Original subtitles

[SHRIMPS] Ah...

I'm fed up with living in the West. There's dust everywhere!

I want to move to Washington. Or Boston!

¡Oh! "Meatballs", mi plato favorito.

Are you listening to me?

My love, here I am somebody, I am the mayor.

Furthermore, the West is becoming more peaceful.

[Shots]

Gunfire! Gunfire!

But don't look out, woman...

"They've killed the sheriff!" "Again?"

Mayor, come on!

I'm coming... Oh...

My love, don't go out!

Brenda, my good friend Henry Sheppard always said:

"Dialogue, dialogue." -And they killed him from behind!

-Okay... -But take the rifle.

No. I don't believe in violence.

¡Oh...!

[Western music]

Bad luck.

This "sheriff" didn't last long for you either.

As usual, nobody saw anything, of course.

I have the solution to so much citizen insecurity:

You're going to make Handsome Mike the "sheriff".

No way, Tony. At Mountpine View we've always chosen

to our "sheriff" democratically. Always.

Sometimes democracy has to be suspended.

"Murderer!" "They've killed the mayor!"

Mountpine View is a lawless town!

Yes, there is a law.

Mine. [CRIES UNCONSOLIDATEDLY]

Let's go.

[Melancholic music]

I call God to witness that I will avenge your death,

Even if it's the last thing I do!

We're going to have to hire a gravedigger here, huh?

[Shots]

¡Mountpine View, oh my...!

# Here in my wagon #

# I'm looking for "gachinas". #

# We eat doy mandanga, we eat pongo fina. #

Oh my! [LAUGHS] Hey!

[Western music]

Hey! What's up, guys?

[SILBA]

¡So, so!

"Parked!" Come on, let's collect.

That's a good sheriff!

[LAUGHS] [SIGHS]

Adam Rivers, bounty hunter.

I'll bring you these two.

There's a price on their heads,

But come on, I'll bring them to you whole.

No, no, I'm not the "sheriff", I'm his deputy.

The sheriff was killed. We're on a bad streak...

And now who's going to pay me?

Okay, I'm going to lie down, otherwise I won't get my 13 hours of sleep.

I am not a person.

Mira...

-Come on, get up, we're not getting paid. -Joe...!

So let's have a drink, shall we?

Oh my!

¡Fruit! ¡"Saloon" a doble altura!

Boss! "Whisky" here.

-Two whiskeys coming right up. -[COCKROACH] Three, three!

Oh, sorry, sorry.

Oh, three "whiskies".

So, what brings you to Mountpine View?

-Pleasure or business? -Uh... Business, business...

Girls, strangers!

Let's get down to business! Where's Christine?

Talking to her boyfriend.

We're getting married, we're moving to Oklahoma, where they're giving away land,

We set up our farm, we have children...

-All you want is free sex. -No, I love you.

[MENCHU] Cristine! Let's get to work!

I'll get you out of here, you whore!

Martin, respect my profession, okay?

Christine!

Mom, you're making it harder for us every time, aren't you?

-I'm going to give you "slim filipin". -I'll take "segun"!

-But first you have to take a bath. -Come on, come here. Here we go.

Excuse me, sir...

Have you stopped to think if Miss

Does he/she want to have sex with you?

Well, let's see...

She's a whore.

Therefore, it is a flawed consent.

Huh?

Prostitution is an attack on dignity.

a violation of human rights

and incompatible with equality between men and women.

Only yes means yes. [CHISTA]

Do you want me to give you the stuff or not?

I want to go to New York and be an actress.

-Well... -Not an actress!

One day you're here, the next you're gone!

Leave me alone with my sleep!

You have to inherit the family business!

-Come on, throw it up! -Ah, no, no, no, no.

This gentleman is right, it's very ugly.

Besides, if I come back exhausted from the wagon.

I'm going to take a nap.

Sex is overrated.

I can't tell you, I'm a virgin.

Well, little by little we are making a fairer West.

[Shout]

[Western music]

You're going to ruin my business... Come on.

Hey, Mississippi tributaries!

Eh... Little Tony.

I have no idea. But why do you always have to ask me?

Suspended.

Well, my father is going to shoot you four times.

Miss Gretchel, your husband has been shot!

[CHISTA] We're in class!

That?

¡Steven!

Now we are without a "sheriff" and without a bank manager.

Who was it?

Has anyone seen it?

A cattle rustler has come in to ask him for a loan.

and he told him he had to send it to risk management

And the other one shot him point-blank. Right?

[MEN] Yes, yes, yes.

We're running out of men!

Who are we going to appoint as "sheriff"?

Me! Me, me, me, me, me! Mayor, mayor, me, me!

-You? -I want you to admire me.

-And save up for our farm. -How tiresome, always going on about your farm.

I'm measuring you up...

In short, we're not going to use much wood.

Martin Cooker,

I appoint you "sheriff",

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit", amen.

"Find my husband's killer." "Yes, yes, find him."

And be careful.

You have Calamity Fine in the dungeon,

a very dangerous outlaw.

What if we hang her? It's cheaper.

The "rangers" from Washington have to come and get her.

She is being sought in seven states. We don't know why she came to town.

-I interrogate her. -Martin!

-Be careful! -Relax.

Many things are going to change in Mountpine View.

[Western music]

A bet, let's see how long it lasts?

Hello?

[Suspenseful Western music]

¿Calamity Fine?

[Music stops]

I'm Martin Cooker, the new "sheriff".

Pleased to meet you, "sheriff".

[Suspenseful Western music]

What has brought you to Mountpine View?

If I tell you, I'd have to kill you.

Well...

I'm going to do it anyway.

Do you have a family?

No... Not yet.

Better.

Don't talk to her, she's the devil incarnate.

Mayor, you're going to die too!

"You're evil and a whore!" "Come on, come on..."

Brian, you're going to be in charge of taking the cattle to the pastures.

to get through the winter.

What pastures? This is a desert.

Look for pastures. There has to be something.

Do I really have to carry 500 heads by myself?

No. My future son-in-law will be accompanying you.

who doesn't lift a finger.

I'm not going to marry him, he's too old.

Shut up. Simon!

¡Simon!

-Yes, boss... -Yes.

Are you going with Brian to look for pasture?

to the great plains.

Man...!

-¡El puto Brian Quinn! -¡Ey! ¡Simon Harnett!

Do you know each other?

We like to fish together.

-How are you? -Here, preparing for my wedding.

I like Handsome Mike.

Oh, my little girl has turned out to be quite rebellious.

Come on, move along!

Bring back the fat cattle and pregnant cows!

Tony. We're having problems with the railway works.

¡Oh...!

Hi, Mike...

-July... -Don't you dare mess around with my henchmen!

Okay, so what happens now?

[Western music]

[The music continues]

They should have reached the Barranco del Muerto,

But they're still here. -These Indians are so lazy.

Come on, you lazy bums!

We must bring the railroad to the Pacific!

Cows are your thing, boss.

Mike, you're being really negative. You're bringing me down!

Okay, where's Big Chief Mad Goat? Tell me.

-There. Let's go. -Come on!

[The music continues]

Don't arrive, iron horse.

But how will the iron horse arrive if you don't advance?

They're laying the tracks crooked, boss.

All your men are completely drunk!

Ah, yesterday was my birthday.

I invite the tribe to the fire water.

Ah... Me, Great Chief, great migraine.

Look, I'm going to California to get Chinese people.

You'll see how quickly they finish this!

[SHOUTS] Should I kill him, boss?

That...

Let's go.

Jebediah, you have found a nugget of gold.

Give me something beautiful, come on.

And don't mess with me... You bought her an umbrella!

I'm photosensitive. I can't stand the Arizona sun.

And you gave her the Apache pendant.

And on and on about the Apache pendant.

You like her more than we do because she's younger.

None of you have given me offspring!

Well, maybe it's your problem.

A childless Mormon, where has that ever been seen?

-Okay... -Stop at the store, I want a corset.

"And I'll have some petticoats!" "We're Mormons, not spendthrifts."

[THEY ARGUE]

So. Look,

It's over.

-You take the nugget... -Ah...!

...you buy whatever you want, and I'm going to the "saloon".

"That's a den of iniquity." "Leave him be, it'll keep him entertained."

[Western swing music]

Since when do Mormons drink whiskey?

Put it down, put the bottle down.

"You look handsome, Jebediah." "What have you done to your beard?"

What do you want? [LAUGHS]

"Don't you want to have a good time?" "No, no more women, please."

[Western music]

[MENCHU] ¡Tony!

How long...

-What can I get you? -A Cola Cao.

No lumps! And let's see if we can renew the little whores.

Don't worry, I have a surprise prepared for you.

[MEXICAN ACCENT] Rifles, revolvers, and guns for sale!

Rifles, dynamite!

Top brands! I carry Winchester, Colt,

The Smith & Wesson Model 29 is John Dillinger's favorite.

and hollow-point bullets!

And I've got machetes, two for one!

Come on, you idiots, they're snatching them right out of my hands!

Please, please...

I need a revolver, I've been widowed.

Ah, you sons of bitches.

But don't worry, gringa, I have what you need.

Colt 45, also known as The Peacemaker.

And from now on, he can be your best friend.

-But does it shoot well? -This?

Awesome.

[Shouting]

They were without a sheriff, weren't they?

I'll take it.

Fresh from New Orleans,

with all of you

the great star

Catalina Cardinal!

Applause! Here we go.

[FRENCH ACCENT] Thank you, dear audience

of this charming little town

mangy Midwesterner!

¡Mountpine View!

What are you saying? I can't hear you...

I am Catalina Cardinale

And I bring you a "show"

with which I have triumphed on every stage in Paris!

In what century?

[Laughter]

Music, maestro!

[Western swing music]

But what is this?

-Should I kill her, boss? -Wait,

Let's see how the can-can goes.

Adeline, lift your leg higher!

I can't get it, ma'am!

[YAWNS] They've ruined my nap.

Yes!

-This bullshit is over! -[VICTORIA] Hicks, yokels!

Get out of my town, you grotesque crane!

I have performed in front of Abraham Lincoln himself!

[LOGI] Nothing, there's no way to end the "show" in any town.

[Suspenseful Western music]

Who wants to play poker with me?

Well, me!

Conchita...

I warned you never to set foot in Mountpine View again.

What's wrong with you, gringo? Are you afraid of losing to a woman?

Tony Strong doesn't know what fear is.

-Anything to drink here? -Whiskey for everyone!

Speak for yourself, dude... Where's that tequila, ma'am?

That's more expensive because it's imported.

I wish I could say I've played poker

with Mike the Handsome and Tony Strong.

Sit down, stranger.

And what about me?

Me too, dude, but I don't know your name.

-Conchita Coletas. -Ah.

Revolutionary and "trafficker".

Adam Rivers, bounty hunter.

Tony Strong, rancher, I don't clean stables. Okay!

The revolver where I can see it.

Look, the handsome one...

There you go!

Deal the highest card.

Good heavens.

Revolutionary, we've given you a real beating.

You stole California from us, and then you stole Texas from us...

But we'll get back every inch, you idiot.

-Oh...! Me, an idiot? -Come on, don't argue,

You've already wrecked my place four times this year.

And they've raised my insurance.

-Come on! Are you delivering or what? -I'm going.

-You're getting on my nerves! -I'm coming, I'm coming.

I open with 50.

I see them.

There will have to be 100.

Okay, fine.

Here they go.

[Suspenseful Western music]

Of the.

-Three. -[LAUGHS] "Loser".

Served.

Me, two.

Hundred.

Hundred...

And another 100.

Okay then.

There they go... 200 "dollars".

Go ahead.

"Full" of sevens and tens.

Pair of queens.

[THEY LAUGH]

Four of a kind. [LAUGHS]

-Oh... -Stop, stop, stop right there, Tony.

Look. You ate it. All for me.

[LAUGHS]

-You cheated. -Me? No way, no way.

Draw your weapon.

Huh? What for? It's already drawn, handsome.

No, no, no. I'm leaving, I don't want any trouble.

[Muffled screams]

Oh my.

Go on, buddy, you screwed him over!

They've killed Handsome Mike!

No, no! It was an accident!

Stranger, you will die in terrible suffering!

There you go, that...!

What's going on here? I'm so pissed off!

Seriously... It really went through the roof.

You tell that to the judge.

We don't have it, he was killed last month.

Well, then... Wait there and see what we do.

-You couldn't be any dumber, seriously. -Mom!

But I swear to you, it was an accident.

You were supposed to get me out of here, not come in yourself.

Now how do we rob the bank? You idiot!

They're taking the money to Tombstone tomorrow!

[CRIES AND BABBLES]

"Up" and "down" in the wagon!

One of these days I'll hand you over to the Apaches, who are eager to get their hands on you.

Mom, what did I know about Luna Menguante being a virgin?

And where is the rest of the band?

[COCKROACH] Here, boss!

How are things in there?

What do you think? You're a bunch of idiots.

Get some dynamite and blow up the wall!

Conchita Coletas has it, but it's too expensive for us.

We have a plan: tonight I'm going to try to seduce her.

But who are you going to seduce, "wretch"?

I have my audience, you know?

"My shoulders are getting tired." "Silence!"

You're going to do what I tell you!

[Western music]

When were you planning to tell me you were getting married?

It's all happened very quickly.

Have you slept with her?

Her father won't let me until after the wedding.

He's a stale person.

Sometimes I miss you so much

I don't think I'll be able to handle it.

Oh, Brian, don't start, please...

Let's run away together. Let's start over, far away.

What are you saying?

We took the 500 head of cattle north and set up a ranch,

quiet...

Tony Strong would find us.

I've heard about a place in California, San Francisco,

which is "gay friendly". -[SHOUTS] No, no...

It has a lot of hills. -No, but they've already put in a tram.

-Oh, I don't know, I don't see it. -Man, everything's so difficult!

Do you really love me?

Of course I love you,

But what we have is impossible.

I have a life, and so do you.

But what if you have two children?

One day, a long time from now,

people like you and me

she will be able to get married.

For now, they just want to lynch us.

[Western music]

[The music continues]

[The music stops]

[Relincho[

[HONORS]

[Suspenseful Western music]

[Music stops]

¡Mama!

-Hey, bastards! -Let's go!

Mom, wait! What about me?

Stay there, so you can learn!

Hey, you bastards!

[Door]

Hello?

[Suspenseful Western music]

¡Socorro! ¡"Sheriff"! ¡Socorro! ¡"Sheriff"! ¡Socorro!

You've killed my best man.

-And the most handsome one. It's just... -Well, let's see...

"I didn't think he was that handsome." "Do you want to save your skin?"

-Well, yes, that would be perfect. -Then work for me.

-You've got balls. -Well, actually I only have one.

At a rodeo, a bull ripped it off me.

-I was... -Do you accept or not?

I don't know... How much do you pay? Are there vacations?

Vacation? What's that?

I offer you $80 a month.

-Half-day, 12 hours. -Okay, let me think about it.

What are you thinking? That they're going to kill you, you melon!

-Choose, silver or lead? -I trust in justice.

I will prove my innocence!

[Suspenseful Western music]

-Tell me if it's too tight, okay? -Well...

¡Adam Rivers!

For first-degree murder

You are condemned to die by hanging!

You haven't put me on trial or anything.

-You've been convicted by a jury. -You son of a bitch!

There was one handsome guy in town!

You'll burn in hell! You lout!

-Whore! -Uh!

And why does it matter to you so much?

I can replace Miki. I've got enough stuff for everyone...

Hang it up already, man, we don't have all day!

Father, please comfort her soul.

-Go on, the other one. -Let's pray.

Let us pray.

[SPEAKS IN LATIN]

[CONTINUES SPEAKING IN LATIN]

My God... [CONTINUES SPEAKING IN LATIN]

[COCKROACH] I have the rope within reach, should I shoot now or add more excitement?

He should be hanged, for being a fool.

A son is always a son, boss.

[CONTINUES SPEAKING IN LATIN]

I don't want to die... I really don't want to die!

I should have thought of that before. [SPEAKS IN LATIN]

What does he say? [CONTINUES SPEAKING IN LATIN]

-Of course... -Could you shorten it, Father?

-Just a little... -Pull the lever now!

[FATHER] What haste, what thirst for blood. [SPEAKS IN LATIN]

Amen.

Okay, that's it.

George! Whenever you want.

No, no, not me, because then I have nightmares.

Take it away, take it away.

[Suspenseful Western music]

Do you have any last words?

I shit on your fucking mother!

When I say so, boss.

Just a little more, just a little more.

You're pushing it too far, Calamity.

¡Mama!

Now!

[Shouting]

-They killed the sheriff! -Martin!

¡Martin! ¡Oh, Martin!

But how do you aim, you wretch!

-This rifle is faulty. -You kept the receipt, right?

¡Martin!

I'm sorry...

I just wanted

make you

Happy. He's dying, huh? He's dying.

Damn, men are something else, aren't they?

Lots of promises, lots of promises, and then nothing.

Okay, so what do we do with this one?

You can't hang me without a sheriff!

-That's the law. -Jesus... Why so much violence?

I'm going for the shovel.

[Western music]

[FATHER] "'Let us pray and supplicate'".

"Our Lord Jesus Christ,

a priori, alma mater, case of war, trembling delirium, behold man,

We have a Pope, roughly speaking, made in memory of him,

slip of the tongue, mea culpa, memento mori, motu proprio,

per capita, first works, after death, what for what,

The rigors of death, thus passes, the glory of the world." Amen.

Joe, it's so hot.

No sheriff again. Who do we put in now?

George, you are our last hope.

No, no... I'll bury whoever falls. Keep a low profile.

¡Jebediah!

"I just don't believe in violence." "You're a coward."

[CHISTA] Leave him alone, he has to find us some nuggets.

I just don't understand what we saw in you, huh?

Will you leave me alone already? I can't take it anymore! Huh?

I can't take it anymore!

-He's really gotten into it. -You can't even talk to him.

Hey, why don't we name Adam Rivers "sheriff"?

Why is he condemned to death?

But he has faced the evil Tony Strong.

How many people have done that?

¿Yo "sheriff"?

Two hundred dollars. Horse and roof.

This is a truly dramatic turn of events.

Do you accept or not?

-Can I think about it? -Think about it? Think about what?

-It's that or the gallows. -No, no, "sheriff", "sheriff". [LAUGHS]

-I look at you and I calm you down! [LAUGHS] -Come on, come here,

I hereby appoint you "sheriff".

[DESGANADA] "Father and Son and Holy Spirit", amen.

You're pretty strong, huh?

Yes, yes, yes, yes... There's no doubt about it.

[Western music]

Oh, Adam! Oh, Adam!

-Olé! -Adam!

-That's the "happy widow"! -Oh, Adam!...

Yija! Yija! [SCREAM]

Sorry, sorry...

[Music continues]

I caught the governing bodies meeting.

Oh...! A breastplate bodice, I'm dying!

Oh!

Jebediah, buy it for me!

No, no, buy it from me, it won't fit you.

Jebediah, this is the umbrella I was talking about, you Mormon rat.

Hey, you don't listen to us at all, huh? Then you wonder why we don't give you children.

Oh, my time has passed.

-I have cluster headaches. -You're making a big deal out of nothing.

[THEY ARGUE]

Rifles, revolvers for sale,

rifles, dynamite, rattlesnake venom,

scorpions, very much alive and very angry,

worm liquor, lizard liquor,

Cactus air freshener for your cart...!

Can?

Please, sir.

Okay, that's it, I'm off for drinks. Alright.

I don't usually do these things.

-No, no, me neither. -But I felt so lonely

ever since the evil Tony Strong murdered my husband.

No, I'm here to serve, protect, and give it my all.

[Shots]

Gunfire! Gunfire!

-But go out and see! -Huh?

"Sheriff!" Jebediah has gone mad!

[Western music]

[Shouting]

Look at him! How he loves to attract attention.

My son, anger is not the way!

[Burst]

Spartacus!

"Parked!" [LAUGHS]

[SIGH] What peace.

Bravo, bravo ese "sheriff", bravo!

Thank you, thank you!

The Lord has sent us a champion of justice!

What great chocolate.

Neighbors, I promise you that I will transform this town

in a safe space "for everyone"!

¡Bravo!

I would like to thank you personally.

Since my Steven was murdered, I feel

so unprotected...

"Na", we're here "for" whatever is needed.

Okay.

-You're really strong... -Uh... [LAUGHS]

[Western music]

Doesn't your wife find it strange when we go fishing together?

And we come back after a week without having caught anything?

It's missed a little, to be honest.

This doesn't make any sense, Simon.

-They're going to catch us. -No way.

Don't you get that feeling when you're in town?

Why are they looking at you and do they know what you are?

Speak for yourself, you can't tell from me at all.

Oh, so now it's me?

Brian, you've got a bit of a flamboyance, haven't you?

-Well, you... -Excuse me, I'm very macho.

"Macha", "macha", but you duck.

[The music intensifies]

Excuse me... Are you okay?

Oh...!

Do you want to stay still?

In the end, we're going to hurt each other!

I'm leaving. I can't stand you.

[Music stops]

¡Brian!

Where are you going? There are bears!

They're definitely more affectionate than you!

[Dramatic Western music]

Well, there's going to be rabbit left over.

[The music continues]

Hi, Brenda.

"What do you want, Tony?" "An answer!"

What did my brother have that I don't?

We were twins!

Your brother was a good person.

Not like you! That's why you're alone!

Excuse me, I have friends all over the West! Don't you?

Killer!

You will pay for your crimes!

It doesn't look like it, does it?

Look, I stand by my offer, but of course,

You're getting older. It's for a limited time only.

I'd rather die than be in your arms! [SPITS]

That's what I was going to say, a woman alone, defenseless,

in a town without a "sheriff"...

We are not without a "sheriff".

I just nominated Adam Rivers.

That?

And I have to say that it's a...

great professional.

Yes!

[Western music]

I don't usually do these things.

Me, occasionally.

I feel so alone ever since my Steven was murdered.

Yes, yes.

Did you sneak up on my son's teacher?

No, no, no, no. He asked me to give them

some road safety classes at school.

As every year, there are more cars.

You chose to work for the mayor

before me. -Well, let's see. I see it as more stable.

Stable? [THEY LAUGH]

If I don't laugh, neither will you.

How long do you want to live, Adam Rivers?

Let's see, about 80, 85 years old, but doing well, eh?

With health, but not just any way.

Look, you lousy thing...

If you want to stay alive,

You have two hours to leave my town.

Oh!

What if I don't feel like it?

You will suffer the wrath of Tony Strong.

Two hours and I'll be back for you.

[Bells]

-Well, it's been a pleasure. -But don't touch it, why are you touching it?

I'm removing the plate for the next one.

Get the hell out of here!

How can you be so sure I'm going to leave?

No, because of staying alive and all that.

I need a drink.

I need to think.

¡Ah...! ¡Dorothy!

This is cheap, low-quality stuff, huh?

Well, if you want good "whisky", go to Scotland!

This...

Ah...

Mom! What are you doing here? I thought you were on the other side of the Mississippi.

Congratulations, "sheriff", you've finally done something right.

We robbed the bank this afternoon. [CHISTA]

You take that half-witted assistant of yours.

And you take him to see the Indians, to see what they have to say.

And we take advantage and pull off the heist.

-[CHISTA] Calla, calla. -Calamity,

The bank is under 24-hour surveillance.

by two men from Tony.

Poor things, they must be exhausted.

Idiots, they keep changing them.

And I think there are shooters on the rooftops.

Well, come up with something, damn it, because I have to do everything!

Let's go to the toilet, things always happen there.

Uh... Mom, let's see...

There's a problem.

I'm enjoying being a "sheriff".

That?

People respect me, I'm finally somebody.

You're a criminal, you brainless idiot! What have I ever taught you?

Mom, please don't rob that bank.

"I don't know how to do anything else." "You were very good at crocheting."

Shut up! You'll do what I say, because I'm your mother.

I owe this plaque to this town.

[Soft Western music]

If I'm there and I have to kill you,

I won't like it.

But I'm warning you:

if it's between you

or any wretch

whose wife you are going to make a widow...

Mama,

You're going to die.

There is another side to that coin.

Whatever happens,

You're not going to get in my way.

You are my son, yes,

But I won't hesitate for a second.

Maybe

Whatever happens.

Or maybe we'll never see each other again.

Why have you become obsessed with that bank?

-Go somewhere else, Mom... -He keeps his money there

Tony Strong,

The man who murdered your father. -Ah...!

But hadn't he been run over by a herd of bison?

Your father asked Tony for a loan to buy a car.

"Convertible"?

-I don't remember. -Oh.

Well, your father had already been kicked out of the ranch.

because his cows kept escaping.

The truth is that they were smarter than him.

-Oh. -He asked to postpone the debt

And Tony told him there was no rush.

But when your father turned around,

He shot him three times in the back.

Tony's a son of a bitch!

But why?

Nobody pays Tony Strong late.

Well, he told me that either I leave town

Or he'll riddle me with bullets. -Well, you'll see what you do.

You face him like a man or you run away like a rat.

betraying your father's memory,

Raymond Rivers.

[SHOOTS] Damn, what pressure.

[BRUNO] I'm coming back,

but only because it's true that there are bears.

[Western music]

-Time to go, cowboy. -When will we see each other again?

In November.

And until then, nothing?

I have to get married,

to build my house, to have children...

We could have had a good life, Simon,

But you didn't want to. -Here we go again.

And now we only have this mountain!

I can't see you a couple of times a year.

"I have to learn to let you go." "Why don't you let me?"

If I'm like this, it's because of you!

I am nothing... I am lost...

No, don't touch me, don't touch me.

I can't take it anymore...

I can't take it anymore...

Forgive me, I can be a real pain sometimes.

You know what I'm saying?

Screw Tony Strong. Screw them all.

I love you!

Let us proclaim our love to the world!

But they're going to lynch us.

Let them lynch us.

But together.

¡Jebediah!

Get up.

You're free. Your women have paid the bail.

What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Moving.

Please! Please!

[MAITE] Jebediah, we have to make dinner!

[CHUSA] And pray, because we haven't prayed!

If you kick me out, I'll kill someone to get back in.

-You'll go to the gallows... -Well, look, that's not such a bad option either.

But is having three wives really so bad?

3 wives, 3 mothers-in-law, 14 brothers-in-law... It's unbearable.

If hell exists, it can't be worse.

Look, here, my last nugget.

Oh my. Is it good?

I had to swallow it and screw it up so they wouldn't catch me.

It's because when I come back from the river they search me.

My God, you're a Mormon turd.

Oh well... I'll see what I can do. [LAUGHS]

-Do you want a face-to-face meeting? -No, no, no!

[LAUGHS] Just kidding, you scared yourself, huh?

You've screwed up, Jebediah!

Is he an idiot?

Oh my!

Look, Jebediah has to stay.

I just received a cable from Houston, Texas.

"The Marshals are coming for him." "For firing four shots into the air?"

-Come on, man! -But he hasn't hit anyone.

Jebediah, come out here right now!

[AGUSTÍN] No, I have to pay for my crimes!

Boss! The evil Tony Strong and his gang!

[THEY SHOUT]

[Suspenseful Western music]

They're coming... They're coming...

Sheriff, your time's up! Come out if you're a man!

I'm thinking maybe I should have left, you know.

Can you stay still for a moment?

[BERTA] They're going to kill the new "sheriff"!

No, in the end they're going to leave us without any men in the village, you'll see.

[YOLI] What's the problem, you stupid bitches

That bunch of stinking bastards are good for nothing.

They just want to screw us over. And we don't need them!

What do you mean, no? My business is going under.

Oh, if we run out of men, I'm going to New York.

And we could be in charge! If we know how to shoot,

We know how to handle cattle, and how to extract gold from the mine,

We know how to kill the Indian... We know everything!

"Men are stronger." "Ours isn't. He's a wimp."

"Sheriff!" Come on, man, it's so hot in here...

Please!

We give birth, ladies.

And they get shot in the foot

And off they go crying like little children.

But what would the plan be?

Well, the plan would be for us to rob the bank.

keep Tony Strong's wool

and kick those sons of bitches out of town.

And start our own feminist revolution!

I was expecting applause here, to be honest.

No, the peppers are right, aren't they?

[CHISTA] Let's get them!

Let's go! Let's go!

[Suspenseful Western music]

Here I am, Tony!

Well, it's about time!

Very brave, huh? Three against one.

-Is that better? -My name is Adam Rivers!

You killed my father!

Prepare to die!

Your mother lied to you!

I am your father!

As?

-Dad! [SOBS] -No, man, no.

How could I be the father of a lout like you?

You believe everything!

You've played with my feelings, Tony.

Now you're really going to pay!

Come on, shut up! And draw your weapon!

[The music intensifies]

[Music stops]

-You failed! -And so did you, loser!

I don't understand it, with that big head of yours.

We're very far away.

Come on, five steps forward... Oh...!

[Suspenseful Western music]

[Music stops]

"Hey, your strides are longer!" "But what's it to you?"

If I approach, you approach too.

-It's better for you too. -Uh...

Okay... Come on, draw your weapon!

[Suspenseful Western music]

[Music stops]

I shit on the...

How awful they are...

[YOLI] Quick, my friends!

"What are you doing here?" "A feminist robbery!"

Excuse me, I'm a feminist. And don't appropriate my words.

But let's not fight amongst ourselves.

"We have to stick together, ladies!" "One thing..."

If it's a feminist robbery, what are these two doing here?

[THEY HAMMER THE WEAPONS]

-I feel like a woman. -Yes, yes, I'm going to transition.

Fuck...

-But let's see... -How embarrassing.

-So what do we do now? -How should I know?

-Come on, go ahead, kill him yourselves. -No, no, wait, wait, wait.

Tony. Tony, please wait a moment.

What if we give each other a hug and make peace?

Me, soften up? I'm Tony Strong, I've got a reputation...

-¡Venga, liquidadlo! -¡No, Tony, Tony! ¡Tony!

[Shots]

"They're robbing the bank!" "Oh! My money!"

[Western music]

Drop those bags, you filthy bitches! You're surrounded!

[Music stops]

[Shot]

-These ones are right. -But how do they do it?

Are you not going to shoot an unarmed man?

Run, gringo! Run for your life!

[BERTA] Stay still! It's mine!

Listen, listen, listen... You're not listening!

No, no, don't kill me, I haven't traveled!

[Suspenseful music]

I'm not like you.

Neither we nor you.

[Music stops]

Get out of here and never come back.

All men, out of the village right now!

Me too? I'm nice.

And I'm the "sheriff" and I've got something for everyone.

[SHOUTS] Okay, okay, we're leaving now!

You're coming with me to rob stagecoaches.

But, Mom, if I can't hit Tony Strong from a meter away,

-Am I going to give you a ride? -You're worthless!

But don't slap me, man, Mom.

-And you're coming with me. -I'm naming you my henchman!

-But what are the conditions? -Half a day, 12 hours.

Well, we're alone now!

[CHEER] Well, let's celebrate with tequila!

Mountpine View residents, we have something to tell you.

We are homosexuals!

-Oh, Dorothy... -"Allies" either.

"You went too far with the homophobia!" "Bah..."

Look, I don't understand.

Do you let the biggest bastard go and get rid of the nice ones?

Okay, okay, we need to refine the policies.

that this whole feminism thing is very new.

The important thing is that Mountpine View is now a town of women.

No... There is still one man left.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm very happy here with my Bible...

As long as you give me three meals a day...

I am a simple man.

-Okay, we'll leave him there. -Yes. He's not bothering us.

[MAITE] Jebediah, this is abandonment of home!

[CHUSA] You're throwing us into your arms

another man's! [Door slams]

May God have mercy on him...

Oh...

Tony Strong desterrado...

Everything I do is going badly.

One little thing just came to mind. Where are we going?

And what do I know? Can't you see I'm in shock?

Are we crossing the border into Mexico?

Yeah, man, it's hotter. I'm fed up with dust.

I want to go to the sea. To the Caribbean!

My dream is to buy a small boat and go fishing.

Are you a fishmonger? I don't see you.

Tony Strong, wholesaler, doesn't clean fish. Sounds good.

[Western music]

# The chicken, the chick, the chicken. #

# The chicken is so delicious. # [HUMS]

Do you have to sing?

No, nothing, just to liven up the journey.

You know, George?

This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

I don't know... I don't like you very much.

Oops, you've already spoiled the ending!

Stranger, you're going to die among...! [THEY LAUGH]

This is...

It's so they can give us some money at the hotel.

Conchita, I warned you

that you never set foot in Mountpine View again.

[THEY LAUGH] What's wrong with you, gringo?

[SPEAKS IN LATIN]

[LAUGH] Sure, sure.

Fuck.

I look at you and calm you down. [LAUGHS] Look, I could have left earlier.

Louse-ridden, if you will...

[THEY LAUGH]

-Do you want a face-to-face meeting? -No! No, no, no, no!

Just kidding, "loser"! You fell for it, Delebiah!

[THEY LAUGH]

Holy shit, dude. He's done it 20 times and he's laughing.

Debejiah.

[THEY LAUGH] From there! Stay still, stay still!

[LAUGHS] He's gone over there!