Original subtitles

-Okay, Darcy,

we are going to stoke the ceremonial fires of Beltane now.

-Well, that sounds fun and dangerous.

Who are you supposed to be?

Just what? -Darcy, you're Irish.

You should recognize the garb of an Olam.

-I don't think they taught that in Catholic school.

-It's a Druid scholar.

It's like a sacristan or a verger.

Only cooler.

The main reason being you get to light the bonfire.

-All right.

Are you about to light the bonfire?

-Two bonfires, and then we drive the cattle

between the bonfires, we sacrifice a cow.

-Do we have a cow?

-Well, we'll use a plush toy cow or something.

-Okay.

-And then I say -some ritual invocations

about the fires of Baal.

And I pray for the fullness of their udders.

-The fullness? -Of the udders.

Some of them are dairy cows so the udders are what's important.

-I feel like I liked it better when we were just doing

witches night.

-Well, we're still doing witches night.

In fact, as you know, we have two Irish movies tonight.

And the second one stars a witch named Darcy.

-Yeah! -And that's why I'm doing this.

And I'll throw in some praise

for all the horror films coming out of Ireland lately,

partly because the Irish are great storytellers,

partly because the Oireachtas passed some tax credits

that make it really cheap to shoot movies in Ireland.

-Well, I'm surprised you know what the Oireachtas is.

-I do. God bless the Irish.

It's like the legislature or something.

Well, when I say God bless,

I don't mean the God, the Irish god God,

because we're doing Beltane.

So it can't be the Christian God,

but it's all the gods that they used to worship.

All those gods bless the Irish, the gods,

Lugh and Brigid and the Dagda and Aine and Manannan and Nuada,

all them gods.

-Okay, so why are you doing this?

-Especially Lugh. Lugh. L-U-G-H.

Lugh of the long arm. Lugh of the long arm.

Because he's the Celtic god of storytelling.

-Okay, well, let's party.

-Lugh slingshotted a stone through the eye of Balor.

-Oh, that is a good horror image.

-Balor was Lugh's grandpa,

but he was the king of the Fomorians,

and the Fomorians were dedicated to chaos,

so Lugh had to put everything in order.

-A three act structure, I got it.

-You know, we've been spending all this

time on German people trying

to figure out the traditions in Saxony.

But the Germans that immigrated to America,

they didn't even bother with Walpurgisnacht.

They didn't even tell us about it.

They didn't bring us anything to work with.

They're all spread out across the country,

ignoring their ancestral traditions.

I'm thinking Irish immigrants give us a much better shot

at Beltane, because when the Irish came over here,

they remained Irish, right?

They didn't change. They stick together.

They run the fire department, you know.

They open pubs.

Where's the biggest Saint Patrick's Day parade?

It ain't in Dublin.

You know, we should search through Druid history

and make those connections with the Irish.

That will eventually make Witches Night

an American reality.

That's my plan.

-Wow, that sounds a little complicated,

but I'm repping the Irish blood, so I feel like we can do it.

-Okay. -Okay.

-I'm lighting the fires of Uisneach.

They actually do this on May Day.

They go to the hill of Uisneach, and they light the fire

of Beltane, but they don't really do it right, so.

-All right, so you're saying that you know better

how to light the fire on that sacred hill?

-Yes, I do.

-Okay.

But we're getting pretty far from Witches night,

don't you think? -No.

-Yes.

-Look. -What?

-Why did you Irish people come to America?

You ran out of potatoes, right?

And then what happened? You ran out of potatoes?

-Something like that.

-Okay, but, you know, there were potato eaters.

They loved potatoes. That's all they ate.

Potatoes.

If they just continue to do the Druid ritual of Beltane

in the proper manner, they would have been feasting on beef.

Because Beltane is all about cattle.

You run all the cattle between the two hills

on the two highest peaks in Uisneach,

and that makes the cattle strong and fertile

and massive milk pumpers.

And instead they had them saying, whoops, no more

potatoes, have to emigrate to America.

They didn't even say, okay, we'll eat radishes and lettuce,

much less let's butcher a pig.

They just got on the boat.

Somebody said, you know, somebody came along --

You know what happened?

-What? -Some German or something

came along and sold them on one of those paleo diet fads.

You know, all you need is potatoes.

Don't eat anything else. Just potatoes.

In other words, they lost touch with their Celtic rituals.

And that led to, "What's for dinner, Mama? Potatoes."

What's for dessert? Sweet potatoes.

-I don't think you should lecture on this

in Dublin, just so you know.

-No, I'm glad they came here.

They're happy here.

I'm surprised they didn't immigrate to Idaho, though.

But now I want to go into the Irish community

and get back on the Beltane train,

because the German Americans are not helping us at all.

-You're very strange, man.

-I know, but let's watch the movie about Darcy,

the Irish witch.

-I knew you were gonna bring that one up.

-Witch Darcy watching Witch Darcy.

Who can resist that show?

-No one.

Because they know that you've been drinking

and you're holding a torch.

It's like watching a tightrope walker.

-Are you saying I'm incapable of wielding this torch properly?

-I'm just saying you're pretty deep

into that beer and that mead.

-And now I'm getting deep into fire.

-Oh, that's good.

-Because the rest of this night is about fire,

Darcy, fire on the outside, fire on the inside.

We haven't even done shots yet.

That's when you really get into fire.

-Then let's get busy.

Three kinds of alcohol and a massive fire pit.

What could possibly go wrong? -"Oddity."

"Oddity" is the name of our second movie tonight,

and it's a sensitive story of a blind witch

whose sister gets murdered by a psycho,

so she starts using psychometry to find out just exactly

how that happened.

It's a little bit slasher, a little bit psychological horror,

a little bit haunted house movie, a little bit ghost story.

And it harkens back to the original horror movies

from the silent era, the Golem movies.

And I know, sure, we've seen all those elements before,

but have we seen them with antique shop voodoo?

I think not,

so let's look at those drive in totals and get started.

We have five dead bodies, one wooden beast, two ghosts,

head stomping with gooey result.

Cannibalism, artificial eyeball rolls.

Toe chomping, compound fracture.

One poorly managed insane asylum.

Hammer murder. Haunted house.

Curio shop fu. Psychometry fu. Trap door fu.

Golem fu. Hannibal Lecter mask fu.

Drive In Academy Award nominations for Carolyn Bracken

in a dual role as the dead nanny who says, "We are connected."

And the blind but deadly Darcy, who says,

"I have no idea what you look like,

but you sound stupid."

Gwilym Lee as the widower psychiatrist

who says, "I have to listen to crazy things all night at work,

I don't need to hear it when I come home."

Steve Wall as the creepy orderly who says,

"What if the motive was sexual?"

And Damian McCarthy,

the writer-director, for putting together a mashup

of every horror genre that manages to be both down

and dirty and elevated at the same time.

And for creating a drive in movie in a nation

that lost its only drive in in 2019.

Four stars. Joe Bob says check it out.

-I feel like the Irish would appreciate what we do here.

-I don't know.

Their only drive in, Movie Junction,

two screens, 200 car capacity, was located in the same county

where they made this movie, and it went out of business.

-I think the climate's too cold

for year round drive ins there.

-It's because they stopped making cars.

You know, they had a great car.

The Irish had a great car in the '50s called the Shamrock,

similar to a T-Bird.

-I don't think I've ever ridden in a Shamrock.

-Well, you couldn't, because they only made 10 of them,

but...

-Oh, wow, really? -Went out of business.

Don't laugh. Eight of them are still running.

-That's amazing. -If you own a 1959 Shamrock,

you would have been the coolest guy at Movie Junction.

-I was not expecting all this Irish love tonight.

-The Irish are our friends.

They're going to lead us back to the true Beltane traditions.

And by this time next year,

America will be walpurgisnachting

all over the place.

-The Irish have a saying for that.

-And what's that saying?

-Drunk on dreams.

-Yes, I am. Drunk on mead and beer.

-And dreams. -And dreams.

♪ I'm just so tired ♪

♪ Baby, I can't even run for cover ♪

♪ But there's a river, there's a river ♪

♪ I'm gonna jump in ♪

♪ Sweet water gonna take this weight I've been shouldering ♪

♪ And there's a river, there's a river ♪

♪ Oh, found me out ♪

♪ Sweet love, sweet love ♪

♪ Won't you show me what you're all about? ♪

♪ Step up to the bank and strip ♪

♪ Swallow your stone and dive into the heart of it ♪

♪ Let your body go ♪

♪ Sink on down ♪

♪ Out of time and space ♪

♪ Feel the mana all around ♪

♪ Sweet water gonna take this weight I've been shouldering ♪

♪ And there's a river, there's a river ♪

♪ Oh, found me out ♪

♪ Sweet love, sweet love ♪

♪ Won't you show me what you're all... ♪

-What do you think you're doing?

Get back inside.

-Dr. Timmis. -Well, hello, Dr. Timmis.

It's Mrs. Timmis here.

-I thought you were staying at the house tonight.

-I am. That's where I'm calling you from.

I found a signal. -Where?

-Upstairs at the, uh, end of the walkway.

-Are you still staying out there tonight?

-Yeah. I'm going to drive into the village in a little while

for some dinner, and then I'm just going to

keep at it until I get tired, really.

-Okay.

Well, don't work too late.

-Oh, um, maybe we can invite my sister

for dinner tomorrow evening?

I'm kind of worried about her.

-Uh, Darcy can take care of herself.

-She's meant to have regular check-ups

and she just gets mad when I ask her.

-Well, do you want me to ask?

I am a doctor. -Would you?

-Yeah, of course. I can be the villain.

-Well, you're my hero.

-I'd better get back to it here.

I'll see you in the morning.

-Okay. I love you.

-Love you.

-Come on.

Let's stretch our legs, shall we?

-Hello. You've reached Darcy Odello.

Please leave a message after the beep.

-Hey, guess what.

We are connected.

-Could you open the door?

-What do you want?

-You're in trouble.

I saw you come out of the house just now.

You went to the car to get something.

You left this door open behind you.

Somebody went inside.

-What?

-I saw you go to your car, and you left the door open.

Somebody slipped inside. They're in there now.

-Well, I didn't see anyone. -I know that.

Your back was turned.

-What are you doing standing outside my house?

My husband's going to be back any minute.

-Dr. Timmis works nights.

-Oh, um...

Are you a-a patient of-- of Ted's?

-I heard them in the wall,

and I came here, and I saw someone.

Would you just open the door?

-Okay. -I'm trying to help you.

-Is there someone here?

-They're not gonna answer you.

-Is there someone in here?

There's nobody in here except me,

and-- and you've made a mistake.

And I'd, uh-- I'd really like you to leave now, please.

If you don't, I'm going to call the police.

-Yeah. Okay. Yeah, call them.

Call them!

-Well, I-I can't find my phone. It was in my car.

Do you have a phone? -No.

-Do you-- do you really think you saw someone?

-I am telling you that there is someone in there with you.

-If I open the door, what are you going to do?

-I'll-- I'll-- I'll look around.

-And if you don't see anyone?

-I'll leave.

Yeah. Good.

♪ You never knew ♪

♪ How it would feel ♪

♪ To be left all alone ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know, now you know, oh ♪

♪ Now that you're on your own, oh ♪

♪ You broke my heart ♪

♪ Now someone else ♪

♪ Has thrown your love in the sea ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know, now you know, oh ♪

♪ What you did to me ♪

♪ While you're drying those teardrops ♪

-You can look around, but please don't touch anything.

If you see something you like, just let me know.

And if you're thinking of stealing something,

you should know that every item in here is cursed.

Curses are lifted at the time of purchase.

-Cursed?

-That's right.

-Does that really deter anyone from shoplifting?

Apart from the superstitious.

-You'd be surprised how many stolen items are returned to me.

For those lucky enough to figure out

where their sudden bad luck is coming from.

-Your mother would have been proud of you, Darcy.

-Ted.

-Oh.

-It's been a while, Ted.

-I know. I'm sorry.

I've been trying to settle back into things.

How's business?

-It's good.

-What were you doing there? You seemed very focused on that.

-Oh. This is, uh...

...one of the more interesting items that has been

brought to the store in quite a while.

-Oh, yeah? Interesting how?

-Well, it's haunted.

-Really? What do you mean?

-There was a man,

not a very pleasant one, who spent most of his life

working as a bellboy in a hotel.

And one night, he was showing a drunk guest to his room,

and the guest shoved him down the stairs

and-- and he broke his neck and he died in the fall.

And a few days later, the receptionist rang the bell

to summon the new bellboy.

Only, who did she see running towards her

not looking very happy?

-Are you telling me that if you ring that bell,

a dead bellboy will come running?

Well, ring it. Let's see what happens.

-It's not something to be played with, Ted.

Seeing as the last two people who rang this bell

were found dead.

-Okay.

-Dani used to say that one of her goals

was to open that closed mind of yours.

-She tried. I'm a doctor. Science and logic.

-Okay.

-I have something for you, Darcy.

Declan Barrett died last week.

Heart attack.

-How do I know that name?

-He was in the halfway house with Olin Boole

the night he was killed.

They found it...

clearing out his belongings.

-You found it?

-It's here. I have it here in my hand.

That's it. That's all that's left of him.

My impulse was to crush it under my shoe,

but then I remembered you wanted it.

He should never have been discharged.

He was dangerous. I should have seen it.

-It wasn't your fault, Ted.

-Why do you want it?

-He took my sister's life.

I want to see what was going through his mind

when he was dying.

Was there any regret or...

was there only fear?

Thank you. -You're welcome.

I should get going.

-Okay.

Maybe you could visit some night for a bite to eat?

It will be a year next week, and...

I feel like talking about her.

-Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that.

Um, maybe in a week or two, though.

We're still trying to get settled in at the house,

make it a bit more habitable.

-We?

-Yana, my girlfriend.

-You've met someone already?

-Well, I knew Yana from the hospital.

She's a pharmaceutical rep there.

When Dani died... she was there for me.

Um, maybe you could come and visit us...

if you think you're ready to go back out there.

-M-Maybe.

-It was good to see you, Darcy.

Goodbye.

-Message received 11 months, 3 weeks, 1 day ago.

-Hey, guess what.

We are connected.

I found a signal. Now, it's not ideal.

It's only in one exact spot,

but, uh, maybe we can boost the signal?

I don't know. I don't know how those things work.

I put the camera on a time lapse, like you suggested,

but so far, all I've captured are orbs.

I'd have thought an old house like this

would have at least one ghost roaming around,

but maybe the renovation work scared them off.

Ted's working hard all the time.

He's off tomorrow night,

so the three of us could have dinner, if you like.

And, uh...

...that's about it here.

I'm looking forward to seeing you.

I miss you.

Okay. See you then.

-Okay, Witch Darcy? -Yes?

-What do you think of Witch Darcy?

-I think she's cool.

-Do you think you can do that,

what she does, take inanimate objects like that glass eye

and wave your hand over it and see into the past?

-Oh, well, I've never done it, but I wouldn't rule it out.

-You have lots of knickknacks from junk stores in your house?

-I do.

-Okay, well, the writer-director of this movie,

Damian McCarthy, is one of those guys who likes to go antiquing.

You know, ask me what I think of antiquing.

-Oh, I already know what you think of antiquing.

-Yeah. Cut my legs off so I can't do it anymore.

There's nothing worse than a relative

or a girlfriend or boyfriend

who's fascinated with antique shops and curio shops

because it takes a minimum of three hours

just to look at everything in one shop.

You probably don't even have those in LA.

-Oh, they do,

but I think we focus more on like the flea market cities.

-Yeah, antiquing is a big East Coast thing.

In Texas, we just call them junk stores.

Anyway, Damian McCarthy is an electrician turned filmmaker.

You don't hear that often. From Cork,

which is the second largest city in Ireland.

Although he always makes it clear he's from West Cork,

and I get the impression -- I've never been there --

I get the impression that West Cork is the hippie area.

You know, musicians, arts and crafts,

cutesy shops, vegan restaurants,

picturesque fishing villages, basically

Marin County, California,

but with more interesting accents.

And Damian McCarthy is from one of those picturesque towns

in West Cork, a town called Bantry.

And looming over Bantry Bay is Bantry House,

an enormous mansion we see at the beginning of the film,

and most of the movie takes place inside Bantry House

because the filmmaker is friends with the White family

who have lived there since, listen to this, 1731,

when they were the Earls of Bantry, and Damian McCarthy

is on record saying the location is the movie.

If he didn't have that location,

he would never have written the movie.

-It's a very impressive building.

-And spooky building, right? -Definitely spooky.

And that opening scene is amazing.

-Yeah, because we get hooked right away with the old idea

that someone is already inside your house, right?

You just don't know where.

And the actress playing Dani is Carolyn Bracken,

successful Irish actress from County Tipperary,

which is a couple of hours away from Bantry.

Everything in Ireland is a couple of hours away.

And if you didn't notice it right away

because I didn't notice it right away,

she's also playing the sister of Dani,

the blind curio shop owner Darcy,

because she looks totally different.

This movie, and especially Carolyn Bracken's performance,

wowed the crowds at the South by Southwest Festival

in Austin in 2024, won all the audience awards.

The guy with the glass eye in the opening scene is

Tadgh Murphy.

T-A-D-G-H is his name.

Todd Hug. Todd Hug Murphy.

-Todd Hug? Old Todd Hug Murphy

He landed the role partly because he has a glass eye.

He lost his right eye at the age of 13

when he was accidentally hit by an arrow.

But he's apparently used that to his advantage

because he got rave reviews for starring

in a UK TV series called "Black Sails",

playing Ned Low, the savage pirate of the early 1700s.

He was also in one of Damian McCarthy's

early short films called "How Olin Lost His Eye",

which has nothing to do with this movie even

though his character has the same name.

Olin Boole in this movie.

Which is an Irish thing, I guess.

We don't understand it.

It's an Irish -- They do that. -I understand it.

-Okay, if you understand, why is there a short film called

"How Olin Lost his Eye" with the same guy

who lost his eye in this movie,

playing a character with the same name,

but the stories don't have anything to do with each other?

-It's an Irish thing. You wouldn't get it.

Don't worry about it.

-Okay.

Well, anyway, before we go back to the movie,

can I mention one more Celtic god

that would have been dancing

around the Beltane bonfire in old Ireland?

You know, before they started eating potatoes.

-Yes. Please do. -Actually

it's a goddess, the goddess Brigid.

-Oh. Saint Brigid. -See, you know

the Catholic versions of this stuff.

No, not Saint Brigid.

The Catholic Church took Brigid over,

just like they took over Beltane in Germany,

where they renamed it Walpurgisnacht

after Saint Walpurga.

No, Brigid is the Celtic fertility goddess

representing life giving power,

protection of women, creativity, healing, medicine, poetry.

But the most important thing, she embodies fire.

When you encounter Brigid, you get changed by her fire.

She's the daughter of the father God, the Dagda.

But you already know that.

-Yeah, but you got the wrong date on her.

-What do you mean?

-Brigid is February at the Festival of Imbolc.

-Really? -Yeah.

-Well, dang, Darcy. -She's pre-spring.

She starts warming stuff up early for us.

-Well, apparently Darcy in the movie

has the spirit of Brigid animating her

Now that she's seen something through the aura

of Olin Boole's glass eye.

And she's apparently got something in that big wooden box

to help her take care of it.

Roll the movie.

Just how Irish are you, Darcy?

-What?

I have Irish pale skin, if that's what you mean.

-Irish are all pale?

-Generally, yeah. -From the all potato diet maybe?

-No, from the northern latitudes.

-Well, I know all about that because I'm from Scotland,

and we don't tan either.

That's why they call us rednecks.

-I know, I've heard.

It's a complicated story. -Why do you say that?

-Well, because I've heard your whole complicated history

of the term redneck in your live show many, many times.

-Yeah, well, we're not going to go there.

-Oh, my God, thank you.

-I don't want to talk about that.

-...more dramatic terms,

the storm has given back an ugly amount,

Bringing with them rain and gusty easterly winds.

Nightfall, we'll see the high possibility of

weather-related power outages

in the more exposed rural areas of the Southwest.

But providers have said such outages...

-Hey.

How was your day?

-Long.

-You look tired.

-Well, I didn't sleep last night.

-Yana.

-I keep telling you,

I don't sleep when I'm here alone,

and because you're still working nights,

I'm here alone all the time.

-I know.

Dr. Crotty is going to retire soon,

and then I'll have regular hours.

New camera?

-I found it clearing out the store the other day.

It's your wife's.

-That was Dani's?

-There's a lot of photos of the two of you.

I don't know if you want to keep it or--

-No, it's all right

-It's okay, Ted.

It would be weird if you didn't want to keep some memory of her.

-Okay. Okay, yeah.

Maybe you could store it somewhere safe for a while.

-Take a look at these photos I took.

-What-- What am I looking at?

-Look at this one.

You don't see her?

-Who?

-Well, it's Dani's camera.

There's going to be pictures of her on it.

-I took these two nights ago.

-Well, then it's double exposure or whatever you call it.

-Okay.

Last night, when I was going to bed...

-Yana...

I have to listen to crazy things all night at work.

I don't need to hear it when I come home.

-Don't call me crazy.

I'm just telling you what I saw.

-Dani's ghost?

-No. No, obviously not.

But, clearly, the lack of sleep is starting to affect me,

which is why I want us to move back to my apartment

until you start working regular hours.

-Fine. If that'll make you happy.

I don't like leaving you out here on your own either.

-Then we're all good?

-But just to be clear,

my dead wife is not haunting this house.

-I know. I'm sorry.

-You sound like her sister-- with ghosts and nonsense.

-Speaking of her sister...

It came today while you were asleep.

Dani's sister sent it.

-What's in it?

-I don't know. It's locked.

-Maybe she's inside it.

-No, she's outside.

-What?

What's she doing here?

Darcy. Hello.

-Ted.

I'd forgotten how far out this place is.

-Um... come in.

-Maybe you could guide me?

-A step here. -Thank you.

-Darcy, this is Yana.

Yana, Darcy.

-It's-- it's nice to meet you.

-Hello.

-Uh, thank you for having me.

-Well, if I'd known you were calling,

I would have been ready.

-Ted didn't mention he invited me?

-Uh, well, to be honest, Darcy,

I didn't know you were coming either.

When did I invite you?

-Last week.

When you came to the store,

you said I should visit on Dani's anniversary.

-Oh, I-- Okay. I'm sorry.

If I said that, I meant we'd arrange

a night when we'd both be home.

-Are you not home now?

-Well, uh, no. I-I'm on my way to work,

and Yana is staying in the city tonight.

-Well, I'm here now. Can you call in sick?

-No. I have people counting on me.

We're short-staffed as it is.

-And I've got plans in the city, so...

-I'm so sorry, Darcy. I can...

I can drop you off on my way.

-I'm here now.

I'd like to stay, if that's alright.

-But we won't be here.

-That's alright.

-Well, I...

Fine.

Yeah, I suppose that would be fine.

I don't know.

Oh.

Your trunk arrived.

What's in it?

-I'll see if we have some extra blankets.

-Have I seen this before?

-It was my mother's.

-And you want me to have it?

-Yes.

-Are you sure? I mean, if it was your mum's.

-She would be happy to know I sent it here.

-Right.

Well, thank you. That's very, very generous.

Can you show me where the bathroom is, please?

-Of course.

-Thank you.

-Yeah, sorry again for the mix-up.

I feel bad leaving you here on your own.

Will you be alright?

-Don't worry about me.

-Well, you know, I do sometimes.

Think I've inherited it from Dani.

How is everything with your health?

-Why? -No, you seem good.

It's just anything with the brain and cancer,

it's something to keep a close eye on.

-I had a check up recently, and all good.

-Good, good. That puts my mind at ease.

Okay, we're here.

I'll see you in the morning.

-Yes, I'll-- I'll see you then.

-What are you doing, telling her she can stay?

I don't want her here. -What do you want me to do?

It's not my fault she can't take a hint.

-Is it okay leaving her here on her own?

-Well, I'd rather you stayed here with her,

but I get the feeling that's not going to happen, so...

-It's not. -Well, there you are, then.

She says she just wants to be here.

So what's the harm?

-And what the fuck is that thing?

Why would she want us to have that?

-I have no idea.

We'll get rid of it as soon as she's gone.

I have to go.

-Can you not wait until I leave?

-I'm already late.

Just say goodbye, finish packing, and go.

I'll see you in the morning.

-Did you know the traditional gift

to give a couple on their fifth wedding anniversary

is something made of wood?

-Ted and I aren't married.

-For my parent's fifth wedding anniversary,

a witch my mother knew gave her that.

It's very rare.

-Well, Ted and I aren't married yet,

so maybe you should take it back.

-Don't you like it? -No.

I find it a bizarre present to give to someone.

-Okay, Darcy.

It's time. -Yes.

It is time for me to give my usual lecture

about the slow burn.

-No, I mean, it is a slow burn,

I admit that, but all this stuff connects up at the end.

It's hard to even talk about this movie without doing

spoilers, because every little moment contributes

to the conclusion of it.

No, it's time for the third nutrient

in any Witches Night celebration.

It's time for shots!

-Yeah. Shots! -The bonfire is roaring.

-Where? -I'll show you in a minute.

-Okay. Wait.

You started the bonfire without me?

-Well, we actually got shut down outside

by the Coweta County Fire Rescue chief in Newnan.

But I don't want to go into it.

-Don't they like the show?

-They don't like open burns in the middle of pines,

oaks, maples and sweetgums.

-Please do not tell me

that you explain Witches Night to the fire chief.

-I told him I was Order of the Arrow,

and so I knew what I was doing, but...

-And he was not impressed by that?

-Well, yeah. He told me what to do with my arrow.

But anyway, we're going to go with what we got.

So... -And this is what we got.

-This is all we got.

But once we start the shots, you won't care anyway.

-Oh, my God. You've been talking about the shots all night.

Let's do it.

-Yes, Darcy, this part is not optional.

This is when everything gets weird.

This is when people start losing their clothes

and running off into the woods and dancing like rabid weasels.

The fire is burning away all external obstacles,

and the shots are burning away all internal obstacles.

This is literally the gateway to partying like a jungle animal.

And the way you do that

is you use what is known today as an herbal liqueur,

what used to be called fire water, lightning in a bottle,

or my own preferred term, voluntary brain damage.

-I am so ready.

-See this bad boy? -Yes.

-Small but powerful. Underberg.

Let me tell you what a badass shot this is.

This is made in a secret high security production facility

in the small town of Rheinberg, Germany,

using herbs from 43 countries, not just 43 herbs,

at least 42 imported herbs.

And it's been matured in Slovenian oak barrels

the exact same way since 1846.

Members of the Underberg family

would commit seppuku with a flamethrower

rather than tell you what's in this or how it's made.

If you're going to do one shot on Walpurgisnacht,

make it Underberg.

It counts for 10 shots of anything else,

and I know a lot of our viewers who went to the trouble

to get the Witches Night menu many weeks ago

are ready to kick back with it at home.

And I also gave the mutants a lazy option for those

who can't handle the Underberg jolt to the cerebellum.

We have this one from Karlovy Vary.

The spa town in the Czech Republic, Becherovka.

Uses a lot of cinnamon,

clove, warm spices so that it will sort of melt into your body

and gradually turn you into a maniac.

And then for the slackers in the audience,

I did approve a third option.

-No way. No way.

-Yes. It's German.

It's German. It's got 56 herbs in it.

-And it's used by like frat boys to get drunk really fast.

-Yeah. That too. Jagermeister.

-Whoo-hoo!

Supposedly that it has deer blood in it,

so I cannot partake.

-Well, that's a myth, Darcy. That is an urban legend.

-You don't know that.

-Well, I was in Sigma Nu for about a month, I know that.

-You know nothing.

-Just do the Underberg, and we will be one with the bonfire.

-Only we don't have a bonfire.

-We have a Shudder style bonfire.

Okay, I have poured two. Two Underbergs.

Do you know how much this costs?

Put that down. We should say something.

We should say something as we do this.

-Okay. -What should we say?

-Prost.

-What? -Prost!

That's what you say when you do a German shot.

-Well, wait a minute.

What do you say when you do an Irish shot?

-Sláinte!

-I'm going with Sláinte. I like Sláinte better than Prost.

Are you sure you know this stuff?

-No. Sláinte!

-All right.

-It's probably right. -Ready?

Sláinte! -Sláinte! Whoo! Sláinte!

-You okay there, JB?

-Back to the movie. -Sláinte!

-Let's just do all three.

-Are you suicidal? No, no.

-Sláinte -Because this is the last

Walpurgisnacht on "The Last Drive In"

and the last year we're on Shudder.

If I die, it'll be like a Viking funeral.

Like a drive in warrior dying on the drive in battlefield.

-Except a Viking funeral requires fire.

-Well, we got fire. Look. That's fire.

-Okay, so if we hoist you on to that flame,

you will smother that fire right out.

-Sláinte! Prost! -Okay.

-Bring on the Jagermeister.

-Oh, dear.

-Which ones -- These are the Becherovka.

All fled. All done. So lift me on the pyre.

The feast is over. The lamps expire.

-You said that before.

-Robert Howard, creator of Conan the Barbarian.

He typed that out right

before he committed suicide at the age of 30.

-That doesn't sound super festive.

-Viking funeral, Darcy. Hell, yes!

He knew what he was talking about.

-I don't feel like I've ever seen you like this.

-You have seen me drunk. -Oh, yes, I have.

And I say I've never seen you like this, sir.

-Well, get used to it.

It's Witches Night, and I'm feeling right!

You feel me? -Oh, I feel you.

-And I'm sorry to report,

I just found this out based on viewer feedback.

Wally the Walpurgisnacht rascal is not setting the world

ablaze like I hoped.

Did you look at those messages that came?

Some people think he's a bit creepy.

-What? -Some of you...

Some people said it's borderline cruel

to smash a bunch of dead animals together with Elmer's glue.

I didn't know, but y'all are not seeing the vision, though.

Sometimes you need a rascal.

-He's cute if you don't think about the roadkill part.

-Well...

It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong.

So I asked Shane, our production designer

to take another crack at a Walpurgisnacht mascot

during the movie.

And so here he is.

Majestic.

-Ooh! -Shane, good job.

What's his name?

-Mr. Wickie.

-Mr. Wickie. -Mr. Wickie.

-All right. Whatever. -Wow.

-We can workshop that name.

Mr. Wick. The Wickster. -Bye, Wally.

Old Saint Wick.

-What? -The point is,

we got ourselves the walpurgisnacht version

of the Michelin Man,

one of the longest lasting mascots of all time.

Shane, we need to get a trademark going on this tonight.

Do that. -I like him, Shane. Good job.

-Brilliant.

-Yes. -See this?

This design is all about longevity because

the Michelin Man has been on the scene since 1894.

That's 100 and...

It's a long time. A century and a half.

One of the most recognizable mascots in the world.

But guess what, Michelin Man.

Mr. Wickie is coming for your lunch

in the not too distant future,

when we're all zipping around on flying Buick LeSabres

and hovering SUVs.

We'll no longer need a rubber homunculus

or whatever you are to sell us tires.

And why is the Michelin Man white anyway?

Who drives on pure white tires? -Fuck, dude!

I think you're losing the plot.

-You're right, Darcy. I am losing the plot.

Sooner we stop talking about the Michelin Man,

the sooner Mr. Wickie here can leapfrog his popularity.

Out with the old, in with the new.

Walpurgisnacht is way older than cars.

And we'll still be rocking the Brocken long

after Michelin sells its last tire.

You'll see what I'm talking about.

What was in this one? -I don't know.

-Around 2159 or so,

Mr. Wickie will be known the world over

and the Michelin Man will be a distant memory.

Oh, man, that's such a waste.

Look upon my tires, ye mighty, and despair.

That's what the Michelin Man will say.

Okay. -Okay, so I feel like somebody's

good on shots.

-How could you be talking about? Because me and Mr. Wickie...

-...we got a whole lot of party left in the tank.

Hope you're ready. -I'm ready.

-Okay, I am leaving.

But Ted will be back in the morning.

-I'm a little hungry.

Maybe you could make me something to eat

before you leave.

-Uh, well, there's a fridge.

Why did you take him out of the box?

-I didn't.

-Okay.

Yeah, so the fridge is straight down to your right.

Will you be able to find it?

-I'll find it.

-Good night.

What did I do with my keys?

Have you seen my keys?

-Did you find them?

-Would I be back here if I had?

I can't find them.

-So you're staying, then?

-Well, I'm hardly walking back to the city, am I?

-Wonderful.

I was hoping the three of us could spend some time together.

-We haven't gotten around to building the kitchen yet,

so we don't really keep a lot of food here.

If I'd known you were coming...

-How long have you and Ted known each other?

-Two years. We met at the hospital.

-You were a patient there.

-I'm a senior sales rep for a major pharmaceutical company.

I travel around a lot of healthcare facilities.

That's how I met Ted.

-And you became friends.

-We just found that we had a lot in common.

-So there was nothing going on between you two

when my sister was still alive?

-No. We were just friends. -Okay.

-Ted said you work in an antique store.

-It was my mother's.

She gave it to me after she passed,

but it's not my main source of income.

I also read objects.

-What does that mean?

-It means I can pick up an object

and tell you everything there is to know about it.

-Like appraisals? -People bring me

their family heirlooms, but it's more...

A widow recently brought me in her deceased husband's

wedding ring.

She wished to know

had he ever been unfaithful in their marriage.

He had been. For years.

Repeatedly.

-How could you tell that from his wedding ring?

-By holding it.

-You could tell that this guy was cheating on his wife

by holding his wedding ring?

-Yes.

-Well, that's impossible.

So, you're psychic?

-Personal items work best-- watches, rings,

anything that has been in close contact with the skin.

-Well...

if you can make a living from that,

more power to you.

-Do you mind staying out here alone at night

when Ted's working?

-Can't say I enjoy it.

-Why not?

-Well...

I suppose I think of what happened

to your sister here and...

Yeah, just the thought of another one of Ted's patients

showing up at the front door here when I'm alone

is just-- ugh.

-And if one were to knock at the door,

would you allow them in?

-Of course not. Do I look stupid?

-I have no idea what you look like.

You sound stupid.

-Excuse me?

-Do I look stupid?

-No.

-My sister and I were identical,

so that must mean that she didn't look stupid either.

-I never said she did. -You implied it.

Dani would never allow a strange man into her home

in the middle of the night.

Olin Boole did not kill my sister.

-I can't, I can't.

I'm sorry.

-Maybe-- Maybe--

Um, maybe they heard me and I scared them away.

Alright, I'll go into town.

I'll call the police.

And you just stand here by the door.

You keep your eyes open.

If you hear anything, you pull this door open

and you run.

-Well...

Hey.

Hey!

Are you still there?

-Ted told me that guy was put away

for beating his mother to death.

-An abusive woman who had already blinded him in one eye

and was coming for the other.

If I had only one working eye...

I'd kill to protect it.

-If he didn't kill your sister...

who did?

-Did you fall out of bed?

Were you praying?

-Couldn't sleep.

-That's not what I asked.

-Yeah.

-What were you praying for?

-For my mother.

-What's your name?

-Olin Boole.

-Olin. O-lin.

Is that with an A or an I?

-An I.

-How do you spell that? With one I or two?

-One.

-That'll be easy to remember.

-But you won't have to remember it,

because I'm being released next week.

-Oh, so, you're only passing through?

-I'm from the area.

The halfway house won't be available until next week.

-Where were you before this?

-Saint Delia's.

-How long were you there?

-17 years.

-Ohh.

You're the fellow who beat his mother to death.

What the fuck are they doing

letting someone like you back out into the world?

-I'm not going to hurt anybody. -Get back into the bed.

Don't let me catch you out of it again.

-And how is it you're the only one that knows this?

-Personal items work best.

-You know, every time we see Darcy, the Darcy in the movie,

she seems stronger.

new girlfriend Yana is obviously no match for her.

Yana is played by Caroline Menton, Dublin actress.

This is her first feature film.

I've been using this term psychometry,

which is the ability to see into the past or future

by holding inanimate objects,

personal items owned by the person you're investigating.

Damian McCarthy obviously believes that's a real thing,

because we're now introduced to the ultimate inanimate object,

a giant wooden man that Darcy installs in Ted and Yana's home,

and the wooden man was designed

by the art director Paul McDonnell

after the original design failed to satisfy McCarthy,

so they only had about three weeks to create

that whole thing before filming began.

And since McDonnell lives in Galway and McCarthy

lives in Cork, about three hours away,

they designed and sculpted the wooden man over Zoom.

Um, McDonnell had four sculptors working on it

as McCarthy directed them to change the nose,

change the mouth, whatever.

And eventually McCarthy got the golem he desired,

and McCarthy and McDonnell have still never met face to face.

Damian McCarthy should actually be an inspiration to anybody

who lives out in the boonies who wants to direct films

because he grew up in the small town of Bantry.

As I said before, population around 2,800.

His father ran a shop called John McCarthy Electrical

in the 80s, and 90s and Damian was growing up at the shop,

and at some point the family added a basement

video rental store to the electrical business,

and Damian spent all his free time there

in the horror section.

He wasn't allowed to watch "The Exorcist",

I think for Catholic reasons,

even though I know "The Exorcist" script was

approved by the church and they had

a Jesuit priest on the set to authenticate everything.

But anyway, he watched pretty much everything else,

and he was especially a fan of Sam Raimi.

Uh, when he started making short films,

it was more or less as a hobby.

He studied film for three years at St. John's College in Cork,

which is what we would call a junior college

or technical college or vocational college,

but he still expected to join his father

in the electrician business.

When he got out, he made a series of short films,

worked several years on his first feature "Caveat",

which is about two people trapped in a crumbling estate.

And that finally came out in 2020

and attracted just enough attention

to get his next script made.

And that script was "Oddity."

And both films were shot at Bantry House.

The main difference being that "Caveat" was shot on the sets

that were built in the refurbished stables,

whereas this movie used the mansion itself.

And then his life changed at South by Southwest in 2024

because he won the Audience Award.

He won another audience award

at the Overlook Festival in New Orleans.

He presented the movie to a wildly enthusiastic audience

at the Music Box Theatre in Chicago

as part of the Chicago Critics Film Festival,

and all that acclaim made it possible

for him to set to work on his next movie.

The reason I say his story is inspirational

is that he never left home,

but he became a full time filmmaker on his own terms.

And, Darcy, what the hell are you doing?

-Personal items work best.

-And where'd you get those?

-Wardrobe loaned them to me.

-That middle one is actually the one

I wore to South by Southwest.

-Oh, I know.

-Do you remember what I was wearing?

at South by Southwest? -No.

I see what you were doing.

-I was doing my redneck show.

-Oh, that's not all you were doing, sweetie.

-Stop doing that.

-Oh. Oh, no, I am impressed. I had no idea.

-Stop that. Don't do that. -I'm just saying.

-Oh, my gosh, how many days did you stay in Austin?

-I don't remember. Not long.

-There's a lot of mileage on this one bolo.

-Alright, let's move on from bolo psychometry.

All right? Back to the movie. Roll it.

-Were you in a different hotel?

-Darcy, you are scaring me. Just stop, okay?

-Let me just tell you. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

-What? What is nothing? -Lots of people do it.

It's okay, it's okay.

-Put the bolos back in the wardrobe!

I've collected them all over the years, and they have a history.

-Oh, fuck yeah, they do. Lots of history in here.

-This is not a good thing you're doing, Darcy.

-Oh, yeah, it is.

You have belt buckles in there, too.

-Don't even think about that, Darcy.

-I'm thinking.

-You ever been to Comercawn?

-No.

-It's where the boys' school was, where I grew up.

It's all overgrown now. Nothing left of it.

About 10 years ago, someone put up a metal cross

to mark the spot.

I like to head down there once a year,

and I twist that cross 'round and 'round

till it snaps off.

They keep replacing it, and I keep breaking it.

I was thinking of heading out there this weekend.

Would you like to come?

It's a lovely drive.

We could make a day of it.

-No, I don't, uh...

No, I try to catch up on sleep on the weekends,

spend time with Yana.

-Sister Francis is buried out there.

That blind nun I told you about.

She used to tell us little boys she went blind

after God showed her what hell looked like.

Imagine that.

Which reminds me.

You never told me your wife had a blind twin.

-What?

-You never told me your wife had a blind twin sister.

-How do you know that?

-Well, I was in town the other day

and wandered into this little antique shop,

and I nearly had a heart attack

when I saw your dead wife sitting there,

what with her weird eyes and everything.

I thought I was seeing her ghost.

-Rook to knight 6.

Checkmate.

-Hello?

-I'm stuck out at the house.

I can't find my car keys. I've looked everywhere.

-Where's Darcy?

-We were talking, and she fell asleep.

She's saying some weird things to me, Ted.

-What's she saying?

-Well, first of all, she told me how she was psychic.

And the next thing you know, she pulls out a glass eye

she says belongs to the man that killed your wife.

Only she says he didn't kill your wife.

She says it's that creepy, orderly you work with-- Ivan.

-She said what?

-She said that Ivan killed Dani.

-What did she say exactly?

-That. Exactly what I'm telling you.

-There's something going on there.

She's clearly not well.

I'm going to talk to her

and see if she'll agree to get checked out.

-I don't want to stay here with her, Ted.

I'm thinking about calling someone to pick me up.

-And you've looked everywhere for your keys?

-For all I know, she took them.

And she's asking a lot of questions

about when you and I got together.

It has me on edge.

-Look, she's not going to do anything.

And even if she wanted to,

I think you could handle one small blind woman.

Just say good night, go to bed, and lock the door.

I'm going to make some calls, see if I can get out of here.

-Do, because she's freaking me out with all this stuff.

How does she even know Ivan?

-I don't know. I'll be there as quick as I can.

Shit.

-Put them back!

-What is this?

-Put them all back now.

-Good night.

-What?

-This is Dani Timmis coming at you

from the wilds of our unfurnished sitting room.

We've set up a little tent here downstairs

instead of going back to the city,

and I find it kind of cozy and romantic.

What do you think, Ted?

-It's fucking freezing. -Come on, show us your face.

Let's see how, uh, happy you look.

Oh!

This is Dani Timmis coming at you

from the wilds of our unfurnished sitting room.

We've set up a little tent here downstairs

instead of going back to the city,

and I find it kind of cozy and romantic.

What do you think, Ted?

-Run.

Run!

Darcy.

Darcy?

Who's there?

Is there someone in...

-All right. Uh... Yeah.

This is some classic haunted house ghost movie stuff.

And the director, he gets jump scares

with just the slightest reveal.

Really skillful stuff.

That's Gwilym Lee as Ted Timmis,

the widower psychiatrist, very accomplished English actor,

best known for playing Brian May in "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Remember that? The Freddie Mercury biopic.

Trained at the Guildhall School in London.

They've turned out a lot of fine classical actors

like Peter Cushing, Daniel Craig, Ewan McGregor,

Orlando Bloom.

And that beefy orderly he's playing chess with,

that's Steve Wall, the lead singer and songwriter

who founded the Irish band The Stunning.

Have you heard of The Stunning?

He wrote that song "Heads Are Gonna Roll."

How appropriate. He wrote "Heads Are Gonna Roll."

-It's appropriate. -Anyway,

they're having kind of an Irish horror moment over there now.

County Wicklow, where "Rawhead Rex" was filmed.

They've always called itself the Hollywood of Ireland,

mostly because of big budget movies filmed there

like "Excalibur" and "Star Wars",

Harry Potter films there.

And really going back into the 40s and 50s.

"The Quiet Man" was filmed there.

And partly because there's an actual town in County Wicklow

called Hollywood, population 85.

Nothing's ever been filmed there,

but they erected an exact replica

of the Hollywood sign in a field outside town

and that's now become a tourist attraction.

But more recently we've had "The Devil's Doorway",

found footage film about horrors in a Catholic asylum.

Um, these are all Irish.

Uh, "The Hallow", fairy tale ghost story.

"The Hole In The Ground." Sinkhole horror.

Lee Cronin made that movie.

Resulted in, they just hired him for "Evil Dead Rise."

"You Are Not My Mother",

which starred Carolyn Bracken, the star of the film

we're watching, psychological horror.

Last year, "Abigail", written by Irishman Stephen Shields

about the creepy preteen ballerina girl.

I actually love that movie, but I'm in the minority.

-I love it, too. -You love it, too?

-Yeah. It's great. -"Citadel."

Psychological horror.

"Vivarium." Sci-fi horror.

So a lot of people went to Ireland for the locations,

but once they got there,

they found a filmmaking community

that seems to be growing.

But, Darcy, we got sidetracked.

We're not doing enough shots

because you're over there doing psychometry on my bolo ties.

-I'm doing shots, too.

-I haven't noticed you doing shots.

-You haven't noticed my shots because you're doing the shots.

-True. And you know something?

-What?

-Jager? Not that bad.

-Wow.

You're a convert to frat boy liqueur. Ha!

-Ah, not really, but I'm ready for another Underberg,

I'll tell you that. -Oh, no you're not.

-Yeah, and I was searching for another

Celtic god we could honor.

And this time I'm going --

I'm going with a goddess. -Okay.

The goddess Áine.

And you're gonna like her, Darcy. She's all about sex.

-Oh, then I'm there.

-She's the most radiant of all the females in the world.

-Radiant. -I think they mean hot.

She's pure sex.

She comes up out of the ground,

and she orders everybody to pair off and make the land fertile.

because the way you make the land fertile

is you make sure you are fertile.

And the way you do that is you make the sign

of the Macedonian velociraptor underneath the nearest hawthorn,

which is the fairy tree that blooms on Witches Night.

-Are you adding things to the ritual?

-Like what?

-Macedonian velociraptor?

-Well, I'm trying to describe the frenzy

that awaits us in the woodlands.

All the wild stuff occurs in the woodlands.

-Let's go to the woodlands.

-Áine literally carries the fire to the woodlands.

-Okay, but when do I go to the Brocken?

-They're not big on mountains in Ireland, Darcy.

The tallest one, has a cross on it.

Nothing pagan there.

-I'm just -- I'm doing the Brocken, man.

-Okay, do the Brocken later.

But first we got to get nasty in the woodlands.

-Sláinte! -Another one?

-Whoo! Sláinte!

-Darcy, you got to match the shots.

If I do a shot, you got to do a shot.

-You did that too fast. I don't...

Okay, I got one. All right.

Prost! Prost!

Because I'm going back to the Broken! Prost!

Prost me. -You really love the Broken.

-I love the Broken!

You have no idea.

-I know you ruled it last year.

-Where were you when you wore that last bolo?

-That one that has the little...

-The big old eagle one.

-Tulsa.

-Do what you did in Tulsa,

and we will rule the Brocken together.

Trust.

-Darcy, please stop doing that.

Don't do that psychometry stuff.

-No way. Do you ever take those bolos off?

-Why do you ask me that? -Do you sleep in those bolos?

Just saying.

-What happened to the -- Oh, there it is.

-Darcy.

What are you doing up here?

Yana's not answering her phone. Where is she?

-Dani frightened her off.

She always was the more level headed one.

-Yana called me earlier.

She said you told her a man that works at the hospital

with me killed Dani.

-Yes. A porter named Ivan.

Do you know who I'm talking about?

-There is an orderly that works with me called Ivan.

-That's him.

-Olin Boole killed Dani.

The week he was released, he came out here

and he killed her.

-He came out here to save her,

and I dragged him from his bed, and I killed him.

I'm going to pay for that.

-Darcy, is something affecting your thinking?

Dani told me what you were like when you were ill--

seeing and hearing things that weren't there,

believing things that weren't real.

This is not real.

Why don't you come with me to the hospital.

I'll arrange a scan, and we can see what's going on.

-To the hospital, where you'll have me committed.

No.

-You know, I loved your sister, so I owe it to her to help you.

Yes, I could have you committed if I thought you were a danger

to yourself or to someone else.

-I am a danger... to Ivan.

So if you're going to send someone out here to get me,

send him.

-Where is all this coming from?

Ivan and Dani never even met. Why would he kill her?

-Because you asked him to.

-Excuse me?

-"I don't love you anymore. I've met someone else.

I'm sorry."

That was all you had to say.

She would have cried, and it would have been

difficult, but I would have been there,

and she would have gotten over you!

But, instead, you had Ivan come here and kill her.

-So, she'll be at the house on Friday?

-Yes.

-Why don't you just divorce her?

-She loves me.

She'll never get over me.

And when she finds out about Yana,

there's no way we'll get to keep the house,

and I have sunk everything into that place.

This is the only way.

-Why don't you wait until the place is furnished?

Then it could look like a robbery turned violent.

-No, no. It'll be cleaner this way.

Especially if you can do it when she's inside the tent.

Try to do it when she's sleeping.

-What if the motive was sexual?

It happens all the time. The adrenaline kicks in.

You have your hand on their throat.

-No.

No, nothing like that is to happen.

I want it to be quick and painless.

-But let's just say it happens to go that way.

-Nothing like that is to happen to her.

Do you understand me?

You just go in there, you do it,

and you get out of there as quickly as possible.

I mean it.

I don't want her hurt.

-Just dead.

-I had planned to kill you,

but instead, I think it would be worse to expose you.

I'm going to see to it that you lose everything--

your girlfriend,

your job, this house,

your freedom.

-Detective Peter Minehan.

He was the police officer in charge of Dani's case, yes?

Do you remember him?

-Yes. -Do you trust him?

-Yes. -Okay, good. Let's start there.

Let's call him, and you can tell him everything

that you've just told me and see what his reaction is.

He'll tell you it was Olin that killed your sister,

and he'll walk you through the evidence again.

You know, if you're still not happy,

then have him go question Ivan.

Come on, let's call him.

-You call him, you tell him what you did,

and then call Ivan and send him out here so I can kill him!

-I don't have his number here.

Uh, I'm going to leave my phone here, where there's signal,

I'm going to go back to the office,

and I'm going to call Detective Minehan

and tell him to call you here, alright?

If you don't answer, I'll tell him to come out here

and talk to you in person.

But, please, when the phone rings, pick it up.

-I had planned to kill you,

but instead, I think it would be worse to expose you.

I'm going to see to it that you lose everything.

-When the phone rings, pick it up.

-Yeah, the old trap door trick.

It works really well on blind people.

So Ted is pretty despicable, killing people left and right.

But Darcy's not so hot in the ethics department herself

since we now know that that nasty smudge

on the psych ward floor was the one eyed Olin Boole,

and she's the one who put it there.

And you know, Darcy, -Yes?

-We are getting very close to the end

of our final Walpurgisnacht Witches Night special.

-Aw, don't say that. -And I don't --

Well, I don't think anybody else is going to do this.

Nobody else is going to pay us to put out propaganda

for the pagan holiday

nobody in America wants to celebrate.

-Next year, we are going to go to the actual Brocken

and do the show.

-Why?

So we can stream it for three professors

of German folklore sipping espressos at a Vienna cafe?

-That was really specific. -Ah, you know what I mean.

I'm afraid this whole April 30th,

May 1st holiday is going the way of the feast

of the circumcision.

-I'm not familiar with that one.

-Millions of people around the world used to observe that day,

the day when they surgically trimmed the penis of Jesus.

The feast of the circumcision.

-And what day was that?

-January 1st is when they used to do it.

-So why did they stop doing it?

-Conflicted with the Rose Bowl.

No, actually, I think they decided

since Jesus never used his penis,

-Okay. -...it's sort of

an empty ritual.

Think about it.

I mean, we'd have to ask the Pope,

but the Catholic clergy fears the penis.

-Oh, do not go there, please. Please.

-Fine with me. -Okay.

-I'm just saying this is one of those celebrations

destined to Peter out.

Like the festival of Jesus' peter petered out.

-Okay, I just think it's all too complicated.

-What? What -- you mean Walpurgisnacht?

Dress like a witch.

Do witchy things, get drunk and party.

What's complicated?

-The way you described it constantly is complicated.

-Sláinte!

Prost!

Isn't that it, Prost?

-I think so.

That's where we're going with, Prost!

-Or as my daddy used to say -- boy, did I drink all those?

-Oh, yeah. -As my daddy used to say,

may it go down smooth and not come out talking.

-Which one's that?

-Actually, I think a little everything

has been poured in here, Underberg,

Becherovka, Jagermeister.

And you know what that means.

-Oh, they're going to be throwing up on us,

like, any minute now.

-That's 119.

-Mm-hmm. Wow.

-119.

-Wow.

-119 herbs and roots and fruits and spices

because there's 20 in the actual Becherovka.

But we poured Underberg, so there's 43 in Underberg.

Jagermeister shows up with a full marching band,

56 botanical ingredients, and in just one.

-Are you sure that that adds up to 119, though?

-No, but I'll count again.

It's a lot. -It's a lot.

-I'll tell you after the creepy

but very satisfying conclusion to "Oddity."

We have a job here.

Roll it. -Roll it.

-We should definitely have more Irish movies

because the Irish know their shots.

-Yeah, they drink Guinness.

-Actually, they drink Powers, too.

-What's Powers?

-You know, that's the best Irish whiskey.

-Oh, I feel like 50% of the Irish diet is Guinness.

If you order a beer by just saying, "Hey, give me a pint",

they assume it's a Guinness.

-And the other 50% of their diet is potatoes, right?

No, what they drink is Powers or Jameson.

Uh, you know,

whatever year it was that Ireland played Italy in

New York in the World Cup, so I was in New York,

and the Irish fans showed up a week early,

and they drank from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m.

because that's the bar hours, every day,

because they needed four hours a day for sleep.

And then the city sold out

of Jameson, Powers, Redbreast 12, Black Bush.

The bars did not sell out of Guinness.

-Uh, that's because they were on vacation.

They brush their teeth with Guinness.

-Okay, well, you're the Irish person.

-Yeah. -I do remember when

the Irish national team beat Italy,

they decided to stay another week.

And the NYPD overtime bill set all time records.

And I admire that.

I'm telling you, Irish, the Irish are the answer.

The Irish are the answer to reviving Beltane

in one form or another.

-The Irish are the answer to most things, I'd say.

-You need to stay on topic, Darcy.

We have a movie to finish.

And are we running out of fire water?

I could be losing count,

but seems like we're missing a few bottles here.

We had at least more -- We had at least

six more shot glasses.

-Hey, Doc.

-You said you didn't talk to her.

-What do you mean?

-Dani's sister, Darcy.

You said he didn't speak to her.

-I didn't.

-Well, you spoke to someone, because we have a problem.

-Yes? -I found your phone.

-And? -It's broken.

Seems like it had a fall, just like you thought.

-Is it still working?

For now.

But I don't think it can be fixed.

-Are you sure?

-It's beyond repair.

-Hey.

Don't worry.

It's nearly over.

-We... are... connected.

Where were you? Why am I here?

What's this about?

-Based on your prior convictions

and my recommendation,

it was decided that this was the best place for you

until you were in a fit state to talk.

-Your recommendation?

-What happened at the house?

-Someone attacked me.

-Who?

-I-I couldn't see.

It was dark.

-You know, Darcy sent us this

bizarre gift of a large wooden man.

When you woke up, you told the nurse

that a man made of wood came to life and attacked you.

-Yes.

-What do you mean "yes"?

-That's what happened.

-If that thing was alive,

how is it that I was able to drag it outside

and burn it without it struggling or screaming in pain

when I set it on fire?

-You burnt it?

-It burned down quietly to a pile of ash.

The nurse also said that you requested a priest

and that you asked her not to tell me that.

Why do you want to see a priest?

Why do you want to see a priest?

-I want to confess. -Confess to what?

-To all the things I've done.

-Oh, you've done a lot of things, Ivan.

You tell a priest just one of the things you've done,

and he'll either convince you to go to the police

or he'll go there himself.

You'll spend the rest of your life in prison.

-It's better than forever in hell.

-There's no such thing as forever

and no such place as hell.

-I won't tell them anything about you.

I'll tell them I killed your wife because I wanted to.

-People will question how I failed to recognize

such an obvious psychopath and why I discharged it early.

Why I befriended it and employed it.

It'll make me look like I'm not very good at my job.

The one good thing about working in a place like this...

...is that no one really asks any questions

except on the rare occasion

that one patient died violently at the hands of another.

But even then, as I've always believed,

there's nothing that can't be explained.

-No, no, please.

-So, I'm not sure what part of that you're not understanding.

If I don't return your calls,

it means I don't want to speak to you.

And if you think I'm ever going to set foot

in that haunted house of yours again,

then you're fucking crazier than your patients.

I mean, the fact that you have no problem staying out there

where two people have now died is just so weird.

Do not call me again.

♪ You never knew ♪

♪ How it would feel ♪

♪ To be left all alone ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know, now you know, oh ♪

♪ Now that you're on your own, oh ♪

♪ You broke my heart ♪

♪ Now someone else ♪

♪ Has thrown your love in the sea ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know, now you know, oh ♪

♪ What you did to me ♪

♪ While you're drying those teardrops ♪

♪ Praying your heart will heal ♪

♪ Think of the way it used to be ♪

♪ With me, when your love was real ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Then come to me ♪

♪ And I'll hold you close ♪

♪ Just like I used to do ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know, now you know, oh ♪

♪ That I still love you ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

♪ Now you know, now you know, oh, oh ♪

♪ That I still love you ♪

-I love that ending. I love the whole sequence.

The wooden man coming to life as Darcy plucks at her chest.

That's Ivan de Wergifosse, professional stunt man

inside the movable wooden man getup.

He qualified for the job mostly by being beefy

and 6'4", and then the bellboy payoff.

A lot of people who like the film

do not like the bellboy part.

They feel like it's not earned and it's too abrupt.

They want one more beat to see what the bellboy does to Ted.

But I think it's better this way because we know

it's going to be excruciatingly painful, whatever it is.

So "Oddity" made $1.8 million at the box office,

most of that at North American art houses,

which is pretty dang good for an indie film.

What do you think, Darcy?

-Well, I love the wooden man and the blind psychic witch,

of course.

I would have really liked more action and more on screen kills.

-The theme of the movie seems to be

that no murder can ever be covered up.

The universe conspires to punish evil.

-Yeah, right. -You don't buy that?

You don't buy that evil is always punished?

-Do you?

-No, but works well for this movie

because it doesn't matter how smart the evil Ted is,

he can avoid any detective and any lawyer,

but he can't avoid a psychic detective

who's willing to get nasty.

And speaking of getting nasty, I'm a little wobbly.

-You are? -I think.

-You are.

-But I am ready for the woodland revels.

-Okay, but before that, let's do a mail bag.

-Hm. Yeah.

-Oh, come on, just make it something easy, okay?

-Uh, no promises. -Oh, God.

-We don't have that much time left

to thank the mutant family for all the years

that they've been supporting us.

And it's letters like this one.

-Oh, man, don't even finish that sentence.

-It's from Olivia Steele of Stockton, California.

-Darcy, I'm drunk. I don't think I can do this.

-If you weren't drunk, you'd be able to stop me, so huh.

-"Dear Mr. Joe, Bob Briggs and Mr. Darcy, the mail girl."

There's a bunch of eight by tens.

-Oh, you only hold them up for you.

-A bunch of eight by tens that go with the letters.

I'll take those. -Here, I'll do that one.

-Um, "My name is Olivia Steele.

My husband would be greatly upset if I didn't mention

that I am a horror focused voice actress

who works the indie scene, mainly with video games

and horror narration YouTube channels.

I'm writing to you

both today to let you know we have lost a member

of the mutant family."

Darcy, I knew you were going to do something like this.

-Keep reading. -Oh, "Josias Joe Hernandez,

my husband,

passed away in the early morning hours of July 12, 2025.

He had become very ill very fast after being diagnosed

with what turned out to be esophageal cancer.

On his last evening,

my husband, his brothers,

their wives and myself

crowded around the small hospital room watching

The Last Drive In 'Werewolf Night' off an iPad."

I do remember that, we skipped July 4th

so that we could do the live feed on July 11th.

Yeah, he died on July 12th.

Um...

"We chatted about movies,

and when he was asked by one of my sisters in law

why he loved the show so much,

he answered, there is so much bullshit in the world.

It's nice to come together for a few hours to laugh

and forget outside troubles.

He had always said he didn't want a funeral,

but instead a celebration of life

to remember all the good times.

It was a wonderful, bittersweet time

where many great memories of Joe were shared."

You can show those pictures of Joe, I guess.

-Showing all of them.

-Yeah.

-"And at the end of the event,

we showed The Last Drive In episode of

"Dark Night of the Scarecrow", and it was a hit.

Joe was a kind and hilariously goofy guy.

Um, he saw the value in the underdog.

Loved fiercely, gave unconditionally.

Uh, made absolutely unbearable horse jokes to annoy me

because according to him,

what's the point in being married

if you can't annoy your wife?"

There he is with Tom Savini.

-I know.

-"And he believed that in order to have good taste,

you have to understand and appreciate the bad.

This same man would often put on the giddiest feminine voice

and flail his arms around,

quoting 'Daughters of Darkness'.

Tomorrow night.

That was the first Last Drive In movie Joe played for me

and it was truly a game changer.

And now I've made it my mission to carry on the Last Drive In

spirit for our little family."

I think "Daughters of Darkness"

was part of our original 13 movie marathon, wasn't it?

-Keep going, keep going. -This is a long one.

-Yes, but come on.

-It's just one punch to the gut after another.

-I know, but...

-"Werewolf Night" on his last night alive, Darcy.

-Okay, why do I do this to me?

-"Dark Night of the Scarecrow" at his funeral.

I mean, "Daughters of Darkness" as his gateway drug.

-Just keep going, keep going.

-"The Last Drive In" became a household staple.

Whenever a new episode was announced,

we would both be endlessly excited.

I know Joe will still be watching with me

in the years to come.

Being a part of this community that is this diverse

has been so wonderful,

and seeing how overjoyed people become just

to watch a forgotten gem from decades past is so beautiful.

One of Joe's final wishes was that I write into the show,

and I hope this letter resonates with other mutants out there.

Life is fleeting. It goes by so fast.

This upcoming December would have marked 10 years together,

and we just celebrated our fifth anniversary in February.

But I wouldn't trade that time for anything

except maybe more time with Joe.

Tell your family and friends

you love them whenever you say goodbye.

Do that thing you've been wanting to do,

meaning to do, or been putting off.

Go out and make that movie.

I wanted to thank you both for the impact

you had on two crazy kids from Stockton, California,

whose dream was to help keep the drive in

going by opening up a non-profit movie theater here

in Stockton to help a community riddled with violence,

to give kids a safe space after school,

to create an environment designed for talking

about media,

for families to gather, for people to show their work.

We had so many plans.

I'm still hopeful I can make this happen someday.

For Joe's memory, rest in peace, Joe.

Though we may die, the drive in never will.

Thank you so much.

Olivia Steele, Stockton, California.

PS do you have any horse jokes?

Joe specifically loved using horse jokes to annoy me.

We'd love to hear your best horse."

Is that a thing? Horse jokes. -I assume you have some

horse jokes.

-Jokes about horses or really bad puns.

-You know? -Yes, please, give us.

Thanks for sharing Joe's story, Olivia.

Uh, once again, I have to say,

the community that has been built up around this show

since we first did the marathon in 2018,

it's really changed my life.

So I appreciate it when someone says

that they went on that journey with us.

And, Darcy, we are still doing woodland revels.

-Yes, and then we are conquering the Brocken together

on behalf of the mutants.

-Yes, we are, and that's it for me, Joe Bob Briggs,

speaking for myself and for Darcy, the mail girl,

asking you to remember that time when you were little

and you'd fall on the trampoline

and everybody would keep jumping so you couldn't get back up

because that was your training for adult life.

And the drive in will never die.

Okay. Let's see what I got.

-All right, let's go.

-Oh. -Horse jokes.

-Why was the horse able to get a job?

Because he was stable. Is that how you do these?

Is that a horse joke? -Wait, wait, wait.

Everything has to be funny.

No, okay, try it again.

-I'm new to horse jokes. All right.

-Okay. Got it. -Um...

-Just we want to hear it again. Do it again.

-Why was the horse able to get a job?

-Why? -Because he was stable.

-What? Oh, my God! Wow. We didn't get it before, so.

Okay.

-Why do horses make terrible dancers?

Because they have two left hooves.

-What? That's crazy. Whoo!

-What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neiiiigh-bor.

-Ah! Come on, come on. That was good.

That was good.

-Uh, it's a very specific sub genre of jokes, isn't it?

Why do horses watch horror films?

They want to have night mares.

No. It's funny.

-Who is the horse's favorite painter?

Mo-neiiiigh.

-Every time you neigh, you get a high five.

Good job.

-Oh, really? -Yes.

-Uh, then where do horses go for fun?

-Oh, nowhere.

-Co-neigh Island. -Alright!

-Okay, only one more.

-Um, what story do you tell to a runaway horse?

A tale of whoa!

I think that's enough.

-It's good. -Don't you think that's enough

Horse jokes? -Yes, we do.

I mean, honestly, though, could we ever have enough horse jokes?

-I think probably. -I think we did okay.

-Prost. -Prost.

-Sláinte. -Sláinte.

-Sláinte? -I don't know.

-Ah!

-And as my granddaddy used to say,

let's drink like the rent's due.

-Whew. -Come on, Mr. Wickie. Oh!

Whoa! Which one was that?

Mr. Wickie, come on over.

-Oh, my.

-Maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

-Poor Mr. Wickie.

-♪ We are drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ Drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ We are not like other people ♪

♪ We are sick -♪ Sick ♪

-♪ We are disgusting -♪ Disgusting ♪

-♪ We believe in, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ If life had a vomit meter ♪

♪ We'd be off the scale -♪ Off the scale ♪

-♪ As long as one drive-in remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party like jungle animals ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

pass