All language subtitles for The.Last.Drive-In.with.Joe.Bob.Briggs.S37E02.Oddity.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BFM_track3_[eng]

-Okay, Darcy,

we are going to stoke the
ceremonial fires of Beltane now.

-Well, that sounds fun
and dangerous.

Who are you supposed to be?

Just what?
-Darcy, you're Irish.

You should recognize
the garb of an Olam.

-I don't think they taught
that in Catholic school.

-It's a Druid scholar.

It's like a sacristan
or a verger.

Only cooler.

The main reason being
you get to light the bonfire.

-All right.

Are you about
to light the bonfire?

-Two bonfires,
and then we drive the cattle

between the bonfires,
we sacrifice a cow.

-Do we have a cow?

-Well, we'll use
a plush toy cow or something.

-Okay.

-And then I say
-some ritual invocations

about the fires of Baal.

And I pray for the fullness
of their udders.

-The fullness?
-Of the udders.

Some of them are dairy cows so
the udders are what's important.

-I feel like I liked it better
when we were just doing

witches night.

-Well, we're still doing
witches night.

In fact, as you know, we have
two Irish movies tonight.

And the second one stars
a witch named Darcy.

-Yeah!
-And that's why I'm doing this.

And I'll throw in some praise

for all the horror films
coming out of Ireland lately,

partly because the Irish are
great storytellers,

partly because the Oireachtas
passed some tax credits

that make it really cheap
to shoot movies in Ireland.

-Well, I'm surprised
you know what the Oireachtas is.

-I do. God bless the Irish.

It's like the legislature
or something.

Well, when I say God bless,

I don't mean the God,
the Irish god God,

because we're doing Beltane.

So it can't be
the Christian God,

but it's all the gods
that they used to worship.

All those gods bless the Irish,
the gods,

Lugh and Brigid and the Dagda
and Aine and Manannan and Nuada,

all them gods.

-Okay,
so why are you doing this?

-Especially Lugh. Lugh.
L-U-G-H.

Lugh of the long arm.
Lugh of the long arm.

Because he's the Celtic god
of storytelling.

-Okay, well, let's party.

-Lugh slingshotted a stone
through the eye of Balor.

-Oh, that is a good horror
image.

-Balor was Lugh's grandpa,

but he was the king
of the Fomorians,

and the Fomorians
were dedicated to chaos,

so Lugh had to put
everything in order.

-A three act structure,
I got it.

-You know,
we've been spending all this

time on German people trying

to figure out the traditions
in Saxony.

But the Germans
that immigrated to America,

they didn't even bother
with Walpurgisnacht.

They didn't even tell us
about it.

They didn't bring us anything
to work with.

They're all spread out
across the country,

ignoring their
ancestral traditions.

I'm thinking Irish immigrants
give us a much better shot

at Beltane, because
when the Irish came over here,

they remained Irish, right?

They didn't change.
They stick together.

They run the fire department,
you know.

They open pubs.

Where's the biggest
Saint Patrick's Day parade?

It ain't in Dublin.

You know, we should search
through Druid history

and make those connections
with the Irish.

That will eventually make
Witches Night

an American reality.

That's my plan.

-Wow, that sounds a little
complicated,

but I'm repping the Irish blood,
so I feel like we can do it.

-Okay.
-Okay.

-I'm lighting the fires
of Uisneach.

They actually do this
on May Day.

They go to the hill of Uisneach,
and they light the fire

of Beltane, but they don't
really do it right, so.

-All right, so you're saying
that you know better

how to light the fire
on that sacred hill?

-Yes, I do.

-Okay.

But we're getting pretty far
from Witches night,

don't you think?
-No.

-Yes.

-Look.
-What?

-Why did you
Irish people come to America?

You ran out of potatoes, right?

And then what happened?
You ran out of potatoes?

-Something like that.

-Okay, but, you know,
there were potato eaters.

They loved potatoes.
That's all they ate.

Potatoes.

If they just continue to do
the Druid ritual of Beltane

in the proper manner, they would
have been feasting on beef.

Because Beltane is all
about cattle.

You run all the cattle
between the two hills

on the two highest peaks
in Uisneach,

and that makes the cattle strong
and fertile

and massive milk pumpers.

And instead they had them
saying, whoops, no more

potatoes,
have to emigrate to America.

They didn't even say, okay,
we'll eat radishes and lettuce,

much less let's butcher a pig.

They just got on the boat.

Somebody said, you know,
somebody came along --

You know what happened?

-What?
-Some German or something

came along and sold them
on one of those paleo diet fads.

You know, all you need
is potatoes.

Don't eat anything else.
Just potatoes.

In other words, they lost touch
with their Celtic rituals.

And that led to, "What's
for dinner, Mama? Potatoes."

What's for dessert?
Sweet potatoes.

-I don't think you
should lecture on this

in Dublin, just so you know.

-No, I'm glad they came here.

They're happy here.

I'm surprised they didn't
immigrate to Idaho, though.

But now I want to go into
the Irish community

and get back
on the Beltane train,

because the German Americans
are not helping us at all.

-You're very strange, man.

-I know, but let's
watch the movie about Darcy,

the Irish witch.

-I knew you were gonna
bring that one up.

-Witch Darcy watching
Witch Darcy.

Who can resist that show?

-No one.

Because they know
that you've been drinking

and you're holding a torch.

It's like watching
a tightrope walker.

-Are you saying I'm incapable
of wielding this torch properly?

-I'm just saying
you're pretty deep

into that beer and that mead.

-And now I'm getting
deep into fire.

-Oh, that's good.

-Because the rest
of this night is about fire,

Darcy, fire on the outside,
fire on the inside.

We haven't even done shots yet.

That's when you really
get into fire.

-Then let's get busy.

Three kinds of alcohol
and a massive fire pit.

What could possibly go wrong?
-"Oddity."

"Oddity" is the name
of our second movie tonight,

and it's a sensitive story
of a blind witch

whose sister gets murdered
by a psycho,

so she starts using psychometry
to find out just exactly

how that happened.

It's a little bit slasher, a
little bit psychological horror,

a little bit haunted house
movie, a little bit ghost story.

And it harkens back
to the original horror movies

from the silent era,
the Golem movies.

And I know, sure, we've seen
all those elements before,

but have we seen them
with antique shop voodoo?

I think not,

so let's look at those
drive in totals and get started.

We have five dead bodies,
one wooden beast, two ghosts,

head stomping with gooey result.

Cannibalism,
artificial eyeball rolls.

Toe chomping, compound fracture.

One poorly managed insane
asylum.

Hammer murder.
Haunted house.

Curio shop fu. Psychometry fu.
Trap door fu.

Golem fu.
Hannibal Lecter mask fu.

Drive In Academy Award
nominations for Carolyn Bracken

in a dual role as the dead nanny
who says, "We are connected."

And the blind but deadly Darcy,
who says,

"I have no idea what
you look like,

but you sound stupid."

Gwilym Lee
as the widower psychiatrist

who says, "I have to listen to
crazy things all night at work,

I don't need to hear it
when I come home."

Steve Wall as the creepy orderly
who says,

"What if the motive was sexual?"

And Damian McCarthy,

the writer-director,
for putting together a mashup

of every horror genre
that manages to be both down

and dirty
and elevated at the same time.

And for creating a drive in
movie in a nation

that lost its only drive in
in 2019.

Four stars.
Joe Bob says check it out.

-I feel like the Irish would
appreciate what we do here.

-I don't know.

Their only drive in,
Movie Junction,

two screens, 200 car capacity,
was located in the same county

where they made this movie,
and it went out of business.

-I think the climate's
too cold

for year round drive ins there.

-It's because they
stopped making cars.

You know,
they had a great car.

The Irish had a great car
in the '50s called the Shamrock,

similar to a T-Bird.

-I don't think
I've ever ridden in a Shamrock.

-Well, you couldn't, because
they only made 10 of them,

but...

-Oh, wow, really?
-Went out of business.

Don't laugh.
Eight of them are still running.

-That's amazing.
-If you own a 1959 Shamrock,

you would have been the
coolest guy at Movie Junction.

-I was not expecting
all this Irish love tonight.

-The Irish are our friends.

They're going to lead us back
to the true Beltane traditions.

And by this time next year,

America will
be walpurgisnachting

all over the place.

-The Irish have a saying
for that.

-And what's that saying?

-Drunk on dreams.

-Yes, I am.
Drunk on mead and beer.

-And dreams.
-And dreams.

♪ I'm just so tired ♪

♪ Baby, I can't even
run for cover ♪

♪ But there's a river,
there's a river ♪

♪ I'm gonna jump in ♪

♪ Sweet water gonna take this
weight I've been shouldering ♪

♪ And there's a river,
there's a river ♪

♪ Oh, found me out ♪

♪ Sweet love, sweet love ♪

♪ Won't you show me
what you're all about? ♪

♪ Step up to the bank
and strip ♪

♪ Swallow your stone
and dive into the heart of it ♪

♪ Let your body go ♪

♪ Sink on down ♪

♪ Out of time and space ♪

♪ Feel the mana all around ♪

♪ Sweet water gonna take this
weight I've been shouldering ♪

♪ And there's a river,
there's a river ♪

♪ Oh, found me out ♪

♪ Sweet love, sweet love ♪

♪ Won't you show me
what you're all... ♪

-What do you think
you're doing?

Get back inside.

-Dr. Timmis.
-Well, hello, Dr. Timmis.

It's Mrs. Timmis here.

-I thought you were staying
at the house tonight.

-I am. That's where
I'm calling you from.

I found a signal.
-Where?

-Upstairs at the, uh,
end of the walkway.

-Are you still staying
out there tonight?

-Yeah. I'm going to drive into
the village in a little while

for some dinner,
and then I'm just going to

keep at it until
I get tired, really.

-Okay.

Well, don't work too late.

-Oh, um, maybe we can
invite my sister

for dinner tomorrow evening?

I'm kind of worried about her.

-Uh, Darcy can take
care of herself.

-She's meant to have
regular check-ups

and she just gets mad
when I ask her.

-Well, do you want me to ask?

I am a doctor.
-Would you?

-Yeah, of course.
I can be the villain.

-Well, you're my hero.

-I'd better get
back to it here.

I'll see you in the morning.

-Okay. I love you.

-Love you.

-Come on.

Let's stretch our legs,
shall we?

-Hello.
You've reached Darcy Odello.

Please leave a message
after the beep.

-Hey, guess what.

We are connected.

-Could you open the door?

-What do you want?

-You're in trouble.

I saw you come out of the house
just now.

You went to the car
to get something.

You left this door
open behind you.

Somebody went inside.

-What?

-I saw you go to your car,
and you left the door open.

Somebody slipped inside.
They're in there now.

-Well, I didn't see anyone.
-I know that.

Your back was turned.

-What are you doing
standing outside my house?

My husband's going
to be back any minute.

-Dr. Timmis works nights.

-Oh, um...

Are you a-a patient
of-- of Ted's?

-I heard them in the wall,

and I came here,
and I saw someone.

Would you just open the door?

-Okay.
-I'm trying to help you.

-Is there someone here?

-They're not gonna answer you.

-Is there someone in here?

There's nobody in here
except me,

and-- and
you've made a mistake.

And I'd, uh-- I'd really
like you to leave now, please.

If you don't,
I'm going to call the police.

-Yeah. Okay. Yeah, call them.

Call them!

-Well, I-I can't find my phone.
It was in my car.

Do you have a phone?
-No.

-Do you-- do you
really think you saw someone?

-I am telling you that there
is someone in there with you.

-If I open the door,
what are you going to do?

-I'll-- I'll-- I'll
look around.

-And if you don't see anyone?

-I'll leave.

Yeah. Good.

♪ You never knew ♪

♪ How it would feel ♪

♪ To be left all alone ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know,
now you know, oh ♪

♪ Now that you're
on your own, oh ♪

♪ You broke my heart ♪

♪ Now someone else ♪

♪ Has thrown
your love in the sea ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know,
now you know, oh ♪

♪ What you did to me ♪

♪ While you're drying
those teardrops ♪

-You can look around,
but please don't touch anything.

If you see something you like,
just let me know.

And if you're thinking
of stealing something,

you should know that
every item in here is cursed.

Curses are lifted
at the time of purchase.

-Cursed?

-That's right.

-Does that really deter anyone
from shoplifting?

Apart from the superstitious.

-You'd be surprised how many
stolen items are returned to me.

For those lucky enough
to figure out

where their sudden bad luck
is coming from.

-Your mother would have
been proud of you, Darcy.

-Ted.

-Oh.

-It's been a while, Ted.

-I know. I'm sorry.

I've been trying to settle
back into things.

How's business?

-It's good.

-What were you doing there?
You seemed very focused on that.

-Oh. This is, uh...

...one of the more
interesting items that has been

brought to the store
in quite a while.

-Oh, yeah? Interesting how?

-Well, it's haunted.

-Really? What do you mean?

-There was a man,

not a very pleasant one,
who spent most of his life

working as a bellboy in a hotel.

And one night, he was showing
a drunk guest to his room,

and the guest
shoved him down the stairs

and-- and he broke his neck
and he died in the fall.

And a few days later,
the receptionist rang the bell

to summon the new bellboy.

Only, who did she see
running towards her

not looking very happy?

-Are you telling me that
if you ring that bell,

a dead bellboy
will come running?

Well, ring it.
Let's see what happens.

-It's not something
to be played with, Ted.

Seeing as the last two people
who rang this bell

were found dead.

-Okay.

-Dani used to say
that one of her goals

was to open
that closed mind of yours.

-She tried. I'm a doctor.
Science and logic.

-Okay.

-I have something
for you, Darcy.

Declan Barrett died last week.

Heart attack.

-How do I know that name?

-He was in the halfway house
with Olin Boole

the night he was killed.

They found it...

clearing out his belongings.

-You found it?

-It's here.
I have it here in my hand.

That's it. That's all
that's left of him.

My impulse was to crush it
under my shoe,

but then I remembered
you wanted it.

He should never have
been discharged.

He was dangerous.
I should have seen it.

-It wasn't your fault, Ted.

-Why do you want it?

-He took my sister's life.

I want to see
what was going through his mind

when he was dying.

Was there any regret or...

was there only fear?

Thank you.
-You're welcome.

I should get going.

-Okay.

Maybe you could visit
some night for a bite to eat?

It will be a year
next week, and...

I feel like talking about her.

-Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that.

Um, maybe in
a week or two, though.

We're still trying to get
settled in at the house,

make it a bit more habitable.

-We?

-Yana, my girlfriend.

-You've met someone already?

-Well, I knew Yana
from the hospital.

She's a pharmaceutical
rep there.

When Dani died...
she was there for me.

Um, maybe you could come
and visit us...

if you think you're ready
to go back out there.

-M-Maybe.

-It was good to see you, Darcy.

Goodbye.

-Message received
11 months, 3 weeks, 1 day ago.

-Hey, guess what.

We are connected.

I found a signal.
Now, it's not ideal.

It's only in one exact spot,

but, uh, maybe we can
boost the signal?

I don't know. I don't know
how those things work.

I put the camera on a time
lapse, like you suggested,

but so far,
all I've captured are orbs.

I'd have thought
an old house like this

would have at least one ghost
roaming around,

but maybe the renovation work
scared them off.

Ted's working hard
all the time.

He's off tomorrow night,

so the three of us
could have dinner, if you like.

And, uh...

...that's about it here.

I'm looking forward
to seeing you.

I miss you.

Okay. See you then.

-Okay, Witch Darcy?
-Yes?

-What do you think
of Witch Darcy?

-I think she's cool.

-Do you think you can do that,

what she does, take inanimate
objects like that glass eye

and wave your hand over it
and see into the past?

-Oh, well, I've never done it,
but I wouldn't rule it out.

-You have lots of knickknacks
from junk stores in your house?

-I do.

-Okay, well, the writer-director
of this movie,

Damian McCarthy, is one of those
guys who likes to go antiquing.

You know, ask me what I think
of antiquing.

-Oh, I already know
what you think of antiquing.

-Yeah. Cut my legs off
so I can't do it anymore.

There's nothing worse
than a relative

or a girlfriend or boyfriend

who's fascinated with
antique shops and curio shops

because it takes a minimum
of three hours

just to look at everything
in one shop.

You probably don't
even have those in LA.

-Oh, they do,

but I think we focus more on
like the flea market cities.

-Yeah, antiquing is
a big East Coast thing.

In Texas,
we just call them junk stores.

Anyway, Damian McCarthy is
an electrician turned filmmaker.

You don't hear that often.
From Cork,

which is the second largest city
in Ireland.

Although he always makes
it clear he's from West Cork,

and I get the impression --
I've never been there --

I get the impression that
West Cork is the hippie area.

You know, musicians,
arts and crafts,

cutesy shops, vegan restaurants,

picturesque fishing villages,
basically

Marin County, California,

but with
more interesting accents.

And Damian McCarthy is from
one of those picturesque towns

in West Cork,
a town called Bantry.

And looming over Bantry Bay
is Bantry House,

an enormous mansion we see
at the beginning of the film,

and most of the movie
takes place inside Bantry House

because the filmmaker is
friends with the White family

who have lived there since,
listen to this, 1731,

when they were the Earls
of Bantry, and Damian McCarthy

is on record saying
the location is the movie.

If he didn't have
that location,

he would never have written
the movie.

-It's a very impressive
building.

-And spooky building, right?
-Definitely spooky.

And that opening scene is
amazing.

-Yeah, because we get hooked
right away with the old idea

that someone is already
inside your house, right?

You just don't know where.

And the actress playing Dani
is Carolyn Bracken,

successful Irish actress
from County Tipperary,

which is a couple of hours
away from Bantry.

Everything in Ireland
is a couple of hours away.

And if you didn't notice
it right away

because I didn't notice
it right away,

she's also playing
the sister of Dani,

the blind curio shop owner
Darcy,

because she looks
totally different.

This movie, and especially
Carolyn Bracken's performance,

wowed the crowds at
the South by Southwest Festival

in Austin in 2024,
won all the audience awards.

The guy with the glass eye in
the opening scene is

Tadgh Murphy.

T-A-D-G-H is his name.

Todd Hug. Todd Hug Murphy.

-Todd Hug?
Old Todd Hug Murphy

He landed the role partly
because he has a glass eye.

He lost his right eye
at the age of 13

when he was accidentally hit
by an arrow.

But he's apparently used that
to his advantage

because he got rave reviews
for starring

in a UK TV series called
"Black Sails",

playing Ned Low, the savage
pirate of the early 1700s.

He was also in one
of Damian McCarthy's

early short films called
"How Olin Lost His Eye",

which has nothing
to do with this movie even

though his character has
the same name.

Olin Boole in this movie.

Which is an Irish thing,
I guess.

We don't understand it.

It's an Irish -- They do that.
-I understand it.

-Okay, if you understand,
why is there a short film called

"How Olin Lost his Eye"
with the same guy

who lost his eye in this movie,

playing a character
with the same name,

but the stories don't have
anything to do with each other?

-It's an Irish thing.
You wouldn't get it.

Don't worry about it.

-Okay.

Well, anyway,
before we go back to the movie,

can I mention one
more Celtic god

that would have been dancing

around the Beltane bonfire
in old Ireland?

You know, before
they started eating potatoes.

-Yes. Please do.
-Actually

it's a goddess,
the goddess Brigid.

-Oh. Saint Brigid.
-See, you know

the Catholic versions of this
stuff.

No, not Saint Brigid.

The Catholic Church
took Brigid over,

just like they took
over Beltane in Germany,

where they renamed it
Walpurgisnacht

after Saint Walpurga.

No, Brigid is
the Celtic fertility goddess

representing life giving power,

protection of women, creativity,
healing, medicine, poetry.

But the most important thing,
she embodies fire.

When you encounter Brigid,
you get changed by her fire.

She's the daughter
of the father God, the Dagda.

But you already know that.

-Yeah, but you got
the wrong date on her.

-What do you mean?

-Brigid is February
at the Festival of Imbolc.

-Really?
-Yeah.

-Well, dang, Darcy.
-She's pre-spring.

She starts warming stuff
up early for us.

-Well, apparently Darcy
in the movie

has the spirit of Brigid
animating her

Now that she's seen
something through the aura

of Olin Boole's glass eye.

And she's apparently got
something in that big wooden box

to help her take care of it.

Roll the movie.

Just how Irish are you, Darcy?

-What?

I have Irish pale skin,
if that's what you mean.

-Irish are all pale?

-Generally, yeah.
-From the all potato diet maybe?

-No, from the northern
latitudes.

-Well, I know all about that
because I'm from Scotland,

and we don't tan either.

That's why they call
us rednecks.

-I know, I've heard.

It's a complicated story.
-Why do you say that?

-Well, because I've heard
your whole complicated history

of the term redneck in
your live show many, many times.

-Yeah, well,
we're not going to go there.

-Oh, my God, thank you.

-I don't want to talk
about that.

-...more dramatic terms,

the storm has
given back an ugly amount,

Bringing with them rain
and gusty easterly winds.

Nightfall, we'll see
the high possibility of

weather-related power outages

in the more exposed
rural areas of the Southwest.

But providers have said
such outages...

-Hey.

How was your day?

-Long.

-You look tired.

-Well, I didn't
sleep last night.

-Yana.

-I keep telling you,

I don't sleep
when I'm here alone,

and because you're
still working nights,

I'm here alone all the time.

-I know.

Dr. Crotty
is going to retire soon,

and then
I'll have regular hours.

New camera?

-I found it clearing out
the store the other day.

It's your wife's.

-That was Dani's?

-There's a lot of photos
of the two of you.

I don't know
if you want to keep it or--

-No, it's all right

-It's okay, Ted.

It would be weird if you didn't
want to keep some memory of her.

-Okay. Okay, yeah.

Maybe you could store it
somewhere safe for a while.

-Take a look
at these photos I took.

-What-- What am I looking at?

-Look at this one.

You don't see her?

-Who?

-Well, it's Dani's camera.

There's going to be
pictures of her on it.

-I took these two nights ago.

-Well, then it's double exposure
or whatever you call it.

-Okay.

Last night,
when I was going to bed...

-Yana...

I have to listen to crazy things
all night at work.

I don't need to hear it
when I come home.

-Don't call me crazy.

I'm just telling you what I saw.

-Dani's ghost?

-No. No, obviously not.

But, clearly, the lack of sleep
is starting to affect me,

which is why I want us
to move back to my apartment

until you start
working regular hours.

-Fine.
If that'll make you happy.

I don't like leaving you
out here on your own either.

-Then we're all good?

-But just to be clear,

my dead wife
is not haunting this house.

-I know. I'm sorry.

-You sound like her sister--
with ghosts and nonsense.

-Speaking of her sister...

It came today
while you were asleep.

Dani's sister sent it.

-What's in it?

-I don't know. It's locked.

-Maybe she's inside it.

-No, she's outside.

-What?

What's she doing here?

Darcy. Hello.

-Ted.

I'd forgotten how far out
this place is.

-Um... come in.

-Maybe you could guide me?

-A step here.
-Thank you.

-Darcy, this is Yana.

Yana, Darcy.

-It's-- it's nice to meet you.

-Hello.

-Uh, thank you for having me.

-Well, if I'd known
you were calling,

I would have been ready.

-Ted didn't mention
he invited me?

-Uh, well, to be honest, Darcy,

I didn't know
you were coming either.

When did I invite you?

-Last week.

When you came to the store,

you said I should visit
on Dani's anniversary.

-Oh, I-- Okay. I'm sorry.

If I said that,
I meant we'd arrange

a night when we'd both be home.

-Are you not home now?

-Well, uh, no.
I-I'm on my way to work,

and Yana is staying
in the city tonight.

-Well, I'm here now.
Can you call in sick?

-No.
I have people counting on me.

We're short-staffed as it is.

-And I've got plans
in the city, so...

-I'm so sorry, Darcy. I can...

I can drop you off on my way.

-I'm here now.

I'd like to stay,
if that's alright.

-But we won't be here.

-That's alright.

-Well, I...

Fine.

Yeah, I suppose
that would be fine.

I don't know.

Oh.

Your trunk arrived.

What's in it?

-I'll see if we have
some extra blankets.

-Have I seen this before?

-It was my mother's.

-And you want me to have it?

-Yes.

-Are you sure?
I mean, if it was your mum's.

-She would be happy to know
I sent it here.

-Right.

Well, thank you.
That's very, very generous.

Can you show me
where the bathroom is, please?

-Of course.

-Thank you.

-Yeah, sorry again
for the mix-up.

I feel bad leaving you here
on your own.

Will you be alright?

-Don't worry about me.

-Well, you know,
I do sometimes.

Think I've inherited it
from Dani.

How is everything
with your health?

-Why?
-No, you seem good.

It's just anything
with the brain and cancer,

it's something
to keep a close eye on.

-I had a check up recently,
and all good.

-Good, good.
That puts my mind at ease.

Okay, we're here.

I'll see you in the morning.

-Yes, I'll-- I'll see you then.

-What are you doing,
telling her she can stay?

I don't want her here.
-What do you want me to do?

It's not my fault
she can't take a hint.

-Is it okay leaving her here
on her own?

-Well, I'd rather you
stayed here with her,

but I get the feeling that's
not going to happen, so...

-It's not.
-Well, there you are, then.

She says she just
wants to be here.

So what's the harm?

-And what the fuck
is that thing?

Why would she want us
to have that?

-I have no idea.

We'll get rid of it
as soon as she's gone.

I have to go.

-Can you not wait
until I leave?

-I'm already late.

Just say goodbye,
finish packing, and go.

I'll see you in the morning.

-Did you know
the traditional gift

to give a couple on their
fifth wedding anniversary

is something made of wood?

-Ted and I aren't married.

-For my parent's
fifth wedding anniversary,

a witch my mother knew
gave her that.

It's very rare.

-Well, Ted and I aren't
married yet,

so maybe you should
take it back.

-Don't you like it?
-No.

I find it a bizarre present
to give to someone.

-Okay, Darcy.

It's time.
-Yes.

It is time
for me to give my usual lecture

about the slow burn.

-No,
I mean, it is a slow burn,

I admit that, but all this stuff
connects up at the end.

It's hard to even talk about
this movie without doing

spoilers, because
every little moment contributes

to the conclusion of it.

No, it's time
for the third nutrient

in any Witches Night
celebration.

It's time for shots!

-Yeah. Shots!
-The bonfire is roaring.

-Where?
-I'll show you in a minute.

-Okay. Wait.

You started the bonfire
without me?

-Well, we actually
got shut down outside

by the Coweta County
Fire Rescue chief in Newnan.

But I don't want to go into it.

-Don't they like the show?

-They don't like open burns
in the middle of pines,

oaks, maples and sweetgums.

-Please do not tell me

that you explain Witches Night
to the fire chief.

-I told him I was
Order of the Arrow,

and so I knew what I was doing,
but...

-And he was not impressed
by that?

-Well, yeah. He told me what
to do with my arrow.

But anyway, we're
going to go with what we got.

So...
-And this is what we got.

-This is all we got.

But once we start the shots,
you won't care anyway.

-Oh, my God. You've been talking
about the shots all night.

Let's do it.

-Yes, Darcy, this part is
not optional.

This is
when everything gets weird.

This is when people start
losing their clothes

and running off into the woods
and dancing like rabid weasels.

The fire is burning
away all external obstacles,

and the shots are burning
away all internal obstacles.

This is literally the gateway to
partying like a jungle animal.

And the way you do that

is you use what is known
today as an herbal liqueur,

what used to be called fire
water, lightning in a bottle,

or my own preferred term,
voluntary brain damage.

-I am so ready.

-See this bad boy?
-Yes.

-Small but powerful.
Underberg.

Let me tell you what
a badass shot this is.

This is made in a secret high
security production facility

in the small town of
Rheinberg, Germany,

using herbs from 43 countries,
not just 43 herbs,

at least 42 imported herbs.

And it's been matured
in Slovenian oak barrels

the exact same way since 1846.

Members of the Underberg family

would commit seppuku
with a flamethrower

rather than tell you
what's in this or how it's made.

If you're going to do
one shot on Walpurgisnacht,

make it Underberg.

It counts for 10 shots
of anything else,

and I know a lot of our viewers
who went to the trouble

to get the Witches Night menu
many weeks ago

are ready to kick back with it
at home.

And I also gave the mutants
a lazy option for those

who can't handle the Underberg
jolt to the cerebellum.

We have this one
from Karlovy Vary.

The spa town in
the Czech Republic, Becherovka.

Uses a lot of cinnamon,

clove, warm spices so that it
will sort of melt into your body

and gradually turn you
into a maniac.

And then for the slackers
in the audience,

I did approve a third option.

-No way. No way.

-Yes. It's German.

It's German.
It's got 56 herbs in it.

-And it's used by like frat boys
to get drunk really fast.

-Yeah. That too.
Jagermeister.

-Whoo-hoo!

Supposedly
that it has deer blood in it,

so I cannot partake.

-Well, that's a myth, Darcy.
That is an urban legend.

-You don't know that.

-Well, I was in Sigma Nu
for about a month, I know that.

-You know nothing.

-Just do the Underberg, and
we will be one with the bonfire.

-Only we don't have a bonfire.

-We have a Shudder
style bonfire.

Okay, I have poured two.
Two Underbergs.

Do you know how much this costs?

Put that down.
We should say something.

We should say something
as we do this.

-Okay.
-What should we say?

-Prost.

-What?
-Prost!

That's what you say
when you do a German shot.

-Well, wait a minute.

What do you say
when you do an Irish shot?

-Sláinte!

-I'm going with Sláinte. I like
Sláinte better than Prost.

Are you sure you know
this stuff?

-No. Sláinte!

-All right.

-It's probably right.
-Ready?

Sláinte!
-Sláinte! Whoo! Sláinte!

-You okay there, JB?

-Back to the movie.
-Sláinte!

-Let's just do all three.

-Are you suicidal? No, no.

-Sláinte
-Because this is the last

Walpurgisnacht on
"The Last Drive In"

and the last year
we're on Shudder.

If I die,
it'll be like a Viking funeral.

Like a drive in warrior dying
on the drive in battlefield.

-Except a Viking funeral
requires fire.

-Well, we got fire.
Look. That's fire.

-Okay, so if we hoist you
on to that flame,

you will smother
that fire right out.

-Sláinte! Prost!
-Okay.

-Bring on the Jagermeister.

-Oh, dear.

-Which ones --
These are the Becherovka.

All fled. All done.
So lift me on the pyre.

The feast is over.
The lamps expire.

-You said that before.

-Robert Howard,
creator of Conan the Barbarian.

He typed that out right

before he committed suicide
at the age of 30.

-That doesn't sound
super festive.

-Viking funeral, Darcy.
Hell, yes!

He knew what he
was talking about.

-I don't feel like
I've ever seen you like this.

-You have seen me drunk.
-Oh, yes, I have.

And I say I've never seen
you like this, sir.

-Well, get used to it.

It's Witches Night,
and I'm feeling right!

You feel me?
-Oh, I feel you.

-And I'm sorry to report,

I just found this
out based on viewer feedback.

Wally the Walpurgisnacht rascal
is not setting the world

ablaze like I hoped.

Did you look at those messages
that came?

Some people think he's
a bit creepy.

-What?
-Some of you...

Some people said
it's borderline cruel

to smash a bunch of dead animals
together with Elmer's glue.

I didn't know, but y'all are
not seeing the vision, though.

Sometimes you need a rascal.

-He's cute if you don't
think about the roadkill part.

-Well...

It takes a big man to admit
when he's wrong.

So I asked Shane,
our production designer

to take another crack
at a Walpurgisnacht mascot

during the movie.

And so here he is.

Majestic.

-Ooh!
-Shane, good job.

What's his name?

-Mr. Wickie.

-Mr. Wickie.
-Mr. Wickie.

-All right. Whatever.
-Wow.

-We can workshop that name.

Mr. Wick. The Wickster.
-Bye, Wally.

Old Saint Wick.

-What?
-The point is,

we got ourselves
the walpurgisnacht version

of the Michelin Man,

one of the longest
lasting mascots of all time.

Shane, we need to get a
trademark going on this tonight.

Do that.
-I like him, Shane. Good job.

-Brilliant.

-Yes.
-See this?

This design is all
about longevity because

the Michelin Man has been
on the scene since 1894.

That's 100 and...

It's a long time.
A century and a half.

One of the most recognizable
mascots in the world.

But guess what, Michelin Man.

Mr. Wickie is coming
for your lunch

in the not too distant future,

when we're all zipping
around on flying Buick LeSabres

and hovering SUVs.

We'll no longer need
a rubber homunculus

or whatever you are
to sell us tires.

And why is
the Michelin Man white anyway?

Who drives on pure white tires?
-Fuck, dude!

I think you're losing the plot.

-You're right, Darcy.
I am losing the plot.

Sooner we stop talking
about the Michelin Man,

the sooner Mr. Wickie here
can leapfrog his popularity.

Out with the old,
in with the new.

Walpurgisnacht is way
older than cars.

And we'll still be rocking
the Brocken long

after Michelin sells
its last tire.

You'll see what I'm talking
about.

What was in this one?
-I don't know.

-Around 2159 or so,

Mr. Wickie will be known
the world over

and the Michelin Man
will be a distant memory.

Oh, man,
that's such a waste.

Look upon my tires,
ye mighty, and despair.

That's what
the Michelin Man will say.

Okay.
-Okay, so I feel like somebody's

good on shots.

-How could you be talking about?
Because me and Mr. Wickie...

-...we got a whole lot of party
left in the tank.

Hope you're ready.
-I'm ready.

-Okay, I am leaving.

But Ted will be back
in the morning.

-I'm a little hungry.

Maybe you could make me
something to eat

before you leave.

-Uh, well, there's a fridge.

Why did you take him
out of the box?

-I didn't.

-Okay.

Yeah, so the fridge
is straight down to your right.

Will you be able to find it?

-I'll find it.

-Good night.

What did I do with my keys?

Have you seen my keys?

-Did you find them?

-Would I be back here if I had?

I can't find them.

-So you're staying, then?

-Well, I'm hardly walking back
to the city, am I?

-Wonderful.

I was hoping the three of us
could spend some time together.

-We haven't gotten around
to building the kitchen yet,

so we don't really keep
a lot of food here.

If I'd known you were coming...

-How long have you and Ted
known each other?

-Two years.
We met at the hospital.

-You were a patient there.

-I'm a senior sales rep for
a major pharmaceutical company.

I travel around a lot
of healthcare facilities.

That's how I met Ted.

-And you became friends.

-We just found that we had
a lot in common.

-So there was nothing going on
between you two

when my sister was still alive?

-No. We were just friends.
-Okay.

-Ted said you work
in an antique store.

-It was my mother's.

She gave it to me
after she passed,

but it's not my main source
of income.

I also read objects.

-What does that mean?

-It means
I can pick up an object

and tell you everything
there is to know about it.

-Like appraisals?
-People bring me

their family heirlooms,
but it's more...

A widow recently brought me in
her deceased husband's

wedding ring.

She wished to know

had he ever been unfaithful
in their marriage.

He had been. For years.

Repeatedly.

-How could you tell that
from his wedding ring?

-By holding it.

-You could tell that this guy
was cheating on his wife

by holding his wedding ring?

-Yes.

-Well, that's impossible.

So, you're psychic?

-Personal items work best--
watches, rings,

anything that has been
in close contact with the skin.

-Well...

if you can make a living
from that,

more power to you.

-Do you mind staying out here
alone at night

when Ted's working?

-Can't say I enjoy it.

-Why not?

-Well...

I suppose
I think of what happened

to your sister here and...

Yeah, just the thought of
another one of Ted's patients

showing up at the front door
here when I'm alone

is just-- ugh.

-And if one were to knock
at the door,

would you allow them in?

-Of course not.
Do I look stupid?

-I have no idea
what you look like.

You sound stupid.

-Excuse me?

-Do I look stupid?

-No.

-My sister and I
were identical,

so that must mean that
she didn't look stupid either.

-I never said she did.
-You implied it.

Dani would never allow
a strange man into her home

in the middle of the night.

Olin Boole
did not kill my sister.

-I can't, I can't.

I'm sorry.

-Maybe-- Maybe--

Um, maybe they heard me
and I scared them away.

Alright, I'll go into town.

I'll call the police.

And you just
stand here by the door.

You keep your eyes open.

If you hear anything,
you pull this door open

and you run.

-Well...

Hey.

Hey!

Are you still there?

-Ted told me
that guy was put away

for beating his mother to death.

-An abusive woman who had
already blinded him in one eye

and was coming for the other.

If I had only one working eye...

I'd kill to protect it.

-If he didn't kill
your sister...

who did?

-Did you fall out of bed?

Were you praying?

-Couldn't sleep.

-That's not what I asked.

-Yeah.

-What were you praying for?

-For my mother.

-What's your name?

-Olin Boole.

-Olin. O-lin.

Is that with an A or an I?

-An I.

-How do you spell that?
With one I or two?

-One.

-That'll be easy to remember.

-But you won't have to
remember it,

because I'm being released
next week.

-Oh, so, you're only
passing through?

-I'm from the area.

The halfway house won't be
available until next week.

-Where were you before this?

-Saint Delia's.

-How long were you there?

-17 years.

-Ohh.

You're the fellow
who beat his mother to death.

What the fuck are they doing

letting someone like you
back out into the world?

-I'm not going to hurt anybody.
-Get back into the bed.

Don't let me catch you
out of it again.

-And how is it you're
the only one that knows this?

-Personal items work best.

-You know, every time we see
Darcy, the Darcy in the movie,

she seems stronger.

new girlfriend Yana is
obviously no match for her.

Yana is played by
Caroline Menton, Dublin actress.

This is her first feature film.

I've been using
this term psychometry,

which is the ability
to see into the past or future

by holding inanimate objects,

personal items owned by
the person you're investigating.

Damian McCarthy obviously
believes that's a real thing,

because we're now introduced to
the ultimate inanimate object,

a giant wooden man that Darcy
installs in Ted and Yana's home,

and the wooden man was designed

by the art director
Paul McDonnell

after the original design failed
to satisfy McCarthy,

so they only had
about three weeks to create

that whole thing
before filming began.

And since McDonnell lives
in Galway and McCarthy

lives in Cork,
about three hours away,

they designed and sculpted
the wooden man over Zoom.

Um, McDonnell had
four sculptors working on it

as McCarthy directed them
to change the nose,

change the mouth, whatever.

And eventually McCarthy got
the golem he desired,

and McCarthy and McDonnell have
still never met face to face.

Damian McCarthy should actually
be an inspiration to anybody

who lives out in the boonies
who wants to direct films

because he grew up
in the small town of Bantry.

As I said before,
population around 2,800.

His father ran a shop
called John McCarthy Electrical

in the 80s, and 90s and Damian
was growing up at the shop,

and at some point
the family added a basement

video rental store
to the electrical business,

and Damian spent
all his free time there

in the horror section.

He wasn't allowed
to watch "The Exorcist",

I think for Catholic reasons,

even though I know
"The Exorcist" script was

approved
by the church and they had

a Jesuit priest on the set
to authenticate everything.

But anyway, he watched
pretty much everything else,

and he was especially a fan
of Sam Raimi.

Uh, when he started
making short films,

it was more or less as a hobby.

He studied film for three years
at St. John's College in Cork,

which is what we would call
a junior college

or technical college
or vocational college,

but he still expected
to join his father

in the electrician business.

When he got out,
he made a series of short films,

worked several years
on his first feature "Caveat",

which is about two people
trapped in a crumbling estate.

And that finally came out
in 2020

and attracted
just enough attention

to get his next script made.

And that script was "Oddity."

And both films were shot
at Bantry House.

The main difference being that
"Caveat" was shot on the sets

that were built in
the refurbished stables,

whereas this movie used
the mansion itself.

And then his life changed
at South by Southwest in 2024

because he won
the Audience Award.

He won another audience award

at the Overlook Festival
in New Orleans.

He presented the movie to
a wildly enthusiastic audience

at the Music Box Theatre
in Chicago

as part of the Chicago
Critics Film Festival,

and all that acclaim made
it possible

for him to set to work
on his next movie.

The reason
I say his story is inspirational

is that he never left home,

but he became a full time
filmmaker on his own terms.

And, Darcy,
what the hell are you doing?

-Personal items work best.

-And where'd you get those?

-Wardrobe loaned them to me.

-That middle one is
actually the one

I wore to South by Southwest.

-Oh, I know.

-Do you remember
what I was wearing?

at South by Southwest?
-No.

I see what you were doing.

-I was doing my redneck show.

-Oh, that's not all
you were doing, sweetie.

-Stop doing that.

-Oh. Oh, no, I am impressed.
I had no idea.

-Stop that. Don't do that.
-I'm just saying.

-Oh, my gosh, how many days
did you stay in Austin?

-I don't remember.
Not long.

-There's a lot of mileage
on this one bolo.

-Alright, let's move
on from bolo psychometry.

All right? Back to the movie.
Roll it.

-Were you
in a different hotel?

-Darcy, you are scaring me.
Just stop, okay?

-Let me just tell you.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.

-What? What is nothing?
-Lots of people do it.

It's okay, it's okay.

-Put the bolos back
in the wardrobe!

I've collected them all over the
years, and they have a history.

-Oh, fuck yeah, they do.
Lots of history in here.

-This is not a good thing
you're doing, Darcy.

-Oh, yeah, it is.

You have belt buckles in there,
too.

-Don't even think about that,
Darcy.

-I'm thinking.

-You ever been to Comercawn?

-No.

-It's where the boys' school
was, where I grew up.

It's all overgrown now.
Nothing left of it.

About 10 years ago,
someone put up a metal cross

to mark the spot.

I like to head down there
once a year,

and I twist that cross
'round and 'round

till it snaps off.

They keep replacing it,
and I keep breaking it.

I was thinking of heading
out there this weekend.

Would you like to come?

It's a lovely drive.

We could make a day of it.

-No, I don't, uh...

No, I try to catch up on sleep
on the weekends,

spend time with Yana.

-Sister Francis
is buried out there.

That blind nun I told you about.

She used to tell us little boys
she went blind

after God showed her
what hell looked like.

Imagine that.

Which reminds me.

You never told me
your wife had a blind twin.

-What?

-You never told me your wife
had a blind twin sister.

-How do you know that?

-Well, I was in town
the other day

and wandered into
this little antique shop,

and I nearly had a heart attack

when I saw your dead wife
sitting there,

what with her weird eyes
and everything.

I thought I was
seeing her ghost.

-Rook to knight 6.

Checkmate.

-Hello?

-I'm stuck out at the house.

I can't find my car keys.
I've looked everywhere.

-Where's Darcy?

-We were talking,
and she fell asleep.

She's saying some weird things
to me, Ted.

-What's she saying?

-Well, first of all,
she told me how she was psychic.

And the next thing you know,
she pulls out a glass eye

she says belongs to the man
that killed your wife.

Only she says
he didn't kill your wife.

She says it's that creepy,
orderly you work with-- Ivan.

-She said what?

-She said that Ivan killed Dani.

-What did she say exactly?

-That. Exactly what
I'm telling you.

-There's something going on
there.

She's clearly not well.

I'm going to talk to her

and see if she'll agree
to get checked out.

-I don't want to stay here
with her, Ted.

I'm thinking about
calling someone to pick me up.

-And you've looked everywhere
for your keys?

-For all I know, she took them.

And she's asking
a lot of questions

about when you and I
got together.

It has me on edge.

-Look, she's
not going to do anything.

And even if she wanted to,

I think you could handle
one small blind woman.

Just say good night,
go to bed, and lock the door.

I'm going to make some calls,
see if I can get out of here.

-Do, because she's freaking me
out with all this stuff.

How does she even know Ivan?

-I don't know.
I'll be there as quick as I can.

Shit.

-Put them back!

-What is this?

-Put them all back now.

-Good night.

-What?

-This is Dani Timmis
coming at you

from the wilds of our
unfurnished sitting room.

We've set up a little tent
here downstairs

instead of going back
to the city,

and I find it kind of
cozy and romantic.

What do you think, Ted?

-It's fucking freezing.
-Come on, show us your face.

Let's see how, uh,
happy you look.

Oh!

This is Dani Timmis
coming at you

from the wilds of our
unfurnished sitting room.

We've set up a little tent
here downstairs

instead of going back
to the city,

and I find it kind of
cozy and romantic.

What do you think, Ted?

-Run.

Run!

Darcy.

Darcy?

Who's there?

Is there someone in...

-All right. Uh... Yeah.

This is some classic
haunted house ghost movie stuff.

And the director,
he gets jump scares

with just the slightest reveal.

Really skillful stuff.

That's Gwilym Lee
as Ted Timmis,

the widower psychiatrist,
very accomplished English actor,

best known for playing Brian May
in "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Remember that?
The Freddie Mercury biopic.

Trained at the Guildhall School
in London.

They've turned out a lot
of fine classical actors

like Peter Cushing,
Daniel Craig, Ewan McGregor,

Orlando Bloom.

And that beefy
orderly he's playing chess with,

that's Steve Wall,
the lead singer and songwriter

who founded the Irish band
The Stunning.

Have you heard of The Stunning?

He wrote that song
"Heads Are Gonna Roll."

How appropriate. He wrote
"Heads Are Gonna Roll."

-It's appropriate.
-Anyway,

they're having kind of an Irish
horror moment over there now.

County Wicklow,
where "Rawhead Rex" was filmed.

They've always called
itself the Hollywood of Ireland,

mostly because of
big budget movies filmed there

like "Excalibur"
and "Star Wars",

Harry Potter films there.

And really going back
into the 40s and 50s.

"The Quiet Man" was
filmed there.

And partly because there's
an actual town in County Wicklow

called Hollywood, population 85.

Nothing's ever
been filmed there,

but they erected
an exact replica

of the Hollywood sign
in a field outside town

and that's now become
a tourist attraction.

But more recently we've had
"The Devil's Doorway",

found footage film about horrors
in a Catholic asylum.

Um, these are all Irish.

Uh, "The Hallow",
fairy tale ghost story.

"The Hole In The Ground."
Sinkhole horror.

Lee Cronin made that movie.

Resulted in, they just hired him
for "Evil Dead Rise."

"You Are Not My Mother",

which starred Carolyn Bracken,
the star of the film

we're watching,
psychological horror.

Last year, "Abigail", written
by Irishman Stephen Shields

about the creepy
preteen ballerina girl.

I actually love that movie,
but I'm in the minority.

-I love it, too.
-You love it, too?

-Yeah. It's great.
-"Citadel."

Psychological horror.

"Vivarium." Sci-fi horror.

So a lot of people went
to Ireland for the locations,

but once they got there,

they found
a filmmaking community

that seems to be growing.

But, Darcy,
we got sidetracked.

We're not doing enough shots

because you're over there doing
psychometry on my bolo ties.

-I'm doing shots, too.

-I haven't noticed
you doing shots.

-You haven't noticed my shots
because you're doing the shots.

-True.
And you know something?

-What?

-Jager? Not that bad.

-Wow.

You're a convert to
frat boy liqueur. Ha!

-Ah, not really, but
I'm ready for another Underberg,

I'll tell you that.
-Oh, no you're not.

-Yeah, and I was searching
for another

Celtic god we could honor.

And this time I'm going --

I'm going with a goddess.
-Okay.

The goddess Áine.

And you're gonna like her,
Darcy. She's all about sex.

-Oh, then I'm there.

-She's the most radiant
of all the females in the world.

-Radiant.
-I think they mean hot.

She's pure sex.

She comes up out of the ground,

and she orders everybody to pair
off and make the land fertile.

because the way
you make the land fertile

is you make sure you are
fertile.

And the way you do that
is you make the sign

of the Macedonian velociraptor
underneath the nearest hawthorn,

which is the fairy tree
that blooms on Witches Night.

-Are you adding things
to the ritual?

-Like what?

-Macedonian velociraptor?

-Well, I'm trying
to describe the frenzy

that awaits us in the woodlands.

All the wild stuff occurs
in the woodlands.

-Let's go to the woodlands.

-Áine literally carries
the fire to the woodlands.

-Okay,
but when do I go to the Brocken?

-They're not big
on mountains in Ireland, Darcy.

The tallest one,
has a cross on it.

Nothing pagan there.

-I'm just --
I'm doing the Brocken, man.

-Okay, do the Brocken later.

But first we got to get nasty
in the woodlands.

-Sláinte!
-Another one?

-Whoo! Sláinte!

-Darcy, you got to match
the shots.

If I do a shot,
you got to do a shot.

-You did that too fast.
I don't...

Okay, I got one. All right.

Prost! Prost!

Because I'm going back
to the Broken! Prost!

Prost me.
-You really love the Broken.

-I love the Broken!

You have no idea.

-I know you ruled it
last year.

-Where were you
when you wore that last bolo?

-That one that has the little...

-The big old eagle one.

-Tulsa.

-Do what you did in Tulsa,

and we will rule
the Brocken together.

Trust.

-Darcy, please stop doing that.

Don't do that psychometry stuff.

-No way. Do you ever take those
bolos off?

-Why do you ask me that?
-Do you sleep in those bolos?

Just saying.

-What happened to the --
Oh, there it is.

-Darcy.

What are you doing up here?

Yana's not answering her phone.
Where is she?

-Dani frightened her off.

She always was
the more level headed one.

-Yana called me earlier.

She said you told her
a man that works at the hospital

with me killed Dani.

-Yes. A porter named Ivan.

Do you know
who I'm talking about?

-There is an orderly
that works with me called Ivan.

-That's him.

-Olin Boole killed Dani.

The week he was released,
he came out here

and he killed her.

-He came out here to save her,

and I dragged him from his bed,
and I killed him.

I'm going to pay for that.

-Darcy, is something
affecting your thinking?

Dani told me what you were like
when you were ill--

seeing and hearing things
that weren't there,

believing things
that weren't real.

This is not real.

Why don't you come with me
to the hospital.

I'll arrange a scan,
and we can see what's going on.

-To the hospital,
where you'll have me committed.

No.

-You know, I loved your sister,
so I owe it to her to help you.

Yes, I could have you committed
if I thought you were a danger

to yourself or to someone else.

-I am a danger... to Ivan.

So if you're going to send
someone out here to get me,

send him.

-Where is all this coming from?

Ivan and Dani never even met.
Why would he kill her?

-Because you asked him to.

-Excuse me?

-"I don't love you anymore.
I've met someone else.

I'm sorry."

That was all you had to say.

She would have cried,
and it would have been

difficult, but I would
have been there,

and she would have
gotten over you!

But, instead, you had
Ivan come here and kill her.

-So, she'll be at the house
on Friday?

-Yes.

-Why don't you just
divorce her?

-She loves me.

She'll never get over me.

And when she finds out
about Yana,

there's no way
we'll get to keep the house,

and I have sunk
everything into that place.

This is the only way.

-Why don't you wait
until the place is furnished?

Then it could look like
a robbery turned violent.

-No, no.
It'll be cleaner this way.

Especially if you can do it
when she's inside the tent.

Try to do it
when she's sleeping.

-What if the motive was sexual?

It happens all the time.
The adrenaline kicks in.

You have your hand
on their throat.

-No.

No, nothing like
that is to happen.

I want it to be
quick and painless.

-But let's just say it happens
to go that way.

-Nothing like that
is to happen to her.

Do you understand me?

You just go in there, you do it,

and you get out of there
as quickly as possible.

I mean it.

I don't want her hurt.

-Just dead.

-I had planned to kill you,

but instead, I think it would
be worse to expose you.

I'm going to see to it
that you lose everything--

your girlfriend,

your job, this house,

your freedom.

-Detective Peter Minehan.

He was the police officer
in charge of Dani's case, yes?

Do you remember him?

-Yes.
-Do you trust him?

-Yes.
-Okay, good. Let's start there.

Let's call him,
and you can tell him everything

that you've just told me
and see what his reaction is.

He'll tell you it was
Olin that killed your sister,

and he'll walk you
through the evidence again.

You know,
if you're still not happy,

then have him go question Ivan.

Come on, let's call him.

-You call him,
you tell him what you did,

and then call Ivan and send him
out here so I can kill him!

-I don't have his number here.

Uh, I'm going to leave my phone
here, where there's signal,

I'm going to go back
to the office,

and I'm going to call
Detective Minehan

and tell him to
call you here, alright?

If you don't answer,
I'll tell him to come out here

and talk to you in person.

But, please, when the phone
rings, pick it up.

-I had planned to kill you,

but instead, I think it would
be worse to expose you.

I'm going to see to it
that you lose everything.

-When the phone rings,
pick it up.

-Yeah, the old trap door trick.

It works really well
on blind people.

So Ted is pretty despicable,
killing people left and right.

But Darcy's not so hot in
the ethics department herself

since we now know
that that nasty smudge

on the psych ward floor
was the one eyed Olin Boole,

and she's the one
who put it there.

And you know, Darcy,
-Yes?

-We are getting
very close to the end

of our final Walpurgisnacht
Witches Night special.

-Aw, don't say that.
-And I don't --

Well, I don't think anybody else
is going to do this.

Nobody else is going to pay us
to put out propaganda

for the pagan holiday

nobody in America
wants to celebrate.

-Next year, we are going to go
to the actual Brocken

and do the show.

-Why?

So we can stream it
for three professors

of German folklore sipping
espressos at a Vienna cafe?

-That was really specific.
-Ah, you know what I mean.

I'm afraid this whole
April 30th,

May 1st holiday is going
the way of the feast

of the circumcision.

-I'm not familiar
with that one.

-Millions of people around the
world used to observe that day,

the day when they surgically
trimmed the penis of Jesus.

The feast of the circumcision.

-And what day was that?

-January 1st is
when they used to do it.

-So why did they stop doing it?

-Conflicted
with the Rose Bowl.

No, actually,
I think they decided

since Jesus never used
his penis,

-Okay.
-...it's sort of

an empty ritual.

Think about it.

I mean,
we'd have to ask the Pope,

but the Catholic clergy fears
the penis.

-Oh, do not go there, please.
Please.

-Fine with me.
-Okay.

-I'm just saying this is one
of those celebrations

destined to Peter out.

Like the festival
of Jesus' peter petered out.

-Okay, I just think
it's all too complicated.

-What? What -- you mean
Walpurgisnacht?

Dress like a witch.

Do witchy things,
get drunk and party.

What's complicated?

-The way you described
it constantly is complicated.

-Sláinte!

Prost!

Isn't that it, Prost?

-I think so.

That's where we're going with,
Prost!

-Or as my daddy used to say --
boy, did I drink all those?

-Oh, yeah.
-As my daddy used to say,

may it go down smooth
and not come out talking.

-Which one's that?

-Actually,
I think a little everything

has been poured in here,
Underberg,

Becherovka, Jagermeister.

And you know what that means.

-Oh, they're going to
be throwing up on us,

like, any minute now.

-That's 119.

-Mm-hmm. Wow.

-119.

-Wow.

-119 herbs and roots
and fruits and spices

because there's 20
in the actual Becherovka.

But we poured Underberg,
so there's 43 in Underberg.

Jagermeister shows up
with a full marching band,

56 botanical ingredients,
and in just one.

-Are you sure that
that adds up to 119, though?

-No, but I'll count again.

It's a lot.
-It's a lot.

-I'll tell you
after the creepy

but very satisfying
conclusion to "Oddity."

We have a job here.

Roll it.
-Roll it.

-We should definitely have
more Irish movies

because the Irish know
their shots.

-Yeah, they drink Guinness.

-Actually,
they drink Powers, too.

-What's Powers?

-You know,
that's the best Irish whiskey.

-Oh, I feel like 50%
of the Irish diet is Guinness.

If you order a beer by just
saying, "Hey, give me a pint",

they assume it's a Guinness.

-And the other 50% of
their diet is potatoes, right?

No, what they drink is
Powers or Jameson.

Uh, you know,

whatever year it was
that Ireland played Italy in

New York in the World Cup,
so I was in New York,

and the Irish fans showed
up a week early,

and they drank from 9:00 a.m.
to 5:00 a.m.

because that's
the bar hours, every day,

because they needed
four hours a day for sleep.

And then the city sold out

of Jameson, Powers,
Redbreast 12, Black Bush.

The bars did not sell out
of Guinness.

-Uh, that's
because they were on vacation.

They brush their teeth
with Guinness.

-Okay, well,
you're the Irish person.

-Yeah.
-I do remember when

the Irish national
team beat Italy,

they decided to stay
another week.

And the NYPD overtime
bill set all time records.

And I admire that.

I'm telling you, Irish,
the Irish are the answer.

The Irish are the answer
to reviving Beltane

in one form or another.

-The Irish are the answer
to most things, I'd say.

-You need to stay
on topic, Darcy.

We have a movie to finish.

And are we running out of
fire water?

I could be losing count,

but seems like we're
missing a few bottles here.

We had at least more --
We had at least

six more shot glasses.

-Hey, Doc.

-You said
you didn't talk to her.

-What do you mean?

-Dani's sister, Darcy.

You said he didn't speak to her.

-I didn't.

-Well, you spoke to someone,
because we have a problem.

-Yes?
-I found your phone.

-And?
-It's broken.

Seems like it had a fall,
just like you thought.

-Is it still working?

For now.

But I don't think
it can be fixed.

-Are you sure?

-It's beyond repair.

-Hey.

Don't worry.

It's nearly over.

-We... are... connected.

Where were you?
Why am I here?

What's this about?

-Based on your
prior convictions

and my recommendation,

it was decided that this was
the best place for you

until you were in
a fit state to talk.

-Your recommendation?

-What happened at the house?

-Someone attacked me.

-Who?

-I-I couldn't see.

It was dark.

-You know, Darcy sent us this

bizarre gift
of a large wooden man.

When you woke up,
you told the nurse

that a man made of wood
came to life and attacked you.

-Yes.

-What do you mean "yes"?

-That's what happened.

-If that thing was alive,

how is it that
I was able to drag it outside

and burn it without it
struggling or screaming in pain

when I set it on fire?

-You burnt it?

-It burned down quietly
to a pile of ash.

The nurse also said
that you requested a priest

and that you asked her
not to tell me that.

Why do you want to see a priest?

Why do you want to see a priest?

-I want to confess.
-Confess to what?

-To all the things I've done.

-Oh, you've done
a lot of things, Ivan.

You tell a priest just one
of the things you've done,

and he'll either convince you
to go to the police

or he'll go there himself.

You'll spend the rest
of your life in prison.

-It's better than
forever in hell.

-There's no such thing
as forever

and no such place as hell.

-I won't tell them
anything about you.

I'll tell them I killed
your wife because I wanted to.

-People will question
how I failed to recognize

such an obvious psychopath
and why I discharged it early.

Why I befriended it
and employed it.

It'll make me look like
I'm not very good at my job.

The one good thing about working
in a place like this...

...is that no one
really asks any questions

except on the rare occasion

that one patient died violently
at the hands of another.

But even then,
as I've always believed,

there's nothing
that can't be explained.

-No, no, please.

-So, I'm not sure what part of
that you're not understanding.

If I don't return your calls,

it means I don't want
to speak to you.

And if you think
I'm ever going to set foot

in that haunted house
of yours again,

then you're fucking crazier
than your patients.

I mean, the fact that you have
no problem staying out there

where two people have now died
is just so weird.

Do not call me again.

♪ You never knew ♪

♪ How it would feel ♪

♪ To be left all alone ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know,
now you know, oh ♪

♪ Now that you're
on your own, oh ♪

♪ You broke my heart ♪

♪ Now someone else ♪

♪ Has thrown
your love in the sea ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know,
now you know, oh ♪

♪ What you did to me ♪

♪ While you're drying
those teardrops ♪

♪ Praying your heart will heal ♪

♪ Think of the way
it used to be ♪

♪ With me,
when your love was real ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Then come to me ♪

♪ And I'll hold you close ♪

♪ Just like I used to do ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know,
now you know, oh ♪

♪ That I still love you ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know,
now you know, oh, oh ♪

♪ That I still love you ♪

-I love that ending.
I love the whole sequence.

The wooden man coming to life
as Darcy plucks at her chest.

That's Ivan de Wergifosse,
professional stunt man

inside the movable
wooden man getup.

He qualified for the job
mostly by being beefy

and 6'4",
and then the bellboy payoff.

A lot of people
who like the film

do not like the bellboy part.

They feel like it's not earned
and it's too abrupt.

They want one more beat to see
what the bellboy does to Ted.

But I think it's better this way
because we know

it's going to be excruciatingly
painful, whatever it is.

So "Oddity" made $1.8 million
at the box office,

most of that
at North American art houses,

which is pretty dang good
for an indie film.

What do you think, Darcy?

-Well, I love the wooden man
and the blind psychic witch,

of course.

I would have really liked more
action and more on screen kills.

-The theme of the movie
seems to be

that no murder can
ever be covered up.

The universe conspires
to punish evil.

-Yeah, right.
-You don't buy that?

You don't buy that evil
is always punished?

-Do you?

-No, but works well for this
movie

because it doesn't matter
how smart the evil Ted is,

he can avoid any detective
and any lawyer,

but he can't avoid
a psychic detective

who's willing to get nasty.

And speaking of getting nasty,
I'm a little wobbly.

-You are?
-I think.

-You are.

-But I am ready
for the woodland revels.

-Okay, but before that,
let's do a mail bag.

-Hm. Yeah.

-Oh, come on, just make
it something easy, okay?

-Uh, no promises.
-Oh, God.

-We don't have
that much time left

to thank the mutant family
for all the years

that they've been supporting us.

And it's letters like this one.

-Oh, man,
don't even finish that sentence.

-It's from Olivia Steele
of Stockton, California.

-Darcy, I'm drunk.
I don't think I can do this.

-If you weren't drunk, you'd be
able to stop me, so huh.

-"Dear Mr. Joe, Bob Briggs
and Mr. Darcy, the mail girl."

There's a bunch
of eight by tens.

-Oh,
you only hold them up for you.

-A bunch of eight by tens
that go with the letters.

I'll take those.
-Here, I'll do that one.

-Um, "My name is Olivia Steele.

My husband would be greatly
upset if I didn't mention

that I am a horror
focused voice actress

who works the indie scene,
mainly with video games

and horror narration
YouTube channels.

I'm writing to you

both today to let
you know we have lost a member

of the mutant family."

Darcy, I knew you were
going to do something like this.

-Keep reading.
-Oh, "Josias Joe Hernandez,

my husband,

passed away in the early morning
hours of July 12, 2025.

He had become very ill
very fast after being diagnosed

with what turned out
to be esophageal cancer.

On his last evening,

my husband, his brothers,

their wives and myself

crowded around
the small hospital room watching

The Last Drive In
'Werewolf Night' off an iPad."

I do remember
that, we skipped July 4th

so that we could do
the live feed on July 11th.

Yeah, he died on July 12th.

Um...

"We chatted about movies,

and when he was asked
by one of my sisters in law

why he loved the show so much,

he answered, there is
so much bullshit in the world.

It's nice to come together
for a few hours to laugh

and forget outside troubles.

He had always said
he didn't want a funeral,

but instead a celebration
of life

to remember all the good times.

It was a wonderful,
bittersweet time

where many great memories
of Joe were shared."

You can show those pictures
of Joe, I guess.

-Showing all of them.

-Yeah.

-"And at the end of the event,

we showed The Last Drive In
episode of

"Dark Night of the Scarecrow",
and it was a hit.

Joe was a kind
and hilariously goofy guy.

Um, he saw the value
in the underdog.

Loved fiercely,
gave unconditionally.

Uh, made absolutely unbearable
horse jokes to annoy me

because according to him,

what's the point
in being married

if you can't annoy your wife?"

There he is with Tom Savini.

-I know.

-"And he believed that
in order to have good taste,

you have to understand
and appreciate the bad.

This same man would often put on
the giddiest feminine voice

and flail his arms around,

quoting 'Daughters of Darkness'.

Tomorrow night.

That was the first Last Drive In
movie Joe played for me

and it was truly a game changer.

And now I've made it my mission
to carry on the Last Drive In

spirit for our little family."

I think "Daughters of Darkness"

was part of our original
13 movie marathon, wasn't it?

-Keep going, keep going.
-This is a long one.

-Yes, but come on.

-It's just one punch
to the gut after another.

-I know, but...

-"Werewolf Night"
on his last night alive, Darcy.

-Okay, why do I do this to me?

-"Dark Night of the Scarecrow"
at his funeral.

I mean, "Daughters of Darkness"
as his gateway drug.

-Just keep going, keep going.

-"The Last Drive In"
became a household staple.

Whenever a new episode
was announced,

we would both be
endlessly excited.

I know Joe will
still be watching with me

in the years to come.

Being a part of this community
that is this diverse

has been so wonderful,

and seeing
how overjoyed people become just

to watch a forgotten gem from
decades past is so beautiful.

One of Joe's final wishes
was that I write into the show,

and I hope this letter resonates
with other mutants out there.

Life is fleeting.
It goes by so fast.

This upcoming December would
have marked 10 years together,

and we just celebrated our
fifth anniversary in February.

But I wouldn't trade
that time for anything

except maybe more time with Joe.

Tell your family and friends

you love them
whenever you say goodbye.

Do that thing
you've been wanting to do,

meaning to do,
or been putting off.

Go out and make that movie.

I wanted to thank you
both for the impact

you had on two crazy kids
from Stockton, California,

whose dream was
to help keep the drive in

going by opening up
a non-profit movie theater here

in Stockton to help a community
riddled with violence,

to give kids a safe space
after school,

to create an environment
designed for talking

about media,

for families to gather,
for people to show their work.

We had so many plans.

I'm still hopeful I can make
this happen someday.

For Joe's memory,
rest in peace, Joe.

Though we may die,
the drive in never will.

Thank you so much.

Olivia Steele,
Stockton, California.

PS do you have any horse jokes?

Joe specifically loved
using horse jokes to annoy me.

We'd love to hear
your best horse."

Is that a thing? Horse jokes.
-I assume you have some

horse jokes.

-Jokes about horses
or really bad puns.

-You know?
-Yes, please, give us.

Thanks for sharing Joe's story,
Olivia.

Uh, once again, I have to say,

the community that has
been built up around this show

since we first did
the marathon in 2018,

it's really changed my life.

So I appreciate it
when someone says

that they went on that journey
with us.

And, Darcy, we
are still doing woodland revels.

-Yes, and then we are conquering
the Brocken together

on behalf of the mutants.

-Yes, we are, and that's it
for me, Joe Bob Briggs,

speaking for myself
and for Darcy, the mail girl,

asking you to remember that time
when you were little

and you'd fall on the trampoline

and everybody would keep jumping
so you couldn't get back up

because that was
your training for adult life.

And the drive in
will never die.

Okay. Let's see what I got.

-All right, let's go.

-Oh.
-Horse jokes.

-Why was the horse
able to get a job?

Because he was stable.
Is that how you do these?

Is that a horse joke?
-Wait, wait, wait.

Everything has to be funny.

No, okay, try it again.

-I'm new to horse jokes.
All right.

-Okay. Got it.
-Um...

-Just we want to hear it again.
Do it again.

-Why was the horse
able to get a job?

-Why?
-Because he was stable.

-What? Oh, my God! Wow.
We didn't get it before, so.

Okay.

-Why do horses make
terrible dancers?

Because they have
two left hooves.

-What? That's crazy. Whoo!

-What do you call a horse
that lives next door?

A neiiiigh-bor.

-Ah! Come on, come on.
That was good.

That was good.

-Uh, it's a very specific
sub genre of jokes, isn't it?

Why do horses watch
horror films?

They want to have night mares.

No. It's funny.

-Who is the horse's
favorite painter?

Mo-neiiiigh.

-Every time you neigh,
you get a high five.

Good job.

-Oh, really?
-Yes.

-Uh, then where do horses
go for fun?

-Oh, nowhere.

-Co-neigh Island.
-Alright!

-Okay, only one more.

-Um, what story do
you tell to a runaway horse?

A tale of whoa!

I think that's enough.

-It's good.
-Don't you think that's enough

Horse jokes?
-Yes, we do.

I mean, honestly, though, could
we ever have enough horse jokes?

-I think probably.
-I think we did okay.

-Prost.
-Prost.

-Sláinte.
-Sláinte.

-Sláinte?
-I don't know.

-Ah!

-And as my granddaddy
used to say,

let's drink like the rent's due.

-Whew.
-Come on, Mr. Wickie. Oh!

Whoa! Which one was that?

Mr. Wickie, come on over.

-Oh, my.

-Maybe it wasn't
such a good idea.

-Poor Mr. Wickie.

-♪ We are drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ Drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ We are not like
other people ♪

♪ We are sick
-♪ Sick ♪

-♪ We are disgusting
-♪ Disgusting ♪

-♪ We believe in,
we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ If life had a vomit meter ♪

♪ We'd be off the scale
-♪ Off the scale ♪

-♪ As long as one drive-in
remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party like
jungle animals ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

pass