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Original subtitles

We all know Donald Trump has a long list

We all know Donald Trump has a long list

We all know Donald Trump has a long list of enemies. Iran, Democrats, the

of enemies. Iran, Democrats, the

of enemies. Iran, Democrats, the far-left radicals known as the Catholic

far-left radicals known as the Catholic

far-left radicals known as the Catholic Church. But there's only one opponent

Church. But there's only one opponent

Church. But there's only one opponent that Trump hates so much that when he

that Trump hates so much that when he

that Trump hates so much that when he goes after them, he actually becomes

goes after them, he actually becomes

goes after them, he actually becomes them.

them.

them. >> You know, the windmills

>> You know, the windmills

>> You know, the windmills windmills

windmills

windmills wind.

>> That's right. Whether it's a person from

>> That's right. Whether it's a person from

>> That's right. Whether it's a person from another country or an inanimate object,

another country or an inanimate object,

another country or an inanimate object, Trump will do the accent. And you you

Trump will do the accent. And you you

Trump will do the accent. And you you might be saying, "Wait, Desi, aren't

might be saying, "Wait, Desi, aren't

might be saying, "Wait, Desi, aren't those wind turbines?" Yes, they used to

those wind turbines?" Yes, they used to

those wind turbines?" Yes, they used to be, but Trump calls them windmills, so

be, but Trump calls them windmills, so

be, but Trump calls them windmills, so they're windmills now.

they're windmills now.

they're windmills now. >> You know, like how this is now the Gulf

>> You know, like how this is now the Gulf

>> You know, like how this is now the Gulf of America. This is the Trump Kennedy

of America. This is the Trump Kennedy

of America. This is the Trump Kennedy Center, and these are healthy angles.

And boy oh boy, Trump has gone after

And boy oh boy, Trump has gone after

And boy oh boy, Trump has gone after these windmills with a vengeance. The

these windmills with a vengeance. The

these windmills with a vengeance. The president signed an executive order on

president signed an executive order on

president signed an executive order on his first day in office this term,

his first day in office this term,

his first day in office this term, bringing federal wind projects to a

bringing federal wind projects to a

bringing federal wind projects to a halt.

halt.

halt. >> There are windmills all over the place.

>> There are windmills all over the place.

>> There are windmills all over the place. And they are losers.

>> Total losers. And you know what? While

>> Total losers. And you know what? While

>> Total losers. And you know what? While we're at it, hey, pin wheels RIGHT OFF.

we're at it, hey, pin wheels RIGHT OFF.

we're at it, hey, pin wheels RIGHT OFF. OKAY. OKAY.

OKAY. OKAY.

OKAY. OKAY. YOU'RE NOT even that whimsical, you

YOU'RE NOT even that whimsical, you

YOU'RE NOT even that whimsical, you glittery

glittery

glittery But keep in mind, all of that took place

But keep in mind, all of that took place

But keep in mind, all of that took place before the war with Iran. Trump's

before the war with Iran. Trump's

before the war with Iran. Trump's obviously got more important things to

obviously got more important things to

obviously got more important things to worry about than some silly windmills.

worry about than some silly windmills.

worry about than some silly windmills. During a global energy crisis and his

During a global energy crisis and his

During a global energy crisis and his war in Iran, the Trump administration is

war in Iran, the Trump administration is

war in Iran, the Trump administration is paying a French energy company nearly $1

paying a French energy company nearly $1

paying a French energy company nearly $1 billion of US taxpayer money to cancel

billion of US taxpayer money to cancel

billion of US taxpayer money to cancel its plans to build two offshore wind

its plans to build two offshore wind

its plans to build two offshore wind farms.

farms.

farms. How could you do that in the middle of

How could you do that in the middle of

How could you do that in the middle of an energy crisis? Windmills should be

an energy crisis? Windmills should be

an energy crisis? Windmills should be our backup plan. It's like I always say,

our backup plan. It's like I always say,

our backup plan. It's like I always say, windmills are the morning after pill of

windmills are the morning after pill of

windmills are the morning after pill of the straight of Hormuse.

the straight of Hormuse.

the straight of Hormuse. I always say it. I do. I always say that

I always say it. I do. I always say that

I always say it. I do. I always say that right before the person next to me on

right before the person next to me on

right before the person next to me on the subway changes seats. And spending a

the subway changes seats. And spending a

the subway changes seats. And spending a billion of our tax dollars to stop a

billion of our tax dollars to stop a

billion of our tax dollars to stop a project is insane. If I want to pay a

project is insane. If I want to pay a

project is insane. If I want to pay a fortune to get nothing, I'll buy season

fortune to get nothing, I'll buy season

fortune to get nothing, I'll buy season tickets to the Mets.

But also, oh,

But also, oh,

But also, oh, and he's hated windmills forever. Ever

and he's hated windmills forever. Ever

and he's hated windmills forever. Ever since 2012 when they hurt the thing

since 2012 when they hurt the thing

since 2012 when they hurt the thing Trump loves the most. No, not that.

Trump loves the most. No, not that.

Trump loves the most. No, not that. Not that either. I'm talking about his

Not that either. I'm talking about his

Not that either. I'm talking about his golf courses. The focus of his outrage,

golf courses. The focus of his outrage,

golf courses. The focus of his outrage, a proposed wind farm off the coast and

a proposed wind farm off the coast and

a proposed wind farm off the coast and in eyesight of Trump's Aberdine golf

in eyesight of Trump's Aberdine golf

in eyesight of Trump's Aberdine golf course.

course.

course. >> It's one of the most serious problems

>> It's one of the most serious problems

>> It's one of the most serious problems that Scotland will have or has had.

that Scotland will have or has had.

that Scotland will have or has had. >> They're horrible looking structures.

>> They're horrible looking structures.

>> They're horrible looking structures. They make noise.

>> So you've said, but I'm not sure that

>> So you've said, but I'm not sure that

>> So you've said, but I'm not sure that windmills make noise was a very

windmills make noise was a very

windmills make noise was a very effective argument to Scotland. It's the

effective argument to Scotland. It's the

effective argument to Scotland. It's the bagpipe capital of the world.

bagpipe capital of the world.

bagpipe capital of the world. They love noise. Have you heard the

They love noise. Have you heard the

They love noise. Have you heard the Scottish version of the Headspace app?

>> Almost fell asleep there.

>> Almost fell asleep there.

>> Almost fell asleep there. >> But Trump wasn't going down without a

>> But Trump wasn't going down without a

>> But Trump wasn't going down without a fight and he took it all the way to the

fight and he took it all the way to the

fight and he took it all the way to the courts.

courts.

courts. >> You're in litigation. Who are you suing?

>> You're in litigation. Who are you suing?

>> You're in litigation. Who are you suing? We're suing essentially Scotland. Nobody

We're suing essentially Scotland. Nobody

We're suing essentially Scotland. Nobody sues a country. We are. We're suing the

sues a country. We are. We're suing the

sues a country. We are. We're suing the country. We're doing VERY WELL.

country. We're doing VERY WELL.

country. We're doing VERY WELL. >> OH NICE KNOWING YOU, SCOTLAND.

>> OH NICE KNOWING YOU, SCOTLAND.

>> OH NICE KNOWING YOU, SCOTLAND. Because when Donald Trump goes to court,

Because when Donald Trump goes to court,

Because when Donald Trump goes to court, it always goes exactly the way he

it always goes exactly the way he

it always goes exactly the way he planned.

planned.

planned. >> In a unanimous judgment, the court

>> In a unanimous judgment, the court

>> In a unanimous judgment, the court rejects both challenges.

rejects both challenges.

rejects both challenges. >> Yes.

>> Yes. The UK Supreme Court said, "We

>> Yes. The UK Supreme Court said, "We

>> Yes. The UK Supreme Court said, "We think this is stupid and we wear these

think this is stupid and we wear these

think this is stupid and we wear these things to work."

things to work."

things to work." So obviously Trump moved on from this

So obviously Trump moved on from this

So obviously Trump moved on from this defeat with his usual grace and

defeat with his usual grace and

defeat with his usual grace and humility. By which I mean he held on to

humility. By which I mean he held on to

humility. By which I mean he held on to this grudge like it was a Nobel Prize

this grudge like it was a Nobel Prize

this grudge like it was a Nobel Prize made of boobs. And windmills went from

made of boobs. And windmills went from

made of boobs. And windmills went from being a nuisance to um h I guess the

being a nuisance to um h I guess the

being a nuisance to um h I guess the source of all the problems on planet

source of all the problems on planet

source of all the problems on planet Earth.

Earth.

Earth. >> If you're in sight of a windmill, watch

>> If you're in sight of a windmill, watch

>> If you're in sight of a windmill, watch the value of your house go down by 65%.

the value of your house go down by 65%.

the value of your house go down by 65%. >> They got these big ugly suckers hanging

>> They got these big ugly suckers hanging

>> They got these big ugly suckers hanging down. They're all rustic and disgusting

down. They're all rustic and disgusting

down. They're all rustic and disgusting looking. They are so unattractive. They

looking. They are so unattractive. They

looking. They are so unattractive. They kill the birds. You want to see a bird

kill the birds. You want to see a bird

kill the birds. You want to see a bird graveyard? You just go take a look. A

graveyard? You just go take a look. A

graveyard? You just go take a look. A bird graveyard. And they say the noise

bird graveyard. And they say the noise

bird graveyard. And they say the noise causes cancer.

causes cancer.

causes cancer. >> It drives the whales freaking crazy. You

>> It drives the whales freaking crazy. You

>> It drives the whales freaking crazy. You know what it is? I want to be a whale

know what it is? I want to be a whale

know what it is? I want to be a whale psychiatrist.

>> Whale psychiatrist might be the one job

>> Whale psychiatrist might be the one job

>> Whale psychiatrist might be the one job Trump would be worse at than president.

Trump would be worse at than president.

Trump would be worse at than president. I mean, he wouldn't listen. He'd fat

I mean, he wouldn't listen. He'd fat

I mean, he wouldn't listen. He'd fat shame them. And God knows what he tried

shame them. And God knows what he tried

shame them. And God knows what he tried to do to that blow hole.

Don't picture it. So that's Trump's war

Don't picture it. So that's Trump's war

Don't picture it. So that's Trump's war on windmills. And right now it feels

on windmills. And right now it feels

on windmills. And right now it feels like he's winning. Which means that as

like he's winning. Which means that as

like he's winning. Which means that as the rest of the world embraces

the rest of the world embraces

the rest of the world embraces alternative forms of energy, America is

alternative forms of energy, America is

alternative forms of energy, America is falling behind. And if that makes you

falling behind. And if that makes you

falling behind. And if that makes you feel powerless and stressed out,

feel powerless and stressed out,

feel powerless and stressed out, remember, no matter what Trump is doing

remember, no matter what Trump is doing

remember, no matter what Trump is doing to the country, you always have the

to the country, you always have the

to the country, you always have the power to take a beat and center

power to take a beat and center

power to take a beat and center yourself.

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