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This programme contains
strong language
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Don't look away.
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Don't put that on telly!
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Oo-ar!
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I might just do this all day.
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Argh! This is weird.
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It's so tight.
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ALL EXCLAIM
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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TYPEWRITER DINGS
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Hello. Thank you.
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Welcome to Taskmaster.
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A herd of comedy wildebeest
being whittled down
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00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,719
by the natural selection
of their own incompetence.
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What lies in wait for them
at the watering hole today?
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Oh, let's get in the jape Jeep
and go and find out.
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I hope it's not a comedy crocodile.
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Please welcome Amy Gledhill...
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...Armando Iannucci...
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...Joanna Page,
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Joel Dommett,
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and Kumail Nanjiani.
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And next to me, a man whose
favourite films, he tells me,
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are the Carry On films
because it reminds him
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of a golden time
in mainstream culture -
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when women could be
openly objectified,
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and it was OK to acknowledge
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that some foreign accents
are just hilarious.
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It's little Alex Horne!
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Thank you. I didn't...
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You're paraphrasing.
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Let's get going. Si, Senor Davies.
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And the prize task category
this week is
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the most unquestionable
thing of beauty.
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GREG WHISTLES
Ooh!
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Yes, it's clear-cut,
it's unquestionable,
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and yet he will question them
and judge them
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and give maximum points
for the most unquestionable one,
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such is his right.
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And that was a reading from
Corinthians chapter 9, verse 18.
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Let's do this.
Who shall we have first?
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Joanna Page.
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My thing of unquestionable beauty
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is unquestionable evidence of
the fact that I was voted
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Wales' Sexiest Woman in 2009.
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Whoo!
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Wow. Thank you very much.
Yeah. Great.
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This is what she's brought in
to represent unquestionable beauty.
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GASPING
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You might think this is shallow, right?
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But this isn't mine.
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This is taken from
my mother's scrapbook. Mm-hm.
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And this is going on, like,
20 years old,
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and she still has this, and she
has this because she's proud of me.
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Yes. And if this doesn't say about
the unquestionable beauty of
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a mother's love for her daughter,
then I don't know what does.
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And it gets me here. Wow.
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Yeah. Thank you.
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I think that is a very strong start.
Thank you.
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Right, we're off. Kumail.
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I brought in something
that I find to be very beautiful
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and I cannot believe
my friend found it in the trash.
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Oh, what? Look at this, Greg.
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It's a painting
that is absolutely gorgeous.
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I mean, it just looks like this
ghostly child being held captive.
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It's grotesque. Thank you.
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00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,959
Can we look at the back of it,
please? Yeah.
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The back looks like this.
It says, "T-Payne."
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Why does it say the name of
the King of Auto-Tune on the back?
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Because it's art, Greg.
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And I think the painting's haunted.
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I've been trying to get rid of it
for years.
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I didn't even ship it here,
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it was just in my hotel room
when I checked in.
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I really hope I lose this episode.
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Well, you're off to a great start.
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Armando.
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It's... My wife took it. She's
normally a very good photographer.
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She said it was an accident.
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Yeah, this is a photo of Armando.
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So...
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I think it's a happy accident,
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because it actually shows just
how unquestionably beautiful
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the whole of planet Earth is -
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the nature, the sky -
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and how unbelievably insignificant
we are as part of it.
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Or... I don't know how insignificant
the haunting "egg island" is.
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Two left, Greg. Amy.
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I have brought a painting
of Yorkshire... Ah. Oh.
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...because I think
Yorkshire's beautiful,
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00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,879
and I've made a very special frame
which I'd like to show you,
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00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,119
which I think makes
it even more beautiful.
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00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,360
Well, take a look at this.
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Good.
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Who did the painting?
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My friend Poppy Hillstead.
From Yorkshire?
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Yeah. Ey up!
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00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,479
I like it very much.
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00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,359
Joel, what have you brought us?
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00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,919
I've also gone for a painting, Amy.
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Take a look at this, Greg.
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It's pretty good.
I know what you've done.
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You know what I've done?
If you've not guessed...
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I know what he's... ..that is
your head, and that's your body.
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00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,199
Oh, my... Oh, is it your body?
It's Kumail's body
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and it's Greg's head,
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00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,319
and that's little Alex Horne
on the pants.
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00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,279
Yeah, I... I see that.
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00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,280
You and I make a great hybrid.
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00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,799
Oh, it's sort of so sad,
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because I'll never get to see
that in real life.
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00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,120
Really, it's just that head
on top of a bag of suet.
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Right, do you want to score
these beautiful things?
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Yeah. It's tough... Mm.
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...because I was quite touched
by all but one.
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So, there's one to come out.
And you'll thank me for that.
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I think there's got to be a gap
between creepy child and the others.
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I'm going to give muscly me
three points.
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00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,399
Muscly me.
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00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,919
OK, so three points to Joel.
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I'm going to give Armando's
head island four points.
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Thank you.
The general populace would love
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00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,839
the bond between
mother and daughter,
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00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:46,159
and the people of Yorkshire would
love to be celebrated by a picture
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surrounded by Yorkshire puddings,
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and thus, five points each
to the two ladies.
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There we go. Five points to Amy,
five points to Joanna.
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Let us task.
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Yes, and we begin with something
you and I struggle with
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00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,839
before every recording, Greg.
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Kissing? No! It's what to wear.
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What to wear!
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Amy. Hello!
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Big deep breath. In you go.
AMY INHALES
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OK. Ooh, echo.
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Do you like the acoustics?
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00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,759
Yeah. Whoa.
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00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,800
Yeah, it makes my skull vibrate.
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00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,559
Is it warm in there?
It's warm and loud.
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I feel like I should be
grabbing money
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00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,319
at the end of The Crystal Maze.
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What's that?
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Oh, it's another show. No.
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It was popular before this one was.
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I want to keep the seals.
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I'm going to keep
all these seals for eBay.
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00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,919
It's lovely and sunny. Oh, my God.
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"Choose how much of Alex's bowling
outfit to wear throughout part two."
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00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,359
{\an8}"If you choose Alex's
bowling overalls,
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00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,119
{\an8}"your final time will be reduced
by two minutes."
151
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,679
{\an8}"If you choose
Alex's bowling gloves,
152
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,879
{\an8}"your final time will be reduced
by three minutes."
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00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,879
{\an8}"If you choose Alex's
bowling glasses,
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{\an8}"your time will be reduced
by four minutes."
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00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,839
"If you choose Alex's bowling shoes,
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00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:21,319
{\an8}"your final time will be reduced
by five minutes."
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00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,919
{\an8}"If you choose to wear
Alex's whole bowling outfit,
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{\an8}"your final time
will be reduced by 20 minutes."
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"You have one minute."
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"Your time starts now."
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The more I choose,
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my final time will be reduced
by 20 minutes, so that's good.
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I want to reduce my time? Who knows?
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There may be a hindrance.
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There may be.
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{\an8}I'm going to go
for bowling overalls.
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{\an8}Bowling overalls.
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00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,239
{\an8}I'm going to put
your bowling glasses on. OK.
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00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,759
{\an8}So I will wear the shoes
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{\an8}and the gloves.
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{\an8}Your time will be reduced
by eight minutes.
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00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,880
I'm going to go the
whole outfit, then, am I?
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00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:03,439
Yeah.
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I choose to wear your whole outfit.
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{\an8}Good stuff.
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{\an8}I'll bring it to you now.
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SHE GIGGLES
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Oh, God.
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00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,439
So who are the two people
that chose the whole outfit?
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00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,679
What's your thinking with that?
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00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,119
This is quite interesting
about this show.
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You don't... It makes you realise
who you are as a person...
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00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,279
Yeah. Mm. ..you know? Yeah.
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00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:29,839
And I've realised
I'm really excited... Yeah. Yeah.
185
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,200
...and I'm fucking stupid.
186
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,199
Let's see what the skittle
outfits did, shall we?
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00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,119
Yes. Well, decisions have been made.
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Will they regret those decisions?
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00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:39,640
Of course they will.
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00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,559
Oh, hi, Joanna. Hello.
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00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,039
You're wearing my bowling glasses.
I am.
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00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,160
They're very nice. Yeah, they help.
193
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,079
I did say
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00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:02,559
there's something Guantanamo
about this whole process, didn't I?
195
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,159
Yeah, I strongly disagree with that.
196
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,239
I think I've got my technique down.
197
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,000
Yeah. And I've never worn these.
198
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,479
You look good. Do you think? Yeah.
199
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,839
You wouldn't lie to me now...?
No, no.
200
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,559
JOEL GRUNTS
Ooh, yeah. Please be careful.
201
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,840
Find and open the task
and give it a good read.
202
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,560
JOANNA CHUCKLES
203
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,239
There we go. Well done.
204
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,800
"Get the bowling ball
in the bucket."
205
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,679
"You must stay onstage
at all times."
206
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:45,439
"There is a two-minute time
penalty..."
207
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,999
"..for any skittle touched."
208
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,599
"And all skittles must be standing
209
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,199
"when the bowling ball
enters the bucket."
210
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,399
"Fastest wins. Your time started
when you stepped on the stage."
211
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,000
Where's the bowling ball? Oh!
212
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,200
All right. Oh, no.
213
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:10,359
The thing I already love about
this group of contestants is that
214
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,039
none of them mind.
215
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,959
Like, when you find out it's
some awful outfit that's going
216
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,679
to make things so much worse,
you're like, "Ha-ha, ha-ha!"
217
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,639
Joanna was just, "Ooh! Ha-ha!"
218
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,879
I got really excited... I know!
219
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,359
...because they were
really good fun to put on. Yeah.
220
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,559
OK, let's bowl.
221
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,680
Well, up first,
it is Amy G and Jo P.
222
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,079
"Get the bowling ball
in the bucket."
223
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,639
JOANNA GIGGLES
224
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,079
On the stage.
It's quite near the skittles.
225
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,479
It's right near the skittles!
226
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,119
Oh, I can...
SHE LAUGHS
227
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,319
I can see it!
228
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,360
Oh, right. OK.
229
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,120
"Get the bowling ball
in the bucket."
230
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,079
{\an8}Oh, shoot! Oh! Oh, my God, no!
231
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,559
No! No!
232
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,799
SLOW MOTION YELP
233
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,679
Oh, my God!
AMY CHUCKLES
234
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:03,999
Oh, no!
235
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,279
Ha! The good news is
you've only touched one skittle.
236
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,359
Oh, my God,
237
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,799
do I have to put all of these
back up for when it goes in?
238
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,039
I think so. OK.
239
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,639
Oh, my God.
240
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,279
This isn't how I expected
this to go.
241
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,000
All right. All right.
242
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,359
Standing them up one at a time.
243
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,879
AMY LAUGHS
Oh.
244
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,959
OK. Oh, my God, no. Don't.
245
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,360
JOANNA LAUGHS
246
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,840
Oh, no, don't.
247
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,000
Oh, no. Don't you... No!
248
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,239
JOANNA LAUGHS
249
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,559
I reckon I'm on
for losing this task.
250
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:46,160
Naughty dogs, running away.
251
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,399
Put those ones there. Three left.
252
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,799
Two left.
253
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:52,800
They're all up.
254
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,920
Stop the clock! Stop the clock.
255
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,839
Sort of quite poetic, the way
that they both just went, "Bfffft!"
256
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,199
It was poetic, yes. Yeah.
257
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,239
But they all had to be standing up
when the ball went in the bucket.
258
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:09,520
And they did badly.
259
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,680
Amy took 32 minutes.
260
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,439
But you saved 20 minutes by wearing
the full outfit. Oh, yes. Whoa.
261
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,119
But you did touch every single
skittle - that's 54 skittles. OK.
262
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,679
Two-minute penalty per skittle,
263
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,999
so that's a punishment
of 108 minutes,
264
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,920
plus the 12 minutes,
so you took exactly two hours.
265
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:29,679
Wow.
266
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,879
Joanna, you actually only took
five minutes, 59 to get... Really?
267
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,639
Wow. And also touched every
single skittle,
268
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,439
so your total time was
109 minutes and 59 seconds.
269
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,599
So you were about
ten minutes quicker.
270
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,959
You're in the lead. Yes.
271
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,079
Now, in a sad reflection of
the state of our society,
272
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,559
we must pause
for some gambling adverts.
273
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,439
I don't... Is it...?
I don't think it's advert time.
274
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,159
Do you want a bet? Yes.
275
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,240
Ha-ha, ha!
LAUGHTER
276
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,999
Hello. We're back.
277
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,319
And it's part two,
278
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,479
and there's a ball that badly needs
to be banged into a bucket.
279
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:12,519
Who's next? That's right, kids,
it's Joel and Armando.
280
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,439
I don't regret my decision.
281
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,119
I bet you're all thinking
that I regret it.
282
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,239
You guys can absolutely do one.
283
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,520
Ooh!
284
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,719
Restrict the number of
skittles that I touch.
285
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,759
ARMANDO CHUCKLES
Do be careful.
286
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,320
{\an8}Two minutes each.
287
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:30,320
See you later.
288
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,280
One. One.
289
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,399
Well, I might do two.
290
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,640
Don't regret it.
291
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,919
This will be very heavy.
292
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,319
Ooh!
Oh!
293
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,360
Where's the...?
294
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,079
Ha, just...
295
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,360
Argh!
296
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,520
Were they standing
when the ball went in the bucket?
297
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,639
You have it on record.
298
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:03,999
You filmed that, didn't you?
299
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,679
Argh! Argh! Argh!
300
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,359
So you're putting your hopes on
301
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,119
the freeze-frame with
that ball going in the bucket,
302
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,879
they're still on their feet,
these skittles?
303
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,480
Yeah. Task complete.
304
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:17,600
Nearly.
305
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:22,840
Two, four.
306
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,079
Ooh. Oh, fuck off.
307
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,559
Shit off.
308
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,440
Shit. Shit.
309
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,040
KLAXON
310
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,720
BELL DINGS
Perfect.
311
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,719
I don't regret it. No?
312
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,200
Ah! I don't regret it.
313
00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,600
Oof. I don't regret it. No.
314
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,680
I don't regret it.
315
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,199
Stop the clock!
316
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,800
Wow. I don't regret it.
317
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,920
AUDIENCE GROANS
318
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,919
What a shit.
319
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,519
Pardon? Yeah. Yeah.
320
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,719
Oh, he is. He is a little shit.
Oh, God, yes.
321
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:41,959
Well,
I put it there to make it easier.
322
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,720
You didn't have to...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
323
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:50,279
Who'd have thought that
your fingers scrabbling around,
324
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,079
trying to get into
a bowling ball would be so tense?
325
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,199
I kind of enjoyed the drama of it,
watching it back.
326
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,759
Oh, Christ,
I was on the edge of my seat!
327
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,479
He was very close
to nailing the task.
328
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,319
You were quick - three minutes, 20,
you got the ball in. Yeah.
329
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,599
And you did offer me
the option of then saying,
330
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,479
"You've got time
to pick them all up,"
331
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,959
and I thought that was funny.
332
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,279
I want to just stop at the funny.
333
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,440
And also, I couldn't be bothered.
334
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,759
Do you regret not regretting it
with the wisdom of hindsight?
335
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,599
I think it was absolutely fine.
336
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,919
You know, it was an adventure,
337
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,759
and hopefully that adventure
didn't cost me too much time.
338
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,519
You were almost exactly
the same as Amy
339
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,439
cos you touched
every single skittle,
340
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,879
you were wearing all the outfits,
so it's minus 20, but plus 108.
341
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,319
And you took 28 minutes
and 46 seconds,
342
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,279
so you were ever
so slightly quicker than Amy.
343
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,359
Mm. I don't regret it.
344
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,879
Well... Yeah.
LAUGHTER
345
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,359
Who's next? Yes, well, there is
only one person left to see.
346
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,799
Kumail...
347
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:42,079
According to his resume, he's agile,
he's strong, he's sexy, he's smart,
348
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,159
and he's made
for exactly this sort of task.
349
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,920
Yes, he's Kumail Nanjiani.
350
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,160
I've touched two skittles. Yes.
351
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,040
OK. So you've not touched that one.
352
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,040
{\an8}Clever...
353
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,600
All right, I'm learning.
354
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:15,960
OK.
355
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:25,919
AUDIENCE OOHING & AHHING
356
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,120
This feels like a big moment.
357
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,920
AUDIENCE GASPS
358
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,720
This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.
359
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,120
KUMAIL GRUNTS
360
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,719
Can I get some water?
361
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,519
I'm getting a cramp, hold on.
362
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,600
Ah!
363
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,559
Can you get me a banana?
364
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,479
Yeah, I'll get you a banana.
365
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,600
I'm just going now.
366
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:31,880
Thank you.
367
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,639
Are you in quite a lot of pain?
368
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,639
Yeah. I could offer you a certain
amount of time per skittle
369
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,359
and I could give you a hand.
370
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,119
You could... What?
371
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,239
You could give me a hand? Well...
372
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:46,839
Yeah, how much...?
If I'm touching them,
373
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,279
that's two minutes per skittle.
I'll give you one minute.
374
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,839
But I don't benefit from that.
375
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,719
85 seconds?
376
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,559
OK. Yeah?
377
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,160
Sure. OK.
378
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,040
85 seconds.
379
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,680
170 seconds.
380
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,439
It...
381
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,759
It did go in the bucket.
382
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:23,999
It's not in the bucket.
383
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,920
It was in the bucket for a moment!
384
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,760
LAUGHTER
385
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,520
I'll do it gingerly this time.
386
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,159
I've stopped the clock, Kumail.
387
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,719
APPLAUSE
388
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,720
Well done.
389
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,679
I had conflicting
emotions watching you.
390
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,039
Like, there were very clever things,
391
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,719
like you came up with the
not-touching-the-skittles system...
392
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,639
Thank you. ..and I thought,
"Ah, that's clever."
393
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,839
And then very quickly after it,
I thought,
394
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,960
"I'm not going to have
to watch him move all of them?!"
395
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,919
I decided
that no matter how long it took,
396
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,399
I was going to get them done,
397
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,359
and I was only going
to touch two skittles.
398
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:07,879
You did touch four in the end,
399
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,319
and you took
nearly 40 minutes to do it.
400
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,959
But because of my bargaining,
401
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,959
the maths means that the 85-second
penalty per skittles that I touched,
402
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,359
you actually got it in
55 minutes and 13 seconds.
403
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,519
You actually were the fastest
out of the five of them.
404
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,839
GASPING
I won that task? WE won this task.
405
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,039
We won this task.
406
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,600
What?
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
407
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,519
Let's give some points out, you. OK.
408
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,719
Well, Armando did
not really finish the task.
409
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,319
Couldn't care less. Yep.
410
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,319
I don't regret it. OK.
411
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,519
So zero to Armando.
We jump up, then -
412
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,799
Amy, two hours, two points somehow.
413
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,519
Joel, nearly two hours,
three points.
414
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,279
Joanna, also nearly two hours,
four points.
415
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,640
But the winner of the task,
five points, it's Kumail Nanjiani.
416
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,439
Do you think we could see
a scoreboard, please? I do.
417
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,199
Armando,
you won't be surprised to hear,
418
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,199
you're currently
in last place with four points. Mm.
419
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,239
And at the top,
she won the first episode,
420
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,639
she's winning this one,
Joanna Page has nine points.
421
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,360
Wahey!
JOANNA LAUGHS
422
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,999
Next one, please. OK, but let's
just slow down a moment
423
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,040
and take some time to reflect.
424
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:22,799
Go.
425
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:23,920
Ooh.
426
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,000
Hello?
427
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,479
Ah.
428
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,399
O-oh!
429
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,240
Hello.
430
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,119
Oh, my God,
I thought it was a mirror!
431
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:41,440
SHE CHORTLES
432
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,120
Shoutout to the art department.
433
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:46,959
Absolutely fanta... Oh! Whoa!
434
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,600
Wow! This is incredible!
435
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,879
Right, OK. Oh, there you... Ooh!
Hello.
436
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,519
Hang on. Right.
437
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,800
Yes. Ah, yes. Yes. Yes.
438
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,719
Hey, Alex.
439
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,919
Kumail.
440
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,039
Ooh.
AMY GASPS
441
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,319
Ah. No! Didn't think so.
442
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:10,440
Shall I? Yes, please.
443
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,199
Whew. OK.
444
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,720
That was great, man.
445
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,399
Like, exhilarating.
Exhilarating. Yeah.
446
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,839
"Do exactly
what your reflection does."
447
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,519
"You must decide what Alex does,
then mirror him.
448
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:24,959
"Most ambitious..."
449
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,639
"..but also accurate
mirroring wins."
450
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,919
"You have a maximum of 20 minutes."
451
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,719
"Your time starts now."
452
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,079
OK.
453
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,119
So I've got 20 minutes
to decide what my re...
454
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:38,640
My... weird me do for... Oh, dear.
455
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:45,399
So I decide what you do
and then I do it with you? Mm-hm.
456
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,160
Ideally, something I'm good at.
457
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,839
I just need to think about
ambitious... Yes.
458
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,639
I'll leave you to it. Yeah.
459
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,439
Can you do a handstand? No.
460
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,360
Can you? Yeah. Ah.
461
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,199
You could teach me.
462
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,039
Like, I feel like
we should learn a dance. Mm.
463
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,319
20 minutes, I think we could, like,
get it down.
464
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,959
Scoop, scoop.
465
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,199
Then we're going to scoop that way.
Scoop, scoop.
466
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:11,199
Let's get a couple of easels
and then we'll paint.
467
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,239
And what are we going to paint?
468
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,279
That's up to you.
469
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:15,559
You know what?
470
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,599
I think you paint
whatever you want to paint.
471
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,239
All you've got to do...
I don't even know if I can
472
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,519
genuinely do a handstand now -
473
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,839
I'm 48 and I've had four children.
474
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,599
Ah. I'm going to try and see
if it's possible.
475
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:25,839
Are you ready?
476
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,719
OK.
JOANNA GRUNTS
477
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:28,879
It's not possible.
478
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,880
JOANNA LAUGHS
479
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:33,760
{\an8}Oh, my God.
480
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:40,320
Unbelievable!
481
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,279
That was so good! Oh, my God.
482
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,399
AMY EXHALES
483
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,719
I can't think we're ever going
to see anything less ambitious
484
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,399
than the time between you
announcing you can do a handstand
485
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,879
and the reality.
486
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,519
Oh, my God. I really thought
I could still do them.
487
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,119
When was the last time you did one?
488
00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:59,040
Probably when I was about 12!
489
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,319
So, ambition.
It's ambition and accuracy, Greg.
490
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,719
Mm. Got to factor in the ambition.
491
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,479
Oh, I'll factor that in,
don't you worry.
492
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,119
Well, let's go with Amy, who went
to some pretty extreme lengths
493
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:11,160
to make me appear just like her.
494
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,039
That was so good.
That was really good!
495
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,079
The accuracy was high, I thought.
496
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:02,679
Thank you. Very good.
497
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:07,480
I am somewhat confused
by you dressing as Barry Gibb.
498
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,439
The shoop dance was good.
It was. There was lots going on.
499
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,719
There was lots of accuracy.
It's a hell of a start.
500
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,119
Next, it's Joel,
501
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,040
and if you're wondering
if he took his top off...
502
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,280
...there are no spoilers here.
503
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,040
Wow. Ah.
504
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,680
That was good.
505
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:08,879
That was the most homoerotic thing
I've seen all week.
506
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,439
We were facing away from each other,
so that's really difficult,
507
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,319
so the level of difficulty is...
Yeah, yeah.
508
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:14,719
...absolutely incredible.
509
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,399
And we took our tops off -
that's fun right? Yeah, yeah.
510
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,079
Yeah, I was probably more drawn in
511
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,720
by you taking your tops off
and kissing.
512
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,599
Time for an advert break, I think.
513
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,200
We'll see you in a minute.
514
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,800
Hello. Yes.
515
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,959
Don't you worry, we're still here.
516
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,919
The current task
has seen our art department excel
517
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,599
with a mirror illusion in a lab.
518
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,399
And now it's Kumail looking
in the mirror,
519
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:47,919
as per bloody usual.
520
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,440
LAUGHTER
521
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:37,679
Good.
522
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:38,959
How did you feel that went?
523
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,119
I can't paint, so I don't...
524
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:43,279
I don't know why I chose to do that.
525
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,199
But isn't that ambitious, ironically?
526
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,360
It... That's why I did it.
527
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,359
You know the thing
that vexed me the most about it?
528
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:53,799
Yes. You missed one of
the rabbit's giant ears off.
529
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,839
I didn't,
I put both ears on the same side.
530
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:56,880
On the same side.
531
00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,559
I did. What's next?
532
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,199
Will it be a handstand
performance next?
533
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,200
Definitely not,
because it's Joanna Page.
534
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:42,960
Interesting.
535
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,039
What I'm interested in
is the narrative of your dance. Mm.
536
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,999
I don't think I was even,
like, human.
537
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,799
We were sort of just emotional,
538
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,599
and it was, like, exhilarating
539
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,319
and sort of
finding this freedom together
540
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,599
on an emotional plane. Ah.
541
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,519
And then,
after going round like that,
542
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,199
there was a huge release.
543
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,960
This is making me look at Steps
in a whole different way.
544
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,759
And then what emerged from that was,
545
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,719
I can birth and bring life in.
546
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,999
It's the love of a mother
and a daughter!
547
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,319
Exactly!
548
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:17,679
Wow. Exactly.
549
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,319
Wow. Wow. Thank you, Amy.
550
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,039
Wow. That's what it is.
551
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,119
I enjoyed the analogy -
552
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,720
I suspect it was all horseshit.
553
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:29,639
There's only one left to see.
Let's go.
554
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,159
It is Armando's attempt now.
555
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,959
Unfortunately, he wasn't actually
available on the day,
556
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:36,080
so instead he sent Ben Kingsley
in to do it for him.
557
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,800
Let's have a look at Ben Kingsley.
558
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:43,919
A-ah!
559
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,120
SLOW MOTION YELP
560
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,280
A-ah!
SLOW MOTION YELP
561
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,480
SLOW MOTION YELP
562
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:30,560
That's great.
563
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,399
Oh, my God. I enjoyed that.
564
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,959
I mean, speaking as a man
of a similar vintage to you,
565
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,439
just throwing yourself on the floor
was ambitious. Yeah, yeah.
566
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:40,679
A bit of slapstick.
567
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,719
Why did you decide to
cast yourself as Ben Kingsley?
568
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:43,839
No, I was just trying
to look like him.
569
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,559
We were trying to meet in
the middle, I think, was the idea.
570
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,199
Were we? OK.
Well, I went that way and...
571
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:48,279
Yes, you went... Yeah. Thank you.
572
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,239
Was Ben Kingsley known for diving?
573
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,719
That's what... I was watching you,
like, "Is there a reference...?"
574
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,719
Let's just forget Ben Kingsley.
575
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,919
He's got nothing to... It was me.
576
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:58,839
I was just trying to look like him.
That was you?!
577
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,480
LAUGHTER
Yeah.
578
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,519
And me! That's how good it was.
Yeah.
579
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,600
Apart from Kumail's, obviously,
I loved them all.
580
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,799
One point. OK.
581
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:11,959
One point to Kumail.
582
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,519
They were all pretty powerful
from this point onwards.
583
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,919
So let's look at accuracy.
584
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,479
Probably Joel's was slightly
less accurate than the others.
585
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:20,719
Yeah, I can understand that.
586
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,599
And I'm going to give you two
points, but I think it's harsh,
587
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:24,240
I'll tell you that.
It's all right. Now...
588
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,799
...how accurate was the universe?
589
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,759
Slightly less accurate than
the shoop-shoop, I think.
590
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,759
So, whilst it was a powerful
statement about life,
591
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,879
I can only give you three points.
I'll take it.
592
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,479
I'm going to give Amy four points
because it was incredibly accurate.
593
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,479
That is harsh. But the one that
moved me the most...
594
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,519
Mm. ..and was also accurate,
595
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,800
and I think it will open up
new doors for him...
596
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,719
Finally. ..was Armando Iannucci,
takes five points.
597
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,800
Yeah. Thank you.
Five points for Armando.
598
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,799
What is next?
Well, it is my idea of heaven -
599
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:03,040
lots of instructions, a secret code
and a really big balloon. Mmm!
600
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:16,240
Hello?
601
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,199
Everything all right in there?
602
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:20,439
I think so.
603
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,279
"Present."
604
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,439
PREsent or preSENT?
605
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,519
Great question.
606
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,879
This is your sort of thing.
This is my sort of thing?
607
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,119
I think so. Do you reckon?
608
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:31,479
What is my sort of thing?
609
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:32,760
Fun? Fun?
610
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,359
Right.
611
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,159
"Achieve the most things
on this list..."
612
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,759
"..before the balloon pops."
613
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,999
"If you do the special thing,
614
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,559
"the balloon will stop inflating
for ten seconds."
615
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,760
Ten seconds?
If you do the special thing.
616
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:57,679
I feel like I haven't been looking
around for alternate solutions.
617
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,039
"You must not touch
the balloon mechanism."
618
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:04,119
"Your time starts
when the balloon starts inflating."
619
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,159
The special th... Oh, my God.
620
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,040
Oh! Oh, gosh! Right.
621
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:10,520
OK. Right.
622
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,679
God. What's the special thing?
623
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:14,760
Stop inflating!
624
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,279
You thought the special thing
might be to say, "Stop inflating"?
625
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,879
I thought it was worth a shot.
626
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,799
Yeah!
627
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,119
Well, this is all pretty
self-explanatory, I think.
628
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,159
I don't want to dwell. I just want
to crack on and have a look.
629
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,439
Fair enough.
They were under pressure,
630
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:31,759
they had to achieve a lot
of different things.
631
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,839
And we're going
to begin with three of the five.
632
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,759
and that is Joanna, Joel and Amy.
633
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:38,560
"One, thread a needle."
634
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:41,319
Yes.
635
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:42,959
I told you it was
your sort of thing.
636
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:43,960
I love this.
637
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,159
This is ridiculous.
What's the special thing?
638
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:49,280
I love you.
639
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,199
OK, I've found the end
of the sticky tape.
640
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:53,640
One. That's one.
641
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,559
Oh, dear. This is a mistake.
642
00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,759
Ah!
643
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:01,119
Ahh!
644
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:02,640
Get it, get it, get it!
645
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,599
Right.
My husband never answers the phone.
646
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,119
We're actually in the middle
of an argument
647
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:10,279
cos he doesn't answer the phone.
648
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,399
{\an8}Hello?
649
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,439
{\an8}Chris, I need you to whisper to me
on the phone.
650
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,239
Yes, I can whisper to you.
651
00:34:16,240 --> 00:34:17,839
Two. OK, bye.
652
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,480
Whisper what you had for breakfast.
653
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,319
All right, thanks very much.
Gotta go. Bye, bye, bye. Yeah, bye!
654
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,400
I'll put my number... Fine.
...into yours.
655
00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:30,719
PHONE RINGS
What do you want me to whisper?
656
00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:33,520
CALL ECHOES
"Hello. I'm a big fan of you."
657
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,279
Hello.
I'm a big fan of you.
658
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:38,679
Done!
659
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,880
"Put on the galoshes.
Put on the galoshes."
660
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,679
Where's my mother? Come on, Mum!
661
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,239
Oh, hello, Mum!
662
00:34:46,240 --> 00:34:47,679
Can you just very quickly
663
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,239
just shout out
what you had for breakfast?
664
00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:50,799
Shout at me down the phone!
665
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,879
Oh, shout at you?
Oh, hang on a second.
666
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,679
Mum, you don't have to wait,
just shout!
667
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,000
What on earth are you doing?
For goodness' sake!
668
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:00,719
Thank you.
669
00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:02,359
Just shout, "Scrambled egg!"
670
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:05,199
Scrambled egg! Thanks, Mum.
Thank you very much.
671
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,279
"Find the end of the sticky tape."
Right.
672
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,439
Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no.
673
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:10,959
I'm good at this.
674
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,680
Oh, you ARE good at that. Yep.
675
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,159
Where do you think a pouch is?
676
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:16,760
That's a pouch. OK, fair enough.
677
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,039
{\an8}Right, I'm going to put
the galoshes on first
678
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:22,240
{\an8}because that's something.
679
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,519
They're on. They're on.
680
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,359
I'm going to do the present first.
681
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,680
Did it say "neatly"? Yeah. Yeah.
682
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,199
That's good.
683
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,040
Could you read to me
what else is on the list?
684
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:46,159
O-ow! O-ow!
685
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:47,799
Ow-ow-ow! OK.
686
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:49,399
I hate maths... Have you done that?
687
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:50,759
...and to be honest...
Yeah, I've done it,
688
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:52,399
and I've got to sew up my pouch.
689
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,760
Where does a galosh start
and a wader end?
690
00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:00,079
Where do you think the pouch is?
Oh, fuck, is it in there?!
691
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,439
Argh!
692
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,639
"Be shouted out by a woman
on the phone."
693
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,719
My wife just rang -
it was perfect timing, actually.
694
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:09,319
I've sewn up that.
Yeah, that counts.
695
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:10,839
"Sew up the pouch,
696
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,039
"once you've put a sock in it."
697
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,039
Oh, my God! Oh!
698
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,159
I didn't do any of it
in the right order!
699
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:17,760
You're so clever!
700
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,759
AMY SCREAMS
701
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,440
SLOW MOTION SCREAM
702
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,879
Welcome to the EE...
My wife just hung up on me.
703
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,880
Ah! Ah! Ah! Agh.
704
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,000
SLOW MOTION SCREAM
705
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:40,999
Not bad.
706
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,919
The first time I've seen you
on this show so far
707
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,159
not looking like you were having
the time of your life. Yeah.
708
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,999
The threading of the needle
seems to have broken you.
709
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,839
I used the whole thing
as sort of something...
710
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,800
Some sort of way to get
Alex Horne's number.
711
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,439
I loved your mum needed a beat
712
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,519
before she would
shout at you straight away.
713
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:04,039
She was in the middle of
Swansea town centre... Yeah.
714
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,639
...and I was going, "Mum,
will you just shout down the phone?"
715
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,319
And she had to get herself together.
716
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:09,799
But I think it's a Welsh thing,
717
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:11,759
because my relatives
are Welsh as well,
718
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,999
and I don't think there's a lot
of shouting in Wales
719
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,239
because the response
to most situations is,
720
00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:17,559
"Well, there we are. Happens."
721
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:18,999
Yeah!
722
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,639
My mum took no persuading.
723
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,359
No, she didn't. "Scrambled egg!"
724
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:26,919
She was straight in,
didn't even need to know why!
725
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:28,239
Well, Amy did pretty well.
726
00:37:28,240 --> 00:37:30,639
Amy got seven out of the ten
things done... Whoo!
727
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,879
Oh, all right!
...which is a lot better than Joel,
728
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,839
who got four, or five if you count
the neatly-wrapped present.
729
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,599
Yes, I do count it... Oh.
730
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:38,999
...because he has to be rewarded
731
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,439
for spending three hours
threading a needle.
732
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,079
OK, well,
you've got half the things done,
733
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,479
but this pales next to Joanna,
734
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,239
who got nine out of ten. Whoa!
735
00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,999
Oh. Let down on my maths again.
Unbelievable.
736
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,039
Wow.
737
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,719
OK, time for the last
ad break of the show.
738
00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:55,799
We're just moments away
from one of the contestants
739
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:59,079
winning a portrait of my head
on an Asian man's body.
740
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,559
Has this been signed off
by Channel 4, Alex?
741
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:02,760
Yes.
742
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,360
We're safe! See you after the break.
743
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:15,479
Hello!
744
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:17,999
Hello, and welcome
to part four of Taskmaster,
745
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,599
and some very speedy tasking.
746
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:20,799
Oh, they're quick,
747
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,759
they're slick,
and I've done a little sick.
748
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,199
Now the final two attempts.
749
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:26,799
First they worked on Veep together,
750
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,319
now it's the next step on
the entertainment career ladder -
751
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:30,999
trying to find the end
of some sticky tape,
752
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,679
howling and putting on galoshes.
753
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:34,919
Yes, it's Armando and Kumail.
754
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,959
{\an8}Oh, God. "Howl for 30 seconds."
755
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:38,559
O-ow!
756
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,119
H-o-ow-ar!
757
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,639
W-ay! O-ow! A-a-gh! O-ow!
758
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,599
30 seconds. Thank you, Kumail.
759
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:47,319
Thank YOU. Lovely howling.
760
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,319
Right, here we go. Wrap.
761
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:50,879
"Find the end of the sticky tape."
762
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,120
Well, I'll make an end
and then I'll find it.
763
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:56,520
That was cool.
764
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:01,520
So...
765
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:07,559
I can't count and wrap.
766
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:09,359
Hello, baby.
Hey, Emily, I'm on camera.
767
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,799
Can you just yell at me?
768
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,799
I can't believe how much I love you!
Argh!
769
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:14,959
OK, I love you too. Bye.
770
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,199
Present's wrapped. Well done.
Yeah. There we are.
771
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:18,520
Erm... Galoshes.
772
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,039
You've done the special thing,
by the way.
773
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:22,239
Have I done the special thing?
774
00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:23,439
Yeah, it stopped for ten seconds.
775
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:24,839
Well...
776
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,639
Right, I'm going
to do that towards the end, I think.
777
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,599
How do I find out
what the special thing is?
778
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,079
I guess trial and error.
779
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,679
I've threaded the needle.
780
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,119
Tremendous work.
781
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,159
"Neatly wrap the present."
782
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,200
You've just done the special thing,
just so you know.
783
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:44,400
Neatly wrap the present.
Neatly wrap the present.
784
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,959
What did I do? What did I do?!
785
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:50,720
What was the special thing
that I did?
786
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,119
How do I be whispered
to by a man on the phone?
787
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,439
Is there a number to ring?
788
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:03,799
Probably quite a lot of numbers
you could ring.
789
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:05,879
ARMANDO LAUGHS
Hello?
790
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:07,120
Hey, can you whisper to me?
791
00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:13,559
OK. Wow, it really does sound
like the inside of my own head.
792
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,119
Thank you so much. Goodbye.
793
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:16,559
{\an8}"Sock in a pouch."
794
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,039
Pouch. Pouch. Pouch. Pouch.
795
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,039
Where do you think
the pouch might be?
796
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:22,040
Oh, it's not...
797
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:25,440
Can I have your sock?
798
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,479
{\an8}What are you looking for?
I did something over here
799
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,319
{\an8}and the thing stopped. Oh, I see.
800
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,079
{\an8}Are you trying to do the
special thing? Was it that?
801
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,639
Did I do...?
802
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:35,999
Right, there we go.
803
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,360
Well, this might make life easier.
804
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:42,199
Thank you.
805
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,440
BALLOON POPS
806
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:51,919
You just did the special
thing again.
807
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,479
Is it this? Yeah.
808
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:54,880
Touching your head, yeah.
809
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,080
{\an8}Hi, could you shout at me?
Just shout at me.
810
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,920
You're not shouting.
You've got to shout.
811
00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:08,999
BALLOON POP REPLAY
OK!
812
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,159
Well, too late. Goodbye.
813
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:13,959
See you.
814
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,720
I forgot to do that.
HE CHUCKLES
815
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:20,959
So you worked out the special thing
816
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:22,919
and then didn't use
the special thing. Yeah.
817
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,720
I just got stuck
in an argument with my wife...
818
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,999
...who'd just told me
I hadn't put the bins out.
819
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,080
And had you not put the bins out?
I hadn't.
820
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,359
Interesting, your partner's
declaration of love for you -
821
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,599
not very British, that.
822
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,039
My wife is not here with me,
823
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,199
and when I heard her voice,
I got teary-eyed.
824
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:42,639
Aw.
I really did.
825
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,360
God, it's sickening.
826
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,599
And presumably, you've got someone
who does the bins for you.
827
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,679
No. No. She does the bins.
Oh, she does...
828
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:55,319
Yes. So in the end, Joel,
you were last.
829
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:57,519
You got five out of ten,
so one point.
830
00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:59,359
Then Armando got six out of ten,
two points.
831
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,519
Kumail and Amy both got
seven out of ten,
832
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:02,839
so they share four points each.
833
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:04,239
The winner of the task, five points,
834
00:42:04,240 --> 00:42:06,239
nine things completed,
was Joanna Page!
835
00:42:06,240 --> 00:42:08,279
Wow. Wow.
836
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:09,519
Well done, Joanna.
837
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,479
OK, everyone,
please make your way to the stage
838
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:12,960
for the final task of the show!
839
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,640
BAGPIPES PLAY
840
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,199
Alex, who will read the task?
841
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,039
Kumail Nanjiani is going
to read the task.
842
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:25,839
Here we go.
HE CLEARS THROAT
843
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:29,039
"Work out what word
the piper is piping.
844
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,959
"You may have one guess
and may only guess
845
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,599
"if you are the first
to raise both your hands.
846
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,519
"First to two correct guesses wins."
847
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,319
This is the piper.
He's called Johnny Pipes.
848
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,559
He'll pipe a word, you've got to
try to work out what the word is.
849
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:43,119
You have glockenspiels
in front of you.
850
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:44,519
You can try to recognise the notes
851
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,159
that he's playing
by playing your own glockenspiel.
852
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,160
I am genuinely medically tone-deaf.
Medically?
853
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,119
When you think you've got it right,
raise both your hands
854
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,319
and then you can say your guess
when I point at you,
855
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:59,119
but if you're wrong, you can't
guess any more for that word. OK.
856
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:02,079
Just to warn you,
he's got to start with the letter E
857
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,999
to get the pipes going.
858
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:05,279
So when he's ready to
spell his word,
859
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:06,599
he will have his leg up
860
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:09,079
and he will put it down
to start the word.
861
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:10,959
Joel, happy?
I've just got to warn you,
862
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,200
I don't understand what's going on.
863
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,039
Let's go, Johnny. Yep.
864
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,520
HE PLAYS BAGPIPES
865
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,160
{\an8}OK. He has spelt the first word.
866
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:29,919
{\an8}It was low.
867
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:31,400
{\an8}HUMMING
868
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,959
{\an8}Johnny can spell it again
if you want it.
869
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,000
Yes, please. Yes, please, Johnny.
Let's have the word again.
870
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,560
HE PLAYS BAGPIPES
871
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,480
GREG MIMICS BAGPIPES
872
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:53,759
Yes, Armando?
873
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:55,239
{\an8}Bee. It is bee!
874
00:43:55,240 --> 00:43:56,720
Wow!
875
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,479
Can I just say? I loved your face
when Armando got the word.
876
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:04,199
Your face went, "It works!" Yeah!
877
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:05,680
LAUGHTER
878
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:12,599
Yeah. OK, it's one to Armando,
nothing to anyone else yet.
879
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:13,839
OK.
880
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:15,079
Ready for the next word?
881
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,879
Leg up, Johnny.
882
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:18,560
HE PLAYS BAGPIPES
883
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,839
ALEX GASPS
Straight in there. Amy.
884
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:27,559
Egg. It is egg!
885
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:31,039
Yay! Well done. I did it,
I did it, I did it!
886
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:32,279
How are you feeling, Joel?
887
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,719
I feel like...
888
00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:35,520
It's just lovely to listen to music.
889
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,039
One to Amy, one to Armando. Mm.
890
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,039
The words are now going
to get longer. Mm.
891
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,599
Oh, God, right. Leg up, Johnny.
892
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,040
HE PLAYS BAGPIPES
893
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,000
HUMMING
894
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,840
{\an8}Maybe get a bit closer
to the instrument, Joel.
895
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:05,919
{\an8}Fuck.
Ooh.
896
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,639
{\an8}Does anyone know
any of the letters of this one? Ha!
897
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,599
I feel I'm close,
but it doesn't make a word. Ah! Mm.
898
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,599
Armando. Is it faded?
899
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:15,719
It's not. No? OK. Aw!
900
00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:17,559
It's not faded, I'm sorry.
Oh, good. It clarifies that, then.
901
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,599
Yeah, no, it's not that, so you have
to have your hands on your hips.
902
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:20,879
I'm out. You're out of this word,
Armando.
903
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:22,919
Can we have it once more, please?
904
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:24,639
Leg up, Johnny.
905
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:25,880
HE PLAYS BAGPIPES
906
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,160
Oh, I know... If Joel gets this,
I'm going to explode.
907
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,439
JOANNA CHUCKLES
908
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:41,760
Badge! Yeah!
909
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,319
Let's go, Johnny. Leg up, Johnny.
910
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:52,920
LAUGHTER
HE PLAYS BAGPIPES
911
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:07,159
What's the word, Amy?
912
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:08,400
It is baggage!
913
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:11,879
{\an8}I have baggage too! Yes.
914
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:13,480
It's good.
915
00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:17,359
OK. Well, I'll bring you down and
we'll add that to the final scores,
916
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,439
but first, a big round of
applause for Johnny!
917
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,359
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
918
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:22,800
Come down and join me.
919
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,839
So, Greg, Joanna and Kumail
didn't get any right,
920
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,079
but they came joint fourth,
so they get two points.
921
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:34,479
Armando and Joel, four points each
for getting one right.
922
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,279
But the winner of the task,
five points
923
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,480
for her two correct answers is
Amy Gledhill.
924
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,279
Whoo-ee! Yeah.
925
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:45,799
And that's enough to make her
the winner of the episode
926
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:47,319
with a huge 20 points. Oh!
927
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,559
Well done, Amy! Yeah!
928
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:51,599
Amy Gledhill wins!
929
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:55,559
Please go and collect your booty
of unquestionable beauty!
930
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:58,080
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
931
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,720
Here's your winner tonight,
it's Amy Gledhill!
932
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,240
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
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