) Dad...

But how could you do this to me?

- My daughter, there has been a dramatic turn of events.

Martina has peritonitis and...

"He's dead!" "No, but you have to go through."

Christmas with Ursulita.

It is the universe,

which is giving you the opportunity to make up for lost time with your daughter.

So you're already returning the ticket to the "Seiseche".

- What "Seiseise"? I have no money, no career,

- Not even a house... It's the black hand! - My daughter!

- Yayo, I'll pass. I'm going back to Dad and Martina.

You can't, they're going to Paris.

Get up, we're going to have some ice cream.

- Ice cream? In December? - Come on, damn it, get dressed already!

And you, darling, leave the suitcase and the backpack.

Go on... Just being a pain in the ass.

There will be seafood, roast beef, marzipan, champagne...

- Okay. Well, let me check the schedule.

- Because we have many commitments. - Since we are squatters,

We're very busy. (They laugh)

- You liked the joke, huh? - Chusa, it's a free dinner.

- Uh, the dinners aren't good. The dinners aren't good.

(THEY SPEAK AT THE SAME TIME) What are you doing there?

Nothing, I'm not doing anything.

Are you interested in a job?

There's nothing to do.

Just standing on the street for a few hours.

Ah, I've mastered that.

Ursulita, come on, put your phone down, we're here with family.

- Since when has your father let you have a mobile phone?

Since I grew up, Mom.

Because you ignore everything, you've missed out on things.

"Hey, don't talk to me like that." Martina says respect.

- You have to earn it. - Come on, let's keep the peace, shall we?

It's a very beautiful day.

"Okay, what flavor ice cream do you want?" Martina asks.

that industrial ice creams are a sugar bomb

- Full of saturated fats. - Martina knows so much!

- Well, a slushie, huh? - Martina says that slushies

They contain carcinogenic dyes that cause leukemia.

and brain tumors.

- Damn, what do we ask for so we don't die?

Should I take note of them?

- Do you have anything that isn't carcinogenic?

- What? - Mineral water for everyone.

- Or doesn't Martina like that either? - She says she doesn't like bottled water

It's a scam and an ecocrime.

which costs a thousand times more than tap water

and that generates 5 million tons of plastic per year.

- Well, three glasses of tap water, then, eh?

"Well, it'll be cheap for us." Martina says tap water.

- unfiltered... - Shut up!

(Mobile)

My darling.

Mr. President... "Where are you?"

"I have a task for you."

I can't go right now, I'm in the middle of nowhere

from a family tragedy. I am the glue that holds my pineapple together.

"Slacking off during working hours?"

"Very serious offense, immediate dismissal."

Okay, fine, damn it, give me five minutes!

Duty calls.

Come on, let's do a dine and dash.

But what's the point, if they haven't brought us anything?

But what kind of husband throws his wife into the arms of another man?

Someone who loves you. Do you know how badly I've suffered?

How guilty have I felt?

And the little girl was an accomplice! How could you do this to me?

Don't play the victim now, because I'm the one who's been cuckolded here.

Don't act like a saint now,

that you slept with the neighbor across the street.

No, we didn't do anything.

What? Maite didn't want to.

Did you lie to me?

Are you scolding me for not sleeping with someone else?

Now I really want a divorce! (CRIES)

I don't understand what's happening.

I don't really fit this character, do I?

San José was the opposite of a beach bum.

He was a henpecked husband, and the woman got pregnant.

- while I was building shelves. - I'm missing a small stove.

How could baby Jesus have had a stove 2000 years ago?

Cockroach, no anachronisms, huh? Well, give me an ox and a mule.

- No, no, they'll mess up the whole entrance.

And where has the Virgin Mary gone?

That the jury can come at any moment.

Chusa! What are you doing? Close up, it'll only take five minutes.

But how can a virgin who has just given birth give blowjobs?

With the baby in the manger? I need money.

I have a lot of expenses at Christmas. Goodbye!

Oh! And where am I going to get another Virgin Mary now?

She was so good. If only Raluka were here...

Although that virgin one, not so much anymore.

Inclusive Belén, I love it.

Mr. President, I don't find this whole thing about the trans Virgin very credible.

And what if a pigeon impregnates her? I'd buy it.

The mother of the Messiah must be pure.

- And she's a textbook sinner. - But she confessed.

I went to mass this morning.

"Holy Family", a selfie for Insta.

That's it, that's it, advertising, let your friends come.

All I need now is the Three Wise Men.

She wants me to have dinner with my ex-husband and his lover.

- Man, I don't think you're in a position to argue, eh, Fina?

- But I'd rather be locked up.

- Would you rather spend your whole life in jail than have dinner?

Two hours with your son, your husband, and his boyfriend?

- Yes. It's less humiliating. - Bah, have four Cuba Libres.

And you'll see how the night flies by.

- No, no, if I drink, my son gets angry.

- It's all just problems. - Well, after you locked up

to his father in a cellar and make him believe he was dead,

I don't think he'll mind much if you have a drink.

- Why don't you come and have dinner with us?

No, I can't, the little girl is coming back.

I have to spend Christmas with my family

and celebrate that my bitch of a tenant is finally leaving.

- What a wonderful gift! - And did he leave the apartment in good condition?

- Huh? - The floor.

- What? - I asked if he did a good job.

I'll keep an eye on him when he leaves.

In short, I don't plan to return the deposit.

- And why is he leaving in such a hurry? Something's fishy there.

- You've made me feel bad, I was so happy, you know.

Pussy!

(JADE)

(Timbre)

It's Menchu, open up!

- Oh God, I can't stand this woman! - Just ignore her.

I know you're home!

I'll call 112 and say I smell gas, okay?

- I'm going! - No, man, no...

- I'm coming! - No, no, not now!

But if I don't open it, it's worse!

(Timbre)

I'm coming, damn it!

Lady of the noses.

- Let's see how the apartment is, it's been a long time since I've been in there.

- Menchu, you can't just show up here whenever you feel like it!

- I can do whatever I want, it's my house!

- What bothers you is that she's with Oscar!

What Oscar? My Oscar?

- Hahaha, you wish! - Don't play dumb,

- I know he told you. - To me?

- Oscar! - Is he here?

- What are you doing? - Oh!

Oh!

Oscar! But look at him!

- Oh my, what a cute little bottom, the angel of the night!

- But where are you going? - Oh, sorry, sorry.

- But where are you going, coward? - Are you with her?

- Wait, let me explain everything. - Oscar, you lied to me.

"Leave my son alone!" "He's not your son!"

- Oscar, I understand that what happened to the little girl has been hard,

But don't let that dick manipulate you.

- Excuse me? - He's taking advantage of you

because Yoli is traveling and she's missing her chance.

- Rebecca! - She got away.

- Oh! - No, no, no, stay still!

- But what are you doing? But... - Let me go, you crazy bitch!

- I've been wanting to see you for so long...! - But...

(YOLI) What are you doing?

¿Hello?

- Girl! Your brother is cheating on you with this.

- What are you saying? - But we're not together anymore!

- And they're not even siblings! - Have you had sex?

- No, no, no, no... - What do you mean, no?

- But stop lying already! - Yes, well, but only today.

If you hadn't made so many stops...

- It's just sex, you can sort this out, like my name is

- María del Carmen Carrascosa. - No, it's not just sex.

- I'm in love with Rebecca. - You bastard!

And you give me this upset in my condition!

In what state?

Holy shit!

- Baby... - (CRYING) Mom...

Not to mention the Christmas Eve binges,

which then leads to the emergency rooms becoming overwhelmed,

And we all pay for healthcare.

I believe the ministry should campaign

to raise awareness:

"Eat shortbread cookies in moderation, it's your responsibility."

Government of Spain."

Good evening, thank you very much!

(They applaud)

Those toasts are delicious, aren't they?

Not quite as good as grandpa's skewered sardines, but...

- I want to go home. - We can't, okay?

My roommate is having a dinner party and has kicked us out.

- I mean mine, with Dad, Martina and my brothers.

- She's so annoying. - Don't say such mean things to her.

to your mother, who has missed you.

- That's a lie. Did you miss me?

Ah...

My love, I love you very much, even though we don't see each other.

- Well, Dad told me you wanted to abort me

And that when I was born, you said I was ugly.

- Aha, you've opened Pandora's box!

- No, no, we'll close it, we'll close it, okay?

- No, no... - You've never cared about me!

- Yes, yes. The thing is, your mother is a great actress.

and show business is very absorbing.

"But she's a failure." "Excuse me, I was Lucrecia."

in "Bloody Boarding School"! And Adelita Villalobos!

In Mexico I couldn't even set foot on the street.

And I've been this close to working with Almodóvar!

- Wow. They gave it to Paula Echevarría.

"Don't even mention her name!" "My daughter, it's not to worry you,

But you're starting to look a bit like your mother.

- Oh! - A little bit.

What a gratuitous attack!

- I gave you life! - Don't play the victim!

- Ridiculous... - Very well.

Lola Reynolds is leaving for good!

(SHOUTS) How alone I am! How alone!

- Do you like my spaghetti? - Uh...

They're kind of stuck together. Is the tomato from a jar?

- (NODS) It's because you like normal things so much...

What could be more normal than spaghetti with tomato sauce?

- Come on, you're kidding me. - Yes. (LAUGHS)

Come on, bring out the real dinner.

Oh, no, no, I haven't done anything else.

But if you don't like them,

Well, we can move directly to dessert.

(Timbre)

- Not now! (CARLOTA) Mom, open up!

Carlota?

No, no, no, no, no... What are you doing here?

"Dad has invited us to dinner." "My son..."

Hey! Man, "the doctor Ventur".

- What's wrong? - Amador, I told you on Christmas Eve!

The girl couldn't, she had a plan.

I'm having a private online dinner with a subscriber.

- Subscriber of what? (SISEA)

I can't today, I'm busy.

- It's okay. Better yet, a nice family dinner.

What are the pizzas made of? Salami.

With extra spice. (MAITE SIGHS)

Hello.

- Oh, what's he doing here? I invited him.

Since he's my brother-in-law... What brother-in-law, what are you talking about?

Oh, really? Well, I'm confused.

So what about me? Nothing!

- Carlota, you look beautiful. Agustín!

Augustine...

Well, I'm off to the awards ceremony...

Alone. Well, I hope you're very happy.

Congratulations, Berta.

(SISEA) I can't hear the TV.

They're streaming the gala on YouTube, in case you want to watch it.

No, thank you, I'm not interested. I'm going to watch a movie with my son.

No, no, I'm leaving. When you've cleaned up the kitchen.

(TOÑÍN BOFFS)

(BERTA SIGHS)

(BERTA ON TV) "Have your disciples shown up unexpectedly?"

"Are you having a last gala dinner?"

"I, Berta Escobar,

I offer you the freshest fish, and at prices... miraculous!"

"Blessed are the hungry, for they may call upon..."

(BOTH) "Recio Seafood!" Turn that shit off!

"The sea at the best price!" - You're jealous, aren't you?

Lump-free Cola Cao? It's strong.

And two packets of sugar.

Mr. Recio, my monologue has been lost.

Coque, you fools aren't funny.

What happens to Santa Claus if he loses a reindeer?

He has kidney failure. (LAUGHS) Oh!

That's a good one, huh?

Coke, I've lost my empire.

My wife stole it right in front of my face.

Well, build another one out of thin air. I have no money, nor the strength.

Even the descendants of El Cid falter.

Although it may not seem like it, I am human too.

Let Don Bruno help him, aren't you friends?

I don't know if he's my friend.

He didn't vote for me as president.

And the other day he called me a demented monster.

He helped Don Amador. And how did he help him?

He lent him money to buy the tuk-tuks.

It is investing in SMEs.

And what type of SMEs does it invest in exactly?

Small family businesses in the area.

He's one of those "business" angels.

Antonio, the chocolate milk!

(Timbre)

Antonio, for God's sake!

(Electric discharge)

¡Bruno!

Traitor!

Wake up!

Antonio... Confess!

You're a damn investor! What are you saying?

I'm going to give you a heart attack, aren't I? You're a depressive addict.

They won't even perform an autopsy on you if you're taking tranquilizers.

Yes, it's me. Can you let me go, please?

I can't, you have to die in terrible suffering!

But why, if I've saved your company?

You betrayed me by helping my filthy wife!

Dirty bitch? Your wife is a saint!

But do you realize how lucky you are to be married to her?

You fucked her! You defiled her Christian pussy!

You're sick! If you don't take care of her, you'll end up more alone than I am.

If you have the redheaded slut.

No way, she's gone to spend Christmas with her mother in Ibiza.

What's her pussy like? Antonio, you miserable wretch.

He should be condemned to permanent solitude.

And instead, you have a woman who adores you.

And much more importantly: it puts up with you.

No, I do love her, okay? But...

Oh, now I feel bad. Stop upsetting him already, man.

Go give her a kiss. Okay, but don't tell anyone.

I've cried a lot, haven't I? I'm a vault.

Hey, wait, untie me!

¡Antonio!

Eat something, you're not eating anything. More spicy oil?

- No, thank you. - Dad!

- What's with you and spicy food? It induces labor.

I saw it on YouTube. Ah!

- Amador, how are you? I'm very well, and you?

I was referring to my son. (LOW VOICE) Fuck you.

- Junior... - What?

- Answer Dad. - And when is the delivery due?

I've already subscribed. I bet you'll kill me!

- Dad, leave him alone, he's one of my best subscribers.

- Uh, subscriber to what? (SISEA)

- Uh... Hey, what if we put on some music?

Come on, let's get moving!

(Music)

# Tell me what you like, say it, baby.

# I'm going to give you salami right here on the sand. #

Come on, daughter, let's dance with Daddy! What are you doing?

Let's dance, let's dance.

Come on, jump with daddy, jump, jump!

And what kind of music do you like?

- Forgive him, my love, it's just that when he's on his phone...

- I don't want to dance, you pest! - "My love"?

Don't you think it's a bit distasteful to flirt with someone else in front of your husband?

- Agustín, we're getting a divorce. - No.

I want to fight for this marriage.

- Ah! - Agustín, don't mess with me, okay?

Cute! Every month we're still married

You cost me 800 euros. Oh, man!

What if we try couples therapy? What do you say?

- Cute! - What?

"Breaking waters". ¡Ah!

- Someone call an Uber, I have to go home!

- Cool! I'm going to get the iPad! - I'm leaving now.

- Uh, uh, uh... But should I call you? - No, no, it's just that being

step-grandfather, just like that, it's not like, no.

Besides, my son doesn't listen to me at all.

- Little chick, listen to your father! Little chick!

Cute! Yes!

Come on, let's go. You guys, a mop or something.

You're doing great, honey. I mean, just breathe, breathe.

- ¡ Fu, fu, fu, fu! - ¿Y mi Uber?

No need! Just kidding, right?

- Ah, ah! - Oh, ah!

Come on, Cuqui, come upstairs! I'm coming.

- How cool! Can you drive this without a license?

- Come on, darling, my love, you're doing great.

- Breathe, breathe. Fu, fu, fu! - Yes, you're annoying!

Convertible!

(CARLOTA WIPES)

- This thing doesn't shoot shit. Yes, it does.

It gets packed on the slopes.

- Oh! Contraction! - Oh, oh!

Don't worry, we're almost there.

We're here, we're here, we're here!

Parked!

Dad, this isn't my house.

Oh man, that means my GPS must have failed me.

But anyway, since we're here, you have it here, right?

- You're kidding me, aren't you? - Carlota, give birth

It's something very beautiful and very intimate, not a show.

for your 10,000 subscribers.

10,300. Also, if you want a Zen birth,

You're going to need an epidural. Of course.

"Take me home now, damn it!" "I refuse!"

- My daughter is going to give birth in a hospital! - Oh, oh!

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no! Okay, wherever,

But get this out of here now! Oh no, oh no, oh no!

(Siren)

But... But where is it going?

What...

But...

But he's getting away! He's leaving, he's leaving.

Here it comes, here it comes!

Say something to him. I'll say something.

Carlota!

Well... At least we tried.

Look, can't we talk like normal people?

- No, you bastard! - That's enough!

- Doing this to my pregnant daughter. - I didn't know she was pregnant!

And why aren't you saying anything to me?

- Because these things aren't discussed over the phone!

- And I wanted to surprise you. - Are you sure it's mine?

- I have been faithful to you, unlike you, you son of a bitch!

- You son of a bitch! - Baby, no, calm down.

The baby... Baby, go sit down, go on, yes.

Menchu... And what about us?

- Why would I want a child if I'm going to have a grandchild?

- Dude, you're going to be a father. - I didn't know!

- Oh, I don't know, Oscar. You never stop lying...

- I understand you need to think about it. - No, I've already thought about it.

- Goodbye. - No, no!

Yoli, let's talk, shall we?

Yes, if we're going to be parents, we should try. Shouldn't we?

(YOLI) Get lost!

- Yoli, I mean, if you won't do it for me, do it for our son.

Or our daughter... What is she?

Hello?

- Come in, come in. - Thank you.

- Don't open it! - Honey, it's Christmas.

- "Hello everyone! The day has arrived, I've already called my doula,

"It's about to arrive."

"For now, he's told me to breathe. Will you help me?"

"Let's do it: let's inspire...".

(AGUSTÍN INSPIRES)

"We exhale."

(TURN)

- "We inspire." - (INSPIRE)

"We exhale."

- "Ah!" - Come on, Carlota, you can do it.

(Door)

She's having contractions.

Get out of here! Degenerate! Amador!

I pay for the subscription.

Oh, Carlota, you're going to be a mother. Hush!

God willing, everything will go well!

(AGUSTÍN) You owe me 14.99!

(BOTH) Shh!

(Applause)

And now, because of its extraordinary growth

and its capacity to reinvent itself in a sustainable and ecological way,

This year the Golden Lobster goes to...

Recio Seafood!

The award is accepted by its CEO, Berta Escobar.

(They applaud)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Well...

Thank you so much.

I'm so excited.

To be honest... I don't know what to say. I do!

¡Antonio!

Hello, Ascension.

(LAUGHS)

I want to say thank you for this Golden Lobster.

I already won it once and my idiot son-in-law left it in a taxi.

But above all, I want to give thanks to life,

for giving me my wife.

Oh...

She is responsible for our growth

and that we have become what we are now:

a legal company that doesn't forgive VAT to anyone.

This one's for you, Tinín, and because the place's full of gossipy old women.

And all the gays, in harmony, looking for the freshest fish.

This award is not for Mariscos Recio,

It's for her. (CRIES)

But he deserves another award for something that is much more meritorious:

having put up with me all these years.

(BOTH CRY)

I love you, Berta.

(They applaud)

Careful, you might drop it.

"¡Cheese!".

- Don't pout, you're the Virgin Mary, damn it.

- What's wrong with that, can't the Virgin Mary be sexy?

- Why is everyone obsessed with reinterpreting the Bible?

- Mr. President, what a time! It's just that I've made peace with Berta,

and the Civil Guard officer, with breathalyzer test.

She's worth a lot, you faggot. It took you a while to realize that.

Yes. It's getting off-script.

- All the time, huh? - Oh, how tiresome, Saint Joseph.

- I want a divorce. - You haven't changed me.

- Not even once in a diaper. - You should be ashamed of yourselves.

This nativity scene isn't Christian. Oh, the old woman.

It's an inclusive nativity scene, ma'am, don't be so old-fashioned.

- And you all shut up, you're neither men nor anything.

- Effeminate! - Not effeminate, ma'am?

- Mariconazos. - ¡Oh!

I'm going to report you to the police right now!

Well, we're certainly making headlines.

I'm going to get the Three Wise Men.

- Is Ursulita with you? - No way, darling.

- I'm here, working. - Well, you haven't slept at home.

- It got away from me! - What are you saying?

You're right, I'm just like my mother.

Frustrated actress and prematurely pregnant

- with the wrong man. - I'm going to call Javi,

- He might have gone back home. - No, don't call him!

If he finds out, he'll take custody away from me. The Three Kings have arrived.

We're loaded this year. Come on, let's go.

- Where are you going? The jury will be here any minute.

- Just a minute, damn it, I have a family emergency.

Come on, darling.

- The Virgin Mary, a single mother, even more modern.

# The one that's coming. #

I bought roast beef, spider crabs, scarlet prawns, sea bream,

Iberian ham... How is it possible that nobody comes?

- Yes, the marchioness is coming. - Change of strategy.

An accident! You tell him he ran me over.

Amador's tuk-tuk, I'm between life and death.

- He'll come to see you at the hospital. - Damn!

- Why don't you just have dinner with her? - Anisakis!

My mother ate a dodgy anchovy.

He is in the operating room; they have removed three meters of his intestine.

- Are you aiming? - Yes.

(Mobile)

Victoria...

- Bruno, darling, I'm not going to your dinner.

"And so?".

I was expecting an intimate evening, just you and me sharing a Burgundy wine

while we talked about music and art,

and not a pittance from hick neighbors,

"telling bad jokes and blowing party poppers."

Have a happy Christmas Eve.

Oh! I prefer the company of my memories,

that never let me down.

"He says he's not coming." "That's better, isn't it?"

Am I going to have dinner alone?

But don't you realize that deep down

Is what Dad did romantic? How long have you been getting along?

So good with your father? Who do you think wrote to you?

Amador's letter? The GPT chat.

(CRIES) It was Dad!

The only man who truly loves you.

How's Dad?

Those are such beautiful words? He loves you so much...

So much so that he accepted that you had a lover

as long as you were happy.

It's true that we wrote to each other a lot when we were young.

He always said such lovely things to me.

Then you were born and of course... I mean... Why do you have children?

Can I come in?

At least tell me if the baby has been born yet!

Hello?

(RONCA) (CARLOTA) "Oh, oh! Here he comes!"

"He's coming!"

(Baby's cry)

Stay still, stay right there. Ah!

(Baby's cry)

Amador! What's wrong? What's wrong?

We are grandparents.

Oh, man! Another cute little thing!

¡"Next generation"!

(BOTH LAUGH)

Get out of here! What are you doing? Nothing.

A little something for grandpas, to celebrate.

You guys are really something, aren't you?

Be thankful you still have your teeth.

Amador... Well!

Am I catching you right? Not really, I've just become a grandfather.

Relax, I just came to tell you that...

I'll leave you. Oh, well, that's fine.

I mean, I'm very sad, very sad.

But it's up to you. I'll always keep you in my heart.

And I, Greit, and I.

Hey! Shall we play one last farewell game?

Goodbye, Amador.

Hey, I'm getting a divorce.

If you need a lover, I'm available.

Phew, the human brain is something else, isn't it?

When they leave you, they turn you on even more. Well, the membrane, in your case.

Attention, unemployed with no future!

You're in luck, I'm offering three jobs

Three Kings costume for the holidays. Anyone interested?

How much does he pay? 100 euros a day.

Each one? Yes, man. To be divided between three.

That's rubbish. Hey, it's only a half-day.

Twelve hours. But do you offer a contract?

No, we need to save on paper.

Hey, this is an abuse, I have two degrees.

And what good have they done you? If you're standing here bored to death,

living off the state and my taxes.

Oops! Well, there you go! Failures! Parasites!

And where am I going to get three Wise Men now?

Oh!

When did the disappearance occur?

- I don't know, I got up and he was gone.

- But have you looked properly? Maybe he wanted to play hide-and-seek.

- What hiding place? He's 12 years old.

- I think he's escaped. Teenagers take advantage.

the holidays to be a pain in the ass.

- Like air traffic controllers. - And why are you dressed like that?

- My work uniform. Focus on the facts.

- My daughter and I had a really big fight yesterday.

- Damn it, then tell me, don't leave out crucial information.

- Yes, I'm telling you. - Reason for the argument?

"That I'm a very bad mother." "That's not true."

Say that the poor girl grew up with a shitty mother figure,

And of course... But Paca got pregnant

because he raped me behind a boat,

She had the maternal instinct of the witch from Snow White.

- Wait... So what are they reporting?

- A rape? - No, the disappearance of my daughter!

- I think the rape of the boat is more serious.

That's a crime. What's the aggressor's name?

- Paca Pacheco, that bitch, was taking my money

for thirty years because he said he was a monguer.

- Who's a monguer? You? - Yes, my daughter.

- No, I'm normal! - Yes, but come on,

It doesn't matter what happened with Paca, if she's in Russia.

- Extradition is going to be complicated.

- I'll talk to Interpol. - While we're at it,

if he can pay for his sexual crimes,

I still have a trauma that...

Dad, don't make things worse. Find my daughter!

- I'm going to file two complaints: one for the rape of the boat and...

(Mobile)

- What was the other thing? - Oh, Ursulita!

Honey, where are you?

"Where are you? I've gone to get goji berries."

"And I don't have the key." "Don't move, we're coming over."

- He's home! - Oh, come on, let's go.

Let's go, I'll come back another day with Paca's stuff.

Case closed.

I'm going home, I haven't put up the tree yet.

Suck on that, Interpol.

(Elevator)

Oh! My daughter!

- Oh, my child, you gave us such a fright.

What's wrong with you?

- You were right, I've treated you terribly.

The thing about my career was an excuse, since I don't have that much talent either.

If you give me another chance,

I promise to be the mother I've never had.

- Oh, my daughter, how beautiful. - Don't cry, Mom, it's okay.

- I forgive you. - Really?

- Martina says that resentment is a self-destructive energy

which only harms ourselves more.

- There she goes again with Martina. - Now, now it really is Christmas!

- Shall we go in? I'm hungry. - Yes, come on.

Come on, let's go.

Be careful, be careful with the crown, be careful.

Oh!

Come on! Oh!

Where... Where is San José? No idea, I've taken a nap.

He left; he had an emergency.

- I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm here, I'm here.

Fermín! Three points deducted from your license for abandoning your post.

Excuse me, Mr. President, it's just that my granddaughter had run away.

Before you're a grandpa, you're a goalkeeper!

That the jury can act at any moment

And we have to rehearse with the Three Wise Men.

Ah, well, then...

On...

All black? So what?

There was only one black man. And what do you know?

What's strange is that there were white people in the East.

What was Melchor doing there, sex tourism?

I don't know. If he wants to win a prize,

He will have to respect tradition, at least some of it.

I find three Balthazars very strange. Maybe...

But that's okay, because I have another great plan!

(Bullicio)

We are at 49 Contubernio Street, where the community of owners

ha has set up an inclusive nativity scene in which the Virgin Mary is trans

and the child Jesus, a person of short stature,

which has raised hackles among the more conservative neighbors.

- This is a disgrace! They are mocking Catholics!

- Don't act like a saint, you pass by my corner a lot.

This is a mockery!

We're going to report you, you bunch of depraved people!

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!"

Juan, 8-7.

- Excuse me, we have a beautiful nativity scene,

- Over there in the back, in the courtyard. - You dyke, you're going to hell!

- Listen, lady, I have nothing to do with this.

But what is Saint Joseph doing with a mobile phone?

Don't come at me with anachronisms, or we'll lose points, okay?

Mr. President, the fruit vendor is telling me that the jury

It's just a block away. Oh, the jury!

Toñín, run, let the Three Wise Men come!

Excuse me, excuse me, you're going to film my nativity scene now, aren't you?

It's way over there. That's where the Three Wise Men are coming from!

And on scooters! They bring gold, frankincense, and myrrh,

With a zero carbon footprint! But they're all three black!

- Ma'am, race doesn't exist, it's a construct!

How original, a "whiteface".

How did he come up with this groundbreaking way

of claiming the anti-racist struggle?

Well, I have always fought for the rights of the marginalized.

I was the leader of the Justice Clowns,

I punched Zapatero with a crab, I punched Rajoy with another one,

I cut off Pablo Iglesias' ponytail.

Do you think you're going to win the award for best nativity scene?

If they don't give it to me, it's because the jury is transphobic and racist!

Please! Clear the sidewalk, come on!

(THEY SHOUT)

Mariscos Recio wishes you happy holidays!

We have two for one on lobsters!

(Christmas piano music)

# Shepherds, who are going to Bethlehem

# because I've been told the child isn't well.

# Shepherds, who are with the children

# who come from far away to see the Virgin.

# Shepherds, who are going to Bethlehem. #

Oh! Oh, shit!

Windows!

A Balmaseda by Unzeta and Téllez-Girón

going to get a broom.

Now I've really hit rock bottom. Oh!

- Ma'am! - Oh, Logi! Thank God.

- I dropped a glass. - Oh my God!

- Oh, what a Christmas feast! - Oh!

Weren't you in Valderrubias de la Degeneración?

- Yes, but I missed her. It must be Stockholm syndrome.

- And have you bought a bus ticket to get back?

- With what money? I came hitchhiking.

At my age, showing off my physique and there are still people who stop me.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, Logi, Merry Christmas.

- I love you very much. - Me too, me too.

(Mobile)

Oh! Let's see who it is.

It's Bruno, you answer. And tell him I'm unwell.

- No, it's a message from the fishmonger in the neighbors' chat.

And what will the communist want now?

"Neighbors, I, Antonio Recio Matamoros,

all-powerful president and Duke of Thrumbledorn,

I want to send you my wishes for peace this Christmas Eve."

"And also to appeal to my counterpart, the tooth puller."

to strengthen ties between communities."

"I am aware that the division has opened wounds and..."

Idiot. Fractured affections.

but we must prevent the germ..."

that discord may take root among us.

Toñín, slow down!

That's why I want to share my resounding success with you.

in the nativity scene contest with my living Holy Family

and inclusive, obviously much more original

than the nativity scene inside.

In the end we had to settle for second prize.

We have been won by a living nativity scene of achondroplastic people.

What is that? Dwarfs, my love.

I put Cucaracha first, they copied me.

But it's okay, because I'm a happy man.

That's why I'm going to brighten your sad Christmas Eve

with fresh seafood from our organic fish farm.

I'll be waiting for you all at my friend Bruno's place.

You're all invited. Merry Christmas! I love you all!

Can I leave now?

- Are you going to leave me alone? I gave you 1000 euros.

(SHOOTS)

- Well... - Merry Christmas!

(EVERYONE SPEAKS AT ONCE)

Merry Christmas, Bruno, my friend!

Andy, get the champagne out!

(They applaud)

What such? Yes!

Carlota! Cuquitos!

I thought you might be excited to meet your granddaughter.

Is it a girl? Let me introduce you to Chloe.

- Oh, please... - Oh, how tiny.

Get the hell out of here!

"I love you, Chloe." Welcome to the family!

Esteban, Esteban! Greta...

My love, forgive me.

Come on! Shall we have dinner, or what?

(ALL) Let's go!

"It's true that Christmas softens hearts."

"For one night, the residents of Contubernio 49

They forgot about the war between insiders and outsiders,

of betrayals, adulteries, insults

and the humiliations of daily life, and they shared laughter,

anecdotes and the freshest prawns."

"They didn't smell like the sea, of course, as they come from a fish farm..."

(Christmas music)

A little ham, because fish can't be eaten...

- Rebecca? - What are you doing here?

- I'm not leaving! - What do you mean you're not leaving?

- I'm not having dinner with her! - I don't feel like giving you away

I've been renting for two months, I plan to use up my contract.

- What? - You heard me!

(THEY SHOUT AT THE SAME TIME)

"For 12 and a half minutes, harmony reigned."

"It didn't last long, but it was nice."

(THEY SHOUT)

"Merry christmas".

(Christmas music)

I'm not having dinner with her.

(THEY LAUGH)

Here it comes! Here it comes! Lie down, lie down!

Amador! It's open. (They laugh)

(THEY LAUGH)

My God, what do we ask for so that we don't die?

(THEY LAUGH)

I can't hide it anymore, I like salami.

(THEY LAUGH)

¡Corten!

Damn, what a bummer.

¡Prr!

What do we do? I'm blocked. Well, stop it.

Damn, sorry, sorry.

- Oh, oh! - Come on, you can do it.

(LAUGHS)

- Many things. - There are many things.

How beautiful. Agustín!

To live.

When I get divorced, we're getting a little house in the countryside.

No, no, no. (They laugh)

With my sacred, inclusive, living family...

I'm already getting lost.