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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:08,942 {\an8}-[crowd cheering] -[upbeat music playing] 2 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,346 {\an8}[dramatic jazzy music plays] 3 00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:13,714 {\an8}Hey, this is Redban! 4 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:16,917 Coming to you live from Dolby Live at Park MGM 5 00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:19,319 in Las Vegas, Nevada! 6 00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:22,356 For a brand new episode of Kill Tony, 7 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:25,392 give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe! 8 00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:30,197 -[crowd cheering, applauding] -[upbeat jazzy music playing] 9 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,108 Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? 10 00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:43,243 [crowd cheering] 11 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,652 -Yippee! -[crowd cheering] 12 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,520 Brian Redban, ladies and gentlemen. 13 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,793 The best damn band in all the land, everybody! 14 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,929 [crowd cheering] 15 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:06,166 WrestleMania Weekend, Las Vegas, who's with me, huh? 16 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:12,339 Oh, we are gonna have some damn fun tonight. 17 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,342 How about one more time for the WWE, Netflix, 18 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,677 putting this thing on? 19 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:17,744 [crowd cheering] 20 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:22,182 It is a first of its kind event. 21 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:26,620 We are so excited, so let's just get the party started, huh? 22 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,923 Ladies and gentlemen, your first guest tonight, 23 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,725 one of the best comedians in the world. 24 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,894 His new special is on Netflix, 25 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,996 Take a Banana for the Ride. 26 00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:41,068 He will be doing The Roast of Kevin Hart live on May 10th, 27 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:43,637 one of the greatest joke smiths in the world, 28 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,640 one of the greatest comedians on planet Earth, 29 00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,942 a best friend, a mentor, 30 00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:53,814 make some noise for the great and powerful Jeffrey Ross, everybody! 31 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,783 -[upbeat jazzy music playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 32 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,019 [Tony] Yeah! 33 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:07,361 The roast master general has arrived to the WWE Universe! 34 00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:09,730 {\an8}Hell yeah! 35 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:13,166 {\an8}Jeffrey Ross, everybody! 36 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,167 {\an8}Let's go! 37 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,804 We're just gonna keep it moving along. 38 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:22,743 Ladies and gentlemen, your second guest tonight, 39 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:26,680 -joining us live here. -["Rest In Peace" playing] 40 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,983 [crowd cheering, applauding] 41 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,422 [Tony laughs] 42 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,263 [crowd cheering, applauding] 43 00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,910 [Tony] The Undertaker, ladies and gentlemen! 44 00:02:58,745 --> 00:02:59,813 Fuck yeah! 45 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,118 Doesn't get any fucking cooler than this, people. 46 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,156 This is Kill Tony at WrestleMania! 47 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,726 Welcome to Kill Tony Mania! 48 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:16,630 [crowd cheering] 49 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,068 {\an8}Oh my God. 50 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:26,006 {\an8}-[laughs] -[crowd cheering] 51 00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,643 I must have left my dressing room door open. 52 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,811 [laughs] 53 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,413 -Who farted? What the fuck? -[crowd chanting "Holy shit"] 54 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,083 This is the first true "holy shit" chant 55 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,151 in the history of Kill Tony. 56 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,219 Much deserved. 57 00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:42,255 Make some noise one more time for The Undertaker and Jeff Ross. 58 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,925 [crowd cheering, applauding] 59 00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:46,159 [Tony] Hell yeah. 60 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:51,898 We are just getting the party started, everybody. 61 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,700 This is unbelievable. 62 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:57,270 Jeffrey Ross, like I said, the newest special on Netflix, 63 00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,472 Take a Banana for the Ride. 64 00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:01,108 You're going live on Mother's Day, May 10th, 65 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,176 with The Roast of Kevin Hart. 66 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:07,047 Tony… How many people think Tony should return 67 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:09,082 and come back and roast Kevin Hart? 68 00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:10,717 [crowd cheering, applauding] 69 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,721 [Jeff] Tony, you gotta do it, brother. 70 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,590 I'm asking you to do it. 71 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:20,460 On behalf of Kevin and Netflix and me and everybody, 72 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,362 you gotta fucking come back 73 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,998 and tear that little motherfucker a new asshole. 74 00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:28,268 -May 10th. -Let's make it official right now. 75 00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:31,605 I'm on it, May 10th, representing you, 76 00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:33,907 the Kill Tony Universe, again. 77 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,276 We crushed Tom Brady. 78 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:39,346 We're gonna double down and go even harder on Kevin Hart. 79 00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:41,348 We're gonna shoot him out of a cannon. 80 00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:42,783 [laughs] 81 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,485 I love it. 82 00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,587 The Undertaker is here, everybody. 83 00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:52,826 His hit podcast Six Feet Underground with The Undertaker. 84 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,127 Six Feet Under. 85 00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,128 Six Feet Under. 86 00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,563 [crowd laughing] 87 00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:58,732 Six Feet Under with The Undertaker. 88 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,600 I should have known that. I've done the show. 89 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,335 All your favorite comedians have done this show. 90 00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:04,304 All your favorite wrestlers have done it. 91 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,540 Make sure you check it out. It is amazing. 92 00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:09,476 Undertaker, this is your first time on the show. 93 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:12,279 I'm sure you kinda know what goes on, but I'm gonna explain it. 94 00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:14,781 About 200 comedians signed up earlier 95 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,517 for the chance to be pulled out of this bucket. 96 00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:21,054 If their name gets pulled, they get 60 seconds uninterrupted. 97 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,356 You know their time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. 98 00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:25,158 -[cat meows] -That means they have to wrap it up then. 99 00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,561 Or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear… 100 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,429 [bear growls] 101 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,931 …which interrupts their set. 102 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,733 I conduct an interview. We find out more about them. 103 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,570 The whole thing's improvised. Anything can happen. 104 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,672 Are you guys ready to start tonight's show? 105 00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,774 [crowd cheering, applauding] 106 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,744 Well, we're gonna start it with a bang, 107 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:47,614 'cause this is the first-ever Kill Tony Mania. 108 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,851 Let's start it with the Kill Tony Hall of Famer 109 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:53,887 with the most appearances ever in the history of the show. 110 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,990 The most interviews in the history of the show. 111 00:05:57,557 --> 00:06:02,229 Opening tonight's show, the Big Red Machine, ladies and gentlemen, 112 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:05,031 the Vanilla Gorilla, the Memphis Strangler, 113 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,167 this is William Montgomery! 114 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:11,338 -[upbeat jazzy music playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 115 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,614 -[music concludes] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 116 00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:24,618 Redban! 117 00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:29,189 This summer at Bash at the Beach, 118 00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:33,593 {\an8}me and "Mean" Gene Okerlund are gonna tag team… 119 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,662 {\an8}your mom! 120 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,597 {\an8}[crowd cheering, applauding] 121 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:45,105 I love how The Undertaker's manager was named Paul Bearer. 122 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,307 If I were a wrestler, 123 00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:51,845 my manager's name would be Robin William Blind. 124 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:53,880 [crowd laughing] 125 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,750 Okay, let's keep moving. Fuck. 126 00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:58,184 [crowd laughing] 127 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,087 Remember when Redban's mom used to wrestle? 128 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,857 I think her name was Yokozuna. 129 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,063 No, but seriously, if I were a professional wrestler, 130 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,532 my manager's name would be Willy. 131 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:17,037 Willy Baddett booking me at any decent comedy clubs. 132 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,373 Okay. [chuckles] 133 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,841 If I were a wrestler, 134 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:25,879 my finishing move would be putting jet fuel in my mouth 135 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,981 and spitting out flames. 136 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:31,851 But then Alex Jones said that jet fuel can't melt steel chairs. 137 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,588 Okay, that's my time, Tony! 138 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:40,460 [chuckling] William Montgomery, what is going on? 139 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,930 Tony, my name is Nectar. 140 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,966 [Tony] That's your character? 141 00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:48,568 -Nectar. -[Tony] Why is it Nectar? 142 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,337 Nectar? Hardly knew her. 143 00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,506 Okay. [laughs] 144 00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:54,607 Oh my God. 145 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,543 That's because it's my name! 146 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,713 So I can set myself up for that one, Tony! 147 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:01,247 -[chuckles] -[drum snare] 148 00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:03,483 [William] But so nice to be here. 149 00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:04,918 Tony, I don't know if you knew this, 150 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,954 but I've kind of been going through it over the past couple of weeks. 151 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:11,424 And actually, yesterday, I got a call from my sweet brother, Selden. 152 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,660 And he's like, "William, is everything okay?" 153 00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:16,096 And I said, "Why do you ask? Yeah, I'm okay." 154 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,931 And he said, "Oh, there's an ambulance 155 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,967 right in front of your apartment and four police cars." 156 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,770 And I go out there to go get some ZYNs. 157 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,405 And I talked to one of the police officers, 158 00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:26,473 and he's like, 159 00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:28,441 "Yeah, you're not in danger. Don't worry." 160 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,477 I asked if everything was okay. 161 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:34,514 So now I realized it was my neighbor got murdered or died. 162 00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,950 So Tony, last night I'm in my bedroom thinking, 163 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,786 "My God, I wonder if ghosts go through the walls." 164 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,421 Because it's a very thin wall. 165 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,156 ["Toccata and fugue" plays, stops] 166 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,558 [William] It's a very thin wall I'm working with, Tony. 167 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:46,826 I got to tell you, it looks like you have a ghost 168 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,328 in your underpants there, William. 169 00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,929 There is a zombie. 170 00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:51,331 Tony. 171 00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,866 Yeah, don't zoom in on that. 172 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:54,701 I actually took a little Adderall earlier, 173 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,037 and that's why my penis looks like this, so… 174 00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:58,338 [crowd laughing] 175 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,373 -Yikes. -Jeff Ross. 176 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,776 William, you're here at WrestleMania, 177 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,644 but your dick is still at Coachella. 178 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,513 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 179 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,716 Okay, let's keep moving, Tony. 180 00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,451 What's going on? [chuckles] 181 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,787 [Undertaker] That's what we call a foreign object. 182 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,555 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 183 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,290 He's got something in his tights. 184 00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:20,026 I think he's wrestling with his sexuality. 185 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,928 [crowd laughing] 186 00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:25,698 Yeah, I did get this on a homosexual website, 187 00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,201 um, so that would make sense. 188 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,602 Killtony.com. 189 00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:32,072 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 190 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,207 Kill Tony, yeah-- 191 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,109 Let's go, motherfuckers! 192 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,410 [Tony] Oh yeah. 193 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,711 [Jeff] What a crowd, Tony. 194 00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,114 What a crowd. What a way to kick it off. 195 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:44,684 [Tony] The best fans in the world, the crossover, the WWE Universe 196 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,219 and the Kill Tony Universe. 197 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,488 Thank you for taking me to WrestleMania today. 198 00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,056 That was really fun, man. 199 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,391 Yeah, that was so much fun. 200 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,893 We watched some people go through the Spanish announce table. 201 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:54,961 It was so exciting. 202 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,364 William, I've never seen that tattoo before on your thigh. 203 00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,732 -What is that? -Which one? 204 00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:03,203 I got a baby Taz with a cowboy hat. 205 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:07,307 I also have a geisha Stimpy that I'm most proud of. 206 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:11,077 And then a Foghorn Leghorn, Speedy Gonzales, 207 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,046 some different little characters I have. 208 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,149 Your balls to dick ratio is absolutely incredible. 209 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,484 It looks like… 210 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,285 Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing? 211 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:22,055 See, I was trying to mess with my penis before I came out here 212 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,524 to try to make it bigger, but it wasn't working. 213 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,693 It appears to be mostly balls. 214 00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:29,362 That's not balls. That's his dick. 215 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,730 It appears to be mostly balls 216 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:34,067 and a little nub resting ever so slightly. 217 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,001 An acorn. 218 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,170 [William] Yeah, well, Redban's mom loves my fucking balls 219 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,572 'cause she fucking chokes on them, so yeah, 220 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,008 they are kind of big, but her mouth is kind of small 221 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,009 'cause she's an old lady, but… 222 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,010 [Tony] It does. 223 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:47,680 It looks like there's a baby bird hanging by… [chuckles] 224 00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:51,651 …sitting on a beanbag of some kind inside of your singlet. 225 00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:52,952 [Redban] Fell out of the nest. 226 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:53,987 Yeah, out of a nest. 227 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:55,989 Well, if anybody wants to find me after the show, 228 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,725 I will be having sex with people right backstage. 229 00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:01,427 -[Redban] Oh. -So if you're interested at all, uh… 230 00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:03,796 I'm kidding. 231 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:07,333 I've only had sex once in two years, so let's keep it moving, Tony. 232 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,801 [Tony] Hell yeah. 233 00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:11,337 William, we love you. What else is going on? 234 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,373 You excited about WrestleMania Weekend? 235 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,975 Really excited. I wasn't able to go today. 236 00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:17,477 I guess my phone wasn't on 237 00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:19,012 when you called me asking about the tickets. 238 00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,381 -[Tony] Yeah. -So I was, uh… 239 00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:22,315 Yeah, just hanging out. 240 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,684 But, Tony, I do want to be very serious here for a second. 241 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:27,187 My best friend in Memphis, a guy named Alex Rayner, 242 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:31,124 was tragically murdered in Denver, Colorado this past Thursday. 243 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,993 So I want to give a real quick shout-out to sweet Alex Rayner. 244 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,095 -So I've been dealing with a bunch of… -[airhorn blaring] 245 00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:38,698 Yeah, Redban, not fucking with that, dumbass! 246 00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:39,966 -[laughs] -I'm not kidding! 247 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,901 He was my best friend, you idiot! 248 00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:43,703 -[Tony] Why are you getting-- -You wouldn't even know that! 249 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,538 You don't have any friends, dumbass! 250 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,873 -[laughs] -[guitar riff] 251 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,475 You wouldn't even know what it's like to have a friend, idiot! 252 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,144 -[drum snare] -[guitar riff] 253 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,779 When you're talking about your murdered friend, 254 00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,314 you got slightly harder. 255 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,182 [crowd laughing] 256 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,151 It's so blatantly visible. 257 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:03,122 This giant red dong of yours is absolutely incredible. 258 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:07,460 Yeah, well, I get hard when I think about the dead sometimes, Tony, so… 259 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:08,628 That's not a good thing, but… 260 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:11,164 No better way to get tonight's show started. 261 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,832 [William chuckling] Yeah. 262 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,768 Nice to be here, Tony! 263 00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:16,803 We love you, William. 264 00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:19,572 Thanks for getting it started for us. The great William Montgomery. 265 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,140 And it has begun, everybody. 266 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:24,110 -[upbeat jazzy music playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 267 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,115 We are going to our first bucket pull, everyone. 268 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,316 How about this? 269 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,986 They're gonna come out and see Jeff Ross and The Undertaker 270 00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,053 and be shocked. 271 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:38,124 So, our first bucket pull of the night, ladies and gentlemen. 272 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,259 [crowd laughing] 273 00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,294 This looks like an interesting name. 274 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:45,031 Make some noise for Red Dawn, Red Goddess of Love. 275 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,299 Can't even make it up. 276 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,434 [upbeat jazzy music playing] 277 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,937 [Tony] Red Dawn, Red Goddess of Love. 278 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:52,772 Oh, hey. 279 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,041 [music concludes] 280 00:12:55,842 --> 00:13:00,546 Hey, I don't give a fuck if you get off on my set or not tonight, 281 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:05,952 'cause all of you and you make sure I get off later tonight 282 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,553 and the rest of my life. 283 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:11,658 God made this pussy on the eighth day. 284 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,459 [crowd laughing] 285 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:14,427 That's right. 286 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:19,532 He said, "World, this is good, but you need to be wetter." 287 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,634 [crowd laughing, cheering] 288 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:25,171 That's right. My pussy is so divine, 289 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:29,242 when God commissioned the Sistine Chapel, 290 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,145 he was reaching out to finger my pussy. 291 00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:33,546 [crowd laughing] 292 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:37,083 That's right, but the Catholic Church said no. 293 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,653 But who do they come to for holy water? 294 00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:42,955 Me. 295 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:47,327 Relax. I've blessed this whole stadium. 296 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,897 That's right. 297 00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:57,036 Another reason I know my pussy is so divine is-- Oh, why? 298 00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,473 -Because it can turn water into wine. -[cat meows] 299 00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,309 And you know how I know this? 300 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,311 Because my ex-husband 301 00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:08,214 and my current boyfriend are alcoholics. 302 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,116 But they only drink top shelf. 303 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,151 My name's Red Dawn, 304 00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:14,153 the crack you want to wake up to. 305 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,855 -[crowd cheering, applauding] -Wow. 306 00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,424 What an interesting creature we've discovered. 307 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:19,859 Red Dawn. 308 00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:21,227 Welcome. 309 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,463 Somebody nail this bitch to a cross. 310 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,931 [Tony laughs] 311 00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:25,998 Wow. 312 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,735 What a wild little beast you are, huh? 313 00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,671 Look at you, you horny little church lady. 314 00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:32,739 Oh yes. 315 00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:37,443 Take me home so I can yell, "Oh God!" 316 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,378 [Tony laughs] 317 00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,980 Oh my God. I just came a little bit, I think. 318 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,615 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 319 00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:43,850 Oh my goodness. 320 00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:46,486 Red Dawn, how long have you been doing stand-up? 321 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:47,854 [Red Dawn] Oh man. 322 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,456 Do you want to know in years or hours? 323 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:51,657 How about centuries? 324 00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:53,826 [Red Dawn] One. 325 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,695 -Ten years. -[Tony] Okay. 326 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,030 -All of it here in Las Vegas? -About 40 hours. 327 00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,600 Las Vegas and the Midwest. 328 00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:01,667 Okay. 329 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,103 -[Red Dawn] Nebraska. -Hell yeah. 330 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,138 The Midwest. 331 00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,273 Your pussy probably looks like the Middle East. 332 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,975 -[crowd laughing] -[Tony laughs] 333 00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:12,278 As long as you hit me in the middle. 334 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,780 Oh my goodness. 335 00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:15,314 Wow. 336 00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:18,718 I can't tell whether she's wet or dry. This is incredible. 337 00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,553 You're like a mirage or something like that. 338 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,655 -Oh, she's wet. -[laughs] 339 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,323 I'm so excited. 340 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,559 -I know. -This is the real deal. You're in it. 341 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,661 And I mean, you're built for comedy. 342 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:29,662 You literally look 343 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,864 like every character in Beetlejuice put together. 344 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,333 I… [chuckles] I didn't hear you. 345 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,569 -I'm sorry. -[Tony] It's perfect. 346 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:37,570 I'm not surprised. 347 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,907 Your ears work as good as your pussy does, probably. 348 00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:41,908 [laughs] 349 00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:43,576 They don't need to hear down there. 350 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,745 -So… -[Tony] I love it. What do you do for fun? 351 00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,214 Do you have any other special skills or talents? 352 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,849 [Red Dawn] Um… 353 00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,384 Yeah, but I can't say here. 354 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,120 Got it. You're a little one trick pony over here. 355 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,255 -That's what I'm noticing. -[Red Dawn] No, I… 356 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:57,757 It's from the coma, I think. 357 00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,159 [Tony] You got in a coma? How'd you end up in a coma? 358 00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:03,463 I got T-boned by a semi in my Volkswagen. 359 00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:07,233 -[Tony] Oh my God. -And I was in a coma for a week. 360 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,101 [Tony] Wow. Okay. 361 00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:11,938 Did you have all these pussy jokes before or did you wake up… 362 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:15,541 Um, no. It started after the coma, actually. 363 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:16,476 [Tony] Amazing. 364 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,912 I've been very heightened sexually after the coma. 365 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,914 [Tony] Wow. Interesting. 366 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:22,849 Very interesting. 367 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,852 It is. My son did a bunch of research on it. 368 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,820 I bet he did. 369 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,288 Ew. From behind? 370 00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:31,691 -Redban. -[Red Dawn] No! 371 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:33,893 -I love it. -It cracked me up. 372 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,161 Yeah, Jeff Ross. 373 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,863 Tony, I don't know. 374 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,365 People can boo if they're… 375 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:42,335 But I think you're fucking… There's something very special about you. 376 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:43,736 -[Red Dawn] Well, thank you. -[Tony] I agree. 377 00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:46,639 I don't know if it's comedy, but it's you. 378 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,742 There's something positive no matter what comes up. 379 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,444 You just go, "Yes." 380 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:55,014 And even-- you just lead with love, and I love that about you. 381 00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,283 -I love you all! -What's your name? Red Dawn? 382 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,252 Give it up for Red Dawn, in my opinion. 383 00:16:59,318 --> 00:17:01,754 -[Tony] Red Dawn. -[crowd applauding, cheering] 384 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:02,822 [Jeff] And if… 385 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:06,592 I think if we're nice to her, we might get fucking Magnus laid, 386 00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,060 so I'm really working here. 387 00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:10,796 [Tony chuckles] I agree. 388 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,533 Red Dawn, I love your style. Thanks for coming out. 389 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,334 I love different shapes and sizes of people. 390 00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,370 -Here's a big joke book for you. -Thank you. 391 00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:19,272 -Ah! -[Tony] Boom. Red Dawn. 392 00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:20,907 Thank you very much. 393 00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:24,010 [Tony] There she goes, everybody. Make some noise for Red Dawn, everyone. 394 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,278 [crowd cheering] 395 00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:27,980 Remember, don't hate, masturbate. 396 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:31,017 That is one horny old bitch, everybody. 397 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:33,653 -There she goes. -Would you fuck her if no one knew? 398 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,355 [Tony chuckles] What? Shut up. Put the mic down. 399 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,525 [chuckles] All right, guys. 400 00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:42,762 Back to the bucket we go, folks. 401 00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:45,431 Let's see what we got here. 402 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,366 ["Veil of Fire" playing] 403 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,136 [Tony] Oh my God. 404 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,672 [Redban] What's happening? 405 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,941 [crowd cheering] 406 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,076 [inaudible] 407 00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,849 By God, it's Kane! 408 00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:06,252 [chuckles] 409 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:13,326 Make some noise for Kane, everybody! 410 00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:15,962 [crowd cheering, applauding] 411 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,703 {\an8}[Undertaker] Did you meet Red Dawn? 412 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,272 {\an8}What's that? Yeah, saw that. 413 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,308 Do I start? 414 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:33,079 I mean, forget about Kane, it's The Undertaker, 415 00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:34,714 how awesome is that, right? 416 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,415 [crowd cheering, applauding] 417 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,819 I'm supposed to do like 60 seconds of stand-up, 418 00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:42,421 so guys, hang with me, all right? 419 00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:45,591 You know, I lost my mind after getting out of wrestling 420 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,159 and went into politics. 421 00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:50,129 And as someone who has done both now, 422 00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:53,366 I can tell you that politics is just like wrestling, 423 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:55,301 it's just not nearly as entertaining. 424 00:18:57,003 --> 00:19:00,172 In wrestling, we've got great heels like "Rowdy" Roddy Piper 425 00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:02,508 and Ric Flair, Randy Orton. 426 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,143 [crowd cheering, applauding] 427 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:08,080 In politics, we've got Dr. Anthony Fauci. 428 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,749 [crowd booing] 429 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,452 And here's the thing, I'm not even talking about the COVID stuff, okay? 430 00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,955 This dude funded experiments 431 00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:19,225 in which beagles were tortured to death. 432 00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:21,794 [crowd booing] 433 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:26,499 Kane is a sadistic monster, but even he loves puppies. 434 00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:29,368 [crowd cheering, applauding] 435 00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:33,506 And if you think that the storylines in WWE are wild, 436 00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:34,974 I've got one for you. 437 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:38,744 The government is going to give billions of dollars 438 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:42,048 without any oversight or accountability 439 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,617 to Somali immigrants in Minnesota 440 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,218 to build daycares. 441 00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:47,787 [crowd booing] 442 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:53,492 And then, it's like everyone is aghast because there's no daycares, 443 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:56,429 but there's a lot of new Somali millionaires. 444 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,398 Speaking of Minnesota, 445 00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:01,467 you guys may have seen this a while back, 446 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,602 Governor Tim Walz… 447 00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,771 -[crowd booing] -…claimed that he could kick the asses… 448 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,807 [chuckles] This is just like wrestling actually, 449 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,108 this is awesome. 450 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,811 Claimed that he could kick the asses of Trump supporters. 451 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:16,515 So I challenged him to a charity wrestling exhibition. 452 00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:18,084 You guys are gonna be shocked. 453 00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:19,885 [crowd cheering, applauding] 454 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:22,922 And you guys are gonna be shocked, he never got back to me. 455 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,123 [crowd laughing] 456 00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:26,592 I guess that's why they call him Tampon Tim. 457 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,461 Ba-da-bum-ching, I'm done. Thank you. 458 00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:30,096 Kane, ladies and gentlemen. 459 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,298 Glad I could make it out tonight for a wild talk. All right. 460 00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:33,666 [crowd cheering, applauding] 461 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,601 How awesome is this? 462 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,571 -The mayor of Knoxville, Tennessee. -Yeah. 463 00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:39,605 Knox County. 464 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,107 -[Tony] Knox County. -Knox County, close. 465 00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:43,342 -[Tony] All right. I got it. -Yes. 466 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:44,610 Uh… 467 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,812 -This is your brother. -My little brother. Yeah. 468 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:49,415 -[laughs] -[Kane] Yeah. 469 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:51,450 How do you feel 470 00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:53,385 about watching your brother do stand-up comedy? 471 00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:54,820 That's awesome. 472 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,689 That's the greatest thing I've ever seen. 473 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:02,862 So, have you guys seen Triple A in Mexico? 474 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:03,829 [crowd cheering] 475 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,965 Is he not doing an amazing job? 476 00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:10,569 But then the thing is, I'm like, "Wait." 477 00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:13,472 "The Undertaker is booking Triple A?" 478 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,041 And now he's on this show? 479 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,209 It's awesome. 480 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,646 -Are you done? -No. 481 00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,281 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 482 00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:23,816 [Kane] I never get the spotlight. 483 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:26,218 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 484 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,319 Just sell. 485 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,188 I'll take the pin. 486 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:34,827 [Jeff] I don't know what that was. That was, like, political. 487 00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:37,429 That was, like, were you Kane or McCain? 488 00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:39,431 -[Tony laughs] -[crowd laughing] 489 00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:41,867 Well, maybe both. I don't know. 490 00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:43,269 [Jeff] No, that was very entertaining. 491 00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,738 That was some of my favorite Somali immigrant humor 492 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,174 that I've heard here in Vegas in a long time. 493 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,742 Pretty easy target right now. 494 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,778 I love it. No, it's true. 495 00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:54,313 It's really going down. 496 00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:58,317 How are things in Knox County? Are there Somali immigrants there? 497 00:21:58,384 --> 00:21:59,518 Yes, we-- Yes. 498 00:21:59,585 --> 00:22:01,654 -[Tony] Oh, wow. -We have, yeah, we have everybody. 499 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:02,655 -[Tony] Okay. -Yeah. 500 00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:04,790 Do you ever go around and put on your mask at night 501 00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:05,724 and scare them 502 00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:07,693 and, like, knock on their doors to try to get them? 503 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,161 Wait, that's not a mask? 504 00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:10,563 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 505 00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:12,798 [Kane] No, no. 506 00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:13,966 I love it. 507 00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:16,168 I've been watching you my entire life, 508 00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:18,237 and it is such an honor to have you on this show. 509 00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:20,339 -[Kane] Thank you. -You used to scare the hell out of me. 510 00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:22,274 Thank you. Thank y'all. 511 00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:24,643 [Tony] Kane, ladies and gentlemen, the great. 512 00:22:24,710 --> 00:22:27,112 [crowd cheering, applauding] 513 00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:29,548 [Tony] Heck yeah. 514 00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:33,752 Make some noise for Glenn Jacobs, Kane, everybody, 515 00:22:33,819 --> 00:22:35,020 one more time, the man. 516 00:22:35,087 --> 00:22:36,121 Thank you so much. 517 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:38,290 Heck yeah. 518 00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:41,727 [Jeff] Tony, it's so funny watching you live out 519 00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,662 your childhood dreams tonight. 520 00:22:43,729 --> 00:22:45,497 Yeah, it really is. 521 00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:47,933 This is where the show came from, you know, 522 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:52,137 big entrances, theme songs, building of characters 523 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:55,541 week after week, every Monday at 8:00 p.m., right? 524 00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:58,344 The whole thing is really built off of… 525 00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:01,580 -Twelve years. -Have you missed a Monday in twelve years? 526 00:23:01,647 --> 00:23:03,048 Thirteen years, and no. 527 00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:05,284 We've put out a show every Monday at 8:00 p.m. 528 00:23:05,351 --> 00:23:06,518 for 13 years straight. 529 00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:07,553 Incredible. 530 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:09,488 -Incredible. -Yeah. 531 00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:13,425 And how many of those shows had Kane doing comedy? 532 00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:15,194 [chuckles] Right, absolutely zero. 533 00:23:15,261 --> 00:23:17,496 -[Jeff] Congratulations. -Thank you. 534 00:23:17,997 --> 00:23:21,467 Thank you. We've had Kane and Red Dawn on the same show. 535 00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:24,436 That goes to show you the range of a Kill Tony episode. 536 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:26,939 "My pussy's crazy!" 537 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,242 And then a mayor of an actual county. 538 00:23:30,309 --> 00:23:31,644 [crowd laughing] 539 00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:34,613 All right, to the bucket we go. We're gonna meet them all together. 540 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,049 Make some noise for Evan Connolly, everybody. 541 00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:38,484 Evan Connolly. 542 00:23:38,550 --> 00:23:41,587 -[upbeat jazzy music playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 543 00:23:47,293 --> 00:23:49,461 I'm Irish and Filipino, 544 00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:51,463 [crowd cheering] 545 00:23:51,530 --> 00:23:54,833 which is why I kind of look like I'm on the spectrum. 546 00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:56,702 [crowd laughing] 547 00:23:57,436 --> 00:24:00,339 I have what my doctor calls resting special ed face. 548 00:24:00,406 --> 00:24:02,041 [crowd laughing] 549 00:24:02,841 --> 00:24:04,576 It's my dad that's Filipino, 550 00:24:04,643 --> 00:24:06,078 and we don't look much alike. 551 00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:08,781 He used to pick me up from school when I was a kid. 552 00:24:08,847 --> 00:24:10,816 My teachers would be like, "Evan, why do you get 553 00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:13,285 in the car of a random Asian man after class?" 554 00:24:13,919 --> 00:24:15,888 I'd be like, "Oh, that's my dad." 555 00:24:16,422 --> 00:24:19,224 And then they'd be like, "Why are you failing math?" 556 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:21,760 [crowd laughing] 557 00:24:22,494 --> 00:24:24,029 Whenever I say that, people ask 558 00:24:24,096 --> 00:24:27,132 if I'm really Filipino, which I am. 559 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,470 Nobody has ever asked if I was really on the spectrum. 560 00:24:31,537 --> 00:24:33,372 [crowd laughing] 561 00:24:33,439 --> 00:24:36,709 They're like, "I'm not sure, but that autistic kid looks a lot 562 00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:38,677 like 'Stone Cold' Steve Autism." 563 00:24:38,744 --> 00:24:40,479 [crowd laughing] 564 00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:42,815 It's flattering. 565 00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:45,250 [crowd cheering, applauding] 566 00:24:45,918 --> 00:24:47,152 Is that the minute? 567 00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:50,189 That is exactly one minute from Evan Connolly. 568 00:24:50,923 --> 00:24:52,257 You know exactly when a minute is. 569 00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:53,325 Very funny set. 570 00:24:53,392 --> 00:24:54,727 I'm guessing you've been doing this a while. 571 00:24:54,793 --> 00:24:58,530 -How long have you been doing stand-up? -About four and a half years. Out here. 572 00:24:58,597 --> 00:25:00,399 -All of it in Vegas? -Yep. 573 00:25:00,466 --> 00:25:02,901 -Nice. Well, welcome, welcome. -Thank you. 574 00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:05,004 Have you ever done a show this big before? 575 00:25:05,070 --> 00:25:06,605 No. [chuckles] 576 00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:08,841 I love the "Stone Cold" Steve Autism joke. 577 00:25:08,907 --> 00:25:09,775 Very funny. 578 00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:11,910 Haven't heard anything like that before. 579 00:25:11,977 --> 00:25:14,613 What's autistic about you? What's your specialty? 580 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,149 What's your finishing move of autism? 581 00:25:17,216 --> 00:25:18,517 [chuckling] You're good at math or something? 582 00:25:18,584 --> 00:25:21,286 I solve a Rubik's Cube and smash it off my head. 583 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,421 [Tony] Oh, wow. 584 00:25:24,323 --> 00:25:26,291 Amazing. Amazing. 585 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,060 Any other autistic tricks that you have? 586 00:25:28,127 --> 00:25:31,663 I'm always intrigued by the gifts of the autistic people. 587 00:25:32,331 --> 00:25:33,932 I'm a casino dealer out here, 588 00:25:33,999 --> 00:25:36,769 and that's like being professionally autistic. 589 00:25:36,835 --> 00:25:38,337 -[Tony] -[chuckles] Kinda. 590 00:25:38,404 --> 00:25:40,172 What's his game? What game does he play? 591 00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:41,407 Yeah. What are you dealing? 592 00:25:41,473 --> 00:25:42,574 Texas Hold'em. 593 00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:44,476 -Oh, nice. -And poker. 594 00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:48,347 What's the craziest thing that's happened at the table that you've worked at? 595 00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:50,649 -Uh, hookers. -[Tony] Oh. 596 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:52,484 Seen people get hookers. 597 00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:54,486 I didn't know it was that common. [chuckles] 598 00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:57,656 It just happens. They just hang out and head out. 599 00:25:57,723 --> 00:26:00,626 -[Tony] Right. -[chuckles] That's about it. 600 00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:04,163 Do you know any good deals or anything that you could share? 601 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,031 -About… -[Jeff] Can you give us a tip? 602 00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:07,866 [Evan chuckles] Deals, yeah. 603 00:26:07,933 --> 00:26:10,436 If I wink at you 32 times, fold. 604 00:26:10,936 --> 00:26:12,337 [Tony] Okay. 605 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:15,074 -[chuckles, mumbles] -[crowd laughing] 606 00:26:16,041 --> 00:26:17,176 [Tony] I'll start counting. 607 00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:18,177 [Evan chuckles] 608 00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:20,412 -[Jeff] I like this guy, Tony. -Yeah. 609 00:26:20,479 --> 00:26:22,781 -You're fantastic, Evan. -Thank you. 610 00:26:22,848 --> 00:26:26,318 Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have any Love on the Spectrum? 611 00:26:26,385 --> 00:26:28,520 -[chuckles] No. -[crowd laughing] 612 00:26:29,521 --> 00:26:31,256 Uh, no, I'm a free agent. 613 00:26:31,824 --> 00:26:32,791 [Tony] What's it like? 614 00:26:32,858 --> 00:26:34,326 What can people expect going on a date 615 00:26:34,393 --> 00:26:36,829 with Evan Connolly other than a Rubik's Cube? 616 00:26:36,895 --> 00:26:38,030 [chuckles] 617 00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:40,399 Um, a train set? 618 00:26:40,466 --> 00:26:42,868 -[train horn blowing] -No, no, I'm kidding. 619 00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:45,204 Wow, very quick on that sound effect. 620 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:47,739 We've got trains and fire trucks ready to go. 621 00:26:47,806 --> 00:26:50,309 Oh, wow. What are your thoughts on fire trucks? 622 00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:51,610 Do you love fire trucks? 623 00:26:51,677 --> 00:26:53,045 Do I have any fire trucks? 624 00:26:53,112 --> 00:26:55,013 [Tony] Do you love fire trucks? 625 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,149 Yeah, I lick the window whenever they drive by. 626 00:26:57,216 --> 00:26:58,784 -[Tony chuckles] Very good. -[siren blaring] 627 00:26:58,851 --> 00:27:00,385 [Tony] That's an ambulance, but okay. 628 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:01,920 -[air siren blaring] -Thank you. 629 00:27:03,589 --> 00:27:05,991 Amazing. The last date that you've been on, though, 630 00:27:06,058 --> 00:27:07,092 I'm curious to know, 631 00:27:07,159 --> 00:27:10,429 because I have some friends that watch Love on the Spectrum, 632 00:27:10,496 --> 00:27:13,332 -and I find it very, very intriguing. -[Evan] Oh yeah. 633 00:27:14,066 --> 00:27:17,102 Just to be clear, I said I look like I'm on the spectrum. 634 00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:19,671 -I am not… -[Tony] Oh, okay. 635 00:27:19,738 --> 00:27:21,673 I don't want like stolen valor. 636 00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:23,142 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 637 00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:24,610 Irish Filipino. 638 00:27:26,211 --> 00:27:28,580 I went with it three times, you know. 639 00:27:29,181 --> 00:27:31,350 The fourth time, I'm pinning it. 640 00:27:31,416 --> 00:27:33,318 -[Tony] Got it. -That's about it. 641 00:27:33,385 --> 00:27:34,786 Got it. Perfect. 642 00:27:34,853 --> 00:27:38,123 My friend, you nailed it. Very, very fun set. 643 00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:39,825 -Here's a big joke book. -Thank you. Appreciate it. 644 00:27:39,892 --> 00:27:41,793 -Here you go, buddy. -[crowd cheering, applauding] 645 00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:42,728 [Tony] Boom. 646 00:27:43,262 --> 00:27:45,497 There he goes, Evan Connolly. 647 00:27:47,933 --> 00:27:49,935 Let's kick this thing up a notch, everybody. 648 00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:54,506 I have one of the great regulars of Kill Tony here, 649 00:27:54,573 --> 00:27:56,508 ready to do yet another set. 650 00:27:56,575 --> 00:27:58,777 This guy never takes a week off. 651 00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:02,347 He's absolutely dominating Las Vegas, Nevada. 652 00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:05,684 Make some noise for the great Dedrick Flynn, everybody. 653 00:28:05,751 --> 00:28:06,618 Here we go. 654 00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:10,289 -[upbeat jazzy music playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 655 00:28:13,425 --> 00:28:17,029 You know, people are gonna tell you 656 00:28:17,095 --> 00:28:23,802 {\an8}that women want you more when you have like a girlfriend or a wife 657 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:26,939 {\an8}because they want what they can't have. 658 00:28:27,739 --> 00:28:31,843 But I'm here to tell y'all it's just because we look better. 659 00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:35,113 Because we're better kept. 660 00:28:36,515 --> 00:28:38,350 Have y'all seen single dudes? 661 00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:41,987 Single dudes look and smell like what happens after years 662 00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:45,224 of kicking ice cubes underneath the refrigerator. 663 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:52,130 And then the radiation melt the ice and then the mold come in 664 00:28:52,197 --> 00:28:56,235 and then it make a, it form a body and it crawl out and it's like… 665 00:28:56,301 --> 00:28:58,337 [in raspy voice] "You should smile more." 666 00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,839 [crowd laughing] 667 00:29:02,708 --> 00:29:05,277 And the reason why we're so better kept 668 00:29:05,344 --> 00:29:11,016 is because we're using their hair care products in the shower. 669 00:29:12,951 --> 00:29:17,389 Long are the days of me using my six-in-one body wash. 670 00:29:18,056 --> 00:29:19,124 [cat meows] 671 00:29:19,191 --> 00:29:24,496 Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, ZYN juice, 672 00:29:25,864 --> 00:29:29,901 the original Four Loko recipe with the caffeine in it, 673 00:29:30,969 --> 00:29:32,471 and DUI tears. 674 00:29:34,339 --> 00:29:36,608 Nah, she got good shit. She got… 675 00:29:37,309 --> 00:29:38,610 Her shower looked 676 00:29:38,677 --> 00:29:41,413 like Gordon Ramsay's seasoning cabinet 677 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,348 and two black Southern women. 678 00:29:45,250 --> 00:29:48,854 You remember you used to suicide the sodas in Taco Bell? 679 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,489 That's me with her shit. 680 00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:54,092 She think I'm in there jacking off. 681 00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:56,295 Nah, I'm just trying stuff out. 682 00:29:58,163 --> 00:30:00,866 They got shit called purple shampoo. 683 00:30:00,932 --> 00:30:05,203 It's only for people with blonde hair or a nigga with free time. 684 00:30:05,270 --> 00:30:07,506 [crowd laughing] 685 00:30:08,373 --> 00:30:11,643 Bro, they got these shit called bath bombs. 686 00:30:12,144 --> 00:30:16,448 It takes bubble baths to a whole new level. 687 00:30:16,948 --> 00:30:19,985 This shit is a bomb that you drop in there 688 00:30:20,052 --> 00:30:22,487 and it changes the color of the water 689 00:30:22,554 --> 00:30:25,123 and it got sprinkles and glitter in there 690 00:30:25,190 --> 00:30:28,827 and it's got lavender oils and all these scents. 691 00:30:28,894 --> 00:30:33,699 And that's why women look so delicious, is because they treat their body 692 00:30:33,765 --> 00:30:35,334 like a crawfish boil. 693 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,935 [crowd laughing] 694 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,538 -That's my time, I love y'all. -[crowd cheering] 695 00:30:39,604 --> 00:30:44,076 [Tony] Dedrick Flynn, The Dark Storm of Austin, Texas. 696 00:30:44,142 --> 00:30:46,278 -[laughs] -[Tony] Hell yeah, buddy. 697 00:30:46,345 --> 00:30:47,713 What an amazing set. 698 00:30:47,779 --> 00:30:51,883 Over two minutes, always doing more work than you have to. 699 00:30:51,950 --> 00:30:54,386 -Yeah. -[Tony] Amazing, amazing set. 700 00:30:54,453 --> 00:30:55,887 You're having fun, huh? 701 00:30:55,954 --> 00:30:59,124 I'm having the greatest time of my motherfucking life! 702 00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:02,094 Las Vegas! 703 00:31:03,261 --> 00:31:05,263 -[Tony] The crowd goes wild. -[Dedrick] Oh my God. 704 00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:06,631 Oh man. 705 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:08,400 Can I do a quick shout-out, Tony? 706 00:31:08,467 --> 00:31:09,534 [Tony] Absolutely. 707 00:31:09,601 --> 00:31:14,106 My mama's birthday on Wednesday, and this is going to air. 708 00:31:14,606 --> 00:31:17,442 And I promised my mama when she turned 55 709 00:31:17,509 --> 00:31:20,445 that before she turned 60, I was going to be on Netflix. 710 00:31:20,512 --> 00:31:23,382 Now I'm on there twice before she turns 60. 711 00:31:23,448 --> 00:31:24,983 Y'all make sure you buy her a drink! 712 00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:26,952 I love you, mama! 713 00:31:27,018 --> 00:31:28,787 -[crowd cheering] -[Tony] Hell yeah. 714 00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:32,057 Awesome. 715 00:31:32,124 --> 00:31:34,726 Jeff Ross, you've seen Dedrick. 716 00:31:34,793 --> 00:31:36,728 -I want to meet your mom. -[crowd laughing] 717 00:31:36,795 --> 00:31:37,662 You can. 718 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:38,864 She's cool as fuck. 719 00:31:38,930 --> 00:31:40,432 [Jeff] She sounds cool. 720 00:31:40,499 --> 00:31:41,666 I loved your jokes tonight. 721 00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:45,303 I'm glad you really took down those bath bombs. 722 00:31:45,370 --> 00:31:47,172 [both laugh] 723 00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:49,241 -[Jeff] They deserve it. -[laughs] 724 00:31:49,307 --> 00:31:50,175 [Tony] Yeah. 725 00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:52,744 It was awesome, man. I hope you get all the teeth you need. 726 00:31:52,811 --> 00:31:54,513 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 727 00:31:55,180 --> 00:31:58,016 Dedrick, that was great. You killed in this giant arena. 728 00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,886 -Thank you so much, man. -You're crushing, Dedrick. 729 00:32:00,952 --> 00:32:03,922 Uh, you're an old-school wrestling fan. 730 00:32:03,989 --> 00:32:05,023 -Right? -Yes, I am. 731 00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:06,992 This is a big deal, being around Mania? 732 00:32:07,058 --> 00:32:08,860 Yeah, looking… Man. 733 00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:10,929 I see you eyeballing The Undertaker. 734 00:32:11,530 --> 00:32:13,265 Can't tell whether you're scared or excited. 735 00:32:13,331 --> 00:32:15,600 I used to watch you on the big booty TVs. 736 00:32:15,667 --> 00:32:16,968 [crowd laughing] 737 00:32:17,035 --> 00:32:18,570 You know what I'm talking about, the big booty TVs? 738 00:32:18,637 --> 00:32:19,838 Oh, yeah, I got you. Yep. 739 00:32:19,905 --> 00:32:21,506 The ones you turn, like, with a knob, 740 00:32:21,573 --> 00:32:22,641 and when you turn it off, you got 741 00:32:22,707 --> 00:32:25,410 that electric cheese when you wipe across the screen. 742 00:32:26,578 --> 00:32:28,980 Boy, I love you so fucking much, man. 743 00:32:29,047 --> 00:32:30,649 It's so good to meet you. 744 00:32:30,715 --> 00:32:33,084 [crowd cheering, applauding] 745 00:32:38,123 --> 00:32:40,625 You remember him from, I believe, the first coffin match. 746 00:32:40,692 --> 00:32:43,061 This is Kamala. Uh, here he is. 747 00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:45,630 -[both laugh] -[crowd laughing] 748 00:32:47,199 --> 00:32:50,302 Holding strong. Looking better than ever. 749 00:32:50,368 --> 00:32:52,370 I'm gonna need that urn back though, man. 750 00:32:52,437 --> 00:32:53,972 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 751 00:32:54,039 --> 00:32:55,740 It was… [laughs] 752 00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:58,877 Dedrick's ashier than anything that's ever been in that urn. 753 00:33:00,679 --> 00:33:02,914 [Undertaker] I think those teeth are the urn. 754 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:04,249 Oh yeah. 755 00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:06,751 He melted down the urn and used it as a grill. 756 00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:07,853 Y'all can't be mean to me. 757 00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:09,020 I'm on Netflix. 758 00:33:09,087 --> 00:33:11,423 -[Tony laughs] -Uh, I-- I… 759 00:33:11,490 --> 00:33:14,192 I rebuke your mean comments in the name of Jesus, 760 00:33:14,693 --> 00:33:17,429 and I'm just gonna bask in my glow. 761 00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:19,564 [crowd cheering, applauding] 762 00:33:19,631 --> 00:33:23,869 [Tony] I love it. The American dream alive and well. 763 00:33:26,171 --> 00:33:28,974 Signed up, what, 59 times? 764 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:30,909 -Thirty-nine times. -[Tony] Thirty-nine times. 765 00:33:30,976 --> 00:33:33,578 Told everybody, "This is my last time signing up." 766 00:33:33,645 --> 00:33:35,013 "I'm sick of hanging out 767 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,083 with all these fucking filthy open micers at the bar 768 00:33:38,149 --> 00:33:40,952 next to the Mothership," where we contain everybody. 769 00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:43,522 Told everyone, "This is my last time signing up." 770 00:33:43,588 --> 00:33:47,058 "If I don't get up tonight, I'm going back to Atlanta, 771 00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:49,294 where I'm respected and can make some money." 772 00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:52,330 And that night, he got pulled out of the bucket of destiny, 773 00:33:52,397 --> 00:33:53,532 and his life has changed. 774 00:33:53,598 --> 00:33:55,867 This is his second appearance on Netflix. 775 00:33:55,934 --> 00:33:58,336 Every single time, he crushes. 776 00:33:58,403 --> 00:34:00,839 The American dream right in front of your eyes. 777 00:34:00,906 --> 00:34:03,475 Ladies and gentlemen, one more time for Dedrick Flynn. 778 00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:06,211 -[crowd cheering] -[Dedrick] I love you! 779 00:34:06,278 --> 00:34:09,614 -Kill Tony! -[Tony] Hell yeah. 780 00:34:11,116 --> 00:34:13,451 The man, Dedrick Flynn. 781 00:34:14,819 --> 00:34:16,788 Heck yeah. We love you, Dedrick. 782 00:34:16,855 --> 00:34:18,857 Get the hell out of here. There he goes. 783 00:34:18,924 --> 00:34:21,092 -[crowd cheering] -[Tony laughs] 784 00:34:21,159 --> 00:34:22,594 [upbeat funky music playing] 785 00:34:22,661 --> 00:34:23,662 All right. 786 00:34:24,162 --> 00:34:26,932 I got a special treat for you guys, ladies and gentlemen. 787 00:34:26,998 --> 00:34:29,701 We have a young man who you know very well, 788 00:34:29,768 --> 00:34:32,037 and you know for a fact that he's a wrestling fan 789 00:34:32,103 --> 00:34:35,774 because he's been one of the most wrestling-like characters 790 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,842 ever since his debut on Kill Tony. 791 00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:39,644 You've gotten to watch him grow. 792 00:34:39,711 --> 00:34:43,081 We've all watched him grow from a normal civilian 793 00:34:43,148 --> 00:34:44,516 to a comedian. 794 00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:46,818 This is the guy, you know him, you love him, 795 00:34:46,885 --> 00:34:51,623 Uncle Lazer, ladies and gentlemen, is here, live in the flesh. 796 00:34:52,624 --> 00:34:54,492 Living his dream 797 00:34:54,559 --> 00:34:57,662 on a wrestling edition of Kill Tony. 798 00:34:57,729 --> 00:35:01,866 -[upbeat rock music playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 799 00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:12,143 {\an8}-[music concludes] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 800 00:35:12,210 --> 00:35:15,080 {\an8}Hey, y'all, Vegas, y'all ready to party?! 801 00:35:15,146 --> 00:35:17,182 {\an8}[crowd cheering] 802 00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:22,787 Hey, well, listen, there's two things you don't do at a party, okay? 803 00:35:23,855 --> 00:35:26,458 You don't talk about God, you don't talk about politics, 804 00:35:26,524 --> 00:35:28,426 so let's talk about the Jews, listen. 805 00:35:28,493 --> 00:35:30,662 [crowd laughing] 806 00:35:30,729 --> 00:35:33,665 Now, listen, I need you to know, I'm from a small town, okay? 807 00:35:33,732 --> 00:35:37,035 Where I'm from, we burn trash for fun, we fuck our relatives 808 00:35:37,102 --> 00:35:39,004 'cause it's cost-effective, you know? 809 00:35:40,405 --> 00:35:42,807 I don't know shit about no Jew. I never seen no Jew. 810 00:35:42,874 --> 00:35:44,409 Where I'm from, there's no Jews. 811 00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:47,212 And where I'm originally from, we used to put them in summer camps. 812 00:35:47,278 --> 00:35:49,347 [crowd laughing] 813 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:53,184 But I went to New York and they got a different type of Jew. 814 00:35:53,251 --> 00:35:54,419 Acidic. 815 00:35:54,486 --> 00:35:56,955 [crowd chuckling] 816 00:36:00,358 --> 00:36:02,027 Orange juice Jew, you know? 817 00:36:03,895 --> 00:36:06,297 And look, man, I'm a fucking retard, okay? 818 00:36:06,364 --> 00:36:10,235 But I saw there was a hot dog stand. I was going to go get me a glizzy, okay? 819 00:36:10,301 --> 00:36:13,772 And I walked up there, and it says "kosher dog." 820 00:36:13,838 --> 00:36:14,973 It didn't have no pictures. 821 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,910 Well, look, my dumb ass thought-- I though "kosher" meant grilled onions. 822 00:36:19,644 --> 00:36:22,080 -[cat meows] -[crowd laughing] 823 00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:25,050 And so I ordered it. 824 00:36:25,116 --> 00:36:27,118 He handed me the bun, just a wiener and bun. 825 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:30,555 I said, "Where's the onions?" He goes, "That's not what that means." 826 00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:32,991 And I said, "What's it mean?" 827 00:36:33,058 --> 00:36:35,960 He said, "Well, it means it's been blessed by a rabbi." 828 00:36:37,829 --> 00:36:40,231 I said, "Do you know what's in a hot dog?" 829 00:36:42,233 --> 00:36:44,736 And he looked at me, he said, "It's people like you, rednecks like you 830 00:36:44,803 --> 00:36:46,271 that are ruining this fucking country." 831 00:36:46,337 --> 00:36:48,807 I said, "Hold on just a goddamn minute." 832 00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:53,678 I said, "You mean to tell me 833 00:36:53,745 --> 00:36:56,748 you got to have a rabbi bless this hot dog, 834 00:36:56,815 --> 00:36:59,250 but y'all don't need permits from the city of New York 835 00:36:59,317 --> 00:37:01,820 to build them tunnels under that synagogue?" 836 00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:04,622 "Give me my motherfucking grilled onions, boy!" 837 00:37:04,689 --> 00:37:07,125 [crowd cheering, applauding] 838 00:37:08,927 --> 00:37:10,328 [Tony] All right. 839 00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:12,363 I'm pretty sure our show has been canceled. 840 00:37:12,430 --> 00:37:14,632 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 841 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:19,437 I was informed today that Redban, you took a taxi cab here, right? 842 00:37:19,504 --> 00:37:20,605 -A Vegas cab. -Yeah. 843 00:37:20,672 --> 00:37:24,976 As you know, here, this is one of the last cities of taxi cabs existing 844 00:37:25,043 --> 00:37:26,611 'cause they're outside of the casinos. 845 00:37:26,678 --> 00:37:27,712 You just jump in one. 846 00:37:27,779 --> 00:37:29,481 You tell them where you're going, this and that. 847 00:37:29,547 --> 00:37:31,483 And then you got in the taxi cab 848 00:37:31,549 --> 00:37:33,451 and they ask, "Where are you going? What are you up to?" 849 00:37:33,518 --> 00:37:36,254 And you said, Kill Tony. And the cab driver said… 850 00:37:36,321 --> 00:37:39,657 [in foreign accent] "Oh, I met somebody on Kill Tony show last night." 851 00:37:39,724 --> 00:37:43,161 "I took him and he didn't tip me. I don't know what I did wrong." 852 00:37:43,228 --> 00:37:45,029 "I don't-- What did I do?" 853 00:37:45,897 --> 00:37:49,601 You didn't tip a cab driver last night here in Las Vegas. 854 00:37:49,667 --> 00:37:50,802 This is an actual fact. 855 00:37:50,869 --> 00:37:53,171 You're watching us. We held on to the secret. 856 00:37:53,238 --> 00:37:54,773 We've been talking about it all day, 857 00:37:54,839 --> 00:37:57,375 about how we're gonna bring it up when he's on the show. 858 00:37:57,442 --> 00:38:00,445 [crowd booing] 859 00:38:00,512 --> 00:38:02,180 [Tony laughs] 860 00:38:03,381 --> 00:38:05,483 [Uncle Lazer] Fuck y'all, shut up, listen. 861 00:38:06,518 --> 00:38:08,486 -[Tony] Meanwhile-- -[Uncle Lazer] Listen, I'm cash poor. 862 00:38:08,553 --> 00:38:10,688 I'm cash poor, I'm gonna be honest with you. 863 00:38:10,755 --> 00:38:14,058 And first off, listen, it wasn't a taxi, Redban. 864 00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,326 It was a fucking Uber. 865 00:38:15,393 --> 00:38:17,762 And second of all, look, if you drive bad, 866 00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:20,799 breaking hard, turning too fast, I'm shifting on the fucking window, 867 00:38:20,865 --> 00:38:22,300 I won't give you no stars 868 00:38:22,367 --> 00:38:23,768 'cause I know that's how you make your living, 869 00:38:23,835 --> 00:38:25,503 but I'm not gonna fucking tip you. 870 00:38:25,570 --> 00:38:27,806 So fucking Ying Yang Ding or whoever that was, 871 00:38:27,872 --> 00:38:29,440 not going to tip you, dude. 872 00:38:31,042 --> 00:38:33,511 Don't come at me like that, Redban. God damn it. 873 00:38:34,078 --> 00:38:37,482 You are saying our show-- You're representing our show. 874 00:38:37,549 --> 00:38:39,717 He's going to talk shit about Kill Tony 875 00:38:39,784 --> 00:38:42,453 and how we're cheap-ass bastards now forever 876 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,255 because of your-- You can't even tip him a dollar? 877 00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:45,323 Come on, dude. 878 00:38:45,390 --> 00:38:46,925 That's crazy 'cause he fucking messaged me back. 879 00:38:46,991 --> 00:38:48,793 He goes, "Redban didn't tip either." 880 00:38:48,860 --> 00:38:50,662 -So now… -[Redban] I tipped for you! 881 00:38:50,728 --> 00:38:52,363 He didn't say that. That's not a real thing. 882 00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:53,698 You didn't go check back in with him. 883 00:38:53,765 --> 00:38:58,469 But I will say this, is not tipping local people here in the city 884 00:38:58,536 --> 00:39:00,405 and then coming out and doing an entire set 885 00:39:00,471 --> 00:39:02,640 about Jews is very contradictory. 886 00:39:02,707 --> 00:39:03,942 [crowd laughing] 887 00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:05,977 -I will say that. -Listen-- [chuckles] 888 00:39:06,044 --> 00:39:08,580 -I get it, dude. -[Jeff] Amen. 889 00:39:08,646 --> 00:39:10,715 -[laughs] -I get it. You got to save the show. 890 00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:12,817 But listen, I'm telling you, look. 891 00:39:12,884 --> 00:39:15,019 If you don't do a good job, I'm not gonna tip you. 892 00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:16,521 What did he do wrong? 893 00:39:16,588 --> 00:39:20,091 What do you expect when you get in an Asian cab driver's car exactly? 894 00:39:20,158 --> 00:39:23,461 You think he's going to NASCAR you to the hotel on the monorail? 895 00:39:25,330 --> 00:39:27,031 Look, my grandma was old, but she was, 896 00:39:27,098 --> 00:39:29,934 you know, she's slow, but like she could drive… 897 00:39:30,001 --> 00:39:32,503 I'm pretty sure she was on the show tonight. 898 00:39:32,570 --> 00:39:34,505 [crowd laughing] 899 00:39:34,572 --> 00:39:36,741 Oh, that woman, Jesus's mom? 900 00:39:36,808 --> 00:39:38,476 Dude, she was all about that holy pussy. 901 00:39:38,543 --> 00:39:39,811 -Shit, I like that. -Yeah. 902 00:39:39,878 --> 00:39:41,613 I can see you two getting along real well. 903 00:39:41,679 --> 00:39:45,250 Oh, dude, I'll fucking peel this cap back and put her Old Testament. 904 00:39:45,316 --> 00:39:47,485 [Tony] I bet you'll give her the tip. 905 00:39:47,552 --> 00:39:48,853 You'll give her the tip 906 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,256 that you didn't give the Asian cab driver last night. 907 00:39:51,322 --> 00:39:53,625 [Uncle Lazer laughing] 908 00:39:53,691 --> 00:39:54,726 [Tony] Amazing. 909 00:39:54,792 --> 00:39:56,527 Uncle Lazer here at WrestleMania Weekend. 910 00:39:56,594 --> 00:39:59,530 Is there anything else crazy we should know about you? 911 00:40:00,131 --> 00:40:02,133 No, it's kind of, let's get gay real quick. 912 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,035 It's kind of bittersweet. I wasn't supposed to be here. 913 00:40:04,102 --> 00:40:06,938 I was supposed to be snowboarding in Austria at an EDM festival. 914 00:40:07,005 --> 00:40:08,907 But then my grandma had a stroke last week. 915 00:40:08,973 --> 00:40:10,642 -[Tony] Oh God. -And my dad's like, 916 00:40:10,708 --> 00:40:12,677 "Hey, we're gonna pull the plug on her on Monday." 917 00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:15,647 "And the funeral's going to be on Saturday." 918 00:40:15,713 --> 00:40:17,181 And I was like, "All right, cool." 919 00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:19,550 But they pulled the plug and she started breathing again for a couple more days. 920 00:40:19,617 --> 00:40:20,618 -She stayed alive. -Oh, wow. 921 00:40:20,685 --> 00:40:22,654 -She died. Yeah. -[air horn blaring] 922 00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:24,389 [Tony chuckles] That is the most… 923 00:40:25,023 --> 00:40:26,491 [Uncle Lazer] And so, uh… 924 00:40:26,557 --> 00:40:28,026 [chuckling] 925 00:40:29,494 --> 00:40:30,862 Yeah, I should have tipped that cab driver. 926 00:40:30,929 --> 00:40:32,964 I'm sorry, Redban. I'm so sorry. 927 00:40:33,031 --> 00:40:35,199 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing, cheering] 928 00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:36,701 [Tony] Amazing. 929 00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:38,069 Uncle Lazer, thank you so much. 930 00:40:38,136 --> 00:40:39,904 -A true wrestling fan. -Thank you for having me. Vegas! 931 00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:40,872 I'll be back! 932 00:40:45,176 --> 00:40:48,446 There he goes, Uncle Lazer, with his championship belt. 933 00:40:48,513 --> 00:40:52,684 He's the champion of tipping the least in this city this weekend. 934 00:40:53,818 --> 00:40:55,520 Reigning defending champion. 935 00:40:56,054 --> 00:40:58,022 How's it going up there on the balcony? 936 00:40:58,089 --> 00:40:59,457 [crowd cheering, applauding] 937 00:40:59,524 --> 00:41:00,525 Yeah. 938 00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:02,860 I love this venue, Tony. 939 00:41:03,394 --> 00:41:06,130 [Tony] This is awesome. The Dolby Live theater here. 940 00:41:06,197 --> 00:41:08,166 [Jeff] Everybody has a good seat. 941 00:41:08,232 --> 00:41:09,100 Yeah. 942 00:41:09,167 --> 00:41:11,202 [crowd cheering] 943 00:41:11,269 --> 00:41:15,106 A lot like the Forum will be for The Roast of Kevin Hart, May 10th. 944 00:41:15,173 --> 00:41:17,542 -[Jeff] I love it. You're in, baby. -[Tony] Yeah. We're gonna have fun. 945 00:41:17,608 --> 00:41:19,711 -[Jeff] Shane Gillis is hosting. -[Tony] Yeah. 946 00:41:19,777 --> 00:41:23,181 Make sure you check out Take a Banana for the Ride on Netflix. 947 00:41:23,247 --> 00:41:25,016 And of course, like I said earlier, 948 00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:27,986 Undertaker's podcast, Six Feet Down. 949 00:41:28,052 --> 00:41:29,087 Um… 950 00:41:29,754 --> 00:41:31,689 Six Feet Under. 951 00:41:32,190 --> 00:41:33,758 Oh. Shit. 952 00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:35,593 [chuckling] I'm so sorry. 953 00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:37,261 Hey, that's twice. 954 00:41:37,862 --> 00:41:39,764 Yeah, I'm sorry. 955 00:41:40,631 --> 00:41:42,233 [Jeff] What's the podcast about? 956 00:41:43,735 --> 00:41:45,770 People who get the name wrong and get their ass kicked. 957 00:41:45,837 --> 00:41:47,905 -[laughs] -[rimshot] 958 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:50,341 Holy shit. 959 00:41:51,109 --> 00:41:53,311 Oh shit. Shots fired. 960 00:41:54,212 --> 00:41:55,413 Oh shit. 961 00:41:55,947 --> 00:41:58,016 All right, back to the show, everybody. 962 00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:02,720 We are going with a WWE Superstar, ladies and gentlemen. 963 00:42:02,787 --> 00:42:08,226 This young lady crushed last year at The Roast of WrestleMania, 964 00:42:08,726 --> 00:42:12,430 and she dominated tonight in actual WrestleMania. 965 00:42:12,497 --> 00:42:13,931 Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise 966 00:42:13,998 --> 00:42:17,201 for the great and powerful Nia Jax, everyone! 967 00:42:17,268 --> 00:42:21,406 -["Two Bosses" playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 968 00:42:33,584 --> 00:42:36,721 -[music concludes] -[crowd cheering] 969 00:42:38,122 --> 00:42:39,824 Thanks for bringing me back, Tony. 970 00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,727 Huh, Kill Tony. 971 00:42:43,628 --> 00:42:46,297 I can think of ways to kill Tony in 60 seconds. 972 00:42:46,964 --> 00:42:50,902 {\an8}I would just sit on his face and then I would call that finisher 973 00:42:50,968 --> 00:42:52,804 {\an8}Rest In Yeast. 974 00:42:52,870 --> 00:42:55,907 {\an8}[crowd groaning, laughing] 975 00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:02,914 But you know what? I would feel really comfortable here. 976 00:43:02,980 --> 00:43:04,315 It's just like WWE. 977 00:43:04,382 --> 00:43:07,452 A lot of trauma, a lot of daddy issues in WWE. 978 00:43:07,518 --> 00:43:10,254 There's a lot of job security in our HR department. 979 00:43:10,988 --> 00:43:13,024 It's just like a Kill Tony guest 980 00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:15,226 with the job security of being disabled. 981 00:43:15,293 --> 00:43:17,228 [crowd chuckling] 982 00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:21,732 But hey, listen, as a woman whose disability is 983 00:43:21,799 --> 00:43:23,901 having massive amounts of testosterone, 984 00:43:25,470 --> 00:43:26,938 I… 985 00:43:27,004 --> 00:43:28,139 Sorry, Tony. 986 00:43:29,173 --> 00:43:31,375 [crowd laughing] 987 00:43:34,512 --> 00:43:35,947 My 60 seconds. 988 00:43:36,547 --> 00:43:38,649 Listen, Tony, being backstage 989 00:43:38,716 --> 00:43:41,786 looking at the men who are oiled up is kind of creepy. 990 00:43:41,853 --> 00:43:43,521 I just want to let you know. 991 00:43:43,588 --> 00:43:45,456 You look like a little bitch. 992 00:43:46,991 --> 00:43:49,560 You're so small I could probably use you as a tampon. 993 00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:51,429 [crowd laughing] 994 00:43:51,496 --> 00:43:52,763 But you know what? 995 00:43:52,830 --> 00:43:56,167 Second thought, I would never let anything that ugly inside of me. 996 00:43:57,068 --> 00:43:58,636 Unless it was Jeff Ross. 997 00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:01,005 [crowd cheering, applauding] 998 00:44:02,206 --> 00:44:05,309 But before I go, I wanna shout out my mother 999 00:44:05,376 --> 00:44:08,913 because she loves it when I talk about my yeasty pussy. 1000 00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:09,847 I love you, mom. 1001 00:44:11,949 --> 00:44:13,885 [Tony] That tiny lady is your mom? 1002 00:44:14,452 --> 00:44:16,621 -[Jeff] She's hot! -[Nia] That's really my mom. 1003 00:44:16,687 --> 00:44:18,589 [Tony] Oh my goodness, look at that! 1004 00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:20,625 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1005 00:44:23,394 --> 00:44:26,497 Your mom looks like a tiny little normal mom. 1006 00:44:27,031 --> 00:44:29,200 How the hell did that come out of you? 1007 00:44:31,235 --> 00:44:32,603 I was ten pounds, too. 1008 00:44:32,670 --> 00:44:34,805 -Oh, wow. -Yeah. 1009 00:44:34,872 --> 00:44:36,107 Ten pounds, two ounces. 1010 00:44:36,174 --> 00:44:39,043 Oh my goodness. How about one more time for Nia's mom? 1011 00:44:39,110 --> 00:44:41,179 Adorable. Look at this sweet lady. 1012 00:44:41,245 --> 00:44:42,413 [crowd cheering] 1013 00:44:44,649 --> 00:44:47,351 Pussy probably looks like this bucket after Nia came out of it. 1014 00:44:47,418 --> 00:44:49,687 Just a hollow, giant… 1015 00:44:49,754 --> 00:44:51,522 [chuckling] Yeah, there's probably… 1016 00:44:51,589 --> 00:44:53,291 That's how big your pussy is, too. 1017 00:44:53,791 --> 00:44:56,394 -[crowd] Oh! -Oh! [laughs] 1018 00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:58,396 Don't go roasting my mom, Tony. 1019 00:44:58,462 --> 00:44:59,597 [Tony] Oh, no, no. 1020 00:44:59,664 --> 00:45:01,933 I possibly can't. I'm sure her pussy is tight. 1021 00:45:01,999 --> 00:45:05,269 Tighter than Uncle Lazer at the end of a cab ride. 1022 00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:07,138 [crowd laughing] 1023 00:45:10,007 --> 00:45:11,409 Amazing. 1024 00:45:11,475 --> 00:45:13,611 Nia, you're so funny. 1025 00:45:13,678 --> 00:45:15,112 It's actually incredible. 1026 00:45:15,179 --> 00:45:16,881 You're very well prepared. 1027 00:45:16,948 --> 00:45:20,151 You absolutely just-- your timing, your execution. 1028 00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:23,554 This is two years in a row where I'm very impressed by you. 1029 00:45:23,621 --> 00:45:26,057 A lot of people I think would assume that someone 1030 00:45:26,123 --> 00:45:29,193 with your like physicality is like all show 1031 00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:31,896 and probably not great on the mic, but you are, 1032 00:45:31,963 --> 00:45:33,464 you are really awesome. 1033 00:45:33,531 --> 00:45:34,565 Absolutely incredible. 1034 00:45:34,632 --> 00:45:35,800 -Jeff. -[crowd cheering] 1035 00:45:35,866 --> 00:45:37,568 What do you think about Nia Jax, huh? 1036 00:45:37,635 --> 00:45:39,837 Nia, amazing, amazing. 1037 00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:42,340 I wanna Jax to you in my dreams tonight. 1038 00:45:42,406 --> 00:45:44,642 Oh my God, thank you. 1039 00:45:44,709 --> 00:45:47,078 You're like J-Lo, you're like PB and J-Lo. 1040 00:45:47,144 --> 00:45:50,481 -[crowd laughing] -That's a compliment. 1041 00:45:50,548 --> 00:45:53,084 -[Tony] It is. -[Jeff] Even your mom's kinda hot. 1042 00:45:53,651 --> 00:45:54,652 That's true. 1043 00:45:55,152 --> 00:45:57,321 -[smooches] -[cat growling] 1044 00:45:57,388 --> 00:45:58,856 I wanna wrestle your mom. 1045 00:45:59,390 --> 00:46:01,826 [crowd laughing] 1046 00:46:01,892 --> 00:46:04,128 Tony, give me 60 seconds with the mom. 1047 00:46:04,195 --> 00:46:06,897 -[laughs] -[Nia] Hell yeah, mom. 1048 00:46:06,964 --> 00:46:09,033 Hell yeah. Hell yeah. 1049 00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:10,501 What a fun family. 1050 00:46:10,568 --> 00:46:13,371 Thank you for coming out here and doing stand-up. 1051 00:46:13,437 --> 00:46:15,172 -That was fun. -Thank you so much. 1052 00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:16,374 [Tony] Nia, you're awesome. 1053 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,443 All those jokes, I gotta ask, like, do you have a boyfriend? 1054 00:46:19,510 --> 00:46:22,580 Like, what type of man can satisfy a woman like you? 1055 00:46:23,247 --> 00:46:24,181 Gosh, Tony. 1056 00:46:24,248 --> 00:46:26,384 -[Tony laughs] -Geez. 1057 00:46:26,450 --> 00:46:28,319 No, I don't have a boyfriend, okay? 1058 00:46:28,386 --> 00:46:29,253 Thanks. 1059 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:30,855 Yes, I'm single. Thanks, guys. 1060 00:46:30,921 --> 00:46:32,990 I'd love to have you on The Secret Show. 1061 00:46:33,057 --> 00:46:34,692 [laughs] Redban. 1062 00:46:35,359 --> 00:46:37,695 What's your type? Just out of curiosity. 1063 00:46:37,762 --> 00:46:38,896 I can't help but ask. 1064 00:46:38,963 --> 00:46:42,266 Like, pick a musician out of this panel. 1065 00:46:42,333 --> 00:46:43,901 We have a blind saxophonist. 1066 00:46:43,968 --> 00:46:45,403 We have a tiny drummer. 1067 00:46:47,505 --> 00:46:49,707 I feel like he could live under my skirt. 1068 00:46:49,774 --> 00:46:51,676 [Tony chuckling] Yeah. Yeah. 1069 00:46:51,742 --> 00:46:54,045 -[Jeff] And with that hat. -[Tony laughs] Yeah. 1070 00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:57,615 [Tony] I think it's going to have to be a tag team, Tony. 1071 00:46:57,682 --> 00:46:59,717 -Oh my god! -[crowd laughing] 1072 00:47:00,384 --> 00:47:02,219 I do love a good tag team. 1073 00:47:02,286 --> 00:47:03,654 Title, championship. 1074 00:47:03,721 --> 00:47:05,523 -[Tony] That's right. Yeah. -I'm in a tag team. 1075 00:47:05,589 --> 00:47:07,391 -I wrestle. -You were in it tonight. 1076 00:47:07,458 --> 00:47:08,426 Absolutely awesome. 1077 00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:09,960 Great performance here, Nia. 1078 00:47:10,027 --> 00:47:12,863 You're awesome. One more time for Nia Jax, everybody. 1079 00:47:12,930 --> 00:47:15,566 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1080 00:47:16,267 --> 00:47:17,435 [Tony] So, so cool. 1081 00:47:21,439 --> 00:47:22,707 Hell yeah. 1082 00:47:22,773 --> 00:47:25,443 One more time for the great Nia Jax, everybody. 1083 00:47:25,509 --> 00:47:27,311 Nia, thank you. I love you. 1084 00:47:27,378 --> 00:47:29,280 -There she goes. -That was fun. 1085 00:47:29,347 --> 00:47:30,247 Hell yeah. 1086 00:47:30,314 --> 00:47:33,718 It's fun seeing the wrestlers out of their comfort zone like this. 1087 00:47:33,784 --> 00:47:35,586 [Tony] Yeah. All right, ladies and gentlemen, 1088 00:47:35,653 --> 00:47:37,955 your next comedian is a Golden Ticket winner 1089 00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:40,358 on Kill Tony, who won his Golden Ticket 1090 00:47:40,424 --> 00:47:42,793 at the age of 21. 1091 00:47:43,327 --> 00:47:46,664 I think he's one of the most promising musical prodigies 1092 00:47:46,731 --> 00:47:49,367 we've ever seen in the history of Kill Tony. 1093 00:47:49,433 --> 00:47:52,269 He wrote something specifically for this event, 1094 00:47:52,937 --> 00:47:54,238 specifically for you. 1095 00:47:54,739 --> 00:47:57,575 Make some noise for Tony Scar, everyone. 1096 00:47:57,641 --> 00:47:58,609 Here he comes. 1097 00:47:59,176 --> 00:48:01,379 -This is the future. -[crowd cheering] 1098 00:48:01,445 --> 00:48:03,381 [Tony] Twenty-one-year-old Tony Scar. 1099 00:48:03,447 --> 00:48:05,549 [upbeat rock music playing] 1100 00:48:06,150 --> 00:48:08,719 [Tony] Come on, people, make some noise for Tony. 1101 00:48:08,786 --> 00:48:11,555 -[music concludes] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 1102 00:48:16,994 --> 00:48:19,697 Nia Jax is single, holy shit, dude. 1103 00:48:19,764 --> 00:48:22,566 {\an8}That's the kind of woman that'll turn me into a lesbian. 1104 00:48:24,869 --> 00:48:27,004 {\an8}Give me fifteen minutes, I'll come back with makeup on, 1105 00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:29,507 looking like Rhea Ripley with Down syndrome, dude. 1106 00:48:29,573 --> 00:48:30,574 It's gonna be great. 1107 00:48:30,641 --> 00:48:32,009 [crowd laughing] 1108 00:48:33,010 --> 00:48:34,945 I got one question for you, Vegas. 1109 00:48:35,012 --> 00:48:36,213 Just one question. 1110 00:48:37,281 --> 00:48:38,749 Are we ready to fucking rock? 1111 00:48:38,816 --> 00:48:40,885 [crowd cheering] 1112 00:48:41,552 --> 00:48:45,156 Las Vegas, Nevada, are we ready to fucking rock? 1113 00:48:45,222 --> 00:48:48,259 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1114 00:48:49,693 --> 00:48:54,064 [upbeat guitar music playing] 1115 00:48:58,135 --> 00:49:01,939 ♪ Ever since I was a kid I loved the WWE ♪ 1116 00:49:02,706 --> 00:49:06,544 ♪ But we were poor And couldn't afford cable TV ♪ 1117 00:49:07,178 --> 00:49:09,046 ♪ I didn't want to miss out ♪ 1118 00:49:09,113 --> 00:49:15,686 ♪ So instead I went to see Our local bootleg trailer park wrestling ♪ 1119 00:49:18,656 --> 00:49:22,460 ♪ We had a luchador with an extra eye And we called him eye-yi-yi ♪ 1120 00:49:23,060 --> 00:49:26,363 ♪ And he was gay, so the only way He'd take it is from behind ♪ 1121 00:49:26,430 --> 00:49:28,933 ♪ There was a wrestler in a wheelchair ♪ 1122 00:49:28,999 --> 00:49:30,835 ♪ I was shocked when he turned heel ♪ 1123 00:49:31,569 --> 00:49:33,571 ♪ He couldn't throw kicks But I must admit ♪ 1124 00:49:33,637 --> 00:49:35,739 ♪ He threw a crazy left wheel ♪ 1125 00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:44,014 ♪ They had a Rock impersonator And I was a huge fan ♪ 1126 00:49:44,515 --> 00:49:46,584 ♪ But he didn't have arms So his People's Elbow ♪ 1127 00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:48,352 ♪ Was just a floppy hand ♪ 1128 00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:52,990 ♪ He parked his RV right outside Windows taped, no looking ♪ 1129 00:49:53,591 --> 00:49:55,926 ♪ But it's hard to hide The smell of meth ♪ 1130 00:49:55,993 --> 00:49:58,262 ♪ So you could smell What The Rock was cooking ♪ 1131 00:50:02,867 --> 00:50:05,102 ♪ We had Cold Stone Steve Austin ♪ 1132 00:50:05,169 --> 00:50:06,871 ♪ He ate way too much ice cream ♪ 1133 00:50:07,271 --> 00:50:09,306 ♪ But he was lactose intolerant ♪ 1134 00:50:09,373 --> 00:50:11,108 ♪ So he left streaks in his jeans ♪ 1135 00:50:11,175 --> 00:50:15,613 ♪ He fought our rip-off Bella Twins And they really messed him up ♪ 1136 00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:18,482 ♪ They finished him with a nut kick ♪ 1137 00:50:19,116 --> 00:50:20,584 ♪ Two girls, one cup ♪ 1138 00:50:20,985 --> 00:50:23,120 [crowd laughing] 1139 00:50:25,756 --> 00:50:30,528 ♪ What can you expect From trailer park wrestling ♪ 1140 00:50:31,495 --> 00:50:34,231 ♪ Nothing quite compares to the WWE ♪ 1141 00:50:40,571 --> 00:50:44,108 ♪ We had our own Triple H But he had three types of HPV ♪ 1142 00:50:44,775 --> 00:50:48,245 ♪ We also had Triple F He had three different felonies ♪ 1143 00:50:48,946 --> 00:50:52,750 ♪ We had about every letter You guys can take your pick ♪ 1144 00:50:53,384 --> 00:50:55,986 ♪ There was a hooded man Named Triple K ♪ 1145 00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:57,688 ♪ And he got canceled quick ♪ 1146 00:50:57,788 --> 00:50:59,957 [crowd laughing] 1147 00:51:02,493 --> 00:51:05,863 ♪ A fat lady was undefeated She just couldn't be pinned ♪ 1148 00:51:05,930 --> 00:51:10,067 ♪ So someone threw a sugar cube And she ran after it ♪ 1149 00:51:10,501 --> 00:51:12,903 ♪ There was a wrestler Who had two wooden arms ♪ 1150 00:51:13,370 --> 00:51:15,239 ♪ And two wooden legs ♪ 1151 00:51:15,306 --> 00:51:16,740 ♪ He was a dog in the ring ♪ 1152 00:51:16,807 --> 00:51:20,110 ♪ And by that I mean All he did was sit and stay ♪ 1153 00:51:24,515 --> 00:51:28,352 ♪ There was a blind John Cena He'd never see stunts through ♪ 1154 00:51:28,485 --> 00:51:31,155 ♪ He'd wave his hand In front of his face and say ♪ 1155 00:51:31,221 --> 00:51:32,990 ♪ I can't see you ♪ 1156 00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:39,630 ♪ He had a killer headlock Choked a dude till he slept ♪ 1157 00:51:40,230 --> 00:51:44,268 ♪ But lost the match to a forfeit Because he choked out the ref ♪ 1158 00:51:49,540 --> 00:51:54,445 ♪ What can you expect From trailer park wrestling ♪ 1159 00:51:55,045 --> 00:52:01,051 ♪ Nothing quite compares to the WWE ♪ 1160 00:52:01,585 --> 00:52:03,954 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1161 00:52:04,788 --> 00:52:05,789 Thank you very much. 1162 00:52:06,590 --> 00:52:08,726 Wow. God damn. 1163 00:52:09,793 --> 00:52:11,195 That is so awesome. 1164 00:52:11,261 --> 00:52:12,529 [Scar] Hell yeah. 1165 00:52:12,596 --> 00:52:14,665 You wrote that specifically for this. 1166 00:52:14,732 --> 00:52:15,733 Yeah. 1167 00:52:15,799 --> 00:52:17,635 -Put a lot of work into it. -It was great. 1168 00:52:17,701 --> 00:52:19,403 Can't really rep it out anywhere, you know what I mean? 1169 00:52:19,470 --> 00:52:20,337 [Tony] Yeah. 1170 00:52:20,404 --> 00:52:22,806 But it was fantastic, man. Nowhere I'd rather be. 1171 00:52:23,507 --> 00:52:24,808 That's awesome. 1172 00:52:24,875 --> 00:52:26,276 The whole thing's kind of great 1173 00:52:26,343 --> 00:52:28,712 because it's like the two best fan bases collide. 1174 00:52:28,779 --> 00:52:29,647 You know what I mean? 1175 00:52:29,713 --> 00:52:31,882 Because wrestling fans go nuts and comedy fans go nuts. 1176 00:52:31,949 --> 00:52:33,717 So when you put them together, this fucking crowd, I mean, 1177 00:52:33,784 --> 00:52:35,753 -it's just great. -Yeah. These are the best. 1178 00:52:35,819 --> 00:52:38,522 We're having more fun than anybody else in Vegas tonight. 1179 00:52:38,589 --> 00:52:39,590 I promise you that. 1180 00:52:41,425 --> 00:52:43,293 Tony, you're an anomaly, man. 1181 00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:45,562 You're out there working every night, 1182 00:52:45,629 --> 00:52:48,932 hustling around Austin, doing as many spots as possible. 1183 00:52:48,999 --> 00:52:49,933 Jeff, what do you think? 1184 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:53,871 You've got a lot of music in your amazing special, 1185 00:52:53,937 --> 00:52:55,539 Take a Banana for the Ride. 1186 00:52:55,606 --> 00:52:58,308 You must admit, Tony, freak talent, right? 1187 00:52:58,375 --> 00:53:00,911 I love people who can write their own music, 1188 00:53:00,978 --> 00:53:02,212 and you have a beautiful voice. 1189 00:53:02,279 --> 00:53:04,181 And I heard you rehearsing today, 1190 00:53:04,248 --> 00:53:06,183 and I see how seriously you take it. 1191 00:53:06,984 --> 00:53:09,186 -[Scar] Are you flirting with me? -No. 1192 00:53:10,087 --> 00:53:11,422 No. 1193 00:53:11,488 --> 00:53:12,556 But I don't know. 1194 00:53:12,623 --> 00:53:15,859 You're like Justin Bieber missing a chromosome or something. 1195 00:53:15,926 --> 00:53:17,628 Thank you. Yeah, that's great. 1196 00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:22,866 You do. You look like a cross of Justin Bieber 1197 00:53:22,933 --> 00:53:24,001 and the Bucky Beaver. 1198 00:53:25,502 --> 00:53:27,371 Right. These teeth can chew, Tony. 1199 00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:30,441 I bet. 1200 00:53:31,909 --> 00:53:34,178 Well, Tony, amazing stuff. 1201 00:53:35,145 --> 00:53:36,914 You look like you're about to pull a Jeff Jarrett 1202 00:53:36,980 --> 00:53:38,449 with that guitar, so we're going to get you out 1203 00:53:38,515 --> 00:53:40,684 of here before you break that over somebody. 1204 00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:43,554 Make some noise for Tony Scar, everybody. 1205 00:53:43,620 --> 00:53:44,488 There he goes. 1206 00:53:44,555 --> 00:53:47,091 -Thank you very much, Vegas! -[crowd cheering] 1207 00:53:47,157 --> 00:53:48,158 Hell yeah. 1208 00:53:50,594 --> 00:53:51,695 [Tony] Oh, yeah. 1209 00:53:51,762 --> 00:53:53,063 Tony Scar, everybody. 1210 00:53:55,232 --> 00:53:56,400 Here we go. 1211 00:53:56,467 --> 00:53:57,868 Back to the bucket. 1212 00:53:57,935 --> 00:53:59,203 Make some noise, everybody, 1213 00:53:59,269 --> 00:54:01,505 for Chris Waldeck, everyone. 1214 00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:02,573 Chris Waldeck. 1215 00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:06,510 -Here, live, in Las Vegas. -[upbeat jazzy music playing] 1216 00:54:08,545 --> 00:54:09,713 [Tony] Here we go. 1217 00:54:10,714 --> 00:54:13,717 -[music concludes] -[crowd cheering] 1218 00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,188 Hello, ladies and gentlemen. 1219 00:54:20,524 --> 00:54:21,792 My name is Chris Waldeck. 1220 00:54:22,426 --> 00:54:24,595 I'm 34 years old and I'm autistic. 1221 00:54:25,195 --> 00:54:27,498 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1222 00:54:28,932 --> 00:54:31,001 I appreciate the applause, but don't clap too loud. 1223 00:54:31,068 --> 00:54:32,169 You see I'm a little bit different. 1224 00:54:32,236 --> 00:54:33,937 I'm on what's called the lower end of the spectrum 1225 00:54:34,004 --> 00:54:37,441 because I thought I wasn't autistic until I turned 28 years old. 1226 00:54:39,042 --> 00:54:39,943 And you're all chuckling 1227 00:54:40,010 --> 00:54:42,746 'cause you all figured it out as soon as I walked on stage. 1228 00:54:42,813 --> 00:54:44,648 [crowd laughing] 1229 00:54:45,182 --> 00:54:48,318 That's how I know I'm on the low end of the spectrum. 1230 00:54:48,385 --> 00:54:49,720 In fact, I'm so low on the spectrum, 1231 00:54:49,787 --> 00:54:51,955 if you guys had clapped any louder when I said I was autistic, 1232 00:54:52,022 --> 00:54:54,458 I would have had to stop the set and start counting. 1233 00:54:54,525 --> 00:54:56,460 [crowd laughing] 1234 00:54:57,494 --> 00:55:00,531 You know what age most kids find out they're autistic? 1235 00:55:00,597 --> 00:55:01,665 Two. 1236 00:55:01,732 --> 00:55:03,901 And I didn't find out until I turned 28. 1237 00:55:04,968 --> 00:55:07,237 You know, what the fuck were my parents doing? 1238 00:55:08,839 --> 00:55:12,309 Like, I may be autistic, but I just found out my parents are retarded. 1239 00:55:12,376 --> 00:55:14,311 [crowd laughing] 1240 00:55:15,245 --> 00:55:16,647 [cat meows] 1241 00:55:16,713 --> 00:55:18,048 My dad's name is Gerald. 1242 00:55:18,715 --> 00:55:20,717 So they say I'm one of Jerry's Kids. 1243 00:55:23,020 --> 00:55:25,155 And my mom's name is Tina, she's an accountant. 1244 00:55:25,222 --> 00:55:26,757 But she's not a good one, though. 1245 00:55:26,824 --> 00:55:30,093 She can count everything except for the correct amount of Tylenol. 1246 00:55:31,228 --> 00:55:32,462 Thank you, everybody. 1247 00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:33,497 Yes. 1248 00:55:34,064 --> 00:55:35,265 Chris Waldeck. 1249 00:55:35,933 --> 00:55:36,934 Hell yeah. 1250 00:55:37,968 --> 00:55:40,437 As everyone knows, you're my type of fucking guy. 1251 00:55:41,705 --> 00:55:43,106 Thank you. 1252 00:55:43,173 --> 00:55:44,074 I appreciate that. 1253 00:55:45,242 --> 00:55:46,176 Boom. 1254 00:55:46,243 --> 00:55:47,177 Wow. 1255 00:55:47,244 --> 00:55:48,345 Yes. 1256 00:55:48,412 --> 00:55:49,279 Look at that chain. 1257 00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:50,547 Absolutely incredible. 1258 00:55:50,614 --> 00:55:52,583 You are balling out of control. 1259 00:55:52,649 --> 00:55:53,650 Fly as fuck, baby. 1260 00:55:53,717 --> 00:55:55,719 I'm fly as fuck. 1261 00:55:55,786 --> 00:55:58,522 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1262 00:56:00,591 --> 00:56:02,092 I'm just dressed this fly 'cause they said 1263 00:56:02,159 --> 00:56:03,961 I couldn't wear my helmet on stage. 1264 00:56:04,027 --> 00:56:06,129 -[crowd laughing] -[Tony laughs] 1265 00:56:07,764 --> 00:56:09,032 I love it, Chris. 1266 00:56:09,099 --> 00:56:10,100 I love it. 1267 00:56:10,167 --> 00:56:11,368 -Boom. -Boom. 1268 00:56:11,435 --> 00:56:13,003 Hell yeah. You have a catchphrase. 1269 00:56:13,070 --> 00:56:14,872 -Boom. -You have a catchphrase. 1270 00:56:14,938 --> 00:56:16,740 Dude, I fucking love your whole vibe, bro. 1271 00:56:16,807 --> 00:56:19,610 I'm fucking into the hand shit and the fucking movement. 1272 00:56:20,477 --> 00:56:22,112 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1273 00:56:22,179 --> 00:56:23,113 Thank you, man. 1274 00:56:23,180 --> 00:56:25,649 [Jeff] We got to fucking go dancing tonight, baby. 1275 00:56:27,351 --> 00:56:29,219 I wish I had my coordination skills. 1276 00:56:31,622 --> 00:56:33,924 Honestly, this helps me when I'm on stage because you see, 1277 00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:35,158 if one of my jokes doesn't land, 1278 00:56:35,225 --> 00:56:37,160 I always got one hand clapping for me. 1279 00:56:37,895 --> 00:56:39,696 [crowd laughing] 1280 00:56:40,464 --> 00:56:42,833 I can't talk to women, though, because, well… 1281 00:56:44,635 --> 00:56:47,204 [crowd laughing] 1282 00:56:48,071 --> 00:56:49,907 Yeah, no, we get it. We get it. 1283 00:56:49,973 --> 00:56:51,341 [Tony laughs] 1284 00:56:52,175 --> 00:56:53,310 Boom. 1285 00:56:53,377 --> 00:56:56,413 [Tony] Chris Waldeck, how long have you been doing stand-up comedy? 1286 00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:57,681 Eight years. 1287 00:56:57,748 --> 00:56:59,583 [Tony] Eight years. I love it. Where at? 1288 00:56:59,650 --> 00:57:00,884 All here in Vegas? 1289 00:57:00,951 --> 00:57:02,619 Yep, all here in Vegas. 1290 00:57:02,686 --> 00:57:04,521 Is this where you were born and raised? 1291 00:57:04,588 --> 00:57:06,857 Oh, no, I'm from Florida originally. 1292 00:57:06,924 --> 00:57:08,992 [Tony] What made you move to Vegas? 1293 00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:12,963 I had a different job at the time, and then when that job ended, 1294 00:57:13,030 --> 00:57:15,532 I just started doing Lyft and Uber, and then pandemic hit, 1295 00:57:15,599 --> 00:57:18,168 became a warehouse worker, Lyft and Uber. 1296 00:57:18,235 --> 00:57:20,304 It's kind of depressing because I have two master's degrees, 1297 00:57:20,370 --> 00:57:22,339 so that's how I know I'm a really bad autistic guy. 1298 00:57:22,406 --> 00:57:23,707 -[laughs] -[Tony laughs] 1299 00:57:27,010 --> 00:57:27,945 Go ahead, Jeff. 1300 00:57:28,011 --> 00:57:29,947 I just love how you laugh with your hands. 1301 00:57:30,013 --> 00:57:31,949 -It's amazing. -Yeah. 1302 00:57:32,015 --> 00:57:34,318 You're-- You're like-- You're unique. 1303 00:57:34,384 --> 00:57:36,353 Great comedians are one of a kind. 1304 00:57:37,187 --> 00:57:38,322 Oh, thank you. 1305 00:57:38,388 --> 00:57:39,589 It's too bad-- I go to Subway. 1306 00:57:39,656 --> 00:57:41,725 They keep putting me too many damn olives. 1307 00:57:42,326 --> 00:57:43,694 [Jeff] You look like Jared. 1308 00:57:45,228 --> 00:57:46,096 There is… 1309 00:57:46,830 --> 00:57:48,765 There is a lot of Jared in you. 1310 00:57:48,832 --> 00:57:50,033 Oh, yeah. 1311 00:57:50,100 --> 00:57:51,802 Looking a little creepy is good, though, in Vegas. 1312 00:57:51,868 --> 00:57:53,570 Makes me the perfect Uber driver. 1313 00:57:54,638 --> 00:57:55,639 [Redban] No. 1314 00:57:57,808 --> 00:57:59,776 Well, at least the one that Uncle Lazer will tip, 1315 00:57:59,843 --> 00:58:00,811 you know what I'm saying? 1316 00:58:00,877 --> 00:58:02,312 [Tony] Yeah! 1317 00:58:03,547 --> 00:58:04,548 [Jeff] Wow. 1318 00:58:05,549 --> 00:58:07,050 I can understand why he doesn't tip, though, 1319 00:58:07,117 --> 00:58:09,052 because he's probably used to the only tips he gets 1320 00:58:09,119 --> 00:58:11,121 with all those tattoos is in jail, so… 1321 00:58:11,188 --> 00:58:12,356 [Tony laughs] 1322 00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:14,658 Hell yeah. 1323 00:58:14,725 --> 00:58:15,926 [crowd laughing] 1324 00:58:15,993 --> 00:58:17,794 -Boom. -Boom. 1325 00:58:17,861 --> 00:58:19,463 Boom, motherfuckers. 1326 00:58:19,529 --> 00:58:21,765 [Tony] Oh, you got the crowd doing the boom with you now. 1327 00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:22,699 You look out. 1328 00:58:22,766 --> 00:58:25,369 You got this pro wrestling crowd doing the boom. 1329 00:58:25,435 --> 00:58:27,270 [Chris] I love WWE, man. 1330 00:58:27,337 --> 00:58:28,705 I love WWE. 1331 00:58:28,772 --> 00:58:31,408 [Tony] Tell me about your history with the WWE. 1332 00:58:31,475 --> 00:58:33,710 Oh, man, growing up, that used to be, like, my part-time. 1333 00:58:33,777 --> 00:58:35,078 Whenever I'd come back from school, 1334 00:58:35,145 --> 00:58:36,613 I just used to watch wrestling all the time. 1335 00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:38,348 My favorite match is still to this day 1336 00:58:38,415 --> 00:58:40,417 both your matches with Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania. 1337 00:58:40,484 --> 00:58:41,351 I saw both of them. 1338 00:58:41,418 --> 00:58:43,987 -I completely agree. -[Chris] My favorite ones by far. 1339 00:58:44,054 --> 00:58:45,622 Completely agree. 1340 00:58:45,689 --> 00:58:48,225 When Shawn Michaels did that damn moonsault 1341 00:58:48,291 --> 00:58:52,329 off the top and gets caught into a Tombstone, epic. 1342 00:58:52,396 --> 00:58:54,398 It doesn't get any better than that. 1343 00:58:54,464 --> 00:58:57,100 -[Chris] Fucking amazing. Beautiful. -Absolutely. 1344 00:58:57,167 --> 00:59:00,003 When it comes to pro wrestling, I am also autistic. 1345 00:59:00,070 --> 00:59:02,139 [crowd laughing] 1346 00:59:02,839 --> 00:59:03,774 Boom. 1347 00:59:04,841 --> 00:59:06,009 [laughs] 1348 00:59:06,576 --> 00:59:07,811 -Chris. -[Chris] Boom. 1349 00:59:08,412 --> 00:59:11,214 [Tony] Chris, I gotta know, what are your two masters in? 1350 00:59:11,815 --> 00:59:15,285 Ironically, communications and English, neither of which I'm good at. 1351 00:59:15,352 --> 00:59:17,454 -[laughs] -[crowd laughing] 1352 00:59:21,091 --> 00:59:22,259 You are awesome. 1353 00:59:25,128 --> 00:59:26,229 [Chris] Boom. 1354 00:59:26,863 --> 00:59:27,931 Boom. 1355 00:59:27,998 --> 00:59:29,699 Boom, motherfuckers. 1356 00:59:30,967 --> 00:59:32,302 You are built for this. 1357 00:59:32,369 --> 00:59:34,504 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1358 00:59:35,172 --> 00:59:37,307 [Tony] You are built for this, Chris. 1359 00:59:37,374 --> 00:59:38,308 [Chris] Oh, thank you so much. 1360 00:59:38,375 --> 00:59:39,376 I appreciate that. 1361 00:59:40,577 --> 00:59:43,313 [crowd chanting "Boom"] 1362 00:59:43,914 --> 00:59:45,682 [Redban] They're doing boom chants. 1363 00:59:47,150 --> 00:59:48,518 [Tony] Oh my God. 1364 00:59:49,119 --> 00:59:50,821 -This… -[Chris] Boom. 1365 00:59:52,155 --> 00:59:53,190 [Tony] This is incredible. 1366 00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:57,360 Tell us more about your, uh, about your autistic side. 1367 00:59:58,095 --> 00:59:59,296 Uh, my autistic side? 1368 00:59:59,362 --> 01:00:02,132 Well, a lot of it is that I know a lot about movies. 1369 01:00:02,199 --> 01:00:04,835 Like, I can, like, recite a lot of different random knowledge. 1370 01:00:04,901 --> 01:00:06,103 My friends always, like, tease me about it. 1371 01:00:06,169 --> 01:00:08,105 They always ask me, like, damn random movie facts. 1372 01:00:08,171 --> 01:00:09,973 I'm just like, I'm like the ChatGPT 1373 01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:11,641 nobody asked for when it comes to movies. 1374 01:00:11,708 --> 01:00:12,843 Like, they'll just name a movie, 1375 01:00:12,909 --> 01:00:14,444 and I'll just start reciting, like, 1376 01:00:14,511 --> 01:00:15,512 credits and stuff about it. 1377 01:00:15,579 --> 01:00:18,515 Like, I used to walk through, like, like, like, 1378 01:00:18,582 --> 01:00:19,683 video stores all the time. 1379 01:00:19,749 --> 01:00:21,585 I used to just, like, you know, just read the credits. 1380 01:00:21,651 --> 01:00:23,320 I used to just, like, watch a lot of movies. 1381 01:00:23,386 --> 01:00:24,521 Yeah, I'm nerdy as fuck. 1382 01:00:24,588 --> 01:00:25,455 I apologize. 1383 01:00:25,522 --> 01:00:28,291 Is it mostly older movies or just pretty much any movie? 1384 01:00:28,825 --> 01:00:30,827 Older and newer movies and stuff. 1385 01:00:30,894 --> 01:00:33,063 Like, you know, like, I used to watch, like, you know, 1386 01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:34,331 just both of them all the time. 1387 01:00:34,397 --> 01:00:36,700 I used to study film, study cinematography. 1388 01:00:36,766 --> 01:00:38,802 I'm trying to learn AI right now because I want to use it 1389 01:00:38,869 --> 01:00:41,037 to design my own films, like, you know, 1390 01:00:41,104 --> 01:00:43,039 through the scripting and stuff and, like, script writing. 1391 01:00:43,106 --> 01:00:46,209 So, like, you know, I feel at this point pretty much, 1392 01:00:46,276 --> 01:00:48,178 like, that's where the industry's going, 1393 01:00:48,245 --> 01:00:49,646 so, you know, behind it. 1394 01:00:49,713 --> 01:00:51,515 No, I think you're ahead of the curve here. 1395 01:00:51,581 --> 01:00:52,549 You're exactly right. 1396 01:00:52,616 --> 01:00:55,519 I wish my teacher said the same thing. 1397 01:00:55,585 --> 01:00:57,521 I really wish they did. 1398 01:00:59,422 --> 01:01:03,026 Just out of my own curiosity, like, let's drop a movie. 1399 01:01:03,093 --> 01:01:04,361 Let's drop a, like a… 1400 01:01:04,427 --> 01:01:06,296 [crowd shouting] 1401 01:01:06,930 --> 01:01:07,898 Huh? 1402 01:01:09,599 --> 01:01:10,767 Behind the Green Door. 1403 01:01:12,202 --> 01:01:14,571 He said Devil's Rejects with Rob Zombie? 1404 01:01:14,638 --> 01:01:16,206 [Tony] Yeah. Let's do that one. 1405 01:01:16,273 --> 01:01:17,374 Oh, that's amazing. 1406 01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:19,509 The Devil's Rejects with Rob Zombie featuring Sid Haig. 1407 01:01:19,576 --> 01:01:20,443 It's a Western take. 1408 01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:22,445 It's an influence from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 1409 01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:25,115 Before he made that, he made House of a Thousand Corpses 1410 01:01:25,182 --> 01:01:27,751 in which it featured Rainn Wilson, one of his earlier debuts, 1411 01:01:27,817 --> 01:01:29,619 as well as Chris Hardwick in it. 1412 01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:31,354 And that film is like the prequel to it. 1413 01:01:31,421 --> 01:01:32,822 And then The Devil's Rejects, 1414 01:01:32,889 --> 01:01:36,159 what comes with it is it was the influence 1415 01:01:36,226 --> 01:01:37,494 of the doctor, the evil doctor. 1416 01:01:37,561 --> 01:01:38,428 Oh yeah. 1417 01:01:38,495 --> 01:01:40,297 -Boom, boom. -Boom! 1418 01:01:40,363 --> 01:01:41,231 Yeah, baby. 1419 01:01:41,298 --> 01:01:43,066 They're one-hand clapping for me. 1420 01:01:43,133 --> 01:01:44,935 [Jeff] They're saying boom! 1421 01:01:45,001 --> 01:01:47,537 And then they made a third one that came right after, 1422 01:01:47,604 --> 01:01:50,073 Three From Hell, and that one replaced Richard Brake, 1423 01:01:50,140 --> 01:01:52,175 who was in Rob Zombie's 31, 1424 01:01:52,242 --> 01:01:53,944 where he had his breakout performance. 1425 01:01:54,010 --> 01:01:56,613 They used him to replace Sid Haig because Sid Haig was dying 1426 01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:59,216 from cancer when Rob Zombie went and saw him. 1427 01:01:59,282 --> 01:02:01,952 And speaking of cancer, I actually just got cancer removed from my back, 1428 01:02:02,018 --> 01:02:04,187 so I'm doing pretty damn good right now. 1429 01:02:04,254 --> 01:02:07,090 -[crowd cheering, applauding] -[Tony] Wow. 1430 01:02:09,326 --> 01:02:10,560 [Tony] Wow. 1431 01:02:11,428 --> 01:02:12,929 You are something else. 1432 01:02:12,996 --> 01:02:14,798 -Boom. -Yeah, man. 1433 01:02:14,864 --> 01:02:16,533 The last two years, man, have been, like, 1434 01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:17,634 the roughest years of my life, 1435 01:02:17,701 --> 01:02:19,769 but I'm just excited that I got over them. 1436 01:02:19,836 --> 01:02:21,838 Like, I got hit by two cars, 1437 01:02:21,905 --> 01:02:23,974 and then I got cancer diagnosed, and I… 1438 01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:26,176 Despite getting hit by a car the first time, 1439 01:02:26,243 --> 01:02:28,078 I actually made it to a comedy competition, like, 1440 01:02:28,144 --> 01:02:30,113 right after I went in, made it to the quarterfinals 1441 01:02:30,180 --> 01:02:31,715 for the World Series of Comedy. 1442 01:02:31,781 --> 01:02:34,985 And then, after I got my settlement, passed my physical therapy, 1443 01:02:35,051 --> 01:02:36,486 I was the victim of a hit-and-run, 1444 01:02:36,553 --> 01:02:38,021 So I didn't get a settlement. 1445 01:02:38,088 --> 01:02:39,756 And then I got diagnosed with cancer right after it. 1446 01:02:39,823 --> 01:02:42,659 And I'm just happy they cut it out. 1447 01:02:42,726 --> 01:02:45,295 So, you know, luckily the warehouse I work at has amazing insurance. 1448 01:02:45,362 --> 01:02:47,731 So I'm fucking blessed as far as I'm concerned. 1449 01:02:47,797 --> 01:02:49,132 Wow. 1450 01:02:49,199 --> 01:02:51,368 [Tony] So you're healed from cancer. 1451 01:02:51,434 --> 01:02:52,435 Sorry. 1452 01:02:52,969 --> 01:02:53,937 That's another autism thing. 1453 01:02:54,004 --> 01:02:55,639 I ramped it way too much. 1454 01:02:55,705 --> 01:02:58,174 By the way, cancer is like number five on the list 1455 01:02:58,241 --> 01:03:00,210 of shit that's weird about you. 1456 01:03:00,277 --> 01:03:01,911 -[Tony laughs] -[crowd laughing] 1457 01:03:01,978 --> 01:03:05,382 I always call myself a living, breathing Bad Luck Brian sometimes. 1458 01:03:05,448 --> 01:03:07,050 -[Jeff] Tony. -[Tony] Yeah. 1459 01:03:07,584 --> 01:03:09,919 -[Jeff] Can I ask you a question? -Yeah, absolutely. 1460 01:03:09,986 --> 01:03:12,055 Are you sure those cars that hit you twice, 1461 01:03:12,122 --> 01:03:13,857 are you sure they weren't cabs 1462 01:03:13,923 --> 01:03:17,527 that they thought you were hailing them cabs? 1463 01:03:17,594 --> 01:03:19,429 [crowd laughing] 1464 01:03:19,496 --> 01:03:21,331 Did you say, sorry, I can't really hear. 1465 01:03:21,398 --> 01:03:23,867 -You said they were cabs or something? -[Jeff] Yeah. 1466 01:03:24,868 --> 01:03:25,869 Did I use it to hail cabs? 1467 01:03:25,935 --> 01:03:29,706 Well, if I did, they'd probably tell me to fuck off 'cause I'm an Uber driver. 1468 01:03:31,441 --> 01:03:33,943 [Tony] When the cars hit you, what noise did it make? 1469 01:03:35,111 --> 01:03:37,314 It was just like a… [laughs] 1470 01:03:37,380 --> 01:03:39,783 -[Tony] I really set you up for that one. -Boom! 1471 01:03:41,017 --> 01:03:43,219 I set you up for that one, buddy. 1472 01:03:43,286 --> 01:03:44,788 [Chris] Damn right you did. 1473 01:03:45,789 --> 01:03:46,990 I'll tell you what, pal. 1474 01:03:47,957 --> 01:03:53,229 I find you very, very funny, and I can't help myself. 1475 01:03:53,296 --> 01:03:57,133 -You guys know I have a soft spot. -[crowd cheering, applauding] 1476 01:03:57,200 --> 01:03:58,902 A very big soft spot 1477 01:03:58,968 --> 01:04:03,206 in my heart for people that use their energies 1478 01:04:03,273 --> 01:04:07,477 and talents and gifts from God in a crazy way. 1479 01:04:08,078 --> 01:04:10,880 Ladies and gentlemen, this is a Golden Ticket, 1480 01:04:11,381 --> 01:04:13,316 and it is going to you, Chris Waldeck. 1481 01:04:13,383 --> 01:04:16,219 Here you go, buddy. Boom. 1482 01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:19,055 -Thank you so much. -Welcome. 1483 01:04:19,789 --> 01:04:22,926 -[crowd cheering] -[celebratory jazzy music playing] 1484 01:04:25,462 --> 01:04:27,163 That's as real as it gets, buddy. 1485 01:04:27,664 --> 01:04:28,865 Holy shit, you're tall. 1486 01:04:28,932 --> 01:04:29,933 [Tony laughs] 1487 01:04:29,999 --> 01:04:32,035 [crowd laughing] 1488 01:04:34,003 --> 01:04:36,473 [Tony] One more time for Chris Waldeck, everybody. 1489 01:04:37,407 --> 01:04:42,078 He got hit with two cars, cancer, and now a golden ticket. 1490 01:04:42,679 --> 01:04:43,680 Boom. 1491 01:04:43,747 --> 01:04:46,249 [crowd chanting "Boom"] 1492 01:04:46,316 --> 01:04:48,017 Chris Waldeck, everybody. 1493 01:04:48,084 --> 01:04:50,353 Tony making dreams come true over here. 1494 01:04:50,420 --> 01:04:51,454 It's amazing. 1495 01:04:51,521 --> 01:04:53,890 This is a full show now tonight, it feels like. 1496 01:04:53,957 --> 01:04:55,125 There's that heart. 1497 01:04:55,191 --> 01:04:57,494 We got a little bit of heart in it. You guys with me? 1498 01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:59,162 -[crowd cheering] -Feels good. 1499 01:04:59,229 --> 01:05:02,465 This place is on fire. It feels good in here tonight. 1500 01:05:02,532 --> 01:05:03,566 -♪ Uso! ♪ Tony. 1501 01:05:03,633 --> 01:05:06,169 -["Main Event Ish" playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 1502 01:05:06,236 --> 01:05:09,606 ♪ Hey, hey, Main Event Jey Uso Is now in your city ♪ 1503 01:05:09,706 --> 01:05:10,673 ♪ Yah-hoo! ♪ 1504 01:05:10,740 --> 01:05:15,412 ♪ It's just me, uce, okay Day one ish, it's just me, uce ♪ 1505 01:05:15,879 --> 01:05:18,848 ♪ Day one ish It's just me, uce, okay ♪ 1506 01:05:18,982 --> 01:05:23,686 ♪ Day one ish, it's Jey, I line 'em all up And knock 'em down like this, I did ♪ 1507 01:05:24,220 --> 01:05:26,022 ♪ Hey, it's on me now, uce ♪ 1508 01:05:27,490 --> 01:05:31,227 ♪ Aye, I'ma get 'em all I'ma get 'em all, uce ♪ 1509 01:05:31,294 --> 01:05:34,164 ♪ Yeah, ha-ha ♪ 1510 01:05:34,864 --> 01:05:38,701 ♪ I'ma get 'em, I'ma get 'em ♪ 1511 01:05:40,437 --> 01:05:44,340 ♪ I'ma get 'em, yeah ♪ 1512 01:05:44,407 --> 01:05:47,076 ♪ Yo, yo, it's on me now, uce It's on me ♪ 1513 01:05:47,277 --> 01:05:50,447 ♪ Aye, aye Main Event Jey Uso is now in your city ♪ 1514 01:05:53,917 --> 01:05:58,488 ♪ It's just me, uce, okay Day one ish, it's just me, uce ♪ 1515 01:05:58,988 --> 01:06:01,925 ♪ Day one ish, it's just me, uce, okay ♪ 1516 01:06:02,091 --> 01:06:07,130 ♪ Day one ish, it's Jey, I line 'em all up And knock 'em down like this, I did ♪ 1517 01:06:13,336 --> 01:06:14,704 [music fades] 1518 01:06:16,206 --> 01:06:20,877 [crowd cheering] 1519 01:06:43,700 --> 01:06:44,868 ♪ Uso! ♪ 1520 01:06:45,134 --> 01:06:46,402 [music resumes] 1521 01:06:47,837 --> 01:06:51,674 ♪ Main Event Jey Uso is now in your city ♪ 1522 01:06:52,475 --> 01:06:57,013 ♪ It's just me, uce, okay Day one ish, it's just me, uce ♪ 1523 01:06:57,547 --> 01:07:00,550 ♪ Day one ish, it's just me, uce, okay ♪ 1524 01:07:00,650 --> 01:07:04,988 ♪ Day one ish, it's Jey, I line 'em all up And knock 'em down like this, I did ♪ 1525 01:07:05,054 --> 01:07:06,089 All right, cut it. 1526 01:07:06,155 --> 01:07:08,825 Cut it, uce. I just broke your mic on accident, uce. 1527 01:07:09,492 --> 01:07:12,896 When I say I really be getting tired doing that shit, I'm so serious. 1528 01:07:15,398 --> 01:07:16,366 Seriously. 1529 01:07:17,333 --> 01:07:19,536 I'm nervous. I'm real nervous, though. 1530 01:07:20,403 --> 01:07:23,072 I didn't know it was going to be like this, uce. 1531 01:07:27,744 --> 01:07:29,445 All I got is a minute, uce. 1532 01:07:30,313 --> 01:07:31,314 Sit down. 1533 01:07:32,982 --> 01:07:35,752 I wanted Tony to do my entrance with me earlier, man. 1534 01:07:35,818 --> 01:07:39,055 They said he wasn't allowed within 50 feet of the kids. 1535 01:07:39,122 --> 01:07:41,724 [crowd gasping, laughing] 1536 01:07:45,028 --> 01:07:46,396 [Jey] All right, look, that's all I got. 1537 01:07:46,462 --> 01:07:48,798 I'm gonna take it home, so y'all don't turn heel on my boy, 1538 01:07:48,865 --> 01:07:50,266 like y'all did Sami Zayn. 1539 01:07:50,934 --> 01:07:53,136 Four letters. One word. 1540 01:07:53,202 --> 01:07:54,404 Uh-uh. 1541 01:07:54,470 --> 01:07:55,838 [crowd] Yeet! 1542 01:07:56,940 --> 01:07:58,942 [Tony] Jey Uso, ladies and gentlemen. 1543 01:07:59,008 --> 01:08:00,343 I love it. 1544 01:08:00,410 --> 01:08:02,245 -Fuck. -[crowd cheering] 1545 01:08:02,312 --> 01:08:05,248 The way you move this crowd when you come out 1546 01:08:05,315 --> 01:08:06,783 is absolutely incredible. 1547 01:08:07,317 --> 01:08:10,386 Redban's new to the WWE Universe. 1548 01:08:11,654 --> 01:08:14,691 I lost my virginity to WrestleMania III, 1549 01:08:14,757 --> 01:08:17,560 though, watching Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant. 1550 01:08:17,627 --> 01:08:19,162 And I'd rather watch them 1551 01:08:19,228 --> 01:08:21,264 than fuck a pussy for my first time, though. 1552 01:08:21,331 --> 01:08:22,532 -I remember that. -Wow. 1553 01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:24,133 What's wrong with me? 1554 01:08:24,634 --> 01:08:26,135 There you go. 1555 01:08:26,202 --> 01:08:27,337 Had to learn how to dap up, uce. 1556 01:08:27,403 --> 01:08:28,805 Yeah. 1557 01:08:28,871 --> 01:08:30,139 Kind of missed your shit. 1558 01:08:33,109 --> 01:08:34,911 Jey, this is the closest thing 1559 01:08:34,978 --> 01:08:37,580 to stand-up comedy that you've done before, right? 1560 01:08:37,647 --> 01:08:39,449 -Yeah. Yeah, Tony. -Hell yeah. 1561 01:08:39,515 --> 01:08:42,652 I like it, though. I mean, this is by far the most nervous 1562 01:08:42,719 --> 01:08:43,653 or whatever I've ever done. 1563 01:08:43,720 --> 01:08:46,689 I know wrestling in front of sixty thousand, 1564 01:08:46,756 --> 01:08:50,693 but making people laugh is different, man. 1565 01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:52,996 -So, yeah. Yeet. -Yeah. 1566 01:08:53,062 --> 01:08:55,098 -[Tony] Respect. Absolutely. -Yeah. 1567 01:08:55,765 --> 01:08:57,800 I respect the hell out of what you guys do, 1568 01:08:57,867 --> 01:08:59,802 and it's amazing to hear 1569 01:08:59,869 --> 01:09:03,139 that something like this can make you guys, 1570 01:09:03,206 --> 01:09:04,874 who are larger than life, nervous. 1571 01:09:04,941 --> 01:09:06,175 It's incredible. 1572 01:09:07,110 --> 01:09:09,946 Jeff Ross was at his first WrestleMania today. 1573 01:09:10,013 --> 01:09:11,514 We saw you crushing it. 1574 01:09:11,581 --> 01:09:12,448 Be nice, Jeff. 1575 01:09:12,515 --> 01:09:13,950 We saw you crush it over there 1576 01:09:14,017 --> 01:09:16,085 and just absolutely eat shit over here. 1577 01:09:17,887 --> 01:09:19,922 But I get it man, 1578 01:09:19,989 --> 01:09:22,125 you're out of your comfort zone over here trying 1579 01:09:22,191 --> 01:09:25,361 stand up comedy But you had one joke. 1580 01:09:25,428 --> 01:09:26,396 I heard of Bad Bunny. 1581 01:09:26,462 --> 01:09:27,797 You're like Bad Funny. 1582 01:09:29,565 --> 01:09:31,601 Hey Jeff. At least I'm from the Bloodline, motherfucker. 1583 01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:33,603 It look like you in line for blood. 1584 01:09:33,670 --> 01:09:35,872 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1585 01:09:36,739 --> 01:09:38,408 That's what I'm talking about! 1586 01:09:39,075 --> 01:09:40,977 That's what I'm talking about! 1587 01:09:41,044 --> 01:09:44,180 Hey, hey, Jeff looked like he cleaned my pool on Wednesday. 1588 01:09:45,882 --> 01:09:47,784 -[Tony] Oh, shit. -That's what I'm talking about! 1589 01:09:47,850 --> 01:09:50,186 Yeah, Jeff over here belting and shit. 1590 01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:52,321 That's what you look like. 1591 01:09:52,388 --> 01:09:53,456 "Hurry up, man, so we can go, man." 1592 01:09:53,523 --> 01:09:55,992 "It's past Taker's bedtime. We gots to go." 1593 01:09:56,059 --> 01:09:57,293 [Tony laughs] 1594 01:09:57,360 --> 01:09:59,128 [Jey] I ain't gonna finna do nothing about Taker. 1595 01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:00,763 You woke up the monster. 1596 01:10:01,297 --> 01:10:03,132 There's a little roaster in there. 1597 01:10:03,199 --> 01:10:05,368 I mean, man, I know what he do. 1598 01:10:05,935 --> 01:10:06,936 I love it. 1599 01:10:07,003 --> 01:10:07,904 I love it. 1600 01:10:07,970 --> 01:10:09,872 You're dressed for today and tomorrow. 1601 01:10:09,939 --> 01:10:11,908 [crowd laughing] 1602 01:10:12,875 --> 01:10:14,577 Sneak up in your back door, too. 1603 01:10:16,079 --> 01:10:17,246 [Jeff] I love this guy now. 1604 01:10:17,313 --> 01:10:18,181 See? 1605 01:10:18,247 --> 01:10:20,349 You fucking broke through, baby, and they love you. 1606 01:10:20,416 --> 01:10:21,451 It's amazing. 1607 01:10:25,154 --> 01:10:29,092 [crowd chanting "Yeet"] 1608 01:10:31,928 --> 01:10:34,430 Jey, I'm so happy you joined us for this. 1609 01:10:34,497 --> 01:10:36,099 The people fucking love you. 1610 01:10:36,165 --> 01:10:39,869 You're such an amazing, entertaining, you have the aura 1611 01:10:39,936 --> 01:10:41,871 of a thousand fucking wrestlers right now. 1612 01:10:41,938 --> 01:10:43,206 It is incredible. 1613 01:10:43,272 --> 01:10:44,407 You're on top of your game. 1614 01:10:44,474 --> 01:10:46,776 Thank you for joining us and gracing us with your presence. 1615 01:10:46,843 --> 01:10:47,710 Thanks, uce. 1616 01:10:47,777 --> 01:10:49,812 [Tony] The great Jey Uso, ladies and gentlemen. 1617 01:10:49,879 --> 01:10:50,880 Hell yeah. 1618 01:10:50,947 --> 01:10:55,318 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1619 01:11:00,990 --> 01:11:03,359 One more time for the great Jey Uso, everybody. 1620 01:11:04,026 --> 01:11:06,429 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1621 01:11:07,029 --> 01:11:08,297 [crowd] Yeet! 1622 01:11:09,565 --> 01:11:13,569 I'm wondering if The Undertaker has ever been to a roast. 1623 01:11:13,636 --> 01:11:15,004 Have you ever been roasted? 1624 01:11:16,239 --> 01:11:17,607 No. 1625 01:11:17,673 --> 01:11:21,611 I hope you come out and see me and Tony at the Kevin Hart roast. 1626 01:11:21,677 --> 01:11:23,813 -Invite me. I'll be there, man. -You're there, baby. 1627 01:11:23,880 --> 01:11:25,181 -All right. -There, baby. 1628 01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:29,152 One more guy to make fun of at the roast. 1629 01:11:29,218 --> 01:11:30,219 I love it. 1630 01:11:31,454 --> 01:11:33,556 Yeah, you go ahead and do that. 1631 01:11:33,623 --> 01:11:34,957 Yes, hello, fanhausens. 1632 01:11:35,024 --> 01:11:35,992 It is I, Danhausen. 1633 01:11:36,058 --> 01:11:37,894 You're very nice, very evil. 1634 01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:39,896 Danhausen was in his brand-new blimp, 1635 01:11:39,962 --> 01:11:41,063 and he took a wrong turn, 1636 01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:43,399 so he could not get to the Dolby Theatre tonight. 1637 01:11:43,466 --> 01:11:46,669 {\an8}However, he's been tasked with cursing you, 1638 01:11:46,736 --> 01:11:48,104 {\an8}a new comedian out here. 1639 01:11:48,171 --> 01:11:51,107 {\an8}So, here is Casey Rockethausen. 1640 01:11:52,175 --> 01:11:53,276 Yay! 1641 01:11:53,342 --> 01:11:54,577 Woo! 1642 01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:59,515 Laugh at him, because if you don't, you are cursed! 1643 01:11:59,582 --> 01:12:01,384 Hello, Mr. Undertaker! 1644 01:12:01,918 --> 01:12:03,686 [splashing, muttering] 1645 01:12:05,087 --> 01:12:07,857 There's no way this could possibly be happening. 1646 01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:09,659 One of the most… 1647 01:12:09,725 --> 01:12:10,693 Oh my… 1648 01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:11,961 There's no way. 1649 01:12:12,028 --> 01:12:13,262 Oh my God! 1650 01:12:13,329 --> 01:12:16,999 [upbeat ska music playing] 1651 01:12:45,661 --> 01:12:48,231 -[music concludes] -[crowd cheering] 1652 01:12:50,900 --> 01:12:57,173 {\an8}I'll be damned, here comes your ghost again. 1653 01:12:57,240 --> 01:12:58,341 What a rush. 1654 01:12:59,709 --> 01:13:00,710 Get real. 1655 01:13:02,144 --> 01:13:03,846 It's still real to me, damn it. 1656 01:13:07,450 --> 01:13:10,219 Hey, abolish ICE, whose idea was that, the Heat Miser? 1657 01:13:14,824 --> 01:13:15,958 Okay, so cool. 1658 01:13:17,760 --> 01:13:19,128 Taker, don't get any ideas. 1659 01:13:20,429 --> 01:13:21,964 I, uh, so cool. 1660 01:13:22,031 --> 01:13:22,899 Swanton bomb. 1661 01:13:22,965 --> 01:13:24,166 I don't give a fuck. 1662 01:13:25,968 --> 01:13:28,004 Cut the lights out. I'm going acapella. 1663 01:13:30,573 --> 01:13:32,575 I got to get out of here. I'm supposed to go to the Sphere 1664 01:13:32,642 --> 01:13:34,310 and watch Cannibal Holocaust. 1665 01:13:40,149 --> 01:13:43,252 There's nothing more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose. 1666 01:13:44,954 --> 01:13:46,255 So cool. 1667 01:13:46,322 --> 01:13:47,423 Y'all serve napalm here? 1668 01:13:47,490 --> 01:13:48,491 I, um… 1669 01:13:49,892 --> 01:13:52,795 So sick to think about, especially around the holidays. 1670 01:13:52,862 --> 01:13:53,829 Let's go. 1671 01:13:54,363 --> 01:13:55,865 No one can go up anymore. 1672 01:13:57,066 --> 01:13:57,967 [chuckles] 1673 01:13:58,534 --> 01:13:59,869 I broke your special mic. 1674 01:14:01,203 --> 01:14:02,471 Give me ten last minutes. 1675 01:14:07,643 --> 01:14:09,211 A lot of people say they can't fall asleep 1676 01:14:09,278 --> 01:14:10,880 without ambient noise. 1677 01:14:10,947 --> 01:14:12,014 Not me. 1678 01:14:12,081 --> 01:14:15,084 I can only fall asleep if I listen to Ambien noise. 1679 01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:18,020 Steal a car. Steal a car. 1680 01:14:18,087 --> 01:14:20,323 Become a goose. You're a goose now. 1681 01:14:28,030 --> 01:14:28,998 I should get going. 1682 01:14:29,065 --> 01:14:31,233 I heard there was a haunting in Connecticut. 1683 01:14:32,835 --> 01:14:35,838 Why did that hit so hard? Why did it work so well? 1684 01:14:37,073 --> 01:14:38,274 This city needs a hero. 1685 01:14:42,111 --> 01:14:44,146 It's just me on top of the Tropicana. 1686 01:14:45,381 --> 01:14:46,449 I'm just smoking K2. 1687 01:14:48,851 --> 01:14:50,619 [chuckles] Wah! 1688 01:14:51,854 --> 01:14:52,888 He's gonna jump. 1689 01:14:52,955 --> 01:14:54,056 Wah! 1690 01:14:55,024 --> 01:14:55,992 He's gonna stay. 1691 01:14:56,058 --> 01:14:57,259 Wah! 1692 01:14:57,793 --> 01:14:59,962 [crowd laughing] 1693 01:15:02,698 --> 01:15:03,699 I shouldn't even be here. 1694 01:15:03,766 --> 01:15:05,835 I violated the Kill Tony wellness policy. 1695 01:15:07,536 --> 01:15:10,740 I took thirty Benadryl and made commune with the winged serpent. 1696 01:15:19,548 --> 01:15:20,883 I've been dating someone. 1697 01:15:20,950 --> 01:15:23,619 We did a Lady and the Tramp thing with a slinky. 1698 01:15:29,025 --> 01:15:31,761 Can I ask you guys a serious question, if you have a second? 1699 01:15:31,827 --> 01:15:33,329 [crowd] Yeah! 1700 01:15:33,396 --> 01:15:36,065 Do you guys also hate it when mommy and daddy fight? 1701 01:15:36,132 --> 01:15:38,467 -[crowd] Yeah. -[laughs] 1702 01:15:42,371 --> 01:15:45,174 But it has been a tough month. 1703 01:15:45,241 --> 01:15:46,942 Don't you give me that bear sound. 1704 01:15:51,347 --> 01:15:52,548 So cool to think about. 1705 01:15:54,050 --> 01:15:57,053 I took six slugs in a DEA shootout in Port Aransas. 1706 01:15:59,455 --> 01:16:01,857 And they said I could never come back from it. 1707 01:16:02,625 --> 01:16:03,826 And look at me now. 1708 01:16:05,127 --> 01:16:07,196 I have six kids by seven different women. 1709 01:16:15,004 --> 01:16:18,607 Thank you guys for having me back. I'm a hundred days sober today. 1710 01:16:18,674 --> 01:16:21,410 -[crowd cheering, applauding] -[fireworks whistling] 1711 01:16:21,477 --> 01:16:22,812 [Tony] I love that. 1712 01:16:24,647 --> 01:16:25,848 I did not know that. 1713 01:16:26,348 --> 01:16:27,850 Casey, stick with us up here. 1714 01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:28,918 Grab that mic. 1715 01:16:30,319 --> 01:16:31,287 That is amazing. 1716 01:16:31,353 --> 01:16:36,058 I haven't seen Casey a little behind the Kill Tony… 1717 01:16:36,125 --> 01:16:39,728 uh, studio. I haven't seen you in such a long time. 1718 01:16:39,795 --> 01:16:42,798 That is amazing news to find out you're a hundred days sober. 1719 01:16:42,865 --> 01:16:44,133 How about one more time for that? 1720 01:16:44,200 --> 01:16:45,067 Thanks. 1721 01:16:45,134 --> 01:16:47,670 I can tell you for a fact, Casey is a wild boy, 1722 01:16:47,736 --> 01:16:49,805 a throwback to a different era. 1723 01:16:50,973 --> 01:16:52,241 It's the real deal. 1724 01:16:52,308 --> 01:16:54,844 Not only does he dress like the Hardy Boyz, 1725 01:16:54,910 --> 01:16:56,712 he also parties like the Hardy Boyz. 1726 01:16:59,615 --> 01:17:01,050 More like Hardly Boyz. 1727 01:17:03,185 --> 01:17:04,120 Stop. 1728 01:17:05,488 --> 01:17:06,922 Not on my special night. 1729 01:17:08,557 --> 01:17:10,993 Casey, this is amazing. 1730 01:17:11,060 --> 01:17:15,898 You are one of the true legends of the Kill Tony Universe. 1731 01:17:15,965 --> 01:17:21,003 And we absolutely are amazed that you're back. 1732 01:17:21,070 --> 01:17:24,406 -["Welcome To The Queendom" playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 1733 01:17:28,210 --> 01:17:31,447 Wow, Stephanie McMahon, ladies and gentlemen! 1734 01:17:41,690 --> 01:17:44,660 [Stephanie] How's it goin', Casey, I'm out here for you. 1735 01:17:44,727 --> 01:17:45,794 Thanks, I got scared. 1736 01:17:45,861 --> 01:17:47,630 [group laughs] 1737 01:17:47,696 --> 01:17:48,931 You should be scared. 1738 01:17:48,998 --> 01:17:50,666 -You should, you should. -Oh, cool. 1739 01:17:50,733 --> 01:17:53,002 You know, just last night I was inducted 1740 01:17:53,068 --> 01:17:56,906 into the WWE Hall of Fame right here on this very stage. 1741 01:17:59,842 --> 01:18:02,378 {\an8}But tonight, Casey, it isn't about me. 1742 01:18:02,912 --> 01:18:03,879 It's about you. 1743 01:18:04,513 --> 01:18:07,483 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1744 01:18:09,818 --> 01:18:10,819 Thanks. 1745 01:18:11,620 --> 01:18:13,989 So, Casey, it seems that you're no stranger 1746 01:18:14,056 --> 01:18:15,824 to receiving awards, and of course, 1747 01:18:15,891 --> 01:18:18,894 you know, the WWE is extremely prestigious 1748 01:18:18,961 --> 01:18:20,696 with the WWE Hall of Fame, 1749 01:18:20,763 --> 01:18:25,301 but there is no more prestigious Hall of Fame 1750 01:18:25,367 --> 01:18:30,439 than the well-established Kill Tony Hall of Fame. 1751 01:18:31,407 --> 01:18:34,677 So, congratulations, Casey Rocket. 1752 01:18:34,743 --> 01:18:37,446 You are the sixth official member 1753 01:18:37,513 --> 01:18:42,084 of the Kill Tony Hall of Fame. 1754 01:18:42,151 --> 01:18:46,522 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1755 01:18:51,827 --> 01:18:53,429 [Tony] Absolutely awesome. 1756 01:18:54,363 --> 01:18:56,031 Thank you, Stephanie McMahon, 1757 01:18:56,966 --> 01:18:59,602 for crowning the great Casey Rocket. 1758 01:18:59,668 --> 01:19:01,036 Congratulations, buddy, 1759 01:19:01,103 --> 01:19:04,873 on a hundred days and a hundred thousand amazing sets. 1760 01:19:05,474 --> 01:19:09,211 You are a firefly of greatness and we 1761 01:19:09,278 --> 01:19:12,181 absolutely love your originality and style. 1762 01:19:12,248 --> 01:19:14,016 Casey Rocket, ladies and gentlemen. 1763 01:19:14,083 --> 01:19:16,051 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1764 01:19:17,586 --> 01:19:18,554 Thanks, y'all. 1765 01:19:18,621 --> 01:19:20,422 Keep riffing. I appreciate it. 1766 01:19:20,489 --> 01:19:22,491 If you ever look up at the moon, just know I'm riffing 1767 01:19:22,558 --> 01:19:23,726 under the same moon, man. 1768 01:19:23,792 --> 01:19:24,960 I appreciate it, y'all. 1769 01:19:26,762 --> 01:19:28,731 [Tony] There he goes, Casey Rocket. 1770 01:19:28,797 --> 01:19:31,033 One more time for the great Stephanie McMahon, 1771 01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:32,167 ladies and gentlemen. 1772 01:19:32,234 --> 01:19:33,969 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1773 01:19:34,036 --> 01:19:35,271 Absolutely awesome. 1774 01:19:35,904 --> 01:19:38,307 Well, there's only one way to end a show 1775 01:19:38,374 --> 01:19:39,908 like this, and when you start 1776 01:19:39,975 --> 01:19:43,345 with William Montgomery, it's a tough situation, right? 1777 01:19:43,412 --> 01:19:44,913 How do you follow all of this? 1778 01:19:44,980 --> 01:19:47,583 The return of Casey Rocket 1779 01:19:47,650 --> 01:19:50,753 and so many great things that happened tonight. 1780 01:19:50,819 --> 01:19:54,590 Let's not forget our new guy, Boom Boom, Chris Waldeck, 1781 01:19:54,657 --> 01:19:57,559 ladies and gentlemen, receiving a Golden Ticket tonight. 1782 01:19:57,626 --> 01:20:00,095 Casey Rocket going into the Hall of Fame. 1783 01:20:00,162 --> 01:20:02,965 But I got one more little trick up my sleeve, ladies and gentlemen. 1784 01:20:03,032 --> 01:20:05,134 The man is simply an anomaly. 1785 01:20:05,200 --> 01:20:06,802 He's the only person in the history 1786 01:20:06,869 --> 01:20:09,138 of the show that I've ever given creative control 1787 01:20:09,204 --> 01:20:10,572 to in any way whatsoever. 1788 01:20:11,140 --> 01:20:13,208 Sometimes he abuses it. 1789 01:20:13,275 --> 01:20:15,577 Let's see what happens here tonight. 1790 01:20:15,644 --> 01:20:18,747 I present to you a man unlike anybody else. 1791 01:20:18,814 --> 01:20:20,149 Some say he's a character. 1792 01:20:20,215 --> 01:20:21,650 I think it's realer than that. 1793 01:20:21,717 --> 01:20:24,086 It's real to me, damn it. 1794 01:20:24,153 --> 01:20:27,089 I present to you the powerhouse unlike any other. 1795 01:20:27,156 --> 01:20:29,558 This is Timmy No Brakes! 1796 01:20:29,625 --> 01:20:32,528 -[upbeat jazzy music playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 1797 01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:40,536 [Tony] Oh my God, there he is! 1798 01:21:18,407 --> 01:21:23,312 {\an8}-[music concludes] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 1799 01:21:26,982 --> 01:21:28,884 {\an8}Bill Cosby Entertainment. 1800 01:21:31,053 --> 01:21:33,389 The Weinstein Company, Kill Tony. 1801 01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:37,493 What do all these businesses have in common? 1802 01:21:39,161 --> 01:21:42,197 None of them give their employees health insurance. 1803 01:21:45,000 --> 01:21:46,368 And look, I get it. 1804 01:21:46,435 --> 01:21:48,137 It's expensive, you know? 1805 01:21:49,705 --> 01:21:51,807 Everybody on the show is fucking disabled. 1806 01:21:55,210 --> 01:22:00,349 Tone has AIDS and he's fighting, he's fighting every day. 1807 01:22:00,416 --> 01:22:02,718 Casey has fucking lead poisoning 1808 01:22:02,785 --> 01:22:05,587 from swallowing fifty thousand Dutchman's Keys, okay? 1809 01:22:06,321 --> 01:22:11,260 William is a redhead, fucking, look at Redban, I don't know. 1810 01:22:13,395 --> 01:22:16,932 D-Madness is fucking black, you know? 1811 01:22:16,999 --> 01:22:20,135 [crowd laughing] 1812 01:22:21,303 --> 01:22:22,771 And I have a horse cock. 1813 01:22:26,008 --> 01:22:28,677 On that table is a contract 1814 01:22:29,311 --> 01:22:33,916 that on this night will be signed by Tone, 1815 01:22:33,982 --> 01:22:37,286 and it will give me health insurance. 1816 01:22:41,757 --> 01:22:43,892 I will read from said contract. 1817 01:22:45,761 --> 01:22:47,229 Start the timer, Redban. 1818 01:22:50,132 --> 01:22:52,267 This agreement is entered between… 1819 01:22:53,235 --> 01:22:55,938 So I have to include our real names for this. 1820 01:22:56,004 --> 01:22:57,139 Timothy No Brakes. 1821 01:22:58,841 --> 01:23:01,677 And Tony Statutory Hinchcliffe. 1822 01:23:04,646 --> 01:23:10,219 Timothy will appear on Kill Tone where he will perform minutes, 1823 01:23:10,285 --> 01:23:15,057 interviews, and like, fuck Heidi and shit. 1824 01:23:15,123 --> 01:23:16,525 [crowd laughing] 1825 01:23:17,192 --> 01:23:20,562 Okay, Heidi, if you're not cool with that, just come out and let me know. 1826 01:23:20,629 --> 01:23:21,630 Okay, great. 1827 01:23:22,731 --> 01:23:23,799 That's fucking great. 1828 01:23:26,134 --> 01:23:28,637 In exchange for services rendered, 1829 01:23:29,905 --> 01:23:34,076 he will get health insurance, five "ya gays" 1830 01:23:34,142 --> 01:23:38,847 per appearance, and most importantly, 1831 01:23:38,914 --> 01:23:42,451 ten panel appearances per year 1832 01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:46,255 for the next ten years or until I get SNL, okay? 1833 01:23:47,789 --> 01:23:49,525 How do we fucking feel about that? 1834 01:23:49,591 --> 01:23:50,659 [crowd cheering] 1835 01:23:50,726 --> 01:23:52,027 Tone, let's sign the contract. 1836 01:23:52,094 --> 01:23:53,095 Come over here. 1837 01:23:53,896 --> 01:23:55,531 Yes, sign the contract, Tone. 1838 01:23:55,597 --> 01:23:56,665 [Tony] No. 1839 01:23:56,732 --> 01:23:57,833 Why? What's your problem? 1840 01:23:57,900 --> 01:23:59,635 [Tony] Because I'm not signing a contract. 1841 01:23:59,701 --> 01:24:01,770 Why? What about his fucking-- 1842 01:24:02,704 --> 01:24:03,906 That contract's crazy. 1843 01:24:03,972 --> 01:24:04,840 I'm not going to sign it. 1844 01:24:04,907 --> 01:24:06,942 It's not. What's crazy about it? The panel shit? 1845 01:24:07,009 --> 01:24:09,545 -Yeah. I mean… -Why is that crazy? 1846 01:24:09,611 --> 01:24:12,548 I mean, you know, I like to have creative control, Timmy. 1847 01:24:12,614 --> 01:24:14,883 I got to book the thing. I have to envision it. 1848 01:24:14,950 --> 01:24:16,418 -I have to… -[crowd booing] 1849 01:24:16,485 --> 01:24:17,586 Here's what I'll say. 1850 01:24:17,653 --> 01:24:18,954 Shut the fuck up, guys. 1851 01:24:19,021 --> 01:24:20,022 I got this. 1852 01:24:21,056 --> 01:24:26,562 Every fucking time I see the same panel people 1853 01:24:26,628 --> 01:24:28,130 on every episode. 1854 01:24:28,196 --> 01:24:30,699 Pauly Shore has been on the fucking panel 1855 01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:32,701 like five times. 1856 01:24:32,768 --> 01:24:33,735 That guy's a has-been. 1857 01:24:33,802 --> 01:24:35,571 That guy's a never-was. 1858 01:24:35,637 --> 01:24:36,672 What? 1859 01:24:36,738 --> 01:24:38,807 -He's a never-was. -[Pauly] Boo. 1860 01:24:40,776 --> 01:24:41,777 [Tony] Oh shit. 1861 01:24:42,444 --> 01:24:43,312 It's Pauly Shore. 1862 01:24:43,378 --> 01:24:46,481 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1863 01:24:52,020 --> 01:24:55,757 Yo, why are you fucking pushing this motherfucker? 1864 01:24:56,325 --> 01:24:57,292 Don't push him. 1865 01:24:57,359 --> 01:24:59,261 You're lucky you're on the stage, dude. 1866 01:24:59,328 --> 01:25:01,396 You should be kissing his ring, dude. 1867 01:25:01,463 --> 01:25:04,566 {\an8}Guys like you and Cam Patterson and William Montgomery 1868 01:25:04,633 --> 01:25:06,602 {\an8}and all these fucking guys have careers 1869 01:25:06,668 --> 01:25:08,036 {\an8}because of this guy. 1870 01:25:08,103 --> 01:25:10,505 {\an8}You're lucky you're even in the fucking building, dude. 1871 01:25:10,572 --> 01:25:14,876 This guy is the Mitzi Shore, my mom who started The Comedy Store. 1872 01:25:16,178 --> 01:25:18,747 Many years ago, who started Richard Pryor, 1873 01:25:18,814 --> 01:25:21,416 Robin Williams, all these people, this is the guy 1874 01:25:21,483 --> 01:25:22,784 of this generation. 1875 01:25:22,851 --> 01:25:24,086 Don't push contracts on him. 1876 01:25:24,152 --> 01:25:25,487 That's not fucking cool, dude. 1877 01:25:25,554 --> 01:25:28,390 I'm gonna say one thing, and that's that I didn't understand 1878 01:25:28,457 --> 01:25:31,159 a single fucking thing you said, you gay Californian. 1879 01:25:31,793 --> 01:25:32,794 Okay? 1880 01:25:34,429 --> 01:25:36,398 All I'm saying is because of Kill Tony, 1881 01:25:36,465 --> 01:25:38,100 there's a lot of young comics. 1882 01:25:38,166 --> 01:25:39,034 You know what? 1883 01:25:39,101 --> 01:25:41,837 If anything, I should be the one that's fucking pissed off, dude. 1884 01:25:41,903 --> 01:25:42,838 I saw his show. 1885 01:25:42,904 --> 01:25:45,774 Give it up for Kill Tony, one of the best shows ever. 1886 01:25:45,841 --> 01:25:47,409 -[crowd cheering] -I saw his show recently. 1887 01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:50,345 I think it was New Year's Eve or something. 1888 01:25:50,412 --> 01:25:52,047 And I saw fucking Carrot Top, bro. 1889 01:25:52,114 --> 01:25:53,548 Fucking Carrot Top. 1890 01:25:53,615 --> 01:25:55,684 This guy, Carrot Top. 1891 01:25:55,751 --> 01:25:58,687 I started freaking out on this guy, Carrot Top. 1892 01:25:58,754 --> 01:25:59,855 [Tony] Oh shit! 1893 01:25:59,921 --> 01:26:01,156 What the fuck? 1894 01:26:01,223 --> 01:26:02,090 Fuck. 1895 01:26:04,159 --> 01:26:05,227 This guy. 1896 01:26:05,293 --> 01:26:06,895 This guy. How are you? 1897 01:26:06,962 --> 01:26:08,897 I didn't mean to. You know I didn't mean-- 1898 01:26:08,964 --> 01:26:10,866 I said I like you. I like you. You're cool, dude. 1899 01:26:10,932 --> 01:26:13,568 -We've never been together this close. -I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1900 01:26:13,635 --> 01:26:14,870 Give it up for Carrot Top. 1901 01:26:14,936 --> 01:26:16,138 I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry. 1902 01:26:16,204 --> 01:26:19,574 [Tony] Oh my God. The 2026 guest of the year. Carrot Top. 1903 01:26:19,641 --> 01:26:21,009 Co-guest of the year. 1904 01:26:21,076 --> 01:26:22,244 What's up, Jeffrey Ross? 1905 01:26:22,310 --> 01:26:24,479 Hell yeah. Look at his cop-- Look at this. 1906 01:26:24,546 --> 01:26:26,715 He's like a fucking federal agent. Fuck. I love that. 1907 01:26:26,782 --> 01:26:27,783 Boom. 1908 01:26:31,119 --> 01:26:32,587 [Tony] Welcome, Carrot Top. 1909 01:26:32,654 --> 01:26:33,722 Yeah. 1910 01:26:33,789 --> 01:26:34,656 Yeah, I'm sorry, dude. 1911 01:26:34,723 --> 01:26:37,159 He was mad that I was Guest of the Year, and he said, 1912 01:26:37,225 --> 01:26:38,193 why was I Guest of the Year? 1913 01:26:38,260 --> 01:26:40,462 {\an8}Which, by the way, wasn't Guest of the Year. 1914 01:26:40,529 --> 01:26:42,364 {\an8}It was Guests of the Year. 1915 01:26:42,431 --> 01:26:43,298 {\an8}Yeah. 1916 01:26:43,365 --> 01:26:46,001 {\an8}The trophy said Guest, and it was Rob Schneider and me. 1917 01:26:46,068 --> 01:26:47,169 [Jeff] Is this guy a vegetable? 1918 01:26:47,235 --> 01:26:49,037 No, I had my… I had my… 1919 01:26:50,405 --> 01:26:51,840 He's a fucking retard. 1920 01:26:53,608 --> 01:26:54,476 Stop fucking around. 1921 01:26:54,543 --> 01:26:56,611 This isn't a retirement home party. 1922 01:26:56,678 --> 01:26:59,314 I want you to sign the contract. 1923 01:26:59,381 --> 01:27:01,116 [Pauly] See, this is all the way. 1924 01:27:01,183 --> 01:27:03,151 I took this all the way from the Luxor just 1925 01:27:03,218 --> 01:27:04,553 for this moment. 1926 01:27:04,619 --> 01:27:05,620 I'm so sorry. 1927 01:27:05,687 --> 01:27:06,555 I actually really… 1928 01:27:06,621 --> 01:27:07,889 I love Carrot Top. 1929 01:27:07,956 --> 01:27:10,325 -We do love each other. -You gotta see his show at the Luxor. 1930 01:27:10,392 --> 01:27:12,494 No, get out of there. Stop doing that. 1931 01:27:12,561 --> 01:27:14,863 That was funny. That was actually pretty funny. 1932 01:27:14,930 --> 01:27:16,198 He deserves it. 1933 01:27:16,264 --> 01:27:17,566 He deserves it, right? 1934 01:27:17,632 --> 01:27:18,567 Pauly Shore, everybody. 1935 01:27:18,633 --> 01:27:19,501 God bless Pauly Shore. 1936 01:27:19,568 --> 01:27:21,002 We've been friends for… 1937 01:27:21,069 --> 01:27:24,339 Yeah, a long fucking time. 1938 01:27:24,406 --> 01:27:26,208 Speaking of old, we are fucking old. 1939 01:27:26,908 --> 01:27:28,043 [Tony] I love you guys. 1940 01:27:28,110 --> 01:27:28,977 I love you. 1941 01:27:29,044 --> 01:27:30,645 And these guys respect me, Timmy. 1942 01:27:30,712 --> 01:27:32,214 They're not like you out here, 1943 01:27:32,280 --> 01:27:35,383 out of control and greased up and whatever's going on over here. 1944 01:27:35,450 --> 01:27:38,253 Whatever. I don't fucking care, Tone. 1945 01:27:38,320 --> 01:27:39,654 You got to sign this contract, 1946 01:27:39,721 --> 01:27:41,156 and I'm not doing the show anymore. 1947 01:27:41,223 --> 01:27:42,858 I'm not signing the contract. 1948 01:27:42,924 --> 01:27:45,227 So what are we going to do about it, Tone? 1949 01:27:45,293 --> 01:27:47,028 Are you saying I'm off the show? 1950 01:27:47,662 --> 01:27:49,431 I mean, I'm going to tell you this. 1951 01:27:49,498 --> 01:27:53,101 You were a regular, and if you want to, 1952 01:27:53,168 --> 01:27:56,571 I'll downgrade you to being a bronze ticket winner. 1953 01:27:56,638 --> 01:27:57,506 You know what? 1954 01:27:57,572 --> 01:27:58,440 Fuck you. 1955 01:27:58,507 --> 01:27:59,474 Fuck you. 1956 01:27:59,541 --> 01:28:01,109 I don't need this fucking show. 1957 01:28:01,643 --> 01:28:03,278 I'm bigger than this show. 1958 01:28:03,345 --> 01:28:05,347 I'm bigger than this fucking audience. 1959 01:28:05,413 --> 01:28:06,982 You guys disgust me. 1960 01:28:07,582 --> 01:28:10,819 All you guys look like fat fucking slobs. 1961 01:28:10,886 --> 01:28:12,587 Every time I'm looking at… 1962 01:28:12,654 --> 01:28:14,990 This fucking guy is a virgin. 1963 01:28:15,056 --> 01:28:17,259 This guy's never fucked in his life. 1964 01:28:17,325 --> 01:28:18,693 Look at all you guys. 1965 01:28:18,760 --> 01:28:22,030 I've been seeing you all weekend running after people 1966 01:28:22,097 --> 01:28:25,767 in the casino who are oiled up and jacked, you fucking… 1967 01:28:25,834 --> 01:28:27,035 [Pauly] Get him out of here. 1968 01:28:27,102 --> 01:28:28,303 Get him out of here. 1969 01:28:28,804 --> 01:28:32,040 …like it's a fucking belt, fuck you, and fuck you. 1970 01:28:32,107 --> 01:28:36,278 Look at these poors up here, I can't even fucking see you poor people. 1971 01:28:36,344 --> 01:28:39,014 I have to get on a fucking chair to look at every one 1972 01:28:39,080 --> 01:28:41,650 of you poor motherfuckers. 1973 01:28:41,716 --> 01:28:46,688 I have one thing to say and that's that fuck you, Kill Tony audience. 1974 01:28:46,755 --> 01:28:48,990 -[crowd cheering] -And fuck you, Wrestlemania! 1975 01:28:49,057 --> 01:28:50,492 I don't give a shit. 1976 01:28:50,559 --> 01:28:52,460 Oh, you're applauding for me now? 1977 01:28:54,196 --> 01:28:55,330 [Tony] Oh shit. 1978 01:28:57,165 --> 01:28:58,133 What's up? 1979 01:28:58,733 --> 01:28:59,901 [Tony] Holy fuck. 1980 01:29:01,369 --> 01:29:03,338 Oh, shit. 1981 01:29:04,706 --> 01:29:07,242 [chuckles] Make some noise for Triple H, everybody! 1982 01:29:07,309 --> 01:29:09,311 [crowd cheering, applauding] 1983 01:29:09,911 --> 01:29:11,179 Fuck yes. 1984 01:29:11,246 --> 01:29:12,747 [laughs] 1985 01:29:13,315 --> 01:29:14,549 ["The Game" playing] 1986 01:29:14,616 --> 01:29:16,384 ♪ It's all about the game And how you play it ♪ 1987 01:29:16,451 --> 01:29:17,586 Hell yeah. 1988 01:29:17,652 --> 01:29:19,354 ♪ All about control And if you can take it… ♪ 1989 01:29:19,454 --> 01:29:20,755 My man. 1990 01:29:20,822 --> 01:29:22,224 The great Triple H. 1991 01:29:22,290 --> 01:29:23,825 ♪ It's all about pain… ♪ 1992 01:29:23,892 --> 01:29:28,063 Putting on an unbelievable WrestleMania weekend for everybody. 1993 01:29:29,698 --> 01:29:31,800 How fucking awesome is this, huh? 1994 01:29:31,867 --> 01:29:34,236 ♪ I am heavy debts No way you can pay me… ♪ 1995 01:29:34,903 --> 01:29:36,404 Did you guys have fun tonight? 1996 01:29:37,005 --> 01:29:39,140 -[crowd cheering] -♪ Look over your shoulder ready to run ♪ 1997 01:29:39,241 --> 01:29:40,976 ♪ Like a good little bitch From a smoking gun ♪ 1998 01:29:41,076 --> 01:29:44,846 Hello, one more time for everybody you saw, 1999 01:29:44,913 --> 01:29:48,350 all the regulars, Casey Rocket, the new Golden Ticket winner 2000 01:29:48,416 --> 01:29:53,788 Chris Waldeck, Dedrick Flynn, everybody, thanks to the WWE, 2001 01:29:53,855 --> 01:29:57,325 make sure you watch Raw out tonight, 2002 01:29:57,392 --> 01:29:59,361 WrestleMania, re-watch it. 2003 01:30:00,595 --> 01:30:04,866 One more time for Jeff Ross, make sure you see 2004 01:30:07,168 --> 01:30:09,371 Take a Banana for the Ride. It's the greatest special 2005 01:30:09,437 --> 01:30:14,075 on Netflix right now and uh, and the roast 2006 01:30:14,142 --> 01:30:16,811 on May 10th, no doubt about it, live. 2007 01:30:16,878 --> 01:30:19,381 Netflix live, The Roast of Kevin Hart. 2008 01:30:19,447 --> 01:30:21,650 Thank you Tony, what a fun fun night. 2009 01:30:21,716 --> 01:30:23,518 [Tony] Absolutely, yes, 2010 01:30:23,585 --> 01:30:26,421 and, uh, one more time for The Undertaker everyone. 2011 01:30:26,488 --> 01:30:28,623 [crowd cheering] 2012 01:30:28,690 --> 01:30:33,929 Make sure you check out his podcast, uh, Six Feet Below. 2013 01:30:33,995 --> 01:30:35,630 -It's, uh-- -Fuck! 2014 01:30:35,697 --> 01:30:39,534 It's Six Feet Fucking Under with The Undertaker! 2015 01:30:39,601 --> 01:30:41,636 Shit! God! 2016 01:30:42,871 --> 01:30:45,407 -Oh shit! -[crowd cheering] 2017 01:30:48,410 --> 01:30:53,081 -["Rest In Peace" playing] -[crowd cheering, applauding] 2018 01:31:05,193 --> 01:31:07,829 Holy shit! Holy shit! 2019 01:31:08,363 --> 01:31:12,334 Holy… Holy shit. 2020 01:31:13,802 --> 01:31:16,838 [crowd cheering, applauding] 2021 01:31:21,309 --> 01:31:22,644 [Redban] Holy shit. 2022 01:31:38,259 --> 01:31:39,694 [bell tolling] 2023 01:31:42,864 --> 01:31:47,002 -[crowd cheering, applauding] -[Redban chattering, laughing] 145858