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♪ Who put the "glad" in Gladiator? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Is he bold? ♪
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♪ No one braver ♪
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♪ Is he sweet? ♪
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♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
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-♪ What a guy ♪-♪ Hercules ♪
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-♪ Ask his friends ♪-♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
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-♪ Hercules ♪-♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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-♪ Come on ♪-♪ No one's fool ♪
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♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
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♪ He's in trainin' ♪
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♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
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♪ And the nicest guy ♪
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♪ No complainin' ♪
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♪ He was a no one ♪
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♪ Zero, zero, give him a quick deed ♪
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♪ He's our hero ♪
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♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪
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♪ From zero to hero ♪
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♪ Herc is a hero ♪
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♪ He'll be a hero ♪
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Wait and see!
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[Bob reading]
30
00:01:06,125 --> 00:01:07,041
[teletype clattering]
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Homer, Greekly world news, reporting.
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Dateline, Athens.
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[teletype clattering]
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All right, kids, my editor says you have
a genuine front-page shocker.
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Frankly, I'm skeptical.
What's this story about?
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It's about shame.
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It's about royalty.
38
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It's about the shame of royalty.
39
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And the wave of the future!
40
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[whispers] Steam power.
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What say you, wet glum guy with a crown?
42
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It's about how we lost Helen.
43
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Mmm, no. It's--it's about how...
44
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I lost Helen.
45
00:01:35,125 --> 00:01:36,875
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
46
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Let's start at the beginning.
47
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Well, it was homecoming week.
48
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And everyone was working hardto get the school ready.
49
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Or... almost everyone.
50
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Adonis, I was wondering,
51
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maybe we could pitch in
with the decorating this year.
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Helen, are you delirious?
53
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No. I--I--I just thought it might be fun
54
00:01:55,375 --> 00:01:57,458
to join in with our classmates.
55
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Oh, but, my dear Helen,
56
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it's much more delicious
to lord power over them.
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Speaking of which, my favorite little
grunt needs attending to.
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Watch this. Oh, Hercules!
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It's crooked.
60
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It is not.
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Helen, my dear, it's crooked, right?
62
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It doesn't look crook--
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Of course it is! Fix it, jerkules.
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You say it's crooked. I say it's straight.
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What makes you right and me wrong?
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Oh, it's very simple.
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I'm royalty.
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Yeah, at home in Thrace.
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00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:27,709
But this is Athens,
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which means you're just
a guy with a big mouth.
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Oh, you don't know? No one told you?
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I'm also the officially ordained
homecoming king
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00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:37,917
of the Prometheus Academy.
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Wha--you're royalty of the school, too?
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00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:43,291
Oh, yes. The title's been passed down
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through my family for ages.
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Sort of an heirloom, as it were.
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00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:50,041
[Hercules] Well I never
picked him to be my king!
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00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:53,041
Don't I get a say in who my leaders are?
In what way is this fair?
80
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:56,250
Mr. Parentheses, royalty is founded
on the very notion
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00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:58,875
that life is unfair, for the commoner,
at least.
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00:02:58,959 --> 00:03:02,083
Hmm. Considering Athens' reputation--
83
00:03:02,166 --> 00:03:04,000
Cradle of democracy and all that--
84
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:06,583
That really is quite a double standard.
85
00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,583
Why not let the students
decide for themselves
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who'll be their homecoming king?
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Sounds like a smashing idea!
88
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But a logistical nightmare.
89
00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:15,709
[Adonis] It's a ridiculous idea!
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Ho ho ho! Who'd be fool enough
to run against me?
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00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:21,250
Well, call me a fool.
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00:03:22,208 --> 00:03:26,959
"Vote Adonis because he deserves it."
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Huh. Why bother?
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"Vote Hercules because Adonis
doesn't deserve it"!
95
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,417
OK! [laughs]
96
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:37,125
All right! I'm am votin' for Her--
97
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Wait. What's his name again?
98
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[crowd cheering]
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[Hercules] [chuckles] Looks like years
of bein' a jerk
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00:03:49,083 --> 00:03:51,542
have caught up with ya, Adonis, huh?
101
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They were very good years.
102
00:03:53,041 --> 00:03:54,709
I wouldn't change a thing.
103
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[Icarus] O mighty lord of the school,
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you are my liege and I
your humble servant.
105
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:05,208
Eh, psst! Woman, get down on your knee
before the imperious one!
106
00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:08,083
You'd think this sort of stuff would get
less embarrassing with time.
107
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:09,291
It doesn't.
108
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Icarus, get up.
109
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But, sire, you're my mighty king.
110
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I'm your homecoming king.
It's not that big a deal.
111
00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:17,917
[Helen] Hi, Hercules.
112
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So on Friday, when will
you pick me up, 7:00?
113
00:04:20,792 --> 00:04:22,457
-Huh?
-The homecoming?
114
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You're the king, and I'm the queen?
115
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She ran unopposed.
116
00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,457
The dangers of a one-party system.
117
00:04:28,542 --> 00:04:31,375
Um, there was one vote for someone named,
118
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Uh... Feta cheeks.
119
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You were my write-in vote. [purrs]
120
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Hey!
121
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Oh, w-w-wait.
122
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,082
You're my date to the homecoming ball?
123
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:44,582
[giggles] Why, yes, silly.
124
00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:47,082
Oh, I've never gone without Adonis.
125
00:04:47,166 --> 00:04:49,457
[giggles] this will be fun for us both.
126
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No doubt!
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All right, all right, all right!
128
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:54,250
Stop this at once!
129
00:04:54,332 --> 00:04:57,959
Your rags-to-royalty journey has been
quite the heartwarming tale.
130
00:04:58,041 --> 00:05:01,625
But you'll soon learn the weight
of that crown is a heavy one.
131
00:05:01,709 --> 00:05:02,875
Helen, attend me.
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[giggles] He's so cute when he's needy.
133
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Bye, Hercules. See ya Friday!
134
00:05:08,834 --> 00:05:09,709
[nervous laugh]
135
00:05:09,792 --> 00:05:11,166
[Icarus] Well, I believe you were saying
136
00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:13,500
your royal title is no big deal?
137
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I take it back.
138
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:16,750
Being the homecoming king rules!
139
00:05:29,291 --> 00:05:30,917
And now, fellow Trojans,
140
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,709
we strike a blow for stallion pride!
141
00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:36,917
[crowd murmuring]
142
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,457
The Trojans shall pay with body parts!
143
00:05:40,542 --> 00:05:42,082
This is an outrage!
144
00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:44,750
Oh! This is disgraceful, sire!
145
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:47,917
Oh, it lacks any sense
of artistic of éclat.
146
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,166
"Stallion Pride"?
147
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,959
Wh-why would they do this?
148
00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:54,207
I wouldn't dig too deep
for a hidden meaning.
149
00:05:54,291 --> 00:05:56,375
[Parentheses] An impish homecoming prank!
150
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:57,917
i.e. Trojans strike again.
151
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,041
Designed to deflate the morale
of the opposition.
152
00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:01,208
Ipso Facto: Us.
153
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:03,375
[Adonis] They never would have
dared such an atrocity
154
00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:04,959
when I was in power.
155
00:06:05,041 --> 00:06:06,625
What are you going to do about it?
156
00:06:06,709 --> 00:06:09,083
[crowd shouting]
157
00:06:09,166 --> 00:06:11,333
Yeah! Yeah! What are
you gonna do about it?
158
00:06:11,417 --> 00:06:14,625
Well, uh... I guess I could get
a bucket of soapy water
159
00:06:14,709 --> 00:06:16,125
and a--and a scrub brush.
160
00:06:16,207 --> 00:06:17,500
I think I could get that paint off.
161
00:06:17,582 --> 00:06:19,709
Ooh! A brush and soapy water.
162
00:06:19,792 --> 00:06:22,125
Well, that is a bold move!
163
00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:23,917
That'll teach those wily Trojans.
164
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,082
I-if I could have a word
with my, uh, royal advisors.
165
00:06:27,166 --> 00:06:30,291
[whispering] We can't strike back!
It's not nice!
166
00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:31,917
[mocking] Ooh! It's not nice!
167
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,417
Come on. It's all just good-natured fun.
Homecoming tradition.
168
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:37,417
They expect us to retaliate, your worship.
169
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:38,834
Look, if we do something,
170
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then--then they'll do something else back.
171
00:06:41,417 --> 00:06:43,792
Yes, sir! That's it, baby!
172
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Stir the pot.
173
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,082
[evil snickering]
174
00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:48,834
That's how things get out of hand!
175
00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:50,625
Cassandra, you agree with me, right?
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I don't know!
177
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:55,667
I'd say yes, but something
is holding me back.
178
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:57,417
A weird feeling of--
179
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,625
School spirit?
180
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,875
Eww! Sweet Zeus!
181
00:07:00,959 --> 00:07:02,500
What have I become?
182
00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:05,250
Reclaim the honor of our alma mater,
Hercules.
183
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,333
Well, a prank isn't really--
184
00:07:07,417 --> 00:07:09,458
Or give back that crown!
185
00:07:09,542 --> 00:07:12,417
[crowd shouting]
186
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,625
Uh, OK. Uh...
187
00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:17,332
Eagle pride forever!
188
00:07:17,417 --> 00:07:19,082
[cheering]
189
00:07:19,166 --> 00:07:21,959
[crowd chanting] Eagle pride!
Eagle pride! Eagle pride...
190
00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:34,000
I can't believe it. Look at this place.
191
00:07:34,082 --> 00:07:37,375
Ugh. I know. It's all so Trojan.
192
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,207
That's not what I was
getting at. Look around.
193
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:41,959
It looks just like the Prometheus Academy.
194
00:07:42,041 --> 00:07:43,750
Uh, yeah, right!
195
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:44,917
Next you're gonna tell me
196
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,500
that the Trojans aren't
so different from us.
197
00:07:48,457 --> 00:07:51,959
Your majesty, can we please dispense
with the open-mindedness?
198
00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:54,834
You have a royal responsibility.
199
00:07:54,917 --> 00:07:56,291
Right. Gotta keep my focus.
200
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:58,542
This is all about school spirit.
201
00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:00,375
[Hercules] There! That's our target.
202
00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:02,208
OK. The coast is clear.
203
00:08:02,291 --> 00:08:04,500
[Icarus] Commence operation payback.
204
00:08:04,583 --> 00:08:06,000
[chortling]
205
00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:07,709
Ha ha ha! Really.
206
00:08:07,792 --> 00:08:10,250
What I did to that statue
was an improvement.
207
00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:13,583
The Prometheus Academy should thank me.
[chuckles]
208
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,750
Uh... Paris? Our statue is movin'.
209
00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:18,750
Whatever are you blabbering about?
210
00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:20,500
-Whoa.
-Who's that?
211
00:08:20,582 --> 00:08:21,417
-What's he doin'?
-Wow.
212
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,000
-Dude is strong!
-How can he lift that?
213
00:08:23,082 --> 00:08:25,000
What the--I say! Excuse me!
214
00:08:25,082 --> 00:08:27,041
Just what do you think you're doing?
215
00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:33,456
Hey! You messed with our statue.
216
00:08:33,457 --> 00:08:35,125
Now we're messin' with yours!
217
00:08:35,207 --> 00:08:38,750
Ho! Yee-hah! Yessir!
218
00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:42,667
Eagle pride! Caw caw!
219
00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:45,125
That's right! We got you, buddy!
220
00:08:45,208 --> 00:08:47,458
[out of breath] Look, Promethean...
221
00:08:47,542 --> 00:08:50,375
That's a very special statue
you're holding.
222
00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:51,625
And I wouldn't want you--
223
00:08:51,709 --> 00:08:53,792
What? Are the big bad Trojans worried
224
00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:56,959
about a little prank with their statue?
225
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,125
Aw--whoop! Whoopsy-daisy!
226
00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:00,875
Ooh! Whoa-oh-oh! Whoopsy-daisy!
227
00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:02,875
No! No! Please!
228
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,542
Put it down... please?
229
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:08,000
Oh! You guys are such babies.
It's just fun.
230
00:09:08,083 --> 00:09:10,750
I'm just playin'-- oops.
231
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:15,709
What have you done?
232
00:09:15,792 --> 00:09:19,333
This was a gift from... Hephaestus!
233
00:09:19,417 --> 00:09:22,250
A present upon the founding
of this academy!
234
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:24,792
Fathers and mothers bring
their children here
235
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:27,166
to see the glorious marvel
that is the pride of Troy!
236
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,542
-And you... broke it!
-[crowd shouting]
237
00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:32,792
Flee, your majesty! Flee!
238
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:34,583
[mob shouting]
239
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:37,125
[female student] It's supposed to be
good-natured fun!
240
00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:40,125
How'd you get elected
homecoming king, anyway?
241
00:09:40,208 --> 00:09:42,208
What? You voted for me!
242
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:45,875
No! I voted against Adonis!
243
00:09:45,959 --> 00:09:48,417
You know there's, like,
a whole difference!
244
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:53,500
You have cast us all in the dirt-dark
shadow of shame!
245
00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:55,417
Whoa. That's dark.
246
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,125
[angry muttering]
247
00:09:58,208 --> 00:09:59,417
Damage control time.
248
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,959
We've got to put a positive spin
on this disaster.
249
00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:03,250
I'll just be honest.
250
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:05,083
You're new at politics, aren't you?
251
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:07,709
Look, guys, I'm sorry.
252
00:10:07,792 --> 00:10:10,041
Things just sorta got outta hand.
253
00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:13,166
[Adonis] Indeed!
Out of your clumsy hand.
254
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:16,709
Now, let's nip this
power-to-the-people folly in the bud, 'k?
255
00:10:16,792 --> 00:10:17,709
Shall we?
256
00:10:17,792 --> 00:10:20,834
[crowd speaking indistinctly]
257
00:10:20,917 --> 00:10:23,667
All rise for our elected royalty!
258
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:25,166
There's a contradiction in terms.
259
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,959
Our lovely queen Helen...
260
00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:28,542
[crowd cheers]
261
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:33,165
...And our strapping, but woefully clumsy
King Hercules!
262
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:35,250
[crowd jeers]
263
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,165
Oh, don't feel bad.
264
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:40,165
Your prank got a little out of hand,
265
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:43,625
but I'm sure the Trojans
took it all in good fun.
266
00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:46,667
[Paris] No prisoners!
267
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:49,290
[shouting]
268
00:10:57,083 --> 00:10:59,542
Oh, my! They seem a little touchy.
269
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,083
Don't worry. I'll take care of this.
Do you want anything?
270
00:11:01,166 --> 00:11:02,583
Maybe a drink or something?
I'll be right back.
271
00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:05,583
[Homer] So that was the start
of the hostilities?
272
00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:07,333
Yiieee!
273
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,583
[Hercules] Yeah, it got pretty hostile,
274
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,750
but we gave as good as we got.
275
00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:21,291
[Hercules] Eagle pride was preserved,
276
00:11:21,375 --> 00:11:22,291
For what that's worth.
277
00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:24,250
Because when all was said and done,
278
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,333
we paid a pretty heavy price.
279
00:11:26,417 --> 00:11:28,291
I guess we showed them, huh, Helen?
280
00:11:28,375 --> 00:11:30,792
Helen? Where'd she go? What's this?
281
00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:33,165
Where's helen? Did she finally
wise up and dump you?
282
00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:34,667
No. It's worse than that.
283
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,625
The Trojans kidnapped Helen!
284
00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:47,500
[Hercules] Given the nature of the crisis,
285
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,542
I've called you all here
as special advisors.
286
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:50,875
The question before us--
287
00:11:50,959 --> 00:11:53,000
How do we get Helen back from the Trojans?
288
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:54,625
I'm going on a hunger strike!
289
00:11:54,709 --> 00:11:57,959
From now on, I won't eat
until Helen is returned!
290
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,291
So take that, Trojan swine!
291
00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:01,875
[grunts]
292
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,458
[pig grunting]
293
00:12:03,542 --> 00:12:05,166
Ajax, got an idea?
294
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:07,125
[growls]
295
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:10,166
Excuse me. You wouldn't
happen to have a cookie, would ya?
296
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:11,250
A little snacky-wacky?
297
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:12,625
Any munchie-wunchie will do. Come on.
298
00:12:12,709 --> 00:12:15,250
Look, we can't just burst
in there and grab Helen.
299
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:19,208
Amazon warriors cut the "T" off can't.
300
00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:21,458
Tempest, the Trojan Academy
has tightened security.
301
00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:24,000
They'd cream us even before
we got to the gate!
302
00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:25,625
Then we will not sail
303
00:12:25,709 --> 00:12:28,792
to the eternal shores
of the river Styx alone!
304
00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:30,458
I'm kinda looking for a plan
305
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:33,165
that minimizes the death angle, ya know?
306
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:36,040
Adonis, I could use your help.
307
00:12:36,125 --> 00:12:38,750
My--my what? I'm sorry.
I didn't quite catch that.
308
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,040
What was that last part?
309
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:41,040
[teeth clenched] Help.
310
00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:42,917
Oh, not so smug now,
311
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,040
are you, King Hercules?
312
00:12:45,125 --> 00:12:46,542
Well, what would you have done?
313
00:12:46,625 --> 00:12:48,000
Usually, when the Trojans
painted the statue,
314
00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,583
I'd order my servants to clean it
before anyone saw it.
315
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:53,125
Then I would fire off a scathing letter!
316
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:54,165
And that was that.
317
00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:57,040
A letter? That's the retaliation
you were demanding?
318
00:12:57,125 --> 00:12:58,875
A scathing letter!
319
00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:02,625
Bursting with verbs-- action words--
really tough stuff.
320
00:13:02,709 --> 00:13:05,375
Hold on! I gotta-- Whoa!
321
00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:08,417
Pressure drop. I kinda stood up too fast.
322
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,875
OK. This may be starvation talk,
323
00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:12,583
But I've got an idea.
324
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,375
Let me get this straight.
325
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:18,834
We sneak into the Trojan Academy
in... that?
326
00:13:18,917 --> 00:13:22,917
Hah! It's so crazy, it has to work!
327
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:27,041
It's the horseless horse
my Dadalus and I have been working on.
328
00:13:27,125 --> 00:13:28,625
All the pleasures of horse riding
329
00:13:28,709 --> 00:13:32,000
without all the stinky. Hah!
330
00:13:32,083 --> 00:13:32,917
You're cracked.
331
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,583
No, no. No, he isn't.
332
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:38,208
In fact, I don't think
it's a bad idea at all.
333
00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:39,583
At... all?
334
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:41,290
OK. It's--it's--it's not a great idea,
335
00:13:41,375 --> 00:13:43,834
but it's all we've got to save Helen.
336
00:13:43,917 --> 00:13:45,750
Ho, easy there.
337
00:13:45,834 --> 00:13:48,333
Let's hit the drive-through
on the way, OK? Come on!
338
00:13:50,834 --> 00:13:52,792
[Paris] "Dear Trojan Academy,
339
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,500
sorry about your statue and stuff.
340
00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,834
Please take this one instead.
341
00:13:57,917 --> 00:14:00,166
Love, the Prometheus Academy."
342
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:02,458
Huh. Extending the olive branch.
343
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,125
How very Athenian.
344
00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:07,332
And yet, something seems wrong.
345
00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:11,375
Their letters are usually rife
with action words.
346
00:14:14,417 --> 00:14:15,542
[all gasp]
347
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,333
[whispering] I told you so!
They're onto us!
348
00:14:17,417 --> 00:14:18,417
It's all over.
349
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:21,458
Good! My blade thirsts for Trojan blood!
350
00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:25,583
Tempest! I can't emphasize strongly enough
351
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:28,000
this is not a death raid.
352
00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:31,834
It seems a well-intentioned,
if crude, gesture.
353
00:14:31,917 --> 00:14:33,417
I say we take it!
354
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:36,040
Absolutemente! Why didn't I think of that?
355
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,792
Oh, yeah, that's great. That's perfect.
356
00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:41,375
Yeah, yeah, it seems to be
sensible enough to me.
357
00:14:41,458 --> 00:14:43,458
[Paris] Open the gates!
358
00:14:43,542 --> 00:14:45,875
Hah! See? I told you this would work.
359
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:56,709
[Icarus] Oh, man! I am so hungry,
I could eat a horse!
360
00:14:56,792 --> 00:15:00,166
Hah! Which is pretty ironic when
you think about it. [laughs]
361
00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:02,041
-[all] Shh!
-[Icarus] Oh, don't shush me!
362
00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:05,208
All clear!
363
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,291
Uh-oh! Look natural.
364
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:12,458
Stallion Pride!
365
00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:14,917
-Yeah...
-Whatever.
366
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,041
You bet.
367
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,041
She's gotta be here somewhere.
Wh-where are they holding her?
368
00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:22,709
I see Helen in the company of her captors.
369
00:15:22,792 --> 00:15:25,041
I do not trust your sorcerer's ways.
370
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:28,250
The only vision I believe
is that of my own two eyes.
371
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:30,333
She's over there.
372
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:31,709
[Tempest] Oh.
373
00:15:31,792 --> 00:15:32,875
Now is the time!
374
00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:36,290
Trojan, we demand our queen back!
375
00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:38,625
Oh! Hi, Hercules.
376
00:15:38,709 --> 00:15:41,208
[yawns] It's about time.
377
00:15:41,290 --> 00:15:43,165
I was wondering when
you'd reveal yourself.
378
00:15:43,250 --> 00:15:47,000
[gasp] You... knew we were here?
379
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:50,750
I'm always wary of geeks bearing gifts.
380
00:15:50,834 --> 00:15:53,040
Trojans! Prepare to humiliate!
381
00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:58,125
[Icarus] Oh! Very good, Paris!
382
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,250
But you've overlooked
one very important fact.
383
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:02,083
Herc here is a demigod.
384
00:16:02,166 --> 00:16:03,959
Throw the whole student body at him!
385
00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:06,166
Ha ha! He'll just keep coming!
386
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,792
Oh, heavens to Betsy.
387
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:10,083
That would be a problem, wouldn't it, hmm?
388
00:16:10,166 --> 00:16:12,500
That is, if we didn't have our new...
389
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:15,125
exchange student.
390
00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:22,000
Cousin Otus?
391
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:23,125
Arrrrgh... [water sloshing]
392
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:26,041
Correct. Otus is a son of Poseidon.
393
00:16:26,125 --> 00:16:27,583
-So that makes him...
-[belch]
394
00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:29,875
Eh, let me see now-- Hmm...
395
00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:32,083
-[belch]
-Oh. A demigod.
396
00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:33,834
[chuckles]
397
00:16:33,917 --> 00:16:35,125
I say, Otus,
398
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:37,834
how about a good sound thrashing
399
00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:41,458
for our Prometheus Academy friend, hmm?
400
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,875
[grunting] [laughs]
401
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:45,625
Hercules, I have an idea.
402
00:16:45,709 --> 00:16:47,750
Next year, don't run for king.
403
00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:49,375
Deal.
404
00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:51,125
[heavy footsteps approaching]
405
00:16:56,458 --> 00:16:58,625
[grunting]
406
00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:01,792
Abort mission!
407
00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:05,290
[crowd shouting]
408
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:28,083
They're savages! Savages, I say!
409
00:17:30,375 --> 00:17:32,083
Get 'em! Get 'em!
410
00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:35,542
Wake up! Wake up, my liege!
411
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:36,750
Talk to me, buddy!
412
00:17:36,834 --> 00:17:38,417
[groans]
413
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:39,500
What happened?
414
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:42,458
You know, for a demigod,
you've got a glass jaw.
415
00:17:42,542 --> 00:17:45,250
Better to die on our feet
than live on our knees!
416
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,375
What?
417
00:17:46,709 --> 00:17:48,417
Surrender is perfectly reasonable
418
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,959
and much less messy than death. Watch.
419
00:17:53,834 --> 00:17:56,291
[Adonis] Hello! Hello?
420
00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:58,500
We surrender!
421
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,542
Ouch! Ooh! Ah!
422
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:04,875
OK. I'm open to other suggestions.
423
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:08,041
Hah! Boiler's ready, baby!
424
00:18:08,166 --> 00:18:09,709
Icarus, wh-what are ya doin'?
425
00:18:09,792 --> 00:18:12,417
Well, I'm an inventor's son, buddy,
426
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:15,041
and this cart's got a few surprises.
427
00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:17,333
Witness the awesome glory
428
00:18:17,417 --> 00:18:20,000
of steam power!
429
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:22,375
[steam hissing]
430
00:18:22,458 --> 00:18:24,166
[toot]
431
00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:26,792
[wood creaking]
432
00:18:26,875 --> 00:18:29,375
[toot toot]
433
00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:31,542
Whoa. It moves.
434
00:18:31,625 --> 00:18:32,750
Barely.
435
00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:37,250
Hooo-whee! Eat my dust, Troy!
436
00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:38,583
Whoo!
437
00:18:39,959 --> 00:18:42,458
Icarus, c-can't we go any faster?
438
00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:44,083
Whoo--well, no. Come on.
439
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,542
We're centuries ahead
of ourselves as it is.
440
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,959
Just calm down.
441
00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:50,542
[yawns] As dreadfully
exciting as this chase is,
442
00:18:50,625 --> 00:18:53,500
I think I shall put an end to it
before I grow old.
443
00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:56,417
Ready the Augean stable cheese!
444
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,166
Yeah! Right here!
445
00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,750
Aye, aye, sir!
446
00:18:59,959 --> 00:19:01,917
Yes, sir! You got it!
447
00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:05,959
[horses whinnying and passing gas]
448
00:19:06,417 --> 00:19:08,125
Let them have it!
449
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,583
[screams]
450
00:19:10,959 --> 00:19:12,417
Who wants the cheese?
451
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:14,250
Take that!
452
00:19:14,834 --> 00:19:16,041
Take that!
453
00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:17,500
How do ya like that?
454
00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:23,625
[Hercules] Wow! That is ripe!
455
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,291
D-ooh! There's the stinky!
456
00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:31,917
Hey! We're pickin' up speed.
457
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,834
We're gonna make it!
458
00:19:35,709 --> 00:19:38,583
Uh, not to do my usual
raining on the parade,
459
00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:40,667
uh, but we're headed for a cliff.
460
00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:42,166
[all together] A cliff?
461
00:19:43,667 --> 00:19:45,291
[Hercules] Icarus, can't you stop us?
462
00:19:45,375 --> 00:19:46,709
Not to worry, my liege.
463
00:19:46,792 --> 00:19:50,291
Hah! This thing still has a few tricks
up its wooden sleeve.
464
00:19:51,875 --> 00:19:53,125
That's right!
465
00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:54,583
Wings!
466
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,959
[all scream]
467
00:20:00,083 --> 00:20:03,375
Icarus! We're not flying!
468
00:20:03,458 --> 00:20:04,542
Well, yeah, but the winds
469
00:20:04,625 --> 00:20:06,542
will cut the impact of the crash by 10%.
470
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:21,709
See? Those wings really did the trick,
huh? Huh?
471
00:20:21,792 --> 00:20:25,166
[Paris] Have a nice swim home,
Hercules. Heh heh.
472
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:28,291
I'll give your best to Helen! Heh heh!
473
00:20:28,375 --> 00:20:31,542
[chanting] Stallion pride! Stallion pride!
474
00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:34,291
Stallion pride...
475
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:36,166
So what have you learned from all this?
476
00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:39,291
Honor is kept only by the sword.
477
00:20:39,375 --> 00:20:42,083
Perhaps the horseless horse
needs a little fine-tuning.
478
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:44,834
School spirit should be left
to girls with pompoms.
479
00:20:44,917 --> 00:20:46,083
Democracy reeks.
480
00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:47,834
Being a leader is tough?
481
00:20:47,917 --> 00:20:49,917
Don't be swayed by the crowd?
482
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,542
Pranks can get outta hand?
483
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:52,667
I--i don't know!
484
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:55,667
Look, what I do know is
that I'm not giving up.
485
00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:57,709
We've gotta find a way to save Helen!
486
00:20:57,792 --> 00:20:59,000
[Helen] Save me?
487
00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:01,542
Hercules, whatever are you talking about?
488
00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:02,542
[all gasp]
489
00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:05,125
Helen! You escaped! How?
490
00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:06,333
Escaped?
491
00:21:06,417 --> 00:21:08,917
You were the Trojans'
prisoner, my darling.
492
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,500
[giggles] Oh, you sillies.
493
00:21:11,583 --> 00:21:13,625
I was their guest.
494
00:21:13,709 --> 00:21:16,834
You see, I thought this
whole homecoming rivalry
495
00:21:16,917 --> 00:21:21,041
had gotten out of hand,so I decided to do something.
496
00:21:21,125 --> 00:21:24,417
I went straight to Troy
and talked to that Paris.
497
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,083
And you know what? Hmmm.
498
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:28,625
He's not so bad after all.
499
00:21:28,709 --> 00:21:30,250
Wait! You weren't a prisoner?
500
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:31,834
[giggles] No!
501
00:21:31,917 --> 00:21:34,375
But I am going to be Paris' date
502
00:21:34,458 --> 00:21:36,000
for their homecoming dance.
503
00:21:36,083 --> 00:21:37,291
Aah!
504
00:21:37,375 --> 00:21:38,875
I'm just glad you're safe.
505
00:21:38,959 --> 00:21:42,333
Hoo hoo! Now the healing can begin!
506
00:21:42,417 --> 00:21:44,333
Come on! Group hug!
507
00:21:45,917 --> 00:21:46,959
Or not.
508
00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:48,750
OK. How about hanging out
at the speedy pita?
509
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:51,417
OK, cool. Let's go.
Yeah. Heh. I'm starving.
510
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:52,458
-Sure.
-OK. Yeah.
511
00:21:52,542 --> 00:21:53,583
Well, I suppose I could do that.
512
00:21:53,667 --> 00:21:54,583
Who's paying?
513
00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:57,834
So she wasn't even kidnapped.
514
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,417
I gotta spice this story up a bit.
515
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,291
Forget this high school rivalry stuff.
516
00:22:01,375 --> 00:22:02,500
We need a war!
517
00:22:02,583 --> 00:22:04,750
A 10-year war between city-states,
518
00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:07,291
started by Helen, whose face
could launch a hundred--
519
00:22:07,375 --> 00:22:09,500
No. Make that a thousand ships.
520
00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:11,834
I'll throw in Achilles,
give it a tragic angle.
521
00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:14,208
Now we're cookin'! Yowzah!
522
00:22:17,917 --> 00:22:20,834
[theme music playing]
37312
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