Original subtitles

[eerie ambience]

[ominous music ♪]

[eerie ambience]

[crickets chirping]

[Young Woman shrieks]

What the fuck?!

[grunting]

[whimpers, sobs]

[chilling ambience building]

[gasping]

[crying softly]

[creaking footsteps]

[tense music ♪]

[Man, quietly] Rachel...

Fu...

Oh, fuck...

[breathing deeply]

[screaming]

Die, motherfucker! Die!

[Man sputtering]

[ominous ambience]

[spooky music ♪]

♪

[splattering]

[footsteps approach]

[music fades out]

You have to be brave. Okay?

I am being brave.

I know you are.

Your mom would be so proud of you.

I wanna go see.

What?

I wanna go see him.

I don't know if that's...

I need to go see him.

[quiet, dramatic music ♪]

♪

[Man] Jesus Christ.

[Woman] Heh. Yep.

Pretty much sums it up.

[Man] I'll tell you this much.

I've always considered myself to be a pragmatic man...

But this?

[Woman] You think she's jinxed?

[Man] I don't know. What do you think? I...

I mean, going through what she's gone through...

twice...

I just..

What does that do to a person?

♪

Spring-fucking-break, pussies!

[all cheering]

[chatter]

[electronic dance music ♪]

- Hey, how you doin'? - How you doin'?

Oh, do you want... - Yeah, I do, actually.

That's nice. That's good. I rolled it!

Jacob, by the way. Hey.

Hey.

One... two... three!

Aah!

[sexy hip hop music ♪]

Hey, Bonnie!

Hi, Donnie. Oh!

You look fan-fucking-tastic tonight!

You are so sweet.

And thanks so much for throwing this party.

No, you know what would be really sweet?

[Bonnie] Tell me.

I want to lose my straight-fucking-v card

to you tonight!

Like right now!

Okay, so I don't think we should do that tonight.

No, no, like, let's do it right now.

Okay, I think you're a little drunk, babe,

and also gay.

I'm ready for this...

right...

Okay...

[alternative rock song playing ♪]

[Drunk Guy] Oh, my God, Bonnie, you smell so good!

What the fuck?

What's with him?

Tell me you finally dumped him.

I don't even know. Sam is wasted.

[Young Man] I anticipated you wanted this.

Yeah, but not with this much ice.

Bye.

God, he probably rufied this shit, anyway.

Any who, you should seriously dump him.

Do you want me to do this for you?

I don't know... Maybe.

- Okay. - No, no.

Okay, listen, Rachel.

The second you let men have control,

Your relationship is over.

You just need to stick up for yourself

and you'll be fine.

Let's go shopping tomorrow.

Hi, I'm broke.

Hello, I'm not.

[2nd Young Man] Bonnie!

[both gasp]

Are you fucking serious?!

Oh, my God. Lisa, I am so sorry.

Here. Let me get that for you. - Yeah, okay. It's fine.

Bonnie...

So good to see you.

I'm gonna miss times like these when we graduate.

Oh, my God. I know.

I can't believe we're about to graduate.

It's, like, almost time for Botox.

I know.

Those bags of yours, they're really starting to set in.

Go to hell, Lisa.

Only two more months 'til graduation!

Who else is excited? - Oh, my God. Don't remind me.

My dad's been pestering me to find a job.

Financial independence. Shit like that.

Mine too, but then I reminded him

about the time I caught him face-fucking my babysitter,

so, yep, no work for me.

Yay...

But seriously, girls,

this is our last spring break together.

We should definitely do something fun,

Like maybe a girls' spa day or something.

Or we could go to Maui.

We could stay at the Four Seasons.

Hmm, Cancun?

Cabo's nicer.

More like Ca-boring.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Why don't we talk to the guys?

I'm sure that they'll have some good ideas

Which might not put me into debt.

Okay, Rachel, come on. The guys?

Seriously? Is she still having separation anxiety

from that thing that she follows everywhere?

Sure, he can be a jerk,

but he has his moments.

- [laughs] Right. - [Bonnie] Okay, Rachel.

Well, anyway, since you spilled most of my drink,

I need a refill.

I guess I'll come. Come on, let's go.

[plastic cup clatters]

Can somebody clean this?

[indistinct chatter]

Rachel who? It's spring break, brohemians.

Can't fucking wait.

So are you and Rachel Who doing something special

for spring break?

I dunno... Maybe anal?

[scoffs] Gross, dude.

Dude, that's fucked up.

You guys still haven't done anal?

That's Jesus' favorite hole, by the way.

She's fuckin' weird about that shit.

You know what you should do?

You should just, just, just slip it in gently, you know,

While you guys are fucking normally.

She'll never be able to tell. I swear.

Even if that made sense, it's a moot point,

'cause Sam doesn't fuck her, at all.

Fuck you! I do just fine.

What's that supposed to mean?

[laughing]

Like jacking off.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah. - Oh.

You guys want some?

[chatter]

[subtle party music ♪]

[Drunk Guy] Oh, my God, Bonnie,

I wanna be transgendered and look like you!

Spring-fucking-break!

Hell, yeah, it is!

[2nd Drunk Guy] Bonnie, I wanna date you sexually!

- Bonnie! - Dah, Bonnie!

You know you would not say a word to that girl

If you weren't drunk!

[2nd Drunk Guy] But I am, and I did,

and I'm probably gonna do it again

after I get blackout drunk! Wooh!

You're not gonna say a thing.

You have the smallest balls in the world!

Hey, look at that guy! [shouts indistinctly]

That is inaccurate! It is inaccurate!

As small as those are, your balls are smaller than that!

No!

Hi, guys.

[Jacob] Hey, Bonnie.

So, you guys got in without me, huh?

[Jacob] You can sit-you can sit next to me, Bonnie.

[laughs]

Nice, nice.

[chatter]

- Rufies and tonic? - Yes, please.

[chatter]

Getting in, Rach? - I'm waiting for Sam.

[Bonnie] Ugh, lame.

What are you doing here?

You know, I'm just here alone.

Alone?

Okay. You didn't come with anyone?

Pig.

Rachel, keep your eye on him. He's literally disgusting.

He's not that bad. He's a flirt.

I can be a flirt, too.

- Who's a flirt? - [Jacob] You, bad boy.

[Rachel] You are, babe.

[all laugh]

Do you have any mints?

Yeah.

Thanks.

[Bonnie] Is that a joke?

What?!

[all chuckle]

[chatter]

[water splashes]

Dude. Motherfucker, dude.

[Jacob] What? Oh, the hair.

[Bonnie] Okay, Sam.

If you can stop obsessing over your hair

for a sec, I wanna talk to you guys

about going somewhere for spring break.

I'm in, as long as it's on the cheap.

My parents aren't in overwhelming generosity mode

after hearing about my grades Last semester.

It must suck to be poor and stupid, doesn't it?

[Jacob] I got it!

Two words. The... woods.

[eerie noises]

That's barely tho words.

However many words, it's a shitty idea.

Camping sucks. - [Sam] Yes, it does.

It's not camping.

It's paradise, But in the woods.

Wow, you've officially graduated

from pot to crack.

No, I'm being serious! Just picture it, right?

It's s secluded cabin,

way far in the woods.

Nearest neighbor is like a mile away.

Best part about it,

it's got no working smoke alarms!

- What? - Doesn't sound very fun.

So, relaxing in Hawaii,

or a creepy old cabin in Bumblefuck?

It's not creepy, though!

My uncle just refurbished it right before he died.

God rest his soul.

Glorified camping equals glorified suck.

Bevan, it's not camping, man!

Camping wishes it was this.

[all chuckling]

Does it have Wi-fi at least?

Nope. And, full disclosure,

It has no cellphone service, either.

But it has electricity! It has electricity!

Meet me half way! Meet me half way!

You okay, Rach?

You do not have to go if you don't want to.

Aw, Wachel's scawed.

Cweepy cabin in the woods, all by ouwselves!

It's not creepy! I keep tellin' you!

It's not creepy! And if...

If anything creepy does happen...

I got you.

[all laughing]

I'm serious, man!

I must have water in my ears,

because I did not just hear that.

Well, I've gotta get going to study for my history test.

Only two more weeks.

[Sam, sighing] Wow.

[Rachel] See you guys later.

- Bye. - Bye, Rach.

- Damn, killing the vibe. - See you, Rach.

Bye, Rachel.

Just to be clear. Is she in?

Yes, she's in.

She just has some shit she needs to deal with.

[Jacob] Bonnie, you can't just say that...

[Lisa] Bonnie, why don't you tell us?

I'd really like to know.

[Jacob] Go on.

[subtle, mysterious music ♪]

Okay, well, I really shouldn't be saying anything right now,

but she told me, a few years back,

some crazy guy killed a bunch of her friends,

and she's the only one who survived.

- [Jacob] What?! - I haven't been able

to get her to say anything about it since.

[Lisa] Wow. That's totally fucked up.

Are you serious?

Swear to God.

My God.

I mean, like, we've known Rachel for years,

but none of us knew any of this.

Maybe the cabin... is not such a good idea.

[Sam] No, no, no. I'll talk to her.

Okay, no. I will talk to her drunk ass.

[school bell rings]

[Professor] Since the dawn of time,

for better or for worse,

usually for worse,

history is characterized by a tendency to repeat itself.

Civilizations causing their own demise,

genocide, violence.

All are catastrophic effects of this global phenomenon.

[pretending to choke]

[ominous ambience]

[pretending to choke]

[faked choking, laughter]

[screams]

[Rachel sobbing]

[chilling music ♪]

[sobbing]

[chilling ambience]

Rachel.

Rachel, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Come here.

Come here, come here, come here, come here.

[sobbing]

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

It's okay.

I'm here.

Shh.

[subtle, mysterious music ♪]

You okay?

Aside from the ultra-meltdown I just had...

Yeah, totally. I'm good.

It's happening again, isn't it?

I just... I had a bad moment in class.

I feel much better.

Just need to take a deep breath, or possibly two.

Is this about the trip you're going on?

Spring blowout in the woods?

Who told you?

I have my sources.

Bonnie's been blasting it all over social media,

hasn't she? - Mm-hmm.

I need to conquer my fear.

I think that this will be a good first step.

Are you sure?

It's been three years...

I'm 99 percent sure.

What about the ultra-meltdown?

That was more of a mini ultra-meltdown.

Oh.

Tell you what...

At the risk of running a serious social faux pas

by inviting myself...

♪

Are you saying you want to escort me on my trip

in case I have a spring breakdown?

Well that...

and to get piss drunk in the woods.

[giggles]

[upbeat, poppy music ♪]

So, who's ready for spring break?!

[all cheering]

Let's do it!

Someone's in better spirits.

Smells like you've been into some spirits.

I'll be driving.

Okay!

I really hope Rachel is okay.

It'd suck so hard

if she had, like, PTSD, or something like that.

Right?

Mm-hmm.

[Bonnie] Do you think we can get, like, a Wi-fi hotspot

for my phone?

[Rachel] Hey, girl.

[overlapping chatter]

[Bevan] Hey, Jacob, have you got those bags?

[Jacob] I got 'em.

[grunting]

All right. We're good to go, huh?

[overlapping chatter] - Are we there yet? - We are not there.

- Don't touch her! - Bye!

- I've got the pot buzz. - Don't touch her!

- I got my bong... - Stop talking, Sam.

I got my vaporizer... I got edibles...

You guys bring any pot? - Spring break, bitches!

- Spring break, bitches... - Stop talking, Sam!

♪

[song stops]

[Woman] We know this isn't easy Rachel, but right now

you're the only one who could help us put the pieces together.

[Man] Rachel, we need to establish a timeline for that night.

We need to know everything that happened,

when it happened, and how it happened,

once you and your friends went on your trip.

Nowhere.

[Woman] I beg your pardon?

We drove into the middle of nowhere,

and that's where it all started.

[vehicle approaching]

[feisty folk rock music ♪]

[Lisa] Oh my God, I can't believe you just closed the door on me!

Jerk!

Ew!

Maybe we should just keep driving.

Shut up.

♪

Hey.

Hi, ladies.

Whoa.

Seriously? You too?

Perverts!

Wow. That's impressive work.

You should see what I can do with a dollar.

Oops.

Drop a 20, and things could get really interesting.

[murmuring indistinctly]

Here we go.

For you.

♪

♪

[boom]

[music fades]

[Lisa] It's party time!

[indistinct murmuring]

[slurring] I know, seriously.

Here we go.

Ugh! I'm really hungry!

You think they have Sno Balls there?

Are you guys already high?

What?! Are you serious?

On their shit?!

My 13-year-old brother has higher quality herb.

You know, what? Your mouth says my weed sucks,

but your eyes, they're saying something different.

What do they say?

Oh!

You guys are paying, right?

This place gives me the creeps.

I gotta piss like a race horse.

Don't worry about me, Sam. I'll be fine.

What a dickhead.

Have I mentioned lately that you need to dump him?

Seldom do I say this, but... Bonnie's right.

[ambient music ♪]

[door creaks]

Ew. This place has, like, nothing.

[clears throat]

[clears throat]

Hey, hillbilly man...

You take credit card. Right?

You folks gotta be a long way from home,

thinking I would take a credit card in this place.

Well, do you take cash?

Guys, whatever you'd like, it's on me.

Yay.

Hey, it's like it's your birthday.

Hey excuse me, sir.

So, we're heading out to my late uncle's place.

It's at the end of Linden street,

like, in the thick of the woods out there.

You got any short cuts

or anything that'll get us out there quicker?

I lost three good dogs there.

I never even went back to look for 'em.

[Sam sighs]

Well, I feel, like, eight pounds lighter.

All right, well, this should cover everything,

and you can keep the change...

'cause, uh,

I don't wanna touch anything that's touched your hands.

You folks ought to take heed.

I wouldn't go there if I were you.

Young, pretty people like yourselves.

Yeah, muchos gracias for the directions, bro.

[subtle, eerie music ♪]

[Bonnie] Ew.

[scoffs]

Goddamn dumb chick forgot her credit card.

[chuckles]

[Sam snores]

Look at him back there. How the hell do you deal with that?

You don't know him like I do.

He's actually a really sweet guy behind closed doors.

Okay well, if you're not gonna dump him,

then maybe you should turn the tables on him.

Shut him out completely,

and use him for the one thing he might actually be good for.

Lifting things up and putting them down?

I assume you're talking about sex...

Who said anything about sex?

[laughing]

Gross. I need to get outta here.

You and me both.

Uh, I'm occupied, obviously.

I could shotgun it into your mouth if you want.

You do that and I'll put you in a chokehold.

I know jiu-jitsu, bitch.

Okay.

[ominous music ♪]

[birds chirping]

[Toby] Wooh!

Look at this place!

[indistinct chatter]

Come on babe, let's check out the bedrooms.

Uh, why don't we let the guys get our luggage,

so we can freshen up?

[Lisa] That sounds like a great idea, Bonnie.

Your pores could certainly use a once-over!

Heh.

Wait. How do we get in?

[keys jingle]

What do you think the chances are of Bonnie fucking me?

Normally, I'd say no,

But you did somehow get that chick at the motel to fuck you.

You act like you're surprised.

If anything's surprising,

it's that you got laid at that motel.

Why is that surprising?

I'm just saying, I've never seen you with a chick before.

Honestly, I was beginning to think hat you were gay.

What are you guys talking about?

I've been with tons of chicks!

Your four fingers and your thumb don't count as a chicks.

Sorry, Bev.

I'm the one in the group that gets the chicks!

This is fucking bullshit!

Self-proclaimed.

Naw, he's definitely gay.

I fucked your mom.

No, you didn't.

Wait, no, you didn't!

[muffled music playing ♪]

[Jacob] Ooh, wait for me.

I think a nice buzz could even out my high pretty good.

All right, ladies, the name of the game is chugging.

Are. You in?

- Yes. - Yes.

Okay, one, two, three!

[coughing]

Ooh, wow.

All this bromance in the air

really makes me wish I was a lesbian.

[Jacob] Lookin' good, girls!

Damn, never mind. I was way too stoned for that game...

[laughter]

But I'm not too stoned for some lovin'.

Hey, you wanna make out?

Okay. What are you thinking? Here or the bedroom?

Wait. For real? Oh, shit.

Okay. Here.

Here. Okay.

In your stoneriffic dreams!

I was close. I was close. I was close. I was close!

That was never gonna happen.

[all chuckle]

This is.

[Sam] Rachel! Really?!

Seriously? - [Bonnie] Come on, Rachel.

Come on, babe. That'd be so hot.

Come on, Rach, stop being such a fucking square!

- [Sam] Good one, Bev. - This is not happening.

That might not be happening, but... this is.

- [Jacob] Oh, shit. - [Sam] Hey, can I join?

[Lisa] Mm-hmm.

This is the best spring break ever.

Um, no. Down, dog.

I'm right here, Sam.

Don't be so fuckin' uptight.

I wasn't gonna actually do it.

We can leave right now. Just say the word.

No, I'm staying.

[Toby] Well, in that case, grab us some beers.

If my dick wasn't so stoned, I'd totally fuck you silly.

[laughter]

Right, 'cause that's the only reason

that's not happening.

- I'd like to make a toast. - [Sam] Ugh!

Oh, my God, so boring! Let's just get shitoxicated!

- Seriously. - Aren't you already drunk?

Aren't you supposed to toast with champaign?

Hey, everyone! Focus.

I just wanted to say...

thank you guys so much for being so awesome on this trip.

I know I've been a bit weird lately,

But I appreciate you all bearing with me.

Show us your tits... [chuckling]

[Rachel] And, of course, thank you, to my mature...

All right, guys! [Lisa shrieks]

What's with everybody always getting my shirt wet?!

For the real chug toast.

[Lisa] Damn it.

[Sam] Cheers.

So, what do you guys think?

My uncle's place is pretty tight, right?

Eh.

Yo, I thought your uncle was dead.

Who's keeping these fish alive?

[Jacob] My uncle didn't die that long ago.

Plus, he's got all types of automatic feeders hooked up

to keep these fellas kickin'.

Fish feeders don't last that long.

Your uncle must have died pretty recently.

Dude, are you, like, still in mourning?

Eh.

Whatever.

I hope those fishies don't mind

if I whip this bad boy out!

- What?! - Oh, shit!

[Jacob] Oh, dude! It's a bongasaurus!

Whoa! It's Bongzilla.

How'd I not see it sitting right there?

Because you're a Stoner.

Yes, I am.

- [Bevan] He's got you there. - I am.

[giggles]

Do you wanna do the honors?

Don't mind if I do.

Thank you, sir. - Yeah.

[bubbling]

Oh, God.

Oh, my God, that's gorgeous. - Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

[laid-back hip hop song playing ♪]

[bubbling]

Oh, shit.

Yo, blow some of that shit my way.

I'm better with the tech stuff when blazed.

♪

Ooh, yeah.

Can you feel that? - Yeah.

Yeah, this shit is dope.

What are you doing over there anyways,

Nerd-o-Rama 5000?

I'm settin' up a video game.

You've got my attention.

So, this system actually just plays classic video games.

- Lame. - Double lame.

Yeah, I figured you guys would say something like that,

and I totally understand.

Something vintage like this

requires a certain level of sophistication

that I would not expect from either of you two.

Oh, I get what you're doing.

I get what he's doing.

I get what you're doing.

You're trying to make your lame game seem less shitty

by calling us unsophisticated.

Is that what I'm doing?

Yeah, and I don't appreciate it, man.

Shit.

Video cord must be in the car.

I'll be back! - Oh, no, the video cord's in the car!

[Bevan] Don't fuck with the set while I'm gone!

[mocking] Don't fuck with the set while I'm gone!

Wait, how does that make us more unsophisticated

if we like more cooler, better, newer, less shitty games?

Yo, fuck Bevan, dude.

Let's fuck with this shit.

Yeah, let's fuck with his shit.

Fuck Bevan. Fuck Bevan! [chuckles]

[snoring]

[snoring]

And I'm the gay one.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck, dude!

Oh...

[static hiss]

[8-bit game music ♪]

Nice.

Where have you ladies been?

[Bonnie] Lady stuff.

Peeing.

Come here.

Ew. Perv.

Check it. I'll give you a better view, too.

Uh?

There's nothing to see.

[video game sounds]

Yes! I will fucking end you!

I will end you!

You're such a loser.

[Jacob] Yes!

[Bevan] Come closer and say that to my twat.

Hey, Bonnie, you motorboat me, I'll motorboat you?

[Bonnie] Ew!

[video game voice] K.O.

You okay?

[gasping]

[eerie ambience]

[gasping]

- [Sam] Hey, what's up, babe? - [Lisa] What's goin' on?

[Jacob] You guys need some help over there?

I-I'll be okay. I'm just a little dizzy.

Okay, good, 'cause I'm crushin' it right now,

and I don't want to fuck up my flow.

She'll be fine. This isn't the first time

I've made a girl dizzy at the sight of my body.

Please. If I had to choose

between seeing that or doing what she just did,

I'd definitely do what she just did.

I certainly understand.

Must be hard for you to look without touching.

[laughs]

[Sam] All right, babe, let's leave the boys to it.

You look like you could use some rest.

Thank you.

Hey you're coming back after you put her to bed, right?

If by put her to bed,

you mean puttin' those balls into dat ass!

That's not a thing.

Jacob, that's not actually a thing.

Told ya.

Such a child.

I think I'm gonna take a little nap.

Bonnie, you wanna come...

hit the sack? [Bonnie groans]

Kinda like how Rachel's hitting Sam's nutsack, right now?

Yes, yes, now I am certainly ready.

Excuse me. - What? I'm on fire!

[Bonnie, mockingly] I'm on fire.

I think you're making some headway with Bonnie.

I think soon I'll be getting some head from Bonnie.

[Bonnie] I heard that!

You were meant to!

I got this in the bag.

[video game music ♪]

I... [scoffs]

I thought that... you were just putting me to sleep.

I will when I'm finished.

Ugh, stop!

- What? - I'm sorry, I can't!

Rachel, are you serious right now?

I-I'm sorry.

Rachel, fuck! Come on!

My-my balls are like fuckin' Smurfs right now!

This is fuckin' bullshit, man!

Fucking...

Fuck!

[sighs deeply]

[ominous music ♪]

[Man] Okay, so, your friends are a bunch of perverted degenerates,

is that it?

You've painted a pretty vivid picture here.

I get it. We get it.

[Woman] Fast forward a little bit for us, Rachel.

When did things start to go wrong?

[Man] Yes, and be as precise and as detailed as possible.

We need to put together an intimate understanding

of how all of this went down.

The only way we could help you

is you offer us as much information as possible.

♪

[Sam] Whoo!

[upbeat electronic music ♪]

Yo, yo!

Got a special delivery!

[Jacob] Yeah!

[Bonnie] Are you seriously telling me

that none of you able-bodied men

are gonna help Rach out with this?

There is nothing able-bodied about me right now.

I'm pretty thoroughly fucked up.

[Bonnie] You guys are useless. And you, you're her boyfriend,

you're just gonna let her do this?

Nobody told her to do it.

I don't mind swimming with a few leaves.

Why don't you help if you care so much?

Yeah.

Chivalry is so fucking dead.

I'm good.

Hey, why did your uncle even live out here?

It's so boring.

And there are mosquitoes everywhere.

This may sound cliché,

but he really loved the great outdoors.

His house is practically a mansion.

Hey, how did he die?

Like, what happened?

Nah, they actually never found him.

What? Like he just, like, disappeared?

Yeah, something like that. I don't know.

My theory is that...

he's still out here, lost in the woods,

along with his mind...

and a machete.

[laughing]

I'm going for a swim.

♪

[Bonnie] Anyone else?

Spring break, bitches!

[guys laughing]

Come on, boys. - Get off my Kool Aid,

before I sick Uncle Travis on you.

[Lisa giggles]

[Lisa] So tiny!

[guys laugh]

[Sam] Come on, babe! Live a little!

I don't know.

[Sam] Don't you wanna make this a spring break to remember?

All right, children,

no photos or videos, or I will end all of you!

[guys exclaiming]

[laughing, cheering] [splashing]

I have no interest.

Yeah, this is weird. I agree.

[guys chattering] [splashing]

We're gonna pass!

- Oh, my God. - Aw, boo!

- Come on! - No!

[Bevan] I showed you mine! Come on!

[chattering]

- Debbie Downer! - Seriously!

Ugh!

- Oh, no! - Bonnie, no!

I'm gonna check on her!

Bonnie, come on! Bonnie!

Aw.

It's just you and me, boys.

[guys chattering]

[chilling music ♪]

[shrieks]

[Jacob] Ooh...

Bonnie, I got this. I promise, okay?

I'm gonna count to three, okay?

All right.

One, two, three. [Bonnie whimpering]

[muffled scream]

Someone give me a fucking painkiller!

[Lisa] I got you, babe.

How did this happen?

What do you think happened, Rachel?

Somebody put this there to hurt me! Fuck!

You guys, should I seriously go to the hospital right now?

Okay, the doctor will see you now.

Obviously I need something stronger than alcohol, Sam!

The fuck...

It's a nail, Bonnie. I'm sure it was just laying around or something.

I didn't see it there when I went there earlier.

You guys, should I literally go get,

like, a technical shot or something?

Fuck.

Okay, really? Nothing?

God!

Good friends, guys.

Fucking assholes. - Technical shot?

Yeah, I don't know.

[birds chirping]

[Bevan] Anyone need a beer?

[Sam] I'm good.

Hm.

[Rachel] Okay, guys. I think I need some rest.

Sam, you comin'?

I'm not going anywhere. Full house, baby!

Fuck!

He's such a sweetie. I can see why you're with him.

Whatever. I'm out of here.

There she goes, killin' the vibe again.

Every fucking time, dude.

You are so disgusting, Sam.

You are like the centipedes here.

Ooh!

Yeah, but unlike the centipedes,

I'm not gonna crawl into your mouth when you're sleeping...

Ew!

Unless you want me to.

That is so gross, you cockroach!

Okay, I need...

a shower every time I hear your slimy voice.

[Lisa] Well, at least you'll be really clean!

Need any company for those showers?

[Bonnie] Um, no!

God, why are my friends such perverts?!

[birds chirping]

[lighter clicks]

[bubbling]

Nice.

[thud]

Who's there?

Late Uncle Travis?

- [muffled] Die motherfucker! - Aah!

Oh, Jesus, Sam!

You scared the shit outta me, man!

Why do you have that stupid fucking skeleton mask

anyway, man?!

Chill, mi amigo. I've come for another cerveza.

What are you doin' in here alone, anyways, bro?

You gettin' jerked off by the ghost of your dead uncle?

Shut up!

Excuse me. I'm commandeering Bongzilla.

What? No!

No!

Come here!

[video game music ♪]

♪

Hi. I'm going to rip your skull out!

Nuh-uh. Not if I slice you in half

with me my ultra razor, motherfucker!

It's kinda cold here.

[Sam] Ready to lose your skull?

Are you ready to see me in hell?

Sam, do you think you could help me

with getting some firewood from the storage closet?

I think it'll definitely make this place warmer.

Uh, yeah. I'll be right there.

Don't let that girl get to you, Sammy.

She's Exorcist evil!

Ah!

If you'll excuse me.

Fuck.

[crickets chirping]

- Whoa. - It's kinda creepy down here.

- Hmm. - Hmm.

Let there be light.

[video game sound effects]

I guess there's no firewood after all, huh?

Yeah...

You're so fucking hot.

[shower running]

[ominous music ♪]

[Bonnie humming to herself]

What the fuck am I doing?

Shit!

Is someone there?!

Bevan, if that's you, I'm gonna fucking kill you!

[gasping with pleasure]

[quiet video game music ♪]

[creak]

[ominous music ♪]

[gasping with pleasure]

Come on!

Come on!

Die, motherfucker! Die!

[sputtering, choking]

[moaning, gasping]

[ominous, dramatic music ♪]

[screams]

Did you-did you hear that?

It sounds like someone else is gettin' some.

Go, Bev. [chuckles]

Wait, wait, did you hear that?

- No! - It sounded like it was Bonnie!

Dude! Dude! We need to go help her!

- Just let me finish. - No, really!

- Just let me finish! - It's Bonnie!

We need to help her!

[whimpering] Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Fuck! - What's wrong?!

[panicked breathing] He's dead. He's fucking dead!

- Who?! - Jacob's uncle Travis?

Bevan. Bevan is dead. Bevan is dead.

- What the fuck are you... - Aah!

- Bevan is fucking dead. - What are you talking about?

No, no. We need to get the fuck out of here.

Are you-are you sure?!

Are you sure he's dead?!

- Wait here! - Did you check his pulse?

We need to leave right now, Lisa.

W-we need to call the police.

Poor Bevan. All he wanted to do was fuck me!

I should've just let him fuck me.

I can't believe he's dead, Lisa.

Fucking call the police!

Has your phone worked since we've been here?!

Mine hasn't!

Yeah, exactly! I didn't think so!

Now, are you fucking sure that he's dead?!

Oh, my God.

[Sam] Bevan! Rachel!

Jesus!

I heard a scream, and I ran in here,

And there's- there's just blood everywhere!

[Sam] Come on, come on, come, on. Let's go.

This is fucked up.

Dude, what the fuck? What the hell is going on?

I don't know, man. Fucking...

I think Bevin's playing, like, some sort of fucked up trick!

That's really fucked up, man.

He wouldn't do that! It's way too fucked up!

Bonnie came out of the shower

and said that she saw Bevan dead.

Did you see Bevan?

Bev man's dead?

Now would be a good time for you to show yourself, Bevan!

We heard you from the storage room!

Who were-who were you with in the storage room?

We were just... We were getting firewood

From the storage room. Lisa and I.

Didn't you say the firewood was outside?

Wait...

Wait, I told everyone the firewood was outside.

You fuckin' liar.

Whatever, man! That's not important right now!

We need to figure out what the hell is going on!

How are we supposed to trust you?

You can't even get your story straight!

What were you doing in there?

Fuck! As always, you're stoned and paranoid,

and you can accuse me later, but not now!

- What if I accuse you right now, then, huh? - What the fuck?

What, are you gonna slice and dice us like you did Bevan?

- Relax! - [Rachel] Stop it!

- What the fuck's going on? - Stop it!

What's going on?

What's wrong with you, man?! Where were you?!

I just fucking told you! I was in the storage closet!

What the fuck were you and Lisa doing

in my dead uncle's storage closet?!

We were fucking! All right?!

Fuck!

All right?!

Look, babe. I'm sorry, but, like...

You... go to hell.

You better back the fuck off.

[tense music ♪]

- Thanks. - Dude, that's fucked up, man.

[electricity zaps]

What the fuck?

[mysterious music ♪]

Rachel. - Don't.

Guys, what happened?

Don't even look at me, whore!

[Sam] All right, I get it. Everybody hates me.

Fine. Whatever. Hate me on the way home.

Can we just get the fuck out of here?

- Yes, please. - Give me the keys.

Rachel, fuck these people.

I can't believe Sam would cheat on me with Lisa...

You were right all along, Toby.

Look, just keep it together.

We'll be home soon and you'll never have to see them again.

[Lisa] We're gonna die in here!

[Jacob] We're not gonna die!

[car does not start]

Fuck! Why aren't you starting?!

Oh, my God, oh, my God! We're gonna fucking die here!

Chill out, Lisa! Nobody else is dying!

Fucking try! Just turn it harder!

Fuck!

Shut the fuck up!

Ugh!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Yo, my steering wheel's fucked!

Ours, too. What the fuck's going on?

[Old Man] Hey, you guys.

What the hell are you doin' out here?

[Sam] Back the fuck up, old man!

What the hell are you doing here, Old Man River?

I heard screamin'.

Are you guys okay?

Are you now, or have you ever held a knife?

Well, of course I have. I ain't got one right now...

[thump] [grunts]

You think you can just come here

and go on some sort of fucked up killing spree?

No!

[Old Man] You misunderstood me.

[groans, coughs]

[weakly] Her credit... card.

[panting]

Oh, my God.

[dark music ♪]

I had no choice.

Is he dead?

Did you have no choice with Bevan, too?

You always have a choice!

I was trying to protect us!

He was just tryin' to deliver Lisa's credit card, man!

Oh, my God.

[Jacob] He was just tryin' to do something nice...

and now he's dead!

He was a creepy old man who followed us!

He probably would have killed us and raped Lisa and Rachel!

Just because he brought the credit card,

doesn't make him innocent!

Hold on! Wait! Why wouldn't he have raped me, too?

Oh, fuck!

I told him our address when I asked for directions.

[Lisa] Oh, my God.

Now we're all goin' to hell, man!

No, we're not!

We're not goin' to hell, Jacob!

You're especially goin' to hell, man!

I mean, I was here for this atrocity,

so yeah, I'm going to hell, but you,

you're going to the darkest fucking part!

Look I'm serious Jacob. Shut the fuck up!

Man, Dante didn't even explore the parts you're going to!

All right! We get it! We're all going to hell!

Let's just move on.

God damnit, Sam!

Holy shit.

[crickets chirping]

Sure you don't have any more bags...

in the room or something?

Yeah, as sure as I am

that Lisa's not riding the psychopath's sausage right now.

Really? You wanna fight, bitch?

I will Jiu Jitsu your tits off!

Now's not the time, Lisa!

- Yeah, well... - Jiu Titsu!

Now's not the fucking time!

- He's gone! - The old man is gone!

- What?! - Dude, I thought you said he was fucking dead, man!

I thought he was! I'm not a fucking doctor!

Fuck, dude! We have to go look for him!

We have to go fucking look for him! - Are you kidding me?!

I'm going to stay the hell away from there!

We-we should all hide until things settle down!

We need to stick together right now, Rachel!

So then come with me!

Fuck it!

I'll protect you if these idiots can't see what the right thing to do is!

- [Rachel] I'm outta here! - [Bonnie] Rachel!

No, fuck! We'll get her after, man.

Me and you have to go look for the old man! Let's go.

[Lisa] Don't leave me!

[Bonnie] I am not gonna die here.

You guys fucking wait!

Are you joking me right now?!

[Man] We need to paint a picture.

An image in our minds

so we can understand what happened.

We want to protect you, Rachel.

[tense music ♪]

I got you cornered now, fuck face!

[floor creaks]

[ominous ambience]

Fuck this shit.

[smash] [Sam grunts]

[intense music ♪]

[thud]

No. No, no, no, no! Jesus!

No, no, no, no!

Ugh!

Ah, not my dick!

No, no, not my fucking tip of my dick!

[slice] [panting]

[crying out in pain]

[breathes weakly]

[mysterious music ♪]

[Lisa] Any luck?

[Bonnie] How's it going?

Not good. This car is fucked.

I can't wait around for this any longer.

I'm gonna go in and check in on Sam.

[halfheartedly] Oh, no. Don't go in there by yourself.

[whispering] Sam?

Sam?

Sam, come on out!

Sam, come on, this isn't funny!

Stop dicking around!

[creak]

[tense music ♪]

Sam, is that you?

Sam, if you scare me...

I swear to God I will cut your balls off.

[gasping] Oh, my God!

[screams]

[grunts]

[eerie ambience]

[spooky music ♪]

[whimpering]

[groans]

Oh, fuck.

Fuck! Lisa! Are you okay?

No, I-I'm fine. Look, we gotta get outta here.

No, come here, come here, come here.

[indistinct shouting]

We have to get out of here!

We can't stay here.

Who did this to you?

I don't know. I can't remember.

No, you need to tell us what happened!

I don't know! We have to get out of here, though!

What's going on?

Rachel, did you do this to Lisa?

- [Toby] What? - She fucked my boyfriend!

I'm allowed to hate her, I'm not gonna hurt her.

You look pretty fucked up.

Sam!

[gasping]

Sam is dead! Sam is dead!

- What? - What?

What?

[Lisa whimpering indistinctly]

You're not going anywhere, bitch!

- Okay. - Fuck!

Are you fucking crazy?!

You heard me!

For all we know, you killed Sam! We know you fucked him!

Oh yeah?! And what would my fucking motive be?!

He didn't make me fucking cum hard enough?!

Maybe it finally occurred to you that Sam loves me

and he was just using you to get off!

This needs to stop right now!

Great fucking reassurance party!

All right? You know what?

This is the last time I'm gonna fuckin' tell you

I know Jiu Jitsu, bitch!

Wanna fuckin' push me?

You guys need to chill out!

- Why'd you do it?! - Do what? Murder him?

Or have him stick his eight and-a-half inch cock inside my fucking vagina?!

[screaming]

[thud] I will end you in a fucking heartbeat!

Oh, yeah?!

- Get off me, you motherfucker! - Oh, yeah?!

Hey, Lisa, can we talk?

Now's not really the time to be mad at each other.

Look. Sam is dead. All right?

Frankly, I care more about my life right now

than whether or not you're mad at me.

Guys,

that old guy, from down at the shop,

he made the hike up here, and he's like 90 years old.

I mean, I could probably do the opposite.

Maybe there's a land line down there, or something!

He didn't really do it. He's dead.

How many times do I have to tell you?

My foot is crippled! I can't fucking go anywhere.

Gimp, I'm not asking for you to come with me.

Honestly I don't trust any of you.

I'm outta here.

- Good luck. - [Lisa] This is bullshit.

[Man] You're scared.

It's understandable.

Fine.

[Woman] Sometimes when you're scared...

it can be therapeutic to draw what's scaring us.

Can you draw what's scaring you?

[eerie ambience]

[crickets chirping]

[ominous Music ♪]

Where the fuck did everyone go?

I can't let what happened to Sam happen to anyone else.

I'm goin' out there to find Lisa and Rachel.

How many times do I have to tell you?

My fucking foot is crippled.

I can't walk, Jacob!

Just hang tight for five minutes, okay?

We've been safe so far in the kitchen.

They couldn't have gone far!

Are you crazy? Don't leave me!

Look. Sounds travels in these woods.

The old man said it himself.

If anything happens, If you see anything,

just scream and I'll hear you.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen.

Please, please don't leave me.

I'll show you my boobs.

No. That's tempting, but no.

I have to do this..

If you're not gonna do what I say,

then fuck off.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Come here. Come here.

Listen.

I'm gonna find them. Okay?

I'm gonna find them, and I'm gonna bring them back,

and I'm gonna get us all out of here.

All right? I'll carry you on my back if I have to!

Okay? Look at me. Look at me.

I promise. I promise.

Come back quick. Okay?

I will. I will.

All right, when I leave, lock the door behind me. Okay?

When I come back, I'm gonna knock three times

so you know it's me. Okay?

I'm coming back for you. I promise. All right?

[mysterious music ♪]

[creak]

Jacob?

Rachel?

Lisa?

[crickets chirping]

Rachel!

Lisa!

Rachel!

Lisa!

Oh, fuck! Come on!

Oh! [Lisa screams]

God, Lisa! God damnit!

Shit!

Thank God it's just you.

Wait, you're not gonna fucking kill me, are you?

Are you serious?!

[distant thump]

Rachel?

Rachel, is that you?

It's a labyrinth out here!

Okay, whatever. Listen. My flashlight died.

We gotta find Rachel, we gotta get Bonnie,

and we need to get the fuck outta here.

No, you find Rachel. I'm gonna go get a flashlight.

- No, we stick together! - Dude!

She needs you more than I do!

I just need to be away from you guys.

I'll get a flashlight and I'll be on my way.

The f...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

[gasping]

[grunts]

[panicked breathing]

What did I ever do?

Please don't hurt me!

Please! [thump]

[crying out in pain]

[slamming]

[Bonnie crying]

[dramatic music ♪]

Help me.

[sobbing] Please don't hurt me.

[screams]

Bonnie!

[sobbing] I'm so disgusting!

Oh, my God!

I'm hideous.

[screams]

♪

Fuck!

Bonnie! Bonnie!

[sobbing indistinctly]

[Jacob] Bonnie!

[Jacob shouting indistinctly]

[Bonnie screaming]

Come on! Hang in there, Bonnie! Come on!

[shrieking]

[Jacob] Bonnie, I'm coming!

[shrieking]

[dark music ♪]

[Rachel] It's done.

Bonnie? Rachel, Rachel, let me see what's going on.

No!

I don't wanna be by myself right now.

Bonnie?

[screaming] No! No!

No!

What the fuck, man?!

[Rachel crying]

Oh, my God. How did this...

How did this happen? I thought that you were with her!

Should've never left her!

[Rachel] Oh, my God.

Where were you?

I was lookin' for Lisa!

I was lookin' for you!

- [Toby] I was here! - I was hiding!

[screaming] Oh, my God!

I just wanted us to stick together!

[crying]

Where...

Where's Lisa?

Is she okay?

I can't believe this shit!

Fuck.

Come on.

What are you doing?

We're not splitting up anymore. Right?

We're sticking together, we're grabbing Lisa,

and we're getting out of here.

No one leaves my sight until we're in a safe place.

Okay?

Okay.

[Toby] Rachel!

Why are you even crying?

These people are assholes! You know that!

What are you talking about?

These people are my friends!

They're human beings, for God's sake.

Who consistently walk all over you!

[screaming] No, they don't!

What the fuck, Rachel?

[all panting]

What's wrong with you, Rachel?!

What-what are you talking about?

Jacob, we have to get out of here now!

Why would we do a thing like that?

The fun's just gettin' started.

Ah!

Jacob, no!

Shh. Shh, shh. Shh.

[birds chirping]

What's wrong?

It's nothing.

I'm fine.

Did I do something to make you mad?

No.

It's not you.

Is there anything I can do to help?

I just need you to know that I will always be here.

What do you mean, always be here, Toby?

[ominous music ♪]

[cries out]

Oh, it's just you.

Ready to die?

[screams] [grunts]

Ah!

I know Jiu Jitsu, bitch!

[Lisa screaming]

Get the fuck off of me!

Crazy bitch!

[grunting]

Fucking psycho! Get the fuck off of me!

Get off of me!

[crush]

[Lisa screaming]

[eerie ambience]

[phone vibrating, ringing]

[groans]

[grunting]

[phone vibrating, ringing]

[grunts]

[panting]

[dialing phone]

[Man on phone] 9-1-1. What is your emergency?

Psycho killer! In my house!

Please send help! Please send help!

[Man on phone] I can't understand what you're saying.

I said psycho killer! What don't you understand!

Fuck! No!

Lisa? Lisa!

Lisa, come here!

[crying]

[gasping]

[weakly] Kill... kill the bitch.

[Jacob breathing heavily]

Fuck.

[eerie music ♪]

Come out and show yourself!

Jacob, thank God you're safe.

Don't you fucking come any closer!

Easy, Jacob.

I had nothing to do with any of this.

You hit me in the fucking head!

- It wasn't me. - Then who was it?!

Toby!

Toby?!

Rachel, what are you saying?

Toby!

Toby is the killer!

Am I supposed to know who that is?!

Toby, my brother who came with us.

Rachel, what the fuck?! - Who is Toby?!

You are completely insane, just like him.

I think you've lost it.

Stop acting stoned!

We have to get out of here before he gets the both of us!

Don't you understand? He's going to kill us!

[gasps]

There he is.

There he is! Run, Jacob! Run!

Rachel, put that down.

Rachel, out that down or I'm gonna have to fight back.

You need help! I can get you help!

I don't need help.

Snap out of it, Rachel!

I'm not Rachel.

[screaming] I'm Toby!

Jesus, you're really startin' to scare me.

And you're really starting to piss me off.

[screams] [thump]

[Jacob crying out]

[dramatic music ♪]

[Jacob groaning]

[Jacob crying out]

[screams]

Fuck!

[groans]

[coughing]

♪

I love you.

I love you, too.

[crying]

[dark music ♪]

[siren approaching]

The girls would kill me for recommending it, but...

we should go to your uncle's house for spring break.

Act like it's your idea, though.

Okay?

[Woman] So she's under the impression that her dead brother

killed all of her friends.

She's clearly insane.

No concrete evidence points her to these murders,

or the last batch.

You're right.

What she is... is dangerous.

So now what?

Honestly...

This girl enters an entirely new realm of fucked up.

[sighs]

I need some coffee.

You want?

Black as night.

What are you thinking...

you crazy fuckin' bitch.

[ominous music ♪]

[dramatic music ♪]