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1
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:21,717
Do you realize how much
trouble you are in, young man?
2
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,198
Your Honor, I don't see
what the big deal is.
3
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:28,028
You crashed your car through
the wall of a church.
4
00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:30,160
While a wedding was in
progress!
5
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:32,075
It wasn't my fault!
6
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:35,078
There was a nun crossing the
street against the light.
7
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,254
I was going to run her over.
8
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:41,780
And you were swerving to avoid
her?
9
00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,956
Yyyyyes.
10
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,654
Mmm-hmmm.
11
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:49,092
In that case, I will suspend
your sentence, in exchange for
12
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,747
forty hours of community
service.
13
00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,140
Community service?!
14
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:54,967
What has this community ever
done for me?
15
00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:56,969
Dan, no! Take the deal!
16
00:00:57,013 --> 00:01:00,930
No way!
17
00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:03,106
Have it your way.
18
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:06,849
Trial will start one week
from today, at 9 a.m.
19
00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:09,112
Could we do it a little
later? I like to sleep in,
20
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:12,115
watch some TV-
21
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:15,727
Get him out of my sight.
22
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:18,382
Let Go!
23
00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:20,254
So I drove through the
wall of a church.
24
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:22,125
What is that, a crime
all of a sudden?
25
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:25,346
Yeah. So is fleeing the
scene, resisting arrest,
26
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:27,304
and assaulting an officer.
27
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:29,132
It was a busy Sunday for you.
28
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,134
Community service
isn't so bad, Dan.?
29
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,396
You should have taken the deal.
30
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,963
It's the principle of
the thing.
31
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,357
I don't help people
willy-nilly.
32
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:41,013
Dan! Hey, thank you so much
for your help this weekend.
33
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:43,799
The shelter really appreciates
your time-
34
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:47,368
I don't know you, pal.
Back off. It wasn't me.
35
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,630
He knew your name.
36
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:52,112
Thanks for helping me
change my tire, Dan!
37
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,201
This has been
happening all week.
38
00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:56,768
People keep mistaking
me for someone else.
39
00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:58,292
Someone else named Dan.
40
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,250
Who apparently looks
just like you.
41
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,165
Hmm... Can I ask a question?
42
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:04,298
How've you been
sleeping lately?
43
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,561
Lousy. Like always. Why?
44
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:07,953
No reason.?
45
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:10,347
Just, sometimes, people do
things in their sleep.
46
00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:11,870
I once ate a pair of shoes.
47
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,698
Expensive shoes.
48
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:18,094
For the umpteenth time, I
am sorry I ate your shoes.
49
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,488
And you used half a bottle
of my good shampoo.
50
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:21,793
For dipping!
51
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:24,013
Well, I don't want to
hear this argument again
52
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,146
I'm going home.
I've got to make
53
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:33,718
some "Free Dan" t-shirts.
54
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:37,157
Oh sure, sure, always
happy to lend a hand.
55
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,202
Aww now it's just great
work you're doing down
56
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,203
at the soup kitchen, Jerry...
57
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,944
Did I leave the TV on?
58
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,902
You'd better not be
watching cartoons,
59
00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:47,123
Mr. Mumbles. They'll
rot your brains.
60
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,604
This Saturday? I'll be there.
61
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:54,957
Ooh, gotta go, Jer.
62
00:02:55,000 --> 00:03:00,832
Well, this is embarrassing.
63
00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:04,140
I figured you'd be at court
at least another hour.
64
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,228
Who are you?
65
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:06,011
Who are you?
66
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:07,056
I'm Dan!
67
00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:07,839
I'm Dan!
68
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:08,449
Stop it!
69
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:09,928
Stop it!
70
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,104
I should probably just go.
71
00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:17,719
Hey! Those are my clothes!
Stop! Clothes thief!
72
00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:21,157
Aah! Who--Who ARE you!?
73
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,203
I told you already,
I'm Dan.
74
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:29,034
The question is, who are you?
75
00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:33,213
DAAAANNNNN!!!
76
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:42,744
Where have you been?!
77
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:44,485
I said it was an emergency!
78
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,661
That's pretty much what you
say instead of "Hello."
79
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:49,751
This is not okay. I
am in crisis mode.
80
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:52,580
Notice anything different
about this place?
81
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:54,756
It... looks a little cleaner?
82
00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:57,541
Uh huh. And look
at my phone bill.
83
00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,717
I see a lot of
telephone numbers.
84
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,546
They're charity organizations.
85
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:06,028
I've gotten several "thank you"
cards in the mail just today!
86
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:08,291
Thank you Dan, for your
tireless efforts on behalf of
87
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:12,513
St. Dora's Home for Children
Who Scream Uncontrollably...
88
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,166
When did you volunteer there?
89
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:16,778
That's my whole
point! I didn't.
90
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,127
He did.
91
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:18,823
He?
92
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,217
Dan! The other Dan!
93
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,567
We have to find him and
stop him.
94
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,830
Oh. Him. Right.
95
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:29,747
"The Other Dan." The one who
looks exactly like you?
96
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,749
Not exactly! But he wears my
clothes.
97
00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:35,623
Dan, you're having a
psychotic break.?
98
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:38,582
Frankly, I'm surprised it
hasn't happened before now.
99
00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:40,280
What are you talking about?!
100
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:41,846
Look, you're under
a lot of pressure
101
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:46,068
from the trial, and on some
level you loathe yourself.
102
00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:47,809
Why would I loathe myself?
103
00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:48,810
I'm awesome!
104
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:50,725
Right, you're
awesome.?
105
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,857
You live in a rat trap
hovel, no girlfriend,
106
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:55,599
no career, and every day
you fester in a stew of
107
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:56,774
your own anger.
108
00:04:56,818 --> 00:05:00,082
Who's angry?! I'll kill you!!
109
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:04,521
So... you've created
another Dan who does nice
110
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:05,740
things for people.
111
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,437
Does that
sound like me?
112
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:11,615
No, it sounds like- "Dan."
113
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,704
Stop air quoting at me.?
114
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:16,925
There is an actual, physical
impostor out there and we
115
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:19,493
are going to make him pay.
116
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:24,019
All right, Dan. Let's go
find "Dan."
117
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:28,284
Stop saying it like that.
118
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:33,724
Um... I'll be back.
119
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:34,377
Hello?
120
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:35,857
Elise.?
121
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,162
You know that thing we always
thought would happen??
122
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,816
Well, it's happening.?
123
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:39,687
Dan has snapped.?
124
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:40,992
Wait, how has Dan snapped??
125
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:41,819
Clock tower?
126
00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:43,647
No, alternate personality.
127
00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,519
Hm. I would have
bet the other way.
128
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:48,130
Didn't we have a
contingency plan for this?
129
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,175
Sure.? You isolate him,
I'll call the shrink my
130
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,351
company uses to reprogram
131
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,874
enemy field agents.
132
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,528
Wait, they
use him for what?
133
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,051
Uh... What?
134
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,444
You dropped out for
a second, there.?
135
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:58,749
I'll see you in fifteen.
136
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,360
Sounds good. Gotta go.
137
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:07,367
We'll find this guy. Then
you'll see I'm not crazy.
138
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,325
I'm sure we will, Dan.
139
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,892
And then what?
140
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:13,938
Simple. I hit him over the head
and take my clothes back.
141
00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:17,420
Leaving the "good" Dan
nude and vulnerable.
142
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:18,552
Textbook.
143
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:21,424
Stop analyzing me!
For the last time,
144
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,861
there IS an impostor--
145
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:26,081
Dan? Is that you?
146
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:28,126
Oh, come on!
147
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:33,131
Thank you so much for
mowing my lawn last week.
148
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,742
Here, have a mint.
149
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:37,266
Lady, you can take
your mint and-
150
00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,137
Whoa, okay! Calm down.
151
00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:47,232
Ma'am, are you sure this is
the Dan who mowed your lawn?
152
00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:52,455
That's him. He spent three
hours at my house on Thursday.
153
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:55,240
Thank you, ma'am.
154
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,851
"That's him."
155
00:06:56,894 --> 00:07:00,507
She was like a hundred years
old! It doesn't prove anything.
156
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,378
Heh!? Hi, Dan.
157
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,814
Oh, what now?!
158
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,207
Hey, everybody!
159
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:08,732
Dan's here! On behalf of
the whole neighborhood,
160
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:12,127
we want to thank you for
everything you've done lately.
161
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,258
Let's hear it for Dan!
162
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:17,132
Aaaahhhh!
163
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,439
He's... modest.
164
00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:25,793
This is ridiculous.
I am not crazy.
165
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:33,975
Target is isloated.
166
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:35,759
That seemed unnecessary.
167
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,413
Sorry, old habit.
168
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:41,025
It's how we used to do it in...
the private school I went to.
169
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,288
You used to grab people
off the street?
170
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:47,162
Catholic School.
171
00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:50,513
Dr. Mettenburg, thank you for
seeing us on such short notice.
172
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:57,825
Sure. Could you please bring
the patient this way?
173
00:07:57,868 --> 00:08:05,310
Hello Dan. Tell me about
yourself.
174
00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:06,834
Are you sure about this guy?
175
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,227
He's supposed to be some
kind of miracle worker.
176
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:12,753
He gets the hardest of the
hard cases, the sickest, most
177
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,450
depraved whack-jobs-
178
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,277
Ahhhhhh!
179
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,365
Stop it!
180
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:19,150
No! What is wrong
in your brains?!
181
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:21,196
Hey, pal! If you didn't
want to know about my
182
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:25,722
childhood, you shouldn't have
asked!
183
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,811
Well thanks for
wasting my time.
184
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:30,945
While you guys were busy
playing doctor, that impostor
185
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:34,688
has had ample time to work
whatever nefarious scheme
186
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:35,993
he's concocted.
187
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,821
We're going to
help you through this, buddy.
188
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:40,650
I hate you.
189
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,478
That doctor was our best
shot, what are we going
190
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,914
to do now?
191
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,351
Well, there is a procedure,
in which the connections
192
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:48,789
of the pre frontal cortex of
the brain are severed...
193
00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:51,052
Wait, isn't that a
lobotomy?
194
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:54,577
People call it
different things.
195
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:55,970
What the--
196
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,802
I'm just saying, I realy feel
there is something in
197
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,325
there worth saving...
198
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:04,587
I don't know, Chris.
199
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,763
We might have come to the end
of the road.
200
00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:10,593
Guys! He's here!
201
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:13,074
Okay Dan, show us this
impostor.
202
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:18,427
Look in the window!
203
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:19,559
There's nobody there.
204
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:20,821
This is just sad.
205
00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:22,910
Nobody there!?
206
00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,172
Think I'm crazy?
207
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:28,742
I'll show you who's crazy.
208
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:29,960
May I help you?
209
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,440
He's real!
210
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,268
What are you doing in my
apartment?
211
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:34,704
Oh, well this is
my apartment.?
212
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:37,751
Everything that you used
to have is mine.?
213
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,187
I'm Dan now.?
214
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:42,277
You're going to have to find
yourself a new identity.
215
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,453
Why would anyone want
to be Dan?
216
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:45,846
I'm so glad you asked
that, Elise.?
217
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,588
And by the way, you don't
look anything like the
218
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:51,460
unflattering drawings Dan
has of you in his journal.
219
00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:53,027
You've been reading my
journal?
220
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,768
What does he mean, unflattering?
221
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,421
You ask "why Dan?"
222
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,119
Well, most people
have a network
223
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,730
of friends and family who
know and love them, making
224
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,993
it near impossible to steal
their identities.?
225
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:06,823
But Dan here is
off-putting and angry.
226
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,303
Off-putting?
227
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:09,652
Angry?!
228
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,915
That's just the tip
of the iceberg.
229
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,701
Tell me, what do you have
to show for your lifetime
230
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:17,312
of apathy and petty vengeance?
231
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:20,750
Well I... I have a foosball
table.
232
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,273
So I got that going for me.
233
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,362
You don't even like foosball!
234
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:26,800
He's right! I'm an
air hockey man.
235
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:29,672
You have alienated everyone
in your life except for
236
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,152
Chris and Elise.
237
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,937
And I have a feeling at least
one of them is gettable.
238
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:34,895
Attack!!
239
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,505
Let's hear him out.
240
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:38,681
What exactly do you want?
241
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,596
Oh, I've already got it.
242
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:45,340
A place to live, a television,
a kitty who loves me, ...and
243
00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:47,168
friends all over the
neighborhood.
244
00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:49,866
Friends who know me as "Dan
- the neighbor who cares."
245
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:53,957
"Dan, the neighbor who
lives in apartment 8."
246
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,873
So if you don't leave
immediately I'll be forced
247
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,222
to shoot you in self
defense.?
248
00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:01,791
Good day.
249
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:04,315
That last part sounded a little
like you.
250
00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:07,841
You have to admit, the
identity thief chose
251
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,320
his target pretty well.
252
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:11,453
As far as people that have
isolated themselves from-
253
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:12,193
Auugh!
254
00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:13,237
I don't want to hear it!
255
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,283
I'm sure this will
all work out.
256
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,980
You can stay with us until
then.
257
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,765
For no more than one week.
258
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:21,419
We've got to get that guy
out of my apartment.
259
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:24,118
I should be preparing for my
court date.
260
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:27,991
Chris, promise me, if they
send me to the calaboose-
261
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:28,862
The what?
262
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:29,950
He means prison.
263
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:33,170
If they send me away,
promise me
264
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:34,868
you'll take care
of Mr. Mumbles.
265
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:35,912
But that guy has him.
266
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:37,392
Also, smother that guy.
267
00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:38,785
I will not.
268
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:41,962
Chris will not be committing
any capital crimes, Dan.
269
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:45,966
How can you be so selfish in
my time of need?
270
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,055
All right, if you won't
help me with that,
271
00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:50,013
at least help me get
back into my apartment.
272
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:51,754
How do you plan to
do that?
273
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,930
Do you still have your
Halloween costume
274
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:55,279
from three years ago?
275
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:57,629
I never throw away a Halloween
costume.
276
00:11:57,673 --> 00:12:00,632
Wait, why?
277
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:03,723
You know, at first I
thought it was cute that a
278
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:06,508
lady cat was given the
name "Mr. Mumbles",
279
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:09,816
but now I think he just
didn't know you're a girl.
280
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:10,860
Mrow.
281
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:13,036
Ha! Ha! This is
pretty funny;
282
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:17,127
but all jokes aside, this
guy is just not well.
283
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:17,824
Mro.
284
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:21,741
Oof! Oof!
285
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,003
Hey, take it easy!
286
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:24,700
Couldn't you have gotten
into the box at the
287
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,223
top of the stairs?
288
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,530
He might have seen
us.
289
00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:29,879
Also, I'm tired.
290
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:32,055
Oof!
291
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,275
What's he doing?
292
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:36,451
Looks like he's reading
your journal and snuggling
293
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:38,670
with your teddy bear,
Brutus.
294
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:40,281
Et tu, Brutus...
295
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:47,897
Hey, Chris. Nice costume.
296
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:51,596
Uh, I'm the delivery guy.
297
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,423
No, I get it.
298
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,685
Come on!
299
00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:55,426
Hey, the mustache looks
really good on you.
300
00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:57,341
You should think about
growing one.
301
00:12:57,385 --> 00:12:58,821
Really? Thanks.
302
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,084
I assume that's Dan in the
box there?
303
00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:02,433
He's on to us.
304
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:05,959
Quick! Smother him with your
big, meaty hands!
305
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:08,744
Uh, no.
306
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,919
What's that?
307
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:12,574
Oh, nothing really.
I just made a pie.
308
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:14,924
Lil' Strawberry rhubarb magic.
309
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,143
Ooh.
310
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:16,883
D'ya know what?
311
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,275
Come on in.
312
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:21,365
I've got extra. And a whole
gallon of ice cream.
313
00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:23,759
Chris! Don't do it!
314
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:31,723
It's strawberry-rhubarb,
Dan. I'm not made of stone!
315
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:35,162
Et tu, Chris...
316
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,424
You're
eating ice cream?
317
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,426
Dan's lactose intolerant.
318
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,907
Well Chris old pal, you'll
find that these days I'm
319
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:43,170
a lot more tolerant
of everything.
320
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,258
Wow.
321
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:46,347
So how'd you get the
crust so flaky?
322
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,871
Oh, in my last identity, I was
a baker.
323
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:53,397
Pst. Mr Mumbles! Mr.
Mumbles, I need your help.
324
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:54,877
Mrow?
325
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,793
Okay, here's what
you're going to do:
326
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:02,929
Go over to fake Dan and, now
this part is very important,
327
00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:07,237
I need you to scratch
his eyes out.
328
00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,283
Scratch 'em right out of his
head.
329
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:11,285
We'll deal with Chris
later.
330
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:17,334
Godspeed, Mr. Mumbles. ...
331
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,597
et tu, Mr. Mumbles...
332
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:28,084
This isn't over, you fiend!
333
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:34,482
I'll get yo-AHHH!
...ouch... my back...
334
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:41,097
Fine! I'll show you!
I'll show both of you!?
335
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:44,013
...lousy backstabbing
no-good...
336
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:46,320
Dan, what are you
doing?
337
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,930
Get out of our bedroom!
338
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,584
Be right out!
339
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:50,933
Hi honey.
340
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,543
What do you think you're doing?
341
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:56,199
Your husband sold me out
for some lousy pie.
342
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:58,854
His identity is forfeit.
343
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,335
I happen to need an identity
while I work this thing out.
344
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:02,989
So I'm Chris now.
345
00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:03,946
No. No way.
346
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,208
Take off those clothes.
347
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,775
Oh, you.
348
00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:08,951
Why don't you make me some
dinner like a
349
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,822
good wife for once?
350
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:15,436
Ha ha ha, we have fun.
351
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:18,134
Of course, "sweetheart."
352
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,919
Why don't you sit down at
the table, and I'll bring
353
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,833
you some dinner.
354
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,270
You know something, Chris,
355
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:26,229
I've gotta come correct with
ya here, it occurs to me
356
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:29,058
that I don't appreciate you
enough.
357
00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:31,234
No no, I don't.
358
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:33,323
Um, we just met.
359
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:37,197
Don't you recognize me,
old pal? I'm Dan.
360
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,808
Exactly how stupid does
that journal say I am?
361
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:45,161
Oh, pretty stupid.
362
00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:49,557
Ugh. I can't eat any more. It's
the fourth course already.
363
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,255
What? Chris always has
this much food.
364
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:57,086
You are Chris, right?
365
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:59,045
And here's your grilled
cheese sandwich and a
366
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:00,568
glass of milk.
367
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,105
Oh no... lactose
intolerance...
368
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:18,325
Arrrhgglk!
369
00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:28,509
That disguise doesn't fool
me, I know who you are.
370
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:32,556
It's not a disguise.
It's my new identity.
371
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:36,169
I've been thinking about what
you said, and you're right.
372
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:39,999
I've spent my life alienating
and avoiding people.
373
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:44,873
I've decided to follow your
example and get a fresh start.
374
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:45,569
Really?
375
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,094
Dan's all yours.
376
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:51,358
You can call me Biff.
Biff Wellington.?
377
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,012
I... don't know what to say.
378
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:57,929
Say this: Say... we'll
be friends.
379
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,110
Thank you guys so much for
coming.
380
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,111
Who was that?
381
00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:07,200
I have no idea.
382
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:10,899
So... I don't get it.
383
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:11,813
Get what, Chris?
384
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:13,380
That you're just giving up.
385
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:16,122
The Dan I know doesn't
give up. Ever.
386
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,341
Yeah, well I'm not Dan anymore.
387
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:20,952
Biff lets stuff
go all the time.
388
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:22,476
What about all your things?
389
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:25,435
Please, you've seen
Dan's things.
390
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,263
And Mr. Mumbles?
391
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,265
Biff's more of a dog
person, really.
392
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:31,137
Wow. You're really serious.
393
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,616
Yup.
394
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:35,358
Hey, thanks for letting me
have my new friends over.
395
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:38,100
No problem, uh, Biff.
396
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,580
Oh, and I invited Dan over.
397
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:41,234
I assume that's
okay?
398
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,279
The guy who stole
your life from you?
399
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:45,934
I am officially calling
horse feathers on this.
400
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,370
Elise! Don't question
this.
401
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,937
Don't you see this is the
best thing that's ever
402
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,113
happened to me?
403
00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:53,811
I mean, other than
you.? Of course.
404
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:56,162
Because you're, uh,
you know you're...
405
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:57,598
Yeah.
406
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,382
Hello, Friends!
407
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:00,427
Hi, Dan!
408
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:04,126
Um, hi Dan?
409
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,215
There's got to be an angle
here.
410
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:07,738
I think he's serious.
411
00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:09,175
He's really changed.
412
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,655
Attention everyone!
413
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:12,787
Here we go.
414
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:15,311
I just wanted to raise
a toast to Dan,
415
00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:18,619
the newest and best addition
to the neighborhood
416
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:24,277
we've had since, well,
since I can remember.
417
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:28,672
To Dan!
418
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:32,154
Wow, I can't
believe how late it got.
419
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:35,201
I know. The time just flew by.
420
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:37,203
Well this has just
turned out swell.
421
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:39,422
A little too swell...
422
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:40,467
Ha ha ha.
423
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:43,383
Oh Elise, you are
the living end.
424
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:46,212
Ha ha ha. I'll say!
425
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:47,604
Oh, my word...
426
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:48,692
Dan?
427
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:50,694
I actually have a present for
you.
428
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,088
We better move back
a little bit.
429
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:57,092
No, no, no. It's nothing
dangerous, I promise.
430
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,182
Biff doesn't believe in
violence.
431
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:03,403
But he does believe in referring
to himself in the third person.
432
00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:05,970
As a gesture to show
you how committed I am
433
00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:10,323
to a new life, I hereby
surrender to you my,
434
00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:13,282
well, now your, birth
certificate,
435
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:16,764
social security card, and
all the various documents
436
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:20,507
needed to prove that
you are the real Dan.
437
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:23,205
See? Biff is for real.
438
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:26,295
This is exactly how it played
out in my wish journal.
439
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:27,427
Uh, huh.
440
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:29,864
No, look. He's giving
everything away.
441
00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:31,213
That proves it.
442
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:34,216
I'm touched. I'm truly touched.
443
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,479
Well, you've inspired me.
444
00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:37,567
I'll get the dishes.
445
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,700
Okay, this is just
weird.
446
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:42,529
Elise, you're so cynical.
447
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:45,662
Can't you just accept
that-
448
00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:47,273
That's him, officers!
449
00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:48,317
Hey! Wait!
450
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,492
What are you doing?
451
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,364
Dan, you are under arrest.
452
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,888
You have the right to
remain silent-
453
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:56,586
Hang on a second, this is
all a big misunderstanding.
454
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:59,241
You missed your
court date, punk.
455
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:00,938
But I'm not Dan!
456
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,157
Yes he is.
457
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:02,723
Ah.
458
00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:03,767
Now I get it.
459
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,595
Wait, what's happening?
460
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:07,336
No! Stop. Stop. Stop!
461
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:11,079
That's Dan right there!
462
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:14,604
Not me, officers.
My name is Biff.
463
00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:17,564
Biff Wellington.
464
00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:19,827
Let's see your ID.
465
00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:22,221
Listen, I-
466
00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:24,223
Not Dan, huh??
467
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:26,486
Put him the squad car.
468
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:27,835
I'll get you for this Dan!
469
00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:32,709
I'll be back, and you will
rue the day! Rue it!
470
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:34,755
Awfully sorry for the
disturbance, folks.
471
00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:36,278
But don't you worry about him.
472
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:39,020
He'll be going away
for a long time.
473
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:42,284
No worries, officer. You're just
doing your job.
474
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,112
Drive safely!
475
00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:45,505
We will.
476
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:48,508
Dan? Come back!
477
00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:51,250
Dan!
478
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:52,381
Sneaky.
479
00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:54,340
All it took was
missing a court date,
480
00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:56,516
and one phone call
to our helpful law
481
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,126
enforcement officers.
482
00:20:58,169 --> 00:20:59,475
I knew you hadn't
changed.
483
00:20:59,519 --> 00:21:00,607
Why should I change?
484
00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:04,306
I'm great. It's everyone
else who sucks.
485
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:09,746
But the new Dan made me
pie. And Biff was so nice.
486
00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:11,792
Tough noogies, turncoat.
487
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:13,315
It doesn't bother you
in the slightest that
488
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,448
someone else is going to
prison for your crime?
489
00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:18,886
Hey, you want to steal Dan's
identity, you take the bad
490
00:21:18,929 --> 00:21:20,104
with the good.
491
00:21:20,148 --> 00:21:23,282
I'm going home.
To my home.
492
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,849
I need a ride.
493
00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:34,380
Ooh! Wow. I could really get
used to this.
494
00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:41,256
Oh Come on!
34518
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