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We all know Donald Trump has a long list
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We all know Donald Trump has a long list
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We all know Donald Trump has a long list
of enemies. Iran, Democrats, the
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of enemies. Iran, Democrats, the
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of enemies. Iran, Democrats, the
far-left radicals known as the Catholic
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far-left radicals known as the Catholic
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far-left radicals known as the Catholic
Church. But there's only one opponent
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Church. But there's only one opponent
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Church. But there's only one opponent
that Trump hates so much that when he
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that Trump hates so much that when he
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that Trump hates so much that when he
goes after them, he actually becomes
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goes after them, he actually becomes
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goes after them, he actually becomes
them.
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them.
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them.
>> You know, the windmills
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>> You know, the windmills
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>> You know, the windmills
windmills
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windmills
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windmills
wind.
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>> That's right. Whether it's a person from
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>> That's right. Whether it's a person from
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>> That's right. Whether it's a person from
another country or an inanimate object,
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another country or an inanimate object,
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another country or an inanimate object,
Trump will do the accent. And you you
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Trump will do the accent. And you you
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Trump will do the accent. And you you
might be saying, "Wait, Desi, aren't
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might be saying, "Wait, Desi, aren't
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might be saying, "Wait, Desi, aren't
those wind turbines?" Yes, they used to
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those wind turbines?" Yes, they used to
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those wind turbines?" Yes, they used to
be, but Trump calls them windmills, so
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be, but Trump calls them windmills, so
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be, but Trump calls them windmills, so
they're windmills now.
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they're windmills now.
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they're windmills now.
>> You know, like how this is now the Gulf
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>> You know, like how this is now the Gulf
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>> You know, like how this is now the Gulf
of America. This is the Trump Kennedy
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of America. This is the Trump Kennedy
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of America. This is the Trump Kennedy
Center, and these are healthy angles.
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And boy oh boy, Trump has gone after
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And boy oh boy, Trump has gone after
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And boy oh boy, Trump has gone after
these windmills with a vengeance. The
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these windmills with a vengeance. The
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these windmills with a vengeance. The
president signed an executive order on
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president signed an executive order on
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president signed an executive order on
his first day in office this term,
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his first day in office this term,
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his first day in office this term,
bringing federal wind projects to a
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bringing federal wind projects to a
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bringing federal wind projects to a
halt.
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halt.
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halt.
>> There are windmills all over the place.
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>> There are windmills all over the place.
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>> There are windmills all over the place.
And they are losers.
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>> Total losers. And you know what? While
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>> Total losers. And you know what? While
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>> Total losers. And you know what? While
we're at it, hey, pin wheels RIGHT OFF.
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we're at it, hey, pin wheels RIGHT OFF.
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we're at it, hey, pin wheels RIGHT OFF.
OKAY. OKAY.
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OKAY. OKAY.
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OKAY. OKAY.
YOU'RE NOT even that whimsical, you
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YOU'RE NOT even that whimsical, you
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YOU'RE NOT even that whimsical, you
glittery
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glittery
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glittery
But keep in mind, all of that took place
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But keep in mind, all of that took place
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But keep in mind, all of that took place
before the war with Iran. Trump's
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before the war with Iran. Trump's
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before the war with Iran. Trump's
obviously got more important things to
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obviously got more important things to
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obviously got more important things to
worry about than some silly windmills.
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worry about than some silly windmills.
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worry about than some silly windmills.
During a global energy crisis and his
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During a global energy crisis and his
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During a global energy crisis and his
war in Iran, the Trump administration is
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war in Iran, the Trump administration is
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war in Iran, the Trump administration is
paying a French energy company nearly $1
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paying a French energy company nearly $1
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paying a French energy company nearly $1
billion of US taxpayer money to cancel
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billion of US taxpayer money to cancel
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billion of US taxpayer money to cancel
its plans to build two offshore wind
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its plans to build two offshore wind
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its plans to build two offshore wind
farms.
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farms.
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farms.
How could you do that in the middle of
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How could you do that in the middle of
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How could you do that in the middle of
an energy crisis? Windmills should be
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an energy crisis? Windmills should be
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an energy crisis? Windmills should be
our backup plan. It's like I always say,
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our backup plan. It's like I always say,
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our backup plan. It's like I always say,
windmills are the morning after pill of
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windmills are the morning after pill of
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windmills are the morning after pill of
the straight of Hormuse.
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the straight of Hormuse.
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the straight of Hormuse.
I always say it. I do. I always say that
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I always say it. I do. I always say that
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I always say it. I do. I always say that
right before the person next to me on
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right before the person next to me on
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right before the person next to me on
the subway changes seats. And spending a
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the subway changes seats. And spending a
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the subway changes seats. And spending a
billion of our tax dollars to stop a
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billion of our tax dollars to stop a
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billion of our tax dollars to stop a
project is insane. If I want to pay a
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project is insane. If I want to pay a
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project is insane. If I want to pay a
fortune to get nothing, I'll buy season
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fortune to get nothing, I'll buy season
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fortune to get nothing, I'll buy season
tickets to the Mets.
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But also, oh,
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But also, oh,
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But also, oh,
and he's hated windmills forever. Ever
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and he's hated windmills forever. Ever
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and he's hated windmills forever. Ever
since 2012 when they hurt the thing
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since 2012 when they hurt the thing
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since 2012 when they hurt the thing
Trump loves the most. No, not that.
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Trump loves the most. No, not that.
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Trump loves the most. No, not that.
Not that either. I'm talking about his
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Not that either. I'm talking about his
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Not that either. I'm talking about his
golf courses. The focus of his outrage,
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golf courses. The focus of his outrage,
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golf courses. The focus of his outrage,
a proposed wind farm off the coast and
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a proposed wind farm off the coast and
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a proposed wind farm off the coast and
in eyesight of Trump's Aberdine golf
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in eyesight of Trump's Aberdine golf
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in eyesight of Trump's Aberdine golf
course.
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course.
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course.
>> It's one of the most serious problems
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>> It's one of the most serious problems
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>> It's one of the most serious problems
that Scotland will have or has had.
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that Scotland will have or has had.
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that Scotland will have or has had.
>> They're horrible looking structures.
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>> They're horrible looking structures.
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>> They're horrible looking structures.
They make noise.
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>> So you've said, but I'm not sure that
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>> So you've said, but I'm not sure that
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>> So you've said, but I'm not sure that
windmills make noise was a very
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windmills make noise was a very
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windmills make noise was a very
effective argument to Scotland. It's the
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effective argument to Scotland. It's the
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effective argument to Scotland. It's the
bagpipe capital of the world.
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bagpipe capital of the world.
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bagpipe capital of the world.
They love noise. Have you heard the
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They love noise. Have you heard the
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They love noise. Have you heard the
Scottish version of the Headspace app?
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>> Almost fell asleep there.
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>> Almost fell asleep there.
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>> Almost fell asleep there.
>> But Trump wasn't going down without a
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>> But Trump wasn't going down without a
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>> But Trump wasn't going down without a
fight and he took it all the way to the
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fight and he took it all the way to the
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fight and he took it all the way to the
courts.
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courts.
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courts.
>> You're in litigation. Who are you suing?
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>> You're in litigation. Who are you suing?
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>> You're in litigation. Who are you suing?
We're suing essentially Scotland. Nobody
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We're suing essentially Scotland. Nobody
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We're suing essentially Scotland. Nobody
sues a country. We are. We're suing the
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sues a country. We are. We're suing the
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sues a country. We are. We're suing the
country. We're doing VERY WELL.
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country. We're doing VERY WELL.
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country. We're doing VERY WELL.
>> OH NICE KNOWING YOU, SCOTLAND.
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>> OH NICE KNOWING YOU, SCOTLAND.
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>> OH NICE KNOWING YOU, SCOTLAND.
Because when Donald Trump goes to court,
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Because when Donald Trump goes to court,
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Because when Donald Trump goes to court,
it always goes exactly the way he
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it always goes exactly the way he
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it always goes exactly the way he
planned.
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planned.
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planned.
>> In a unanimous judgment, the court
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>> In a unanimous judgment, the court
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>> In a unanimous judgment, the court
rejects both challenges.
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rejects both challenges.
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rejects both challenges.
>> Yes.
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>> Yes. The UK Supreme Court said, "We
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>> Yes. The UK Supreme Court said, "We
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>> Yes. The UK Supreme Court said, "We
think this is stupid and we wear these
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think this is stupid and we wear these
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think this is stupid and we wear these
things to work."
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things to work."
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things to work."
So obviously Trump moved on from this
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So obviously Trump moved on from this
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So obviously Trump moved on from this
defeat with his usual grace and
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defeat with his usual grace and
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defeat with his usual grace and
humility. By which I mean he held on to
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humility. By which I mean he held on to
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humility. By which I mean he held on to
this grudge like it was a Nobel Prize
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this grudge like it was a Nobel Prize
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this grudge like it was a Nobel Prize
made of boobs. And windmills went from
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made of boobs. And windmills went from
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made of boobs. And windmills went from
being a nuisance to um h I guess the
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being a nuisance to um h I guess the
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being a nuisance to um h I guess the
source of all the problems on planet
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source of all the problems on planet
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source of all the problems on planet
Earth.
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Earth.
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Earth.
>> If you're in sight of a windmill, watch
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>> If you're in sight of a windmill, watch
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>> If you're in sight of a windmill, watch
the value of your house go down by 65%.
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the value of your house go down by 65%.
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the value of your house go down by 65%.
>> They got these big ugly suckers hanging
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>> They got these big ugly suckers hanging
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>> They got these big ugly suckers hanging
down. They're all rustic and disgusting
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down. They're all rustic and disgusting
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down. They're all rustic and disgusting
looking. They are so unattractive. They
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looking. They are so unattractive. They
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looking. They are so unattractive. They
kill the birds. You want to see a bird
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kill the birds. You want to see a bird
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kill the birds. You want to see a bird
graveyard? You just go take a look. A
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graveyard? You just go take a look. A
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graveyard? You just go take a look. A
bird graveyard. And they say the noise
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bird graveyard. And they say the noise
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bird graveyard. And they say the noise
causes cancer.
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causes cancer.
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causes cancer.
>> It drives the whales freaking crazy. You
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>> It drives the whales freaking crazy. You
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>> It drives the whales freaking crazy. You
know what it is? I want to be a whale
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know what it is? I want to be a whale
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know what it is? I want to be a whale
psychiatrist.
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>> Whale psychiatrist might be the one job
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>> Whale psychiatrist might be the one job
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>> Whale psychiatrist might be the one job
Trump would be worse at than president.
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Trump would be worse at than president.
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Trump would be worse at than president.
I mean, he wouldn't listen. He'd fat
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I mean, he wouldn't listen. He'd fat
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I mean, he wouldn't listen. He'd fat
shame them. And God knows what he tried
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shame them. And God knows what he tried
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shame them. And God knows what he tried
to do to that blow hole.
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Don't picture it. So that's Trump's war
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Don't picture it. So that's Trump's war
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Don't picture it. So that's Trump's war
on windmills. And right now it feels
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on windmills. And right now it feels
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on windmills. And right now it feels
like he's winning. Which means that as
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like he's winning. Which means that as
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like he's winning. Which means that as
the rest of the world embraces
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the rest of the world embraces
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the rest of the world embraces
alternative forms of energy, America is
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alternative forms of energy, America is
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alternative forms of energy, America is
falling behind. And if that makes you
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falling behind. And if that makes you
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falling behind. And if that makes you
feel powerless and stressed out,
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feel powerless and stressed out,
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feel powerless and stressed out,
remember, no matter what Trump is doing
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remember, no matter what Trump is doing
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remember, no matter what Trump is doing
to the country, you always have the
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to the country, you always have the
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to the country, you always have the
power to take a beat and center
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power to take a beat and center
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power to take a beat and center
yourself.
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