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1
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,326
Hey! You kids!
2
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:28,724
Either show me your vendor
permits or get out of my spot!
3
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:32,075
So, what seems to be the
problem here, "mister?"
4
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:34,686
Yeah "mister," what's the
problem?
5
00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:35,774
Quiet, Moose.
6
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,167
Sorry, boss.
7
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,996
Hey kids, I don't mean to
run you out of business,
8
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,217
but you're kind of in my spot,
so I need to run you out of
9
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:44,435
business. ...
10
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,872
Or at least have you move.
11
00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:48,352
We were here first.
12
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:49,962
Yeah, first!
13
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:50,746
Moose?
14
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:51,529
Right.
15
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:52,835
Sorry.
16
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:55,664
Well, technically
I was here first.
17
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:56,708
I live here.
18
00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,536
This is where I park.
19
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,712
Not anymore.
20
00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:06,544
Ahhh-I have no answer for
that!
21
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:14,639
Children... can't
live with 'em,
22
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,946
can't hunt 'em for sport...
23
00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,817
Hey Mister. Lemonade?
24
00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:21,124
I don't want any.
I just want to go home.
25
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,996
Out of the way, irksome urchins.
26
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,998
I wasn't asking.
27
00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:28,740
You're going to buy a cup of
lemonade before you can pass.
28
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,612
Don't you threaten me kid,
29
00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:32,918
I- Gyah- Hey!
30
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,790
That'll be a dollar twenty-five.
31
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:38,141
A dollar twenty-five?!
That's outrageous!
32
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:41,275
Pay up, or Large Harold here
will give you the deepest,
33
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:44,495
longest lasting Charlie
horse you EVER had.
34
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,062
I call it a "Charles horse."
35
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:52,112
First of all, I don't carry
cash; second of all- Ahhh!
36
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:58,379
You'll pay for this, you
hooligans!
37
00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:03,166
Did you just call
us... hooligans?
38
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:04,385
Ahh! Ahh!
39
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:08,040
Get off me, you ankle
biting meatballs!
40
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:12,567
Hello?
41
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,264
I'm bruised and sticky!
42
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:14,960
...Dan?
43
00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:16,353
Who else?!
44
00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,877
Get over here! I have a
major problem with minors!
45
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:27,147
"If you know what's good for
you, don't mess with the
46
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:29,192
Lemonade Stand Gang.
47
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:33,196
Signed,
The Lemonade Stand Gang."
48
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:38,767
Those little beasts.
49
00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:44,425
LEMONADE STAND GANG!!!
50
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:54,565
Hello?? Dan?
Is everything okay?
51
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,306
Who is it?!
52
00:02:56,350 --> 00:03:01,268
It's Chris... who is this?
53
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,486
Did they see you come up here?
54
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,880
Well, I bought this
lemonade from them.
55
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:07,143
And they are right
downstairs.
56
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,145
So, probably.
57
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,494
Don't drink that poison!
58
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:11,321
Hey!
59
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:12,583
Hey, nothing.
60
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:14,759
Why are you supporting
those rapscallions?
61
00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:15,891
Well, they were pretty
aggressive,
62
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,371
but I was kind of
thirsty anyway.
63
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,982
So you know I bought some.
64
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:24,595
Aggressive?! They're a violent
gang of unrepentant thugs!
65
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:28,425
Practically corn children.
Look what they did to my window.
66
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:32,299
I'm pretty sure that was
already broken.
67
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,822
Ow!
68
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:35,780
Look at what they did to ME. .
69
00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:39,306
My poor, tender skin
is all bruised up...
70
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:40,785
So what do you want me
to do?
71
00:03:40,829 --> 00:03:45,355
I want you to go down
there and crush them.
72
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:48,967
Crush them with your
big strong hands.
73
00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:52,144
Yeah. Okay. I'm not going to
assault a group of children.
74
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:56,975
They're not children!
They're a wee organized crime,
75
00:03:57,019 --> 00:04:00,065
uh... organization!
76
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:02,329
Alright, well, you know that's
great and all, but I have
77
00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:05,419
dinner plans with the
wife so, you know...
78
00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:07,247
Bye.
79
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:09,292
Where are you going?
80
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,816
Get back here! Coward!
81
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:15,211
Hey mister. Lemonade?
82
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,081
No thanks, buddy. .
83
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:17,431
I just bought one, remember?
84
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:18,562
I do not.
85
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,695
Do you remember this guy
buying anything?
86
00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:23,350
I don't remember nothing, boss.
87
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,090
Watch the double negatives,
Moose.
88
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:26,744
Sorry, boss.
89
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:30,400
Okay kids, this has been
fun, but I have to go.
90
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:34,578
Come on kids, I--Gyah
91
00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:37,320
Hey, look you can't just
bully people like this,
92
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:38,582
you little hooligan.
93
00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:40,454
What did you call us?
94
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:43,979
Dolores!
95
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:46,590
Ow! Hey! Ow! Ow!
96
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,852
Hey! Ahh!
97
00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:50,115
Look, why can't you
just leave me alone!?
98
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,340
Hey honey.
99
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,254
What took you so long
to get ho-
100
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,430
Oh my gosh, Chris!
101
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:01,997
What happened to your shins?
102
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,346
I was attacked.
103
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,347
Mugged?
104
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,175
Uh... sort of...
105
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,612
There are these kids
outside Dan's place
106
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:09,831
who set up a lemonade stand--
107
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,920
What's funny?
108
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:15,489
I'm sorry. It's just... no,
nevermind. Sorry. Go on.
109
00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:18,100
Why are you laughing?
I can barely walk.
110
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,797
NOTHING is funny.
111
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:22,017
Come on, tell me what
happened.
112
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:24,628
Well, Dan said they
attacked him.
113
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,500
Mmm Hmm.
114
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:27,936
And I didn't believe him at
first--
115
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,590
Because it's
ridiculous?
116
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:32,462
Exactly. And then, when I left
his place, they tried to force
117
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:34,116
me to buy another lemonade.
118
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,813
I said "no thanks."
119
00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:39,426
Then they surrounded me and
went to town on my shins.
120
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,384
Fine, just make fun.
121
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:47,216
Oh no sweetheart, I'm sorry.
But you got beat up by kids?
122
00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:50,088
Not beat up!
Just kicked a lot.
123
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:52,700
Besides, it's not like I'm going
to fight a bunch of children.
124
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:55,572
Awww, listen, why don't
I get you an ice pack.
125
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,451
It's NOT funny!
126
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:14,591
Come on War Board, you're
supposed to inspire.
127
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:19,640
Voice mail?! Inconceivable!
Chris! Where are you?
128
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,903
You were supposed to be
here six minutes ago!
129
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:26,603
I'm giving you five more minutes
and then we're through.
130
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:27,865
Through forever!
131
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:30,477
Do you hear me, through?!
132
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:34,045
Some people are just
so inconsiderate...
133
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:38,441
I don't want any lemonade!
Just leave me alone!
134
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:40,487
Then give us your shoes!
135
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:43,794
Officer, you've got to help me!
136
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,666
Those kids are chasing
me!
137
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:46,841
They're extorting the
neighborhood and
138
00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:50,497
they physically assaulted me.
139
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,585
Is this true, kids?
140
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:52,890
No sir.
141
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:56,459
We run a lemonade stand
and he forgot to pay.
142
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,506
We're trying to raise money to
get surgery for Dolores.
143
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,072
I'm not well, sir.
144
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,770
Well that's just awful.
145
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:05,250
And you were trying to steal
lemonade from these sweet
146
00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:06,600
little angels.
147
00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:08,732
I ought to arrest you
right now.
148
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:11,213
No! You don't understand!
149
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:17,828
Move along, Sir... Before
I move you along, get me?
150
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:20,744
Talking to the cops?
Not smart.
151
00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:22,529
No one likes a tattletale.
152
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,574
Oh. Well, that's--
153
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,576
hey look! Ice cream man!
154
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,969
Nga-a-a!
155
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:30,537
See you real soon, "mister!"
156
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:33,757
Hey!
There's no ice cream man!
157
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:39,197
35... 34... 33...
158
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:39,981
Password?
159
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:41,199
Just let me in!
160
00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,550
Is that a kid doing a Chris
impression?
161
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:44,768
Dan! It's me!
162
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,335
They're right behind me!
Please! Open up!
163
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:50,252
Alright, if you're the real
Chris, do you prefer crispy
164
00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:51,949
bacon or chewy bacon?
165
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,777
Who cares?! I just love bacon!
166
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,392
What took you so long?
167
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:02,264
I was attacked! Again!
168
00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:03,570
By those kids, right?
169
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,223
Who else would be
attacking me?!
170
00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:08,313
I don't know, you're pretty ill
tempered and quick to anger.
171
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:10,664
I just assume you have
lots and lots of enemies.
172
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,666
Don't give me a hard time.
173
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:14,842
I got enough of it from
Elise last night at dinner.
174
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:18,585
Well, it's like I always
say: Elise is a jerk.
175
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:21,805
She's not a jerk, and
you're missing the point.
176
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:24,982
I'm trying to tell you, you were
right about those kids, okay?
177
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:27,898
Yeah. They're jerks.
Don't worry, though.
178
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:31,075
I'm working on a plan.
Hey, you're involved!
179
00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:32,468
What kind of plan?
180
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,208
Fear.
181
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:34,862
Fear?
182
00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:39,214
Fear, when wielded by the proper
hand, can be a powerful weapon.
183
00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:44,915
Now, what is the one
thing all children fear?
184
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:47,483
Crazy Aunt Mildred chained
up in the basement?
185
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,790
Um... I said "all children".
186
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,182
Oh! Clowns.
187
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:54,098
Close. Monsters.
188
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,100
Put this on.
189
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:58,102
No.
Not again.
190
00:08:58,146 --> 00:09:00,148
I got most of the ammonia out.
191
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:01,323
That still doesn't-
192
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:02,977
You said you were hot!
193
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:06,676
Look, we can go back and forth
about who dumped what on whom
194
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,156
because labels were
misread in haste;
195
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:12,160
or we could get back at
some pint-sized hooligans.
196
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:15,032
Your choice.
197
00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:22,605
This costume is hot.
I'm sweating buckets.
198
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:24,215
Quit complaining.
199
00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:26,609
I still can't believe I have
to be the one in the costume.
200
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,959
Bigger monsters
are scarier.
201
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:32,441
Now climb up there and tell him
that if he doesn't shut the
202
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:39,013
lemonade stand down, you'll
drag him off to Monsterland.
203
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:43,321
Do me proud, monster-Chris.
204
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:48,718
What is it, a hundred
degrees in here?
205
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,329
Timmy?
206
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:53,288
Just have a little more
homework to do, Mom.
207
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,377
Homework? It's summertime.
208
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,945
Yeah, but if I don't finish
my summer reading list,
209
00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:00,164
I won't be ready for September.
210
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:03,124
That's my little prince.
Well, don't work too hard.
211
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:05,648
Even overachievers need their
sleep.
212
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:16,354
Hi, Mrs. Fitzpatrick.
Is Dolores there?
213
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,574
Thank you.
214
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,444
Dolores?
215
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,011
Timmy.
216
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:22,665
I want to talk to you about
the lemonade stand receipts.
217
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,580
They're short.
218
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,148
Don't give me that "business
is slow" nonsense.
219
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,585
You go out there and
you make it happen.
220
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:36,418
Otherwise, I'll think you're
skimming.
221
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:43,077
You said you'd be a good
earner, Large Harold.
222
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,818
I don't want any more
excuses.
223
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,689
I want numbers.
224
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:47,516
Timmy?
225
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:48,909
Gotta go.
226
00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:52,826
Come on tiger, those teeth
won't brush themselves.
227
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,699
What's taking so long?
228
00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:59,833
He's still not in bed.
And I need water.
229
00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:03,358
We're not deviating from the
plan.
230
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:06,056
I'm so dehydrated I'm
about to pass out.
231
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:09,103
Just stick to the plan.
232
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:11,148
Dan?
233
00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:15,326
Dan?! I can't take another
minute in this costume!
234
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:18,460
I got you the new Adventures
of Population Control Johnny.
235
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:21,550
Thanks mom!
236
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:23,291
Don't stay up too late.
237
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:41,570
Finally.
238
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:48,838
So... Thirsty...
239
00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:52,276
Timmy, I told you to go to-
240
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,582
AAAHHHHH!!!
241
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,018
AAHHHH!!
242
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,628
Mom?
243
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,283
It's a misunderstanding!
244
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:08,771
Never send a Chris to do
a Dan's job. Incompitant
245
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:09,685
It's me.
246
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,599
Get everyone together.
247
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,819
Now.
248
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:15,778
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
249
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,519
Don't worry, I am.
250
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:19,477
For many, many reasons.
251
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:23,003
It was a simple plan.
You turned it into some
252
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:25,570
weird monster-streaker thing.
253
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,529
The costume was sweltering!
254
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,661
And you wouldn't let me out
of there.
255
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:33,230
So you didn't accomplish the
mission, but you did terrorize
256
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,189
an innocent lady
in her own home.
257
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:37,234
I'm ashamed to call you my
minion.
258
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:40,542
I'm not your
minion.
259
00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:42,500
Hello!
260
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,459
Hey, it's getting late.
Where are you?
261
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:45,242
Uh, nowhere.
262
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:46,591
What does that mean?
263
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,942
Your husband's a
monster-streaker!
264
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,639
Dan, would you please be quiet?
265
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:52,119
What's a monster-streaker?
266
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:55,296
It's nothing.
Dan's just... Uh...
267
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:57,472
I did see something on the
news about a guy terrorizing
268
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:59,604
the neighborhood in
a monster mask.
269
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,476
That wasn't me.
270
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,478
Chris, what's going on?
271
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:07,221
It's, well, it's those
kids I told you about.
272
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:08,657
The fifth graders?
273
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,572
They're almost
sixth-graders.
274
00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:15,533
Good night, Chris.
Put some pants on.?
275
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,493
I know, buddy.
276
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:23,628
But, yeah, let's stop so
you can put your pants on.
277
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:30,505
Come on, we need to
plan our next move.
278
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,768
I'm thinking maybe my
next move is to pretend
279
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,422
this never happened.
280
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:37,468
Summer is over soon, the kids
will go back to school, and...
281
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:40,602
Hey, why is your
street deserted?
282
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:44,867
This doesn't look
good.
283
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,087
Ow! My foot.
284
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,524
Let's get inside. Quickly.
285
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:00,665
Chris, get up.
286
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,145
We've got to get out of here.
287
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:04,539
I can't move. Save yourself.
288
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:08,891
No! No man left beh-ahh!
289
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,198
This is the way I
always thought I'd go.
290
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:12,721
Really?
291
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:16,856
Well, I mean, they're not
zombie kids, but, basically.
292
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,901
Wallets. Now.
293
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,295
What? You're mugging us?
294
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:24,602
I blame cartoons.
295
00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:27,562
You come after us,
we come after you.
296
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:31,131
You got me? Wallets.
297
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,393
Next time you mess with us,
298
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,874
you'll lose more than your
money.
299
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,441
All right, move out!
300
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:40,009
This is why I'm never having
children.
301
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:46,015
They will regret this.
302
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:48,148
I don't see how. They're
meaner than us,
303
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,411
they have no sense of ethics
holding them back, and they
304
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,587
outmatch us in guerrilla
warfare.
305
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:55,372
So, what? You're just going
to give up and go home?
306
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:58,898
I didn't say that. I can't
face Elise like this.
307
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,769
She's already lost
respect for me because I
308
00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:02,292
wouldn't beat up children.
309
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:05,339
She can be so cruel.
310
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,166
So how do we win?
311
00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:07,732
Easy, buddy.
312
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:09,560
We sink to their level.
313
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:13,956
I don't even know
how we'd do that.
314
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,698
Wait here while I get my
hatchet.
315
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,230
Destroy it. Go nuts.
316
00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:29,450
But it's a kid's bike.
317
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:32,975
Exactly. He's going to have to
pick on someone closer to home.
318
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,369
I mean, he's not going to
walk to our neighborhood.
319
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,240
I don't know...
320
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:40,243
Think of his sad little face
when he wakes up tomorrow
321
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:42,419
morning and sees
what we've done.
322
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:44,421
That's just mean.
323
00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,684
Chris, channel your
anger.
324
00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:49,035
Remember how your
shins felt yesterday?
325
00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:50,166
Yeah...
326
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,385
And how did it feel to get
run over?
327
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:52,603
Not good.
328
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,562
And the humiliation of
being mugged by an
329
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:55,563
eleven year-old.
330
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,434
That made me mad!
331
00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:58,870
Then show it.
332
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:05,268
Let go, Chris. I suggest
on that bike.
333
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:13,973
Yesss! Yes, my evil
apprentice.
334
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:18,194
Aah! What have I become?
335
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:22,372
You have become an avatar of
Nemesis, the Greek goddess of
336
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:27,377
retribution. Welcome to
the fraternity, brother.
337
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:31,381
I won't do this anymore.
I'm not a monster.
338
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:37,866
Fine. Drive me around,
I'll do the rest. Weenie!
339
00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:54,230
Only Ninja Dave's makes lactose
free chocolate chip cookies.
340
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:55,275
Uh huh.
341
00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,712
What's wrong, buddy? We won.
342
00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:00,410
We didn't win.
Not in the moral sense.
343
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:03,065
But we won in the practical
sense, which is the only sense
344
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,632
that matters.
345
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,113
Yeah, but they're just kids.
Even if they are hooligans,
346
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,897
I don't feel good about
wrecking their bikes.
347
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:11,465
We taught them a lesson.
348
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:12,944
It takes a village, Chris.
349
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:14,207
I don't know.
350
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:14,859
How would you like it
if someone destroyed
351
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,078
your property?
352
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:19,038
KABOOM!
353
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:23,781
I guess you can answer that
question for both of us.
354
00:17:23,825 --> 00:17:26,393
Hello?
They did WHAT?!
355
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:30,658
Seriously? The lemonade stand
kids did this?
356
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:33,052
I told you they were bad kids.
357
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,228
They will all disappear.
358
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:37,534
No one will ever know
what became of them,
359
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:40,015
except maybe in a weapons
factory in North Korea, where
360
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,105
their tiny hands will be put
to work assembling-
361
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:44,063
Wait, what?!
362
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,412
They destroyed our car!
363
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:46,978
Don't you see?
364
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:49,894
I took the low road with Dan,
and look where it got us.
365
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,548
Maybe you just didn't
take it low enough.
366
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,333
That's what I've been saying!
367
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,030
Here's what I've
learned from tonight.
368
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,336
When you take the low
road,
369
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:58,294
you force the
other guy to go lower.
370
00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:00,731
And that makes you go
lower. And so on.
371
00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:03,125
That's pretty much
how it works.
372
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,388
Whoever gets lowest first, wins.
373
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:08,696
No! We're better than this.
No more destruction.
374
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:09,523
What?!
375
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:11,002
I'm not better than this!
376
00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:13,092
No destruction!
377
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:15,964
Fine. Let's give the
baby his bottle.
378
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,836
This is why the other
boys pick on him.
379
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:29,238
Go! Go, my minion.
380
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:32,546
I'm not your minion!
381
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:36,158
Well, well, well...
If it isn't the guy with no car.
382
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,029
I'm here to make peace.
383
00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:39,553
We're not interested.
384
00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:41,555
Yeah, so scram!
385
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:42,947
Moose?
386
00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:46,212
What? How come I don't get
to express my opinions?
387
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:49,476
It undermines the dramatic
effect of my statements.
388
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,130
Oh.
389
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:54,524
Look, I tried Dan's way for a
little bit, and I didn't like
390
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:55,351
myself very much.
391
00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:56,309
Huh.
392
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,614
We don't like you much, either.
393
00:18:57,658 --> 00:19:01,052
We've all done things
we regret, haven't we?
394
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,576
Nope.
395
00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:03,925
Uh-uh.
396
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:06,057
I ate a frog once.
397
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:10,279
So, let's stop treating each
other like enemies and be
398
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:14,414
friends.
399
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:15,850
Ow!
400
00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:19,201
See, mister, it's like this.
Life is a zero-sum game.
401
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:22,378
If you want something, you have
to take it from someone else.
402
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:25,599
That's not true! You can- ow!
403
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,601
Not my shins again!
404
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,603
Guys, the shins.
405
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:32,867
Ow! Stop it!
Ow!
406
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:35,217
Now I've got you!
407
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:38,916
Get him!
I want that tape!
408
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:42,703
Much better.
409
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:52,147
There it is!
410
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:55,281
And I'd just like to thank
the wonderful efforts of-
411
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:57,239
May I have the floor
for a moment?
412
00:19:57,283 --> 00:20:00,590
I'm a local resident who
has been terrorized by a
413
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:04,377
group of juvenile delinquents.
414
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:07,771
Here's footage of the Lemonade
Stand Gang throwing lemonade
415
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:14,691
on an elderly lady.... And
here's them kicking a citizen
416
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,954
unmercifully in the shins.
417
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:19,305
Is that my Timmy?!
418
00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:21,568
And if you look outside
right now, you can see them
419
00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:23,657
destroying a car.
420
00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:29,532
Timmy!
Stop that at once!
421
00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:31,621
Mom? Uh, I can explain.
422
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:34,363
Is this what you've
been doing? Vandalism?
423
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:35,930
Extortion?
424
00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:37,932
I wondered how your lemonade
stand was making a thousand
425
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:38,933
dollars a week.
426
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:39,977
Mom-
427
00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:41,152
Well, no more.
428
00:20:41,196 --> 00:20:43,851
All that money is going
to charity.
429
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,374
Nooo!
430
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:46,114
We were set up!
431
00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:47,289
It was all Timmy's idea!
432
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:53,208
I regret nothing!
433
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,818
I have to say,
Chris, you were right.
434
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,820
We didn't need to
sink to their level.
435
00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:58,822
We just needed to get smarter.
436
00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:00,911
Sorry that your car got
wrecked.
437
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:04,524
A master chess player knows
which piece to sacrifice,
438
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:05,829
and when.
439
00:21:05,873 --> 00:21:07,831
I heard that Timmy and
his goons got sent off
440
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:09,529
to military school.
441
00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:12,662
Wait, but won't they just come
back even more dangerous?
442
00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:13,794
Well, I suggested reform
school,
443
00:21:13,837 --> 00:21:15,709
but the parents
wouldn't go for it.
444
00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:16,797
Stupid parents.
445
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,234
They're what's wrong with
America.
446
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,062
Actually, when I was hiding
in that kid's closet,
447
00:21:21,105 --> 00:21:23,847
I got the sense that his
mom was involved in his
448
00:21:23,891 --> 00:21:26,720
life and really encouraging
him to succeed.
449
00:21:26,763 --> 00:21:29,592
That's the problem!
My parents had the right idea.
450
00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:36,295
They let TV raise me.
And I turned out super-duper.
451
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:40,338
Let it go.
31675
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