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1
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♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪
2
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♪ Hercules ♪
3
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♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪
4
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♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,375 --> 00:00:17,291
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
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♪ No one braver ♪
7
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♪ Is he sweet? ♪
8
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♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
9
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-♪ What a guy ♪-♪ Hercules ♪
10
00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:25,709
-♪ Ask his friends ♪-♪ Hercules ♪
11
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♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
12
00:00:26,792 --> 00:00:28,792
-♪ Hercules ♪-♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
13
00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:30,458
♪ Hercules ♪
14
00:00:30,542 --> 00:00:31,917
♪ Hercules ♪
15
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,250
-♪ Come on ♪-♪ No one's fool ♪
16
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♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
17
00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,583
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
18
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:37,583
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
19
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♪ And the nicest guy ♪
20
00:00:38,917 --> 00:00:40,709
♪ No complainin' ♪
21
00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:41,875
♪ He was a no one ♪
22
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:43,542
♪ Zero, zero, give him a quick deed ♪
23
00:00:43,625 --> 00:00:44,750
♪ He's our hero ♪
24
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♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪
25
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,166
♪ From zero to hero ♪
26
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,375
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
27
00:00:52,458 --> 00:00:57,458
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
28
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Wait and see!
29
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:03,750
[Bob reading]
30
00:01:06,291 --> 00:01:09,750
[horses whinny]
31
00:01:15,583 --> 00:01:17,291
Hello, sunshine.
32
00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:20,417
Icarus, you're too close. Pull back!
33
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:24,083
Negatory. Moth maintaining
intercept course with flame.
34
00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:26,583
[horses whinny]
35
00:01:34,834 --> 00:01:37,041
Oh, no. I did it again.
36
00:01:37,125 --> 00:01:38,250
Yah!
37
00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:39,917
Mayday! Mayday! I'm going down!
38
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,834
Oh, man!
39
00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:44,333
-[whinnies]
-Come on, boy, dive!
40
00:01:44,417 --> 00:01:46,917
Aah! Yikes!
41
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,083
[gasping]
42
00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:54,542
Well, we can rule out pilot error.
43
00:01:54,625 --> 00:01:57,417
That was clearly
the result of equipment failure.
44
00:01:59,208 --> 00:02:00,542
[awks]
45
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,250
[Icarus] Gaah! Oh!
46
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:09,208
[gasps] -gee, ngah, n-gee.
47
00:02:09,291 --> 00:02:10,667
Oh, ho-ho.
48
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Aiee!
49
00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:19,583
Hold on!
50
00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:22,625
Oof!
51
00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:27,250
Aah! Whoa! Oof!
52
00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:28,750
D-aah!
53
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,250
Uhh! Aah. Unh.
54
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,166
Come on, buddy!
55
00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:35,583
Grab my hand!
56
00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:36,917
Unh!
57
00:02:38,083 --> 00:02:42,542
-Hercules!
-Aah!
58
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[coughs]
59
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,125
[growls]
60
00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:07,083
-[roars]
-[gasps]
61
00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:11,709
Eh-heh. Oops.
62
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:12,875
Sorry.
63
00:03:13,083 --> 00:03:14,375
[Icarus] Herc!
64
00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:15,375
Uh-oh.
65
00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:18,500
Where are you?
66
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,041
Hercules!
67
00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:23,709
Whoa, buddy, are you all right?
68
00:03:25,417 --> 00:03:28,875
[coughs] Uhh.
Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
69
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,750
[coughs] Thanks for pulling me
out of the river, Icarus.
70
00:03:31,834 --> 00:03:35,375
Oh, no thanks necessary, Herc,
71
00:03:35,458 --> 00:03:39,709
'cause I didn't actually
pull ya out of the river.
72
00:03:39,792 --> 00:03:41,834
Well, then who did?
73
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:44,000
Well, I don't know.
74
00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:47,417
Well, maybe it was that guy over there.
75
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,041
Yoo-hoo, mister!
76
00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:51,083
Thanks for helping my friend here.
You really saved his--
77
00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:54,041
Gaah! Eek! Ooh!
78
00:03:54,125 --> 00:03:56,834
Aah! Oy! Oh, no!
79
00:03:56,917 --> 00:04:00,166
Icarus, what is this place?
80
00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:04,458
Get on the horse now!
81
00:04:06,041 --> 00:04:07,125
Right.
82
00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:13,875
[snakes hiss]
83
00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:15,875
[sighs]
84
00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:19,207
It was so weird, Phil.
85
00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:21,457
There-- there were dozens of statues.
86
00:04:21,542 --> 00:04:23,375
Statues, I knew it.
87
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,667
All right. Here we go, kid.
Get a feel for 'em.
88
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:27,582
Oof! What's this for?
89
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:30,582
Gorgons, kid.
You were in a gorgon lair.
90
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:32,875
Starting tomorrow,
we're shifting your training
91
00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:34,959
To a gorgon-intensive program.
92
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,542
What do I do with this?
93
00:04:36,625 --> 00:04:39,375
Rookie, you can't look
a gorgon in the eye!
94
00:04:39,457 --> 00:04:40,834
They'll turn you to stone.
95
00:04:40,917 --> 00:04:41,834
[gasps]
96
00:04:41,917 --> 00:04:44,667
So use the other side like a mirror.
97
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:46,750
Oh.
98
00:04:46,834 --> 00:04:50,250
"Monsters are closer than they appear."
99
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,582
Words to live by, kid.
100
00:04:54,166 --> 00:04:55,917
Hey, what's the matter, Mr. Stone,
101
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,417
people taking you for granite?
102
00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:58,750
[chuckles]
103
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:00,625
Eh, how about a little sun?
104
00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:01,875
[grunts]
105
00:05:01,959 --> 00:05:04,125
Unh. You feel heavier.
106
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,959
I think it's your sedimentary lifestyle.
107
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,458
Hey, come on, folks,
I don't sing or dance, all right?
108
00:05:10,542 --> 00:05:12,041
This is my best material.
109
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,834
Hmm, what's this?
110
00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:21,250
"Hercules". Oh, what I wouldn't give
for a friend who isn't a rock head.
111
00:05:21,332 --> 00:05:22,959
[clanking]
112
00:05:23,041 --> 00:05:25,709
I would do anything
to change the way I look.
113
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,082
Mm, nice try.
114
00:05:31,417 --> 00:05:33,582
Hey, if any of you gods
are listening out there,
115
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,166
I'm ready to deal.
116
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,082
[gasps]
117
00:05:38,959 --> 00:05:41,125
Hey, how you doing?
Hades, lord of the dead.
118
00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:45,834
♪ Aphrodite, Aphrodite, Aphrodite ♪
119
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♪ The goddess of love ♪
120
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:48,834
Greetings, mortal.
121
00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:51,500
I am Aphro-- no. Oh, no.
122
00:05:51,582 --> 00:05:53,082
What are you doing here?
123
00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:55,457
No. No. No. This is my beseechment.
124
00:05:55,542 --> 00:05:58,417
Aphrodite, babe. Looking good.
125
00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,000
Love the song, by the way.
126
00:06:00,083 --> 00:06:03,417
Mm-hmm, save it. Look. This is really
my territory, all right?
127
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,250
It's clearly a self-esteem issue.
128
00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:08,417
Ugh, "Issue." Oy.
Listen, babe-- may I call you "babe"?
129
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,959
Last thing I want to do
is step on your territory,
130
00:06:11,041 --> 00:06:13,166
but desperation is my bag.
131
00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:14,750
OK? It's my "Issue."
132
00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:17,917
Not really. Uh-uh. Sticking your nose
where it doesn't belong is your bag. Eh.
133
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,000
Uh, excuse me.
134
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,709
I really don't care who does the job,
so long as somebody makes me look good.
135
00:06:24,709 --> 00:06:26,792
Medusa, you want real friends, right?
136
00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:28,667
Right. Non-mineral.
137
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:32,082
Mm-hmm. Well, real friends
will like you for who you are,
138
00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:33,917
not what you look like.
139
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,207
Oh, please.
In storybook land, maybe.
140
00:06:37,291 --> 00:06:41,125
Look. All you need
is to lose this gorgon accouterment
141
00:06:41,207 --> 00:06:42,417
and become human.
142
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,625
You can do that?
143
00:06:43,709 --> 00:06:45,375
Yes. This is what I do.
144
00:06:45,457 --> 00:06:48,457
Medusa, babe, here's my offer:
145
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,667
You work for me at night,
146
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:52,207
you know, doing your gorgon terror thing--
booga, booga, booga.
147
00:06:52,291 --> 00:06:55,041
And by day, I'll make you human.
148
00:06:55,125 --> 00:06:57,792
You can frolic and play,
schmooze, gossip, whatever,
149
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,041
Talk issues with all
your little human friends.
150
00:07:00,125 --> 00:07:01,041
It'll be great.
151
00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,834
OK. You do know
he's the lord of the dead, right?
152
00:07:04,917 --> 00:07:08,333
He's coming up with the goods.
And what are you offering?
153
00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:10,583
Well, Hephaestus made these for me
to wear at the beach,
154
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:12,542
but they will absolutely work for you.
155
00:07:12,625 --> 00:07:14,917
You can look at people
and they won't turn to stone.
156
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,834
Keeps harmful gorgon magic in,
harmful UV rays out.
157
00:07:18,041 --> 00:07:19,125
[Medusa] And?
158
00:07:19,207 --> 00:07:21,291
And? I don't, I...
159
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,041
You're really wowing me, ha.
160
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,125
So, do we have a thing here or what?
161
00:07:27,207 --> 00:07:28,792
Medusa, if you live a lie,
162
00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:31,207
you will never know
if your friendships are true.
163
00:07:31,291 --> 00:07:34,082
Will you stop! You're killing me.
164
00:07:34,166 --> 00:07:36,500
Here, just for funsies,
to thicken the plot, if you will,
165
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,709
I'll sweeten the deal.
166
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,207
If she finds one true friend
167
00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:43,166
who likes her for who she is,
168
00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:46,500
then, hey, boom, I make her human forever.
169
00:07:46,917 --> 00:07:48,582
What do you say?
170
00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:50,082
What do I say?
171
00:07:50,166 --> 00:07:52,792
Between the stupid glasses
or the full-on makeover?
172
00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:54,417
This.
173
00:08:01,750 --> 00:08:04,458
Bibbity, bobbity, boo!
174
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,709
[snakes scream]
175
00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:10,792
[coughs]
176
00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:15,000
Man, I should've beseeched you years ago.
177
00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:18,375
Go on! Get out of here, you crazy thing.
178
00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,917
But remember, you're mine at sunset.
179
00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:22,250
Later!
180
00:08:22,332 --> 00:08:23,500
[laughs]
181
00:08:23,582 --> 00:08:26,709
Wow. You do nothing but prey on the weak
and disadvantaged.
182
00:08:26,792 --> 00:08:28,709
Pfft. It pays the bills, huh?
183
00:08:33,332 --> 00:08:35,250
[boy] Ooh, baby.
184
00:08:35,332 --> 00:08:37,250
[whistles]
185
00:08:37,332 --> 00:08:38,457
Whoa!
186
00:08:41,082 --> 00:08:43,709
Oh, uh, excuse me.
187
00:08:43,792 --> 00:08:46,583
Oh, uh, ha, that's OK.
188
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,750
Hey! Hey, it's you.
189
00:08:48,834 --> 00:08:51,125
Uh, have we met?
190
00:08:51,208 --> 00:08:53,083
Met? Oh! Heh.
191
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,959
No, of course not. I mean,
I'm-- I'm new here.
192
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,792
How could we possibly have met?
193
00:08:57,875 --> 00:09:00,875
But I did find this. I think it's yours,
194
00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:02,458
uh, Hercules, is it?
195
00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:06,792
Oh, I've been looking all over for this.
Where'd you find it?
196
00:09:06,875 --> 00:09:09,667
Oh, it was just laying around.
197
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,583
So, Hercules, do you have time
to show a new girl around?
198
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:16,125
Well, you just saved me
a 10-drachma lost ID fine,
199
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:19,125
so, uh, how can I say no?
200
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:25,417
[Medusa] OK. I know I'm new and all,
but that Adonis guy,
201
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,125
ooh, could he stand
to get over himself a little.
202
00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:29,625
And his girlfriend Helen,
203
00:09:29,709 --> 00:09:32,000
who can be that happy all the time?
204
00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:33,917
I like this girl.
205
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,250
So you're real impressed
with the school, huh?
206
00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:38,625
Hmm.
207
00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:41,750
Um, Medusa, I was just, um...
208
00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:43,834
Uh, I was just wondering,
you know-- I mean,
209
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,667
i-- i-- if you're not busy or anything--
210
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:47,458
So, Medusa!
211
00:09:47,542 --> 00:09:50,040
Is there anyone special in your life?
212
00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:53,290
'Cause, uh, my boy Herc here is, uh--
213
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,333
-Yiee!
-Hee hee!
214
00:09:55,417 --> 00:09:57,917
Not yet, but I'm hoping.
215
00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:01,125
Well, uh, I-- I was wondering if, uh--
216
00:10:01,208 --> 00:10:02,458
Wow!
217
00:10:02,959 --> 00:10:07,000
Would you two kids
look at that sunset. Hmm?
218
00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:09,959
Sunset?
219
00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:15,834
Wow. When Apollo's on, he's on.
220
00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:19,709
Uh, I gotta go.
221
00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:21,458
-Whoa!
-Medusa? Wait!
222
00:10:21,542 --> 00:10:22,583
Daaigh!
223
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:24,000
Did I come on too strong?
224
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:26,041
Is... Is my breath...
225
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,333
No.
226
00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:28,375
[sniffing]
227
00:10:28,458 --> 00:10:30,750
The ladies go wild
for sardine-and-onion breath.
228
00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:33,834
Isn't that right, honey?
229
00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:35,250
[sigh]
230
00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:40,375
[panting]
231
00:10:40,458 --> 00:10:42,792
Oh, boy. This isn't good.
232
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:43,959
Ah!
233
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,500
Doll, are you OK?
234
00:10:45,583 --> 00:10:47,125
Aagh!
235
00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:48,375
Heh.
236
00:10:48,458 --> 00:10:50,458
Oops. Sorry.
237
00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:52,375
Could the service be any slower tonight?
238
00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:55,375
Gorgon!
239
00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:56,667
[screaming]
240
00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:58,040
Gorgon!
241
00:10:58,290 --> 00:11:00,959
-Mommy! Mommy!
-Aaagh!
242
00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:03,333
Gorgon?
I haven't trained for that yet.
243
00:11:03,417 --> 00:11:04,375
Darn it.
244
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:09,125
Oh, this is getting ugly.
245
00:11:11,041 --> 00:11:12,709
Oh, who asked you?
246
00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:19,417
I'm ready to face you, vile monster.
247
00:11:19,542 --> 00:11:20,542
But, uh...
248
00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:22,959
Could you come out of
the ladies' room, please?
249
00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:26,166
Well, this just gets more
and more humiliating.
250
00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:28,500
Ta-da!
251
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,875
So-- would you open your eyes.
252
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:35,834
She can only turn mortals to stone.
253
00:11:35,917 --> 00:11:36,750
Dimwits.
254
00:11:37,083 --> 00:11:39,917
Heeh! It's not that. It's...
255
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,750
It's just that we're in the ladies' room.
256
00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:43,917
[giggling]
257
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,083
-[hissing]
-Oy.
258
00:11:45,165 --> 00:11:48,165
So, you ready for your first day of work
on Team Hades? Huh?
259
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,333
Sure, whatever. Just get me outta here.
260
00:11:52,165 --> 00:11:54,250
[Hercules] Uh... are you coming out now?
261
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:56,792
-[knocking on door]
-Hello? Hello?
262
00:11:58,667 --> 00:11:59,583
Come on, kid,
263
00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:01,583
don't feel bad about
what happened up there.
264
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:03,959
You know what?
I believe, any day now,
265
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,083
you'll find your one true friend,
266
00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:08,750
and then, bada-bing!
You're human.
267
00:12:08,834 --> 00:12:10,709
Let's just get started.
What do you want me to do?
268
00:12:10,792 --> 00:12:13,291
Hey! Whoa! Not so fast.
269
00:12:13,375 --> 00:12:17,333
Everyone goes to orientation
on their first day.
270
00:12:17,417 --> 00:12:19,250
[scoffs] Orientation?
271
00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:21,333
I run a professional organization.
272
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,709
Hi! I'm Pain.
273
00:12:27,792 --> 00:12:29,709
And I'm Panic.
274
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:32,709
Welcome to underworld
orientation.
275
00:12:32,792 --> 00:12:35,709
Uh, Mr. Panic, I have a question
276
00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:38,333
about our employee health benefits.
277
00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:40,959
Just "Panic" please.
278
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,709
We're a "first name only"
kinda place. [chuckles]
279
00:12:43,792 --> 00:12:46,125
Yeah, and we're not employees.
280
00:12:46,208 --> 00:12:47,875
We're cast members.
281
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:49,125
[groan]
282
00:12:53,917 --> 00:12:56,667
Hey, guys.
What's all this about?
283
00:12:56,750 --> 00:13:00,500
Emergency assembly.
I predict utter boredom.
284
00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:02,542
Hey, where were you last night?
285
00:13:02,625 --> 00:13:04,166
You missed all the excitement.
286
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:07,083
Oh. Heh.
It was just, uh... A "bad hair day" thing.
287
00:13:07,166 --> 00:13:09,250
Well... ahem, anyway,
288
00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:11,000
um, there was something
I was going to ask you.
289
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:13,166
-Would you consider--
-[Chipacles] Zip it, punks!
290
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,875
All right, quiet down.
291
00:13:15,959 --> 00:13:17,375
Now listen up, people.
292
00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:19,291
We've got a gorgon at large.
293
00:13:19,375 --> 00:13:20,291
-[crowd gasping]
-[man] Gorgon?
294
00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:23,750
[Chipacles] Now the only sure-fire way
to slay a gorgon
295
00:13:23,834 --> 00:13:26,000
is by chopping off its head.
296
00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:29,125
Sever the head
with a quick but forceful slice.
297
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,333
-Something wrong?
-[squeamish yelp]
298
00:13:31,417 --> 00:13:34,750
Now, once you've removed
said monster's head,
299
00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:36,667
carefully put it in a purse.
300
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,417
-[scoffing]
-[man] Purse?
301
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,834
Not a wallet, men. A purse.
302
00:13:40,917 --> 00:13:43,333
This is no time to be macho.
303
00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:46,542
I myself own a little patent leather
over-the-shoulder number,
304
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:49,625
but any quality handbag will do.
305
00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:52,625
Now, once the head is safely
inside the purse,
306
00:13:52,709 --> 00:13:55,417
you take it to your nearest "A"-level god
307
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,709
for disposal. Got it?
308
00:13:57,792 --> 00:13:59,417
Are you sure you're OK?
309
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:03,125
Yeah. Yeah, just this...
Gorgon-killing stuff,
310
00:14:03,208 --> 00:14:05,542
it, uh, just kinda gets me worked up.
311
00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:07,917
Hey, it gets us all worked up.
312
00:14:12,291 --> 00:14:13,208
Ah!
313
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:14,792
Ah!
314
00:14:14,875 --> 00:14:16,166
[gasp]
315
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:19,959
Ah!
316
00:14:20,792 --> 00:14:22,291
Ah! Oh!
317
00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:23,625
Ah!
318
00:14:25,041 --> 00:14:28,083
Aaagh!
319
00:14:29,208 --> 00:14:31,875
[sobbing]
320
00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:41,333
Grrrrr...
321
00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:44,542
-Ah!
-[roars]
322
00:14:44,625 --> 00:14:47,083
Zool, wait!
It's me, Medusa.
323
00:14:47,165 --> 00:14:48,332
Medusa?
324
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:50,750
Jeez. I hardly recognized ya.
325
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:53,625
So this is your day gig, huh?
326
00:14:53,709 --> 00:14:54,583
How's it goin'?
327
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:56,250
Eh, so so.
328
00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:59,250
Oh, do I gotta bust some heads?
329
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,250
No. No. I just feel like I'm...
330
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:04,542
I feel like I'm living a lie.
331
00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:06,208
[crying]
332
00:15:06,291 --> 00:15:08,834
Aw, well...
333
00:15:08,917 --> 00:15:10,625
Technically, you are.
334
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:11,667
Blow.
335
00:15:13,375 --> 00:15:15,000
Thank you.
336
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:18,792
Hey. You know... You're right.
337
00:15:18,875 --> 00:15:21,834
You're right. I'm just gonna show Hercules
the real me.
338
00:15:21,917 --> 00:15:24,250
Oh, thanks, Zool. You're a pal.
339
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:25,417
Aw, go on.
340
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,333
So, what's your assignment today?
341
00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:28,500
Eat some people.
342
00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:30,458
Huh. It's a no-brainer.
343
00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:34,165
Hercules?
344
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,583
Hercules.
345
00:15:35,667 --> 00:15:36,917
[running footsteps]
346
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,165
-Hey.
-Ah!
347
00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:39,165
Where you been?
348
00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:40,792
Can we talk?
349
00:15:40,875 --> 00:15:42,500
Sure. I'm just finishing up.
350
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:43,667
Uggh!
351
00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:46,040
Duck!
352
00:15:46,625 --> 00:15:47,500
Ah!
353
00:15:47,583 --> 00:15:50,165
Sorry, but, uh,
it's for your own safety.
354
00:15:52,165 --> 00:15:55,834
-[screams]
-Don't worry. It's fake.
355
00:15:55,917 --> 00:15:59,333
See?
So, what do you wanna talk about?
356
00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:03,125
Uh, I don't think now
is a good time, so...
357
00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:04,709
-Bye.
-Aw, come on. Hey, wait.
358
00:16:04,792 --> 00:16:08,125
We're friends, right?
So... so you can tell me anything.
359
00:16:08,208 --> 00:16:10,583
That's cute in a really naive way, Herc,
360
00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:12,834
but, nah, I think
I'll keep this one to myself.
361
00:16:12,917 --> 00:16:13,959
[coaxing] Come on.
362
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:17,083
What is so horrible
that you can't tell me?
363
00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:22,333
Nothing, I hope.
364
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:24,875
Well, Herc, you see...
365
00:16:29,583 --> 00:16:32,709
-[gasps]
-"Monsters are closer than they appear."
366
00:16:37,834 --> 00:16:39,709
You're the gorgon?
367
00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:42,542
Hey, good eye.
And you're only a hero-in-training?
368
00:16:42,625 --> 00:16:45,500
Oh! I'm so stupid! It was so obvious.
369
00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:47,000
How could I be so dumb?
370
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:50,208
You had my ID.
You picked me out to show you the school.
371
00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:53,165
-You even pretended to be my friend.
-I wasn't pretending, Hercules.
372
00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:54,542
I am your friend.
373
00:16:54,625 --> 00:16:57,458
I showed you everything--
Where I train, all my moves.
374
00:16:57,542 --> 00:17:00,208
-I showed you all my moves.
-Would you be quiet for one second!
375
00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:01,834
Now, why do you think I did all this?
376
00:17:01,917 --> 00:17:04,916
To get close to me so you...
could turn me into stone.
377
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,666
Look, if I wanted you stone,
you'd be stone.
378
00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:09,916
Well... what am I supposed to think?
379
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,666
I don't even know who you are.
380
00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:15,875
Funny. I was just thinking
the same thing about you.
381
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:28,250
So-ho, buddy boy,
382
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:30,375
did you ask Medusa out yet?
383
00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:33,625
Icarus, Medusa is the gorgon.
384
00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:34,834
What?
385
00:17:34,917 --> 00:17:35,959
The gorgon?
386
00:17:36,041 --> 00:17:38,792
[screaming]
387
00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:39,792
So, where are you gonna take her?
388
00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:41,458
Didn't you just hear what I said?
389
00:17:41,583 --> 00:17:42,792
She's the gorgon!
390
00:17:42,917 --> 00:17:44,792
The monster that turns people into stone.
391
00:17:44,875 --> 00:17:46,166
Oh, Herc.
392
00:17:46,250 --> 00:17:48,875
A relationship is built on compromises.
393
00:17:48,959 --> 00:17:50,792
Arrgh! Icarus!
394
00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:52,792
There is no relationship.
395
00:17:52,875 --> 00:17:55,041
Well, maybe there's not
a lot of eye contact,
396
00:17:55,125 --> 00:17:57,250
but she had a winning personality.
397
00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,166
She's a monster!
398
00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:02,250
A-- a freak!
399
00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:04,875
Oh, I see.
400
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,333
So the hero's too good
401
00:18:06,417 --> 00:18:09,583
to have a freak for a friend, huh?
402
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,959
Watcha gonna do, Herc?
You gonna get rid of her?
403
00:18:12,041 --> 00:18:14,041
You gonna go stick her head
in a purse?
404
00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:16,750
-Wh-- what? I--
-And then what?
405
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,583
You gonna get rid of all the freaks, huh?
406
00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:23,417
Who's next, Herc?
Freaks who flew too close to the sun?
407
00:18:23,542 --> 00:18:25,917
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do--
408
00:18:26,041 --> 00:18:28,458
What I should've done in the first place.
409
00:18:34,041 --> 00:18:36,083
OK, let's rock and roll!
410
00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:39,417
See, rock is a little joke,
'cause you turn people to stone. Get...
411
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:40,333
Uh, OK.
412
00:18:40,417 --> 00:18:42,083
Count me out.
I'm not up to it tonight.
413
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:43,500
Pardon?
414
00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:46,125
You signed a contract, remember?
415
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,667
No pay, no play.
416
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,333
Don't I get any sick days?
417
00:18:49,417 --> 00:18:52,959
OK. Why don't you tell
Unca Hades all about it,
418
00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:54,583
and you'll feel much better.
419
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,959
Well... OK.
420
00:18:57,041 --> 00:19:00,625
-There's this boy, and he's really cute.
-[Hercules] Medusa!
421
00:19:00,709 --> 00:19:02,041
I know that voice.
422
00:19:02,125 --> 00:19:04,083
-Hercules.
-Hercules?
423
00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:05,667
That's the guy?
424
00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,500
Correct me if I'm wrong.
425
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:09,917
But Hercules is a hero, is he not?
426
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,291
And heroes kill monsters like you.
427
00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:15,458
-Am I wrong?
-Sure, he hurt my feelings,
428
00:19:15,542 --> 00:19:16,709
but I don't think he would kill me.
429
00:19:16,792 --> 00:19:19,041
Oooogh!
That's a cute world you live in.
430
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:21,875
It really is. It's so nice.
Everybody gets along.
431
00:19:21,959 --> 00:19:24,375
Wake up, little girl!
432
00:19:24,458 --> 00:19:26,291
This kid is a gorgon-slayer.
433
00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:28,291
Then, he's coming here to...
434
00:19:30,291 --> 00:19:31,583
Duh.
435
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,750
No. No, I can't believe that.
436
00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:35,959
OK. Hey, but if I were you,
437
00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:38,333
I'd... turn him to stone.
438
00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:39,542
Just a suggestion.
439
00:19:39,625 --> 00:19:40,792
How's my head look? Is it on straight?
440
00:19:40,917 --> 00:19:42,375
Medusa!
441
00:19:42,458 --> 00:19:43,542
Are you here?
442
00:19:43,625 --> 00:19:44,583
-Come out!
-Go on, get outta here.
443
00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:46,291
I can take care of myself.
444
00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:47,792
All right, all right.
I'll just be over here if you need me.
445
00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:49,417
I gotta see a man about something.
446
00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:52,250
Um, over here, Hercules.
447
00:19:52,375 --> 00:19:53,333
Medusa?
448
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:54,458
[sigh]
449
00:19:54,583 --> 00:19:56,125
Lose the shield, hero.
450
00:19:56,208 --> 00:19:57,959
It's too dark to see the monster.
451
00:19:58,583 --> 00:20:00,458
Heh. I deserve that.
452
00:20:00,875 --> 00:20:03,250
That's why I brought you this.
453
00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:05,625
Ah-choo!
454
00:20:06,083 --> 00:20:07,375
-[gasps]
-What--
455
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,083
Oops.
456
00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:11,458
Ugh! You creep!
457
00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:13,875
Hey. Hey, not my fault.
I got a cold.
458
00:20:13,959 --> 00:20:16,125
Do I feel warm?
I feel, I feel warm, uh?
459
00:20:16,208 --> 00:20:18,959
Look, he was clearly going for his sword.
460
00:20:19,041 --> 00:20:20,125
Come on.
461
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:22,792
Flowers?
462
00:20:22,875 --> 00:20:25,333
He was coming to apologize.
463
00:20:25,417 --> 00:20:27,709
Oh! What have I done?
464
00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:31,542
Oops. Gee, guess I misjudged the guy.
465
00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:33,083
Gee, I feel awful.
466
00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:35,375
-Oh, well.
-[Aphrodite] Ahem.
467
00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:38,208
Uh, aren't you
forgetting something, Hades?
468
00:20:38,291 --> 00:20:39,333
♪ Aphrodite ♪
469
00:20:39,417 --> 00:20:40,375
♪ Aphrodite ♪
470
00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:42,458
♪ Aphrodite ♪
471
00:20:42,583 --> 00:20:46,291
Oy, Aprhodite,
again with the song.
472
00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:48,625
Mm-hmm. Now, I don't know,
473
00:20:48,709 --> 00:20:51,917
I'd say this qualifies
as "one true friend."
474
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,709
Make her human, loser.
475
00:20:53,792 --> 00:20:55,834
Hey, if I could only turn
one person to stone,
476
00:20:55,917 --> 00:20:57,417
I'm glad it was jerkules.
477
00:20:57,542 --> 00:20:58,417
I hate that kid.
478
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,166
Bada-bing! Human time.
479
00:21:09,208 --> 00:21:10,750
Whoa.
480
00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:12,000
Wha... What happened?
481
00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:14,375
Hey! Come on, no fair. Interference.
482
00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:16,834
Hey, what good is a true friend
if he's a rock?
483
00:21:16,917 --> 00:21:20,583
Uh, look... I don't know
what all this is about,
484
00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:22,375
but I came here on a mission.
485
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:25,041
Medusa, I, uh...
486
00:21:25,125 --> 00:21:27,375
I know I've been kinda, like, a jerk,
487
00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:30,125
but I was wondering
if you'd like to, um...
488
00:21:30,208 --> 00:21:33,291
[chuckles nervously]
go out with me tonight.
489
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:36,458
-Hmm?
-[sigh] Yeah.
490
00:21:36,542 --> 00:21:38,166
You know, I think my calendar's clean.
491
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:40,792
Ha! Well, then, let's go.
492
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:42,458
Uh, hold on.
493
00:21:42,542 --> 00:21:45,667
Um, I was just wondering if...
494
00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:48,166
Oh, yeah, of course.
Hey, you go, girl.
495
00:21:50,083 --> 00:21:52,375
I don't think we'll be needing this.
496
00:21:55,291 --> 00:21:58,250
Aw, that's so nice.
That's nice, huh?
497
00:21:58,333 --> 00:22:00,417
Kids got together, and, you know...
498
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:01,583
We're here...
499
00:22:01,667 --> 00:22:03,041
So, whadya think?
500
00:22:03,125 --> 00:22:05,750
Shall we make it a double date, huh?
501
00:22:05,875 --> 00:22:07,125
Grrrr!
502
00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:08,583
Heh! Hagh!
503
00:22:08,709 --> 00:22:09,583
Hephaestus.
504
00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:11,542
I-- I'm sorry, ma'am.
What was your name again?
505
00:22:11,625 --> 00:22:13,500
-I was just chatting with the nice lady.
-[growling]
506
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:15,875
I gotta go.
I gotta go shampoo my hair.
507
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,083
That's likely.
508
00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:23,041
[theme music playing]
34701
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