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♪ Who put the "glad" in Gladiator? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
5
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♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
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♪ No one braver ♪
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♪ Is he sweet? ♪
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♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
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-♪ What a guy ♪-♪ Hercules ♪
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-♪ Ask his friends ♪-♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
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-♪ Hercules ♪-♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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-♪ Come on ♪-♪ No one's fool ♪
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♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
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♪ He's in trainin' ♪
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♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
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♪ And the nicest guy ♪
20
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♪ No complainin' ♪
21
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♪ He was a no one ♪
22
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♪ Zero, zero, give him a quick deed ♪
23
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♪ He's our hero ♪
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♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪
25
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♪ From zero to hero ♪
26
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♪ Herc is a hero ♪
27
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♪ He'll be a hero ♪
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Wait and see!
29
00:01:01,709 --> 00:01:03,917
[Bob reading]
30
00:01:08,417 --> 00:01:10,834
[humming]
31
00:01:10,917 --> 00:01:11,834
What is that?
32
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I just serve 'em, sonny.
33
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Ew! Looks kind of gross!
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[hissing]
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Don't you even think it!
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[soft laughter,
indistinct conversations]
37
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,417
What is with everybody today?
38
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,333
It's like cupid went nuts in here.
39
00:01:32,417 --> 00:01:34,667
He did. You just missed it.
40
00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:36,667
Thank Zeus I had a shield.
41
00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:40,291
Oh, man! I'm always missing out.
42
00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:41,333
Haven't we done this
43
00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:43,875
whole no-girlfriend
pity-party thing before?
44
00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,333
Herc, take a tip from Dr. Love.
45
00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:49,792
You can't force the romance.
46
00:01:49,875 --> 00:01:52,041
Physician, heal thyself.
47
00:01:52,709 --> 00:01:54,458
What? Am I sick?
48
00:01:54,542 --> 00:01:56,458
More than you know, but go on.
49
00:01:56,542 --> 00:01:59,333
Right. You can't put love in a headlock
50
00:01:59,417 --> 00:02:01,625
and just wrestle it down.
51
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You got to let love come to you.
52
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Before you know it,
53
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that special someone will fall
right into your lap.
54
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[screaming]
55
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Oh!
56
00:02:12,083 --> 00:02:12,959
[hisses]
57
00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:14,500
Well, I was thinking
of someone less scaly,
58
00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:17,625
but what counts is that you two are happy.
59
00:02:17,709 --> 00:02:23,041
[grunting and screaming]
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00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:32,625
Hi.
61
00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:35,166
Hey.
62
00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:36,333
Ugh!
63
00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:45,792
Whoa!
64
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:47,250
Got you.
65
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,375
Ooh, big man...
66
00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:52,250
Your heroics beat the sea snake
into submission,
67
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:53,542
but that's how the city-state
68
00:02:53,625 --> 00:02:55,583
maintains the balance of power, isn't it?
69
00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:58,208
Heroes keep the sea snakes in line, right?
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00:02:58,291 --> 00:03:00,875
Uh [laughs] yeah.
71
00:03:00,959 --> 00:03:02,959
And-- a-and I caught you, too.
72
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A word to the wise, hero--
73
00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:07,583
I'm no damsel in distress.
74
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,667
Oh, wow!
75
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,667
She's awesome.
76
00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:16,250
Get her out of your mind.
You're not Electra's type.
77
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:18,583
Electra? Y-you know her?
78
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:21,583
Yeah. She's a transfer student
from Macedonia.
79
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,417
Ooh, Macedonia--
80
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:27,000
Home of grunge poetry
and the pomegranate-juice craze.
81
00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,166
Edgy.
82
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,667
Oh, y-you got to introduce me! Please!
83
00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:33,959
Bad idea. Electra would never go
for a wonder boy like you.
84
00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:35,625
She's not into that.
85
00:03:35,709 --> 00:03:37,875
Well, what is she into?
86
00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:41,291
The pummeled pomegranate--
it's an underground club.
87
00:03:41,375 --> 00:03:42,500
I hang here a lot.
88
00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:44,333
What? I've never been here.
89
00:03:44,417 --> 00:03:46,959
I like to think of it
as my home away from you.
90
00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:51,458
Whoa!
91
00:03:51,542 --> 00:03:55,417
Somebody needs to turn these
frowns upside down!
92
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,542
If I had to call this song anything,
93
00:03:57,625 --> 00:04:00,041
I think I'd name it
"dirge of a broken lute,"
94
00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:01,250
you know what I mean?
95
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:02,583
But I don't like names, you know?
96
00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:04,500
They're just too limiting, you know?
97
00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,500
I don't like fences, you know?
98
00:04:06,583 --> 00:04:09,375
Oh, yeah, this reaches me.
99
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:13,333
Groove to the scene, man,
but don't bogart the vibe.
100
00:04:13,417 --> 00:04:14,792
Let us all ride it.
101
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:17,082
I can't understand a word they're saying.
102
00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:19,750
Aw, Herc, you just have to
know their lingo.
103
00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:22,500
Watch and learn, baby. Watch and learn.
104
00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:26,332
Argh, Matey!
105
00:04:26,417 --> 00:04:29,834
Me hearties be lookin'
for a spot of bilge water.
106
00:04:29,917 --> 00:04:31,834
Can you be directin' us?
107
00:04:31,917 --> 00:04:33,166
♪ Yargh hargh-a-larg argh... ♪
108
00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:35,457
What's the story with this dork?
109
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,041
♪ Yargh g-g-gaye ♪
110
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Oh [laughs] sorry. We just, uh-- sorry.
111
00:04:40,207 --> 00:04:43,125
Unhand me, you scurvy dog!
112
00:04:43,207 --> 00:04:45,500
♪ Hargh-a-larg arghG-g-gargh ga-lee gaye ♪
113
00:04:45,582 --> 00:04:49,457
Cassandra, the damsel of doom. The usual?
114
00:04:49,542 --> 00:04:50,375
Sure.
115
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,667
♪ Hargh-a-larg argh-- ♪
116
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,457
What? You have a usual?
117
00:04:53,542 --> 00:04:55,125
Who are the wannabes?
118
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:57,542
Stoolies here to check out
the Electra scene.
119
00:04:57,625 --> 00:04:59,207
Two more juices for them.
120
00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:00,208
Got it.
121
00:05:00,291 --> 00:05:03,667
Three tall pummeled pomegranates,
hold the seeds.
122
00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:06,417
Um, excuse me, ma'am,
instead of pomegranate juice,
123
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,000
could I please just have a glass
of milk instead?
124
00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:12,000
Pfft! Helps you build strong bones, right?
125
00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:14,959
Yeah. I'm a hero in training, you know?
126
00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:16,959
Eh, whatever. Pfft!
127
00:05:17,041 --> 00:05:18,625
Did I say something wrong?
128
00:05:19,834 --> 00:05:24,375
Look... Here heroes are nerds,
squares, dweebs.
129
00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:26,625
Gee! Really?
130
00:05:26,709 --> 00:05:29,582
[sighs] Thanks for proving my point.
131
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:31,625
Look, if you want to make this scene,
132
00:05:31,709 --> 00:05:34,500
you got to tone down the "power
of positive thinking" routine.
133
00:05:34,582 --> 00:05:36,000
Oh, I can do that!
134
00:05:36,082 --> 00:05:38,625
I-I am so grim. I am.
135
00:05:38,709 --> 00:05:40,457
[sighs]
136
00:05:40,542 --> 00:05:43,709
Thar she blows!
137
00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:44,959
It's Electra!
138
00:05:45,082 --> 00:05:46,542
S-should I go over there,
139
00:05:46,625 --> 00:05:48,542
or should I send a pomegranate juice
over to her table?
140
00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:49,625
What do I do?
141
00:05:49,709 --> 00:05:51,291
You kick yourself.
142
00:05:51,375 --> 00:05:52,709
Kick myself? Why?
143
00:05:52,792 --> 00:05:54,291
Because you're too late.
144
00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:55,792
Electra...
145
00:05:55,875 --> 00:05:58,750
It bums me to see you sitting here alone.
146
00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:00,333
We're all alone.
147
00:06:00,417 --> 00:06:02,667
It's the nature of this cruel existence.
148
00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:07,000
Well, maybe we could try being
alone together.
149
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:09,000
Oh, man!
150
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:13,291
No, see, I like the kind of
alone where I'm actually alone.
151
00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:14,375
Really?
152
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:18,125
We'll give it another 45 minutes
just to make sure.
153
00:06:18,207 --> 00:06:19,500
I don't think she likes him.
154
00:06:19,582 --> 00:06:21,582
Oh, come on, Electra.
155
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:25,875
Maybe we can find some meaning
in this meaningless universe...
156
00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:27,125
Together.
157
00:06:27,207 --> 00:06:30,375
I happen to like my universe meaningless.
158
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,041
Now step off.
159
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,291
That guy just doesn't get it.
160
00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:36,207
Ix-nay on the Ero-hay.
161
00:06:36,291 --> 00:06:39,500
Electra doesn't dig the "knight
in shining chiton" routine.
162
00:06:40,917 --> 00:06:44,082
Well, if the universe has no meaning,
163
00:06:44,166 --> 00:06:47,417
then there's no meaning in the word "no."
164
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:51,250
Then try these words-- bail, loser!
165
00:06:51,332 --> 00:06:53,082
[thunder crashing]
166
00:06:53,166 --> 00:06:55,291
Ugh! Wicked storm!
167
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:59,000
[screeching]
168
00:06:59,417 --> 00:07:02,041
[screams]
169
00:07:02,125 --> 00:07:04,542
Hey, everybody, fury attack!
170
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:09,291
Uh, not that I care or anything.
171
00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:10,542
I can't ignore this.
172
00:07:10,625 --> 00:07:12,542
You guys stay here where it's safe.
173
00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:16,041
Aye, Matey! Keelhaul the lot of 'em!
174
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:18,166
Um, he's visiting from Persia.
175
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:23,917
Furies, as a hero in training,
I order you--
176
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-[screeching]
-[screams]
177
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:27,625
Hey, let me go!
178
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,207
Whoa!
179
00:07:41,582 --> 00:07:43,332
[grunting]
180
00:07:44,417 --> 00:07:45,457
Huh?
181
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:47,792
Ow! Hey!
182
00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:48,959
Cut it out!
183
00:07:49,041 --> 00:07:50,417
Stop it! Ugh!
184
00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:53,207
That wasn't so hard.
185
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,709
[grunts]
186
00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:02,250
[grunts]
187
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,375
Oh, great.
188
00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:11,417
Ahhh!
189
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:15,000
Aye, that be a fruity eye-opener!
190
00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:16,875
♪ Hargh-a-larg arghG-g-gaye ga-dee gaye... ♪
191
00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:19,041
I'll never show my face here again.
192
00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:21,500
Psst, Cassandra, Icarus!
193
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:24,332
What are you doing?
194
00:08:24,417 --> 00:08:25,917
I'm a mess.
195
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,959
Electra can't see me like this.
Come on, come on, we got to go.
196
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:30,291
Hey, cool threads.
197
00:08:30,375 --> 00:08:33,417
Where'd you get them,
secondhand, twice as nice?
198
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,417
No, I don't buy used clothes!
199
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,542
Remember? She's not impressed
with the impressive stuff.
200
00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:43,000
Go get her, you salty sea dog!
201
00:08:43,792 --> 00:08:45,875
Uh, I mean...
202
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,834
Why shop, uh, secondhand
203
00:08:47,917 --> 00:08:51,625
when you can find, like, so many
good clothes in the garbage?
204
00:08:51,709 --> 00:08:53,290
I'm Hercules.
205
00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:54,208
Yeah. Electra.
206
00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:55,959
Uh, listen, I go to Prometheus.
207
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,542
It's a pretty oppressive tool of
the system-- I know--
208
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,792
But maybe I'll see you there sometime.
209
00:09:00,875 --> 00:09:04,500
Oh, that'd be-- Uh, you know,
OK, I guess,
210
00:09:04,583 --> 00:09:06,917
You know, if nothing else comes up, maybe.
211
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,583
OK, cool, maybe.
212
00:09:10,542 --> 00:09:12,250
Batten down the hatches!
213
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:15,333
Full speed ahead for love, Matey!
214
00:09:15,417 --> 00:09:16,625
That was pretty good.
215
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:18,291
You looked really tormented there.
216
00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:20,417
I know, I know, I sensed it, too!
217
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:23,542
It felt so wrong, it just had to be right!
218
00:09:23,625 --> 00:09:26,166
Oh, come on, she's as good
as yours, buddy!
219
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:28,792
All you have to do is not be yourself.
220
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:34,667
What do you think, guys?
221
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:36,250
Huh.
222
00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:38,125
Uh, go like this.
223
00:09:38,208 --> 00:09:41,000
You got a little olive spread
on your chin.
224
00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:44,040
It's not olive spread, Icarus,
it's a goatee!
225
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:47,165
Facial hair is a sign of edginess.
226
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,333
Actually, it's a sign of puberty.
227
00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:51,165
Hercules, I don't need a vision
228
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,667
to tell me this isn't a good idea.
229
00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:55,792
Hey, wait, here she comes!
230
00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:59,750
[Cassandra] Better wipe that interested
look off your face.
231
00:10:02,917 --> 00:10:05,125
Hey, Hercules, right?
232
00:10:05,208 --> 00:10:06,125
I guess.
233
00:10:06,208 --> 00:10:07,709
Help me out here-- I'm doing a show
234
00:10:07,792 --> 00:10:10,458
at the pummeled pomegranate,
and on the off chance
235
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,750
that anyone here is cool enough
to handle it,
236
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:14,625
I want to put these posters up.
237
00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:16,291
Well, that's against school rules.
238
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:18,375
I know. How cool is that?
239
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,625
We'll chip away at the corrupt
school administration
240
00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:22,834
from within their own walls.
241
00:10:23,041 --> 00:10:24,125
Radical, huh?
242
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:27,291
[laughing nervously] Uh, yeah, radical.
243
00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:30,166
[sighs] Miss Electra, Mr. Hercules,
244
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,917
The rules are very clear--
245
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,709
Or at least this one is--
No unapproved signs in the halls
246
00:10:35,792 --> 00:10:37,250
or anywhere else, for that matter.
247
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:38,750
Yeah, we know.
248
00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:40,959
Uh, what she said.
249
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,125
Still, I suppose I can allow
some leniency-- this time.
250
00:10:45,208 --> 00:10:46,875
Take down the posters, get a shave,
251
00:10:46,959 --> 00:10:49,583
and I'll overlook the whole incident...
Probably.
252
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:51,500
Phew!
253
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,040
That was close.
254
00:10:53,125 --> 00:10:54,875
Oppressive tyrant.
255
00:10:55,709 --> 00:10:58,875
Pardon me? Would you care to
repeat that, young lady?
256
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,041
I'd be glad to.
257
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:02,625
I called you an oppressive tyrant.
258
00:11:02,709 --> 00:11:05,709
You treat us like we have
no right to free expression.
259
00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:06,667
Well, you don't.
260
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,250
You might've thought you did,
but you don't--
261
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:10,208
Not on school grounds. Sorry.
262
00:11:10,291 --> 00:11:13,417
Uh, Electra, maybe we should
just let this go, huh?
263
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,208
No, no, the system uses its rules
264
00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:19,542
to suppress an artistic voice like mine.
265
00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:22,166
If this is what your artistic
voice has to say,
266
00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:23,667
then it deserves to be suppressed--
267
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,041
Immediately if not sooner.
268
00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:27,208
Yeah, yeah, just the answer I'd expect
269
00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:31,083
from the corrupt establishment's
excuse of a man.
270
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,917
[screeching]
271
00:11:37,417 --> 00:11:39,208
[screeching]
272
00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:41,375
[crowd screaming]
273
00:11:41,792 --> 00:11:42,875
Again?
274
00:11:42,959 --> 00:11:46,000
Without rules, this school
would be completely overrun
275
00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:49,040
with common criminals, not to
mention substandard art.
276
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:52,875
I would think you of all people
would know this, Mr. Hercules.
277
00:11:52,959 --> 00:11:56,208
Um... what I know or don't know
278
00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:58,375
doesn't change
what you know I know, right?
279
00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:01,291
So, like [laughs] why say what I know?
280
00:12:01,417 --> 00:12:02,834
Exactly. Besides, you know what?
281
00:12:02,917 --> 00:12:04,667
This school could use a little anarchy.
282
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,500
Do you have any idea
what you're suggesting?
283
00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:11,125
[people screaming]
284
00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:14,667
Aaah!
285
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,250
[screeching]
286
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:19,583
Aaah!
287
00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:25,625
[screaming]
288
00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:28,667
[grunts]
289
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,165
I got to watch for that move.
290
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,500
Oh, I can't believe that!
291
00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:41,959
That is just the kind of
wigged-out statement I'd expect
292
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,709
from a sellout like you, right, Hercules?
293
00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:48,000
Uh... what I feel or don't feel
294
00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,792
doesn't change what you feel
I'm feeling, right?
295
00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,875
So-- So why say what I feel?
296
00:12:52,959 --> 00:12:54,667
Don't drag him into this.
297
00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:56,875
Hercules is generally a model student--
298
00:12:56,959 --> 00:12:58,500
Clumsiness not withstanding.
299
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:03,250
-[gasps]
-[screeching]
300
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:04,583
[gasps]
301
00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:18,333
[grunts]
302
00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:25,417
OK, buddy, go on, go on,
tear down our posters!
303
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,458
I don't care, because you know what?
304
00:13:27,542 --> 00:13:32,458
You will never, ever crush our
spirit, right, Hercules?
305
00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:33,875
I think I might agree with that.
306
00:13:33,959 --> 00:13:36,959
If you want spirit in school,
become a cheerleader--
307
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,834
If you can muster the cheer, that is.
308
00:13:39,165 --> 00:13:42,208
-[screams]
-[crowd screaming]
309
00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:45,165
All I'm asking-- and it's not much--
310
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,834
Is that you act like a courteous
school citizen.
311
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:51,165
Well, then you know what?
I reject my school citizenship.
312
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:52,417
Just deport me.
313
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,667
I've had quite enough--
And a little more even then.
314
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:58,375
You two will spend all of next
week in detention.
315
00:13:58,417 --> 00:14:00,333
That should nip your extremist
notions in the bud.
316
00:14:00,417 --> 00:14:01,875
[scoffs] Whatever.
317
00:14:01,959 --> 00:14:04,000
Well, then good day.
318
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:06,333
And so ends the great leniency experiment.
319
00:14:06,458 --> 00:14:09,875
Oh, man! Phil's gonna kill me.
320
00:14:09,959 --> 00:14:12,458
Detention? This is perfect.
321
00:14:12,542 --> 00:14:14,709
We'll be martyrs for the cause
of artistic rights.
322
00:14:14,792 --> 00:14:16,917
It's a badge of honor, Hercules.
323
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,250
You know, you are so cool
324
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:23,000
for having the courage to stand
up to the man.
325
00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:26,083
Uh, yeah, I stood all right.
326
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,834
You did. Hercules, you did.
327
00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:31,250
So, look, will you be at my show tonight?
328
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:33,417
If only hope weren't a useless emotion,
329
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,917
I'd hope you'd be there.
330
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,165
Yeah-- I-I mean, uh, you know,
I might make the scene.
331
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:39,917
I don't know. We'll see.
332
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,125
Cool. I'll see you there... maybe.
333
00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:46,834
Herc, what's happening,
my fury-fighting friend?
334
00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:50,250
Only the most unprecedented
event in modern history--
335
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:53,250
A girl asked me on a date!
336
00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:56,250
Hey, outstanding, my man--
337
00:14:56,333 --> 00:15:01,291
Or as the club kids might say,
"Argh, Matey!"
338
00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:03,625
And all you had to do was deny
everything you're about.
339
00:15:03,709 --> 00:15:05,250
Electra doesn't like you,
340
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:07,208
she likes what you're pretending to be.
341
00:15:07,291 --> 00:15:10,166
Oh, pish posh-- Mere technicalities.
342
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,667
All I know is it's working.
Why mess with it?
343
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:15,250
Yeah? There I go, making sense again,
344
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:16,875
Just like every other time I warn you
345
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,834
that you're doing something that
invariably turns out stupid.
346
00:15:19,917 --> 00:15:23,291
She actually asked me out! [laughs]
347
00:15:23,375 --> 00:15:26,375
Yes, sir! That's right, baby!
348
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:30,000
You are a love machine! [purrs]
349
00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:31,792
[sighs]
350
00:15:38,917 --> 00:15:41,290
[fingers snapping]
351
00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:44,000
There's precious little in this
miserable existence
352
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:46,125
that doesn't make me sick.
353
00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,583
Hercules is one of those things.
354
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:50,458
This poem is for him.
355
00:15:50,542 --> 00:15:52,040
[gasps] She likes me!
356
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:56,625
I am the antihero.
I ask, "Who wouldn't be?"
357
00:15:56,709 --> 00:16:01,208
Their triumphs equal zero.
Their ships get lost at sea.
358
00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:04,792
Jason chased a hopeless quest,
Achilles was a heel.
359
00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:06,667
If Perseus was the best,
360
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:09,417
then, my friend, we need a whole new deal.
361
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,916
Uh-oh, we're losing Herc.
362
00:16:11,917 --> 00:16:14,750
[Electra] The clashing, the bashing,
the thrashing--
363
00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:18,750
And when it's all done,
tell me, who has lost...
364
00:16:18,875 --> 00:16:21,458
And who has truly won?
365
00:16:21,542 --> 00:16:23,375
[fingers snapping]
366
00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:25,417
I'll tell you who wins-- you do.
367
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,417
Heroes put their lives
on the line every day
368
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,875
so you can sit around sipping
your sour juice
369
00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:31,583
and talk like a bunch of freaks.
370
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:33,500
The least you could do is be grateful.
371
00:16:33,583 --> 00:16:35,583
Hercules, what are you talking about?
372
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:38,500
I'm talking about this whole
scene, Electra.
373
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,125
I guess I just don't get it.
374
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,834
I mean, it's the middle of the night
375
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,040
and I'm wearing sunglasses!
376
00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:46,583
I wanted you to like me,
but you want some guy
377
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:50,040
who thinks everything stinks,
not a hero in training.
378
00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:52,542
Hero in training?
379
00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:55,959
You're one of those muscle-bound
Jacksandaled thugs
380
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,083
who struts around on a pretty
white horse?
381
00:16:59,165 --> 00:17:02,417
Well, actually, I fly around
on a white horse.
382
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,083
[sighs] Look, I'm sorry.
383
00:17:05,165 --> 00:17:07,040
I should have leveled with you sooner.
384
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:10,208
That might have been the thing
to do, instead of lying!
385
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,125
I just thought that if you got
to know me--
386
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:14,125
Yeah? Well, how is that supposed to happen
387
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:16,875
when you're acting like somebody else?
388
00:17:16,959 --> 00:17:18,875
[thunder crashing]
389
00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:20,458
[crumbling]
390
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,208
[all screaming]
391
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:24,875
[screeching]
392
00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:26,666
Furies? Again?
393
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,750
I mean, again again?
394
00:17:28,834 --> 00:17:33,375
Avast, ye Matey, it be time
to abandon ship!
395
00:17:33,458 --> 00:17:34,333
[screams]
396
00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:40,208
[screeching]
397
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:41,291
[all scream]
398
00:17:41,375 --> 00:17:42,750
Oh, darn it!
399
00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:45,834
There goes another one of Herc's
crushes down the drain!
400
00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:49,291
Oh! Why can't he find
a perfect love like ours?
401
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,333
[purrs]
402
00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:52,959
Just lucky, I guess.
403
00:17:53,083 --> 00:17:55,542
Angst from above! Help!
404
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:58,208
OK, gang, we are under a fury attack.
405
00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:00,917
Now, I need everyone to form
a single-file line
406
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,542
in an orderly manner.
407
00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:04,542
Hello? Guys?
408
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:08,375
Wow, you're really a reassuring
presence to the masses.
409
00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:09,625
[gasps]
410
00:18:09,709 --> 00:18:11,208
Hey, what are you doing?
411
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,959
Let me go, you overbearing
tool of oppression!
412
00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:16,250
Electra, you don't believe
heroes are good guys?
413
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:18,917
Well, I'm gonna show you
how wrong you are.
414
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,375
[screeching]
415
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:21,709
No, wait!
416
00:18:25,917 --> 00:18:28,250
I know you think heroes are
a bunch of dumb lunkheads
417
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,792
who never think about what they're doing,
418
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:31,959
But that is just not true!
419
00:18:32,041 --> 00:18:35,250
Hercules, put me down! I don't want to go!
420
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,959
Sorry, Electra.
This is for your own safety.
421
00:18:41,041 --> 00:18:41,959
[gasps]
422
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,542
See? I know what I'm doing.
423
00:18:48,625 --> 00:18:51,208
No, you don't, glory boy! These are my--
424
00:18:51,291 --> 00:18:52,208
Duck!
425
00:18:52,291 --> 00:18:54,166
[grunts]
426
00:18:54,291 --> 00:18:55,667
Yahoo!
427
00:18:56,041 --> 00:18:58,083
Ha ha! See? Isn't this more fun
428
00:18:58,166 --> 00:19:01,166
than hanging out in some dark, dank club?
429
00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:02,500
No, it's not, Hercules!
430
00:19:02,583 --> 00:19:06,125
Read my lips-- These furies are-- whoa!
431
00:19:06,208 --> 00:19:09,000
[screeching]
432
00:19:09,083 --> 00:19:12,333
They keep coming after me.
Must be because I'm a hero.
433
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:15,250
Oh, yeah, right, it's all about
you, isn't it?
434
00:19:15,792 --> 00:19:17,583
[rooster crows]
435
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:40,000
Now, aren't you glad
a hero like me was around
436
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:42,959
to save you from those vicious monsters?
437
00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:43,917
Thrilled.
438
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,959
Look around, hero.
439
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:47,959
Uh-oh.
440
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:51,083
Don't worry, Electra, I'll
protect you till my last breath.
441
00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:53,875
Ugh! You just don't get it!
442
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:55,625
[thunder crashing]
443
00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:57,041
They're not after me,
444
00:19:57,125 --> 00:19:58,917
they're my furies!
445
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,458
They come from me! My anger creates them!
446
00:20:03,709 --> 00:20:06,208
[cooing]
447
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:08,375
But the first time they attacked was...
448
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:10,375
When that jerk hit on you.
449
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,583
And the next time
450
00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:14,583
was when Mr. Parenthesis
took down your posters.
451
00:20:14,709 --> 00:20:16,041
This is me?
452
00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:18,375
Bingo. This is you.
453
00:20:18,458 --> 00:20:20,208
You're this mad?
454
00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:21,208
Oh, yeah.
455
00:20:21,291 --> 00:20:23,709
So a good thing for me to do
456
00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:26,083
would be maybe let you calm down?
457
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:29,750
[sighs] You know what?
You're not even worth my rage.
458
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:35,542
Look, um, if you see me at school,
459
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:38,375
please act like you don't know me.
460
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:39,750
Electra, wait.
461
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:41,291
You've got a darkness in you.
462
00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:45,709
It's bad, but we can beat it--
You and me, together.
463
00:20:45,792 --> 00:20:47,083
Hello! Ding-dong!
464
00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:50,959
Did it ever occur to you
that I might like my furies?
465
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,792
They give me my edge.
466
00:20:52,875 --> 00:20:57,000
They're what separates me from
sunny little squares like you.
467
00:20:57,542 --> 00:21:00,291
Well, if looking for ways to
make a positive difference
468
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:03,542
in the world makes me a square,
then-- then so be it!
469
00:21:03,625 --> 00:21:05,667
I'm happy being a square!
470
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:06,959
Good, good! That's great!
471
00:21:07,041 --> 00:21:08,417
I'm real happy for you, Hercules,
472
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,458
because that's what you are!
473
00:21:13,291 --> 00:21:14,333
Ouch.
474
00:21:14,417 --> 00:21:17,166
Well, fight to get the girl, get the girl.
475
00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:19,500
Fight to lose the girl, lose the girl.
476
00:21:19,583 --> 00:21:22,500
[voice breaking] Fight the tears
because you lost the girl.
477
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,083
Man, you are one complex hero!
478
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:27,125
I know.
479
00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:31,083
I guess I should just keep it
simple, be myself,
480
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,750
and someone's bound to like me,
481
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,834
and it's not a total loss.
482
00:21:34,917 --> 00:21:37,208
My home away from Icarus was destroyed.
483
00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:39,667
In what way is this not a total loss?
484
00:21:39,792 --> 00:21:41,500
I met some different kind of people,
485
00:21:41,583 --> 00:21:45,041
Heard some kooky poetry,
fought some furies.
486
00:21:45,125 --> 00:21:46,959
It was fun while it lasted.
487
00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:49,542
You can put a positive spin
on anything, can't you?
488
00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:51,750
What can I say? That's just me.
489
00:21:51,834 --> 00:21:53,917
Or as the club kids might say,
490
00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:57,291
"Yargh, laddie, stay the course
through the furious squalls!"
491
00:21:57,375 --> 00:21:58,500
Yargh!
492
00:21:58,583 --> 00:22:01,667
[sarcastically] Yeah, that's
just what they might say.
493
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,834
Mutiny says ye!
494
00:22:03,917 --> 00:22:07,375
To the brig with all you
lily-livered swabbies!
495
00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:09,792
♪ Hargh-a-lee yargh g-g-gargh ga-lee gay ♪
496
00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:11,834
♪ Hargh-a-lee yargh g-g-gaye ga-dee gaye ♪
497
00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:13,917
♪ Ho-ga-lee go-ga-lee gaye ga-dee gay... ♪
498
00:22:20,709 --> 00:22:23,417
[theme music playing]
35715
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