Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,329 --> 00:00:07,697
- You guys remember the Olsen twins?
- Mm-hmm.
2
00:00:07,731 --> 00:00:09,699
- They really grew up.
- They sure did.
3
00:00:09,733 --> 00:00:11,567
Which one would
you rather nail...
4
00:00:11,602 --> 00:00:13,236
Mary-Kate or Ashley?
5
00:00:13,303 --> 00:00:15,538
Which one played Zack,
and which one played Cody?
6
00:00:18,709 --> 00:00:21,210
Heads up, Steve.
It's Lyle Winkler.
7
00:00:21,245 --> 00:00:23,246
That dude is always trouble.
8
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,048
- Yeah, what's he doing here?
- Guys, give Lyle a chance.
9
00:00:26,116 --> 00:00:28,317
Remember after our team
blew out his team in hockey?
10
00:00:28,352 --> 00:00:30,353
It changed him.
He became a different guy.
11
00:00:30,387 --> 00:00:32,154
Hello, Sullivan.
12
00:00:34,591 --> 00:00:36,626
Hey, Lyle.
What have you been up to?
13
00:00:36,693 --> 00:00:38,261
Well, after
that ass-whipping
14
00:00:38,328 --> 00:00:40,229
you put on me and my
peewee hockey team,
15
00:00:40,264 --> 00:00:41,697
I got a little introspective.
16
00:00:41,732 --> 00:00:43,499
I read
"chicken soup for the soul."
17
00:00:43,533 --> 00:00:45,635
I keep a copy
right next to me on the can.
18
00:00:45,669 --> 00:00:47,169
Real good reading.
19
00:00:47,204 --> 00:00:48,437
I'm very happy for you, Lyle.
20
00:00:48,472 --> 00:00:50,072
Well, it's thanks to you,
Sullivan.
21
00:00:50,107 --> 00:00:51,674
What you said to me
last time I saw you
22
00:00:51,708 --> 00:00:53,242
really hit home, you know?
23
00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:55,945
All that talk about winning
not being everything...
24
00:00:55,979 --> 00:00:58,114
that pussy talk...
it really sunk in.
25
00:00:58,148 --> 00:01:00,483
I should write a book...
"Pussy talk for dummies."
26
00:01:01,985 --> 00:01:03,625
And, uh, now that
we're all getting along,
27
00:01:03,654 --> 00:01:05,021
I've got some good news.
28
00:01:05,055 --> 00:01:06,122
I've opened a business.
29
00:01:06,156 --> 00:01:07,923
It's right across the street.
30
00:01:07,958 --> 00:01:10,119
Kind of a meeting place where
the community can gather.
31
00:01:10,127 --> 00:01:11,460
Like a coffee shop.
32
00:01:11,495 --> 00:01:13,095
Kind of, but more adult.
33
00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:15,598
No, this is a place
where I'm gonna serve pretzels,
34
00:01:15,632 --> 00:01:18,067
have some sports on TV,
serve some drinks.
35
00:01:18,135 --> 00:01:19,302
That sounds like a bar.
36
00:01:19,336 --> 00:01:21,304
Yeah, that's pretty much
what it is.
37
00:01:21,338 --> 00:01:24,573
You're opening a bar across
the street from Sullivan & Son?
38
00:01:24,608 --> 00:01:27,543
It sounds so personal
when you say it like that.
39
00:01:27,577 --> 00:01:30,446
You're calling it Lyle & Son?
40
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,316
I hope you like it.
It just came to me.
41
00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:35,151
See you, Sullivan.
42
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:39,030
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
43
00:01:39,256 --> 00:01:43,592
♪ Da da da da,
da da da, da, da da ♪
44
00:01:43,627 --> 00:01:47,730
♪ da, da da da, da da da ♪
45
00:01:47,764 --> 00:01:52,001
♪ da da da da,
da da da, da da da ♪
46
00:01:52,035 --> 00:01:57,606
♪ da da da da, da da da,
da da da, da da da, hey! ♪
47
00:01:57,641 --> 00:01:59,308
Can you believe this guy?
48
00:01:59,343 --> 00:02:02,378
Lyle's bar's got 16 3-d tvs,
complete NFL package.
49
00:02:02,412 --> 00:02:04,046
He's even got
a taquito station.
50
00:02:04,081 --> 00:02:07,683
Taquito...
Spanish for "small taquit."
51
00:02:09,186 --> 00:02:11,146
You know, if he thinks
he's gonna compete with me,
52
00:02:11,154 --> 00:02:12,354
he's got another think coming.
53
00:02:12,389 --> 00:02:13,322
I'm gonna kick his ass.
54
00:02:13,357 --> 00:02:14,990
There's only one way
55
00:02:15,025 --> 00:02:19,028
to deal with a competitor
from the outside... muscle.
56
00:02:19,062 --> 00:02:20,229
What are you talking about?
57
00:02:20,263 --> 00:02:22,465
Lyle's driving down the street.
58
00:02:22,499 --> 00:02:24,567
He realizes
his brakes don't work.
59
00:02:25,669 --> 00:02:29,939
He's walking down the stairs,
and there's a step missing.
60
00:02:29,973 --> 00:02:33,409
He's sleeping in his bed...
he's hit with a hammer.
61
00:02:35,112 --> 00:02:38,047
It's a dangerous
neighborhood, Steve.
62
00:02:38,081 --> 00:02:41,350
Accidents happen.
63
00:02:41,418 --> 00:02:45,254
Years ago, I spearheaded
a business association
64
00:02:45,288 --> 00:02:47,390
of merchants
in the neighborhood.
65
00:02:47,457 --> 00:02:50,593
Are you saying
you started a mafia?
66
00:02:50,627 --> 00:02:53,429
Just say the word, Steve,
67
00:02:53,497 --> 00:02:54,997
and a poison dart
68
00:02:55,031 --> 00:02:57,533
will magically hit Lyle
in the back of the head.
69
00:02:57,567 --> 00:02:59,402
Untraceable...
70
00:02:59,436 --> 00:03:02,538
But sends a message.
71
00:03:02,606 --> 00:03:05,241
Look, look, Lyle doesn't
scare me, all right?
72
00:03:05,275 --> 00:03:06,876
I worked on wall street.
73
00:03:06,910 --> 00:03:09,078
I can handle myself
in a competitive marketplace.
74
00:03:09,112 --> 00:03:11,981
Hey, guys, listen, I need you
to go over to Lyle's,
75
00:03:12,015 --> 00:03:14,016
do some recon,
observe, take notes,
76
00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:15,951
find out where he's vulnerable.
77
00:03:15,986 --> 00:03:17,153
Yeah, we can do that.
Yeah.
78
00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:18,521
We'll report back in an hour.
79
00:03:20,457 --> 00:03:22,558
Hey, Carol, who's the guy?
80
00:03:22,592 --> 00:03:24,026
He's my new boss.
81
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:27,196
Jack, I just got
a promotion at the DMV.
82
00:03:27,264 --> 00:03:28,931
It's a dream job.
83
00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:32,435
It requires no effort,
thought, or movement.
84
00:03:32,469 --> 00:03:34,403
That does sound pretty great.
85
00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:35,905
Well, it's not perfect.
86
00:03:35,939 --> 00:03:37,239
It's just me and Ralph,
87
00:03:37,307 --> 00:03:40,142
and... he thinks
he's a comedian.
88
00:03:40,177 --> 00:03:41,444
You mean he tells jokes
all day?
89
00:03:41,511 --> 00:03:43,446
Worse.
He does impressions.
90
00:03:43,513 --> 00:03:44,547
But I can handle it.
91
00:03:44,614 --> 00:03:46,315
I just smile
at everything he says
92
00:03:46,349 --> 00:03:47,950
and act like I'm enjoying it.
93
00:03:47,984 --> 00:03:49,185
That's got to be tough.
94
00:03:49,219 --> 00:03:51,487
Ask any woman.
It's really not.
95
00:03:53,256 --> 00:03:54,723
Here you go, Ralph.
96
00:03:54,758 --> 00:03:56,425
Thanks, Carol.
97
00:03:56,493 --> 00:03:59,328
But I think we're gonna
need a third drink...
98
00:03:59,396 --> 00:04:04,166
one for me, one for you,
and one for Mr. Robin Williams.
99
00:04:04,201 --> 00:04:06,068
Oh, don't encourage him!
100
00:04:06,102 --> 00:04:08,070
He'll just keep going,
like the energizer bunny!
101
00:04:08,104 --> 00:04:10,206
On speed! Step, two, kick,
three, hit drum, and spin!
102
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,540
Madonna! Madonna!
103
00:04:11,575 --> 00:04:14,410
Lady Gaga! Lady Gaga!
104
00:04:14,444 --> 00:04:17,613
Robin Williams... I-it was funny
in the car ride over.
105
00:04:17,681 --> 00:04:20,649
A-and it's still funny now.
106
00:04:20,684 --> 00:04:23,419
What do you mean, "funny"?
107
00:04:23,453 --> 00:04:26,889
I morphed
into my Joe pesci impression.
108
00:04:26,923 --> 00:04:28,891
Funny like a clown?
109
00:04:28,925 --> 00:04:31,360
I amuse you?
How am I funny?
110
00:04:31,394 --> 00:04:33,395
Yay!
111
00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:34,897
Okay.
112
00:04:34,931 --> 00:04:36,665
Any more people,
we'll need a bigger table.
113
00:04:38,502 --> 00:04:40,202
Hey, dad, have you
seen the guys?
114
00:04:40,237 --> 00:04:41,477
I thought
they'd be back by now.
115
00:04:41,505 --> 00:04:43,072
It's been a couple hours.
116
00:04:43,106 --> 00:04:46,342
I haven't seen them,
and you're not gonna like this.
117
00:04:46,376 --> 00:04:48,477
Check out the best bar
in Pittsburgh.
118
00:04:48,512 --> 00:04:50,379
Grand opening up.
Lyle & Son.
119
00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:53,148
Aw, yeah!
120
00:04:53,183 --> 00:04:54,383
Advertising on my turf?
121
00:04:54,417 --> 00:04:55,651
All right,
this is out of control.
122
00:04:55,685 --> 00:04:56,952
I'm going over there.
123
00:04:56,987 --> 00:04:58,454
And, you, get off my property.
124
00:04:58,488 --> 00:05:01,390
Yeah, beat it.
This is Sullivan turf.
125
00:05:01,424 --> 00:05:03,025
Spinning a sign.
126
00:05:03,059 --> 00:05:05,227
Your parents must be so proud.
127
00:05:05,262 --> 00:05:08,130
I make $120,000 a year
doing this.
128
00:05:08,164 --> 00:05:10,165
Really?
129
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,035
Are they looking for people?
130
00:05:24,347 --> 00:05:25,548
Son of a bitch.
131
00:05:25,615 --> 00:05:27,917
He took my bar and made it fun.
132
00:05:27,984 --> 00:05:29,652
Uh, what's going on, guys?
133
00:05:29,686 --> 00:05:32,388
You were supposed to
be back in an hour.
134
00:05:32,422 --> 00:05:33,656
We're doing recon.
135
00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:36,592
We're wrapping up our research.
136
00:05:36,626 --> 00:05:38,060
We're almost out of here.
137
00:05:39,062 --> 00:05:40,329
Where's Owen?
138
00:05:40,397 --> 00:05:42,464
I'm swimming!
I'm swimming!
139
00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:45,000
Steve.
140
00:05:48,705 --> 00:05:50,472
Mel.
141
00:05:50,507 --> 00:05:52,374
Mel! I swear to God,
I will break your...
142
00:05:52,442 --> 00:05:54,710
oh, my God, Steve.
143
00:05:54,744 --> 00:05:57,146
Hi.
144
00:05:57,213 --> 00:05:59,381
Welcome to Lyle & Son.
I'm Pepper.
145
00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:01,250
Do you think you
could come cheer for me
146
00:06:01,284 --> 00:06:02,551
in the mud-wrestling
contest?
147
00:06:02,586 --> 00:06:06,021
I'm fighting Shauna,
and she's a bad girl.
148
00:06:06,056 --> 00:06:07,856
Holy shit.
149
00:06:07,891 --> 00:06:09,091
Good luck.
150
00:06:10,393 --> 00:06:11,660
Sullivan.
Glad you came.
151
00:06:11,695 --> 00:06:13,295
We were starting to feel bad
152
00:06:13,330 --> 00:06:15,164
having such a great time
without you.
153
00:06:15,198 --> 00:06:17,399
Pick a beer from our beer map.
154
00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:19,368
You're selling beer for $1?
155
00:06:19,402 --> 00:06:21,570
Uh-huh. Lyle, I-I'm
in the bar business.
156
00:06:21,605 --> 00:06:23,672
I know what this costs...
the food, the servers...
157
00:06:23,707 --> 00:06:26,875
The implants.
158
00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:28,310
You can't be making any money.
159
00:06:28,345 --> 00:06:29,545
I'm not.
160
00:06:29,579 --> 00:06:31,046
Oh, I get it.
161
00:06:31,081 --> 00:06:32,514
You're not interested
in running a bar.
162
00:06:32,549 --> 00:06:34,516
You're interested
in running me out of business.
163
00:06:34,551 --> 00:06:36,051
- Bingo.
- Why?
164
00:06:36,119 --> 00:06:38,487
Take a step over
to my motivational corner.
165
00:06:41,958 --> 00:06:43,292
Our middle-school
newspaper?
166
00:06:43,326 --> 00:06:44,994
See that article right there?
167
00:06:45,061 --> 00:06:47,896
Uh, "Sullivan beats Winkler
and takes wrestling title."
168
00:06:47,964 --> 00:06:49,164
Oh, yeah.
Forgot about that.
169
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:50,399
You forgot?
170
00:06:50,433 --> 00:06:53,035
The most significant day
of my life?
171
00:06:53,103 --> 00:06:54,436
Y-you're kidding, right?
172
00:06:54,471 --> 00:06:56,271
You see that empty shelf
right there, right?
173
00:06:56,306 --> 00:06:59,975
The wrestling trophy that
you stole belongs on it.
174
00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:01,944
After you beat me,
I was so embarrassed,
175
00:07:01,978 --> 00:07:05,514
I turned to food, then to dance,
then back to food.
176
00:07:05,548 --> 00:07:08,484
You opened a bar
because I beat you at wrestling?
177
00:07:08,518 --> 00:07:11,020
You took away from me
what I was best at,
178
00:07:11,054 --> 00:07:14,189
and now I am gonna take away
from you what you are best at.
179
00:07:14,257 --> 00:07:15,457
You go ahead and try.
180
00:07:15,492 --> 00:07:17,960
Sullivan & Son has been
around for 60 years,
181
00:07:17,994 --> 00:07:19,995
and you know what?
We'll be around for another 60.
182
00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:26,168
I don't know, Sullivan. Your buddies
seem to really like it here.
183
00:07:26,202 --> 00:07:27,469
I don't care what you do, Lyle.
184
00:07:27,504 --> 00:07:28,904
It's gonna take more
than a couple of boobs
185
00:07:28,938 --> 00:07:30,039
and some games
to bring me down.
186
00:07:30,073 --> 00:07:31,974
Hey, guys, we're out of here.
187
00:07:32,008 --> 00:07:33,642
Yeah. All right. Pepper!
188
00:07:33,677 --> 00:07:36,245
And the judges for today's
wet t-shirt competition
189
00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:38,447
will be Ahmed, Owen, and Roy.
190
00:07:39,949 --> 00:07:41,917
Really, guys? After all
these years of friendship,
191
00:07:41,951 --> 00:07:43,519
all it takes is
a few girls in t-shirts?
192
00:07:43,553 --> 00:07:45,421
Who wants to spray us down?
193
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,871
Is this Sullivan & son?
194
00:07:59,905 --> 00:08:01,172
Yes, it is.
195
00:08:01,206 --> 00:08:03,007
Oh, sorry. We were
looking for Lyle & Son.
196
00:08:03,042 --> 00:08:05,410
Get out!
197
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:08,446
Carol, you know who's coming
to the DMV tomorrow...
198
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:09,814
three presidents.
199
00:08:09,882 --> 00:08:12,383
Really? I thought we were
done with the presidents.
200
00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:15,086
Well,
Carol, you're either with us...
201
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,821
Or you're against us.
202
00:08:16,855 --> 00:08:19,190
We need you when we invade
the Iraqi guy's cubicle.
203
00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:22,727
Isn't that right, Bill Clinton?
204
00:08:22,761 --> 00:08:24,862
Oh, you bet it is.
205
00:08:24,897 --> 00:08:26,764
What do you think,
Barack Obama?
206
00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,700
I think it'll be fine
207
00:08:28,734 --> 00:08:30,802
as long as you, uh,
start slow in the beginning,
208
00:08:30,836 --> 00:08:32,537
uh, and, uh,
speed up at the end.
209
00:08:32,571 --> 00:08:34,639
That was pretty good, man.
210
00:08:34,673 --> 00:08:36,641
I thought it was great,
211
00:08:36,675 --> 00:08:38,076
and, Carol, you look fantastic.
212
00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:40,111
Yay!
213
00:08:42,681 --> 00:08:44,082
- How'd it go?
- That guy's a prick.
214
00:08:44,116 --> 00:08:45,983
He's deliberately
undercutting us.
215
00:08:46,051 --> 00:08:48,453
Kid, you're
panicking for nothing.
216
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,589
The bar business
has its ups and downs.
217
00:08:51,623 --> 00:08:54,025
Lyle is not a threat,
and you know why?
218
00:08:54,093 --> 00:08:57,562
Because as long as we got
Hank and his buddies,
219
00:08:57,596 --> 00:08:59,197
we have a solid business.
220
00:08:59,231 --> 00:09:01,499
Hank... Is a bell cow.
221
00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:04,035
Wherever he goes, they go.
222
00:09:04,069 --> 00:09:06,504
Hello, Sullivan.
223
00:09:06,538 --> 00:09:07,672
Winkler.
224
00:09:07,706 --> 00:09:09,006
Where's my good buddy Hank?
225
00:09:09,074 --> 00:09:10,174
What do you want with Hank?
226
00:09:10,209 --> 00:09:11,676
Oh, nothing.
227
00:09:11,710 --> 00:09:12,777
Pepper!
228
00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:16,647
I'm, uh, Lyle Winkler, Hank.
229
00:09:16,715 --> 00:09:18,616
I opened a bar
across the street.
230
00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:20,084
This basket is for you.
231
00:09:20,119 --> 00:09:23,387
We would be very interested
in having you visit us.
232
00:09:23,422 --> 00:09:25,890
Oh, my.
I'm being courted.
233
00:09:25,924 --> 00:09:29,026
Well, those are the ugliest
roses I've ever seen.
234
00:09:29,061 --> 00:09:30,728
They're made of bacon.
235
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:33,965
Those are the most beautiful
roses I've ever seen.
236
00:09:33,999 --> 00:09:37,668
And please accept this finely
aged scotch, Cuban cigars,
237
00:09:37,736 --> 00:09:40,138
and a DVD set of the finest
detective show ever...
238
00:09:40,172 --> 00:09:41,572
"Columbo."
239
00:09:41,607 --> 00:09:44,142
You, sir, have done
your homework.
240
00:09:44,176 --> 00:09:47,111
Lyle, Hank doesn't want to
hear your line of crap.
241
00:09:47,146 --> 00:09:48,780
It's not crap.
242
00:09:48,814 --> 00:09:51,983
Doesn't Hank deserve to be
taken care of and cherished?
243
00:09:52,017 --> 00:09:53,918
Yeah, don't I?
244
00:09:53,986 --> 00:09:56,454
Well, we cherish you, Hank.
245
00:09:58,957 --> 00:10:01,859
Yeah, well, you never
gave me a bacon rose.
246
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:03,174
Sullivan,
you don't respect Hank.
247
00:10:03,195 --> 00:10:04,796
You're just trying to buy him.
248
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:07,598
Hank, I see you as a real person
with real feelings.
249
00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:09,867
I've never
been the pretty girl,
250
00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:10,968
always the funny friend.
251
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,039
You're not just
the pretty girl, Hank.
252
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,642
You're my pretty girl.
253
00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,878
This one over here
called me a cow.
254
00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:23,014
Come to where you're valued.
255
00:10:23,048 --> 00:10:25,650
There go the regulars.
Lyle's gonna win.
256
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:28,019
No, he's not.
Your dad started this bar,
257
00:10:28,053 --> 00:10:30,154
and now I'm running it...
the bar stays.
258
00:10:30,189 --> 00:10:32,790
Look, I've always found a way
to defeat this guy.
259
00:10:32,825 --> 00:10:34,592
I just need to get in his head.
260
00:10:34,626 --> 00:10:37,628
Lyle's a bully, and bullies
have one weakness... their ego.
261
00:10:37,663 --> 00:10:41,499
Steve, Steve, Steve.
262
00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:45,169
There's a much more efficient
way to deal with this.
263
00:10:45,204 --> 00:10:48,072
Let the association handle it.
264
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,775
You know the subway
down the street
265
00:10:50,809 --> 00:10:52,677
owned by the Kim family?
266
00:10:52,711 --> 00:10:57,982
One day, someone from outside
wanted to open a Quiznos.
267
00:10:58,016 --> 00:11:01,219
Next thing you know,
they disappearedznos.
268
00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:09,527
Sullivan.
269
00:11:09,595 --> 00:11:12,630
Man, I got to hand it to you.
You got a nice place here.
270
00:11:12,698 --> 00:11:15,266
You got everything you need.
You got my friends.
271
00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:18,736
You've got my best customer.
272
00:11:22,007 --> 00:11:26,143
But, uh, here's the one thing
you don't have.
273
00:11:26,211 --> 00:11:28,813
Ohh! The trophy!
274
00:11:28,847 --> 00:11:31,549
That's right... the trophy.
275
00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:32,483
Can I touch it?
276
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:33,718
Ask nicely.
277
00:11:33,752 --> 00:11:35,586
Please.
Sure.
278
00:11:35,621 --> 00:11:36,721
Psych!
279
00:11:36,788 --> 00:11:38,856
Damn you to hell, Sullivan!
280
00:11:38,891 --> 00:11:40,625
Why so angry, Lyle?
281
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:45,196
Is it because I'm the best
wrestler in the whole 8th grade?
282
00:11:45,230 --> 00:11:46,497
Take it back!
283
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:47,665
No backsies.
284
00:11:47,699 --> 00:11:49,233
I'll always be
the best wrestler.
285
00:11:49,268 --> 00:11:50,801
And even if you
shut down my bar,
286
00:11:50,869 --> 00:11:54,171
I'll always be
the best bartender.
287
00:11:54,206 --> 00:11:57,108
Well, good day, Winkler.
Enjoy your bar.
288
00:11:58,277 --> 00:11:59,577
Sullivan, wait.
289
00:11:59,645 --> 00:12:02,179
Yes?
290
00:12:02,214 --> 00:12:04,048
What do I got to do
to get that trophy?
291
00:12:04,082 --> 00:12:06,050
Oh. I don't know.
292
00:12:06,084 --> 00:12:07,852
Off the top of my head...
293
00:12:07,886 --> 00:12:09,754
bartending competition?
294
00:12:09,788 --> 00:12:11,188
Okay, Sullivan, it's on.
295
00:12:11,223 --> 00:12:13,624
If you win,
I close down this bar,
296
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,861
but if I win, I get that
8th-grade wrestling trophy.
297
00:12:16,895 --> 00:12:18,663
- Seriously?
- Yeah, is that weird?
298
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:22,166
No, no, no, no.
Makes perfect sense.
299
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,734
See you, Winkler.
300
00:12:23,769 --> 00:12:25,770
Goodbye, former friends.
301
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,840
Before you go, Sullivan,
you should know
302
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,642
I trained for eight months
303
00:12:31,677 --> 00:12:33,177
under legendary bartender
sir James Benedict
304
00:12:33,245 --> 00:12:34,912
at the Dorchester in London.
305
00:12:36,148 --> 00:12:37,748
I did not know that.
306
00:12:45,323 --> 00:12:47,190
Hi, Steve.
307
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,025
Well, look who's back.
308
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,794
I'm sorry, buddy.
We were weak.
309
00:12:50,828 --> 00:12:53,263
But that's over.
We're here for you.
310
00:12:55,032 --> 00:12:56,032
"Ste"?
311
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:57,801
Wait for it.
312
00:12:57,835 --> 00:12:59,402
Go, Steve!
313
00:12:59,437 --> 00:13:01,838
Whoo!
314
00:13:01,873 --> 00:13:03,673
All right, guys.
All right, all right.
315
00:13:03,708 --> 00:13:05,108
- Y-you're forgiven.
- Thanks, pal.
316
00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:06,376
- We love you.
- We love you, buddy.
317
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,778
- Good guy.
- Thank you.
318
00:13:07,812 --> 00:13:09,112
Dad, I'm really nervous.
I got to win.
319
00:13:09,147 --> 00:13:11,014
It's the only way we're gonna
get rid of this guy.
320
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:14,217
Relax, kid. You come
from a family of bartenders.
321
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,886
You got it in the bag.
322
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,288
He studied for eight months
at the Dorchester in London.
323
00:13:18,322 --> 00:13:20,423
I did not know that.
324
00:13:21,492 --> 00:13:24,828
Steve...
Look over there.
325
00:13:24,862 --> 00:13:26,763
That's the association.
326
00:13:29,066 --> 00:13:31,268
Is that my pediatrician?
327
00:13:31,335 --> 00:13:35,238
Out of respect, we're letting
you go through with this,
328
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,407
but we put a clock on you.
329
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,877
You don't solve this tonight,
our hands are tied.
330
00:13:40,912 --> 00:13:42,746
Capisce?
331
00:13:44,348 --> 00:13:47,450
I'm here.
Let the games begin.
332
00:13:47,485 --> 00:13:49,853
Thanks for having the
competition here, Sullivan.
333
00:13:49,887 --> 00:13:51,321
My place is so packed
with customers
334
00:13:51,355 --> 00:13:52,989
it would have cut
into my business.
335
00:13:53,024 --> 00:13:54,357
Well, enjoy
your customers, Lyle,
336
00:13:54,392 --> 00:13:55,759
because when your doors close,
337
00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:57,127
you're all coming
back to my bar.
338
00:13:57,161 --> 00:13:59,729
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
339
00:13:59,764 --> 00:14:01,231
I am the pub master
340
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:04,134
for the greater Pittsburgh area
barkeeper's guild,
341
00:14:04,202 --> 00:14:07,804
and I will be judging
today's best-of-three event
342
00:14:07,872 --> 00:14:10,707
covering all aspects
of bartending.
343
00:14:10,775 --> 00:14:12,309
Let's let the games begin!
344
00:14:15,046 --> 00:14:16,813
This is so exciting.
345
00:14:16,848 --> 00:14:18,815
- It needs a narrator.
- N-no, it doesn't.
346
00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:20,884
W-w-we can really enjoy it
without the talking.
347
00:14:20,918 --> 00:14:23,153
I wish you would have said that
348
00:14:23,221 --> 00:14:25,088
before Morgan Freeman
showed up.
349
00:14:25,122 --> 00:14:29,793
No, no. He... he's old.
He shouldn't be up this late.
350
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,229
The truth is, Ralph and Carol
351
00:14:32,263 --> 00:14:34,898
had never expected to see
this sort of competition.
352
00:14:37,401 --> 00:14:39,836
But there it was.
353
00:14:41,205 --> 00:14:44,040
Our first challenge is called
"what's in the drink?"
354
00:14:44,075 --> 00:14:45,375
Mr. Winkler, pick a card.
355
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:51,081
Gin and tonic.
Boy, that's a toughie.
356
00:14:51,148 --> 00:14:53,516
Well, you got your gin,
you got your tonic,
357
00:14:53,551 --> 00:14:55,051
you got your lime garnish.
358
00:14:55,086 --> 00:14:56,186
Correct.
359
00:14:56,254 --> 00:14:58,355
Mr. Sullivan.
360
00:14:58,389 --> 00:15:03,460
All right, uh, Wadsworth club
Christmas punch. Seriously?
361
00:15:03,494 --> 00:15:07,464
All right, uh, cream,
nutmeg, Brandy,
362
00:15:07,498 --> 00:15:10,433
cinnamon, rum,
and a bottle of champagne.
363
00:15:10,501 --> 00:15:12,402
I'm sorry, you missed
one ingredient.
364
00:15:12,436 --> 00:15:15,672
Mr. Winkler, if you can name the
ingredient, you get the point.
365
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,941
Candied mint sprig.
366
00:15:18,009 --> 00:15:19,743
You are correct.
Point for Lyle.
367
00:15:21,913 --> 00:15:25,482
Our second event
is the tri-barthalon.
368
00:15:25,516 --> 00:15:28,685
On your marks, get set, go.
369
00:15:38,162 --> 00:15:42,132
One, two, three, four five!
370
00:15:46,037 --> 00:15:50,173
Mr. Winkler, the time to beat
is 18.3 seconds.
371
00:15:50,207 --> 00:15:53,410
On your mark, get set, go!
372
00:15:53,444 --> 00:15:55,912
Screw that.
You can have that point.
373
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,283
As we wait
374
00:16:00,351 --> 00:16:02,485
for the march of the
bartenders to continue,
375
00:16:02,553 --> 00:16:06,222
we check in with our old
friend Robin Williams.
376
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,159
And you
should have seen the little people.
377
00:16:09,193 --> 00:16:10,794
You wouldn't believe it.
It was amazing.
378
00:16:10,828 --> 00:16:13,063
No, no, no, no, no,
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
379
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,464
I can't take it.
380
00:16:14,498 --> 00:16:16,366
It's the impressions, right?
381
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,001
I do too many.
382
00:16:18,069 --> 00:16:20,870
I-I thought I could handle it,
but I really can't.
383
00:16:20,905 --> 00:16:22,839
I know.
I-I've tried to quit.
384
00:16:22,873 --> 00:16:25,108
But every time I do,
385
00:16:25,142 --> 00:16:28,845
they keep... pullin' me
back I-I-in!
386
00:16:28,879 --> 00:16:31,681
Ralph, you're a very sweet man,
387
00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:33,917
but it's hard for me
to be around you.
388
00:16:33,985 --> 00:16:36,019
All these voices
and impressions...
389
00:16:36,053 --> 00:16:37,387
it's too much.
390
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:40,223
But thank you
for the opportunity.
391
00:16:40,257 --> 00:16:42,125
I understand.
392
00:16:42,193 --> 00:16:45,762
You were
the best assistant I ever had.
393
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,397
I'm gonna miss you,
Carol Walsh.
394
00:16:47,431 --> 00:16:51,201
Is that Sean Connery?
395
00:16:51,235 --> 00:16:53,169
Would you
work for Sean Connery?
396
00:16:53,204 --> 00:16:55,338
And only Sean Connery?
397
00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:57,807
Could he occasionally have
Willie Nelson over? No.
398
00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,542
What about Liza Minnelli?
No!
399
00:17:01,045 --> 00:17:04,781
Sit back down
and enjoy your drink, Moneypenny.
400
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:08,218
Oh, I don't mind if I do.
401
00:17:08,252 --> 00:17:12,756
So it all comes down to this
final event... bar therapy.
402
00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:15,825
The contestants will console
a troubled bar patron
403
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:16,993
of their choice.
404
00:17:17,061 --> 00:17:18,094
Mr. Winkler.
405
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,230
Okay, I choose this guy.
406
00:17:20,264 --> 00:17:22,298
How you doing today, buddy?
407
00:17:22,366 --> 00:17:23,733
Not good.
408
00:17:23,768 --> 00:17:25,468
My wife and I
just got in a big fight.
409
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,003
And whose fault is that?!
410
00:17:27,038 --> 00:17:29,305
Hmm, let me guess...
you want him to listen more.
411
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:31,241
And you want more sex.
412
00:17:31,308 --> 00:17:32,842
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
413
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,444
Welcome to married life.
414
00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:38,148
Now, look, you,
listen to her when she talks,
415
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,283
and, you, when you talk,
be naked.
416
00:17:42,086 --> 00:17:45,055
Wow.
That was good.
417
00:17:45,089 --> 00:17:46,356
What do I do, dad?
418
00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:49,025
Do what you always do...
get in his head.
419
00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:51,127
Mr. Sullivan,
who do you pick?
420
00:17:51,162 --> 00:17:55,832
Well, I, uh... I pick,
uh... Lyle Winkler.
421
00:17:56,801 --> 00:17:59,002
Wha?!
422
00:18:00,938 --> 00:18:04,407
Okay, Sullivan,
knock yourself out.
423
00:18:04,442 --> 00:18:05,408
How's it going?
424
00:18:05,476 --> 00:18:06,843
Tip-top.
425
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,311
Funny.
426
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:10,947
You've been trying to bring me
down for 20 years,
427
00:18:10,981 --> 00:18:13,383
saying it's 'cause of
some childhood wrestling match,
428
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:14,951
but that's not it.
429
00:18:14,985 --> 00:18:18,321
What else happened
in your life in 1994?
430
00:18:18,355 --> 00:18:19,956
Nothing.
431
00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:22,125
Isn't that the year your...
your parents got divorced?
432
00:18:22,159 --> 00:18:23,993
Yes.
433
00:18:24,028 --> 00:18:27,063
And I also believe
that your dog, Buster,
434
00:18:27,098 --> 00:18:29,432
also ran away from home.
Tough year.
435
00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:32,202
It was only tough
because of what you did to me.
436
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:34,938
Was it me? I mean, did your
parents really get divorced
437
00:18:34,972 --> 00:18:37,107
because I beat you
in a wrestling match?
438
00:18:37,141 --> 00:18:38,808
I don't think so.
439
00:18:38,876 --> 00:18:41,144
Really? I'll show you
the card my dad wrote.
440
00:18:41,178 --> 00:18:43,880
"Dear Lyle, because you lost
the wrestling match,
441
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,148
"I'm leaving your mother.
442
00:18:45,182 --> 00:18:46,382
P.S. I'm taking Buster."
443
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:50,453
You have all this hate
and anger,
444
00:18:50,488 --> 00:18:53,223
and you think it's because
of this wrestling trophy.
445
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,691
So, you know what...
446
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:58,128
Take it. It's yours.
447
00:18:58,162 --> 00:18:59,362
Do you feel better?
448
00:18:59,396 --> 00:19:01,831
Yeah.
Do you really?
449
00:19:01,899 --> 00:19:04,033
Is that trophy
gonna take away the pain
450
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,802
from your parents, the dog?
451
00:19:05,836 --> 00:19:06,769
Yeah.
452
00:19:08,038 --> 00:19:10,673
Really?
453
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,208
No.
454
00:19:12,243 --> 00:19:14,244
Lyle, it's time
to let all that go.
455
00:19:14,311 --> 00:19:17,280
I mean, you can't hold on
to all this hate in your heart
456
00:19:17,314 --> 00:19:20,383
because if you do, you'll never
be the best Lyle Winkler.
457
00:19:20,417 --> 00:19:22,986
And isn't... isn't
that what you really want?
458
00:19:26,056 --> 00:19:27,123
Yeah.
459
00:19:28,692 --> 00:19:30,093
Here's your trophy, Sullivan.
460
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:33,429
And the winner is...
Steve Sullivan.
461
00:19:35,733 --> 00:19:37,033
Wait, he gets a ribbon?!
462
00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:38,868
Now you got a ribbon
and a trophy?!
463
00:19:38,903 --> 00:19:41,838
Sullivan, this is so unfair.
You get everything.
464
00:19:41,906 --> 00:19:44,140
I'm outta here!
Pepper! Get the car!
465
00:19:44,175 --> 00:19:45,909
Wait.
466
00:19:45,943 --> 00:19:50,313
Before you start the car,
give us two minutes.
467
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,316
Congratulations, son.
468
00:20:01,351 --> 00:20:03,252
I knew you'd outthink him.
469
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,254
It wouldn't have happened
without you, dad.
470
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,256
Are you wearing
a bulletproof vest?
471
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:11,493
There's been
a lot of activity lately.
472
00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:12,628
Oh, my God.
473
00:20:12,662 --> 00:20:15,163
Lyle's bar is on fire.
It's bad.
474
00:20:15,198 --> 00:20:16,918
It looks like it's gonna
burn to the ground.
475
00:20:20,670 --> 00:20:22,671
Lyle, what are you doing here?
476
00:20:22,705 --> 00:20:24,673
Your bar's on fire.
Whatever.
477
00:20:24,707 --> 00:20:28,176
You know, watching
that place torch makes me wish
478
00:20:28,244 --> 00:20:31,413
I would have overinsured it
for like $650,000...
479
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:34,349
oh, wait, I did.
I feel better.
480
00:20:34,384 --> 00:20:36,118
You burned down your own place?
481
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,452
Well, yeah, I mean, you told me
482
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,087
to be the best
version of myself.
483
00:20:39,122 --> 00:20:41,390
The guy that burns his own bar
for the insurance money...
484
00:20:41,424 --> 00:20:42,691
that's me.
485
00:20:42,725 --> 00:20:44,426
Right now I'm gonna
take all my money
486
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,361
and open up one of those brake
and lube places down the street.
487
00:20:46,396 --> 00:20:48,764
You know, the Koreans that own the
only one in the neighborhood...
488
00:20:48,798 --> 00:20:50,599
they don't know what the hell
they're doing.
489
00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:52,734
Actually, Lyle,
you might not want...
490
00:20:52,769 --> 00:20:54,736
You know what,
good luck with that.
491
00:20:56,773 --> 00:20:58,373
Mom.
492
00:20:58,408 --> 00:21:00,676
On it.
493
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:03,701
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
35596
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
