Original subtitles

♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

-♪ Is he bold? ♪

-♪ No one braver ♪

-♪ Is he sweet? ♪

-♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪

-♪ What a guy ♪

-♪ Hercules ♪

-♪ Ask his friends ♪

-♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪

-♪ Hercules ♪

-♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

-♪ Come on ♪

-♪ No one's fool ♪

♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪

♪ He's in trainin' ♪

♪ Smart and shy ♪

♪ And the nicest guy ♪

♪ No complainin' ♪

♪ He was a no one, a zero, zero ♪

♪ He'll never quit till he's a hero ♪

♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪

♪ From zero to hero ♪

♪ Herc is a hero ♪

♪ He'll be a hero ♪

Wait and see.

[Bob reading]

[Bob] The Underworld...

The pit of doom...

The maelstrom of anguish...

The sewer of suffering...

-The--

-[Terpsichore] Time out, Bob.

This is a downer.

You can't kick off a show

soundin' all down and gloomy.

[Bob] This is the Underworld.

It is down and gloomy.

Oh! Well, you go then.

Call us when you need a hot song.

[Bob] [clears throat]

The Underworld, the domain of Hades,

Lord of the Dead and not a nice guy.

All right.

What fun is in store for me today?

Well, your surliness,

I have a purchase order for brimstone.

Fine.

The demon spawn of sector three

want a ride-share program.

Ahh, great.

And the torture masters of Tartarus

are almost down to their last lash.

Whip requisition. Sign here...

And here.

Initial here...

Here...

And here.

Aah! I got to get out of this basement!

The other Gods get to make wine and love

and war!

They even get a view! What do I get?

Ugh!

Who is this?

Good question. who am I?

Oy. Another wasted pool cleaner.

What's the deal with this

Lethe water stuff again?

I--I forget.

Yeah. That would be why we call it

the Pool of Forgetfulness.

Huh?

Maybe a dip in the old Lethe pool

will help you forget your troubles.

Yeah, right.

What good's a God who can't remember--

Who he is?

Yes!

If Zeus and his God Squad

forget who they are,

I got a clear shot at the top!

My zip code will be 90210-lympus!

Ha!

Boys, we're gonna need some invitations.

I am gonna throw a pool party

they'll never forget!

Ha ha ha. Oh, wait. I'm sorry.

They will, won't they?

Whoa! I can't wait for

the Hero Weekend Workout Workshop.

Man, what a line-up!

"Dragon slaying tactics with Cadmus.

Advanced monster mangling with Agamemnon."

I'll be training with all the greats!

Don't get your hopes up, kid.

It's not what you know. It's who you know,

and, uh, they don't know you.

You know?

But it was your idea

in the first place, Phil.

Well, you see, I'm sorry, Herc.

You didn't make the cut.

What?

I was eating the evidence

so you wouldn't find out.

How could you do that?

I'm half goat. It's good paper.

"Sincere regrets.

There aren't enough heroic acts

on your resume.

Twelve labors short?"

-Phil?

-Aw, they just don't know potential

When they see it.

Give it a few years, kid.

You'll be teachin' that workshop.

"You are cordially--"

How many Js in cordially?

I put three. It's always better

to have too many.

Boys, how are the invitations coming?

"Zeus, Hera, Hermes."

Yeah, yeah. Good, good.

Wait a minute. "Trivia?" Who's that?

Tri-via! God of where three roads meet.

Oy! Oy! I sat next to that guy

at the roast for Prometheus.

Jeez! I thought he'd never shut up!

Lose him.

But don't you want

to get rid of all the Gods?

He's no threat. What's he gonna do,

he's gonna bore me

to death with useless information?

Lose him. Boom. Gone.

Deadex delivery!

A party at Hades'.

Sounds hot.

A pool party?

Ha ha ha!

Why didn't I think of that?

A pool party in the Underworld.

That is so out, it's in.

I'll take it from here, cats.

Do you know who was the first demiGod

to bowl a 300 game?

-Here we go.

-No, Trivia. Do please tell us.

We simply can't go on without knowing.

Just throw the ball!

I have started wars

that have taken less time

than this game. Throw it!

Fine. I'm only trying

to stimulate your minds, people.

How's he do that?

Didn't you know

you get more spin on the ball

from a Cumulonimbus cloud?

How about if put a spin on your--

Aries, Apollo, Athena, shindig alert.

Dig this, babes.

A party?

Whose?

Hmm! Empty. Isn't that nutty?

Hmm! Did you know the word snub is

of Scandinavian derivation?

Oh, spare me.

I do not want to go to one of Hades'

gloomy parties.

Talk about eternal torment.

What's the point of bellyaching?

You know Zeus is going to make us go.

I won't go and you can't make me!

You have to. He's your brother.

Aren't we playing bridge

with Odin and Frigga that night?

That's next week.

But, Hera...

Oh, all right.

Apollo! You're glowing, buddy!

Bacchus, my man! What, have

you been working out, babe?

Athena, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm. Air kiss.

Poseidon, wow, love that cologne.

What is that, Calvin Brine?

Nice, huh?

Aries! Love child. Visualize world peace.

Yeah!

What?

Hey! I got ya. Ha! Ba-da-bing. Ha ha ha!

[thunder]

Zeus! Hera. So glad you could make it.

Fashionably late, but here.

Oh. Sorry little brother.

Traffic on the River Styx was murder! Ha!

Ha! Murder. You get it?

Murder is your...

Murder! Murder! Ha! Murder.

Forget about it.

Literally.

[Apollo] Hummm!

[yawns]

Hmmm.

The nectar's warm.

It's so dismal down here.

I think my tan is fading.

I'll say! Even my shoes want out.

But I doubt-- oh!

[sizzling]

Oh, yeah.

My pool party has everything,

everything except a party and a pool!

Uh-uh! You shouldn't eat before you swim.

You could get an ungodly cramp.

Hey.

This is a pool party, all right?

Pool, swim. It's a combo.

No combo, no food.

OK? Capice?

[sighs] This isn't a party,

this is a wake!

Normally that would be a good thing, but--

Boys! Boys, come here.

Hey!

We need to pump some life

into this party, OK?

You're leavin'?

No, you're singing.

Now!

-Oh!

-Oh!

[lights whomp on]

♪ When the weather's ungodly hot ♪

♪ And you want to keep cool ♪

♪ Don't forget to hit

This refreshing spot ♪

♪ Or take a dip in the pool ♪

[lights whomp off]

Yeeh!

We'll go punish ourselves.

Save you the trouble.

Huh?

Come on, dear. We've paid our dues.

Oh, where'd we park that cloud?

Zeusey! Zeus, what,

are you leaving so soon?

Come on!

Oh, I was just looking

for the little God's room.

Go in the pool.

Is that sanitary?

I meant swim, swim in the pool.

Come on! Nobody makes a splash

like the big kahuna.

Dive in for me! Come on.

OK, but then I've got to be going.

See, I've got a divine intervention

scheduled at 4:00.

Come on! It's a party!

You got to party down!

Forget about work.

[diving board springs]

Come on in. The water's, uh--

What was I talking about?

Ooh yay!

Cannonball!

[all] Hmm?

Uh?

-Uh?h.

Calling all Gods!

Come and get it!

Uh, what's a God?

Me.

Just me.

[Bob] With the Gods' memories erased,

who would rule the seas,

manage the seasons,

guide the sun?

What would happen to the Grecian world

with only Hades in charge?

[shouting and yelling]

Something's really wrong.

Are you kidding?

It couldn't be more right.

These people need a hero.

And I need 12 good deeds

to get into that hero workshop.

That's the spirit!

-Carpe diem!

-What does that mean?

Got me, kid.

But it sounds go get 'em, though.

[rumbling]

[screaming]

Labor one, coming up. You're on.

Uh-oh!

[crowds cheering]

Hey!

Oops.

Hey, Apollo's chariot, without Apollo!

Whoa!

whoa!

-Hurray!

-We're saved!

Brave boy!

Way to go, kid! You're on fire today!

So is my house!

Thanks for the house warming.

Oh, uh, I'll take care of it.

Ugh!

Ugh!

Ugh!

-[crash]

-Uh-oh.

Anybody got a light?

Oh! This bed is as soft as a cloud.

It is a cloud!

Duh.

Yeow!

That explains the sky blue motif.

Ha ha ha!

Where do you suppose Zeus

keeps the thunderbolts?

Pain and Panic.

Lackeys of Hades.

[Pain] I can't believe the Gods

couldn't figure out

That Hades' party

was really an evil scheme.

Ha ha ha!

Well, that eases the pain

of the snub a little.

I must stop the Lord of the Underworld,

But how?

♪ The world's goin' crazy ♪

♪ While the Gods are out to lunch ♪

♪ There's no one in control now ♪

♪ The place is completely in a crunch ♪

♪ The party's on, its rockin' down ♪

♪ They're pockets of the shore ♪

♪ Since Demeter's gone bananas ♪

♪ In the summer, we get snow ♪

♪ Since the Gods went swimming ♪

♪ Their wits went down the drain ♪

♪ Why don't they remember? ♪

♪ Lethe water on the brain ♪

♪ The fish ain't busy bitin'♪

♪ Since Poseidon's all washed up ♪

♪ And no one feels like fightin' ♪

♪ Now that Ares' lost his stuff ♪

♪ Athens is in chaos ♪

♪ Since Athena went off her head ♪

♪ And mighty Zeus is low on juice ♪

♪ So he can't save the day ♪

♪ Can Trivia stomp Hades? ♪

♪ Before we go insane? ♪

♪ Why don't they remember? ♪

♪ Lethe water on the brain ♪

Zeus had a son, Hercules.

Half-God, half-mortal.

He'll do.

We'd better lock up.

Don't want any riff-raff gettin' in

while we're gone.

Ohh, finally!

The penthouse! Ha!

[rattles]

Did you lock this gate?

Of course.

Didn't want anybody

gettin' into your new home.

Like me?

Where's the key?

The key?

Yes. That little thing

that goes in this hole.

Well, we guessed

you'd have a skeleton key.

You have lots of skeletons.

And I'm about to add two more

to my collection!

Open it now!

[both shouting]

Ow! Ooh!

Aah! Ow!

Enough already!

Go get Hephaestus.

He built this gate. He can open it.

Sure thing!

-We won't let you down!

-We-- we probably will.

Goddess of Wisdom, we beseech you,

Athena, we beseech you,

Oh, Goddess, we beseech you.

Help us, Athena!

Is anyone here named Hercules?

We're beseeching here! Do you mind?

Ugh!

Ohh!

[man] Help us, help us.

Oh, Demeter. Demeter.

-Demeter, we beseech you! Please!

-Help us, Demeter. Help us.

Yo, Hercules, are you in here?

[lady] Oh, Trivia, he who knows so much

about that which matters so little,

who played the third spear carrier

from the left

in last year's production of Antigone?

You're kidding.

The Grecian world is crumbling around you,

and that's all you want help with?

It's about danger.

Oh. It was Kianecles, the extra.

Oh. Thank you.

Kid, I know you want

to beef up the resume,

but you're missin' the big picture.

[crash]

Oh!

The world's fallin' apart!

Forget that workshop!

We have to find out

why all the Gods have checked out!

This God is in.

Trivia, God of where three roads meet?

Oh, that comes in handy

in a time of crisis.

Don't sass. I could have you paved.

And it's Try-via!

Big diff! Come on, Herc.

You're Herc,

as in Hercules?

I've been looking for you.

Hades has done something to the Gods.

All of them? Even my father?

Every God but me.

I know I'm not the life of the party,

But the least Hades could do is

overthrow me, too.

He ust be trying

to take over Mount Olympus!

We've got to stop him!

Pegasus, to the Underworld!

[neighs]

[bird whistles]

Oh, my Gods.

Eh.

Uh.

Oh. Hmm?

Eegh!

Uh, excuse me, young man.

Do you know what this thing is?

Father, it's me, Hercules.

Don't you remember me?

Hercules?

You look familiar.

You're...

I'm your son.

Of course! I remember now.

My son!

Ha! Whoo! Speaking of Sun,

is it hot down here or what?

Ha ha. Think I'll take a dip in the pool

to cool off.

[Hercules] What did Hades do to them?

I saw blue scrolls of Hades Palace once.

There were several pools considered.

A pool of flesh-eating bacteria,

a pool of prickly heat,

a pool of forgetfulness.

Hello. Have we met?

I'm guessing they went with forgetfulness.

What are we going to do?

Did you know the average God loses

a pint of water

through perspiration every hour?

Yeah, so?

Your father almost remembered you

when he was perspiring.

I'm just riffing here.

Maybe there's a connection.

Yeah, maybe if the Gods

sweat off the water from that pool,

they'll get their memories back.

Thanks, Trivia.

I don't know why everyone

underestimates you.

You're really handy to have around.

Glad to be of help.

I do except burnt offerings,

but no red meat.

I'm trying to cut down.

You round up everybody

and take them to Hephaestus' volcano.

That'll make 'em sweat.

I'm gonna go make Hades sweat.

Pegasus, to Mount Olympus!

[neighs]

I just can't believe I locked myself out.

I tried a credit card, no luck.

So how's that comin'?

'Cause I got a rumba lesson

in a few minutes.

This is quality work.

Whoever built this is a real craftsman.

You built it. Congratulate yourself later.

Just open the thing now!

Ow!

As a hero in training,

I must ask you to step away from the gate.

Well, as the God in charge,

I must ask you to get lost!

I am empowered

by the might of all Olympus!

Yeah, yeah, good for you.

Oh, hey, pal, I just remembered

that you're not my handyman.

What was I thinking? You're my bouncer!

Bounce him!

Gotcha.

Arrgh!

Arrh.

Aah!

You know, I delegate well.

Work it out, people.

Feel the burn.

It's coming back to me.

I'm someone important.

Someone people look up to.

Why, I must be--

Supermodel!

-Ha! I'm too sexy.

-[whistle]

Aah!

You're going down!

Ow!

You OK, pal?

I'll be OK as long as I have you.

Aye! Y-you're scarin' me.

Ahh!

There's nothing like closing escrow.

Well, see ya later, loser boy!

Actually I won't be seeing you

because I'll hear you knockin'

but you can't come in.

Aah!

-Trivia!

-That's Try-via.

How did you get in there?

There's a little-known back door

I know about.

Never underestimate the power of Trivia.

You're no threat to me.

What are you, crazy?

Did you know Zeus' thunderbolts

can burn away a God's hide in less

than two nanoseconds?

Try-via, pal, try this on for size.

You take the west wing,

and I'll take the east wing.

We can do, like, a duo deity-dealy.

What do say? We'll schmooze and carry on.

Nice try, Hades!

You've got some explaining to do.

What's to explain?

You lost your mind. I was house-sitting.

Hey, speaking of houses,

I better get back to mine.

Ciao, babe. Ciao.

Oh, you have done well, son.

Some day the gates of Olympus

will open for you.

Really? I'm a God? A nice one?

You're pullin' my leg.

Hit the sauna. It'll come back to you.

Trust me.

Don't be a stranger, son!

Trivia--

Try-via.

We need to get to know each other better.

Sit next to me at dinner.

On the left or on the right?

Did you know that sitting

on the right hand of a God

signifies power, while sitting on the left

means pass the condiments.

Er, I just remembered, I already ate.

You're in, kid! You're in!

In what?

The Hero Weekend Workout Workshop!

And you're headlining! Look!

"Due to an abacus error,

we underestimated your talent.

we'd like you to be a guest speaker

at our forum?

High-level heroics with Hercules"!

Wow! I'm teaching a class!

Give me Five!

Aah!

Oy! Next time, give me one.

[theme music playing]