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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,333 --> 00:00:10,667 ♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪ 2 00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:12,083 ♪ Hercules ♪ 3 00:00:12,166 --> 00:00:14,542 ♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪ 4 00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:16,458 ♪ Hercules ♪ 5 00:00:16,542 --> 00:00:17,542 ♪ Is he bold? ♪ 6 00:00:17,625 --> 00:00:18,542 ♪ No one braver ♪ 7 00:00:18,625 --> 00:00:19,875 ♪ Is he sweet? ♪ 8 00:00:19,959 --> 00:00:21,959 ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪ 9 00:00:22,041 --> 00:00:24,041 -♪ What a guy ♪ -♪ Hercules ♪ 10 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,875 -♪ Ask his friends ♪ -♪ Hercules ♪ 11 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:26,875 ♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪ 12 00:00:26,959 --> 00:00:29,291 -♪ Hercules ♪ -♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪ 13 00:00:29,375 --> 00:00:30,625 ♪ Hercules ♪ 14 00:00:30,709 --> 00:00:32,083 ♪ Hercules ♪ 15 00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:33,750 -♪ Come on ♪ -♪ No one's fool ♪ 16 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,291 ♪ Now the boy's in school ♪ 17 00:00:35,375 --> 00:00:36,750 ♪ He's in trainin' ♪ 18 00:00:36,834 --> 00:00:37,917 ♪ Sun is shinin' ♪ 19 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,333 ♪ And the nicest guy ♪ 20 00:00:39,417 --> 00:00:40,834 ♪ No complainin' ♪ 21 00:00:40,917 --> 00:00:41,875 ♪ He was a no one ♪ 22 00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:43,709 ♪ Zero, zero, give him a quick deed ♪ 23 00:00:43,792 --> 00:00:44,917 ♪ He's our hero ♪ 24 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,458 ♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪ 25 00:00:48,542 --> 00:00:49,500 ♪ From zero to hero ♪ 26 00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:51,875 ♪ Herc is a hero ♪ 27 00:00:52,834 --> 00:00:57,625 ♪ He'll be a hero ♪ 28 00:00:57,709 --> 00:00:59,417 Wait and see! 29 00:01:01,709 --> 00:01:03,500 [Bob reading] 30 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:12,417 OK, boys, I haven't got all day. 31 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,542 Actually, I've got eternity. 32 00:01:14,625 --> 00:01:17,750 What am I talkin' about? I just don't wanna spend it with you two. 33 00:01:17,834 --> 00:01:20,458 OK, so, how's the business, huh? 34 00:01:20,542 --> 00:01:23,375 Everything's coming up lilies, your morbidness. 35 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,375 You flame-kissing little yutzes, ya. 36 00:01:25,458 --> 00:01:27,625 OK, details. Give me details. 37 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,417 Our gift shop, Death 'n' Stuff, 38 00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:32,291 is boasting record profits. 39 00:01:32,375 --> 00:01:33,709 Uh, too many details. 40 00:01:33,792 --> 00:01:36,500 Let's just focus on our core business, shall we? 41 00:01:36,625 --> 00:01:37,583 Dead people. 42 00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:38,542 -Aah. -[gulp] 43 00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:41,667 We experienced a slight decrease in new arrivals. 44 00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:43,458 That concludes our presentation. 45 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:44,792 Back up. 46 00:01:44,875 --> 00:01:48,250 What was that about "decrease in new arrivals"? 47 00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:50,834 Uh-- heh heh-- uh... 48 00:01:50,917 --> 00:01:54,375 It's, uh, not as bad as it looks, your vindictiveness. 49 00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:58,417 [gasps] Zero new dead people. 50 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,166 Well, that's great. That's just dandy. 51 00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,917 I told ya he wouldn't be mad. 52 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,333 Of course not. Can't you appreciate irony? 53 00:02:08,083 --> 00:02:09,000 [both scream] 54 00:02:09,417 --> 00:02:12,166 My business is dead people, 55 00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:14,500 and without dead people, 56 00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:17,125 my business is dead, people. 57 00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:19,500 [grunts and groans] 58 00:02:19,583 --> 00:02:21,583 Look, people die every day. 59 00:02:21,667 --> 00:02:24,000 They get sick, they whine about it, they kvetch, 60 00:02:24,083 --> 00:02:26,083 But they die. Boom. Ba-da-bing. Dead. 61 00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:29,583 So, if there's this rash of wellness going around, 62 00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:31,667 I would like to know who or what 63 00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:33,750 ungodly force is behind it. 64 00:02:33,834 --> 00:02:34,750 Ooh. 65 00:02:34,834 --> 00:02:36,542 I am Hippocrates. 66 00:02:36,625 --> 00:02:38,000 I am a doctor. 67 00:02:38,083 --> 00:02:39,917 I cure the sick. 68 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,750 -Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm. 69 00:02:45,417 --> 00:02:46,792 I am Hippocrates. 70 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,083 I am a doctor. 71 00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:50,250 I cure the sick. 72 00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:52,709 I am Hippocrates. 73 00:02:52,792 --> 00:02:54,250 I am a doctor... 74 00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:59,625 [Icarus] Hey, I have found my career. 75 00:02:59,709 --> 00:03:01,125 Thespian! 76 00:03:01,208 --> 00:03:02,250 So what do you think, Cassandra? 77 00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:04,208 You'd have to come out of your shell. 78 00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:05,709 I really don't need Career Day. 79 00:03:05,792 --> 00:03:07,875 I know what my career's gonna be. 80 00:03:07,959 --> 00:03:09,000 Hero. 81 00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:11,709 Heh heh. It's not just an adventure, 82 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,000 It's a job. 83 00:03:13,083 --> 00:03:14,500 Like the time Jason and me 84 00:03:14,583 --> 00:03:16,834 -took down the Caledonian Boar. -[crowd gasp] 85 00:03:16,917 --> 00:03:19,667 That bruiser had big yellow tusks 86 00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:22,583 as big as javelins and eyes... 87 00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:24,500 [Hercules] What's a doctor? 88 00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:26,291 Well, a doctor is a... 89 00:03:26,375 --> 00:03:29,959 guy who sits by himself at a booth 90 00:03:30,041 --> 00:03:32,959 because apparently it would seem that... 91 00:03:33,041 --> 00:03:34,709 I don't know! 92 00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:36,000 Nice try. 93 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,208 Doctor? Might as well be a fig farmer. 94 00:03:38,291 --> 00:03:42,000 So, uh, how's business? 95 00:03:42,208 --> 00:03:44,834 You actually know what a doctor is? You've heard of my work? 96 00:03:44,917 --> 00:03:47,750 Uh, no... on both counts. 97 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:49,959 I am Hippocrates. 98 00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:51,500 I am a doctor. 99 00:03:51,583 --> 00:03:54,291 I cure the sick. 100 00:03:54,375 --> 00:03:57,417 I thought curing the sick was something only the gods could do. 101 00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:58,333 And me. 102 00:03:58,417 --> 00:04:01,500 Now keep in mind, this was a big pig. 103 00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:05,291 So we staked out the north side olive grove-- hmm... 104 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:09,000 Ba-boom. Ba-boom. Ya see? It's a pump. 105 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:10,667 Excuse me, kids. 106 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,667 Ooh. Well, something's got his goat. 107 00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:16,291 Consumed by the green-eyed monster. 108 00:04:16,375 --> 00:04:17,792 Nah, I think he's just jealous 109 00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:19,082 that Herc is talking to that doctor guy. 110 00:04:19,166 --> 00:04:21,375 This is great. You sound just like a-- 111 00:04:21,457 --> 00:04:22,375 [Philoctetes] Hero. 112 00:04:22,457 --> 00:04:23,834 Phil, w-w-what's-- 113 00:04:23,917 --> 00:04:26,457 You, hero. Him, quack. 114 00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:28,959 No, Phil. He's a doctor. 115 00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:30,834 Pfft. That's a career? 116 00:04:30,917 --> 00:04:32,582 Might as well be a lawyer. 117 00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:33,667 [all] Hey. 118 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:36,457 But he cures sick people. 119 00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:38,667 Humph. I'd like to see that. 120 00:04:38,959 --> 00:04:39,875 Ooh. 121 00:04:41,792 --> 00:04:42,750 Phil. 122 00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:45,582 Ooh, acute subdural hematoma. 123 00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:47,917 We've gotta get him to my hospital. 124 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,457 We're off to the hospital... Whatever that is. 125 00:04:50,542 --> 00:04:53,125 All right. Hold up, baby. 126 00:04:53,207 --> 00:04:55,041 We know what you're thinking out there. 127 00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:58,542 You're thinking, "Mmm, that girl looks fine." 128 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,667 You're thinking, "What's so weird about a doctor?" 129 00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,667 The world's got so many. 130 00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:06,917 But, you see, in Herc's day, honey, there just weren't any. 131 00:05:13,750 --> 00:05:15,000 Sterilize the forceps. 132 00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:17,917 I may need to transect his post-infarctive corpus callosum. 133 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,082 Relax, my friends. 134 00:05:19,166 --> 00:05:22,834 My medical techniques are state of the art. Leeches stat. 135 00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:23,834 [roaring] 136 00:05:23,917 --> 00:05:24,792 Clear! 137 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:27,959 Aah! 138 00:05:29,582 --> 00:05:32,291 Hands off the fur, buster. 139 00:05:32,792 --> 00:05:34,542 Let's go, Herc. I want out of this nut house. 140 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,207 Hmm. 141 00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:38,375 Uh, Phil, I thought I might 142 00:05:38,457 --> 00:05:40,000 stick around for a while. 143 00:05:40,082 --> 00:05:41,875 This is fascinating. 144 00:05:41,959 --> 00:05:46,625 Join me as I push the envelope of medical science. 145 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,582 The only thing I'm pushin' is the door. 146 00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:50,375 [Hercules] Phil, w-w-what's-- 147 00:05:50,457 --> 00:05:53,332 You know, I could recommend a good veterinarian. 148 00:05:55,041 --> 00:05:56,207 [Philoctetes] I'm gone. 149 00:05:56,291 --> 00:05:58,000 Well, don't just stand there, lad. 150 00:05:58,082 --> 00:06:01,834 Join me in the great adventure called health care. 151 00:06:01,917 --> 00:06:03,125 [Hercules] Count me in. 152 00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:05,375 Icarus, you wanna stick around for awhile? 153 00:06:05,458 --> 00:06:06,875 M-m-might be a good idea. 154 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:10,083 ♪ used to be when you got sick ♪ 155 00:06:10,166 --> 00:06:12,375 ♪ You'd shrivel up and die real quick ♪ 156 00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:17,125 ♪ There wasn't much That anyone could do-o-o ♪ 157 00:06:17,207 --> 00:06:19,709 ♪ Ya had to leave your tonsils in ♪ 158 00:06:19,792 --> 00:06:22,291 ♪ And stick close by your Siamese twin ♪ 159 00:06:22,375 --> 00:06:25,667 ♪ But now those dark and dismal days Are through ♪ 160 00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:28,875 ♪ Because a different kind of hero ♪ 161 00:06:28,959 --> 00:06:32,041 ♪ Has just rolled into town ♪ 162 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,542 ♪ For pains and breaks and bellyaches ♪ 163 00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:36,542 ♪ He's good to have around ♪ 164 00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:39,291 ♪ Now Hercules is starry-eyed ♪ 165 00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:43,875 ♪ He thinks he'd like to be A different kind of hero ♪ 166 00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:47,959 ♪ Just like Dr. Hippocrates ♪ 167 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,250 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 168 00:06:51,332 --> 00:06:52,457 [woman announcing indistinctly over P.A.] 169 00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:54,375 You keep that clean at all times. 170 00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:57,207 We don't want to risk another middle eye infection. 171 00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:58,959 OK, Doc. See ya. 172 00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:05,709 That's the guy the boss wants us to knock off. Let's get him. 173 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:08,333 We can't. It's not our turn yet. 174 00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:10,041 [Icarus] Next. Mr. Smith. 175 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,500 Mr. John Smith. 176 00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:13,959 Nope? Anyone? 177 00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:15,208 [both] That's us. 178 00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:17,417 [Hercules] Coming through! 179 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,582 Don't worry, sir. You'll be feeling better in no time. 180 00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:21,000 -[groaning] Ohh. -Sorry about that. 181 00:07:21,082 --> 00:07:23,875 Hey, how come he got to go ahead of us? 182 00:07:23,959 --> 00:07:25,667 We were here first. 183 00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:28,291 Oh, that man was an emergency case, 184 00:07:28,375 --> 00:07:30,041 my impatient little patients. 185 00:07:30,125 --> 00:07:33,417 [both] Emergency? 186 00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:36,417 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 187 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:39,375 Hmm. A rowing accident, eh? 188 00:07:39,457 --> 00:07:42,792 We both feel so silly. 189 00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:43,875 I've seen worse. 190 00:07:48,959 --> 00:07:51,456 Doctor, come quickly. There's a patient in the E.R. 191 00:07:51,457 --> 00:07:53,166 with a sniffling nose. 192 00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:55,875 Great Zeus! Prep a crash cart stat. 193 00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:57,834 This is code blue. I repeat-- code blue! 194 00:08:01,542 --> 00:08:03,208 [woman announcing indistinctly over P.A.] 195 00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:06,041 I have never felt so soothed. 196 00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:08,834 I forgot why we even came here. 197 00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:14,041 [Hades] Could it possibly have been to kill the doctor? 198 00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:17,041 You idiots. What is that, cherry? 199 00:08:17,457 --> 00:08:18,291 Gimme a taste of that. 200 00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,792 Mmm. Nice. OK... 201 00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:23,709 The doctor is curing people. 202 00:08:23,792 --> 00:08:26,500 The business is going to, well, you know, to here. 203 00:08:26,582 --> 00:08:30,000 But we're gonna fight back. We're not gonna give up. 204 00:08:30,082 --> 00:08:30,917 Right? 205 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:31,959 This looks good. 206 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:35,040 An ouzo salesman wanted. Salary plus dental. 207 00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:36,040 Hmm. 208 00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,125 Right? 209 00:08:37,207 --> 00:08:40,082 But, your viciousness, this guy's good. 210 00:08:40,165 --> 00:08:42,917 Yeah. And now with Hercules working with him-- 211 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:47,750 Hercules? Oh, that's just great. 212 00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,500 Uh, sir, are-are you being ironic again? 213 00:08:51,583 --> 00:08:52,750 Because it's really hard to tell. 214 00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:54,667 Wait, wait, wait. This is great. 215 00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,834 Hercules always wants to help people. 216 00:08:56,917 --> 00:08:58,917 Little humanity helper Hercules. 217 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,166 Well, now he's gonna help me. 218 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:06,375 He can help me spread a little something 219 00:09:06,417 --> 00:09:09,709 Left over from Pandora's box. 220 00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:12,834 I think Dr. Die-Little 221 00:09:12,917 --> 00:09:16,542 is about to be "plagued" with troubles. 222 00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:18,792 Heh heh heh heh. 223 00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:23,500 Phil, where are you? 224 00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:24,500 [Philoctetes] Catch! 225 00:09:25,834 --> 00:09:28,709 OK, kid. Today we're gonna really sweat it up. 226 00:09:28,792 --> 00:09:32,500 Primo hero stuff. Come on. Come on. Get the iron out. 227 00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:34,000 Phil, I, uh... 228 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,667 Isn't it great to be back doin' what you were born to do? 229 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,750 I mean, Career Day is fun, but a doctor? Pfft. 230 00:09:39,834 --> 00:09:43,000 Hah. Well, that's all out of your system now, right? 231 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,000 Right? 232 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,417 Mmm, actually, 233 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:48,750 I-I was gonna ask if I could skip practice 234 00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:50,500 to help Hippocrates again. 235 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,208 You weren't planning anything special for today, were ya? 236 00:09:54,290 --> 00:09:57,290 Oh, no, nothing too special. 237 00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:01,083 Kid, you already got a career. 238 00:10:01,166 --> 00:10:04,041 But, Phil, I'm in training with Hippocrates, too. 239 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:08,125 Just maybe to be a different kind of... hero. 240 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,542 [gasps] Don't you dare 241 00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,792 use the "H" word for that guy. 242 00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:14,375 Yes. I just-- 243 00:10:14,458 --> 00:10:15,959 [man] Help! 244 00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:17,875 Help! 245 00:10:17,959 --> 00:10:20,125 We're gonna be smashed to bits. 246 00:10:20,208 --> 00:10:22,375 I have to save them. Hold on. 247 00:10:22,458 --> 00:10:23,458 I'm coming. 248 00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,542 [neighs] 249 00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:35,083 Gaah! Sushi. Yuck! 250 00:10:35,165 --> 00:10:37,250 Don't blow our cover, stupid. 251 00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:40,500 Good work, kid. I'm proud of ya. 252 00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:42,792 Ya see? That's what a real hero does. 253 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:46,290 Ow, my neck! I think I broke it. 254 00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:47,750 My arm! 255 00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:49,917 It hurts. 256 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,040 Phil, I have to take these people to the doctor. 257 00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:54,709 Hey, what am I, chopped mutton? I'm a trainer. 258 00:10:54,792 --> 00:10:58,165 I can handle an injury as good as any doctor. 259 00:10:58,250 --> 00:11:01,333 It's easy. Just a little elbow grease 260 00:11:01,417 --> 00:11:04,750 and a little more elbow grease. 261 00:11:04,834 --> 00:11:06,125 Ahh... 262 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,709 Walk it off, pops. 263 00:11:08,792 --> 00:11:11,000 I'm sorry, Phil, but these people need Hippocrates. 264 00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:12,959 [gasps] Grrr. 265 00:11:13,041 --> 00:11:15,875 I'll be back as soon as I drop them off at the hospital. 266 00:11:20,750 --> 00:11:21,750 Heh heh heh. 267 00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:39,417 [moaning and groaning] 268 00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:47,125 What's this? 269 00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:49,667 Oh, just a little plague. 270 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:53,165 Compliments of Hades, lord of the underworld. [laughs] 271 00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:55,375 [Hades] And you know what, Jerkules? Bada-boom. 272 00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:57,375 I couldn't have done it without you. 273 00:11:57,458 --> 00:11:59,458 You the man. Ho! 274 00:11:59,542 --> 00:12:03,250 Heh heh. The town is gonna put up a statue to you, 275 00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:05,750 if there's anybody left alive to build it! 276 00:12:05,834 --> 00:12:08,000 Hah! Gotta go. I'm too hip. Can't stay. 277 00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:09,291 [siren wailing] 278 00:12:10,333 --> 00:12:12,500 [moaning and groaning] 279 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,583 Incoming! 280 00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:25,458 Relax, mister. 281 00:12:25,542 --> 00:12:26,709 You'll live-- 282 00:12:26,875 --> 00:12:30,083 Until that chariot accident nine years from now. 283 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:34,250 Doctor, there's an alert in I.C.U. A patient's in danger. 284 00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:38,792 We have no time to lose. Fluids. 285 00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:40,040 Breathing's shallow. 286 00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:41,458 -Suction. -Heart rate's slow. 287 00:12:41,542 --> 00:12:42,583 [Hippocrates] Mustard plaster. 288 00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:43,709 I'm losing the pulse. 289 00:12:43,792 --> 00:12:45,792 Come on. Come on. 290 00:12:45,875 --> 00:12:47,040 Live. 291 00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:49,040 Live, you idiot. 292 00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:55,583 We lost him. 293 00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,875 I lost him. 294 00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:02,834 Oh, yeah! We are open for business. 295 00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:03,750 Yeah! 296 00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:04,875 It's a great day to be dead. 297 00:13:04,959 --> 00:13:06,000 -[cheering] -Yeah. 298 00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:08,041 Ooh, yeah. Get down. 299 00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:10,417 Come on down. Ooh, hey, come on down. 300 00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:14,375 ♪ Ohh, what a shame ♪ 301 00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:19,083 ♪ Looks like Hades Is back on top of his game ♪ 302 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:22,250 ♪ Our boys could use a break ♪ 303 00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:26,667 ♪ Time out ♪ 304 00:13:27,792 --> 00:13:29,583 I should've listened to my mother, 305 00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:31,291 gone into fig farming. 306 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:34,250 Who was I kidding to think I could do what you do? 307 00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:37,165 Darn it, I'm a hero, not a doctor. 308 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,709 Hey, a pity party. Oh, I love these. 309 00:13:40,792 --> 00:13:42,709 It's over, Icarus. 310 00:13:42,792 --> 00:13:45,083 I lost a patient. 311 00:13:45,165 --> 00:13:46,917 It was all my fault. 312 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,250 Oh, come on. You can't quit now. 313 00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:52,959 What about all those patients in there who still need you? 314 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,375 Icarus, I-- 315 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:57,458 Don't you "Icarus, I" me. 316 00:13:57,542 --> 00:13:59,750 Ya can't give up. Sure, things look bad. 317 00:13:59,834 --> 00:14:01,166 Sure, the whole city's sick. 318 00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:04,083 Sure, you can't do a ding dang diddly about it. 319 00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:06,500 But, you... uh... 320 00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:08,625 Whoa. Now I'm depressed. 321 00:14:08,709 --> 00:14:10,959 He's right. We can't quit now. 322 00:14:11,041 --> 00:14:12,625 Oh, yes, we can. 323 00:14:12,709 --> 00:14:15,417 A true hero doesn't give up without a fight. 324 00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:18,000 If his sword doesn't work, he tries arrows. 325 00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:21,000 If arrows don't work, he tries spears. 326 00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:24,750 Rule number 157. Phil taught me that. 327 00:14:24,834 --> 00:14:27,417 Wait a moment. That's it. 328 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,875 I've been toying with something radically new. 329 00:14:30,959 --> 00:14:33,290 It's called "medicine." 330 00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:34,750 Medi-what? 331 00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,709 Ach, what am I saying? It's impossible. 332 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,375 The ingredients are very rare. They're scattered all over the world. 333 00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:41,375 Hey, that's my kind of job. 334 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,583 OK, here's what I need. 335 00:14:45,165 --> 00:14:48,542 [Calliope] And that, honey, was the world's first prescription. 336 00:14:48,625 --> 00:14:52,040 And it was the only one that was ever free. 337 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,417 [neighs] 338 00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:11,750 [roaring] 339 00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,166 [Hercules] Here ya go. 340 00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:29,792 Oh, great. Great. Excellent. Excellent. Why the shark? 341 00:15:29,875 --> 00:15:31,792 [grunts] It says right here on your paper-- 342 00:15:31,875 --> 00:15:34,290 "Eyes of a killer shark." 343 00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:36,959 Heh heh. No, you just can't read my writing. 344 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,542 It says, "Eggs of a winter lark." 345 00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:40,834 See? 346 00:15:40,917 --> 00:15:44,959 Oh, I feel bad for the shark. Hey! 347 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,290 Here goes nothin'. 348 00:15:54,375 --> 00:15:55,625 Ahhh! 349 00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:56,792 It works. 350 00:15:56,875 --> 00:15:58,625 We can cure the plague. 351 00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:04,375 Yes, but the battle's not won until we cure all of Athens. 352 00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:30,500 [groaning and moaning softly] 353 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,667 Oh, ya did it, Doc! 354 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,333 Ya stopped a plague! 355 00:16:42,417 --> 00:16:44,208 ♪ You stopped a plague N-n-no more plague ♪ 356 00:16:44,917 --> 00:16:49,250 I know. Ha. And it took every last drop of medicine. 357 00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:51,542 ♪ N-n-no more medicine N-n-no more medicine ♪ 358 00:16:51,625 --> 00:16:54,165 Boy, I'd like to see Hades' face now. 359 00:16:55,208 --> 00:17:00,041 How's this, Mr. Buttinski? Huh? You like this face? 360 00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:01,959 Do ya? Good. 361 00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:04,500 ♪ Hades is here, Hades is-- ♪ 362 00:17:04,583 --> 00:17:05,750 Ho. 363 00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:09,416 So, Doc, I hear you're all out of medicine. 364 00:17:09,541 --> 00:17:10,916 And that's, hey, too bad, 365 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:13,458 'cause I saved a little smidgen of plague 366 00:17:13,541 --> 00:17:15,208 just for you. 367 00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:23,083 Physician, heal thyself! Heh heh. 368 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,083 OK, Doc, babe, catch ya later, huh? 369 00:17:26,165 --> 00:17:28,290 Downstairs. You know what I mean? 370 00:17:40,542 --> 00:17:43,750 Hello, Doc! Welcome to my underworld, 371 00:17:43,834 --> 00:17:46,000 Home of eternal torment since the dawn of time. 372 00:17:46,125 --> 00:17:47,083 How ya doin', babe? 373 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:50,041 And let me be the first to say, "Mahalo, aloha," 374 00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:53,375 which means "Do you prefer regular or extra crispy?" 375 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:56,041 Nice. Hey, Doc, seriously. You know what burns my butt? 376 00:17:56,166 --> 00:17:59,291 Little flame about that high. Boom. Ha! Gotta go. 377 00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:02,000 [coughs] 378 00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:04,291 You know, I could help you with that cough. 379 00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:09,166 [pants] Phil, there you are. I need you. 380 00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:11,542 What's the matter, run out of gauze? 381 00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:13,083 Phil, I'm late 382 00:18:13,166 --> 00:18:15,375 because I spread plague all over the city. 383 00:18:15,458 --> 00:18:16,583 I had to help cure it. 384 00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:18,667 Sure. What's more important, 385 00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:22,959 The lives of thousands or a coach's broken heart? 386 00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:24,834 Phil, come on. 387 00:18:24,917 --> 00:18:28,375 You made your choice, Nurse-ules. 388 00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:30,500 I know what kind of hero I was meant to be, 389 00:18:30,625 --> 00:18:34,000 and I need your help, coach. 390 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,500 Sign me up, kid. 391 00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:42,250 Next time, remind me to ask where we're goin' 392 00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:43,917 before I say, "Sign me up." 393 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,417 the River Styx. oh, boy! ooh. 394 00:18:52,959 --> 00:18:55,959 Be gone, mortals. 395 00:18:56,083 --> 00:19:00,500 None but the dead may ride. 396 00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:06,583 Say, pal, maybe you could bend the rules a little for a peek at this. 397 00:19:06,959 --> 00:19:08,583 The Greekly World News? 398 00:19:08,709 --> 00:19:11,625 Oh, man, I haven't seen the sports page 399 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,625 since back when the Giants were still in Sparta. 400 00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:14,834 Hop in! 401 00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:22,667 The Trojans still stink? Those guys can't buy a break. 402 00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:26,291 What do you expect with that lame-o Priam running the team? Ha. 403 00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:29,583 End of the line. 404 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:30,709 [Philoctetes] This is it? 405 00:19:30,792 --> 00:19:33,500 [Charon] It's the back way in. If I took you any further, 406 00:19:33,625 --> 00:19:36,166 I might get in dutch with the boss, know what I mean? 407 00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:39,083 No problem. Here, keep the paper. 408 00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:42,041 All right! The funnies! 409 00:19:42,125 --> 00:19:44,417 Heh heh heh heh heh. 410 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,375 Heh heh heh heh heh. 411 00:19:46,458 --> 00:19:47,792 Now what? 412 00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:51,834 We climb. Shouldn't be a... [strains] problem. 413 00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:54,208 Isn't there an easier way to get up there? 414 00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:55,709 [yells] 415 00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:57,792 [Hercules] Phil, if you need help, just say so. 416 00:19:58,291 --> 00:19:59,458 Phil, what are you doing? 417 00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:02,083 I'm gettin' a pedicure. What do ya think? 418 00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:04,208 Help! 419 00:20:04,291 --> 00:20:06,417 Oh, no. Anything but the furies. 420 00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:09,834 Whoa. 421 00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:21,208 Will ya hurry it up, kid? 422 00:20:21,291 --> 00:20:22,709 I'm runnin' out of wool here. 423 00:20:33,959 --> 00:20:35,542 Here, you drive. 424 00:20:40,041 --> 00:20:42,667 Great work, kid. Too bad we're gonna get killed. 425 00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:44,291 [both] Aah! 426 00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:52,166 [Hercules] Unh. Hades... 427 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:54,583 In the name of all that's good and decent, 428 00:20:54,667 --> 00:20:57,000 I demand that you let Hippocrates go. 429 00:20:57,125 --> 00:21:00,166 Let him go? Take him, please. 430 00:21:00,291 --> 00:21:01,583 I'm pulling my flame out here. 431 00:21:01,709 --> 00:21:03,834 This guy is curing dead people. 432 00:21:03,917 --> 00:21:07,000 OK, I'm in the negative. This is unprecedented. 433 00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:09,250 Get him outta here, please! 434 00:21:09,333 --> 00:21:11,500 Hippocrates, come on. 435 00:21:11,583 --> 00:21:14,375 Yeah, ya can ditch the domain of the dead now. 436 00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:17,709 Please, they prefer to be called the "life challenged." 437 00:21:17,792 --> 00:21:19,709 And they need a good doctor. 438 00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:23,208 But, sir, the-the living need you more. 439 00:21:23,291 --> 00:21:26,709 Look, Doc, I had my doubts, but you are a bona fide hero, 440 00:21:26,792 --> 00:21:29,166 And we need all the heroes we can get. 441 00:21:29,291 --> 00:21:32,500 Your place is with us. That's where you can do the most good. 442 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,625 Yeah, but not too much good, right? 443 00:21:34,709 --> 00:21:37,625 I mean, look, why don't ya just take a day off once in a while? 444 00:21:37,709 --> 00:21:40,667 Relax a little. Wednesdays. Take Wednesdays off. Boom. 445 00:21:40,792 --> 00:21:42,375 I wouldn't know what to do with myself. 446 00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:44,166 Well, you'll relax. Ya play a game. 447 00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:46,583 There's a new one. I'm gonna invent it right now. What? Golf. 448 00:21:46,667 --> 00:21:49,417 Here, OK? You'll love it. Golf. OK? 449 00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:53,625 Golf. Interesting. 450 00:21:53,750 --> 00:21:56,667 Oy, let's go, Doc. 451 00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:57,709 And that's not all. 452 00:21:57,792 --> 00:22:00,125 I got a ton of great medical ideas for you, OK? 453 00:22:00,208 --> 00:22:01,834 Example-- double billing. 454 00:22:01,917 --> 00:22:03,583 You get paid twice for something you did once. 455 00:22:03,709 --> 00:22:05,875 It's great. And no more house calls. 456 00:22:05,959 --> 00:22:09,041 You are an important man. Let them come to you. 457 00:22:09,125 --> 00:22:12,000 Here's a great one. HMOs! 458 00:22:12,083 --> 00:22:14,333 Hey, you'll love it. Come here. Come back. 459 00:22:14,417 --> 00:22:17,000 That's good. You have-- that's what a doctor should be-- unavailable. 460 00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:18,583 Good-bye. I love ya. Good-bye. 461 00:22:21,291 --> 00:22:23,166 [theme music playing] 33131

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