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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,166 --> 00:00:10,500 ♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪ 2 00:00:10,583 --> 00:00:11,917 ♪ Hercules ♪ 3 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,375 ♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪ 4 00:00:14,458 --> 00:00:16,291 ♪ Hercules ♪ 5 00:00:16,375 --> 00:00:17,375 ♪ Is he bold? ♪ 6 00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:18,375 ♪ No one braver ♪ 7 00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:19,709 ♪ Is he sweet? ♪ 8 00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:21,792 ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪ 9 00:00:21,875 --> 00:00:23,875 -♪ What a guy ♪ -♪ Hercules ♪ 10 00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:25,709 -♪ Ask his friends ♪ -♪ Hercules ♪ 11 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:26,709 ♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪ 12 00:00:26,792 --> 00:00:29,125 -♪ Hercules ♪ -♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪ 13 00:00:29,208 --> 00:00:30,458 ♪ Hercules ♪ 14 00:00:30,542 --> 00:00:31,917 ♪ Hercules ♪ 15 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,583 -♪ Come on ♪ -♪ No one's fool ♪ 16 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,125 ♪ Now the boy's in school ♪ 17 00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,583 ♪ He's in trainin' ♪ 18 00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:37,750 ♪ Sun is shinin' ♪ 19 00:00:37,834 --> 00:00:39,166 ♪ And the nicest guy ♪ 20 00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:40,667 ♪ No complainin' ♪ 21 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:41,709 ♪ He was a no one ♪ 22 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,542 ♪ Zero, zero, give him a quick deed ♪ 23 00:00:43,625 --> 00:00:44,750 ♪ He's our hero ♪ 24 00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:48,291 ♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪ 25 00:00:48,375 --> 00:00:49,333 ♪ From zero to hero ♪ 26 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,709 ♪ Herc is a hero ♪ 27 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:57,458 ♪ He'll be a hero ♪ 28 00:00:57,542 --> 00:00:59,250 Wait and see! 29 00:01:01,542 --> 00:01:04,500 [Bob reading] 30 00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:08,750 [Bob, narrating] Long ago in the age of heroes, 31 00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:11,417 there was a civilization of beauty, art, 32 00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:13,333 and scholarly fulfillment. 33 00:01:13,417 --> 00:01:15,375 Men called her Greece. 34 00:01:15,458 --> 00:01:18,083 She was the pinnacle of human achievement, 35 00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:20,875 Except for the land of Thessaly, 36 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:25,125 For the king who ruled there was a greedy, two-faced, 37 00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:29,291 triple-chinned, four-flushing tyrant named Salmoneus. 38 00:01:29,375 --> 00:01:30,250 [burps] 39 00:01:30,333 --> 00:01:33,083 King Salmoneus, as your advisor, may I offer some advice? 40 00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:34,917 Oh, do, Stephanopoulos. 41 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,208 Give it up, sir. 42 00:01:37,291 --> 00:01:39,375 You have run Thessaly into the ground. 43 00:01:39,458 --> 00:01:42,375 To wit, per capita income has dipped to zero, 44 00:01:42,458 --> 00:01:45,417 crop production is currently holding steady at zero, 45 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,959 and lastly, your approval rating is... 46 00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:49,917 is zero. 47 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:54,667 Stephanopoulos, as always, you underestimate your master. 48 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,166 I got a plan... 49 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,500 A plan I call... 50 00:01:59,583 --> 00:02:01,667 Divine intervention. 51 00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:03,208 [laughs evilly] 52 00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:08,333 Welcome to Thessaly, home of the first ever Zeus-a-Palooza. 53 00:02:08,417 --> 00:02:10,208 Zeus-a-palooza? 54 00:02:10,291 --> 00:02:12,625 This doesn't seem like Dad's style at all. 55 00:02:12,709 --> 00:02:15,458 This isn't anyone's style. 56 00:02:15,542 --> 00:02:17,542 Whoo-hoo! 57 00:02:17,625 --> 00:02:19,583 Bring on the big "Z," baby! 58 00:02:19,667 --> 00:02:21,917 I just can't believe that he didn't tell me about this. 59 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,000 I had to read it in the Greekly World News. 60 00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:28,875 In mere moments, the mighty Zeus himself will appear in person 61 00:02:28,959 --> 00:02:32,000 to greet the faithful and smite the wicked. 62 00:02:32,083 --> 00:02:35,792 I see the entire kingdom of Thessaly destroyed, 63 00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:37,959 demolished, wiped out. 64 00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:39,125 [slurps] 65 00:02:39,208 --> 00:02:40,750 Whoo-hoo! 66 00:02:40,834 --> 00:02:42,750 So I vote we leave now. 67 00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,417 [all chanting] Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! 68 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,583 Wait. Not now. It's my dad. 69 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,625 Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! 70 00:02:49,875 --> 00:02:52,583 And now, citizens of Thessaly, 71 00:02:52,667 --> 00:02:54,709 from the tiptop of Mt. Olympus, 72 00:02:54,792 --> 00:02:56,709 the master of disaster, 73 00:02:56,792 --> 00:02:59,125 the ayatollah of the lightning bolt-a, 74 00:02:59,208 --> 00:03:01,166 The one, the only... 75 00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:03,500 Zeus! 76 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,792 [cheers and applause] 77 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:15,709 Good mortals of Thessaly, it is I, Zeus. 78 00:03:15,792 --> 00:03:20,291 I can squash you with my pinkie, but I choose not to. 79 00:03:20,375 --> 00:03:22,208 Instead, I ask only this-- 80 00:03:22,291 --> 00:03:26,041 That you forever honor your great leader, 81 00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:29,375 King Salmoneus. 82 00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,834 [all] We shall, great Zeus. 83 00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:35,917 You must pledge to King Sal your blind obedience... 84 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,000 You got it. 85 00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:38,166 [thud] 86 00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:39,959 ...unquestioning servitude... 87 00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:41,291 Yes! 88 00:03:41,375 --> 00:03:43,291 ...undying loyalty... 89 00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:45,166 [Hercules] No! Stop! 90 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:49,166 Can't you see? That's not Zeus. 91 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,792 [laughs] I love Herc. 92 00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:53,875 You never know what he's gonna do. 93 00:03:53,959 --> 00:03:56,208 Uh, people of Thessaly, 94 00:03:56,291 --> 00:03:59,041 your mighty Zeus demands a show of faith. 95 00:03:59,125 --> 00:04:01,875 Dispose of this nonbeliever. 96 00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:02,875 [all] Yeah! 97 00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:06,208 Wait, wait, wait! Oh! 98 00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:10,583 We got him, Zeus. Now smite the nonbeliever. 99 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,625 Yeah, smite his butt off. 100 00:04:13,041 --> 00:04:13,959 OK. 101 00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:16,750 Yeah, mighty Zeus. 102 00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:18,417 Hit me with your best shot. 103 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:22,082 [thunder rumbling] 104 00:04:22,166 --> 00:04:24,041 [thunder crashes] 105 00:04:24,125 --> 00:04:25,792 [gasps] wow! 106 00:04:29,582 --> 00:04:31,457 Here we go. 107 00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:32,792 Wipeout. 108 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:40,000 What mortal dare call himself Zeus? 109 00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:42,834 Well, let's examine the evidence then. 110 00:04:42,917 --> 00:04:46,667 Exhibit alpha-- one license plate reading "Zeus I." 111 00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:50,834 Exhibit beta-- one lightning bolt, fake. 112 00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:52,500 Exhibit gamma... 113 00:04:53,082 --> 00:04:54,792 King Salmoneus! 114 00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:56,166 Trickery! 115 00:04:56,582 --> 00:05:00,458 Blasphemous infidel in the side pocket. 116 00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:01,959 Hermes, set him up. 117 00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:07,667 I hereby tender my resignation effective immediately. Goodbye. 118 00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:16,875 Oh, nice bank shot. 119 00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:17,959 You! 120 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:20,500 Move. 121 00:05:20,582 --> 00:05:22,166 [gasps] 122 00:05:22,417 --> 00:05:24,082 Ha! My boy! 123 00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:26,332 Hermes, look-- Hercules. 124 00:05:26,417 --> 00:05:30,166 By my name, it's great to see you, kiddo. 125 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:31,625 Hey, come on, Dad. 126 00:05:31,709 --> 00:05:33,500 All my friends are here. 127 00:05:33,582 --> 00:05:35,582 Would you autograph this? 128 00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,000 What's with him? 129 00:05:37,082 --> 00:05:38,166 Who? Icarus? 130 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,041 Flew too close to the sun. 131 00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:44,457 [Zeus] Oh, you're the kid Apollo told me about. 132 00:05:44,542 --> 00:05:47,207 What were you thinking, son? 133 00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:50,500 Hate to break up the love, but you have a thing, sir. 134 00:05:50,582 --> 00:05:52,082 You're going already? 135 00:05:52,166 --> 00:05:53,709 [Zeus] Sorry, son. 136 00:05:53,834 --> 00:05:56,082 Meetings, meetings. 137 00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:01,834 Did you hear what Zeus called him? 138 00:06:01,917 --> 00:06:02,875 Son! 139 00:06:02,959 --> 00:06:05,583 He's the son of Zeus! 140 00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:08,083 Zeus has delivered us from our corrupt leader, 141 00:06:08,166 --> 00:06:11,625 And now wants us to make his son our king. 142 00:06:11,709 --> 00:06:12,750 Huh? 143 00:06:12,834 --> 00:06:14,834 Long live king Hercules. 144 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:18,250 [all chanting] King Herc! 145 00:06:18,332 --> 00:06:20,082 Oh, this'll be good. 146 00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:24,834 [Bob, narrating] And so Hercules became the new king of Thessaly. 147 00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:30,166 As for the old king, the deposed and despised Salmoneus, 148 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:33,750 let's check in at the grove of despair. 149 00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:36,457 [moaning, crying] 150 00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:40,250 Years of blissful tyranny down the drain. 151 00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:43,500 [sobbing] I might as well be dead. 152 00:06:45,542 --> 00:06:48,750 Now that you're dead, you may feel disoriented, confused, 153 00:06:48,834 --> 00:06:50,750 and/or a general malaise. 154 00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:52,375 This is normal. 155 00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:54,457 Excuse me? Dead? 156 00:06:54,542 --> 00:06:56,792 Uh... I'm not dead. 157 00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,250 Oh, yeah. He's confused, all right. 158 00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:03,625 Well, we're gonna have to grease the doorway of the underworld 159 00:07:03,709 --> 00:07:05,500 to get this one in. 160 00:07:05,583 --> 00:07:07,500 I'm not dead. 161 00:07:07,583 --> 00:07:09,250 [grunting] 162 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,375 I think I slipped a discus. 163 00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:13,166 Sheesh! 164 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,291 It's like he's still alive. 165 00:07:15,375 --> 00:07:17,457 Ahhhh! Have a salad. 166 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,082 Not dead. 167 00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:21,417 Not dead. 168 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:24,166 [nervous laugh] Oh, no. 169 00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:27,082 I think we jumped the crossbow on this one. 170 00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:30,000 I'm not dead! 171 00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:34,250 I said, "I might as well be dead." 172 00:07:35,166 --> 00:07:38,082 We can't afford another mistake like this. 173 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:41,582 Last time we brought in a live one... 174 00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:42,750 [Hades] Alive? 175 00:07:42,834 --> 00:07:45,457 He's alive. This is the afterlife. 176 00:07:45,542 --> 00:07:47,291 Afterlife! 177 00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:49,000 I need dead! 178 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,875 And I just grew my hair back. 179 00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:59,457 [Salmoneus] Oh, you two work for Hades, eh? 180 00:07:59,542 --> 00:08:02,917 Well, I suppose I could keep this incident to myself, 181 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,166 providing everyone is willing to cooperate. 182 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:10,250 [clears throat] The grove of despair is for despairing. 183 00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:12,000 You're scheming, aren't you? 184 00:08:12,083 --> 00:08:13,583 -Oh, uh, forgive us. -Sorry. 185 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:14,583 [Panic] Apologies. 186 00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:16,917 Didn't mean to ruin your grove. 187 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,542 You run Thessaly's new king out of town, 188 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,917 and I'll forget I ever saw you. 189 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,750 Get me back my throne. 190 00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:26,875 Deal. Run out new king... 191 00:08:26,959 --> 00:08:28,166 Return throne. 192 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,542 Easy-peezy, guaranteezy. 193 00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:34,500 So, who is this soon-to-be ex-king anyway, hmm? 194 00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:39,250 Oh, he's Hercules, son of, uh, Zeus. 195 00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,125 I see. 196 00:08:46,875 --> 00:08:48,542 [sobbing] 197 00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:58,375 How the years fly by. 198 00:08:58,458 --> 00:09:01,041 Our baby boy is growing up. 199 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:04,041 I always said he was meant to be a king. 200 00:09:04,417 --> 00:09:05,542 Didn't I always say that? 201 00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:07,458 I always said that. 202 00:09:07,542 --> 00:09:09,709 Poseidon is sea green with envy. 203 00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:12,583 Well, we better get going, hon. 204 00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:16,375 Oh, yes-- the imprisoned Titans. 205 00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,583 Your father loves to gloat. 206 00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:21,709 And this'll really stick in their craw-- 207 00:09:21,792 --> 00:09:24,125 My son, a king. 208 00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:26,750 Ha! Stick it, Titans. 209 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,375 [thunder crashes] 210 00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:34,000 It doesn't feel right. 211 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,250 I don't think I was meant to be king. 212 00:09:36,917 --> 00:09:38,125 [sniffs] 213 00:09:38,208 --> 00:09:40,792 Hey, was your dad just here again? 214 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,959 Oh, we missed the big "Z"? 215 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,834 You can smell the gods? 216 00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:48,834 I can do many things. 217 00:09:48,917 --> 00:09:50,750 Yeah, Dad was here. 218 00:09:50,834 --> 00:09:54,834 I-- I've never seen my dad so... So proud before, 219 00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:56,542 And he's a pretty proud guy. 220 00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:58,542 Duh! Of course he's proud. 221 00:09:58,625 --> 00:10:00,208 You're king! 222 00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:02,792 But I-I don't even know what a king does. 223 00:10:03,625 --> 00:10:05,291 Oh, please! 224 00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:07,583 You just got to know the dos and don'ts. 225 00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:10,417 Example-- do pepper your conversations with 226 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,458 [deep voice] "we are not amused." 227 00:10:12,542 --> 00:10:14,000 [normal voice] Don't declare war 228 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:15,834 on any kingdom that can kick your butt. 229 00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:18,291 Thessaly declaring war? 230 00:10:18,375 --> 00:10:20,750 But we can kick your butt. 231 00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:24,959 Yeah, but our new boy king Hercules says 232 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:29,083 he's tired of smelling your stink from across his border. 233 00:10:29,166 --> 00:10:31,417 That's what Hercules said. 234 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,792 We are not amused! 235 00:10:36,709 --> 00:10:38,332 [laughs] 236 00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,458 Mission accomplished. 237 00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:42,250 You the imp. Yeah! 238 00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:45,040 [snickers] 239 00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:48,583 [horse neighs] 240 00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:02,667 [Cassandra] Now, this is the disaster I foretold. 241 00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:05,458 This Zeus-forsaken land is about to be wiped out. 242 00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:08,750 That's right. Thessaly-- wiped out. 243 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,083 You are so hot. 244 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:12,959 [purrs] 245 00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:19,458 [horse neighs, snorts] 246 00:11:19,792 --> 00:11:24,667 Prepare for humiliating defeat, king Hercules. 247 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,667 Smite him, son of Zeus. 248 00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,250 Son of Zeus? 249 00:11:32,834 --> 00:11:33,959 [cheering] 250 00:11:35,458 --> 00:11:36,375 [camera shutter clicks] 251 00:11:37,709 --> 00:11:39,792 [cheering] 252 00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:47,709 Sure, go ahead. Celebrate. 253 00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:49,083 Who cleans it up? 254 00:11:49,165 --> 00:11:52,125 Who always cleans it up? 255 00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:53,500 [gasps] 256 00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:55,542 You don't want to clean it up? 257 00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:58,917 So don't clean it up, boyo. 258 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,750 Are you familiar with the term "labor dispute," hmm? 259 00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,375 Garbage strike? 260 00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:10,083 [Bob, narrating] And so, in his second official act, 261 00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:12,417 King Hercules, uh... took out the trash. 262 00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:27,750 ♪ This trash is truly trouble ♪ 263 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,208 ♪ It's stinking up our streets ♪ 264 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,208 What? 265 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,333 ♪ There's sloppy glop inside my shop ♪ 266 00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:34,583 ♪ We've all got smelly feet ♪ 267 00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:36,792 [woman 1] ♪ But there's no need to worry ♪ 268 00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:39,165 [woman 2] ♪ King Herc is at the helm ♪ 269 00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:40,667 [both] ♪ The finest royal highness ♪ 270 00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:43,750 ♪ That has ever ruled our realm ♪ 271 00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,583 Whoo! That boy's so fine. 272 00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:48,165 ♪ He's the can do king ♪ 273 00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:50,750 ♪ There's nothin' he can't fix ♪ 274 00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:52,959 ♪ He's takin' care of business ♪ 275 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,917 ♪ And checkin' off his list ♪ 276 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,375 ♪ He's the can do king ♪ 277 00:12:57,458 --> 00:12:59,458 ♪ A leader with a plan ♪ 278 00:12:59,542 --> 00:13:03,709 ♪ To make this place Called Thessaly the best ♪ 279 00:13:03,792 --> 00:13:05,709 ♪ In all the land ♪ 280 00:13:05,792 --> 00:13:08,208 [woman] Oh, what that boy can do! 281 00:13:08,291 --> 00:13:11,041 ♪ My olive trees are thirsty ♪ 282 00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:13,458 ♪ Our crops are fallin' down ♪ 283 00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:17,667 ♪ A big, old, rolling boulder Is about to squish the town ♪ 284 00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:20,166 ♪ But that's no cause for panic ♪ 285 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,250 ♪ Just call the man in charge ♪ 286 00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,583 ♪ He'll right the wrong before too long ♪ 287 00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:26,750 ♪ We'll all be livin' large ♪ 288 00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:27,792 [woman] Oh, like butter, baby. 289 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,458 ♪ oh, yeah ♪ 290 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,375 ♪ He's the can do king ♪ 291 00:13:31,458 --> 00:13:33,375 ♪ There's nothin' he can't fix ♪ 292 00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:36,165 ♪ He's takin' care of business ♪ 293 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,250 ♪ And checkin' off his list ♪ 294 00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:40,208 ♪ He's the can do king ♪ 295 00:13:40,290 --> 00:13:43,000 ♪ A leader with a plan ♪ 296 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:45,333 ♪ To make this place called Thessaly ♪ 297 00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:49,000 ♪ The best in all the land ♪ 298 00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:50,709 ♪ He's a can do king ♪ 299 00:13:50,792 --> 00:13:52,250 ♪ Can do king ♪ 300 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,250 You do it, boy. 301 00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:56,667 Oh! 302 00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:04,750 Sire, should there be a four-way stop sign at this intersection? 303 00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:07,125 That's it? How should I know? 304 00:14:07,208 --> 00:14:08,709 Well, you are the king. 305 00:14:08,792 --> 00:14:11,917 I mean, you know, you must counsel all of our decisions. 306 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,125 Sure, whatever. 307 00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:15,709 Uh, four-way stop-- knock-knock yourselves out. 308 00:14:15,792 --> 00:14:17,291 [cheering] 309 00:14:17,375 --> 00:14:19,834 [groans] what can I help you with? 310 00:14:19,917 --> 00:14:21,250 It's my chickens. 311 00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,917 Do you think I need to pluck every feather off... 312 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,583 My mother-in-law or should I force her to move into... 313 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,208 A big pile of goat manure. 314 00:14:30,291 --> 00:14:33,125 So can I move upwind so I don't smell... 315 00:14:33,208 --> 00:14:34,792 My wife's Suvlaki? 316 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:36,709 [sighs deeply] 317 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,290 The brown sandals go with the khaki tunic. 318 00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:41,333 Khaki is neutral-- goes with everything. 319 00:14:41,417 --> 00:14:45,417 [man] Oh, a thousand thanks, king Hercules. 320 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:48,875 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! 321 00:14:49,375 --> 00:14:53,375 Ohhhhh, we are not amused. 322 00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:55,875 Attaboy, you got it! 323 00:14:55,959 --> 00:14:59,375 No, really. I am not amused anymore. 324 00:14:59,458 --> 00:15:02,834 I decree that we leave and never come back. 325 00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:04,291 Second the motion. All in favor say "aye." 326 00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:06,500 The ayes have it. Motion carries. 327 00:15:20,417 --> 00:15:21,959 Uh-oh. 328 00:15:24,542 --> 00:15:26,875 Father, Mother, hi. 329 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:29,291 Happy kingship, my boy. 330 00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:31,583 We stopped by with a few things. 331 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,000 So, like being top dog? 332 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:40,333 It's, uh, not what I expected. 333 00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:42,000 Never is, never is. 334 00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:43,500 Better, isn't it? Ha. 335 00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:46,208 Exciting, empowering. 336 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:51,208 Ha, "empowering" isn't the first word that... leaps to mind. 337 00:15:51,290 --> 00:15:54,500 All we hope is that you'll be happy, 338 00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:55,917 Be yourself. 339 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,875 [Zeus] And be the greatest king ever. 340 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,333 Thanks. I'll try. 341 00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:04,291 That's the stuff. 342 00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:08,000 [sighs] 343 00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:09,417 I'm staying. 344 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,041 [groans] 345 00:16:14,792 --> 00:16:18,333 Uh... he's staying? 346 00:16:18,417 --> 00:16:20,208 [muffled] Aah, can't breathe! 347 00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:22,417 He's what? 348 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:25,291 Whoa, there, sally. Chill out. 349 00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,834 [whispering indistinctly] 350 00:16:27,917 --> 00:16:32,125 We've got everything well in hand. 351 00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:36,000 [lion growls] 352 00:16:36,083 --> 00:16:39,208 [laughs evilly] 353 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,290 Yes! 354 00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:47,583 Looks like I'm stuck here. 355 00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:49,625 You have to do what's right for you. 356 00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:53,417 Crud! I swore I'd never say anything that corny. 357 00:16:53,542 --> 00:16:56,333 Yeah, well, I-I don't even know what's right for me. 358 00:16:56,417 --> 00:16:57,834 That's the problem. 359 00:16:57,959 --> 00:16:59,625 That's not the only problem. 360 00:16:59,709 --> 00:17:02,333 The floor's making crazy, nutso noises 361 00:17:02,417 --> 00:17:05,791 like a monster's stomping its way towards the city and-- 362 00:17:05,916 --> 00:17:07,709 [roars] 363 00:17:07,834 --> 00:17:11,040 It is I, the rightful king of Thessaly, 364 00:17:11,165 --> 00:17:13,750 Salmoneus! 365 00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:16,125 [Hercules] All right! 366 00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:18,208 Now, this I can handle. 367 00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:20,000 Finally. 368 00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:21,583 Here it comes. 369 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,709 Thessaly wiped out. 370 00:17:24,916 --> 00:17:26,875 [snarling] 371 00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:32,250 Huh! 372 00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:34,166 Whoa! 373 00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,000 [roars] 374 00:17:40,083 --> 00:17:42,417 Hey, I don't think that's a real lion. 375 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,583 [sarcastically] really? 376 00:17:44,417 --> 00:17:46,083 Come on, come on. 377 00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:47,458 Take a piece of me. 378 00:17:47,542 --> 00:17:50,417 [roars] 379 00:17:50,542 --> 00:17:52,917 [grunting] 380 00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:55,291 Pardon me. Coming through. 381 00:17:55,417 --> 00:17:56,917 Whoa! 382 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,166 I'm back! 383 00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:09,208 [laughs] 384 00:18:09,291 --> 00:18:12,375 King Sal is back! 385 00:18:13,542 --> 00:18:14,500 What? 386 00:18:14,583 --> 00:18:15,792 Pbht! 387 00:18:15,917 --> 00:18:18,500 [panting] 388 00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:23,208 Aaah! 389 00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:44,667 [breathing heavily] 390 00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:47,750 Go! Finish him off, already. 391 00:18:52,792 --> 00:18:54,709 [snarling] 392 00:18:57,417 --> 00:18:59,333 [grunting] 393 00:19:13,542 --> 00:19:15,166 Don't look at me! Don't look at me! 394 00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:17,458 [crying] 395 00:19:17,542 --> 00:19:19,417 Get him! 396 00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:27,083 [groaning] 397 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,750 You two are hopeless! 398 00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:32,083 A lot you know. 399 00:19:32,208 --> 00:19:34,959 Yeah, uh... we're more fearsome this way? 400 00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:38,959 [gulps] 401 00:19:39,041 --> 00:19:41,125 Mmm! Hercarific. 402 00:19:41,208 --> 00:19:43,834 [choking] 403 00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:44,917 Oopsie. 404 00:19:45,041 --> 00:19:46,750 Ha! 405 00:19:46,875 --> 00:19:48,125 Oh! 406 00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:54,625 You... you... 407 00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:57,542 [muttering indistinctly] 408 00:20:02,208 --> 00:20:03,250 [roars] 409 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:09,959 [knuckles crack] 410 00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:18,333 Whoa! 411 00:20:18,458 --> 00:20:19,792 Aaah! 412 00:20:20,792 --> 00:20:22,667 [crash!] 413 00:20:22,792 --> 00:20:25,458 [man] Ooh, that's gonna blister. 414 00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:42,417 Uh, you know, you could have foretold us that this was gonna happen. 415 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:45,166 Someone get this man a hemlock latte. 416 00:20:45,291 --> 00:20:46,583 What do we do now? 417 00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:47,834 Where do we go? 418 00:20:47,917 --> 00:20:49,875 And what do we wear when we get there? 419 00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:53,000 Aah! Leave me alone! 420 00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:54,500 I'm not a king! 421 00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:55,750 Uh, we've got no king. 422 00:20:55,875 --> 00:20:58,458 Who will decide what we do? 423 00:20:58,583 --> 00:21:00,125 That's what I'm trying to tell you. 424 00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:03,417 Why don't you just try to decide for yourselves? 425 00:21:04,208 --> 00:21:05,667 Hmm... 426 00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:07,750 Decide for ourselves. 427 00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:10,959 Yes, why, we can form a representative parliament 428 00:21:11,041 --> 00:21:14,000 in which decisions are effected by majority vote. 429 00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:18,041 Hey, kids, let's put on a democracy. 430 00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:19,542 [cheering and applause] 431 00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:25,375 Sorry. 432 00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:28,000 I know you're disappointed that I gave up my crown. 433 00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:31,208 You made a choice that was right for you. 434 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:34,792 We couldn't be any happier or prouder. 435 00:21:34,917 --> 00:21:38,291 Yeah, I never really liked the sound 436 00:21:38,375 --> 00:21:40,834 of "King Hercules" anyways. 437 00:21:40,959 --> 00:21:44,500 You know, there's an emperor position in Abyssinia. 438 00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:47,667 Aah! Stop looking at me, woman. 439 00:21:47,750 --> 00:21:50,458 [whinnies] 440 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,375 [Panic] A deal's a deal. [cackles] 441 00:21:54,458 --> 00:21:56,917 Here's your throne, Sal. 442 00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:59,834 [choking, coughing] 443 00:21:59,959 --> 00:22:02,208 All in all, that wasn't so hard. 444 00:22:02,291 --> 00:22:05,041 And Hades remained none the wiser. 445 00:22:05,542 --> 00:22:06,792 Hello. 446 00:22:06,875 --> 00:22:07,834 Uh-oh. 447 00:22:07,959 --> 00:22:10,333 Hey, guys, speak of the devil, huh? 448 00:22:10,417 --> 00:22:13,375 Come here, come here. Come here. 449 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:14,542 [crashing, banging] 450 00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,166 [Pain] Oh, my hair! 451 00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:22,875 [theme music playing] 30698

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