Original subtitles

♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

-♪ Is he bold? ♪

-♪ No one braver ♪

-♪ Is he sweet? ♪

-♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪

-♪ What a guy ♪

-♪ Hercules ♪

-♪ Ask his friends ♪

-♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪

-♪ Hercules ♪

-♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

-♪ Come on ♪

-♪ No one's fool ♪

♪ Now the boy's in school ♪

♪ He's in trainin' ♪

♪ Smart and shy ♪

-♪ And the nicest guy ♪

-♪ No complainin' ♪

♪ He was a no one ♪

♪ Zero, zero ♪

♪ Give him a quick deed ♪

♪ He's our hero ♪

♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪

♪ From zero to hero ♪

♪ Herc is a hero ♪

♪ He'll be a hero ♪

Wait and see!

[Bob reading]

[Bob] Dusk, the golden hour

when day gives way to night.

As man and beast bid adieu to another day,

the toil of the God of Sleep

is just beginning.

Every night, Morpheus throws

his blanket of slumber

across the land,

assuring a peaceful night's repose

to all who dwell there...

[yawning]

...whether they like it or not.

[snoring]

[snoring]

Come on, champ.

Beddy-bye time.

[snorts]

Aah! I'm-- I'm awake! I'm awake.

Ha! Even a hero needs eight hours, kid.

Phil, it's finals week.

I just don't have time for sleep.

I'll just study...

for a few more...

[snoring]

[yawns]

Yeah.

Ah! I'm never going

to memorize all these names

in time for the final!

It's easy. You just have

to know a few tricks.

Oh, I got one.

I can blow milk bubbles with my nose.

Huh? Huh?

Take Arachne.

To remember who she is,

just know the word "whistle."

Wove herself into spiderhood

to live eternally--

W-h-i-s-t-l-e.

-"Whistle."

-[whistles cat call]

Yeah!

OK. For Alectryon,

know the word "academic."

Alectryon crows at dawn

11 miles into Corinth.

Oh, oh, oh!

How 'bout Io--

Woman Hera made a cow.

Whmac? What kind of word is "whmac"?

You know!

As in whmac beautiful music

together, my sweet!

Ha ha ha.

Ohh, it's useless.

The only way we'd cram everything in

is if we study day and night.

What are you gonna do,

beseech the God of Sleep

to back off for a week

so you two can have extra study time?

-Morpheus!

-Morpheus!

Why is it no one takes me seriously

unless I'm joking?

Oh, Morpheus!

Hello-o-o-o-!

Hello, students.

Ah! Morpheus, here's the deal.

We have a final tomorrow,

and the teacher is

the toughest, meanest...

Hard-nosed?

Yeah, thanks.

Hard-nosed--

I respect and admire him so...

Yes, well, I hate to "bum you out,"

but Morpheus' cave is sound-proof.

He can only be beseeched in person,

but no one's ever "crashed at his pad."

They all fall asleep on the way there.

Hmm!

I guess if you slackers

were prepared for my exam,

you would know that.

[sighs]

Oh, we are so dead.

You, my friend, are a hero,

and I am--

Well, I'm abnormally energetic.

Come on! If anybody can stay awake

for that journey,

it is we.

Yeah! Let's do it!

I joke and they listen,

but if I foresee a rain of boiling lead,

nobody even puts on a jacket.

Can't... go... on.

Too tired.

Icarus, come on.

What happened to all that abnormal energy?

Energy go bye-bye.

Icky sleep now.

Icarus! Wake up!

OK!

Icky hard-of-hearing now.

[whimpers]

Ohh.

[snoring] Aah!

Uh, anybody home?

We knocked, but, uh...

Oh. Oh, my.

You know, I've never had a visitor before.

You-- you would have to be

a demi-god

or at least abnormally energetic

to make it here.

I have some coffee, but it's been around

for a while.

It's pre-Colombian.

Oh, uh, no, thanks.

[head rattles]

Actually we, um, kind

of need a small favor.

Favor? You have a favor

you'd like to ask of me?

You know how certain things in life kind

of creep up on you?

Yeah, like birthdays, underwear...

And finals week, you know?

There I was, spending the year

being a hero,

and-- and the son of Zeus--

That's the son of the Zeus.

Let me top you off.

So we were thinkin', you know,

if we don't have to sleep,

we could study 'round the sundial.

Yeah. We'd-- we'd ace our finals...

Graduate with honors...

-Get into laurel league colleges.

-Ha ha ha. So what do you say?

All you have to do is

lay off the sleep thing for a week.

There. Comfortable?

You the sandman.

Hmm.

No. Thanks for stopping by, though.

What?!

That's it? Just "no"?

I appreciate your situation.

I just can't-- I can't-- I can't do it.

You have to put yourself in my slippers.

I have got all of Greece

and parts of Persia to take care of.

I--I--I can't keep everyone waiting

because a few kids are

unprepared for their finals.

Let's segue from shameless kissing up

to pitiful begging.

Please, please, please, Morpheus?

Come on, pretty please? Oh, come on,

with sugar on top.

Oh, come on! Please? I'm beggin' you here!

No. And I've decided

I don't like visitors,

present company included.

Did you grow up in a stable?

Shut the door. It is freezing in here.

Oh, right. Anything you need.

Icarus, get the door. I'll get a blanket.

No, no, no, not that blanket

because th--

[snoring]

[gulp]

I'm outta here.

[snoring]

Icarus!

Oh! That is a cozy blankie.

It's Morpheus' sleep blanket.

Whoa! You put Morpheus to sleep?

It-- it was an accident. I'll wake him up.

Wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa.

You know the expression

"let sleeping gods lie."

That's "sleeping dogs lie."

Really?

Hmm. What's the big deal there?

Look, Herc, Morpheus can't spread sleep

if he's sleeping!

You got it, genius?!

Come on. Mission accomplished.

But we can't--

Hmm.

He does really look like he needs a nap.

Well, we'll wake him up

after finals are over, huh?

Who's it gonna hurt?

[yawning]

Here. You're gonna ruin your eyes.

Oh, thanks, Phil.

You sure you don't want

to catch some zetas?

No, no, no, no, I'm on a roll.

Who needs sleep?

[yawning]

I do, but I can't catch wink one

for some reason.

R-r-really?

Isn't--isn't--isn't that something?

Students, if you're ready, we'll begin--

Ah--

The rest-- I mean test.

I just hope you got more sleep than I.

For some reason the sandman

dissed me last night.

Uh--uh--uh! Eyes on your own...

[yawning] ...paper.

Uh, sir? May I be excused?

Hercules, you will not leave this room

until your exam is complete.

And that goes for the rest of you

bohunks and bettys.

When you have answered every question

to the best of your knowledge,

then and only then,

you are free to...

-[shouting]

-...jam on it.

You two were so right

about the sleep thing.

Who needs it?

Snoozers are losers.

Snoring is boring.

Ha ha! Naps are for saps.

Ha ha ha!

I was just going to comment on your

delightful laugh,

but I know how my constant

adoration annoys you.

School! We're going to be late for school!

Well, I hate to point out the obvious,

-but we already are at school.

-Oh. Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[Bob] Hercules and his friends

weren't the only ones experiencing

strange side effects.

All over Greece and in parts of Persia,

the sleepless nights

were taking their toll.

And Hades himself

was running the toll booth.

I feel so alive!

Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha! Ha!

Who wants to bet that

today's numbers will be

even better than yesterday's?!

What day is it today?

Who can tell? Who cares? Ha!

♪ Even the graveyard shift is booming ♪

♪ Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom ♪

[both] Aah! Oh! Aah!

Eey! Aah! Oh!

Ow!

We have to be honest,

Your Improbable Giddiness.

We think this boom

is suspicious in origin.

♪ Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom ♪

Why should I listen to you two,

who obviously haven't slept-- [sniffing]

or brushed your fangs-- hooey--

In days?

You're just being paranoid,

you little monkeys.

We're not paranoid!

We just think this

increase in customers...

is part of a multinational,

possibly cosmic, conspiracy!

Oy yi!

Less hearsay, more breath spray.

We're worried about you, boss.

You're being set up for a big fall.

Boys, boys, look at me.

I'm up to my ears in chariot accidents,

workplace mishaps, people collapsing

on the street!

Come on. It's a wonderful afterlife!

Hey, hey!

Welcome!

Ooh, gee, you look like

you need lots of rest.

Why don't you just stay here

for--oh--ever. Ha!

Boys, look, huh? Lots of dead people.

It's nice. Come on.

If only I'd gotten some shuteye,

I would've looked both ways

before crossing the street.

There you go. You see, huh?

The less sleep they get, hmm,

the more customers I get.

Sweet, huh?

But sooner or later, people have to sleep.

Ha-cha-cha. Ha ha ha. OK.

Aah! At least that's what Pain said.

What do you suggest we do,

[sing-songy] Mr. Paranoia?

Huh? Tell me. Go ahead.

Follow the money?

The truth is up there.

All right, all right.

Let's find out why no one is sleeping

and make sure we keep it that way.

[man] I want some food!

[second man] I want food!

[people shouting]

Go away!

Excuse me, but we came here

to, uh... Uh...

Why did we come here again?

We're out of food, OK?

Hear that, people? There is no more food!

Now, please, just leave!

I want some food!

[people shouting]

Whee! Ha ha ha!

Get a hold of yourself, woman!

Something's making people crazy.

Well, perhaps we're feeling

the adverse effects

of sleep deprivation.

Or maybe-- maybe we're

feeling the adverse effects

of sleep deprivation.

Ha ha!

He said the same words.

How can you laugh

at Herc's failing memory?

This dearth of Morpheus has had serious

side effects, lady.

Morpheus!

I've got to wake up Morpheus!

Lighten up.

Darken down.

Quick. Where was I going?

[crashing]

Ba-da-bing. Hades, here. How ya' doin'?

Morpheus, babe! I love what you've done

with the sleep thing.

Come on! Let's schmooze, baby.

Let's talk long term.

Will you look at this? Ho ho.

The God of Sleep...

-Is.

-Under his own blanket.

Hmmm!

If that is him,

and if that is his blanket...

Using a god's own powers against him--

Almost nothing can undo that spell.

It's evil genius!

Ha! Why didn't I think of this?

Why, indeed, unless you

really aren't Hades!

Take off the mask!

Are you joking with this?

[gulps]

Are you worried about him?

Uh, a little.

Hey, look, I gotta get back to work.

I kinda need you two to make sure Morpheus

doesn't wake up.

You think you could handle that

without freakin' out?

OK, boss.

So you'll just stay here

and not take your beady little blood-shot

eyes off him, OK?

-Got it?

-Got it! Got it!

Aah!

Morpheus, come awake!

Morpheus?

[snoring]

Please?

God! Hercules?

What are you doing? Stop!

Pain and Panic? What have you done?

What have you done?

What have I done?

What have I done?

Oh, shoot! Darn it.

I knew it when I came in here.

Give me-- give me a second.

[snoring]

Hey, he didn't wake up.

-[snoring]

-Ugh!

It's no use. He's a god.

I'm only a demi-god.

Ha! Hades was right!

Nothin's gonna wake this dude up!

[blowing horn]

[gasps]

[both shouting]

See? Nothin'!

There's got to be something.

Hmm! Look at him go.

Big hero in a big hurry.

Too big of a hurry.

Hades said almost nothing

could wake Morpheus.

Almost means there is something.

If Hercules-- If that was Hercules--

finds that something...

Morpheus will wake up,

and Hades will blame us!

Aah! Aah!

[Phil] I'm telling ya, kid,

something's going on!

I'm keeping hours

I haven't kept since I was your age.

I'm awake, alert, alive!

I think I'm getting my youth back!

Hey, don't be so glum.

I still got time for you.

You wanna race?

Hmm.

Kid, talk to me. What's wrong?

I--I-- ahh, I can't remember.

I can't remember anything, Phil.

Ah, you're worried about finals.

Last night, after I painted the bathroom

and repainted the kitchen shelves,

I made flash cards!

Ready? Go. "Ageis-- some goatskin thing."

"Alectryon-- Rooster with the power

to wake anyone."

"Atryeus--"

Oh, Phil! What about Alectryon?

Boy, that no-good squawker

was the worst student I ever had.

I don't wanna talk about it. Too painful.

No, no. You got to tell me, Phil.

It was such an easy gig--

Sentry, glorified watchdog,

but Alectryon fell asleep on duty.

I've never been so embarrassed,

except maybe that time

I had a tree nymph and a water nymph

schedule mix-up. Ha ha.

Phil, I really need to stay on track here.

What about Alectryon?

Turned into a talking rooster.

Now he wakes everyone

at the crack of dawn.

Everyone? Even gods?

Every man, beast, and god

who can hear that crow

will wake up, no matter what.

Ha! That's it!

Alectryon can wake up Morpheus!

Mmm-aah!

Ecch!

Look, can we get back to academics here?

Not now, Phil. I'm off

to save the, uh--uh...

Day?

Day!

Aah! Aah!

What'd he say? What'd he say?

Aw, just something about a talking rooster

who can wake Morpheus.

Aah, Panic, that's it!

We got to get that rooster!

Look, we know that Hercules

needs a talking rooster,

so all we have to do

is collect every rooster in Greece,

and find the one that talks.

You came up with that plan just like that?

You're in on it, aren't ya?

OK, Pegasus, I got to remember--

Alectryon crows at dawn

11 miles into Corinth.

Alectryon crows at dawn

11 miles into Corinth.

Alectryon crows at dawn

11 miles into Corinth.

Oh, man, I hope this is it.

86 miles into Crete?

Alectryon?!

Aah!

Umph!

[growling]

Unh! Ugh!

Take that!

And that! Unh!

Wait. Just a sec, will ya?

Listen, I'll have to take you out as soon

as I catch my breath.

Not if I catch my breath first.

This insomnia's killing me.

I've let 5 heroes walk this week alone.

Look, I didn't come here to fight.

I'm just looking for Alectryon.

Alectryon crows at dawn

11 miles into Corinth.

Didn't you go to school?

Oh, Corinth, right!

Thanks. I owe ya one.

Just don't let it out that I didn't

smack you up.

I got a rep to keep.

Oh, yeah. No problem.

Uh, Alectryon crows at...

Without your help, people may never

sleep again.

Good! Now, leave me alone.

How can you say that?

Listen, ever since I got

this rooster thing going,

I'm everybody's worst enemy.

Do you think people enjoy being woken up

at the crack of dawn?

Oh! Whoa, uh, I never

really thought about it.

Believe me.

I've tried to shut up,

but I can't help it.

The sun's up and I'm crowin'

like a big idiot.

Just-- just come with me and--

Last couple of days,

I got it easy.

No one's sleepin',

no one's wakin' up at dawn,

no one's blamin' me.

But if you'd just hear me out.

Look, do I have to spell it out for you?

N-o!

Ow! Aah!

[splash]

[oinking]

Step right up and dive in!

See Grandma again!

Room for everyone! Here we go!

[crowing]

[clucking]

Coming through! Make way!

Ahem! Hello-o-o. What are we doing?

We're in search of a talking rooster

with the power to wake Morpheus.

Un-huh! So, we-- we,

like, gathered every foul we could find.

[German accent] We have ways

of making you talk.

[Hades] Question.

If you're here, who's watching Morpheus?

Oh!

Now, this sounds like Hades.

-[snoring]

-[Alectryon] Haven't I suffered enough?

Could somebody spare me

a shred of dignity?

Look, I'm sorry, I just need you to crow

and wake up Morpheus.

[gasps]

Morpheus?

Let me at him!

If it wasn't for him and

his stupid sleep blanket,

I'd still be human!

You mean Morpheus was the reason

you fell asleep on watch?

Well, that and the 9-course meal

I'd just eaten.

Look, you may hold a grudge

against Morpheus,

but if you don't crow here,

the whole world is going to suffer.

You put him to sleep with his own blanket?

Why didn't I think of that?

It was an accident... at first.

I needed more time to study,

and so I left the blanket on him.

I was selfish and foolish and--

Lazy?

Lazy.

Kind of like you were the night you fell

asleep on watch?

-Touché.

-See? We all make mistakes.

Will you crow?

Forget it, Jerkules. Hello-o-o.

Hades, Lord of the Dead,

deal closer. How ya doin'? Let's talk.

Hades, stay out of this.

Yeah, right.

Look, rooster, you got yourself in

deep cock-doodle-doo here, babe.

You need moi.

I can make you human again.

Arms, legs, the whole chimichanga.

And in return, you just

let Morpheus continue the big sleep. Huh?

No, don't listen to him!

You don't-- you don't want

to be human again.

You're famous as a rooster.

Yeah, that's fun. OK.

Peck your name right here.

Everyone learns about you in school.

Academic-- Alectryon crows at dawn--

Dawn!

Ha ha. I just remembered the time.

The dawn!

Must fight idiot rooster instinct.

Cocka-- Oh!

[stifling crow]

Cocka-doodle-doo!

[crying]

Oh, why?

[yawning]

Yes! You're awake!

Oh!

Do you-- do you know what

it's going to cost me to fix that hole?

Morpheus, so, do you

feel rested or what, huh?

I bet you could use a nice nap more often,

like now.

Ha! See, that way you get more rest,

I rake in more customers. What do you say?

What do you mean, more customers?

Ah, a few incidents and accidents.

Don't worry about it. Come on. Relax.

[Morpheus] Hey, Hades, I-- I will

need those people back.

Ha ha. Say what?

They just look like death warmed over.

They need sleep, that's all.

I think you jumped the gun on this

one, you know?

No! That's impossible!

Ahh!

Anybody feel like a cup of coffee?

Hey, hey, hey, Hades!

What about the chimichanga?

Well, at least it's made with chicken.

Is there anything I can do

to make up for this mess I've caused?

I tell you what we're going to do.

We're going to make the punishment

fit the crime.

Well, good night, Greece.

What's good about it?

[sighs] We still have parts

of Persia to go

before we sleep.

[theme music playing]