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[???]
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GAVIN: No, that's not for you.
3
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That's not for you! That's not for you!
4
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My depth perception's all out of whack!
5
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[CHUCKLES]
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Ah, ah. Huh.
7
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Oh, my. Ah!
8
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[GRUNTS]
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Excuse me, officer.
10
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I need to make a call.
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Have a heart, Stace. Give them a sec.
12
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I know you're in here.
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I can smell you.
14
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[ROARS] [YELLS]
15
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[ROARS]
16
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Are you sure about this?
17
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I never wanna see anything again.
18
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[GRUNTS]
19
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[YELLS]
20
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So, what are you guys doing tonight?
21
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Uh, hang on a second, Stace. Out of my room.
22
00:01:03,340 --> 00:01:05,500
Take that off. You're not wearing my clothes.
23
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Your body's like a raw piece of chicken.
24
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Oh, welcome to the wonderful world of salmonella.
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Every time Archie borrows
my clothes, buttons get loose,
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everything smells like bratwurst and body spray.
27
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What were you saying? Just wondering
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what you're doing on our first weekend apart
29
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since we started hanging out.
30
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Well, Archie and I are making
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yet another epic New York food trek.
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He heard about this place that has
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the world's best soup dumplings. Xiao Long Bao.
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What? And then we're going
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to some lounge for an avant-garde burlesque show.
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Like Hooters for sophisticated people.
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Like Hooters for sophisticated people.
38
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Heh. Whoo, that's sounds fun.
39
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What are you guys doing?
40
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They found a baby skeleton in the quarry.
41
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We can't go night swimming anymore.
42
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Stop exaggerating. It wasn't a baby.
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It was a tiny horse.
44
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I heard it was a 45-year-old
45
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with that Benjamin Button disease.
46
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Sorry for exaggerating.
It was a mythical quarry creature
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that aged backwards.
48
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Anyway, I'm stuck in Dullsburg
49
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with nothing to do.
50
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Just here to fix the a.c. About time.
51
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What? No, I was just...
52
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Hey, hey, hey! Dude, that's my deodorant!
53
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Like our underarms are kissing. Not a toothbrush.
54
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What? Sorry. Can we talk later?
55
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Everything is getting annoying here.
56
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[WHIRRING] Uh, yeah.
57
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[WHIRRING] Sure.
58
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Uh, later
59
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or tomorrow, I guess.
60
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Hi, honey. Well, have fun
61
00:02:21,763 --> 00:02:23,166
at your hipster strip club,
62
00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:26,072
and maybe you'll meet
the woman of your dreams. Heh.
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00:02:26,206 --> 00:02:28,977
Yeah, no. Heh, well, fingers crossed.
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Yeah.
65
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So talk to you later...
66
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I was- Okay. Bye.
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[SIGHS]
68
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That was not a quality hang-up.
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[WHIRRING] Felt unfinished.
70
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Like when you were little
and you'd make boom-boom
71
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then you'd get in the car,
72
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realize there was still a bit left?
73
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Don't sweat it, Gav.
74
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Long distance relationships can be tricky.
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Like trying to avoid eye
contact with the homeless.
76
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Okay, stop. This is our night.
77
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Not time to get neurotic about your girlfriend.
78
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Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend.
79
00:03:01,910 --> 00:03:05,951
I hope she is, but I don't know.
It's early still, and I-
80
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:08,056
You needed that. He needed that.
81
00:03:09,358 --> 00:03:11,196
Focus. Tonight's mission:
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Eat soup dumplings, see chest dumplings.
83
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Double dumplings. You with me or against me?
84
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With you. Gonna kill it tonight.
85
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Gonna kill it tonight.
86
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BOTH: ? Gonna kill it Kill it, kill it tonight ?
87
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? I hope murder's not illegal
'Cause we'll kill it tonight ?
88
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BOTH: ? We're gonna kill
it, kill it Kill it tonight ?
89
00:03:28,263 --> 00:03:31,669
It's a miracle either
of those boys ever gets laid.
90
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[SIGHS] Great.
91
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Gavin is out in the city,
92
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and I am totally bored in rural America.
93
00:03:37,716 --> 00:03:39,985
You know I think of Dillsburg as pre-urban,
94
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:43,260
but post-rural, like a dead
body that's about to go full zombie.
95
00:03:43,393 --> 00:03:46,733
[SIGHS] I'm not gonna see
him again until next weekend.
96
00:03:46,866 --> 00:03:49,705
That's 14 days apart. He's
gonna forget what I look like.
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Don't be silly.
98
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You have the kind of blue eyes
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that haunt sailors in the afterlife.
100
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He'll remember.
101
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[SIGHS]
102
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Okay, you are sighing like a soccer mom
103
00:03:59,926 --> 00:04:01,162
at a Ryan Gosling movie.
104
00:04:01,296 --> 00:04:02,346
You need to buck up.
105
00:04:02,431 --> 00:04:03,571
Time for a lady's night.
106
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Like back in the day,
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high school style.
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Little of this,
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little of this.
110
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Nice. You girls are gonna
blow up balloons and eat ice cream?
111
00:04:12,384 --> 00:04:14,555
Well, you're right about the ice cream part.
112
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:17,795
And to cap off the night,
a little trucker's delight.
113
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Finished! Oh.
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[GUN COCKS] We're 100 percent ready
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to kill those raccoons
116
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that have been bothering you. Yay!
117
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I've got a perfect place in
the backyard to burn the bodies.
118
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Okay. Going out sounds good.
119
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Do you have any balloons?
120
00:04:33,093 --> 00:04:35,263
No, but I got a contact at the party store.
121
00:04:35,397 --> 00:04:37,935
Don't tell me you're talking
at Dave Coaches again.
122
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That guy puts the P in creepy.
123
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Do you wanna get judgmental,
or do you want to get high?
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Gonna kill it tonight.
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BOTH: Gonna kill it tonight.
126
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? Gonna kill, kill- ?
127
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[CHUCKLES] WOMAN: Hey.
128
00:04:49,725 --> 00:04:52,031
Evening, ladies. Have a good one.
129
00:04:52,164 --> 00:04:54,602
Sorry, I- Won't happen again. Dude, not cool.
130
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This better be good. I set
the bar pretty high last time
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with tamales in Sunset Park.
They were impressive.
132
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I got a feeling these dumplings
are gonna shake up the world.
133
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Hop in the toddler's seat. Daddy's driving.
134
00:05:05,725 --> 00:05:06,858
WOMAN: Okay- Wha-
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00:05:06,859 --> 00:05:08,396
Hey. Have a good one.
136
00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:11,302
Everything okay? You seem
to be having trouble walking.
137
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Shut up, dude.
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Dave Coaches came through
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00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,400
with an address to get the stuff.
140
00:05:15,477 --> 00:05:18,216
We need to tell him we're
friends with the Big Magoo.
141
00:05:18,349 --> 00:05:21,155
That was his stripper
name when he was back in Tampa.
142
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Did not know he was a Floridian. Shall we?
143
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[CELL PHONE DINGS] Oh.
144
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Heh. What an ass.
145
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Oh, my God! You meant literally.
146
00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:34,949
Wow, that is not an easy angle to get.
147
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He's got those long arms.
148
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All right, guys, we're heading out.
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Good luck with the raccoons.
150
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:41,996
Thanks, Pumpkin.
151
00:05:42,131 --> 00:05:43,266
We're gonna need it.
152
00:05:43,399 --> 00:05:44,635
Raccoons have sonar.
153
00:05:44,769 --> 00:05:46,672
I think you mean bats.
154
00:05:46,806 --> 00:05:48,209
I do mean bats.
155
00:05:48,343 --> 00:05:50,280
You know, I think I'm gonna text Gavin,
156
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clear things up after that phone call.
157
00:05:52,274 --> 00:05:53,886
A picture's worth a thousand words.
158
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Wanna forward Dave's? Do
not touch me with that thing.
159
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[???]
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[CELL PHONE DINGS]
161
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,704
"Dear Gavin, you smell pretty.
162
00:06:02,838 --> 00:06:05,577
I want you to pour your
love gas in my baby machine.
163
00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:06,850
Stacey-cakes." Shut up.
164
00:06:06,913 --> 00:06:09,185
"Have a great night."
165
00:06:09,318 --> 00:06:10,818
What's that supposed to mean?
166
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Uh, have a great night.
167
00:06:12,224 --> 00:06:13,784
Yeah, but maybe it's sarcastic.
168
00:06:13,860 --> 00:06:16,566
Like, "Have a great night
at that strip club, douche."
169
00:06:16,699 --> 00:06:20,040
She didn't use exclamation mark.
Then it'd be sarcastic.
170
00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:22,176
Any time a girl uses an exclamation mark,
171
00:06:22,177 --> 00:06:24,782
it basically means, "Stab yourself in the face."
172
00:06:24,915 --> 00:06:27,087
Dude, this is it.
173
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Looks promising.
174
00:06:29,325 --> 00:06:31,996
With a location this bad, it's gotta be good.
175
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:34,201
Uh... Oh, secret entrance.
176
00:06:34,335 --> 00:06:35,385
[BUZZES]
177
00:06:39,011 --> 00:06:40,247
Xiao Long Bao?
178
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:46,325
It's happening, just as I foretold.
179
00:06:47,661 --> 00:06:52,271
Oh, yeah. It's so fresh and authentic.
180
00:06:52,272 --> 00:06:54,741
It's gonna be delicious. This really doesn't feel
181
00:06:54,742 --> 00:06:56,379
like a restaurant. Don't be na�ve.
182
00:06:56,512 --> 00:06:58,912
You're not hip to the underground New York scene.
183
00:06:58,913 --> 00:07:00,386
You know dating country girls,
184
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,291
I know cutting-edge urban cuisine.
185
00:07:05,730 --> 00:07:06,780
Hi.
186
00:07:09,438 --> 00:07:11,876
Okay, we are in a Chinese family's living room.
187
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:13,980
I think you're right. [CACKLING]
188
00:07:16,252 --> 00:07:17,955
[HORNS HONKING]
189
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:20,527
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
190
00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:22,197
[LAUGHING]
191
00:07:22,331 --> 00:07:24,435
Bart. Funny, right?
192
00:07:24,568 --> 00:07:26,105
Archie?
193
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,098
She must know where the restaurant is.
194
00:07:28,209 --> 00:07:30,647
I'm downloading a translator app on my phone.
195
00:07:30,780 --> 00:07:33,052
Argh. Damn, voice mail.
196
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,855
Hey, Stacey, just checking in.
197
00:07:34,989 --> 00:07:40,033
But you're probably out
at a rager or birthing a foal.
198
00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:42,026
Just call me back when you get a chance.
199
00:07:42,137 --> 00:07:43,187
All right. Peace out.
200
00:07:43,206 --> 00:07:44,708
Peace out? Ooh...
201
00:07:44,842 --> 00:07:47,447
Like a desperate plea
from a man who fell overboard
202
00:07:47,581 --> 00:07:49,485
on a single's cruise. Give me. No, man.
203
00:07:49,618 --> 00:07:51,255
Yeah, no, it's for your own good.
204
00:07:51,389 --> 00:07:54,695
Okay? Let's not argue in front of the Fengs.
205
00:07:54,828 --> 00:07:56,365
[CHICKEN CACKLING]
206
00:07:56,499 --> 00:07:59,304
[WOMAN SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
207
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,075
Wait. [CACKLING]
208
00:08:01,208 --> 00:08:02,310
No.
209
00:08:02,444 --> 00:08:04,081
ARCHIE: We can't let this happen.
210
00:08:04,214 --> 00:08:05,650
No. We gotta save it, man.
211
00:08:05,784 --> 00:08:06,834
GAVIN: Yeah.
212
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:08,489
Go. Me?
213
00:08:08,623 --> 00:08:09,992
Me? No. You go.
214
00:08:10,126 --> 00:08:11,295
You've got great hands.
215
00:08:11,429 --> 00:08:13,633
I got the face. True.
216
00:08:13,766 --> 00:08:14,902
Okay, go.
217
00:08:14,903 --> 00:08:16,271
[CACKLING] [WOMAN YELLING]
218
00:08:16,272 --> 00:08:17,507
ARCHIE: Oh, hey! Sorry!
219
00:08:17,641 --> 00:08:19,111
Okay. I'll give you 20 bucks.
220
00:08:19,244 --> 00:08:20,413
Okay, 20 bucks!
221
00:08:20,414 --> 00:08:21,981
[ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
222
00:08:21,982 --> 00:08:23,119
GAVIN: No, no, no!
223
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:24,822
ARCHIE: Okay. GAVIN: Go, go, go!
224
00:08:24,955 --> 00:08:28,062
Here, look, look, look! [YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
225
00:08:28,196 --> 00:08:31,502
STACEY: Crap. How did I miss his call? Peace out?
226
00:08:31,635 --> 00:08:34,741
What the hell is that? Hippie talk.
227
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:37,180
Argh. Voice mail.
228
00:08:37,314 --> 00:08:39,654
Why did he ask me to
call him and then not answer?
229
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:42,657
I don't know. Why would you
call him and not leave a message?
230
00:08:42,791 --> 00:08:44,828
This is it. Yeah. It's hard to tell
231
00:08:44,962 --> 00:08:47,868
if we're playing games
or cell reception just sucks.
232
00:08:48,002 --> 00:08:49,304
It's a tangled web, Stace.
233
00:08:49,438 --> 00:08:51,538
Are you sure this is the place? MAN: Coming.
234
00:08:51,575 --> 00:08:54,081
Dave has lied to me, stolen my credit cards,
235
00:08:54,082 --> 00:08:55,916
once he gave me a withering infection,
236
00:08:55,917 --> 00:08:57,537
but when it comes to doing wrong,
237
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:58,956
he's never done me wrong.
238
00:08:59,091 --> 00:09:00,727
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]
239
00:09:00,860 --> 00:09:01,996
Hey.
240
00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:03,566
Um, sorry, wrong address.
241
00:09:03,699 --> 00:09:05,803
No problem. The Big Magoo sent us.
242
00:09:07,174 --> 00:09:08,609
Oh, right.
243
00:09:08,743 --> 00:09:11,415
The Big Magoo. You guys want steroids, right?
244
00:09:11,549 --> 00:09:13,686
Yeah, I just got some Osaka. It's good.
245
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:16,358
Karate quality. This one'll
be able to lift a truck.
246
00:09:16,492 --> 00:09:19,631
Come on. It's okay, officer. It's...
247
00:09:19,765 --> 00:09:21,035
[GROANS]
248
00:09:21,168 --> 00:09:24,575
Damn. I did it again. Sorry.
Sometimes when I get ripped,
249
00:09:24,708 --> 00:09:26,545
I forget I'm still wearing my blues.
250
00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,384
No worries, ladies, Officer
Buckley's off the clock.
251
00:09:29,518 --> 00:09:32,757
Phil is here, and Phil sells drugs. Come on.
252
00:09:35,763 --> 00:09:37,601
Yeah.
253
00:09:37,734 --> 00:09:40,139
What are you doing? Nothing.
254
00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:41,774
You're sniffing our son's pillow.
255
00:09:41,775 --> 00:09:44,081
I took one year of psych, but that's weird.
256
00:09:44,214 --> 00:09:46,552
You know what I think is weird?
257
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:50,326
Gavin still has this. His Bigfoot costume?
258
00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:52,560
What was that? Halloween, seventh grade?
259
00:09:52,564 --> 00:09:55,136
Eighth grade. Seventh grade was Princess Jasmine.
260
00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:57,072
Right. That was an interesting autumn.
261
00:09:57,073 --> 00:10:00,179
Stop snooping, Pam. I'm not snooping.
262
00:10:00,313 --> 00:10:03,019
You remember how long
it took me to sew this thing?
263
00:10:03,152 --> 00:10:06,458
You feeling a little empty
nest-y there, Mama Bird?
264
00:10:06,592 --> 00:10:09,731
Hmm? Does this have anything to do
265
00:10:09,865 --> 00:10:12,837
with how much Gavin likes Stacey?
266
00:10:12,971 --> 00:10:16,512
How can you be simultaneously
so smart and so stupid?
267
00:10:16,645 --> 00:10:18,985
I got brain damage from a falling encyclopedia.
268
00:10:19,117 --> 00:10:20,167
[CHUCKLES] Mm.
269
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:21,573
GAVIN: My God. ARCHIE: Yeah.
270
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,159
Oh, my God.
271
00:10:23,292 --> 00:10:26,565
Ah... We saved a life! I gotta hand it to you,
272
00:10:26,699 --> 00:10:28,869
you were quick back there, like a puma.
273
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:31,275
No, you were like a hairy Bruce Willis.
274
00:10:31,408 --> 00:10:32,610
That was awesome.
275
00:10:32,744 --> 00:10:34,815
Now, reality is setting in a little bit.
276
00:10:34,948 --> 00:10:37,287
What are we gonna do with the chicken?
277
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,224
Give me back my phone. Okay.
278
00:10:39,358 --> 00:10:41,762
Let's go to the restaurant, get dumplings in us,
279
00:10:41,895 --> 00:10:43,635
then we'll figure out our next move.
280
00:10:43,699 --> 00:10:46,138
Damn, missed Stacey's call.
281
00:10:47,407 --> 00:10:49,211
Voice mail again. Thanks a lot.
282
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,615
Gotta give me a break with the Stacey thing.
283
00:10:51,749 --> 00:10:54,449
Just be in the moment. You're
always thinking about her.
284
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:57,394
Not true. When you're
with her, ever think about me?
285
00:10:57,527 --> 00:10:59,998
Yeah. Whenever I need to slow things down,
286
00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,670
I think about you French-kissing Hitler.
287
00:11:02,804 --> 00:11:04,241
Whoa. That's not funny.
288
00:11:04,374 --> 00:11:05,910
Not cool.
289
00:11:05,911 --> 00:11:08,181
And not even remotely historically accurate.
290
00:11:08,182 --> 00:11:10,453
Fine, I'll go back to picturing you
291
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,157
shaving Donald Trump's back.
292
00:11:13,392 --> 00:11:14,728
Dang.
293
00:11:14,861 --> 00:11:16,432
All I can make are proper nouns
294
00:11:16,565 --> 00:11:18,302
or bad things to call black people.
295
00:11:18,436 --> 00:11:20,106
This is nice. It's peaceful.
296
00:11:20,239 --> 00:11:22,477
Yeah. No better way to spend a Friday night
297
00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:26,218
than playing board games
with your dead husband's brother.
298
00:11:26,351 --> 00:11:28,289
[CLANGING] [CAT HOWLS]
299
00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:29,858
Raccoons.
300
00:11:30,593 --> 00:11:31,995
[GUN COCKS]
301
00:11:32,130 --> 00:11:33,699
It's just a kid on a bicycle. No.
302
00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:35,269
It's just a kid on a bicycle.
303
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,140
Are you sure? Pretty sure.
304
00:11:37,273 --> 00:11:39,193
Ringing a bell and carrying a pizza box.
305
00:11:39,244 --> 00:11:40,804
Wouldn't put anything past him.
306
00:11:40,847 --> 00:11:42,717
I once saw a raccoon paddling a canoe.
307
00:11:42,851 --> 00:11:45,923
Granted, it was an animatronic
raccoon at a carnival.
308
00:11:46,058 --> 00:11:48,062
I can only assume it was based on science.
309
00:11:48,195 --> 00:11:50,466
You know, maybe Stacey had the right idea.
310
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,003
It's boring here.
311
00:11:52,136 --> 00:11:53,606
Let's go out and get some air,
312
00:11:53,739 --> 00:11:54,939
maybe some ice cream too.
313
00:11:54,941 --> 00:11:56,478
Yeah, that's a nice idea.
314
00:11:56,612 --> 00:12:00,786
Plus, it will lull the raccoons
into a false sense of security.
315
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,792
I guess this house will be people-free tonight!
316
00:12:06,198 --> 00:12:07,700
Okay, Brian.
317
00:12:07,701 --> 00:12:09,203
Sure you don't wanna hang out?
318
00:12:09,204 --> 00:12:11,207
Got a ton of peanut butter we confiscated
319
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:14,014
from some Mexicans running
a counterfeit store. Chunky.
320
00:12:14,147 --> 00:12:15,783
All good, Phil. Keep it legal.
321
00:12:15,917 --> 00:12:17,954
Almost always do.
322
00:12:18,088 --> 00:12:20,726
Keep it quiet, or I'll find you.
323
00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:22,997
[LAUGHING]
324
00:12:23,866 --> 00:12:25,469
And now I have no reception.
325
00:12:25,603 --> 00:12:28,208
I had it here a second ago. How does that happen?
326
00:12:28,342 --> 00:12:29,578
The ionosphere.
327
00:12:29,711 --> 00:12:31,982
It's complex and highly charged,
328
00:12:31,983 --> 00:12:34,420
much like your relationship with your boyfriend.
329
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,761
He's not my boyfriend, at least not officially.
330
00:12:36,892 --> 00:12:38,462
I don't know what we are exactly.
331
00:12:38,596 --> 00:12:40,032
I know what we are exactly.
332
00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:43,372
Two girls about to make some terrible choices.
333
00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:44,608
[???]
334
00:12:44,741 --> 00:12:46,211
Are you doing the angry walk?
335
00:12:46,345 --> 00:12:48,515
You are! You're actually mad right now.
336
00:12:48,649 --> 00:12:50,486
No, I'm doing the regular walk.
337
00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:52,023
You have no right to be upset
338
00:12:52,156 --> 00:12:53,959
because I think about Stacey.
339
00:12:54,094 --> 00:12:56,765
I have every right. I have
all the rights in the world,
340
00:12:56,766 --> 00:12:58,835
plus rights from distant solar systems.
341
00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:00,972
[CELL PHONE RINGING] Trying to have a conv-
342
00:13:00,973 --> 00:13:02,477
It's Stacey. Argh, crap.
343
00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:03,779
Hi, Mom, what's up?
344
00:13:03,912 --> 00:13:06,218
Hi. Your dad and I were wondering
345
00:13:06,351 --> 00:13:07,431
when you might be home.
346
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,722
Uh, not for a while.
347
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:11,128
Archie got us lost, we adopted some poultry.
348
00:13:12,163 --> 00:13:14,167
A chicken?
349
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:15,350
[???]
350
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:18,475
To Officer Phil and his awesome stuff.
351
00:13:18,609 --> 00:13:19,659
Mm.
352
00:13:19,678 --> 00:13:21,181
This ice cream is amazing.
353
00:13:21,314 --> 00:13:25,389
I wanna find the cow that
made it and kiss its teats.
354
00:13:25,523 --> 00:13:28,395
Heads up. Trucker's delight.
355
00:13:28,529 --> 00:13:31,368
One, two, three.
356
00:13:31,501 --> 00:13:33,772
Whoo! Yeah, big fella!
357
00:13:33,906 --> 00:13:35,743
Tell your friends! [CHUCKLES]
358
00:13:35,876 --> 00:13:37,280
[HORN HONKING] Yeah!
359
00:13:37,413 --> 00:13:39,217
Yeah! [LAUGHS]
360
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:41,288
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
361
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:44,426
[SIGHS]
362
00:13:44,427 --> 00:13:46,398
That was more fun in high school.
363
00:13:47,567 --> 00:13:49,104
Okay, Mom.
364
00:13:49,237 --> 00:13:51,475
I'll see you in a few hours. I love you. Bye.
365
00:13:51,608 --> 00:13:52,910
How can you take a call
366
00:13:53,045 --> 00:13:55,385
in the middle of a fight?
I thought it was Stacey.
367
00:13:55,416 --> 00:13:58,188
I don't wanna fight. It's
hard with you holding a chicken.
368
00:13:58,189 --> 00:14:00,325
Your hair's making me
laugh, the way it's bouncing.
369
00:14:00,326 --> 00:14:02,897
Then allow me to make it easier.
370
00:14:03,031 --> 00:14:04,768
Tonight was just you and me.
371
00:14:04,901 --> 00:14:07,006
Man to man, eating pork, telling lies.
372
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:09,711
Stacey's always here. Even when she's not here.
373
00:14:09,844 --> 00:14:11,214
Okay. That makes no sense.
374
00:14:11,348 --> 00:14:13,786
Ease up on your grip.
I know it sounds ridiculous,
375
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:15,723
but you're choking your chicken.
376
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:18,362
[CHICKEN CACKLING] Archie, come on!
377
00:14:20,599 --> 00:14:22,003
Thanks for waiting, dude.
378
00:14:22,136 --> 00:14:24,841
I totally could've gotten wilded by some teens.
379
00:14:24,974 --> 00:14:26,578
Golden Dumpling Pavilion.
380
00:14:26,711 --> 00:14:28,749
Huh.
381
00:14:28,882 --> 00:14:30,753
Looks like they had a little fire.
382
00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:32,023
Screw it.
383
00:14:32,156 --> 00:14:34,093
I give up. Let's go home. What?
384
00:14:34,094 --> 00:14:35,762
Don't you wanna go to that lounge?
385
00:14:35,763 --> 00:14:38,402
It's a Hooters for sophisticated
people, remember.
386
00:14:38,535 --> 00:14:40,973
Nah, it's over, man.
387
00:14:41,107 --> 00:14:43,045
They broke us.
388
00:14:43,046 --> 00:14:44,980
[CHICKEN CACKLES] Oh! What the hell, man?
389
00:14:44,981 --> 00:14:48,055
Sorry, that was harder than I meant.
But I owed you that.
390
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,059
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
391
00:14:50,192 --> 00:14:52,096
I'm gonna turn off my phone for you.
392
00:14:52,230 --> 00:14:53,432
Really? Mm-hm.
393
00:14:53,565 --> 00:14:55,636
Not just airplane mode? Completely off.
394
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:58,041
Takes a sec. That little thing is spinning.
395
00:14:58,175 --> 00:14:59,677
Oh, all right. Off.
396
00:14:59,678 --> 00:15:01,981
That's the nicest thing anyone's done for me.
397
00:15:01,982 --> 00:15:05,956
Okay. So this one Chinese
joint is closed, but who cares?
398
00:15:06,091 --> 00:15:08,061
We'll just go to that one. Look at this.
399
00:15:08,195 --> 00:15:10,232
Second floor Chinese? Mm-hm.
400
00:15:10,366 --> 00:15:12,303
Are you nuts? That's not safe.
401
00:15:12,436 --> 00:15:14,776
You know what happens in second floor Chinese?
402
00:15:14,841 --> 00:15:16,511
Nobody does.
403
00:15:16,645 --> 00:15:18,815
Let's find out. [CHICKEN CACKLING]
404
00:15:18,949 --> 00:15:19,999
[???]
405
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:21,192
You beautiful bastard.
406
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,657
[BOTH LAUGH]
407
00:15:23,692 --> 00:15:24,894
Stay.
408
00:15:25,029 --> 00:15:26,598
Good chicken.
409
00:15:27,867 --> 00:15:29,537
Yeah!
410
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:32,109
Oh.
411
00:15:37,086 --> 00:15:39,223
[GAVIN CLEARS THROAT]
412
00:15:39,357 --> 00:15:44,701
I have $189, and my boy wants to party.
413
00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:47,073
Whoo!
414
00:15:47,074 --> 00:15:49,409
Thought there'd be more
415
00:15:49,410 --> 00:15:51,514
of a reaction. We're dead.
416
00:15:51,648 --> 00:15:54,228
GWEN & BRIAN: ? She'll
be coming round the mountain ?
417
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,240
? She'll be coming Round the mountain ?
418
00:15:56,291 --> 00:15:58,161
? When she comes ? ? Oh, here she comes ?
419
00:15:58,295 --> 00:15:59,964
Still no bars.
420
00:16:00,099 --> 00:16:03,372
What if he's trying to
reach me? What if he's not?
421
00:16:03,373 --> 00:16:06,276
"Have a great night"? I
should've used exclamation mark
422
00:16:06,277 --> 00:16:08,280
He'd have known I wasn't being sarcastic.
423
00:16:08,281 --> 00:16:09,917
Yeah, that would've helped.
424
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,154
Oh, it's go time.
425
00:16:11,287 --> 00:16:12,337
[???]
426
00:16:12,456 --> 00:16:14,660
Release the krakens!
427
00:16:16,331 --> 00:16:19,070
? She'll be coming Round the mountain- ?
428
00:16:19,203 --> 00:16:22,043
Oh, God!
429
00:16:22,176 --> 00:16:23,979
Oh, was that...?
430
00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,451
Yes, yes, it was.
431
00:16:29,657 --> 00:16:31,694
Here's the plan. Back away real slow,
432
00:16:31,828 --> 00:16:35,235
but if you see any throwing
stars or numchucks, sprint.
433
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,206
What are you doing?
434
00:16:37,339 --> 00:16:39,710
What are you doing?
435
00:16:39,844 --> 00:16:40,894
[COIN CLINKING]
436
00:16:40,913 --> 00:16:42,716
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]
437
00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:43,900
[EXHALES]
438
00:16:46,124 --> 00:16:47,726
Hello.
439
00:16:48,762 --> 00:16:50,899
Are you with me or against me?
440
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,349
With you.
441
00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:00,919
Uh, yeah.
442
00:17:04,193 --> 00:17:06,197
I can't believe I flashed my mother.
443
00:17:06,331 --> 00:17:08,335
Stupid Stacey.
444
00:17:09,337 --> 00:17:10,839
I'm gonna end up like her.
445
00:17:10,973 --> 00:17:12,476
Lonely and alone,
446
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:15,816
wandering through the night
getting flashed by morons.
447
00:17:15,949 --> 00:17:17,620
So you're pretty high, huh?
448
00:17:17,753 --> 00:17:20,626
[SIREN CHIRPS]
449
00:17:20,759 --> 00:17:23,399
Okay, relax, relax, It's
probably just Officer Phil.
450
00:17:23,532 --> 00:17:27,039
I got a report of drug use and public lewdness.
451
00:17:27,173 --> 00:17:28,241
IDs, ladies.
452
00:17:28,375 --> 00:17:30,045
No, no, no.
453
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,581
I'm not going back inside.
454
00:17:31,714 --> 00:17:33,018
Got you!
455
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:34,152
[PHIL LAUGHING]
456
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:35,154
Phil!
457
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,724
Ha-ha-ha. Whoa!
458
00:17:36,858 --> 00:17:38,628
You cops scared the crap out of us.
459
00:17:38,762 --> 00:17:41,601
Cop, singular. I just met
Lester at the ice cream shop.
460
00:17:41,734 --> 00:17:43,438
Guy's a hoot. Ha-ha-ha. Yeah.
461
00:17:43,439 --> 00:17:44,940
Is the little one all right?
462
00:17:44,941 --> 00:17:46,981
She's shivering like a rabbit. Not really.
463
00:17:47,079 --> 00:17:49,839
We're too high to drive,
and she needs cell service stat.
464
00:17:49,951 --> 00:17:52,189
Can you give us a ride? Hey,
465
00:17:52,323 --> 00:17:55,462
I'm here to protect and serve and party!
466
00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:56,731
[LAUGHING] All right.
467
00:17:56,864 --> 00:17:59,203
Let's roll! Let's rock 'n' roll!
468
00:17:59,337 --> 00:18:00,387
Come on, Les. Come on!
469
00:18:00,405 --> 00:18:01,541
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
470
00:18:01,674 --> 00:18:04,313
Thanks. Sorry I lost it before.
471
00:18:04,447 --> 00:18:05,587
Turn your phone back on.
472
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:08,989
Uh, yeah, I already did. Nothing.
473
00:18:09,123 --> 00:18:12,296
But at least we're hanging out
with actual ladies of the night.
474
00:18:12,297 --> 00:18:14,499
Something we can tell our grandkids about.
475
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:15,869
Hang in there, buddy.
476
00:18:16,004 --> 00:18:19,210
[SATURN MISSILES' "LIFE'S A HOLIDAY" PLAYING]
477
00:18:19,211 --> 00:18:20,544
STACEY: Still no service.
478
00:18:20,545 --> 00:18:22,383
[SIREN WAILING]
479
00:18:22,516 --> 00:18:25,122
? When I wake I see... ?
480
00:18:25,123 --> 00:18:26,256
Do it.
481
00:18:26,257 --> 00:18:27,326
[YELLS]
482
00:18:27,459 --> 00:18:29,063
? Somebody else's dream ?
483
00:18:29,196 --> 00:18:31,734
? Playing on a screen ?
484
00:18:31,868 --> 00:18:34,407
NESSA: Hey, road! STACEY: Watch the road!
485
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,844
[ROARS] [YELLS]
486
00:18:36,978 --> 00:18:40,118
? And all those dreams Of mine... ?
487
00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:41,621
I got four bars!
488
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,625
? It's all left behind ?
489
00:18:43,758 --> 00:18:44,960
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
490
00:18:45,095 --> 00:18:46,898
No, that's not for you.
491
00:18:47,032 --> 00:18:48,535
That's not for you.
492
00:18:48,536 --> 00:18:49,903
No, please, give me that!
493
00:18:49,904 --> 00:18:52,209
Hello! We're having a party, baby!
494
00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:53,644
No, that's my girlfriend!
495
00:18:53,645 --> 00:18:54,747
Hello, Stacey?
496
00:18:54,748 --> 00:18:55,848
Hello?
497
00:18:55,849 --> 00:18:57,486
Stacey- Wait- Gavin?
498
00:18:57,619 --> 00:18:59,957
What? I can't hear anything.
499
00:19:00,092 --> 00:19:01,142
Gavin.
500
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,210
Stacey?
501
00:19:02,329 --> 00:19:05,035
[GROANS]
502
00:19:05,168 --> 00:19:07,773
I think I messed it up
on the phone with Stacey again.
503
00:19:07,906 --> 00:19:09,443
ARCHIE: Sucks, man.
504
00:19:09,577 --> 00:19:11,881
He just called me his girlfriend.
505
00:19:12,015 --> 00:19:13,551
Nice.
506
00:19:16,157 --> 00:19:18,094
[CELL PHONE BUZZING]
507
00:19:20,265 --> 00:19:23,938
? We shake the sleep Away... ?
508
00:19:24,073 --> 00:19:26,144
[CHUCKLES] Light it up, Phil.
509
00:19:26,277 --> 00:19:27,417
Stacey got a boyfriend.
510
00:19:27,418 --> 00:19:28,514
[WHOOPING]
511
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:29,650
[SIREN WAILING]
512
00:19:29,784 --> 00:19:31,187
NESSA: Yeah!
513
00:19:33,825 --> 00:19:35,028
[???]
514
00:19:35,029 --> 00:19:36,163
All right, Stace,
515
00:19:36,164 --> 00:19:37,366
the odyssey is ended.
516
00:19:37,499 --> 00:19:40,806
[CHUCKLES] So- Hey-
517
00:19:40,939 --> 00:19:43,778
So, uh, did you guys see us or...?
518
00:19:43,912 --> 00:19:46,984
No idea what you're talking about.
519
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,525
That the way we're playing this? Yes, it is.
520
00:19:50,526 --> 00:19:52,228
Only way I can live with the memory
521
00:19:52,229 --> 00:19:55,368
of those round fleshy
mounds I don't remember seeing.
522
00:19:55,502 --> 00:19:56,704
Deal. Okay.
523
00:19:56,838 --> 00:19:59,577
So, um, goodnight, and, uh...
524
00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:01,347
Thanks for everything, Ness.
525
00:20:01,481 --> 00:20:02,950
Tonight was a weird one.
526
00:20:03,084 --> 00:20:04,553
Yeah, it was like high school.
527
00:20:04,554 --> 00:20:06,223
Little weirder than high school.
528
00:20:06,224 --> 00:20:08,094
But you know I always got your back.
529
00:20:08,228 --> 00:20:10,832
[???]
530
00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:13,070
I can't believe somebody took that chicken.
531
00:20:13,071 --> 00:20:15,041
They're gonna turn him into a fighter.
532
00:20:15,175 --> 00:20:16,844
Don't say that.
533
00:20:16,978 --> 00:20:18,982
Why are you still here? Oh, sorry.
534
00:20:19,116 --> 00:20:21,921
Uh, a.c. took longer than planned.
535
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,560
Yeah, but, uh, everything is working fine now.
536
00:20:24,693 --> 00:20:25,743
[GAVIN CHUCKLES]
537
00:20:25,829 --> 00:20:28,167
Goodnight, boys. Goodnight, Pam.
538
00:20:28,301 --> 00:20:29,370
[SIGHS]
539
00:20:29,371 --> 00:20:30,771
Killed it tonight. [CHUCKLES]
540
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,376
[DOOR CLOSES]
541
00:20:32,509 --> 00:20:33,811
Hey.
542
00:20:33,945 --> 00:20:36,817
Someone do something to my Bigfoot?
543
00:20:39,757 --> 00:20:41,494
My bed is memory foam!
544
00:20:41,627 --> 00:20:43,631
It'll never forget!
545
00:20:43,681 --> 00:20:48,231
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