Original subtitles

Right this way.

Let's have a peek.

What did you say your name was?

Mia. Okay.

This pin's not working.

There we go.

So, what brings you in today?

I'm here for an hour -long sports massage session.

Okay, that's a good session.

Have you been here before?

No, it's my first time.

How'd you hear about us?

I'm through. We're friends. I recommended you guys.

We get some recommendations that way. Sometimes people find us online.

When was your last massage?

I don't even remember.

Okay, so it's been a while. Yeah, it's been a while.

Long time.

Do you have any specific points that we need to look at?

I think across my shoulder, like my trap, and my lower

back. Okay, let me just go ahead and walk around here for a second.

Okay.

Okay, so kind of in this area. Yeah. Right?

Mm -hmm. Yeah, there's definitely a little bit of tightness there. Yeah,

find some knots.

Yeah, we can work that out. And then kind of the side, lower back area. I'm

going to warm it back.

Okay. Yeah, like there. That's great.

Great. Yeah. That's a very important area.

I think.

It's my back.

Yeah. Yeah, backs can act up, so don't worry. We'll get you all taken care of,

okay? Okay.

What's that?

I brought my own product to use on my skin.

Okay. Yeah, and by that, it's not only mine. It's actually, I produced this

my husband, who's my business partner. You mean you make it? Yeah, we make it.

It's fair trade.

Okay, do you want me to use your product you make on you? Yeah, please.

You can keep the bottle because we make lots.

Okay. Yeah, and actually, yeah, it's organic.

It's organic.

It's produced in Africa.

Yeah. It's a little strong.

It's a little strong.

We're used to more subtle things. We have a lot of plants come in. But it's

holistic. Okay. It's good for muscle relaxation and you can...

keep that bottle after.

Okay. Because we're actually trying to find some buyers. Okay, well, let me put

it here. I'll use it on you. Okay.

But here's a towel. Go ahead and get changed.

Okay. And just call me. I'll be through the door. Just call me when you're

ready. Sure, thank you. We'll go ahead and use your product there for you.

thanks.

Ready? Okay.

Go ahead and fix the towel for you.

I'm not just here as a client necessarily, but if you guys are

interested, I can send you a... Oh, we're seriously interested.

Yeah? You are? Okay.

Yeah, absolutely. Go ahead and...

Oh, I'm sorry.

I think some of your special oil there was creeping down into your deep inner

thigh. Oh, thanks.

No problem.

Trying to make sure we get the rest of it there.

Let's get this for you.

Go here, and we'll get a towel for your head so you can be nice and comfortable.

Why don't you sit down a little bit?

Fix this for you. It's all tangled.

Go ahead and just lay your leg down.

Mm -hmm.

Get this out of the way? Mm -hmm.

So you said you had some trap areas you wanted me to hit?

Yeah. My traps are super sore.

Not going to be able to get to them with your hands up there. You know?

Okay.

I once had some trap issues just like this, and it's really the only way to...

work it out.

We had chaps there in my bag.

Yeah. No, well, some of us used to deal with capsulation issues when some of the

women come in with the implants.

So I was just making sure we did all that. That's what I was doing there.

they're new, so I guess it's okay.

Right. Plus, I mean, we have to see how your product will handle

the areola area and everything. I haven't tested.

There. So I guess that's the thing. Right. I mean, your husband doesn't want

do that because he's biased.

You know? Yeah. I guess that's kind of invalid. You need a third party, really.

And he's obviously not a massage professional like myself.

This is true.

And you're certified?

Of course I'm certified.

So is your lotion in a bunch of places? Or is it kind of like a starting out

point for you?

So we're at some health food places right now. We're trying to get them in

at... Right.

I mean, a health food place is great, but it's not really going to get you

there, right? Yeah, but it's not in use. It's not, you know, on a spa menu or

anything. Right. We're trying to get there.

Right. No, I get it. Yeah.

You really won't in here.

Well, this is the best spa, and you guys are all very excited.

Yeah.

I kind of see where you're going with this. Like, it seems like we're really

working towards an agreement and good arrangement for each other, right? I

so. I really, I hope that, like, I'm getting a good sense of this place. You

guys are super professional.

Right. And you move a lot of products.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah. I think it'd be totally feasible for us to work something out. Yeah, I

think so, too. I mean, you're going to get what you need. I'm going to get what

I need. Right? Oh, my gosh. It's like teamwork, you know? Yeah, they're going

be so happy. They're going to be really happy. Yeah.

Is that part of a sports massage?

Well, that's part of our agreement.

What do you mean?

You're funny. The agreement we're talking about, you know, where I get

need, you get what you need.

I've just been trying to sell my product.

Right. And you need to be sold. You need to be in our spa.

Right. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. So you need something, right?

Mm -hmm.

Like, almost a favor, really.

Because you don't know anybody here. You know me.

I guess.

I mean, you paid.

Basically, you paid for a sales pitch. More than God, really. I mean, come on.

Let's be honest. Yeah, we're splitting hair.

Yeah, we're splitting hair.

But I can't help you for nothing. I mean, that's not fair to everybody else.

what are we talking about?

I just... There's certain things that I like.

From attractive women, and you're an attractive woman, and I'm thinking you

could help me, and I can help you with your product.

And yeah, I mean, think about how happy this is going to make your husband.

What? How would this make my husband happy? Well, I'm sorry, I'm just getting

the wash off my hands. What would make my husband happy?

Excuse me?

Oh, being able to go back and tell him that you sold product, you know? I mean,

how much have you sold this month?

It's still... Yeah, exactly. Nothing.

Okay.

I'm not saying he's a loser, but I'm saying that you could be a winner.

I'm just being positive, you know? Yeah. I mean, he's at home making the

product, you're here selling the product, and I'm buying the product.

I really like it. I mean, outside of the horrible smell and, you know,

everything else... Nothing can be changed.

Well, anything can be changed.

This situation can be changed right now from a, I don't know, it's a, yeah, this

sounds like a great idea to me.

So you want me to...

Close the deal is what you're saying?

Listen, I'm not a salesperson. I'm just a professional in the food.

That's your department.

Is there someone here that manages your product?

Oh, like the one in charge of... Yeah, so it's all above board. Of course. We

don't want to confuse things, right? One sec. Yeah, absolutely. Okay.

Right.

How are you? I'm Ryan.

I'm in charge of the product purchase facility.

It's you.

It's me.

I know, right? Yeah, I'm in charge. But we want to do it above board.

You're right. So this is me speaking to you as the person who brought it. Okay,

then I guess I'm speaking to you as the person selling it. Hello, I am Mia.

Right.

Wow, you're really kind of coming on to me here. You really want to make this a

deal.

Ryan told me you were kind of, yeah.

Uh -huh.

I'm interested in selling my product to your spa so you guys can regularly use

it. Right.

Well, um, we have to have some type of massage oils, right? So, I don't see why

we can't have yours.

May as well be mine.

Yeah, right?

Yeah. Oh, my God. I don't want to get this on your panties all month. Clearly.

Yeah. Right.

I mean...

Don't want to ruin anything for you, you know. No. Go ahead and just... Oh!

Right there like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Don't tell me you lean back, it makes it harder for me to access it, so...

Teamwork, right? That's what we said, yeah. Teamwork makes teamwork. We're

working together.

Mm -hmm.

Your husband...

I'll tell you what.

And you can see you now out here selling that product.

I'm just

going to have a little massage.

You know

what?

You should make massage a little product, but it smells like this.

It's kind of the same thing, right?

I suppose.

How's your husband like that?

Oh, he wouldn't know.

Oh.

That covers it?

Yeah, that covers it for you. Yeah, absolutely.

I didn't mean by that.

Well, that was for you.

Wait. That was for you. I did that for you. You're welcome.

Watch your hand there.

So now it's an old partnership.

My turn.

So this is like pro quo?

Right, yeah.

Come here.

And I can tell you want to.

I can tell you want to.

Open up your mouth. Do you know how to kiss?

You're sipping on it and I can feel it.

It's the tension.

Did you want me to stop?

Oh, you wanted to sell a product. Wait, did you? I can't remember.

I will do what is necessary to move my product.

Don't talk like a robot. That's weird.

I want you to do me a favor. I want you to kiss every ab.

My abs. Your abs?

Yeah. I'm the only guy here.

Okay.

I do. I do. I do.

I'll tell you what, I will buy a bottle, nay, a case, for every ad that you

kiss.

No bullshit?

No bullshit.

We're kissing, of course.

There

you

go.

See those... I hate that we're just piling up.

You know how pants work?

I'm pretty sure I do.

Yeah, I bet you do.

Teach that in Africa.

I'm from Africa.

I guess it doesn't matter at this point. It's not like we're getting married.

We're just really attracted to each other.

This is a business deal. Yeah, business and pleasure.

Apparently.

Don't be rude, I'm sorry.

Don't worry, I got your hair.

One more strong, lovely kiss.

Are you talking to it? No.

Oh. I thought you wanted it so bad.

There you

go. Oh!

Whoa! Yeah,

there you go.

Bit of love.

You

know

what really gets me going, too?

What? Why don't you kind of straddle me a little bit? That way I can see your

full body. You've got a great body.

You should really show it off to me.

I mean, that's one of the reasons why you have it, right? Show it off to guys?

Yeah.

I paid for them.

Really? Yep.

Straddle, straddle.

Yeah, but with your hand on the top.

This is turning you on, I can tell.

Yes. Yes?

Are

you

getting turned on?

Are you going to come again?

You've already come, what, a couple times at least, I feel like.

I don't know, buddy.

That's a really good point.

I don't know your body. Well, if I should. I mean, if we're going to be

together. I'm just telling you things. Right. No, that's a great point. Come

here.

I mean, if I want to know your body, right?

Well, if you only want a way to really know somebody, it's to fuck them.

What?

Oh, yeah.

My husband.

Your husband?

Well, we're not going to tell him. That's a horrible idea.

You're not going to sell product that way.

People fuck you, then tell your husband who makes the product?

That's just a bad idea.

Tears of joy, right?

face. No.

Okay, well.

No. I mean.

This is not my face. Yeah, that's okay, but I mean, I'm probably, it's gonna

cost you a couple cases.

You know, two cases per face. That's kind of the...

Now, obviously, I can't guarantee that we're going to buy it, obviously.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's okay.

But... What?

Why? I can't guarantee that we're going to buy it. I've got to talk to people.

You're the sales guy.

You, like, did that thing.

I thought we were above board. I thought we had a deal.

Oh,

yeah. Well, I mean...

I think of myself as a salesman in this room. I mean, I like to think of myself

as a lot of things in this room. I'm like a god.

I'm a fucking god in this room, right?

I'm sure that as a god you have no problem with my husband speaking with

then. You know what? That's a great fucking idea. Here, I'll tell you what.

want you to look in that camera and I want you to tell your husband that

coming home and you're going to come meet him and meet the god and meet me

we'll show the footage.

There are cameras in this fucking massage parlor.

Of course. I like to film my shit.

It's awesome.

Go home and jerk off to it. Sometimes I just watch it and just critique it.

But, yeah. So, why don't you rethink that plan, okay? And get dressed because

I've got another appointment.

And take that because that smells.

And I appreciate everything you offered.

It was fantastic.

I'm so sorry. That was...