Original subtitles

Previously on Wynonna Earp...

Your transfer to Black Rock Prison is set for 0600 hours.

You taste different. -For the greater good.

How are you holding up? -I feel strong. -What did you do?

You play ball, I'll help you break the Earp curse. -What do we do?

Find and kill everything from the Ghost River Triangle.

What about Black Badge? -They should be scared of me.

No matter what they say, I only really have one job now.

So here we are. -You and me.

All sticky. -Oh, we've been stickier.

This water smells like turnips.

In hindsight, maybe visiting the trailer park was not our best idea.

We combed every scuzzy inch of Bobo Nation and not one revenant!

Maybe the creature we shot ate 'em. -Like it tried to eat us.

I can't believe we agreed to do this.

Agreed?! We were forced at gunpoint to sign a blood oath.

We fall in line or Black Badge makes us bleed.

This is the worst. -Well...

Perks ain't bad. -I had to do paperwork.

And I quote, "Whatever goo'd us stunk of living anus

"and was hairier than a prewaxed Nedley." -What? That's super accurate.

One last time, never touch the goo. -At least we injured something out there.

I needed the creature's body. -Living, dead - I don't give a shit.

Because until we collect every last supernatural entity

that you let in the Triangle, I am stuck in this "living anus" of a town.

Mm-mm. Willa's the Earp who let the riffraff in.

I was the one who bitch-slapped the tentacle,

slid back across the line, and sliced it like deli meat. -But did you kill it?

Um... -You may have fooled Moody,

but I know you helped your sister bring down the wall.

The people who matter know the truth. -Jump in any time, Henry.

Anybody got a light?

Hello? -Kowalski?!

This isn't funny, man!

Jesus? Dude?

Mr Kowalski, I walked the whole site myself, OK?

There's no evidence of foul play. -What about the blood? -The creepy noises?

Th-the shrieking? -Jesus hasn't even come back to work.

Well, Ms Gardner says he's unreliable. -You're working under the table too?

Yeah. -I'll file the report anonymously.

And I will keep an eye out. -Alright.

Unless there's a body or a missing persons report,

that's really the best I can do.

See or hear anything new, you give me a call, OK? -Fine.

I love watching you work! -Professional but caring.

Hoo-hoo!

This is my job.

OK? -OK.

I know it doesn't seem like anything special,

trying to convince Bill Lippencott to stop driving without a licence

or looking through security footage to figure out

who was flying a drone over the girls dance studio, but...

But what?

Nothing. Forget about it. -Look, I'm... I'm sorry about

the whole BBD undeputising thing, OK, but please don't shut me out.

I've got cases to track.

Looks like you might too.

Holliday? Holliday! Did you log your guns?

Component breakdown? Serial numbers?

I'm sitting right here. There's no need to holler.

I don't know how things were run around here before, but...

There were a lot less thumbs up asses.

He's gone. Dolls is gone. He's alone. He's injured.

And he has a lot of enemies who want him dead.

Finally, something you two have in common.

Jeremy, are you ready or not? -Yes, sir.

I have narrowed down the amount of entities that have entered the Triangle,

and I'm developing an algorithm to... track them.

Wait, we know where they are? -Umm... -Their movement is, like, erratic

and they tend to dissipate a lot, and, um... -We have no idea where they are.

OK, so we go back to hunting them old-fashioned style.

Emphasis on the 'we'. -I'm gonna have to take a raincheck.

Got a prior commitment. -There's a... there's a creepy condo site

that Nicole's gotten calls about. -Some weird, random noises, disappearances...

We don't do random. We have procedures, OK?

Wynonna, you try to keep your sass mouth in check

and shoot that cursed gun of yours.

You, basically... get coffee. -Hey! -Hey...

And, you, what do you even do around here, Holliday, besides reek of whisky?

Anyone? -Lots of... stuff.

Well, that sounded convincing. -Holliday, anything to say for yourself?

Nope.

Here's the plan. We follow up on Jeremy's research.

And you, get us... -Coffee and sugar for everyone? -Cream and sugar?

Earp, you never heard of tough love?

Hey, Lucado. Hey, how's the demotion going?

No, I don't want to be here, OK? -But if we don't start producing,

Moody's gonna pull the plug on this. -And all of us.

Or have you forgotten Eliza?

What do you want me to do? -What you're supposed to.

Kill me a demon already.

"Mercedes Gardner"?

Mercedes? -Earp?

God, you look good! -You... Those shoes.

Don't be fooled - way down deep, I'm still the poor little rich girl

who slept with half of Purgatory High.

Only because genuinely poor me was doing the other half.

Mmm! Bitch, bring it in. -Hi. -Ooh!

Uh, what's the second most hated chick in Purgatory doing back after, what...

12 years? -Buying it back piece by piece.

After that mass poisoning last month... -Thank you very much. -De nada.

..real estate hit rock bottom. -The whole town's up for grabs. It's cheap as chips.

You walked those stripper heels back here

just to turn us into a bedroom community?

It's not the revenge that Willa and I dreamed up

back when we were stealing beers back at the Gas Barn, but it is pretty sweet.

Every once in a while,

I wonder what Willa would be doing right now if she hadn't...

Tell me about it, yeah.

I am such an asshole. I don't know why I brought that up.

I'm... It's ancient history. -Ugh, feels like yesterday to me.

And now you're a... cop. -Eww! God, no.

Yeah, kinda.

Hey! -Splooge somewhere else, you idiot! -This hair doesn't do itself.

God! People! Am I right? -Yeah.

Some of them have gone missing. -Guy named Jesus.

Oh, you mean, run off the job? People get spooked.

We're converting a deserted school into condos.

Even I get the willies. -Mind if I have a look? -Sure, yeah. Just... discretion.

And don't grab anyone's butt. -I can't afford another harassment suit.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! -Please don't shoot! -Don't shoot. -Ooh!

Earl?! You work here? -Look, I-I needed a place to stay.

You remember the whole lifelong enemies thing, right? -Probably gonna kill you.

What is that? -Shaladelle.

I haven't smelled that in years, not since...

Willa.

Earl?

No!

Ugh.

In other news, I found Jesus.

Doc, uh, I know I told you

I needed help with something super disgusting. -No! I meant super sexy.

So call me back, if you can figure out your phone.

Wanna tell me where the hell you are? -Ugh!

Uhh...

Whoa. -Ugh! No! No!

Please.

Shaladelle.

Willa? -Ooh!

Coffee?

This will work.

This, however, will not.

Now all I need is a cook.

Look, you clean it up, the place is yours. -What do you think?

Well, I think you'd rather wear a ball gown down Main Street

than do me any favours. -So I've got to ask - what's in it for you?

Well, there's something about this place that attracts

those citizens I need to keep my eyes on the most.

You know, the dregs of Purgatory.

So, when Shorty's was declared abandoned and needed a new owner,

I thought of you. -Oh, I can respect that,

even if it is lazy as shit. -You got the cash to pay the taxes

to get her up and running or not? -I am a man of means.

I will find a way.

So many layers. -Oh, God.

It's disturbing how happy you are right now.

Though it is more of a Jeremy thing.

So why is Lucado sticking you in here with this

when you should be out sticking it to supernatural nasties?

Because she doesn't need dead humans. -She needs the things that get them dead.

She's... dangerous. -If we don't follow her rules...

Yeah, it really is up to the rest of us, isn't it?

You, me, Jeremy... -Lucado's lapdog is not one of us!

OK.

And so where are we on Doc these days? -Even when he's here, he's not here.

What is he doing that's so important? -Mourning his stupid hat?

I mean, it was a good hat. -We're a team.

And we will always be a team.

With or without... -Yeah.

I miss him too. -Even if he is a demon lizard.

Dead demon lizard. -Hey! Don't say that.

Dolls will make it through, OK? I know it in my heart.

This annoying positivity thing - always been there?

Or just a by-product of banging a hot redhead?

Less banging, more cold shoulder, huh? -It's for her own protection.

You know, I would die if anything happened to her.

It's just... I mean, she could like...

Oh, my God! Ah! -Oh, my God! -Shoot it! -Lucado would want it alive!

I hate myself for saying that. -Oh, my God!

How are you doing? Still having fun? -I'm good.

Voicemail? -Lucado, pick up the phone! -Maybe try Jeremy again.

How long before this thing eats its way out?

If I get off, it'll eat its way through me! -Not if I shoot it.

You sure Peacemaker likes you again?

I beg your what? -Your aim's never been super. -I'll try. -You'll try?!

Come on, Kung-Fu Princess! Ready?

OK.

Waves, don't!

Told you I'd dead it. -It's dead, right, though? -Sucked its last dude dry.

So many jokes, can't even choose. -Hey. Oh, goo alert.

Goo alert! -Oh! Mother-slimer! -I'll get you a towel. -No!

But the goo's... -Goo bad. -Decontamination shower worse.

This is your breaking point?

Dude, Lucado's not even here, we're gonna play by her rules?

No...? -This may be a shitshow. -But it's our shitshow. -So we're back?

Call Doc, maybe he'll pick up for you, and tell him

to meet us at the homestead for an emergency symposium.

Awesome sauce! But what do we do with demon spidey?

Put it on Lucado's desk with a note from me that says...

You're gonna stare that hard, you should at least introduce yourself.

Doc. -I said I'd be back. -And I said I'd call you.

I didn't come to fight, Rosita, merely to inquire on my proposition.

You think you need more time... -I don't. -It's too expensive for your sorry ass

and damn near impossible. -I've been "damn near" many things in my long life

and, still, here I stand.

Where did you get the goods, hmm? -I know they're not legal.

Frankly, that's what I thought might entice you.

Is this for your friend with the big gun? -It is not.

Hmm. Answer's still no. -I can pay. -I don't need money.

Or anything else you got. -Well, you can't blame a man for trying.

One more thing. Do you have a pen?

It's my final offer. -And something you do need.

Waverly? Well, hello, darlin'. -A symposium?

Oh, that's what I'm talking about.

So coconutty and good.

Usurper! -OK! Sorry, sorry! -Jeremy, one of these days,

you're gonna step out of the shower, and I'm gonna be there waiting, watching.

I, uh... I have an inverted nipple.

What are you...? What is that doing here, near my snacks?

Uh, OK, Waverly said if I came over, then, um, I could examine it.

Ugh! She's trying to get you on board. -On board what?

Never mind, itty-bitty titty.

Hey, did she happen to mention

if and when Doc is gonna grace us with his presence? -Oh, um, I'm sorry.

Uh, Doc's... Doc... Doc's coming here? -Yeah.

Want me to wait outside for him? -I'm not the boss of you, so...

Sure, go. -OK!

My boss is gone.

Maybe forever.

But when you're gone, you're... ..gone.

That's a beautiful photo. -The one I've been cropped out of?

Hey, listen to this. "I hate that they brought the baby into the house.

"There's something wrong with it.

"Mama told Daddy that we have to do what is right."

What does that even mean? "And why does she get the pretty name? Waverly.

"Whatever. She'll never be one of us." -Willa was just a kid.

Yeah. -She didn't think I was an Earp.

And... ..neither did Bobo.

Bobo? -What wouldn't that gaslighting sociopath say

to freak you out? -There was another side to him, OK?

A side that wouldn't lie to me. -This is crazy.

Look, you are the... the Earpiest Earp of them all.

I guess we're still fighting. -No, someone's coming up...

Do you have any idea when Doc's planning... ..stairs. -Shit.

Hi, Wynonna. -Sorry. -I'm gonna go.

Cool kicks. -Sorry! -OK.

Don't even worry about it. -She wanted to leave.

Are you... What's wrong?

What? Is this about Willa? 'Cause back at Black Badge, you said her name. I was...

She's haunting me. -What?

She's full-on woman-in-black haunting me. -I mean, she's all veiled-up, but...

How do you know it's her? -Mama's perfume? -Willa loved it best.

And I keep seeing this... this figure.

And sh-she smells like... -Like Shaladelle?

Why is she haunting me?

I mean, besides the fact that I k-killed her?

Wait. -What if Willa can't leave?

Look at this room. -Yeah, it's a freakin' museum.

We never let her go. -She was our sister. And an Earp.

Who chose to turn against us.

OK.

You know how to exorcise something bad, Earp or not?

Lots of fire.

Viscous cutaneous membrane.

Signs of an exoskeleton.

Whether it was growing one or has recently moulted is yet to be determined.

Much like the trajectory of my career. -I should be in a Black Badge lab.

One thing you learn about Purgatory, there are no 'shoulds'.

The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can relax.

Uh, dude, I don't... I don't relax.

But if I did, I'd want it to be with you.

But I don't know. -It's wonderful.

Can you teach me to use voicemail? -Doc!

Finally! -Ladies, where's the fire? -Outside. Five minutes. -OK. Sorry.

You brought the booze, right? -Yes. Come on.

Don't use all the whisky to start the fire.

They're really doing it. Should we stop 'em?

You can't stop an Earp, son. -Not without some buffalo tranquillisers.

Don't put my pants on the fire!

Huh. -Calm down, sis. Of course we own the house.

Mom and Dad left it to all of us. -Oh...

I'll be home soon. -Anyway, we'll talk there.

I don't care if Tucker likes it! -We have to stick together, even if it kills us.

I'll see you soon.

Viewings are from 9:00 to 5:00!

During non-freak hours.

It's working. -What is? The ghost of Willa leaving?

No. This. I'm all boozy inside.

Doc.

I am a woman!

I made fire. See it?

Oh, I may have glimpsed its fiery glory.

Considering Black Badge is a festering pile of 'unfun',

I consider one glorious thing a win.

It's Willa's stuff. -Sometimes, it's good to say goodbye.

Alright. Whoo!

Am I to assume that our symposium is postponed?

I thought I could keep the team together.

I can't be the leader.

I can't. I... I'm only good at busting the leader's balls.

It is alright to miss him, Wynonna.

I didn't know when we rescued Dolls we wouldn't get to keep him.

He cannot come back here.

This is the first place they will look for him.

I never thought I'd see you again either.

And then, at the party...

..there you were.

As were you. -Both of you.

I would never have kissed him if I didn't think that you were dead.

Come, now, Wynonna, we've never lied to each other.

You are free to kiss whoever you like.

As long as they want you to.

I mean, how do you do that? -How do you do it? Huh? -Do what?

Turn your feelings on and off like that, like a robot.

Not to mention your loyalty. -Where the hell have you been lately?

I have ponies that need watering from time to time. -Cute. OK.

But here's the thing, if we don't play ball with Black Badge,

then we're dead - Waverly too.

So I need you to nut up and I need you to show up!

Why should I, huh? To watch you get soft?

Become an easy target for Lucado's bullshit?

This, coming from a self-indulgent, egomaniacal... asshole!

Don't forget 'friend'.

Eggshell!

Eggshell! -Uhh, semi-gloss. -I thought for sure it was a piece of exoskeleton,

because that would make sense, right? -But it's not. It's an eggshell.

It's an eggshell! -Do I need to slap you?

The creature you shot wasn't THE creature. -It was a baby. -What?

And I think it has siblings.

Yeah? -Please help me, Wynonna. It's coming.

They're coming! -They're coming and they're gonna kill me!

Ugh. Ohhh!

Whoa.

This is really gonna eff-up your property values.

Do you still smoke? -Ugh. God, no. -Let's get you somewhere safe.

Stay with her. I'm gonna go poke around, OK? -I'm such a shit, Wynonna.

People used to make fun of you when you talked about what happened to Willa.

I was too chicken to say it, but I believed you. -Demons, they do exist.

And now I kill them. -Come on.

I got peach schnapps in my go bag and some travel checkers.

'Cause this night wouldn't be complete

without a hellish road trip through my childhood.

Oh, Earl,

it's your old pal Wynonna!

Earl, Earl, Earl... -I'm pretty sure the condo association

doesn't allow eight-legged pets.

They're not mine. -I-I-I get skid marks in my shorts

every time I hear them in the walls.

I don't want to hear about your shorts. Ever.

I've been in Purgatory for over 95 years, working for Bobo,

but now what have I got? -A chance to freelance, create your own destiny.

Forget about Dolls. Be your own woman.

I feel like I might have lost the plot a bit.

You... You were saying?

All I dream about is-is not... not having to run anymore.

I dream of not having to chase your sorry asses.

It's... it's almost like we're cursed. -I don't know who hates it more, you or me.

We're the ones getting sucked into hell

in a never-ending loop that eats away at our sanity, so...

You're right. It's totally me. -I don't want to die. -Well, you're in luck.

I've just been promised a new way to break the curse.

Sold my soul to Black Badge to get it,

but might mean not having to kill everyone in sight.

Wait, so we could all be free? -Yeah.

I could stay here and protect it.

Protect what? -This place is old, you know.

Almost as old as me.

Earl? Earl!

This condo is being built on an old school, right?

Anything original still left?

There's a few nooks and crannies no-one uses.

Great. Can we get into them?

Holliday.

Sonofabitch! What is this? -It's a chapel.

What would a chapel be doing in a... -Trinity. Catholic school. Right.

It's calling to me. -You like this?

I know a cathedral in France that'll blow your skirt up.

You're not worthy of its glory.

If I had a nickel for every guy who said that before we danced.

Stupid Earl.

What are you doing here?! -I don't know what's behind door number one,

but I'm pretty sure it's not a Sea-Doo.

I'm not leaving you alone to face... Earl?

They look so peaceful when they sleep. -Alright, just stand back.

I recall pretty clearly

that my front door was locked up for the night.

Huh! So was my safe.

A government-issued safe from which classified documents were stolen.

You've five minutes to give them back or I arrest you for treason.

I wonder what your arrest warrant would say, Ms Lucado,

if I was to leak the information I found in said government-issued safe.

Mr Moody might be interested to learn

that you hired mercenaries behind his back

to terminate Deputy Marshall Dolls,

all paid for out of your own personal accounts.

How did you know you would find something incriminating?

You said Dolls was injured. -That was very specific.

So, what can I get you

in exchange for those documents, huh?

No-strings investment in this fine establishment.

Oh, and cash if you're amenable.

Well, that's what you need.

But is that all you want? Hmm?

Most definitely.

You could have asked me to call off the hunt for Dolls.

He's already killed the assassins you sent, hasn't he?

Or to lay off the Earp girls. -Thought never crossed my mind.

Hmm...

You bring me the documents, I'll have your cash by morning.

Much obliged. And Jeannie?

This is what I bring to the team.

Holy body snatchers.

Should we call in the team? -Baby girl...

..we is the team.

Oh, my God!

I don't know if I should be frightened or jealous.

Us - one. Slimy guys - negative infinity.

Though they did get my favourite suede shoes.

You wore suede?! What is it, your first day? -Thank God you two showed up.

The Earp girls! Who knew? -And to add insult to injury, you're stuck with me.

I sold my place out east two days ago. -No. Run as fast as you can.

You remember my brother and sister, right? -Beth and Tucker.

They wreaked havoc on the family fortune,

and guess who gets to swoop in and clean it all up.

It always comes down to the big sister, doesn't it? -Hmm, not always.

This is just like the old days, except you're hotter, I'm rich,

and if we get drunk and steal a local squad car, you could get us off.

Sounds like my kind of Wednesday. -Uh, guys, this stuff is starting to squish

into cringe-worthy crevices, so I gotta go.

We terminated a dozen or so pods,

which in turn destroyed the primary egg-sac thing.

But we checked what we thought were its vitals.

It was mostly yolk at this point, so we're pretty confident it's dead.

Jeremy, I'm decontaminating into a prune! Am I done?

Yes. Yes. Uh, coming. Coming.

And then I took off all my clothes

and danced Gangnam style while eating a goo omelette. -Delish.

Great! Good! -Uh, bag that thing

and, uh, well, Jeremy knows what to do, OK?

She... she didn't have any questions. -Oh, yes, I have one.

Did smashing all those demon eggs make you wet?

Well, uh, I like my job,

but it hasn't bought me dinner in a really long time. -Oh.

Oh! Oh, God, no. It's, uh...

No, it's just that, uh... This thing, um...

This right here is a Krakinos. -Typically, they're submerged in water.

So why was it in the basement?

Stupid Earl shouldn't have been there either.

And then... and then there was that ghostly figure.

All this supernatural shit being drawn to one place.

Or... or to something in that place. -A thing that could still be there.

Shit! -Shit.

It is downright post-apocalyptic in here.

It smells like bad beer and worse choices. -I'll make it work.

I'd love to think it was my charm that changed your mind.

Think again. -I don't like being blackmailed.

Trust me, I know the feeling. -But this is for a friend.

I'm tired of running and hiding. -And then running again.

As long as you work for me, Rosie, you can rest those weary legs.

You cannot sell this sludge in here.

We'll not have any of your hipster elderflower concoctions.

We are buying better bourbon. Case closed.

Show me your set-up. -Your real set-up.

Those spiders, Earl, they were all drawn here to guard... that thing.

Which means when we took out the eggs, we cleared a path for whoever...

Whoever came and did this. -Poor, stupid Earl.

Three beasties in one place, I never even noticed. -Really let the boss down.

Yeah, who cares about Lucado? -I'm not talking about her.

Dolls was never anything but proud of you. -You can't give up.

I have to give him up. He's gone.

But we ain't.

And we came to fight.

We on the Fury Road express, baby girl, and there aren't enough flaming guitars

and gassy generals to bring us down. -Oh, I like when you're scary.

I'm afraid the scary is just beginning.

Oh, Jesus! -OK, I rang. -OK. -And then I knocked, so...

Waves, this room!

It's really you, but different.

Yeah, well, I feel different.

Are you still mad at me? -Girlfriends fight. -It's... it's OK. It's...

It's, uh, it's normal. -It's kind of the worst. -It's totally the worst! Yeah.

So I got you something. -Ironically, I hope it doesn't make you mad.

Hmm? -Application forms? But what for?

Birth certificate, medical records, school documents...

Anything that could prove I'm an Earp.

Or not. -Hey. -I know that going down this road

is really important to you, and...

..and as long as you want me,

I will be by your side.

Oh, come on with me. I really mean... -Are you sure?

Yeah. -Yeah? -I mean, best sex

is... is make-up sex, right?

And I-I-I like you.

I like you too.

Give me a whisky! -Sadly, being as we are not officially in business

due to some licence that gives me

the right to take money in exchange for liquor, I can't sell you squat.

Hence the term 'give'.

Those are cool.

Very vintage.

You're renovating or...? -Just a top coat.

No, this bar might be ugly and scarred,

but, uh, it serves its purpose well.

You're right. It's good the way it is.

Hey, are we OK?

Hey, I think Lucado's off our ass. -Mostly 'cause she don't give a damn.

As long as she's around, she's an enemy.

She wants you to think she's indifferent. -Do not turn your back on her.

Hmm. Maybe I am getting soft, huh? -That makes one of us.

Doc, I... I have this...

..gut feeling something is coming and it's bad.

I should lock up. -Apparently, being a businessman

involves some soul-sucking activity called inventory.

You keep the bottle. -Oh. OK.

Thanks.

I'm going to need a dedicated generator and way more ventilation.

I do not want us to go drawing attention. -Yeah, totally,

because no-one's gonna notice when this place blows,

leaving nothing but a crater and one craft-beer tap.

Reverse engineering, synthesising - it's delicate, timely work.

I can get you whatever you need except time. -This needs to happen fast.

Burnt every last thing of hers, but I had to rescue Mr Plumpkins.

I have no beef with him. -What you saw,

do you really think it was her ghost?

Maybe I just wanted it to be her.

Yeah, well, I'm OK with not seeing her again.

She was so angry and dark.

The night I shot Daddy, I couldn't...

..I couldn't save her.

Thought this time would be different.

But she will always be our sister.

Once an Earp, always an Earp.

So they say. -Come sit on the porch with me?

Nicole... She's kind of upstairs, so... -Ohhh!

Cold shoulder to warm bed, huh? -Yeah.

OK, well, you go do all that.

When I say "do all that", I do mean do...

Oh! Got it. Hey.

Hey. -Yeah. -Go sit.

OK? Go sit.

Even Fury Road has pit stops.