Original subtitles

Oh, Lord, I want to thank you

for this food we're about to have!

(announcer) Tonight, on "Martha & Snoop's Potluck Dinner Party."

(imitates gobbling)

(gobbling)

We're celebrating Thanksgiving.

This is bucket list ----.

Martha, you bought and cooked the turkey

and cut it for me.

Ice balls out of giant ice cubes, look.

So, do you keep these balls in your hand

or do you put these balls in your mouth?

(laughter)

You can try whatever you want.

(laughter)

♪♪

(cheers and applause)

Once you get these two together,

everything else is just gravy.

Please welcome Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg!

♪♪

(cheers and applause)

Welcome to

"Martha & Snoop's Potluck Dinner Party."

(cheers and applause)

Give it up for DJ Fredwreck.

(cheers and applause)

So, you know that Thanksgiving

is just one of my favorite holidays.

It must be like your Super Bowl, right?

Oh, definitely.

I take it very, very seriously,

and I tell people that if you don't like

the way I make my turkey,

don't let the door hit your ass

on the way out of Martha Stewart's house.

(laughter)

Come on, let's check out these birds over here.

I like the way they look. Look how cute they are.

You have to talk to them. Can you talk to them?

(imitating gobbling) (turkeys gobbling)

See?

(imitating gobbling) That's a gift.

That is a gift. (wolf whistle)

(gobbling) (laughing) Yeah.

(whistling) (laughing) (gobbling)

(gobbling) (whistling)

You should be a turkey caller.

Oh, my God. You're a natural.

I just want 'em to say, "Martha,

pour Snoop a cocktail." Is that what you said?

(gobbling) Since this is the holiday

where people drink a lot of cider,

I'm gonna make us a cider-bourbon cocktail.

Cider-bourbon. With my special ice balls.

Ice balls? Yeah, come here. I'll show you how.

How do you make ice balls? What are those?

Ice balls out of giant ice cubes. Look.

And you put it right here

and then you put that top right back on.

It just finds its way? And this is frozen cider.

Look, we're just trying to make

a round cider ice cube. All you do is-- well, look.

Look how yours has moved down.

Oh, so what it's doing is melting it down

and shaping it into balls and releasing the water

through the vaginal... Through the what?

(laughter)

Through the vaginal tunnel.

What do you mean, the vaginal tunnel?

Well, what is that at the bottom

that's opened up? That's just a moat.

I've never seen one before. Oh, well, that's a moat.

My imagination runs wild.

(laughter)

But in the meantime,

I can make something to drink. You can?

3/4 cup of apple cider, half a cup of bourbon or so,

and two thin slices of ginger, and some lemon juice.

The perfect ice ball.

Oh, my God. Here. Look.

Oh, Martha. This has little edges on it,

but that's still an ice ball. Look.

Let me see.

I've never held ice balls before.

(laughter)

Oh, and look. I have a cider ball.

So, do you keep these balls in your hand

or do you put these balls in your mouth?

(laughter)

You can try whatever you want.

(laughter)

Put it in there. Mmm!

Mmm! You're gonna like this drink.

Do you want a cider ball or an ice ball?

I want the cider ball. Give me the whole experience.

(laughter)

Mmm! What do you think?

That's strong, Martha.

Is that too strong for you?

It ain't too strong for me, but it's strong. Mmm!

I'm gonna have to rename it for you, though.

I think this one is called the Turkey Timer,

'cause in about five hours, you gonna pop up suddenly

and say, "Where am I?"

(laughter)

So, let's bring on some guests.

What do you think? Let's get it in, then.

Our first guest, she plays Santana Lopez on "Glee"

and has a new book out called, "Sorry Not Sorry:

Dreams, Mistakes, and Growing Up."

Please welcome actress and singer,

the beautiful Naya Rivera.

Naya!

(cheers and applause)

Hi! Hi, beautiful!

Thank you for having me. Nice to meet you.

Hey, the turkeys are starting.

The turkeys get me. She hot, huh?

(whistling) (gobbling)

(laughter)

And we have another guest too.

He's a four-time Grammy nominee

with three hit studio albums.

Please welcome 2 Chainz.

2Chainz! Ah!

♪♪

How are you doing? Wow.

I've got something for y'all.

I'm good. How you doing?

What up? Yo! What up, cuz? How you doing?

Put your eat game-- put your eat game out here.

How are you doing?

♪♪

This is for the house right here.

Thank you, brother.

I put a little herbs in there for you.

Okay, thank you. Martha, this is not for you.

We've got herbs in here. Do you know what that means?

We've got herbs in here. This is not for you, Martha.

Oh, that's not for me.

I'm a fan, Martha. You a trip. I'm on to ya.

I mean, my turkey is signed and everything.

Ah, excellent. Thank you.

Now, Martha, he's a foodologist.

Oh, he's a foodie.

I do know that you have a cookbook.

It was about 30-minute meals

that you can do on a tour bus.

This ain't no regular rapper.

He ain't fixin' to go to no In-N-Out,

Jack in the Box,

none of that. 2 Chainz.

Naya, what's in the bag that you brought?

Oh! I brought some turkey hats.

Oh, look at-- Damn, look at that!

Oh, my God.

Turkey hats. There's one for everyone.

Oh, look how cute! These are cute.

I got kids that'll love this. Yeah.

(laughter)

Okay, I'll play along with it.

I guess it look right, huh?

They do. They look cute. Look.

♪♪

Look. It look fly. I'm looking at myself right now.

I look kind of fly like this.

You know me. I break new styles

at the table all the time.

Yeah. Turkey hats. Yeah, trending.

Turkey hats.

So, I think we have to get cooking.

Let's get cooking.

So, I'm gonna be making

the perfect roast turkey with 2 Chainz,

and, Snoop, what are you making?

Well, I'll be making this Snoop Dogg special,

baked ham, but it's got, instead of glaze on it,

it's got blaze on it, you dig?

Oh, blaze, ah!

(cheers and applause)

Yeah. (gobbling)

Oh! Hey, I'm not even cooking a turkey.

I'm cooking ham, cuz.

(gobbling)

Look me in the eye and say that.

He's side-eying you right now. That's what I thought.

Don't be looking at me with that side-eye. Look!

So, when we come back, we're gonna see

just what this turkey looks like.

(cheers and applause)

♪♪

NBA legend Chris Bosh in the house!

(cheers and applause)

What up, boy? What's up?

Martha Stewart, are you left-handed? Uh-uh.

I'm eating European-style.

She got different levels of eatery

that you gotta understand.

(laughter)

♪ We're now cookin' with Martha and Snoop ♪

♪ We're now cookin' with Martha and Snoop ♪

♪ We're now cookin' with Martha and Snoop ♪ (cheers and applause) ♪♪

Welcome back to "Martha and Snoop's Potluck Dinner Party,"

and tonight, we're celebrating Thanksgiving.

(gobbling)

So, tell us all this stuff.

I'm doing Snoop's honey-blazed ham.

First, we gonna take out this young glaze, right?

This, right here, is honey.

If there were some bumblebees in here,

they'd be all over my hand right now.

(laughter)

And then I come back with the juice and the pineapple.

Pineapple juice. Yeah, we got the juice.

Okay. And then I come with a...

What's that? It's a fourth cup of milk.

Milk? See, 'cause milk

is gonna tenderize the meat. Any kind of milk?

Soy milk or almond milk or just any kind?

Whatever milk you like. There you go.

(laughter)

And then, this is that brown sugar.

You understand me? I love me some brown sugar.

Mmm! You gonna put all that in there?

Why not, not why?

You've got to make it sweet. Am I whisking or...?

Yes, but you gonna whisk and you gonna flick that wrist.

Well, okay. Look at the flick of the wrist!

Stir it, stir it, stir it!

(laughter)

The next step is to take this blaze, not glaze,

and just dipping. You see how I'm dipping that sauce?

But not all of it. Not all of it.

Just some of it. 'Cause then you save the rest for basting.

Exactly. Hello. Talk to me, baby. Okay.

And that goes in your oven?

And this goes in the oven at 420.

You leave it in there and you let it move around.

Can somebody help me open the oven? I will!

I'm your partner. I only got two hands.

(laughter)

Yeah, there you go.

Now, Snoop, how long are you gonna keep the ham in there?

I'm gonna keep it in there for about 45 minutes

to an hour, but we on TV, so we do

about two commercial breaks now. Okay, then.

So, I'm gonna be making the perfect roast turkey.

The first thing you have to do is rub softened butter

all over the turkey, the breasts...

That's a nice little rub you got.

Thighs... Oh, yeah, this feels really good.

Oh, wow. ♪♪

Get it on for the turkey. (laughing)

It feels good for Martha Stewart.

Yeah, get it, girl. Yeah.

You'll wish this just won't end. ♪ Oh, oh ♪

Lay back, Tom. Mama Martha's in control.

Yeah, Martha. (gobbling)

He want his butt rubbed too, huh?

(gobbling)

Oh, Martha, get under there and get it!

Get it, Martha!

♪ Turkey, turkey, turkey rubbin' ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ T-T-turkey, turkey, turkey rubbin' ♪

♪ We got the turkey, turkey ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪ (laughing)

My daughter's gonna kill me.

(laughing)

(cheers and applause)

Doesn't that look good?

I sort of lost myself for a little bit there.

I'll do that, but, excuse me.

So, now, 2 Chainz, I need your help.

We're gonna cover this beautiful bird

with a cheesecloth.

A cheesecloth?

And we need a whole bottle of white wine. Yeah.

What was already in there besides...

Oh, a pound of butter. A pound of butter.

That's my kind of night-- a pound of butter

and a bottle of wine.

(laughter)

So, you have to just soak this all in the butter and wine.

I need to know how to do this right here.

But the reason I'm doing this

is because you will get the most beautiful,

glistening, brown turkey when it comes out of the oven.

So, what is a t-shirt doing inside of this...

this pot full of liquid?

It's not a t-shirt. Are you gonna dress the turkey?

That's sort of like a hot, wet dress. Yes.

So, now, just drape this cloth all over the bird.

You dressing him up for real.

Smell, smell, smell. I smell that.

What that smell like? That's the white wine and butter. Yeah.

Wait a minute. Hold on, Martha.

That smell good before you even put fire to it.

I know. Well, that's the idea.

And then the whole house smells good afterwards. Yeah.

So, this goes into the oven. (doorbell rings)

(gasps) I wonder who that could be.

Did you pay the rent this month?

(laughter)

Did you invite somebody, Snoop?

I invited my brother from another mother, NBA legend

Chris Bosh in the house!

Oh, wow! What up, boy?

What's up? All right.

I brought you a present.

Oh, come on, I need that. Yeah.

Man, it's good to see you, bro.

Oh. That's homemade beer. Homemade beer.

Good to see you, bro. Good to see you.

Before we even get started, can I...?

Yes. I'm gonna go over here.

You want to look?

What's going on over there? I don't know. I mean...

(celestial music)

(music stops)

That was glorious.

(rap music playing)

(cheers and applause)

(music stops)

(laughter)

(rap music playing)

(cheers and applause)

(music stops)

Yeah, man, play. We're gonna play.

(cheers and applause)

I actually met you on vacation in Italy.

That's right. Yeah.

My son. Yeah, my son. Yes, your son was there,

and your wife. He had an accident in the pool that day.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, he did?

He pooped in the pool?

Uh, yeah, some people would say that he pooped in the pool.

He really cleared out this pool.

As he should. Good looking out, man.

It was amazing, and now that I'm a mom

of a son, I totally understand how that could happen.

They cleared the pool out. Nobody was injured.

And then we all went back to eating

and having a good time. Yeah, yeah.

We had a good lunch. Washed our hands.

(laughter)

Then we got back in the pool.

(laughter)

Look, they're listening to you.

They're listening to you. Yeah.

Come on, let's go hide the potatoes real quick.

(whistling) Hey, baby.

Now, I want to know what their names are.

Roast turkey and fried turkey. Okay.

Oh, wow. You see how his nose dropped

when you said that, Martha?

(laughter) (whistling)

Stay tuned, because when we come back,

we're having a Thanksgiving feast to remember.

Just wait 'til you see it.

(cheers and applause)

Now they're dancing.

Oh, look, he's dancing.

(laughter)

(cheers and applause)

"Your sister's boyfriend puts his hand on your leg."

Oh! Oh!

You know what I would do? What would you do?

I'd pick up my fork

and jam it into his...

Oh, Martha!

♪ We're now cookin' with Martha and Snoop ♪

♪ We're now cookin' with Martha and Snoop ♪

Welcome back, and happy Thanksgiving.

This is "Martha and Snoop's Potluck Dinner Party,"

and it is time to eat.

Yes, it is time to eat. Yes, it is.

(cheers and applause)

And because it's Thanksgiving,

I think I'm gonna lead the prayer.

Everybody grab hands and bow your heads.

Thanksgiving is a time we all gather together

to eat a big bird that once had a whole lot of feathers.

(laughter)

Cranberries, stuffing, and the hot pumpkin pie,

with football featuring the Detroit Lions--

I have no idea why. (laughter)

Amen. (all) Amen.

(cheers and applause)

Oh, wow.

(cheers and applause)

I like white meat, Miss Martha.

I don't know how to cut it, though.

Here. Oh, you don't know how?

No, ma'am. Just cut it down like this.

You gotta hold the back end while you're cutting it, though.

Hold them feet.

You got-- This is bucket list ----.

You bought the... What?

Martha, you bought and cooked the turkey

and cut it for me.

Well, here, take a fork and just... What you need?

Catch that, catch that with a fork.

I'm gonna take a picture of it

'cause that's so special right there.

Can you cut me a slice, too, please?

That's looking all right.

Hey, listen, fam. Yeah.

It's a blessing to eat Martha Stewart's potatoes.

See, usually, when I eat Thanksgiving,

it don't be all pretty like this,

so we can just get down. You got pretty food.

You want the head?

Yeah, give me that head. (laughter)

Ain't nothing wrong with some good, hot head.

Give me some of that head.

(audience whooing)

Whoo!

Anybody else want some of this ham?

I want a piece.

I have to taste your ham.

And your blaze. All right. Here we go.

Really, really good. Do you like?

This turkey is off the hook.

It's tender and the stuffing was good too.

And, yeah, see? It is delicious.

Your ham is so good. Thank you, Martha.

See, that blaze sauce. It's not that glaze sauce.

It's that blaze sauce with that secret ingredient.

Martha Stewart, are you left-handed? Uh-uh.

I'm eating European-style.

Yeah, that's called European style, what she eating, Chris.

Oh, okay.

She got different levels of eatery

that you gotta understand. Look how she did that.

See that? She actually flipped it backwards. Oh, hold up.

Notice how I ain't used one utensil,

so I'm eating... (laughter)

This would be considered East Side Long Beach style.

(laughter)

So, what she does is, she cuts the potato.

She cuts the potato, then slice.

Well, you try to push it on your fork.

He's gonna go home and his wife is gonna wonder,

where the heck have you been?

Yeah, yeah, but, see, where we from,

you use the bread.

You take the bread and you...

(laughter)

This ---- is good. I'm sorry.

(laughter)

Sometimes on Thanksgiving, a family member will say

or do something inappropriate.

Has that ever happened to you?

All the time. Okay. Every time.

And, so, what have you guys done

in that situation?

Do you speak up and ruffle feathers?

This turkey is full of feathers

with inappropriate behavior by relatives on Thanksgiving.

You could be the first to pluck.

In the front here are the feathers. Yeah, pluck, pluck.

This one's calling. Okay. Read it.

Pull him out. Pull it out.

Pull him out and read it. Okay.

This one calling. Now, this one says,

"Your mom's wig..." Pfft!

(laughter)

"Your mom's wig begins sliding off

while she's saying Thanksgiving grace."

(laughter)

Oh, Lord, I want to thank you

for this food we're about to have!

Your wig's falling off!

(laughter)

Okay, Snoop, you choose one.

I'm gonna try this green one over here.

"Your mom tells the whole family

that you recently got dumped by your other."

(gasping)

Ooh! Mom!

That's your mama. I'm not ruffling my mama feathers.

I'm not doing none of that. I'm gonna let it go.

Mama is always right. Amen.

Which color would you like? Give her something pretty.

You can pick for me. Yeah, that's pretty.

Uh, here. Thank you. Okay.

"Your sister's boyfriend puts his hand on your leg."

Oh! Oh!

My hands is up here, so...

(laughter)

Look, my family, he fixin' to get slapped.

(laughing)

You know what I would do? What would you do?

I'd pick up my fork

and jam it into his...

Oh, Martha!

(cheers and applause)

And then nobody's got their hand

on anything anymore. That's right.

"You walked in on your son or daughter

making out with their GF or BF in their bedroom."

For my kids, I'm gonna let 'em go and get finished.

(laughter)

I'm not gonna stop the groove.

When he finish the groove, then I'm gonna holla at him,

"Cuz, you got to understand,

"there's so many people in the house,

"you gotta take that somewhere else.

"Man, don't do that next time,

but good luck, and that was fly, cuz."

(laughter)

I love it. I'm gonna add to that one, though.

What if it was...

My daughter? Yeah, your girl.

Oh, he gettin' whooped.

(laughter)

He gettin' whooped, Chris.

You know he gettin' whooped.

After the break, we'll eat, drink, and be merry.

Mmm! That's Martha's secret way of telling me

that me and 2 Chainz got time

to go sneak off and hit a bleezy.

Stick around because when we come back,

we've got another special guest.

We'll be right back.

(cheers and applause)

♪ We're now cookin' with Martha and Snoop ♪

♪ We're now cookin' with Martha and Snoop ♪

♪ We're now cookin' with Martha and Snoop ♪ ♪ We cookin' with... ♪

♪ Ai ♪

♪♪

Yeah, what's up? Welcome back.

We want to thank our guest 2 Chainz...

(cheers and applause)

the lovely Naya Rivera...

(cheers and applause)

and my brother from another mother, Chris Bosh.

(cheers and applause)

And one last thing we forgot to do

is break that wishbone.

Break the wishbone? Yeah.

I want to break the wishbone. Let's go.

Why are you holding that side?

What's the difference between the sides?

Well, I just... I want to hold that side.

Why? Because I don't trust you.

(laughing) I'm learning on this show not to trust Snoop.

So, we're gonna pull? We're gonna pull.

Make a wish. Let's make a wish?

What's your wish? That we come back with season two and three.

(cheers and applause)

Whoa! And my wish is that we come back

for seasons two, three, and four.

(cheers and applause)

Okay, pull.

(cheers and applause)

Yeah!

(laughter)

Your dreams will come true.

Hey, I got it. I got it. So... You got that.

And now, performing her song, "Comfortable,"

and continuing on VH1.com,

give it up for the homegirl, it's Dreezy.

♪♪

Oh, I love this record right here.

♪♪

♪ I just want to take away the pressure ♪

♪ I knew you were special when I met you ♪

♪ Hate the way you battle your confessions ♪

♪ I wait for you, I gotta know ♪

♪ I gotta know ♪

♪♪

♪ For you ♪ ♪ For you ♪

♪ For you ♪

Hey! Hey! ♪♪

Give it up one more time for Dreezy!

♪ You ain't gotta question when you're with me ♪

Just trying to make you feel comfortable.

You know what I'm talking about?

♪ Whenever you want me, you'll be with me ♪

♪ I'll be there in a minute, boy ♪

♪ I'm trying to get close to you ♪♪

Next time on the "Martha & Snoop's Potluck Dinner Party"...

I'm not high right now, but whoever gave us this show,

they must have been.

Time for a breakfast dinner party.

They don't want us to have breakfast!

Special guest and our DJ challenge.

Hey, we're cooking here. Just cover up.

She said, "Just cover up."

(laughter)