Original subtitles

[Series theme song]

[MARTIN LEE] "Although the causes are unknown,

It is not ruled out that the two corpses found in Zegurola

have been victims of food poisoning."

"This periodical has attempted without success"

to get in touch with the man already dubbed the 'chef of death'."

Nobody has called me!

The important thing is that they talk about you. "Free marketing".

"Chef of Death"? What am I, Hannibal Lecter?

Nobody reads the newspaper anymore.

-It's the digital version! -Ah. That one, yes.

Look, a customer.

What can I get you, Logi?

A little honey with lemon to take with you.

The Marchioness woke up with a lump in her throat.

-She won't be able to sing tonight. -Look, here's some good news.

Cris's inspection and now, this.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

That's the evil eye.

Do you want me to do an energy cleansing for you?

No need, Logi. Thank you.

-Friend's price, one hundred euros. -No way.

Welcome to Zegurola!

Would you like breakfast or should we go straight to brunch?

Martin Zegurola?

Segurola, with S.

The zeta is for cachet.

Bring me health records,

operating permits, licenses,

food safety training certificates,

occupational health reports...

An inspection? Already?

Seriously, look at how upset they are over two deaths, huh?

-¡Martín! -Sí.

Honey, I can't right now, the health inspector is here.

Would you like something to drink?

Better not.

The water is great, isn't it?

We have a super expensive filter that filters everything:

metals, bacteria, lime, microplastics...

-The papers, please. -Yes.

I'm in a hurry.

Martin, there is a huge amount of humidity in the bathroom.

-Call the plumber. -Honey, you call him.

-I can't right now. -You have to call.

Husbands take care of those things.

such as workshop inspections, hanging shelves...

I take Lucia to the pediatrician

or I buy school supplies at the last minute.

-Each to their own. -Yes, but I can't right now.

Okay, fine. Then I'll do it. Take your daughter.

Here is your vaccination record.

The one from the Health Department is inside. Don't leave it at school.

Because the last few hours after the vaccine...

Okay, okay, okay, I'll call the plumber.

Very well, then we're leaving, Lucia.

Equipazo, cariño.

Okay, I'll let you have it for 70.

The papers, right?

I want to blow all my money before I die, you know?

Yes. Don't you have any children?

That's why I want to melt it down.

And when will you make the deposit?

Look, we're not going to pay for the whole floor at once.

-What do you mean no? -No, look, let me explain.

A reverse mortgage is a monthly payment

which he will continue to collect until his death,

depending on the value of the property and your age.

So, if I die tomorrow, will you get my house for free?

Well, okay.

And how do I know you haven't poisoned me?

with the glass of water you brought me?

Well, that's not our policy.

Bastards!

We should set the bank on fire

for abusing a poor, defenseless old woman like me.

Disgusting!

What a scam the reverse mortgage is!

What a con artist!

For that, it's better to sell and rent anywhere.

Me, with a landlady? Impossible, I'd kill her.

Girl, then there's no solution.

Poor my whole fucking life, it's unbelievable.

[CHISTA] Hey!

What do you do with that?

The first interior left is for sale.

Damn, the one across the street.

New neighbors to yell at!

Oh!

¡MÃrala quÃé contenta!

[Door]

[ANTONIO] ¡Berta!

The cushion man's apartment is for sale!

-So? -Let's buy it.

-And why do we want another apartment? -Damn, as an investment.

I want to be a great fork in a stressed area.

Antonio, we have no money.

Oh, what a liar.

I've seen Mariscos Recio's accounts

And you've opened two deposits, two.

And they're not giving you anything!

I prefer to capitalize and strengthen the balance sheet.

An entrepreneur saving money, where has that ever been seen?

-The money needs to be moved. -Antonio, who's the CEO here?

Silly girl, that way we can go to the indoor meetings

and undermine President Pechotes from within.

Holy Virgin, what an obsession.

This way we have somewhere to put Toñon.

Or do you want to keep it at home until you're 35?

I don't care, I'm doing great here.

Me neither. I'm starting to like it.

Well, I negotiate with the agency.

What a cross to bear.

Berta, I'm growing fond of you too.

Oh...

[Cortinilla musical]

Has mine come out?

Let's see...

Oh no, no, no.

You still have a while to stay here, huh?

Damn, I've been here all morning.

I weigh.

I mean, goodbye.

[Comic music]

Oh...

Good morning.

I wanted to request a disabled parking space in front of my house.

Person with reduced mobility.

Yes. My disability doesn't define me.

-Disability. -Damn, I can't get anything right, huh?

Do you have a parking permit for people with disabilities?

-No. -Well, you have to ask for it.

Wow. And where do I order that?

Here. Do you have the expert technical report?

Ah, yes. That's right.

-Let's see... Severe hydroanencephaly? -My brain is like a coconut:

I have a thin membrane of neurons attached to the shell,

which would be the white part of the coconut, but the rest is water.

-And can you drive? -Well, the brain is very plastic.

I have the tuk-tuk parked out there.

I can't ask him for a spot on a tuk-tuk,

they’re not even homologated.

Yes. So, he doesn't just discriminate against me because of my disability,

but because they don't have a car.

I am not discriminating against him.

How easy it is to live with a brain and two legs.

Well, I guess I'll just keep bumping into scaffolding, curbs,

dog shit, with everything else that's out there on the street.

I don't feel like doing "anything", nothing but dying.

[CRIES]

Wait, wait, come on, don't go. Come on.

[Cortinilla musical]

Ten milligrams, this one's heavy.

[THEY'RE BANGING ON THE DOOR]

They gave it to me!

Careful, careful! Don't go in so fast, they'll fly away.

-What? -My collection of belly button lint.

I've been keeping them since I was 18.

I'm 12 grams short of entering the Guinness World Records.

Only Graham Barker from Australia can beat me.

-That's fucking disgusting. -What did they give you?

The parking space for a person with reduced mobility!

And the "card".

Why do you want a parking space if you don't have a car?

To rent it, because Gabrielle's is costing me a fortune.

You wouldn't believe how expensive it is to be "in love".

-But is it legal? -To be "in love"?

Rent a disabled parking space.

Can't you just be happy for me?

Why would I be happy that you scam people?

Because we're friends.

Friends are there to tell you the good and the bad.

Oh, really? Well, I'm going to tell you something bad too:

You're an idiot!

[Cortinilla musical]

He's already blown it up.

Don't make a fuss!

Are you going to buy it? What for?

Shut up.

Yes, uh, Antonio Recio, wholesaler. I don't clean fish.

Yes. How much are they selling the apartment at Contubernio, 49 for?

ÂHow much?

¿Cuánto, cuánto?

But who's going to pay 300,000?

Que?

It's already been sold.

Damn, how's the center?

Good morning, Coque.

Berta, because of your doubts

We've missed a golden opportunity.

But what doubts? You just told me.

They paid 300,000 euros for the cushion man's apartment.

"People are crazy." "Wasn't it a golden opportunity?"

That means it wasn't for us.

Berta, seriously, you talk nonsense...

What's wrong with you, fishmonger?

They just bought the first one inside left.

Moving! Moving!

How nice, new neighbors.

-Well, why? -Uh, I don't know.

Oh please, let it be a young and happy couple

and we take away their will to live.

So, a new couple comes to the community, they buy an apartment

And you don't understand anything. What kind of goalkeeper are you?

I haven't seen anyone go in.

Who will it be?

I have it recorded with the peephole camera.

-A ver. -Ah.

Let's see.

[EVERYONE EXCLAIM]

Julia?

¡Oh!

[Timbre]

Little girl, have you bought the cushion man's apartment?

Anything else?

-How did you pay for it? -By prostituting herself.

-Oh... -¡Antonio!

¡Señora!

It wasn't necessary, I mortgaged this one.

And since it was already paid for...

I am letting you know that I am going to rent it out as a holiday apartment.

Are you going to set us up an Airbnb here?

Tourists! Tourists! Berta!

Don't mess around, cursing at people who are just passing through.

It's just less funny.

That needs to be approved by the board!

In mine, not yours.

I'm off now, the NASDAQ has opened up nice and hot.

Chao.

She's smart, isn't she?

It hasn't come out for you.

"Joe," 19 years old and two homes.

Our daughter is... special.

Your daughter is a speculator, what the hell is she going to be special about!

As long as he doesn't do drugs...

Fruit!

This is the downpipe, which is broken, look at it.

And is this covered by insurance?

It depends on the insurance.

"When do you want us to change it?" "The sooner the better. Tomorrow."

Come on, I'll be here tomorrow at nine.

Notify your neighbors: the bathroom will be unavailable for one hour.

Yes, no problem. I'll post a message in the group.

Oh, and a little sign in the elevator. Don't risk it, don't risk it.

[PICKS THE WALL] Careful.

No, man.

Good morning, petty thieves.

Menchu, I have to go.

Oh, what a bad mood in the mornings.

Give yourself a Satisfyer or something.

What do you want?

I'll offer you a deal: I'll tell Fina to stop cursing you out.

And you help me with one thing.

This sounds more like blackmail than a deal.

I want a grandmother's custody agreement.

[Dance music]

Yoli, they just confirmed to me

a "shooting" in Ibiza this weekend.

-Ah, I'm in. -What do you mean, you're in?

Yes, let's have a second honeymoon:

beach, spa, mojito,

Rent a boat, take me to Formentera...

And what do we do with Goku?

Let him stay here, if he doesn't understand anything.

With whom? Logi has vetoed us.

[Timbre]

Bruno, darling, are you busy?

The truth is, yes.

Despite your cruelty, there will always be a place for you in my heart.

Although I regret to inform you that I have moved my affections.

Wow. And who's the lucky one?

He is a young entrepreneur

with a great projection in the gastronomy sector.

Uf, what a plot twist, who could it be?

A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets.

That sounds familiar from a movie.

It was very nice while it lasted, Bruno.

Adiós.

Poor Martin.

I'll let you know.

[Timbre]

Qué señora más pesada, por favor.

Are you going to produce the film for me or not? Please don't torture me anymore.

Yes, I'm going to produce "The Labyrinth of Whispers" for you.

-Really? -Yes.

¡Sí, sí, sí!

Come on, come on!

Thanks, uncle!

Thank you!

I wanted to talk to you about something.

Contribute whatever you want, you'll surely improve the story.

No problem.

You see, this is a bit awkward.

You don't want me to star in it, you don't see my level.

-No, that's not it either. -Tell me openly:

"Sergio, you're only good for making soap operas,

"This has to be done by a real actor, a Bardem, a Tosar...".

No, I think you're perfect for a psychiatrist.

And Lola, for the mentally ill woman. No, that's not it. It's just that...

Sergio, I'm not gay.

¿Huh?

I'm heterosexual, but not at all homophobic, okay?

Very well, yes, there are...

We must respect.

It's just like you told me the other day

that you would love to collaborate with me...

Professionally.

-Well, to me it sounded like a ploy. -Why?

Because of the pause. Because you said, "I would love..."

"Collaborate with you." That pause was odd.

It would be a dramatic pause.

No, to me it seemed like a homosexual pause.

No, no, I'm not gay either.

Ah, I was surprised, but you actors do everything.

On the contrary, I thought you were the gay one.

-Why me? -A friend told me

that you didn't perform well in bed.

Tell Maite I function great when I like people!

It's worth it, it's worth it.

So, both of them are straight.

Is everything clear?

-Are we on track with the movie? -We're on track with the movie.

¡Uy...!

[Comic music]

[LOLA] "No, doctor."

I haven't taken my medication.

I don't care about the voices, I don't want to numb myself with drugs.

I want to be me. But who am I?

That picture is still crooked!

Oh.

What did he tell you?

Yes, it does produce it!

-¡Produces it! -¡Ah! ¡YES!

-Yes! -Yes!

[GIMEN]

Congratulations, darling.

Oh, damn, this calls for a celebration!

Sure. Uh, which one of the two?

[BOTH] Rock, paper, scissors.

[BERTA] Well, well!

And this?

A disabled parking space.

Yes, I know what it is. When did they put it on?

Are you going to leave it here?

-She's going to get a fine. -[GRETA] Berta!

-Shall we go to "erofitness" this afternoon? -I can't.

Since we bought a six-month pass to go together...

Tomorrow, okay?

OK.

-Come on, let's get to work. - Amador, there are no customers.

I don't want you standing there. Do the dishes or pretend you're doing something.

-How are you? -Exactly.

Amateur!

You parked the tuk-tuk in front of the fishmonger's.

In my parking space for a person with reduced mobility.

Haven't you seen the card?

-But you don't have reduced mobility. -The City Council says you do.

-Please, can you remove it? -Now I don't have to go anywhere.

Amador, I need that space to load and unload the truck.

Sorry, that spot is mine now.

-Respect my disability! -Hey...

Look... Unsupportive!

My goodness, how bad you pretend, eh?

¡Mami!

I am here to claim my constitutional right to act as a grandmother.

You're going to get a lawsuit, I have a lawyer and everything.

Come here.

Oh, how much I love you!

Well, let it show.

Mom, you can see the baby whenever you want.

Oh, my Goku...

Come on, darling, we're going to miss the plane.

Where am I going?

Thank you, Mom, I love you. We'll be back on Sunday.

-What do you mean, Sunday? -Sunday!

[Cortinilla musical]

How are you? I'm your new neighbor.

Yes, I know you.

Your new downstairs neighbor, I've bought the first one on the left.

Do you mind if I take pictures of your house?

I'm really excited about this renovation.

Could you translate what "me renta mazo" means?

-I just felt so old. -I'm going to copy that.

I'm having a party tonight, if you want to come by.

Since I'm going to tear down the whole house... "Demolition party!"

Out of curiosity, how old are you?

Nineteen.

Nineteen.

Damn, those Gen Z kids.

You can't just lie on the sofa all day, damn it!

I have nothing to do.

What a generation of wimps. Toín, be a man!

What is that?

Antonio, Amador has parked the tuk-tuk in front of the fish shop.

I can't load the truck.

When things get bad, you need me.

What do we do?

Fuck off already!

Antonio, you're going to dent it!

Fishmonger, you bastard! My tuk-tuk!

This is a loading and unloading zone, poop cleaner!

I'll smash you!

¡Atrás!

800,000 volts will course through your disproportionate skull!

The taser, for me!

-¡Come here, kid! -¡Oh!

Come here!

Police, come quickly, they are attacking my husband.

Why would he attack me if he doesn't catch me?

The police are on their way!

Oh my!

My chair!

Come back, coward!

¡Enfréntate a la ira de Antonio Recio!

One day they're going to smash your face in.

"Let the police do their job." [SKEPTICAL] "The police..."

Ah!

Ah!

Two hundred euros?

But we've been parking the truck there for four seasons.

-And on top of that, a repeat offender. -Very good!

They need to learn to respect people with disabilities.

We have to put up with quite a few "sweaty" people.

He's a cheat, he has no mobility problems.

-I can't feel my legs. -Oh, really?

Hey, don't attack a disabled person.

Nothing.

And he is disabled.

Look, look, a tear of pain is escaping her eye!

That's a shame

from seeing the "old man" treatment I receive from my neighbors.

Vejatorio!

Don't park the truck there again or we'll call a tow truck.

Let's go.

Okay, that's it then.

Officers! He's gotten up!

They've already left. Record it with your phone!

No, not now. He's already sat down.

Hey, I'm thinking

It's probably silly to argue about a job.

I rent it to you for 300 euros a month.

-¿Cuánto? -¡Tú tienes más cara que espalda!

Poop cleaners, this is war.

Well, maybe it'll have gone up tomorrow, huh?

Prices in the city center have skyrocketed.

Oh...

[Musiquilla]

Chef Zegurola, can we close now? Nobody's coming.

What do you mean, no? We have a reservation.

It has been cancelled.

Look, it's only an hour.

Amador, if you want to pee, you pee and flush later.

Agustin, stop sending stickers.

Martín.

-See? A customer. -My God.

I've come to warn you that the marchioness has changed her affections.

towards a promising young talent in gastronomy.

Bruno, take the problems one at a time.

Do you eat dinner or not?

No, no, no.

-Bruno! -Goodbye.

I have a little gift for you.

-¿Sí? -Sí.

[READ] "The Earth is round and other myths." Really?

Inside you have a ticket for the Flat Earth Congress,

The author is coming. Take the book; he can sign it for you.

What a coincidence, I bought one from you too.

Oh. Really?

"Natural Sciences, first grade of Primary School?"

Sí.

Pay special attention to topic 3.

Here: "The Solar System".

Come on. This is the Earth, it's spherical.

And this is the Sun, and we revolve around it.

Propaganda!

[Music at full volume]

[Music and the bustle of people]

It's impossible to sleep with this noise!

Today's youth only listen to crap!

-Fuck.

(Music at full volume)

(Music and noise)

Uh! Come in, come in.

Can you turn the music down? Don Simón has complained to me.

"Holy Madonna, a celebration!"

"But where are the beautiful girls?"

Well, come in and have something to drink, woman.

¡Ugh! ¡Venga, táa, que te prepareo un gin-tonic!

No, I'm here to complain.

Come on, switch off for a bit.

Mother and worker, you deserve alcohol.

I'm going in my pajamas.

"Party, party!".

¡Yuju!

[BABY CRIES]

[RELIEVING JOKE]

[Silence]

Ah, finally.

[Timbre]

[BABY CRIES]

Damn!

The Guijarro daughter is going to open an Airbnb.

This is going to be a parade of tourists.

We need to plan express fuck-ups.

Let's go to bingo, that's where you think best.

I can't, they've saddled me with the kid for the whole weekend.

And when did you reconcile with Yoli?

It happened a little while ago, and they sped off. It was all very strange.

What a plan.

[CHISTA] He's going to sleep.

Oh, oh, oh...

But why isn't this loading?

Damn Chinese cables.

How can they not dominate the world, if they even scam us with this?

We should rent the square to Amador.

And again. No way!

And how are we going to load and unload the truck?

Why would we pay for something that was free?

Berta, please.

It's the Spanish roguery. When someone can, they take advantage.

Let's see.

What would our idols do?

What are you saying?

Yours would turn the other cheek and then wash his feet.

¿And Buddha? Well, Buddha tone.

He would still be there, high in his nirvana.

And Trump would deport him and impose a tariff.

Oh, what a great man.

The simplest solutions are always the best.

Are you thinking or are you having a stroke?

I've got it!

You leave the truck double-parked for a moment

And if someone happens to be passing by while you're downloading, they should wait.

Anything but give in to the blackmailer's extortion!

Are you thinking or are you having a stroke?

Well, that's also true.

We've all had to wait at some point.

Berta, good people have a very bad time in life.

Look how yours ended up, crucified.

Mine, on the other hand, has been in office for two terms.

And just wait until he stages a coup.

Mine opened the gates of Heaven.

And yours is going straight to Hell.

Another crisis resolved by the Recio administration.

I'm so good and I have such a nice ass!

A breathalyzer test as a thank you?

[MUFFLING] I've already put on the splint.

¿QuÃÃ é ferula?

I have bruxism, due to stress.

How creative you get when it interests you: bruxism.

Bruxism, yes. The dentist told me so.

I have to wear this... -Shut up, for God's sake.

-What kind of old age awaits us. -[MUTTERS]

[QUESTION]

[THEY SUPPRESS LAUGHTER]

Oh. [JOKE]

It's four in the morning.

Can you tell me where you were?

[RÍEN]

It's not funny.

Who am I supposed to sleep with tonight?

[SUPPRESSES GAG] All for you, darling.

Damn, I'm so sleepy.

-I don't want anything today, okay? -There's no way I can organize myself like this.

[Cortinilla musical]

¡Buah, qué diazo!

Why don't you wait for me at the pool?

Or better yet, go get a massage.

No, my love, I'll go with you to the "shooting".

-Really? -Yes.

It makes me happy to see how my child works.

You're the best.

-I love you. -I love you. Artist!

[GIMEN]

This is a pleasure to work on, right on the beach.

Yes. You'll tell me in five hours.

¿Óscar?

Francesca!

Well, well!

¿QuÃé tal? ¿Cóómo estás? ¡QuÃé guapo estás!

Very good. You too, very much so. I can't wait!

Oh...

Oh. Let me introduce you to my wife, Yoli.

-Yoli, Francesca. -Nice to meet you.

Francesca is Francisca in Spanish, ¿no?

I can call you Paca.

Good morning.

I'll borrow it for a bit, okay?

But give it back quickly, or I'll punch you in the face.

[HISTRIONICAL KING]

Have a good time, my love.

And you, my love.

My man! Father of my child!

¡Uy!

Shell!

Oh...

The little girl has backed down.

No, no, it's Doña Fina's apartment.

Is that damned old woman selling her house?

[MENCHU] "But why are you leaving?"

We need to take advantage of the bubble,

By the time the next one comes around, we might already be pushing up daisies.

Are you seriously going to leave me alone?

But if you're already spending more time with your dates, with your grandson...

I'm no longer involved here.

And what about the fishmonger? Are you going to give him that joy?

They'll give me 300,000.

that the bank had valued it at 220,000.

Not selling would be stupid.

And now who am I going to eat sunflower seeds with in the doorway? Huh?

Do you have much longer?

[COMPLAINING WOMAN] Martin!

My wife has a hangover; she went out yesterday.

Come on, man, come on. Damn, with the rush.

Wait, let me help you and we'll finish sooner.

Okay, so how's this going?

[Upper cistern]

Quítese. ¡Quítese, quítese!

¡But!

Bye bye!

But didn't he warn the neighbors?

Of course I warned you!

In the chat and at the elevator door!

Well, they shat in his face.

¡Berta!

We're going to buy the first right-hand inside one.

The damned old woman is leaving.

¿Doña Fine? ¿Where?

I don't know. It's a golden opportunity!

Antonio, she would never sell you her apartment.

-Why not? -Because he hates you?

And I, to her.

What does disgust have to do with business?

¡Uy!

Ma'am! Will you sell me your apartment?

Of course.

¡300 000!

-Ah! -But why is he selling it?

I prefer to go to a nursing home.

where I can curse old people out and the next day they don't even remember.

Wise decision.

Okay, should I make an appointment with the notary?

Yes, yes. I'll take down the sign.

Damn, I sold it fast.

Antonio, that's a lot of money.

Don't you want to lose sight of that damned old woman?

How many times has he called you "bad and a whore"?

Uf...

Well, that's it.

[MAITE] On even days it's your turn and on odd days, it's mine.

So, in months with 31 days, you'll get 1 more.

So whenever you want to take it away for a weekend or a long weekend,

That's how we compensate.

And what do we do in August?

Fifteen days for you and fifteen for me?

What is this, a regulatory agreement?

I'll take it for Easter!

Well, me, at Christmas!

-Hello. -Oh. How are you?

Well, phew... I've had better hangovers.

¿Y të?

What is it like living together in the apartment for disillusioned divorcees?

To be honest, I never imagined

that my life at this point would be like this.

Welcome to the club, kid.

I imagined myself happy in my home

with my wife, a couple of kids, a dog,

Barbecue in the garden, I don't know. -Yeah.

The sooner you rule it out, the better.

It's not going to happen. And if it does, it's not going to end well.

-Thanks, Rebecca, you really cheer me up. -No problem, man.

When you need a dose of heteropessimism,

You know where I am.

[Sensual music]

[Claxons]

-[DRIVERS] Let's go! -Go for it, man!

Oh.

[Claxons]

Just a moment!

Hurry up, Parrales!

There are a lot of boxes.

The prawns for Don Tinín's communion have arrived.

[Claxons]

Coque, give us a hand!

I'm giving you a Mariscos Recio keychain.

I already have them all.

[DRIVERS PROTEST SHOUTING] Shut up already, damn it!

¿No veis que están descargando?

-What's wrong, is the street yours? -Oh.

Are you being cocky?

Leave it, I'll take care of it.

Close that up, the plague is reaching us here!

Sir, it smells like the sea!

[Claxons]

[SHOOT GUN YOU BE[

¡Antonio!

He got a shock; that's the risk of electric cars.

-I'm calling the police!

Run, they're going to arrest you again!

[Claxons]

-Uh! -And your bag? We're late.

Oh, Greta, I can't today either. You go.

Going alone isn't fun.

You son of a bitch, move the truck out of the way!

Have a little patience, you rude girl!

What you need is a spa: some jets, a Turkish bath...

Oh, yes... Please.

-I'll organize everything. -Oh.

[Claxons]

¡Ya va! ¡Ya va!

Throw Berta, it's over!

¡Run, start!

Debt!

Have a good day!

I'm going to report you, you bastards!

May God bless you.

Fuck you!

See you later, goodbye.

[Cortinilla musical]

Ahí, ahí, ahí.

See how easy it is to understand each other?

Do you want an invoice?

You'll have to give me the disabled person's card, right?

-Yes, man. -So I can park.

Take: a "for you" card.

Well, "nothing".

Oh, delighted to do business with you, Sister Quisquis.

May God punish you as you deserve.

I don't think so. He's very busy with his own things.

And you're leaving the square free for me right now.

Yes, yes. I promise not to park.

Well, until I buy a car, which is working out very well for me.

I'll let you know.

That's it, girls. Give me everything.

Sensual, eat the camera.

Great, I have it.

Next change. Thank you very much.

Are you very bored, my love?

No, no. I'm having a great time here.

Why don't you go to the spa?

No way.

Okay.

I'm going to get a battery.

[Comic music]

Paca, if you keep fooling around with my husband,

You're going to have problems with hair density.

Don't worry, honey, I already fucked him back in the day.

-Oh, really? -We've tasted almost all of them here.

Bruna, no, she's a lesbian.

She's not a lesbian, she's bi.

But don't worry, Oscar loves you very much.

♪ [TUNE TO] The one that is coming. ♪

[MARTIN] "First and only item on the agenda:"

If the person who defecated at 9:37 this morning,

whose shit has fallen directly on my face...

[SUPPRESSES REGAGING]

...he doesn't appear and apologizes right now,

I will turn this community into a hellhole.

Has it been you?

I thought about it, but I didn't feel like it.

Have you been slapped "in the face"?

You're having a terrible run of luck, aren't you?

[RÍEN] Literal.

What was the poop like?

-Huh? -Your body sends you signals

through what you eliminate.

If it's yellow, you have gallbladder problems.

It's also important to see if it's softer, if it's harder...

And if it floats, it means you're not digesting fat properly.

Sometimes I have to flush the toilet three times.

because it doesn't sink.

Don't you guys look at your poop?

Agustin, please.

I always take pictures of him.

I'll send it to my doctor via WhatsApp.

But then he never answers me.

Instead of fotopolla, fotoñorda.

Did you hear me? Who the hell was that?

I was taking a nap at that time.

Last night the "demolition party" went on a little longer.

I was hooking up with Gabrielle, the morning one.

Oh, no... No. What time was it?

9:37 or thereabouts? No. Where was I at that time?

Working, working at El Zegurola.

It must have been one of the geek's personalities.

¿Agustín?

Ah, how should I know?

Didn't you say you saw everything through a peephole?

When they go to the bathroom, I respect their privacy.

Well, it was the chihuahua.

That she goes to the toilet at least three times,

She is anorexic and lost.

It's my metabolism!

Could it have been you, accusing everyone?

I'm outside, smarty pants.

That I have made peace with my daughter.

[MARTIN] So, it wasn't anyone.

That shit appeared out of thin air.

Very good.

I'm going to take a stool sample to the lab.

I have them in the fridge. Yuck!

-Did you put the turd away? -Then throw away the Tupperware.

When he finds out who did it, he's going to be in deep trouble.

Again, you mean, right?

[RÍEN]

Fuck it!

Oh, well, just a moment. Now that you're all here,

I want to take advantage

to officially inform you that I am leaving.

[LOLA] What do you mean she's leaving?

To a residence.

I leave Contubernio, 49.

-But Miss Fine... -Thank you all very much.

I've had a lot of fun insulting you.

[Emotional music]

What a shame, isn't it?

I'm upset...

But, let's see, who's going to call me "big-headed" now?

Me. Bighead.

I'll smash you, I'll smash you!

Missed the End...

And to top it all off, they're laughing at me!

How do you even explain that?

I won't stop until I find out who shat on me.

It's your fault for putting up the sign. Don't you know who you live with?

I'm going to the town hall to get the building plans!

Why?

To find out where that downpipe comes from.

Honey, you've just opened the restaurant,

You have a health inspection, I have one from the tax authorities.

We have more important problems.

More important than knowing who shat on my face?

-Hey. -Please,

Stop saying that out loud.

And on top of that, she's laughing at me too.

[SUPPRESSES LAUGHTER]

[SLAMS DOOR]

The purpose of this appearance is the sale of the property

at Contubernio Street, 49, first floor right interior,

for 300,000 euros, free of encumbrances.

Is everyone in agreement?

Yes, I do!

Antonio, it's not a wedding.

I am satisfied.

The bank grants them a mortgage loan of 190,000 euros

under the agreed terms.

Everyone has been informed,

They have understood the content and express their willingness to sign.

Aquí.

The representative of the banking entity, Mr. Javier Lorda,

You can hand over the check.

Berta, we are the owners!

-Good morning. -Good morning.

Adiós.

Would you mind giving me 24 hours before I leave?

I won't get my room at the residence until tomorrow.

Having moved out earlier. The keys.

Antonio, we're not going to leave her on the street.

Why not? Let it be better organized.

This is my home now!

Stay overnight without any problem.

Okay, let him pay us for one day's rent.

Antonio, no.

Berta, a hug.

You're mean and a whore, but I've grown fond of you.

And I to you, ma'am.

Fishmonger, I'm going to think about you a lot.

What about me?

You have been a worthy rival.

-Antonio... -What?

-You got emotional. -Me?

-No, it's allergies. -Oh...

[Cortinilla musical]

[OSCAR] Look, they turned out pretty, huh?

And that's without any retouching.

That's a lie, they're all fully operated on.

The photos, Yoli.

Did you really sleep with all of them?

A long time ago, you and I didn't even know each other.

-To bisexuals, too? -Which bisexuals?

-Bruna! -Oh, well...

i guess.

What kind of mental disorder do you have?

-Huh? -Why are you with me?

Why not be with those hot chicks?

I'm short and I don't lose weight no matter how much I starve myself.

And I would kill to have the legs of those bitches.

Because with that metabolism, it's impossible not to be happy.

-Yoli, uh... [CHISS]

Yoli. [LE REMEDA] Yoli.

I love you.

Why?

Well...

because you don't need to be 1.80 m tall.

You are unique.

And because you're so crazy and you make me laugh.

Because you insult me ​​and surprise me like no one else.

Because we got married drunk, because we have a child together

And because I can't imagine life without you.

And your mother was right: I'll never be bored by your side.

You are fire and I love to burn.

What a farewell, cleaning a butt instead of being at bingo.

[Mobile phone beeps]

Ay! A "match"!

It's not fair, we've already raised our children.

This is grandmother exploitation.

Jaime, you look great.

Look, look at that.

My goodness, people used to become grandparents at 50!

At 75, it's not funny at all.

Oh, he says he wants to eat me tomorrow!

Oh no, we're eating tomorrow.

But are you listening to me?

¡Oh, the Word!

[Call]

Baby! How are you?

"Very much in love, Mom."

Put on some cream, otherwise you'll peel.

"Hey, we're going to stay another night."

Ah.

Ah, very good, daughter. Very good, yes.

"That's with Goku, alright, ¿right?".

Yes, of course. I'm happy to spend time with my grandson.

"Sure, right?"

Yes, yes... Enjoy yourselves, those of you who can.

"Okay. I love you, Mom." "Me too! Me too!"

But why are you saying yes?

Damn, with the beating I gave him,

Now I can't tell him I have indigestion as a child.

I'm going to pack my suitcase.

[BABY WEEPS]

Oh, my beautiful Goku!

Your grandma's love!

Sergio, ¿where are you?

It's a little late and we don't know anything about you.

Okay, well, a little kiss. I love you.

We love you.

Is he cheating on us?

Let's be positive, maybe he was hit by a car or something.

[Message]

-¡Ah, audio! -"Play, play!".

[SERGIO] "Hello".

"I'm fine, girls, relax, it's just that I'm not going to sleep at home."

"A kiss...

at two o'clock."

Pero ¿dó³nde está¡ este cabrón?

[THEY SIGH WITH PLEASURE]

You can leave whenever you want, okay?

Do you mind if I spend the night here?

As if we felt something for each other?

-That's it. -Ah.

Okay, fine. Alright, good night.

-Rest well. -You too.

[Intriguing music]

What are you doing?

I've narrowed the suspects down to three.

-And the red threads? -The downpipes, according to the plan.

I noted the entry and exit times,

in addition to his criminal profile

based on the laboratory analyses.

Pay attention: high mucus, acidic pH and pasty consistency.

Martin, how disgusting.

According to ChatGPT, that indicates

that the subject has irritable bowel syndrome,

He is possibly celiac and potentially anxious and/or stressed.

Oh, honey, you have to stop.

No, not until I find the culprit.

Martín.

Martin! Even if you catch him and kill him

and dismember him and burn him in the yard,

You'll always be the man who got shat on.

I know who it is!

I'm going to bed.

-Don't you want me to tell you? -Bah.

I've got you.

[BERTA Drowsily] Hum...

¿Sí?

"How about I get the spa voucher with a four-hand massage?"

Includes a small glass of champagne and chocolates.

"There is another, slightly more expensive option with a facial massage."

and cocoa mask.

Or with hot stones, reflexology, and also...

"Do what you want, I trust you."

"See you later, I'll send you the location."

Oh, yes.

-What are you doing? -Oh.

¡Vístete!

I want to take possession of my domains.

Poor Fina, ending up alone in a nursing home, I feel sorry for her.

Now I can run for president of both communities.

I'm going to reunify the building.

Mr. Recio!

Doña Fina has given me the keys to her house for you.

Perfect.

Antonio, where are you going?

[Timbre]

[KNOCKS ON THE DOOR]

Que?

President Pechotes, I officially introduce myself

as the new owner of the first interior right.

-Excuse me? -Antonio, no chinches!

I'm introducing myself, as a good neighbor.

We'll see you at the meetings.

They bought the apartment from Mrs. Fina.

Yes, we do have the evil eye, yes.

What's wrong with this?

You're doing it wrong.

And how does a door open badly? It either opens or it doesn't!

Who's at my lock?

You damned old woman, get out of here! Come on, to the nursing home!

Which residence?

I live here.

And he has a pizza receipt to prove it.

¿Chusa?

I'm advising her; we squatters have to help each other.

How?

I was going to take the money from the first idiot who showed up.

But since you were the first idiot,

The temptation has been very great.

Occupy! Occupy!

You damned old woman, get out of my house or you will die in terrible suffering!

Be careful, I have a peephole camera that records everything.

Come on, I'll show you.

How to get hooked on the community light, come on.

[Cortinilla musical]

Maite!

Maite!

Now I know where this bastard has been sleeping!

Mira.

[Door]

[SERGIO] Hello!

Hey girls, how's it going? Have you had breakfast?

"But how could you do this to us!" - "Dignity, Maite."

You, get the hell out!

But wait, I was already with both of them.

Is one more really going to be a problem?

Hey, my things!

Did you forget anything?

Can I stay with you for a few days?

The damn peephole with a camera. I was hooking up with both of them.

Dude, they're my friends. How come you didn't tell me anything?

Yoli was right, you are a brave bitch!

There are no more men, huh? There are no more men?

I didn't know anything, this fucking liar kept it quiet.

Silence is not lying.

We won't pick up any more Amazon packages from you!

[SLAMS DOOR]

Damn, man! The whole building already hates me!

So, can I stay or...?

I love it!

I'm Menchu!

-And this child? -Ah, yes.

It's my grandson Goku. The little girl, who's gotten me into trouble,

And I'm no longer in a position to let things slide.

Does it matter to you?

-Uh... -Perfect.

The person who was going to be my great love had a heart attack.

And it has made me think about how ephemeral life is.

I'm sorry.

Because it's ephemeral, Jaime.

Do we fuck?

¿Ya?

No, man. After dessert.

I never miss out on rice pudding.

Waiter!

[BABY CRIES]

Three hundred thousand euros flushed down the toilet.

Leave me alone, okay?

We're married, so the blame is shared.

[Claxon]

-[DRIVER] Come on, damn it! -What's going on out there?

Doña Berta, the parking space is occupied.

Again?

[Claxons]

That can't be, I have it rented out.

You paid the poop cleaner!

I don't understand anything.

Another one who's messing with us!

Doña Berta, let's unload the truck, people are crowding around us.

Parrales, don't overwhelm me!

Run, run around the block!

Parrales, with the truck!

[Claxons]

Oh my God! What are you doing?

Leave him a "little note" on the windshield wiper.

¡Antonio!

Give me that!

Get out of here! I need to get rid of the anger I'm carrying inside!

Give it to me, I want it too!

I'm fed up!

[RUGE] ¡Berta!

I'm fed up!

Property...

...of turning the other cheek!

¡Uh!

[GRUÃ'E]

[Piano Melodía]

¡Berta!

-¡Berta! -¿QuÃe?

[Comic music]

[MARTIN] "First and only item on the agenda:"

unmask the cowardly rat who shat on my face.

Martin, really...

Shame has to change sides!

-Weren't you leaving? -You wish, chihuahua.

I'm staying as a squatter.

¡You have sent me to the end!

But don't leave the house alone.

Don't worry, I'm on duty!

Do you want to listen to me? I've discovered the culprit.

Just say it already, you pest.

Shall we make a bet?

At first I suspected you, Agustin.

-Why me? -But you're usually obedient.

Tenía que ser o un vecino cabrón o algún desinformado,

But you all answered through the group...

So, I narrowed my suspects down to three:

Amador,...

Fine...

and Julia.

I live across the street.

You could have stayed overnight in the first one.

They had left the bathroom ready for me to use.

-There wasn't a cup. -Don't worry, you're out.

My wife was completely drunk, but she saw you come back downstairs.

Yes, yes. That's what,

There were only two left... -Was it you?

I don't think so, but come on, I'm starting to have doubts, you know?

But the laboratory analyses

They indicated that the criminal is an anxious person,

And Amador doesn't know what stress is. -"Na".

I'm an "easygoing" person.

On the other hand, I also don't believe that the life of a retired psychopath

that someone who spends their time harassing neighbors can be very stressful.

No, it doesn't. It relaxes me.

The excrement belonged to a person with celiac disease.

but at the Independence Day celebration in the interior

You all stuffed yourselves with half-moons with ham, and that contains gluten.

-He's really giving us a lecture. -[CHISS] Shut up.

I thought of Gabriela, his girlfriend,

But I remembered that Amador had invited him for designer tapas.

Which, by the way, I plan to deduct from his salary.

But you'll give me a discount, I'm the maître d'.

I was in a dead end.

How was it possible to have received it in the face

What about the feces of a person with celiac disease if there are none in the building?

After days and nights without sleep...

-Honey, it was yesterday. ...I found the key!

When I assumed the presidency and Greta tried to intimidate me,

He told me the story

how Agustin demanded an elevator in his Fisher Price persona,

since he has a clinically certified paraplegia.

Yes, yes, you can prick this one and he won't feel a thing.

And that's when it clicked!

There was only one option left:

that it was a celiac personality of Agustin.

There's one of them who always asks me for her "cup of tea".

when he comes to look after Lucia, but never with cookies.

What British citizen drinks their tea without pastries...

Unless I have a wheat intolerance?

So, the person who shat on my face can only be

-¡Margaret Astor! -¡Ah!

But Miss Margaret couldn't be...

if I had a date with the Anunnaki.

With whom?

The extraterrestrials from whom we descend.

A little bit of culture, please.

They told me very interesting things about the origin of Humanity.

They planted us. Wow.

Look, 9:31 in the morning.

But then, who the hell was it?

Hello!

Blondie, did you poop yesterday between nine and ten in the morning?

Well...

Why?

Because it couldn't be done, Colombo was fixing a downpipe.

Oh, wow, well...

Yes, indeed. Here it is!

Well, you've thrown a turd in this guy's face.

How... how embarrassing, Martín. I'm so sorry, really.

Auntie, I put a sign in the elevator.

Yes, but I always take the stairs.

That's why you have the great ass you have.

Get a blood test, because you might be celiac.

Weren't you going to punch the culprit in the face?

Poor thing, Auntie, she didn't know.

Your lover shat on your face!

He's not my lover, ma'am!

The session is adjourned!

Where did they analyze your poop so quickly?

Pass me the contact information.

[Timbre]

Can I stay with you for a few days?

-Excuse me? -While I find something.

Maite and Lola have kicked me out of the house

for spending the night with Rebecca. -Ah.

You take heterosexuality very seriously, don't you?

I'm fed up.

What I need now is to share my life with a man...

to concentrate on the movie and stop messing around.

Sex is a huge distraction.

Well, stay then, if it's temporary.

Shall I show you your room?

That's very good.

Wardrobe just for you.

Hey, what a relief to live with someone I don't have to sleep with.

Oral sex, not even that?

-¿Eh? -¡Nothing, it's a joke!

No, Sergio, let's make things clear:

We are two cisgender heterosexual men who are going to live together temporarily.

-Exactly. -Awesome.

That's fucking great, mate.

I'm so sorry, really.

It was a misunderstanding.

There was no need to call the police, was there?

-By filing a friendly report... -Friendly?

You smashed my car with a bat!

How spiteful defective minorities are.

Oh my.

Look at him, look at him, he can walk!

Oh! Agents!

My chair has been stolen!

My chair has been stolen, officers!

To the police station, too.

Ah... Ah... This is abuse, huh? This is abuse of a disabled person!

I'm the disabled one, you bastard!

But call another car, we can't all fit!

I can't feel my legs.

[Cortinilla musical]

¡Mami!

We're here!

Hello!

¿Menchu?

[JAIME GIME]

Mom!

Oh! [BABY CRIES]

But weren't you coming back tomorrow?

Oh, he's awake now. It took me ages to get him to sleep.

We felt guilty for leaving the child with you for so many days.

Are you sleeping with a guy while you're babysitting my son?

Jaime.

Delighted.

-El niño. -Goku.

[GRUÃ'E]

Berta, I've been here for an hour, we've missed our massage appointment.

Can you reach the little jets?

Where are you?

I wrecked a disabled person's car.

I'm going to Hell.

Uh, the VIP area.

You hit the Pope with a bag.

You have a reserved spot between Hitler and Gaddafi.

Oh, the disabled, what good customers they are, they never leave without paying.

And the cars are more spacious. Very comfortable for work.

Bibian, ¿tú sabes llevar tuctucs?

And for 7500 kilo trucks, I have the C1.

I need a driver. Are you a man or a woman?

Not even he knows.

I am whatever you want me to be, darling.[ROARS]

I see you and I hire you!

[Comic music]

[BERTA SPEAKS WITH THE FÍRULA] [LAUGHS]

Yoli was right.

Hum...

-Shit! -Shit!

[BOTH LAUGH]

And... [LA]

[Comic music]

So, he's coming...

[RÍEN]

I feel sorry for you too.

[RÍE]

The one that's coming.

That's fucking awesome, dude.

-¡Corten! -Yes.

But are you... "man" or "woman"?

[RÍE]

[Closing theme]