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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,542 ♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪ 2 00:00:10,625 --> 00:00:11,959 ♪ Hercules ♪ 3 00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:14,542 ♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪ 4 00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:16,332 ♪ Hercules ♪ 5 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,375 ♪ Is he bold? ♪ 6 00:00:17,458 --> 00:00:18,458 ♪ No one braver ♪ 7 00:00:18,542 --> 00:00:19,750 ♪ Is he sweet? ♪ 8 00:00:19,834 --> 00:00:21,834 ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪ 9 00:00:21,917 --> 00:00:23,917 -♪ What a guy ♪ -♪ Hercules ♪ 10 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,750 -♪ Ask his friends ♪ -♪ Hercules ♪ 11 00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:26,750 ♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪ 12 00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:28,834 -♪ Hercules ♪ -♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪ 13 00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:30,500 ♪ Hercules ♪ 14 00:00:30,583 --> 00:00:31,959 ♪ Hercules ♪ 15 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,625 -♪ Come on ♪ -♪ No one's fool ♪ 16 00:00:33,709 --> 00:00:35,166 ♪ Now the boy's in school ♪ 17 00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,625 ♪ He's in trainin' ♪ 18 00:00:36,709 --> 00:00:37,792 ♪ Sun is shinin' ♪ 19 00:00:37,875 --> 00:00:39,208 ♪ And the nicest guy ♪ 20 00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:40,750 ♪ No complainin' ♪ 21 00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:42,083 ♪ He was a no one ♪ 22 00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:43,583 ♪ Zero, zero, give him a quick deed ♪ 23 00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:44,792 ♪ He's our hero ♪ 24 00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:48,500 ♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪ 25 00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:49,500 ♪ From zero to hero ♪ 26 00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,000 ♪ Herc is a hero ♪ 27 00:00:52,709 --> 00:00:57,917 ♪ He'll be a hero ♪ 28 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,667 Wait and see! 29 00:01:01,709 --> 00:01:03,792 [Bob reading] 30 00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:08,583 [narrator] Some say the greatest inventor 31 00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:11,125 in all antiquity was Daedalus-- 32 00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:12,959 The master artificer. 33 00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:14,125 Some even claim that he-- 34 00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,959 [Terpsichore] Hello, narrator, dude? 35 00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:18,291 [narrator] Oh, for heaven's sakes, now what? 36 00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:21,583 Uh, just who are these some people? 37 00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:26,083 [narrator] Well, me. I'm saying it and I wasn't finished. 38 00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:28,458 Now don't go gettin' all icy on us. 39 00:01:28,542 --> 00:01:31,250 'Cause we got the dish on Daedalus, honey. 40 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,333 He invented the first compass, 41 00:01:34,417 --> 00:01:36,041 Put the sail in sailing, 42 00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:38,250 and the fold in folding chairs. 43 00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:40,000 -He was... -[narrator] Da bomb? 44 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:42,208 That was not one of his. 45 00:01:42,291 --> 00:01:45,625 But he did cook up the wax wings that got his son brain-fried. 46 00:01:45,709 --> 00:01:46,583 [crash] 47 00:01:46,667 --> 00:01:48,792 [narrator] Ahh, his son, Icarus. 48 00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,166 I was getting to that. 49 00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:51,959 Well, get to it! 50 00:01:52,041 --> 00:01:54,667 [narrator] Ahem. Yes, well, in today's story, 51 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,625 Daedalus, shop teacher at Prometheus Academy 52 00:01:57,709 --> 00:01:59,291 and father of Icarus, 53 00:01:59,375 --> 00:02:01,375 faces the greatest challenge of his life. 54 00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:06,542 A certain all-thumbs student named Hercules. 55 00:02:06,625 --> 00:02:09,333 There are approximately 12 of you. 56 00:02:11,041 --> 00:02:12,875 You are all adolescents. 57 00:02:13,542 --> 00:02:17,417 Therefore, you must be my new class. 58 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:20,542 We shall begin molding your tender young minds 59 00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:22,792 with a group project. 60 00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:25,208 A solar-powered catapult? 61 00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:27,208 And you are? Hercules. 62 00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:30,458 Ahh, Icarus has told me of you. 63 00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:33,375 Hero-in-training. And strong... 64 00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:35,542 Abnormally so. 65 00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:37,959 Well, yeah, I, uh, huh? 66 00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:39,208 Meaningless here! 67 00:02:39,291 --> 00:02:41,041 In this room, we are not heroes. 68 00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:43,583 We are inventists! 69 00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:46,959 Creatons! Manipuladores! 70 00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:48,000 Hey! 71 00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:51,917 Behold the greatest gift of all-- 72 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,625 Raw manual dexterity. 73 00:02:53,709 --> 00:02:57,375 You, hero, shall operate the trigger on the catapult. 74 00:02:57,458 --> 00:02:59,917 Try not to blow it, Destructo boy. 75 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,542 We get a group grade on this. 76 00:03:01,625 --> 00:03:04,917 Sunlight enters and reflects off the mirror. 77 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,917 This glass focuses the solar rays on the string-- 78 00:03:08,041 --> 00:03:10,792 Burning! Burning! 79 00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:12,458 Activating the device. 80 00:03:12,542 --> 00:03:14,375 Can't you just do this? 81 00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:15,500 No. 82 00:03:16,709 --> 00:03:19,250 [all screaming] 83 00:03:22,417 --> 00:03:25,667 I'll see you after school, hero. 84 00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:33,625 [Hercules] I just don't think I'm cut out for shop class. 85 00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:34,792 It could be worse. 86 00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:37,041 It could be home greconomics. 87 00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:40,709 Or gym. The bane of my existence. 88 00:03:40,792 --> 00:03:42,458 At least those classes serve a purpose. 89 00:03:42,542 --> 00:03:44,250 Shop class is useless. 90 00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:48,333 And we define useless as "something you're not good at?" 91 00:03:48,417 --> 00:03:51,041 Precision cut. 92 00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:53,583 I'm serious. I'm a hero-in-training, 93 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,792 not a manipuladore. 94 00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,083 Whatever that is. 95 00:03:57,166 --> 00:04:01,166 Well, hello, it's a synonym for Creaton. 96 00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:03,291 [Panic] Come on, we're going to be late. 97 00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:04,750 Maybe you're going to be late, 98 00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:06,375 but I'm not going to be late. 99 00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:07,417 Pain! 100 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,583 And panic. 101 00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:10,583 [Both] Reporting for duty! 102 00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:16,709 [Pain] Hello? Hades? 103 00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:18,207 Yoo-hoo? 104 00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:22,792 What about our weekly "scheme to rearrange the cosmos" meeting? 105 00:04:22,875 --> 00:04:24,709 I thought attendance was mandatory. 106 00:04:24,792 --> 00:04:26,625 Hades left a note. 107 00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,375 Does he say anything about me? 108 00:04:28,457 --> 00:04:31,000 "Boys, gone to trick my brother, Poseidon, 109 00:04:31,082 --> 00:04:32,792 into rearranging the cosmos. 110 00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:36,000 Signed, soon to have much power, Hades. 111 00:04:36,082 --> 00:04:38,041 P.S. You're late!" 112 00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:39,709 Oh, forgive us, Hades! 113 00:04:39,792 --> 00:04:43,000 We are naught but your toadies. 114 00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:45,332 Wait, he's not even here. 115 00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:47,709 Man, he's good. 116 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,667 [Poseidon laughing] 117 00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,917 Say, brother, did I ever tell you about 118 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,792 when I invented the marine mammal? 119 00:04:57,875 --> 00:05:00,542 Yeah, Poseidon, about a zillion times. Anyway... 120 00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:02,208 'Course, the first few drowned. 121 00:05:02,291 --> 00:05:03,917 You know, uh, mammals. 122 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,750 Ha. Then it hit me-- blowhole! Ha ha! 123 00:05:07,834 --> 00:05:08,834 Look at him go! 124 00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,083 Here you try it. 125 00:05:10,166 --> 00:05:11,333 Hold it in your teeth. 126 00:05:14,875 --> 00:05:16,792 Cute. No, really. 127 00:05:16,875 --> 00:05:18,750 Ahh, they can't help but be. 128 00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:20,457 -I designed them that way. -[Dolphin clicking] 129 00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:23,750 What can I say? You're a God. 130 00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:26,959 In fact, why are you stuck in this backwater water? 131 00:05:27,709 --> 00:05:30,000 You are obviously almighty material. 132 00:05:30,082 --> 00:05:32,291 Well, I'm mighty. There. 133 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:35,125 A tidal wave just blew out Lemnos beach. 134 00:05:35,207 --> 00:05:36,875 Splash! [laughs] 135 00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:40,792 Nice, but I'm talking almighty like--like Zeus. 136 00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:43,375 He's got heavens and the earth. 137 00:05:43,457 --> 00:05:46,375 And you, you've got water and a big fork, OK? 138 00:05:46,457 --> 00:05:48,291 I mean, grant it, it's a lot of water 139 00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:50,500 and, you know, a really nice big fork. 140 00:05:50,582 --> 00:05:53,959 But... [chuckles] you need, you need, uh, people. 141 00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:55,875 Yeah, that's--that's where it's at, bro. 142 00:05:55,959 --> 00:05:57,750 People praising and worshiping 143 00:05:57,834 --> 00:06:00,125 and offering offerings. 144 00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:03,375 Offerings, huh? [laughs] 145 00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:05,792 Things have been a little slow in that department. 146 00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:08,625 See? It's like shooting fish in a barrel. 147 00:06:08,709 --> 00:06:09,792 Bada bing. 148 00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:12,750 We gotta get you a city-state. 149 00:06:12,834 --> 00:06:14,834 Like, uh, I dunno, I see you with, like, uh, 150 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,834 Athens. 151 00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:19,667 If it were up to me, I would give you Athens. 152 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,041 Oop, did I say Athens? 153 00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:23,166 Poseidopolis. [chuckles] 154 00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:25,834 Poseidopolis. How does that sound? Huh? Nice, huh? 155 00:06:25,917 --> 00:06:28,582 Poseidopolis? [laughs] 156 00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:31,457 You know, of course, it's not up to me. It never will be. 157 00:06:31,542 --> 00:06:33,750 Unless? Nah, nah. 158 00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:35,375 What? What? Unless what? 159 00:06:35,457 --> 00:06:37,417 It's mshuga. It's crazy talk. 160 00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:41,500 The river Sstyx is the official border of my domain. 161 00:06:41,582 --> 00:06:44,166 You see, if the river Styx 162 00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:46,959 were to alter its course to say, you know, include Greece. 163 00:06:47,041 --> 00:06:48,332 Nah, it's crazy talk. 164 00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:51,125 Unless some aqua deity 165 00:06:51,207 --> 00:06:54,834 with the power to move rivers would intervene 166 00:06:54,917 --> 00:06:58,000 to make Greece part of the underworld, 167 00:06:58,082 --> 00:07:01,458 then of course it would be my call who gets... 168 00:07:01,542 --> 00:07:03,458 Athens! [chuckles] 169 00:07:03,542 --> 00:07:05,625 Yeah, right. 170 00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:08,959 Wait a minute. I could do that! 171 00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:11,458 Oh, what, you think I was serious? 172 00:07:11,542 --> 00:07:14,083 I can't give you Athens. Geez. 173 00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:16,750 The jewel of Greek city-states? Never. 174 00:07:16,834 --> 00:07:18,041 Please! 175 00:07:18,125 --> 00:07:19,375 Please! 176 00:07:19,457 --> 00:07:21,792 OK, shake. Ooh, what a dealmaker you are. 177 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,291 What a hundler, huh? 178 00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:25,542 And they say you're wet behind the ears, huh? 179 00:07:29,291 --> 00:07:31,207 We shall start at the beginning, you and I. 180 00:07:31,291 --> 00:07:33,625 The basics. Ah, here. 181 00:07:33,709 --> 00:07:36,125 Behold the fundamental machine. 182 00:07:36,207 --> 00:07:37,375 The lever. 183 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,457 Sublimely simple. Say it with me. 184 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,082 Got it. No, say lever! 185 00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:42,291 Never mind. 186 00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:43,959 Here's a working model. 187 00:07:44,041 --> 00:07:46,709 In the words of my close, personal friend Archimedes, 188 00:07:46,792 --> 00:07:48,542 give me a lever long enough, 189 00:07:48,625 --> 00:07:49,959 a fulcrum high enough, 190 00:07:50,041 --> 00:07:51,456 a place to stand, 191 00:07:51,457 --> 00:07:53,250 and I'll kiss you on the nose. 192 00:07:53,332 --> 00:07:54,332 He was a strange man. 193 00:07:54,417 --> 00:07:55,959 But now, you see, we can lift objects 194 00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:57,750 that would otherwise be too large, 195 00:07:57,834 --> 00:07:59,332 too, um, um, heavy. 196 00:07:59,417 --> 00:08:01,041 Too heavy? [scoffs] 197 00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:03,542 It's just an anvil. See? 198 00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:07,667 [Hercules screams] 199 00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:10,041 [grunts] 200 00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:16,875 Icarus, I am dropping your dad's dumb shop class. 201 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:20,792 Hey, dad-alus' class is not dumb. 202 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,709 He's a great inventist. 203 00:08:22,792 --> 00:08:25,125 Oh, come on. Those widgets of his are useless. 204 00:08:25,207 --> 00:08:28,417 [scoffs] His widgets? Useless! 205 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:31,542 Need I remind you of the milkqueduct. 206 00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:32,834 You call this useless? 207 00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:38,625 OK, well, how about his lyre-crossbow 208 00:08:38,709 --> 00:08:40,000 for the poet-warrior? 209 00:08:41,207 --> 00:08:42,667 But wait, 210 00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:43,834 there's more. 211 00:08:43,917 --> 00:08:47,750 His self-sacrificing sheep! 212 00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,290 I rest my case. 213 00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:51,208 Totally useless. 214 00:08:54,165 --> 00:08:58,667 [clicking] 215 00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:03,083 [Poseidon] Styx, goddess of the river of the underworld, 216 00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:07,375 by my divine power as lord of the waters, 217 00:09:07,458 --> 00:09:10,041 I command you! 218 00:09:15,083 --> 00:09:16,959 Ah, squid. 219 00:09:17,041 --> 00:09:19,250 Gotta remember to lube this thing. Come on! 220 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,750 Dad-alus's inventions are genius! 221 00:09:29,834 --> 00:09:31,000 They're useless, Icarus. 222 00:09:31,083 --> 00:09:32,000 They're genius. 223 00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:33,375 And the class is useless. 224 00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:34,542 [Casandra] Uh, guys... 225 00:09:34,625 --> 00:09:36,792 Hate to interrupt this free flow of ideas, 226 00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:38,542 but I see a disaster coming. 227 00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:40,500 Can the vision wait, hon? 228 00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:42,417 I'm not talkin' distant future. 229 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,750 This is instant future. 230 00:09:57,917 --> 00:10:01,458 ♪ Old flame top is honing ♪ 231 00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:04,709 ♪ A plan for rezoning ♪ 232 00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:10,709 ♪ And takin' his show on the road ♪ 233 00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:15,291 ♪ Just look at him gloating ♪ 234 00:10:15,375 --> 00:10:19,208 ♪ While busily boding ♪ 235 00:10:19,291 --> 00:10:25,125 ♪ That ego must be quite a load ♪ 236 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,375 Come on, ladies, sing along with Hades. 237 00:10:29,959 --> 00:10:34,125 ♪ Let me show you girls Around in my town ♪ 238 00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:35,375 ♪ New hades ♪ 239 00:10:35,458 --> 00:10:39,792 ♪ Sure beats livin' Underground in my town ♪ 240 00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:40,917 ♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪ 241 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,959 ♪ I got a penthouse on Spark Avenue ♪ 242 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,040 ♪ I'd like you to see ♪ 243 00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:48,792 ♪ Museums and parks and works of art ♪ 244 00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:51,917 ♪ Are, hey, dedicated to me ♪ 245 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,959 ♪ The shop at doom and Gloomingdales In my town ♪ 246 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,333 ♪ In his town ♪ 247 00:10:57,417 --> 00:10:58,667 ♪ We'll dine tonight ♪ 248 00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:01,834 ♪ In Togas and tails in, yeah, my town ♪ 249 00:11:01,917 --> 00:11:03,000 ♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪ 250 00:11:03,083 --> 00:11:04,083 ♪ I'm the host ♪ 251 00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:05,875 ♪ Who loves to toast ♪ 252 00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:07,875 ♪ Another job well done ♪ 253 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,208 ♪ In my town ♪ 254 00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:10,375 ♪ In his town ♪ 255 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,458 ♪ I'm number one ♪ 256 00:11:11,542 --> 00:11:12,750 Not in my book you ain't. 257 00:11:12,834 --> 00:11:14,125 Hey! 258 00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:16,333 ♪ I'm honest, I'm mayor ♪ 259 00:11:16,417 --> 00:11:18,166 ♪ I'm chief of police ♪ 260 00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:19,291 ♪ Oh ho ho ♪ 261 00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:20,333 Yeah. 262 00:11:20,417 --> 00:11:22,166 ♪ His town ♪ 263 00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:25,208 ♪ The hottest spot in all of Greece ♪ 264 00:11:25,291 --> 00:11:27,875 ♪ Has a home, what town? ♪ 265 00:11:27,959 --> 00:11:29,166 ♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪ 266 00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:30,834 ♪ The Parthenon ♪ 267 00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:32,709 ♪ The crowning jewel ♪ 268 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:35,667 ♪ Could use my flare for urban renewal ♪ 269 00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:36,834 What? 270 00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:38,125 I'm just kidding. I wouldn't change a thing. 271 00:11:38,208 --> 00:11:39,625 I'm serious... not! 272 00:11:39,709 --> 00:11:40,542 Hot! 273 00:11:40,625 --> 00:11:41,458 ♪ His town ♪ 274 00:11:41,542 --> 00:11:43,500 ♪ Yeah, in my town ♪ 275 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,375 Hey, you gotta love it, don't you? 276 00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:47,792 Keys are with the valet. 277 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,040 Thank you very much. Good night. 278 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,125 ♪ His town ♪ 279 00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:57,583 Ahh, eager young minds, 280 00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:59,959 the best and brightest hope for the future. 281 00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:02,667 Time to extinguish that hope. 282 00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:06,291 Hi, kids. Name's Hades. 283 00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:07,667 I'm your new principal. 284 00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:09,417 I'll be instituting a new educational paradigm 285 00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:10,500 based on the three R's. 286 00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:12,000 Revenge, requital, and retribution. 287 00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:12,959 You'll love it! 288 00:12:13,041 --> 00:12:16,041 And get this, there's no homework! 289 00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:17,083 [cheering] 290 00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:19,458 Because you don't get to go home. [chuckles] 291 00:12:19,542 --> 00:12:20,583 [all gasp] 292 00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:22,125 No way, Hades! 293 00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:23,291 [grunts] 294 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:25,542 Ha ha, way, Herc. 295 00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:27,542 OK, torment time. Come on, inspiration. 296 00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:28,625 Hit me, baby. Come on. 297 00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:29,917 Hey, this is high school. 298 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,583 Can Hades make it any worse? 299 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:33,959 [Pain] Our first victim... 300 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,709 Helen of Troy! 301 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:40,208 Um, I think I can speak for the whole student body when I say that... 302 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,917 Excuse me, Helen, right? 303 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,542 Helen, honey, you should cut down 304 00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:45,542 on the deep-fried feta puffs. 305 00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:46,792 Trust me on this. 306 00:12:46,875 --> 00:12:48,125 I don't eat any junk food. 307 00:12:48,208 --> 00:12:50,625 [chuckles] It wreaks havoc on my complexion. 308 00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:53,542 No! No! 309 00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:56,040 Not--not feta puffs! 310 00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,125 No! 311 00:12:59,208 --> 00:13:00,208 [screams] 312 00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:01,500 [mumbling] 313 00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:07,625 Poor, Helen. The face that launched a thousand zits. Ha. 314 00:13:07,709 --> 00:13:08,792 All right, who's next? 315 00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:13,166 [Pain] Adonis-- The peppered Prince of Thrace. 316 00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,750 [Pain] Adonis? Prince Adonis? You here, babe? 317 00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:16,917 Present. 318 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,208 Ready for your eternal torment? 319 00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,417 [laughs] I have a servant 320 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,208 to serve my eternal punishment for me. 321 00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:23,959 Oh, really, new wrinkle, babe. 322 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:28,041 So... you'll spend eternity serving him! 323 00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:31,625 Yes. And let's start with the foot massage. 324 00:13:31,709 --> 00:13:33,208 It's so relaxing. 325 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,583 Right in there between the toes. Come on! 326 00:13:35,875 --> 00:13:37,375 [screams] 327 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,709 [Pain] Casandra-- Home greconomics hater. 328 00:13:40,792 --> 00:13:43,917 ♪ Wash the floors and dishes clean ♪ 329 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,917 ♪ Pit the dates and do the laundry ♪ 330 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,959 ♪ Live a happy, snappy life ♪ 331 00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:53,165 ♪ Bein' a housewife ♪ 332 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,125 Oh, he's good. 333 00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:59,709 [Pain] Icarus-- Uh, he's weird. 334 00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:05,291 No! No! Anything but gym! 335 00:14:05,375 --> 00:14:07,333 I hate gym! 336 00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:08,458 Please! 337 00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:09,583 All right. 338 00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:11,750 How about an eternity spent 339 00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:13,333 punching out your best buddy? 340 00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,542 Nice, huh? 341 00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:16,667 Come and get me, sissy face. 342 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:17,709 [bell dings] 343 00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,542 Hyah, you want a piece of me? 344 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,667 Ooh! Ooh! You swine! Hyah! Hyah! 345 00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:24,458 Teach you to call my dad useless! 346 00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:26,208 Get up! Get up! 347 00:14:26,291 --> 00:14:28,375 All right, all right. Time-out. Time-out. 348 00:14:28,458 --> 00:14:31,125 This isn't supposed to be fun. 349 00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:32,792 Hey, this isn't fair. 350 00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:35,417 This isn't the real Hercules. Ooh! 351 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,290 Oh, no, we have a slightly different torment 352 00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:42,083 prepared for him. Hee hee. 353 00:14:42,165 --> 00:14:44,875 [Pain] And finally Hercules-- Klutz. 354 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,542 [Hercules] No, please, I can't do shop class. 355 00:14:48,625 --> 00:14:51,040 You can't do shop class? 356 00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:54,165 Well, guess what. I know that. Hee. 357 00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:55,750 Hey, don't fret, Herc, I got you paired 358 00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:58,500 with the best possible teacher. You'll love it. 359 00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:01,750 Very clever, Hades. 360 00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,333 Your punishment is him 361 00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:05,417 and his punishment is you. 362 00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,417 Mmm, sweet. Ha ha. 363 00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:08,667 Well, love to stay, but I've got 364 00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,166 the orphanage and nursing home to torment 365 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,792 and then I gotta do lunch. Ha ha. 366 00:15:12,875 --> 00:15:14,125 Ciao, baby. 367 00:15:14,208 --> 00:15:16,792 [crying] 368 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,041 I have an assignment for you. 369 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,542 I know, I know, something simple. 370 00:15:20,625 --> 00:15:22,542 Something even a klutz like me can handle. 371 00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:24,208 Let's review the lever again. 372 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,917 No. It is a very special assignment. 373 00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:30,709 You might say it is a breakout opportunity. 374 00:15:30,792 --> 00:15:31,667 Take your time. 375 00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:34,333 -Escape? -Yes! Save your school. 376 00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:36,000 Save all of Greece! 377 00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:39,750 And, hero, you will be graded. 378 00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:41,750 Yes, sir! But how? 379 00:15:41,834 --> 00:15:44,500 The school district favors a standard bell curve. I-- 380 00:15:44,583 --> 00:15:45,583 No. I mean how do I escape 381 00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,040 the forces of the underworld? 382 00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:50,500 I prepared this war-wagon 383 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:51,917 for just such an emergency. 384 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:52,917 Turn the crank. 385 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,250 Power the internal mainspring. 386 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:58,208 Smash our way out of this eternal detention! 387 00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,000 Wow! 388 00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:04,083 Teacher and student, we shall be liberated! 389 00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,917 97... 98... 99... 390 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,041 Man, how many times do you have to crank this thing? 391 00:16:08,125 --> 00:16:09,208 Three cranks will suffice. 392 00:16:09,291 --> 00:16:10,166 Uh-oh. 393 00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,542 Whoa! 394 00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,125 That's gonna affect your grade. 395 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:20,625 Whoa! 396 00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:21,750 Aah! 397 00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:25,625 Whoa! 398 00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:32,792 [horn blaring] 399 00:16:32,875 --> 00:16:34,542 [screams] 400 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,625 All right. 401 00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:40,917 Athena's temple. 402 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,834 She's wise. She can help us. 403 00:16:42,917 --> 00:16:45,083 You and me. Right now! 404 00:16:45,165 --> 00:16:47,000 Ya take back the stuff about dad 405 00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:49,875 or we're going mano-a-mano. 406 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,250 Uh, can we talk about this 407 00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:54,290 after we save Greece from eternal doom? Please. 408 00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:56,040 It's OK. I'll take a rain check. 409 00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:00,375 Oh, great goddess of wisdom, 410 00:17:00,458 --> 00:17:02,041 we summon your aid. 411 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,290 Uh, Herc? 412 00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:10,000 Actually, I was just about to summon your aid. 413 00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:17,375 [screams] 414 00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:20,625 [Athena] The magic chains are are courtesy of Hades. 415 00:17:20,709 --> 00:17:24,666 You see, Hercules, somebody made a foolish deal 416 00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:26,333 to seize control of Athens. 417 00:17:26,416 --> 00:17:28,083 Poseidopolis. 418 00:17:28,165 --> 00:17:31,667 And you trusted the bloomin' lord of the underworld! 419 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:34,583 But he's my bro-bro. We shook on it. 420 00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:38,000 Oh! You, Hercules. 421 00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:40,583 You must reroute the river. 422 00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,250 Me? How? 423 00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:43,333 Give him the trident. 424 00:17:43,417 --> 00:17:45,250 Trident? What trident? 425 00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,667 Oh, my trident! 426 00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:50,500 Oh, no! No! Never! He's just a tadpole! 427 00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:51,917 [Athena] It's either that 428 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,583 or stay chained next to me for all eternity. 429 00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:57,166 It's behind the tapestry. 430 00:17:59,417 --> 00:18:01,792 Oh, awesome. 431 00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:03,417 Come on, Icarus. 432 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,500 As long as we are captured, 433 00:18:05,583 --> 00:18:07,583 care to play 20 questions? 434 00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:10,792 Uh, I'm thinking of a vegetable. 435 00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:11,959 Rutabaga. 436 00:18:12,041 --> 00:18:13,709 I hate you. 437 00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:15,333 You realize if you didn't have to save the world, 438 00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:18,125 I'd be kicking your butt right now. 439 00:18:18,208 --> 00:18:19,500 Yeah, right. 440 00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:23,000 Goddess of the river Styx, 441 00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:24,667 I am Hercules. 442 00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:28,333 Uh, hi. 443 00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:31,792 By the powers of Poseidon, Lord of the waters, 444 00:18:31,917 --> 00:18:33,792 whose trident I'm--I'm borrowing. 445 00:18:33,917 --> 00:18:35,500 He said--he said it was OK. 446 00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:37,208 I command you to move. 447 00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:41,417 Strike the trident! 448 00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,000 Huh? Oh. 449 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,166 Whoa! Hey! Hey! What's the-- 450 00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:50,834 Hail! 451 00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:53,792 Ow! Ow! Come on! 452 00:18:54,417 --> 00:18:55,709 Steam? 453 00:18:55,792 --> 00:18:57,250 No, no, no, wait, wait, come back! 454 00:18:58,458 --> 00:18:59,917 Ice? Oh! 455 00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:03,917 Divert! 456 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,583 [Hades] OK, who wants trident? 457 00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:07,792 I do. I do. Ha ha. 458 00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:10,041 Didn't you read the fine print on this? 459 00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:13,375 For ages immortal and up. Ha ha. 460 00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:22,291 Look at this. Wash his troubles down the drain. 461 00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:23,458 [gasping] 462 00:19:23,542 --> 00:19:25,375 You're not gettin' away that easy. 463 00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:27,625 I have a rain check! 464 00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,959 [gasping] 465 00:19:30,041 --> 00:19:31,917 Of course, I can't actually swim. 466 00:19:32,041 --> 00:19:33,500 By the power of the trident, 467 00:19:33,834 --> 00:19:36,875 I declare myself lord of the waters, 468 00:19:36,959 --> 00:19:40,458 and hereby annex Poseidon's realm! 469 00:19:40,542 --> 00:19:43,125 I am having way too much fun. 470 00:19:43,208 --> 00:19:45,041 I gotta go gloat. Ha. 471 00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:47,125 Where's Poseidon? Po-Po? 472 00:19:50,291 --> 00:19:52,208 [gasping] 473 00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:53,792 You saved us! 474 00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:55,792 But--but now what? 475 00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:57,041 Without the trident, 476 00:19:57,125 --> 00:19:59,792 I'll have to move a mountain to divert that river. 477 00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,417 [grunting] 478 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,750 It's too heavy. 479 00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:07,041 I can't lift it. 480 00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:09,625 Puh-lease. The answer's so obvious. 481 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,542 What? What is it? 482 00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:12,792 No, I'm not telling you. 483 00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:14,291 Icarus, I'm sorry for what I said 484 00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:15,750 about your dad's inventions. 485 00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:17,834 I'm sorry for what I said about your dad's class. 486 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:18,750 Does that cover it? 487 00:20:18,834 --> 00:20:20,834 How sorry? Really, really, really sorry. 488 00:20:20,917 --> 00:20:21,917 Now what is it? 489 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,500 But you don't sound sorry. 490 00:20:23,583 --> 00:20:25,542 Oh, Icarus, come on! 491 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:29,875 It is sublimely simple. Say it with me. 492 00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:31,583 The lever! 493 00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,166 I have gone through much travail 494 00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:35,458 to see my student in action. 495 00:20:35,542 --> 00:20:37,417 My shop student. 496 00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:41,542 Hey, it's supposed to be a turtle torment. 497 00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:44,792 Yeah, you just can't walk out. 498 00:20:45,959 --> 00:20:48,417 [screams] 499 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:51,125 Proceed, shop student. 500 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:52,041 Yes, sir! 501 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,375 That's what I like to see. 502 00:20:53,458 --> 00:20:55,417 Fences mended. Bridges built. 503 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,458 And a lever crafted out of available materials. 504 00:20:57,542 --> 00:20:59,166 [Hercules] Can do! 505 00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,625 Ahh, the fulcrum. 506 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,917 [Daedalus] There you go, Buddy. Put 'er down. 507 00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:06,375 What now? 508 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:10,500 Oh, that's right, it's the lever. 509 00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:14,917 Oh, and the place to stand. There you go. Look at this kid! 510 00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:20,417 Sublimely simple. 511 00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:30,792 Oh, yes, that's right. 512 00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:33,208 Make those dishes shine! 513 00:21:33,291 --> 00:21:35,583 That's the way to get a man. 514 00:21:36,417 --> 00:21:38,125 Oh, dear! 515 00:21:38,208 --> 00:21:39,667 Thank you. 516 00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:41,667 Hey, Poseidon, you've just lost your domain, 517 00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:44,750 your trident, and hey, a battle of wits with your baby brother. 518 00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:46,792 So, what are you gonna do next, huh? 519 00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:49,583 Whoops. 520 00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:51,291 OK, a little snag in the, uh, 521 00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:54,083 take-over-the-big- brother's-domain plan. 522 00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:56,000 So, hey, easy come, easy go. 523 00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:57,041 Bada boom, bada bing. 524 00:21:57,125 --> 00:21:58,125 It's just business, right? 525 00:21:58,208 --> 00:21:59,458 No hard feelings. 526 00:21:59,542 --> 00:22:01,667 Uh, I mean, come on, 527 00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,750 blood's thicker than water, am I right, Po-Po? 528 00:22:03,834 --> 00:22:05,625 Babe, come on, huh, you'd know this, wouldn't you? 529 00:22:05,709 --> 00:22:07,083 Ooo! Ow! Po-Po! 530 00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:08,959 Watch the hair! Watch the hair! 531 00:22:10,709 --> 00:22:12,542 [narrator] Once again, Hercules saved 532 00:22:12,625 --> 00:22:14,834 the city-state of Athens 533 00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:17,542 and he passed shop class... 534 00:22:17,625 --> 00:22:18,625 Barely. 535 00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:23,041 [theme music playing] 36879

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