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00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:03,320
Oh, no.
2
00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:06,880
Hello?
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00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:13,120
This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
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Eh...
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Nnh.
Agh.
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Nothing's ever straightforward in
this stupid house.
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Ah.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Hi, hello, welcome to Taskmaster,
10
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I'm Greg Davies,
and I've got beef.
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I've got beef, I've got lamb,
I've got pork and I've got chicken.
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Who wants chicken?
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HE GABBLES QUICKLY LIKE AN AUCTIONEER
14
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Welcome to Taskmaster.
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Expect the unexpected,
16
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,360
but also expect
the following people -
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they are Ania Magliano,
18
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,920
Maisie Adam,
19
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,920
Phil Ellis,
20
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,880
Reece Shearsmith
21
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,240
and Sanjeev Bhaskar.
22
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,000
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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And next to me,
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a man who, according
to fan fiction on the internet,
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I am in and out of
like a sewing machine...
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00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,080
LAUGHTER
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..it's Little Alex Horne.
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APPLAUSE
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Hello, everyone. I shall deal
with the correspondence.
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Wow, so many questions this week.
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So, let's have some frequently asked
questions to Little Alex Horne.
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# FAQs for the LAH... #
FAQs to the LAH.
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# Yes, the FAQS for the LAH. #
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OK, so we've got
a question here from Jeremy.
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I... I have such genuine contempt
for you sometimes.
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00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,120
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,440
OK. Question here from Jeremy
in Egypt,
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who says, "Did you do
anything special
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00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:01,360
"for dinner last night, Alex?"
40
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And I did, Jeremy.
41
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,880
I had Stephen Fry
for dinner, so...
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Stir fry! I had stir fry
for dinner. Next question.
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00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:13,680
# FAQS for the LAH. #
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00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,800
Oh, and Jeremy has asked
another question.
45
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,160
He... He says,
"Did you have the...?"
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Oh, he already heard my answer. "Did
you have the stir fry with anyone?"
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And I did.
I had it with Anneka Rice.
48
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With SPECIAL fried rice!
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LAUGHTER
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What are you writing?
51
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I've written 20 series,
52
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and that was the worst start
of all of them. Worst start.
53
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:38,640
Right, let us begin
with the proceedings.
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00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,680
Off we go. It's prize task time,
55
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and the category is,
"The most respected item
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00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,120
"that retains its credibility
when you talk about it
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00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,880
"in a high-pitched voice."
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Respectability and
credibility, in the face of
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00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,200
high-frequency soliloquies -
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00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,840
it's as simple as that, guys.
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00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,680
Five points for the best one,
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and all five items will still
go home with the episode winner.
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00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,240
Maisie,
what is your respected item?
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00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,200
HIGH-PITCHED:
Well, I've brought in a...
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00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,080
This is the task, no?
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HIGH-PITCHED:
OK, do you want me to...? Yeah.
67
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,320
Do you want me to go high as well?
Uh,
68
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,800
well, I don't know if it lessens
my high voice if you're also high.
69
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,720
DEEP VOICE: Maybe I go deep.
70
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:23,560
I didn't like the eye contact
when you said,
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00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,360
"Maybe I go deep."
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LAUGHTER
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Um, so I've brought in
a wonderful, and authentic,
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00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,360
uh, signed photo of Aled Jones.
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00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:36,760
Here it is. Um...
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00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,440
LAUGHTER
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00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,000
APPLAUSE
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00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,520
Obviously, he's most
well known for the, um,
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00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,040
Walking In The Air song,
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00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,160
which is pretty much up here.
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00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,960
Yeah, uh, is he credible - Aled?
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00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,240
Credible? Yeah.
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00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:53,880
He's a national treasure.
84
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,920
He didn't sing the one in
the film, though.
85
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,000
He re-recorded it and released it
out. Yeah, well, less about that.
86
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,520
Oh, I don't wanna...
87
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,600
Oh, my God, someone's lost their
credibility.
88
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:04,760
Sanjeev.
89
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:09,440
Well, you know that, you know,
uh, from previous episodes
90
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,920
what my attitude to this show
has been. It can be summed up...
91
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,480
It can be summed up by, "I've got
an OBE. Why am I here?"
92
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,520
LAUGHTER
93
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:23,000
So, uh, in that vein,
let me show you. It's a book.
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00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,280
HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Look.
ALL: Aw.
95
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,360
It's puppies and kittens.
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What?
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And on the back, just to kind of
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00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,200
help it is... Look.
Sanjeev.
99
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,880
Sorry... Sa...
100
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,200
LAUGHTER
101
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,160
Look, look, look at
the little one down there.
102
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:44,280
I feel a lot better now.
103
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,240
You are off the hook, my friend.
104
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,840
I have never seen a puppy
in a park and picked it up
105
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,280
and gone, "Aw, aw,
it's so credible."
106
00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,160
You've brought some terrible
prize tasks in,
107
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,560
but this is a new low.
108
00:04:58,840 --> 00:04:59,840
Ania.
109
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:00,960
Hello.
110
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,000
What have you brought in that
I will respect?
111
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,880
HIGH-PITCHED: I've made a rug.
112
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,920
LAUGHTER
113
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:09,840
She genuinely did make that.
114
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,040
APPLAUSE
115
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,360
It's modelled on a specific
Boots store, is that right?
116
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,960
Piccadilly Circus.
117
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,560
LAUGHTER
118
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,040
I think it's an incredible shop.
119
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,840
Boots has been around
for generations, hasn't it?
120
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,800
Well, I wouldn't know about that.
121
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,120
We get it, we get it. You're young.
122
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,160
APPLAUSE
123
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,320
What I will say is that
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00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:38,000
I think, in this society that
we live in, it's become quite
125
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,040
a godless state.
126
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,560
Something has filled
the gap of church
127
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:44,920
and I think it's Boots.
128
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,520
Against all odds,
this is the strongest one so far.
129
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:52,640
Phil.
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00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,320
HIGH-PITCHED: I've brought in...
131
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,520
..my nana's headstone.
132
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,960
LAUGHTER
133
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,840
Yep, yes, he has.
134
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,800
I mean, obviously, this is not her
real gravestone, but you... I mean...
135
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:14,000
Well, my mum and dad
had never got one,
136
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,040
so I thought I'd get one.
137
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,200
What? They just tossed her
in a hole, and...?
138
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,800
When we lowered it in, I remember
my mum went,
139
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,840
"That's a bit deeper than normal,"
and my auntie went,
140
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,480
"Yeah, I've asked them to go deeper,
so I can go in on top of her."
141
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,960
LAUGHTER
142
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,440
So my auntie is buried
on top of my nana,
143
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,960
with the two chihuahuas.
144
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,280
Oh, my God, this is all true,
isn't it?
145
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,520
It's true, yeah.
146
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:41,680
And we're fine with there being
147
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,720
a picture of Winston Churchill
on the...? Yeah, what?
148
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,680
Do you know, I'd never seen
the resemblance
149
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,160
until you mentioned it, yeah.
150
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,720
LAUGHTER
151
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,960
Incredible. Phil.
152
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,320
Um, Reece...
153
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,440
Yes, well, I began...
I'm not doing the voice for now,
154
00:06:58,480 --> 00:06:59,680
but I began, uh, thinking,
155
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,080
"What was a respectable item?"
156
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,680
So, I proceeded to create
157
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,080
a one-off, limited edition,
commemorative plate
158
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,680
for the coronation of
159
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,400
the King Charles
and the Queen Consort Camilla.
160
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,480
Beautiful.
LAUGHTER
161
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,000
And then, I thought,
"Well, who better to voice,
162
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,640
"in a high-pitched manner, this?"
163
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,240
So I asked Joe Pascale.
164
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,280
LAUGHTER
165
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:27,960
Who better? Yeah.
166
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,520
This decorative 12-inch
commemorative plate features
167
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:34,040
two detailed portraits of
King Charles III and Queen Camilla
168
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,200
wearing their magnificent crowns.
169
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:40,760
Perfect for serving of sandwiches
or a big pile of rich teas. Hmm.
170
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,120
LAUGHTER
171
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,960
Pascale!
172
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,880
Wow, and this is almost impossible
to score.
173
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,400
OK, one point to Sanjeev.
174
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,680
One point to Sanjeev, OK.
175
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,000
I'm going to give two points
to Maisie. OK.
176
00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:00,120
I'm gonna give Ania
and Reece four points.
177
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,760
Four to Ania, four to Reece.
178
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,720
And I'm using this task
to give Hetty
179
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,440
the respect she was not afforded
180
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:08,920
by whoever tossed her
in a hole in the ground,
181
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,600
and these five points
are for Hetty.
182
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:11,680
There we go. Well done, Phil Ellis.
183
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
184
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,120
Right, let's get tasking.
185
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:21,160
Here we go, and lucky us,
it's time to get trollied. Mm.
186
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,600
Maisie. How are ya?
187
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,880
Really good.
188
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:39,240
Hello.
189
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:42,600
OK.
190
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,080
Trolley.
191
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,520
Yeah, it's a nice trolley.
192
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,000
Right.
193
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,360
Ahem.
194
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,280
"Build a tower of bricks
on this trolley,
195
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,640
"then push it down the slope."
196
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,720
"You may not touch the trolley
after it passes the start line."
197
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:00,960
Is that the start line up there?
198
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,360
Yeah, that's the start line, yeah.
OK.
199
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,840
"The tallest tower that passes
the finish line wins."
200
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,840
"As well as bricks,
all the contents of one
201
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:14,200
"of these bins must be part
of your tower, but nothing else."
202
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,480
"You may only look inside
the bins once
203
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,720
"and only for as long as
you can scream."
204
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,720
"You must replace each lid before
looking in the next bin.
205
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:23,960
"You have a total of ten minutes
206
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,560
"and three attempts during which
you must also scream."
207
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,000
"Your time starts when Alex
screams."
208
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,320
OK.
209
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,040
So...
ALEX SCREAMS
210
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,160
Oh, my God!
211
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,600
ALEX SCREAMS
212
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,000
MAISIE SCREAMS
213
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,800
ALEX SCREAMS
God.
214
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,400
"Build a tower of bricks on
this trolley."
215
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,520
Where are all the other bricks?
216
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,960
ALEX SCREAMS, BIRD SQUAWKS
217
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,200
There was a lot for me to
be distracted by in that set-up.
218
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:07,720
Alex's screaming in particular
was disturbing.
219
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,320
Never done it before. Yeah.
220
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,640
Love to scream.
221
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,400
Give it a go.
HE SCREAMS
222
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,840
All right, I'm ready.
Here we go.
223
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,440
Right, first to attack the stack
224
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,720
are Ania and let's have Phil.
Hmm.
225
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,680
Let's start screaming.
226
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,760
Screaming for the whole time?
For the whole time.
227
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,520
PHIL AND ANIA SCREAM
228
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,920
SCREAMING CONTINUES
229
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,080
Stop.
230
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,160
I didn't actually see what
that was.
231
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:55,280
And I think I did a little wee
from screaming so hard.
232
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,200
STRAINED SCREAMING
233
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,960
HE SIGHS
Lovely stuff.
234
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,560
I've forgotten what was in
the bins. Yeah. Kettle?
235
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,520
Ce...that said cement.
236
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:08,520
There's no point with cement,
237
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:11,400
cos I don't really have time
to mix it.
238
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,280
I'm gonna go with cement. OK.
239
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,520
SHE GASPS
Oh, my God!
240
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:17,240
It's actually like I get
to make it.
241
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,240
OK, well, should I build it up there
then maybe? If you want.
242
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,440
Do you want me to bring any bricks
or not? Yes, please.
243
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,920
How many? All of them.
Well...
244
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,600
I'm gonna go for the Top Cat bin.
245
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,800
Oh, this is bullshit!
HE LAUGHS
246
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,240
Ohh.
247
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,200
OK, now we're talking.
248
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,680
Oh!
249
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,080
Oh!
HE LAUGHS
250
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,200
Er, this isn't cement.
251
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,200
That's flour, by the way.
252
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,800
Yeah, don't taste everything.
253
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,720
So, these are really useful,
cos look...
254
00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,320
Oh, I've got two more bricks.
255
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:00,880
Yeah, you don't have to use all
the bricks.
256
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,040
Have I made a terrible error?
257
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,920
Well, you've got to get it down that
slope in the next three minutes
258
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,760
and ten seconds. Oh, I've got to
get it up the slope as well!
259
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,080
And down the slope.
I've got to get it up!
260
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,280
Two and a half minutes.
261
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:12,160
How do you turn it?
How do you turn a trolley?
262
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,400
This is worse than
the ones I steal from Lidl!
263
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,960
That... Right. Bit of class.
264
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,080
You've only got time for one go.
You've got ten seconds.
265
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,600
OK. Oh, I've got to do it during
this time? Absolutely.
266
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,720
Oh, I thought I was just waiting!
267
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,760
Right.
HE SCREAMS
268
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,200
Move, move, move!
269
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,800
SHE SCREAMS
270
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:44,080
SHE SCREAMS FEEBLY
271
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,520
PHIL AND ANIA SCREAM
272
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,080
Move, move, move!
273
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,920
PHIL LAUGHS
274
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,760
I nearly killed the whole crew!
275
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:58,240
It went so much worse than
I thought it was gonna go.
276
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,800
It wasn't a very sturdy structure.
277
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,920
It's only cos it went off piste.
278
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,920
OK, thanks, Ania. Thank you.
279
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,440
APPLAUSE
280
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:15,600
I mean, we've said it many times.
Crew are dispensable, right?
281
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,680
LAUGHTER
282
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,360
But you both genuinely almost
hurt them.
283
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,280
Watching it back it looks like
a targeted attack.
284
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,320
LAUGHTER
285
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,000
Phil's scream was full-throated,
like a mighty bear, I thought.
286
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:32,960
Oh, thank you. You, you sound
exactly like a 1970s camping kettle.
287
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,360
LAUGHTER
288
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,600
Really took me back
to childhood holidays.
289
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,840
HE IMITATES ANIA'S SCREAM
290
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,560
Phil's did just about cross
the line. Oh.
291
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,480
Ania's didn't cross
the line at all.
292
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,000
And don't I get points
for mine looking quite flamboyant
293
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,360
and exciting as it went down?
294
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,920
Absolutely not. No.
295
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,720
OK, break time.
296
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,040
And, statistically, we will spend
297
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,360
nearly four years
of our lives watching adverts.
298
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,760
Also, kangaroos have three vaginas.
299
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,120
BOTH: Interesting facts!
300
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,320
APPLAUSE
301
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,240
Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster,
302
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,680
where the current task involves
stacking bricks on a trolley
303
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,480
and shoving it down a hill.
304
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:21,960
Yes, it's absolutely safe
305
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,560
and almost no crew were in danger.
306
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,320
Tallest tower past
the finish line wins.
307
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,840
Finally, then, it's the three-card
trick of Maisie,
308
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,200
Reece and Sanjeev.
309
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,480
Ready?
310
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,200
REECE AND SANJEEV SCREAM
311
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,520
No, no, no, scream's finished.
312
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,280
HE SCREAMS
313
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,600
HE EXHALES
314
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,600
SHE SCREAMS
315
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,760
Right, you...you didn't have
to scream while you...
316
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,080
Oh, I didn't have
to keep screaming whilst using it?
317
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,680
Only while looking in it. Oh!
318
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,760
Right. Oh.
319
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,600
Shout if you want any
builder's gloves.
320
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,320
Might be good to have
builder's gloves.
321
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,560
I've got some here for you.
322
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,560
All right, well, go on, then.
323
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,360
This is the first time
I've ever done manual labour.
324
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,960
Ah, you can't tell.
325
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,640
Oh, bollocks.
326
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:27,080
God's sake. What the...?
327
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:33,120
Ah, that... Well, you're welcome
to, I suppose, but it is a camera.
328
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,000
It was in there.
329
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,560
Right. At this point,
I'm gonna choose this. Ah.
330
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,960
And I'm going to put that
down there,
331
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,560
with the apple inside.
332
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,880
Don't hurt your back.
333
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,360
OK. Ready?
334
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,680
Here we go.
335
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:56,200
HE SCREAMS
336
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,200
AUDIENCE SIGHS
337
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,120
It didn't work.
338
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,000
What's that?
339
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:11,480
Oh, I am laughing,
I am laughing.
340
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,000
Ooh.
341
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,560
Um, right, help me push it.
Please.
342
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,480
Please.
343
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,200
Steady, steady.
344
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,240
OK.
345
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,200
Right.
So, that tells us something.
346
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,960
OK.
Are we going up the hill?
347
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,280
We're gonna go up the hill.
348
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,600
OK, here we go.
349
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,160
Oh, best of luck, Sanjeev.
350
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,840
HE GRUNTS
351
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:40,280
HE SCREAMS
352
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
353
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,360
HE SCREAMS
354
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,680
Very happy with that.
355
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,000
HE SCREAMS
356
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,520
Uh-oh.
357
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,560
Nine bricks.
358
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,400
Anybody want...a wall doing?
359
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,000
LAUGHTER
360
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,840
SHE SCREAMS
361
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,640
TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS
362
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,800
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
363
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,720
SHE SCREAMS
364
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,080
You've got 30 seconds left.
365
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:44,520
No, I'm happy.
Yeah. Honestly. Fantastic.
366
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,520
GREG: Wow. Good.
367
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:54,360
I mean, that is
a full-throated scream. Yeah.
368
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,640
The drama of the final image.
Hmm.
369
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,160
I mean, it might be
your proudest moment.
370
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,720
It's a shame I have
to disqualify you cos of some...
371
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,200
..how much of the flour fell off.
372
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,800
I'm only joking. Oh!
373
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,960
LAUGHTER
374
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,880
You didn't keep that going
for long, Greg. No, I know.
375
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,320
She looked so upset.
I thought she was gonna
376
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:12,720
pounce on me!
I was gonna cry.
377
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,200
Very impressive from Sanjeev,
378
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,920
yet again showing why he landed
a role on Paddington 2.
379
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,240
It was just... It was so resourceful.
380
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,080
Well, what he did very cleverly
was incorporate
381
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,240
the camera that wasn't meant
382
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,160
to necessarily be part of it
and that's... Into the height.
383
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,920
And that gave him the height.
Well done, Sanjeev.
384
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:30,960
Well, thank you very much.
385
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,400
Reece, did you enjoy yourself?
386
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,000
No.
387
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,960
That's funny, cos I, you know,
throughout this whole series
388
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,840
have pointed out that
you're very close
389
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,880
to committing an atrocity
cos you're so angry,
390
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,800
but I thought you built that
beautiful, ornate brick thing
391
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,600
and it collapsed.
Like a chimney, wasn't it? Yeah.
392
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,600
And all you said was,
"That tells us something."
393
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,960
That tells us something.
But no, I did enjoy it
394
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,640
and it was nice
to get my hands dirty.
395
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,160
LAUGHTER
396
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,720
Why don't you give us
some statistics?
397
00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,400
Yes, well, we know that Ania failed,
so I guess zero points for...
398
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,040
Oh, God, zero. ..Ania? OK.
399
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,960
And you'll thank me for them.
Not even one?
400
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,760
No, you didn't cross the line.
401
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,120
AUDIENCE: Ahh.
402
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,200
It's just interesting, isn't it?
Cos you come into this show
403
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:16,080
and you believe in justice
and stuff like that
404
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,240
and then you realise actually
it's a dictatorship,
405
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,040
at the end of the day. Well, I've
never said it isn't a dictatorship.
406
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,840
Yeah, that's fine.
I'll take my one point, thank you.
407
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,360
No, zero points. OK.
408
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,040
LAUGHTER
409
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,560
Reece's and Maisie's, very similar.
410
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,600
Maisie, yours was
82cm tall. Oh!
411
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:33,120
Oh! Reece, yours was 77cm tall.
Oh, shame.
412
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,560
So, despite your building work,
you're second last, Reece. Hmm.
413
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,960
Often the way.
LAUGHTER
414
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,200
Three points for you, Maisie. 82cm.
I'll take that.
415
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,680
But Sanjeev's was 105cm.
416
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,880
Phil, yours was 1.36m,
417
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,280
which means that Phil gets
five points. Hey-hey!
418
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,200
Let's see a scoreboard, please.
419
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,240
Yes, well, first of all,
I'll tell you the series scores,
420
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,040
with one and a half episodes
to go.
421
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,880
Sanjeev, you're in last on 117,
but it's tight.
422
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,480
Anyone could win this! Ohh.
423
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,200
Anyone could win it.
Anyone could win it.
424
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,240
And this episode, he's got maximum
points so far.
425
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,360
In the lead with ten points,
it's Phil Ellis.
426
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,080
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
427
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,840
Very good. What's next, please,
Little Alex?
428
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,960
Well, jockstrap yourself in, Greg,
429
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,400
because we're off
to the changing rooms.
430
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,120
SHE LAUGHS
431
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,040
What's all this?
This is my jockey changing room.
432
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,520
You'd be disqualified straight away
wouldn't you? You're far too tall.
433
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,640
Here we are.
434
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,640
You make a lovely couple.
435
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,840
Thank you. Would you like him
to pass it? Is it a him?
436
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,120
I'm not sure. Hmm.
437
00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,480
"Make your jockey weigh almost
exactly the same as Alex."
438
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,080
"If your jockey weighs more
than Alex, you are disqualified."
439
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:07,560
"You may only get two readings
from the scales."
440
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,880
"There is a bonus point
for the sexiest jockey."
441
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,760
"You have ten minutes.
Your time starts now."
442
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,320
This is your jockey. Right.
443
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:19,040
Those are your scales. Good luck.
444
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,200
Got to be sexy?
445
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,040
Doesn't have to be sexy
but if you want the bonus point...
446
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,920
It's got to be really sexy.
447
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,160
There are your scales. Good luck.
448
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,280
Thank you. I'm not allowed to stand
on them, cos that counts as one,
449
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,760
doesn't it? I've checked some scales
and they're definitely wrong.
450
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,760
cos there's no way
I'm over 14 stone.
451
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,400
OK!
452
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,000
APPLAUSE
453
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,480
So, Ania's jockey's
going to be super sexy
454
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,360
and Phil's fatter than he looks!
455
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:43,760
LAUGHTER
456
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,200
Shall we have a look at them, then?
Well, who are we going to see first?
457
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,960
It's a great equestrian. It's...
458
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,200
GROANING
459
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,640
Jesus Christ.
460
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,480
..Ania, Phil and Reece!
461
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,400
What are these?
462
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,520
Are these jockey things?
Is this lead? Don't eat it.
463
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,040
Oh, come on.
464
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,000
Eat lead, kids.
465
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,640
You'll have hair like mine.
466
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:08,920
I'd like to start my characters
with what the hair's like. Yeah.
467
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,880
Oh, hello, what are you doing
up my mountain?
468
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,560
First things first...
469
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,800
A sausage! I got this sausage!
I think she's Austrian.
470
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,840
I'm going Eastern European
with this.
471
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,280
Lovely.
472
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,640
Pretty sexy.
473
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,520
That's not hair.
That's the eyelashes.
474
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,760
Do you know what?
475
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,680
Scale, please. OK.
476
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,160
Do you mind if I feel
how heavy you are? You can try.
477
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,840
Front's probably better, isn't it?
I don't mind.
478
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:38,320
One, two, three.
479
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,680
That's quite...
Can you go dead weight?
480
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,440
OK, I'm happy with that.
481
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:50,960
I'm going to say you're just over
four... I'd say 14st 4lb. OK.
482
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,480
Oof. What do you mean?
483
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,280
14 stone. Nearly 15 in a way.
0.9.
484
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,560
I think that's .09. Oh.
485
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,000
Well, that's not 14 stone.
Going to be a lot more on this.
486
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,440
In you go, darling.
487
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,440
Sexy, sexy.
488
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,040
Sexy space lady.
489
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,600
May I hide the display?
490
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,280
Oh, you don't want to get
the reading yet? No.
491
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,840
I can't see through the mouth.
Promise? Yeah.
492
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,200
Yeah, that's a great idea.
Going on.
493
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,640
See that? I can see everything.
494
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,720
Oh, fuck! What does it say?
495
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,480
Two stone.
496
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:31,720
Three stone!
497
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,240
You've got
three and a half minutes.
498
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:34,960
That can't be three stone!
499
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,160
Second reading. Yeah.
500
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,520
Four stone.
501
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,320
You've got about
a minute and a half.
502
00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:43,840
Well, I'm gonna give up
on accuracy.
503
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:44,960
Oh, yeah.
504
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,560
Oh!
505
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,480
Beautiful lady with a long arm.
506
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,280
Every man's dream.
507
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:55,440
Oh, oh, oh.
508
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:04,080
Could you help me put as much weight
into these shorts as possible?
509
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,720
Right, fucking hell.
That can't be the real weight.
510
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,360
Let's get some out.
511
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,920
Three seconds. How long?
512
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,840
WHISTLE
Please leave her or him alone.
513
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,400
OK.
514
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,640
And then she could have
some of my lipstick.
515
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:21,560
WHISTLE
516
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,760
Well, I think you should go
and wash your hands. Yeah.
517
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,560
Don't lick them. No.
518
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,520
Look after yourself, kid. It's
tough out there in the big city.
519
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,600
Good girl.
520
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,680
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
521
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:45,520
Reece, does a man become more or
less sexy when his trousers are down
522
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:50,160
and his pants are full
of 11 stone of lead?
523
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,680
Well, that was a miscalculation.
I thought the pants would keep
524
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,920
everything in place
but they came down.
525
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,040
It looked like someone that had
just cacked themselves.
526
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,800
Yours both were almost identical
for a lot of it. Yeah.
527
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:03,840
We've got a type. Yeah.
528
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,040
LAUGHTER
529
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,960
A sexy Scandinavian sausage girl.
530
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,320
Yeah. Yeah. It's a look.
I think it's cos we thought...
531
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,160
..we must be thinking, like,
"What's Greg going to find sexy?"
532
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,640
Yeah. And so it was with you
in mind.
533
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,920
Yeah. And it is. It is a girl
with pigtails
534
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,360
and sausages round her neck.
I know.
535
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:24,360
You always form a weird relationship
with inanimate objects.
536
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,920
Yeah, I did get quite attached
to the character.
537
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,120
She was leaving the mountain
that she grew up on
538
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,640
to join NASA.
539
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,160
She was off to space.
540
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,720
When you put the silver trousers on,
541
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,880
you said,
"Now you are future sexy."
542
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,400
LAUGHTER
543
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,200
Time for a break.
I'm not sure who said this,
544
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,280
but I think it's something
it's relevant to this show.
545
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:50,240
From such crooked wood as that
which man is made of,
546
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,440
nothing straight can be fashioned.
547
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:53,840
Kant?
548
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,160
Tosser!
549
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,040
APPLAUSE
550
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,000
APPLAUSE
551
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:07,080
Welcome back to the start
of part three.
552
00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:10,440
It's Taskmaster
and we're having some sexy time.
553
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,520
Hmm. Yes, yes, that's right.
554
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,440
Things are pretty flipping hot
as they're trying to make a jockey
555
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:19,240
weigh the same as me, with a bonus
point for the sexiest jockey.
556
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:23,920
Finally, then,
it's Sanjeev and Maisie.
557
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,920
Right, so it's sexy. You want sexy.
558
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,400
Just one point for sexy.
559
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,480
Yup, but the primary...
The main thing is.
560
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,480
..concern is the weight, isn't it?
561
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,560
OK, right, well, first of...
562
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,240
Oh, that's sexy, in't it?
563
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:37,840
That's hard work, though.
564
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,880
Feather boa. They're always sexy.
565
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,280
I think you should go on there
first. I'm going on, Sanjeev.
566
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:43,920
OK. I'm on.
567
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:45,880
13 stone...
568
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,800
..13. OK.
569
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,920
Alex, could you come stand on him?
What do you mean?
570
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,360
Just stop him from wibbling over.
I'll stop him from wibbling.
571
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,760
LAUGHTER
572
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,360
Quite buckle-heavy so far.
573
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,920
Oh, sexy police officer!
574
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,640
OK.
575
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:20,880
Phwoar.
576
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:25,560
Knee pads! Sexy - cos they suggest
you're gonna be on your knees.
577
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:26,600
LAUGHTER
578
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:32,200
So at the moment... Yeah.
..the jockey is 3st 9lb.
579
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,360
Now, I don't want to be disqualified
on a technicality,
580
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,800
but what if I just stood
with the mannequin?
581
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,040
Is that... Does that count?
582
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,080
I think I'm about 12 and a bit.
583
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:47,400
I think I'll be over then,
584
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:51,600
cos if I'm 12, 13, 14, then that'll
be about 15, which'll be too much.
585
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,640
Let's see. If I...
586
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,000
See, if that is...
587
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,600
Two and a half's there.
588
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,720
So you're basically taking
a bit of a risk here.
589
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:02,960
I am taking a bit of a risk.
590
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:08,000
I think Greg's always wanted
to be blond, don't you?
591
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:12,880
Does that look like me?
592
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:16,000
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
593
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:22,120
Are you saying you've become one
with the jockey? I have. We are one.
594
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,760
You're one, are you? Yes.
595
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,160
WHISTLE
Fantastic.
596
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,760
That is your time up. Great.
597
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,560
I'm pretty turned on.
598
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,960
I don't know about anyone else.
599
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000
APPLAUSE
600
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,040
Well, let's talk this through,
Sanjeev.
601
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:41,000
How are we going to get away
with me allowing this?
602
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,720
You just got on the scales
with the mannequin.
603
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,880
I asked. I said, "Would this
be breaking the rules?"
604
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,320
I said, "You're taking
a big risk, Sanjeev."
605
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,320
Yes, which is not a no.
606
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,120
I think if you had got on
the jockey, it would count.
607
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,640
I was on his foot.
608
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,640
If someone gets on my foot,
they're on me.
609
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,360
SHE SNIGGERS
610
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:03,440
But if you're...
I admire the lateral thinking
611
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,320
and if you'd have somehow hoisted
yourself up that jockey...
612
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:10,000
It would've been ironic as well,
that you were riding a jockey.
613
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:13,240
"See how they bloody like it!"
614
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,160
Am I right?
615
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,040
I like it.
It was very close to being allowed.
616
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,160
It was good lateral thinking.
617
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:21,720
Maisie.
618
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,720
Well, we know how this went.
619
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,520
That's a lot to unpack here.
Just show the clip.
620
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:30,120
Yeah, she definitely established
it's all about the weight.
621
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,480
The sexy thing's just a little
bonus. Here we go.
622
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,000
Just one point for sexy.
Yup. but the primary...
623
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,880
The main thing is.
..concern is the weight, isn't it?
624
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,760
OK. Right, well, first of...
625
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,520
Oh, that's sexy, in't it?
626
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:42,560
LAUGHTER
627
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,520
And from then on,
it was just sex.
628
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,840
Yeah. Story of my life, baby.
LAUGHTER
629
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,600
I thought identifying my possible
vanity was a master stroke -
630
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:00,080
making him sexy by making him
look like me.
631
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,680
Unfortunately for you,
632
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,600
I have to look at myself naked in
the mirror every morning
633
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:06,680
and it is fucking rough.
634
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,360
LAUGHTER
635
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,240
But not naked in this.
636
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,880
You're in a sexy police officer
outfit with...
637
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,560
Maybe that would change things.
Yeah.
638
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,720
Uh... Well, shall we look at
the weights first
639
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,760
and then you can decide on sexiness.
Yeah, yeah, let's have a look.
640
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:25,440
2st 5lb.
641
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,600
5st 12lb.
642
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,440
7st 6lb.
643
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,560
16st 5lb.
644
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:39,960
BUZZER
645
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,000
Let's see. So I'm not gonna
say this out loud. OK.
646
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:46,920
Yeah, so that's the readings.
647
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,520
Only Sanjeev came close.
648
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,640
Reece, I'm so sorry. You went over
the top. You get zero points.
649
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,720
That's a shame.
I really thought I was under.
650
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,640
Is he still in the running
for the sexiest?
651
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,200
Of course he is, yeah. Ah, OK.
652
00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,760
So what are we saying
about Sanjeev? Any points?
653
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:01,080
Oh, yeah,
654
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,400
I can't not give him any points
655
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,400
so he can come last.
656
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:06,920
LAUGHTER
657
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,400
So we're saying Phil gets
the full five points. Yes.
658
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,480
Four for Ania, three for Maisie,
one for Sanjeev?
659
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,360
Yes, I think that's fair.
One for Sanjeev and zero for Reece.
660
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,800
There's the points.
Ah, sorry, Reece. It's all right.
661
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,120
APPLAUSE
662
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,080
And now simply
who's the sexiest jockey.
663
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,160
So here are all five for you. Greg.
664
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:26,840
Take your pick.
665
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,280
Wow.
666
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,120
Oh, look at Sanjeev's sexy lady!
667
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:31,400
LAUGHTER
668
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,800
I gave you a morph. That's good.
669
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,440
Thank you.
670
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,240
The two sausage Scandinavians
671
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:40,680
cancel each other out. Right.
672
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,720
We're between Reece and Maisie
673
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,600
and they've both got sexy vibes.
674
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,800
I mean, Reece's,
without wishing to be crude,
675
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:51,400
looks like he'd throw you round
the room.
676
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,400
LAUGHTER
677
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:54,600
I'm going to give one point each.
678
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,480
I'm going to add an extra bonus
point. There's an extra sexy point?
679
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,160
I can't deny
either of them my love.
680
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,320
LAUGHTER
681
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,720
Bonus points each to Reece
and Maisie.
682
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,000
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
683
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,240
Very good.
What have we got now, Alex?
684
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,360
Well, it's a proud moment, Greg,
685
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,040
as we reveal the Task-O-Matic.
686
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,920
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
687
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,320
RUSTLING
688
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:29,840
Hello, hello.
689
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:31,600
Nice contraption.
690
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:33,000
Ooh.
691
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,000
So... Task-O-Matic. I like this,
692
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,440
I like sort of little machines
693
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:41,200
and things. I've got lots of them at
home. Have you?
694
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,800
Yeah. Like a whisk and stuff.
695
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,920
Shall I open and then spin,
or spin and open?
696
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:48,760
You don't need to open.
697
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,760
I don't...? Really?
698
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,200
What's it going to do?
699
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:03,880
Wow, look at this. Oh.
700
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,320
Oh, wow, this is so good.
701
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:10,080
Can I have this?
702
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,200
Oh, this is so strange.
703
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:28,080
I can read it now.
704
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:32,160
"Make the most fantastic
15-second film."
705
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,520
"Featuring your face in full frame."
706
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,520
"Featuring your face in full frame."
707
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,560
"You have 15 minutes to film
708
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,920
"your fantastic 15-second
full-framed face film."
709
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,360
"Those 15 minutes start now."
710
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,760
Disappointing lack of alliteration
in the last sentence, I felt,
711
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:50,400
but, uh...but anyway...
712
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,840
Any other need for this? No.
713
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:57,360
See ya.
714
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,840
Please be very careful. Yeah.
715
00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:03,040
As in like it's got to be
a close-up of my face? Oh.
716
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,280
And it's got to be fantastic, Ania.
I've got an idea.
717
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,800
I think I'm going to do...
I already know what I'm doing.
718
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,560
I need paper mache.
Can we get any? Yeah.
719
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,720
It could be a silent film.
Could be a silent film!
720
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,280
But I can't make myself
black and white.
721
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,400
Can I? Can I?
722
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,200
But I could paint my face.
723
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:25,000
Which colour?
Oh, wh... Very white.
724
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:26,320
Very white.
725
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:27,720
APPLAUSE
726
00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:33,920
I won't dwell on it too long,
Maisie.
727
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,920
LAUGHTER
728
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,440
But I would say I'm quite a luddite
729
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:41,520
but even I know how to make pictures
on my phone black and white.
730
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:45,200
I don't think you necessarily needed
to contemplate a hate crime.
731
00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:46,640
LAUGHTER
732
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:53,720
All right, let's go. So we do begin
with a man of many fantastic faces.
733
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,200
Mr Reece Shearsmith!
734
00:34:55,240 --> 00:34:57,120
FILM PROJECTOR WHIRS
735
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,680
SLOW PIANO MUSIC
736
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,000
BOOM!
737
00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:14,720
APPLAUSE
738
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,480
I can see why you were such
a competent papier mache man.
739
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,440
I went back to the dawn of cinema.
Voyage To The Moon, yeah.
740
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,080
George Melies. What was the stuff
that came out of your eye?
741
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,520
It was icing sugar. Lovely. Yeah.
742
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,840
Can't fault it. No.
It was a fantastic film
743
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:34,160
that involved his face.
744
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,440
Next. Sanjeev. OK.
745
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,280
Yes, it's time for Sanjeev's
charismatic countenance.
746
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:40,560
Get ready.
747
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:41,800
THUNDER CRACKS
748
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,720
DRAMATIC MUSIC
749
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,520
THUNDER CRACKS
RAIN POURS
750
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:55,600
DRIPPING
751
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,000
THUNDER CRACKS
752
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,200
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
753
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,440
I'm not particular in touch
with my spiritual side
754
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,840
but I imagine there was
a strong message in there.
755
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,600
There was. Yes.
756
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,480
And what was that message?
757
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:17,880
It's "be nice".
758
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,920
LAUGHTER
759
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,800
Oh, and, uh, the floating banana?
760
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,680
Yes. Represented?
761
00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:26,360
Exactly. Ah!
762
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:27,840
LAUGHTER
763
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:29,400
What was the stuff that was,
uh, falling down
764
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,240
before you caught the apple
in your mouth?
765
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:32,280
It wasn't falling down, was it?
766
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,640
It was orange juice falling up.
It was falling up.
767
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,000
Oh, God. So deep.
768
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:38,480
LAUGHTER
769
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,480
I mean, the second fantastic one.
770
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:42,800
Someone's going to let us down.
Who will it be?
771
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:47,120
It's time for
Maisie's miraculous mug.
772
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,160
NOTES RESOUND
773
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,000
A long time ago in a Taskmaster
house a really long way away,
774
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,440
a leather-jacketed lady was
held under the tyrannous rule
775
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,800
of a prick with a clipboard
who lived in fear of his master.
776
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,960
One day, enough was enough and
she locked the prick in the caravan,
777
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,520
where he spontaneously combusted.
778
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:03,960
The master moved to Spain.
779
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:05,560
The end.
780
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,000
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
781
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,760
I think that's quite good.
782
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,760
I mean, honestly, I've never been
so disappointed so far.
783
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:17,960
I just think they're all good.
Oh, good.
784
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,240
And I gelled my hair back and
it stuck like that for three days.
785
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:24,840
I mean, it just looked great.
I liked the story.
786
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:26,640
I mean, this is an awful thing
to say
787
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,000
but I hope one of the last two
is shit.
788
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:30,520
LAUGHTER
789
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:31,960
OK, we must stop once more.
790
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,720
A chance for Alex
to pop to the bathroom
791
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:37,000
and time his movement.
792
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:38,560
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
793
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:44,760
APPLAUSE
794
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,840
Hello, and welcome back
to the final part of the show,
795
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:54,000
where we're watching some fantastic
15-second films involving faces
796
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,400
in full frame.
797
00:37:55,440 --> 00:38:00,000
Two to go. First up, have a look
at Ania's vivacious visage.
798
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:01,440
DRAMATIC WESTERN MUSIC
799
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,000
GALLOPING
800
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:05,120
Greg...
801
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,680
Your task is to die.
802
00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:10,840
Your time starts now.
803
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,320
GUNFIRE
804
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:14,720
Trigger...
805
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,640
HORSE NEIGHS
Good boy.
806
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:18,400
Let's go.
807
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,800
He works for me now.
808
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:24,480
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
809
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,080
What a narrative.
810
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,000
I've replaced Alex with a horse.
811
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,160
Yeah, so he was trying to kill you.
812
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,440
He was trying to rebel but
the horse actually worked for you.
813
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:40,640
And then the horse replaces him
for the rest of the series
814
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,560
as the Task...
whatever his role is.
815
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,480
So the horse is a patsy.
Yeah. Ah...
816
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,920
Honestly, this is like, for me,
it's awful.
817
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,400
They're just all good.
818
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,440
Who's left? There's only one left.
Really good.
819
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,200
It is Phil Ellis left. Oh, God.
820
00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:58,160
I mean, Phil... Phil's bound
to have fucked this up.
821
00:38:58,200 --> 00:38:59,400
Fingers crossed.
822
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:02,600
Finally, it's Phil's fantastically
flexible face.
823
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:04,000
GENTLE MUSIC
824
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:09,920
SEA SHANTY MUSIC
825
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:24,800
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
826
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,160
Interesting.
827
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:33,960
Phil has not done one thing on this
show in nine episodes
828
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,240
that hasn't ended
with a cheesy wink.
829
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,360
LAUGHTER
830
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,280
You know, well done, Phil.
I thought you would let us down
831
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,880
but it's great.
832
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,680
But what's the narrative? I'm
fascinated. Is there a narrative?
833
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,960
Yeah. I thought...
Yeah, course there is.
834
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,240
It's, um... It's, uh...
835
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,280
It's about parenthood and...
LAUGHTER
836
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:54,400
Oh, yeah.
..having to let your children...
837
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:57,200
Just at some point you've just got
to let 'em go, haven't you?
838
00:39:57,240 --> 00:40:01,400
Out of your mouth? Yeah. I mean,
I'm not a father but...
839
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,960
Well, thank God.
840
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,320
LAUGHTER
841
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:07,320
Look, I hate doing this,
I'll be honest with you,
842
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,080
cos I like to victimise someone,
843
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,160
but I could say something positive
about all of them.
844
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:14,480
So I'm going to give everyone
five points.
845
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,040
ALL EXCLAIM
846
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:17,720
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
847
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,040
OK, everyone, will you make your way
to the stage
848
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:23,600
for the final task of the show?!
849
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,200
CHEERING
850
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,400
My dear man. You're my guy.
851
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,520
Who will read the task for us?
852
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:37,640
Phil.
853
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:38,680
Allow me.
854
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,680
"Become the person
the Taskmaster shouts.
855
00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:46,200
"You will have one minute
to draw yourself
856
00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:48,520
"a new bottom of your face and body.
857
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,720
"Also you must bob up and down
throughout your attempt.
858
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:56,400
"Worst new person each round
is eliminated."
859
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,760
Yeah, so you've each got a card.
860
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,000
And you've got a little space
for your nose.
861
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:02,920
You need to draw
the bottom of your face
862
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,080
and then give yourself
a body beneath your face.
863
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,160
Ready? Here we go.
864
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,360
Henry VIII on a horse.
865
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,840
Go! OK, we're looking
for Henry VIII on...
866
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:14,800
Please bob. Please bob.
867
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,560
Keep bobbing, Sanjeev, thank you.
868
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:21,920
Phil is on a child's trampoline.
869
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,480
There's a lovely rhythm
at the end, lovely rhythm.
870
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:28,720
WHISTLE
Pens down. Pens down, Maisie Adam.
871
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:29,880
Thank you.
872
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,000
Oh, rhythm is a dancer.
873
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:33,480
LAUGHTER
874
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:37,920
I hereby instruct you
to become Henry VIII on a horse.
875
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,640
APPLAUSE
876
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,120
They're all good.
877
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:48,920
But which one's the worst, Greg?
878
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:50,320
Well, I'm afraid...
879
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:51,600
Ah.
880
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,560
LAUGHTER
881
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,800
I'm afraid it's Phil.
That man is not sitting on a horse.
882
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:02,240
Uh, I mean, if I'm honest, it looks
like Henry VIII has shat himself.
883
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,360
LAUGHTER
884
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,360
We have lost Phil Ellis.
Phil, you're out. I'm sorry, Phil.
885
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:08,640
APPLAUSE
886
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,720
OK, round one done.
There are four left. Here we go.
887
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:13,920
A supermodel skiing.
888
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:17,040
Go! Supermodel skiing. Please bob.
889
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,720
Bobbing at the end, please.
Thank you.
890
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,160
Maisie, bobbing... Thank you.
891
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,520
Maisie, bobbing.
892
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,560
WHISTLE
Stop.
893
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:27,840
OK, a supermodel.
894
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:30,760
Oh.
895
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,160
Wow.
896
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:34,880
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
897
00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:40,400
They're pretty good. Yeah.
898
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:43,880
PHIL: Can I have that after?
899
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:44,920
LAUGHTER
900
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:46,360
Maisie's will be censored
901
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,720
for the children's edition
of the show.
902
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:49,960
Why?
903
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,240
Cos I can see her tits.
904
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,440
LAUGHTER
905
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,480
First time he's ever said tits.
906
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:56,960
LAUGHTER
907
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,960
It's between Maisie and...
908
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,680
How sexist.
909
00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:01,760
..Sanjeev.
910
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:03,160
Racist.
911
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,640
LAUGHTER
912
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:10,480
She's got big boobs, but I'm sort
of a bit worried about her legs.
913
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:12,440
Her legs are attached
to her breasts.
914
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,160
And that's why she gets the work.
915
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:18,240
LAUGHTER
916
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,400
I'm really worried anatomically
about Maisie's.
917
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:24,920
So I will kick Maisie's big-bosomed
lady out. We've lost Maisie Adam.
918
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,320
There we go, thank you, Maisie.
That's fine.
919
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:28,800
APPLAUSE
920
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:30,160
Next one is...
921
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,000
..Elvis on an escalator.
922
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,360
Go.
923
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:34,800
Ooh.
924
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,120
Bobbing!
925
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,960
Quite focused bobbing now,
isn't it? It is.
926
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,480
Ironically, in this bit we've had
a little less conversation.
927
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,480
LAUGHTER
928
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:48,560
APPLAUSE
929
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,840
WHISTLE
And that's your time up.
930
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:53,680
That's your time up.
931
00:43:53,720 --> 00:43:57,040
OK let's see Elvis on an escalator.
Here they go.
932
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:00,000
We have our first landscape
over here.
933
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:01,040
APPLAUSE
934
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,520
The best Elvis is Sanjeev,
I would say.
935
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:09,280
He's got the handsome
lop-sided smile on Reece's.
936
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:13,200
And... And I think I sum up what
everyone's thinking -
937
00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:15,040
Ania has not drawn Elvis.
938
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,720
LAUGHTER
939
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:18,960
I'm young.
940
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,160
I had to put in what I know -
which is about escalators.
941
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,400
LAUGHTER
942
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,160
So I went for Baker Street.
943
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:26,600
Sit down, Ania.
944
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,080
APPLAUSE
945
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,960
Ania! Unlucky.
946
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,160
It's the final, it's the big one.
Here we go. You ready?
947
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:36,920
A mermaid making a mistake.
948
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:38,520
Ooh.
949
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,240
Bit of licence here for the bobbers.
950
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,280
Good face from Reece.
951
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,680
Greg, can you imagine Sanjeev
drawing and not bobbing?
952
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:55,280
I just think Sanjeev bob has become
more graceful as it's gone on.
953
00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,520
WHISTLE
Pens down, please. Pens down.
954
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,440
APPLAUSE
955
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:05,560
This is it, Greg. What mistakes will
our mermaids have made?
956
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,640
Hopefully they're legal.
957
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,240
Let's see.
958
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,000
Oh, my God.
959
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,600
LAUGHTER
960
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:16,120
Sorry, my tits were too much?
961
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:17,440
LAUGHTER
962
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,360
It's a mermaid. It's different.
963
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:23,920
Your mermaid's fingering a fish.
964
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:25,920
Fish fingering?
965
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,680
LAUGHTER
966
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:30,520
APPLAUSE
967
00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:34,160
It was meant to be that
968
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:35,680
she's eating a fish on a fork.
969
00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:38,320
Oh, OK. Which would be terrible,
wouldn't it, for a mermaid?
970
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,680
Oh, that's a fork. You wouldn't
eat your friends, would you?
971
00:45:40,720 --> 00:45:42,720
No. So it's a mistake.
972
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:44,520
Sanjeev's mermaid...
973
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:48,920
..who appears to have
a father Christmas beard,
974
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:50,800
has missed a bus?
975
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:52,720
It's trying to catch a bus.
976
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:55,320
What's the mistake, Sanjeev?
Why's that a mistake?
977
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,040
It might be the bus to the sea.
978
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:58,520
LAUGHTER
979
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:00,920
What...? What is wrong with you?
980
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:02,600
LAUGHTER
981
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:06,040
The mermaid wouldn't be on land
catching a bus.
982
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:07,480
LAUGHTER
983
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,080
The man makes a good point.
984
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,960
I mean, I do think probably
the superior mermaid picture
985
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,800
is the cannibal mermaid.
986
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:17,040
There we go. Five points
to Reece Shearsmith!
987
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,160
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Well done, Reece.
988
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,480
Please come down. We'll add that
to the final score!
989
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:24,360
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
990
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:32,600
What a lovely creative group
of people we've got.
991
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:35,440
Hmm. So the winner of the task,
with some fantastic art,
992
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,560
Reece Shearsmith! Five points.
Really good.
993
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:38,920
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
994
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,560
They all did well.
They all did well.
995
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,160
It's been a very close episode -
996
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:44,960
until you get to the top
of the table,
997
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:48,040
where you've got Phil on 21 points.
He's won the show!
998
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:50,400
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
999
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:54,920
Phil Ellis wins! Please go and
inspect your respected prizes.
1000
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:56,520
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1001
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,360
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