Original subtitles

Come on in, Ellie.

Have a seat.

Okay,

so I'm just going to ask you a few questions before we actually

do the massage.

Let's see, how old are you?

I said you were 28.

Do you have any injuries that I should know about?

I'm just carrying a lot of tension around lately.

A lot of tension, okay.

Have you broken any bones or had any joint problems prior?

No, no joint problems over here. Okay.

Okay.

And you said you're under a lot of stress, so tell me, like, what happened.

are you feeling stressed?

Yeah, it's just, you know, personal stuff.

You know, just life. All right. And where are you feeling the pain in your

Like through my shoulders, like right up here.

Okay, right here? Yeah, like right there. And my neck. Uh -huh.

And, you know, my upper back. Your upper back, mostly here.

A little in my lower back, but it's like I carry all my stress around right

around here. Okay.

Well, I'll tell you what we do.

I'm going to let you get dressed.

What I want you to do is just kind of let everything out of your mind. Just

of let your worries go. Uh -huh.

When I come back, call me in when you're ready. Okay.

And we will begin the massage. Now, the way that I do the massage is a little

bit, it's about new age. A lot of the old massage people, they kind of do it a

very, I should say, it's very, it doesn't really do anything for you. So

massage is actually going to be able to help clear all those nerve centers that

are holding all that tension.

Okay. We're going to have a good time.

Okay. All right? So you just call me when you're ready.

Okay, I'm ready.

Excellent.

Okay, so your job today is just to breathe.

I just want you to concentrate on breathing in and out.

With each breath, I want you to let your worries leave your body,

leave your mind.

Yeah.

Yeah. Easier said than done. I know.

I'm actually going to have to bring this off your back. Okay. You just need to

cover your butt in there.

Okay. What I want you to do is just slide your body up and place your face

here in that cushion.

There you go.

You have a great physique.

Thank you. I do a lot of working out.

Are you like a trainer or something?

I teach a pole dance class.

Yeah, it's a really good core workout.

Yeah, good.

Get that hair out of the way.

Yeah, actually...

I just had my boobs done, actually twice this year, and I just had the last one

done about two months ago, so just be careful with the pressure on my upper

because I don't want to squish them too much. Yeah, it must have been expensive.

It wasn't so bad, actually.

My boyfriend at the time, he paid for them.

He likes really big, you know, really big boobs.

Where's your good taste?

Yeah, yeah, you know,

I'm really stressed out because we just broke up.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah. Was he like somebody big in business, or was he like a... He was

in the entertainment industry, musician.

Oh, musician.

Yeah. Like a rock star.

I guess you could call him a rock star. star and he's been a really popular

band. He's not one of those DJs like he spins like this. No. No, he actually

plays an instrument.

Oh, so he's a rock star then. He's a real musician.

Alright.

Yeah, but um... Anybody I know?

Uh, yeah, you might actually know him, but I don't really want to say his name

right now. Oh, okay. Totally understand.

Well, you know, a lot of the pressure points in the foot actually could be

manipulated to help relieve stress in your upper back and your lower back and

stuff like that. Yeah, I've heard about that reflexology thing, but I've never

tried it before.

You have great feet, by the way. Thank you.

The really high arches make it easy to walk around in those big stripper heels

all day.

Ah, yeah.

Viola, girl, and big tall stripper heels.

Yeah.

How are you feeling?

Feeling relaxed? A little bit better, yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

I feel like my chakras are getting back in alignment.

Alright, I'm just going to open up your legs just a bit. We're going to work on

the sides of the knees.

Don't you think? Oh, is that a little too high for you? Yeah. Yeah. Most

therapists don't go that high. The thing is, is that everybody looks at the butt

as like kind of being a sexual thing. It's actually part of the body. So a lot

of that stress that you feel all gets channeled through this area. So we got

work it out.

It's nothing sexual. I'm not like trying to come on to you or anything like

that.

Okay.

All right.

Seems like I carry my tension in my butt.

Yeah. A lot of people do. Especially people that sit a lot during the day.

A lot of that tension gets trapped there. And then they start having lower

pain. They start having kidney problems, liver problems, stuff like that.

It's important to really look at the body as one whole organism and not just

different parts.

Okay. Is that New Age philosophy?

Yeah.

You know, I actually, uh, I don't want to get oil on your really, it seemed to

be expensive panties. You want to take these off?

Uh, sure. Okay.

Yeah. There you go.

Okay.

There you go.

Put those over there. Uh, you know what? Let's turn you around.

Bring your legs down. There you go.

Actually, slide back down.

This direction?

Uh -huh.

Okay,

so you just took my panties off because you were going to work on my butt, and

now you just put me over?

Well, I'm actually going to work on your hip flexors, too, from this side, which

are right here, right in this groin area.

Yeah. Yeah.

Sweetheart, I've seen breasts before. Again, you can't look at these as sexual

organs. You're just part of the entire organism.

So, listen, and I see that you have implants, too, so we should actually be

massaging them so we can prevent that encapsulation that happens.

I'm sure your doctor told you about this. Yeah, I'm aware of capsular

contractions.

Here we go. All right, be careful. They're new.

I guess you have done that before. You got your techniques down, huh?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, I have my technique down with just a little bit of a twist.

I make it my own.

And then I use heat, actually, to help break up.

See?

It helps, doesn't it?

We'll see.

Yeah. If in six months down the road I don't calculate, I'll be very happy

that. You've got great abs, wow.

Thank you. Like I said, pole dancing is a great workout.

Pole dancing.

My grandmother was Polish.

Okay, so now what we're going to do is we're going to work on this area. It

a lot of work, I'm sure, in your core workouts.

What we want to do is we want to help stretch these hip flexors out.

But I know that this is going to be my massage today. I would have shaved.

I would have shaved too.

What I'm going to do is just kind of open up your hips.

A little slight pressure.

Yeah.

You're really close right now.

Anyway. So, my boyfriend is Johnny Black.

What? Johnny Black? Yeah, Johnny Black. You're kidding me. No, I'm not kidding

you. It's my boyfriend. I love him. I got all of his records. That is crazy.

Yeah. You were dating Johnny Black?

Yeah, I guess so. We were just dating for a while, actually.

Can you believe how awesome that wedding was that they had in Malibu?

What wedding are you talking about?

No, he got married.

When? This past weekend in Malibu.

Shut up.

It was all over the news.

Like the internet, TV.

No. I don't... Wait, wait, wait.

I don't know, Amy. I've never heard anything about it. How long did he break

with you?

We just broke up like last week.

Fuck. You know... Maybe he was... Was he seeing this girl while he was

with you?

I mean, he must have been. What a douchebag. You know?

He probably doesn't even know about me. He married her.

How many other girls were there?

I don't know. I mean, I thought I was the only one.

This is exactly... Guys like this give us guys a bad name.

You know?

Listen, I'm so sorry for your loss. You said you saw that on TV.

Yeah, it was all over.

Like the ZMT channel that carries all that. Yeah, I don't watch cable. I don't

watch any of that. Yeah, it was crazy.

What a jerk.

You seem like a really nice girl. I don't know why he would do that to you.

Yeah, how did you not see this on TV? It was like on every channel like around

the clock.

Because I don't watch TV.

You know what, Julie?

You don't watch TV?

Because you told me not to watch TV.

You're like one of 20 people in the nation that doesn't watch TV.

Yeah, he told me not to watch TV because it rots my mind.

He told you not to watch TV?

Yeah. That's an idiot.

Well, there you go. That's why he told you not to watch TV, because he didn't

want you to know about the other girl.

Oh, my God.

Helen, you know, I'm sorry. This is just... You know, I'm so pissed about

I really want to get him back.

I'd be pissed, too.

You know, it's these douchebag rock and roll people that think they can just

like go around and just like do whatever they want to whomever they want and

then like not suffer any of the consequences.

Yeah, somebody needs to teach this guy a lesson. We should go to his house in

Malibu and leave a bag of flaming poop.

That's not how you do things nowadays. No? No. You know what? I have a better

idea. What's that?

Let's turn the tables on him.

I think...

Hear me out.

Let's make a sex tape and leak it to DMT as Johnny's other

girl. Yeah, I've never directed a sex tape before. You don't have to direct

I'll take care of everything. But you know what? It would be so awesome

since I'm undressed right now and you're here and I'm here.

If we had a video camera right now.

We could do this. You want me to be in the sex tape with you? Yeah, you. I can

feel the way you were touching me. You were turned on. Come on. Don't... Well,

listen. I'm not going to deny that I wasn't turned on, but I control my urges

and I try to keep it professional. Okay. Well, hey. Do you have, like, a camera

phone or something around here that we could use to, like, record it?

Oh, yeah.

Actually, I have a...

Yeah, I have a video camera right there. You do?

Yeah, I do. I tape instructional... Tape? Who uses tape anymore?

I record instructional videos on massage.

I see it, but why is the red light blinking right now?

What the huh?

There's a red light on the camera blinking right now. It means it's on.

Oh. Are you recording this the whole time?

No, no. I think maybe... I think I...

I forgot to press stop when I was doing my instructional before you showed up.

Okay. All right. Well, you got the camera. I got the camera, and I have the

security camera here, too.

Huh.

Red light's blinking on that, too.

Oh, yeah.

So,

I mean, does that work for you?

Yeah.

Let's do this.

You want to do this? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it right now.

Okay. Yeah. All right.

Love your positive attitude.

Well, I'm fucking pissed off right now. Yeah.

Let's do this right now.

Okay. Make sure the camera sees it.

Oh, camera's right over there, right? Camera's right there, yeah. Okay. Yeah,

want the camera to see this.

I want them to see Johnny Black's other woman. How good she is at giving head.

I'd love to see.

Fuck.

Oh my god.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes.

Oh my god, that's good.

Oh my

god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh wow.

I can't believe you married that other fucking bitch.

Yeah, what was he thinking?

I know. Some mouth like yours?

No, what a fucking idiot, huh?

He's an idiot. He's going to pay for that.

He doesn't even know what he's missing.

Oh, my God. Yes, baby.

Oh, my God.

I feel good.

Let's take it to the next level.

make a sex tape.

Okay. Yeah.

Alright, I want you to grab a condom. Okay. And you're going to fuck me on the

massage bed.

Okay. Uh -huh. Totally. Okay, do it. Why not? Do it.

You're so hot.

Oh, I'm going to show Tommy.

He's going to teach him to fuck with me.

You dirty asshole.

I also happen to have some lube. That's good, right?

Do you have some lube just like sitting around like that? Well, sometimes I run

out of the oil, so.

Oh, okay.

So it's like you massage people with sex lube.

Well, it's all purpose, actually.

Oh, okay, whatever.

Okay.

All right.

You ready to do this? Let's do it. Let's make a sex tape.

I'm so ready.

Oh.

Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

There's a big difference because it has to look natural. Don't stop. Keep

fucking. Oh, oh, oh, oh, fuck yeah. Fuck my dirty flat hole.

Really? This is what you think is sexy? Well, Johnny liked it.

Come on. You want to be like Johnny, right?

Fucking hot.

Well, that's what happens when you get aroused, but you keep a barrier between

professional, you know? That's what happens.

Yeah, that's what happens.

Screw you, Johnny Black.