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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:04,938 Hey, Steve, notice anything different about me? 2 00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:06,540 Uh, you don't have a beer in your hands. 3 00:00:06,541 --> 00:00:08,274 And whose fault is that? 4 00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:11,211 Okay, how about now? 5 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,380 Uh, the vein in your forehead is pulsing. 6 00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,416 Did you see two men holding hands? 7 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:19,386 Come on. What do you see? New suspenders. 8 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:22,189 No, no. These are the ones I found in the alley. Come on. 9 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,390 I give up, Hank. 10 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,825 Sweet Jesus! I got my hair cut! 11 00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:32,131 I told my barber to surprise me, and, boy, did he. Huh? 12 00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:35,334 - Hey, everybody! - Hey. 13 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,372 Oh, God. 14 00:00:38,373 --> 00:00:41,275 It's the world's worst driver... Brad Keselowski. 15 00:00:41,276 --> 00:00:43,610 And that's coming from an Asian woman. 16 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,280 The guy hasn't won a Nascar race in months. 17 00:00:46,281 --> 00:00:48,382 It's been loss after loss after... 18 00:00:48,383 --> 00:00:50,450 Hey, champ! 19 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,219 Stop blowing smoke up my ass. 20 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,388 I'm on the worst losing streak of my life. 21 00:00:54,389 --> 00:00:56,156 Oh, it hasn't been that bad. 22 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,025 Oh, really? First, my tires blew. 23 00:00:58,026 --> 00:00:59,393 Then I ran out of gas. 24 00:00:59,394 --> 00:01:02,129 And last week, I was tweeting amusing emoticons... 25 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:05,365 Smiley face, birthday cake... crash. 26 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,568 Were you tweeting last year 27 00:01:07,569 --> 00:01:10,270 when you turned my Corolla into an accordion? 28 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:13,706 Hey, I remember you. You used to scare me. 29 00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:16,610 And you still do. 30 00:01:16,611 --> 00:01:19,112 So, Brad, haven't seen you in a while. 31 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,480 What brings you to town? 32 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,549 Oh, just passing through for the big race. 33 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:25,214 - How fast can you go? - About 200 mile an hour. 34 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,220 You know, usually, I don't like men who finish fast, 35 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,755 but in your case, I'll make an exception. 36 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,257 Ma'am. 37 00:01:32,406 --> 00:01:34,127 Hey, Brad, you remember me? 38 00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:36,063 Oh, yeah. Hank. 39 00:01:36,064 --> 00:01:38,532 Hey, I really like what you did to your hair. 40 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:40,400 Well, thank you. 41 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:42,968 Steve... suck it. 42 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,128 Steve, I'll open the beer this time. 43 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:09,630 I'm feeling good about this one. 44 00:02:09,631 --> 00:02:11,732 Come on, baby. 45 00:02:11,733 --> 00:02:13,700 Oh, man! 46 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,636 I'm never gonna win this beer sweepstakes. 47 00:02:15,637 --> 00:02:17,437 So unfair. 48 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,973 Well, there's something the supreme court can't fix for you. 49 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:23,710 Hey, Owen, check it out... 2:00. 50 00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:26,046 - Oh, she is hot. - Ask her out, Owen. 51 00:02:26,047 --> 00:02:28,281 No way. I've been on a cold streak. 52 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,651 I totally lost my game. I'm not smooth. 53 00:02:30,652 --> 00:02:32,686 I'm not cool. I'm not confident. 54 00:02:32,687 --> 00:02:34,588 Lately, I've been saying a lot of stupid things. 55 00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:36,423 Lately? 56 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:39,292 Yeah, it's happened with like the last 68 girls. 57 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:42,129 Well, then, you're due, Owen. Look, what have you got to lose? 58 00:02:42,130 --> 00:02:45,365 You're right. I'm going in for 69. 59 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:48,035 Hi! 60 00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:49,569 Uh, sorry. 61 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,304 That was too loud. 62 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,407 Hi. 63 00:02:53,408 --> 00:02:56,043 Sorry. I'm waiting for someone. 64 00:02:56,044 --> 00:02:57,511 - Who? - A bolt of lightning, 65 00:02:57,512 --> 00:02:59,678 Anything that'll end this conversation. 66 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:03,684 So that's a negatory? 67 00:03:03,685 --> 00:03:05,285 I keep screwing up. 68 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:08,255 I want a girlfriend, someone special in my life 69 00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,823 that me and my mom can wake up with. 70 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,361 Aw, honey, here's your problem. 71 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,697 You're setting your stakes too high. 72 00:03:16,698 --> 00:03:18,865 You're looking for someone who will be better than mommy. 73 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,867 It's not gonna happen. 74 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:25,172 - Good luck. - Mm. 75 00:03:25,173 --> 00:03:27,074 Mom, you still playing that Korean lottery? 76 00:03:27,075 --> 00:03:30,577 Oh, yes. I'm in it to win it. 77 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,579 Why? You always lose. 78 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,815 This year is going to be different. 79 00:03:34,816 --> 00:03:37,517 I have worshiped and shown great respect 80 00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:40,654 to Chilsungshin, the Korean God of luck. 81 00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:44,124 And his power is going to manifest itself 82 00:03:44,125 --> 00:03:46,526 somewhere here in this bar. 83 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,894 I can feel it. 84 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:51,797 Which reminds me... it's ritual time. 85 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:59,840 And now I remember why my friends never came over. 86 00:03:59,841 --> 00:04:03,543 How dare you mock the all-powerful Chilsungshin. 87 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,545 I can't believe how superstitious you are. 88 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,347 How can someone as practical as you 89 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,449 believe you can control something like luck? 90 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:12,786 All I know is the one time I disrespected them, 91 00:04:12,787 --> 00:04:16,455 the next morning, I woke up pregnant with Susan. 92 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:27,267 And Keselowski wins! He's back on top! 93 00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:29,110 Congratulations on the win, Brad. 94 00:04:29,111 --> 00:04:30,470 What turned things around for you? 95 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:33,573 I don't even know. Just, uh, a great effort today, 96 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,643 uh, everyone on the team, fast car, great pit stops. 97 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,712 I did stop by my favorite bar in Pittsburgh. 98 00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,881 I-I pulled up a stool, had a beer. 99 00:04:40,882 --> 00:04:43,517 Uh, hey, I guess that was lucky for me. 100 00:04:43,518 --> 00:04:46,386 Here's to you, Sullivan & Son. Thank you. 101 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,791 Just got a shout-out on national TV! 102 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,563 It's the stool. 103 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,401 Keselowski sat right here. 104 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:06,206 Chilsungshin's power has manifested itself in this stool. 105 00:05:06,207 --> 00:05:10,477 He has blessed me and this bar with luck. 106 00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,544 Mommy needs a hit. 107 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,948 All right! 108 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,953 Now it's time to pick the winning lottery numbers. 109 00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,559 Steve's birthday... 26. 110 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,694 Susan, what's your birthday again? 111 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:28,695 The 11th. 112 00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:31,697 Okay, 10 and 12. 113 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:36,403 Whoa! Check out that girl, Owen. 114 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:37,971 No. I'm done getting shot down. 115 00:05:37,972 --> 00:05:39,606 Why don't you sit on the stool? 116 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:40,774 Maybe it'll give you some luck. 117 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,342 I guess I could do that. 118 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,511 You know what? I'm gonna give it a try. 119 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,812 Cool. I'll watch your beer. 120 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:52,084 Ahh! That stool's already lucky for me. 121 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,088 Oh, yeah, I'm feelin' it. 122 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,759 Hi. 123 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,461 Wow! That was just right. 124 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,263 Hi, yourself. 125 00:06:03,264 --> 00:06:04,764 Little 411 on me... 126 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,400 I'm more of a Cocoa Puffs guy than Cap'n Crunch. 127 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:10,503 I think Cap'n Crunch is kind of a dick. 128 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:14,274 Like, why is he so cocky, all smug on that box? 129 00:06:14,275 --> 00:06:17,577 He should be an admiral by now. 130 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,212 I'm Nicolette. 131 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,548 I'm Owen. Hey, do you want to go out? 132 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:22,849 I'd love to. 133 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:26,319 Come on, lucky stool. 134 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,921 Big Roy needs some luck. 135 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,360 Check it out! I finally won! 136 00:06:33,361 --> 00:06:36,563 A weekend trip to Maryland! 137 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:39,532 Oh, that's great. You can take your wife. 138 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:42,034 Or... 139 00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:46,306 ...my wife can take her sister, and I can spend the weekend 140 00:06:46,307 --> 00:06:49,609 in my shorty robe watching Turner classics. 141 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,711 - Hey, can I get a beer? - Sure thing. 142 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,780 I could really use some good luck. 143 00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,549 It's been a rough day. My mom's sick in the hospital. 144 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:57,918 - Oh, that's terrible. - Yeah. 145 00:06:59,954 --> 00:07:01,721 Hello? 146 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,155 What? 147 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,960 Oh, my God. 148 00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:08,628 My mother just died. 149 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,297 Oh, I'm so sorry. 150 00:07:10,298 --> 00:07:12,799 See? That stool wasn't so lucky for him. 151 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,035 Yes! 152 00:07:15,036 --> 00:07:17,304 She's dead! 153 00:07:17,305 --> 00:07:19,873 I can finally come out! 154 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:24,543 I'm gay! I'm free! 155 00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,744 2 minutes, $10. 156 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:36,180 Good luck, long time. 157 00:07:36,181 --> 00:07:38,080 You look like me. 158 00:07:39,683 --> 00:07:41,484 You sit for free. 159 00:07:45,656 --> 00:07:47,725 - Cool shoes. - I know. 160 00:07:47,726 --> 00:07:50,194 Yesterday, I sat on the stool, 161 00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,296 and the first emergency call I get, 162 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:55,499 I save this guy's life... Jimmy of Jimmy Choo. 163 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,458 The Jimmy choo? 164 00:07:56,459 --> 00:07:58,993 No, Jimmy Steinberg, his regional sales rep. 165 00:08:00,671 --> 00:08:03,307 I've always loved the shoes, but I could never afford them. 166 00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:04,708 Steinberg gave me these. 167 00:08:04,709 --> 00:08:06,377 - Well, you look hot. - Thanks. 168 00:08:06,378 --> 00:08:07,978 - Super lucky, right? - Really? 169 00:08:07,979 --> 00:08:09,580 You're buying into this whole stool thing? 170 00:08:09,581 --> 00:08:11,949 All I know is I went to work wearing Skechers 171 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,884 and I came home in Jimmy Choos. 172 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,255 Thanks to my lucky bottle cap, 173 00:08:18,256 --> 00:08:19,957 I'm going on a pleasure trip... 174 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:23,427 Driving my wife to the airport. 175 00:08:23,428 --> 00:08:26,963 And that's when I learned you can't chew on batteries. 176 00:08:29,366 --> 00:08:31,368 Oh, Owen, you're such a kidder. 177 00:08:31,369 --> 00:08:33,937 I'm gonna get us drinks. You stay right there. 178 00:08:33,938 --> 00:08:35,673 Wow, looks like you two are hitting it off. 179 00:08:35,674 --> 00:08:37,708 Yeah, I got my game back. 180 00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:40,544 I'm not saying anything stupid. I'm smooth. 181 00:08:40,545 --> 00:08:43,047 That stool is a game-changer. 182 00:08:43,048 --> 00:08:44,715 My blood's rushing to my heart 183 00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:46,849 and not just my bathing-suit place. 184 00:08:47,885 --> 00:08:50,287 Oh, my little boy's becoming a man. 185 00:08:50,288 --> 00:08:52,923 I-I want to go meet her, but I-I just don't want to intrude. 186 00:08:52,924 --> 00:08:54,591 You're his mother. 187 00:08:54,592 --> 00:08:57,628 And you're his best friend, his confidante. 188 00:08:57,629 --> 00:08:59,630 You share a home together. 189 00:08:59,631 --> 00:09:02,232 And that's where it ends, right? 190 00:09:02,233 --> 00:09:05,602 Thank you, Hank. I'll introduce myself. 191 00:09:05,603 --> 00:09:09,440 Hi. I'm Owen's mom. I'm Carol. 192 00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,508 It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Walsh. 193 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,011 I just want you to know I'm not one of those overprotective moms. 194 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,780 I'm very well aware that my son is a grown-up, 195 00:09:16,781 --> 00:09:19,550 so if you ever wanted to spend the night at our house, 196 00:09:19,551 --> 00:09:21,652 - It's totally cool. - Aww! 197 00:09:21,653 --> 00:09:24,788 Thanks, Carol. We're just not really there yet. 198 00:09:24,789 --> 00:09:26,957 Is something wrong with my son, prick tease? 199 00:09:26,958 --> 00:09:29,760 It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's all good. 200 00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:31,862 I'm sorry. I-I guess I'm a little more overprotective 201 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,330 than I thought. 202 00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:35,032 I'd put a clock on that skank. 203 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,433 Nice to meet you. 204 00:09:36,434 --> 00:09:38,569 You too. 205 00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:40,404 Mom, you're wrong about Nicolette. 206 00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,673 She is really nice, and I'm crazy about her. 207 00:09:42,674 --> 00:09:46,977 Well, if you're crazy about her, then I am, too. 208 00:09:46,978 --> 00:09:49,646 I want to let her know how much I like her. How do I do that? 209 00:09:49,647 --> 00:09:51,849 Well, I always like jewelry. 210 00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:53,917 Hey, why don't you give her one of my rings? 211 00:09:53,918 --> 00:09:56,520 This was given to me by a very special man. 212 00:09:56,521 --> 00:09:59,456 It's engraved. "Thanks, Carol. 213 00:09:59,457 --> 00:10:03,626 Love, '78-'79 Steelers." 214 00:10:05,529 --> 00:10:07,898 I'm really happy for you, Owen. 215 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,434 I feel like I'm moving into girlfriend territory. 216 00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:12,636 But just to be sure, I need a quick recharge. 217 00:10:12,637 --> 00:10:15,639 Ahh! Luck, get in my butt. 218 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,675 Hi. I'm Bob fortune. Close enough? 219 00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:25,516 You don't believe in all this luck crap do you, Dad? 220 00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:26,817 Hell no. 221 00:10:26,818 --> 00:10:29,820 But I'd never let your mother know that. 222 00:10:29,821 --> 00:10:33,289 On a full moon, she'll do some of those rituals naked. 223 00:10:35,159 --> 00:10:37,661 She'll sneak up behind me with a candle... 224 00:10:37,662 --> 00:10:39,962 Stop. 225 00:10:41,064 --> 00:10:42,866 It's not what you're thinking. 226 00:10:42,867 --> 00:10:45,502 She'll take the blunt end and wrap it up in duct tape and... 227 00:10:45,503 --> 00:10:48,237 Stop! Seriously! 228 00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,241 Don't touch that stool! 229 00:10:51,242 --> 00:10:53,110 I'm just cleaning it, mom. 230 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,071 No. You're messing up the juju. 231 00:10:55,879 --> 00:10:58,182 Don't even look at it. 232 00:10:58,183 --> 00:11:00,984 "Don't even look at it. Don't touch it." 233 00:11:00,985 --> 00:11:04,121 Ooh! What's gonna happen? 234 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,856 Nothing. 235 00:11:05,857 --> 00:11:08,826 I mean, what happens if I pick it up and throw it in the air? 236 00:11:08,827 --> 00:11:10,694 Nothing! 237 00:11:10,695 --> 00:11:12,830 What happens if I throw it in the air and close my eyes? 238 00:11:12,831 --> 00:11:15,631 Aah! 239 00:11:16,934 --> 00:11:18,934 It breaks. 240 00:11:21,672 --> 00:11:23,774 It's a big day for me, Steve. 241 00:11:23,775 --> 00:11:25,609 Me and Nicolette are on our third date. 242 00:11:25,610 --> 00:11:28,645 I haven't had one of those since never. 243 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,126 Well, that's great, Owen. 244 00:11:31,423 --> 00:11:33,784 Dad, you think Mom's gonna notice it's not the same stool? 245 00:11:33,785 --> 00:11:35,619 It's gonna be fine, kid. 246 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:38,222 And if it isn't, your father's got your back. 247 00:11:38,223 --> 00:11:41,625 Today, I win the lottery. 248 00:11:41,626 --> 00:11:45,327 Chilsungshin, do your stuff. 249 00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:49,867 - It worked. - Wait. 250 00:11:49,868 --> 00:11:51,935 Something's not right. 251 00:11:51,936 --> 00:11:55,138 I'm not feeling the butt tingle. 252 00:11:55,139 --> 00:11:57,608 You sure? It looks like it's tingling to me. 253 00:11:57,609 --> 00:11:59,142 That is not the lucky stool! 254 00:11:59,143 --> 00:12:01,578 Well, sure it is. Right, dad? 255 00:12:01,579 --> 00:12:03,212 Dad. 256 00:12:04,915 --> 00:12:07,751 What did you do to my lucky stool? 257 00:12:07,752 --> 00:12:08,785 Nothing. 258 00:12:08,786 --> 00:12:10,719 What happened to this? 259 00:12:11,788 --> 00:12:15,826 What are you doing with my random wood collection? 260 00:12:15,827 --> 00:12:17,794 No! 261 00:12:17,795 --> 00:12:20,464 Wait. This was the lucky stool? 262 00:12:20,465 --> 00:12:21,798 Steve messed up? 263 00:12:21,799 --> 00:12:24,834 I am now the golden child! 264 00:12:26,169 --> 00:12:28,772 - Susan. - Yes, mom? 265 00:12:28,773 --> 00:12:31,941 What did you do to make Steve break the stool? 266 00:12:33,677 --> 00:12:35,812 I did it. It... it was an accident. 267 00:12:35,813 --> 00:12:37,614 A likely story. 268 00:12:37,615 --> 00:12:40,083 Chilsungshin will have his vengeance. 269 00:12:40,084 --> 00:12:41,285 You will see. 270 00:12:41,286 --> 00:12:43,220 You have cost me the lottery 271 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,789 and... and screwed everyone here. 272 00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:48,258 This stool is a fake! 273 00:12:49,661 --> 00:12:51,528 This bar is doomed. 274 00:12:51,529 --> 00:12:54,698 Get your affairs together. 275 00:12:54,699 --> 00:12:58,001 Oh, wait a minute! Don't listen to her. 276 00:12:58,002 --> 00:12:59,569 We're all fine. Everything's good. 277 00:13:00,972 --> 00:13:03,307 No, we're not fine. 278 00:13:03,308 --> 00:13:05,642 My sister-in-law's sick. 279 00:13:05,643 --> 00:13:08,512 Now I got to go on that trip with my wife. 280 00:13:08,513 --> 00:13:14,116 And so it begins, luck killer. 281 00:13:15,118 --> 00:13:16,920 Melanie, what happened to you? 282 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:20,223 Ugh! I put on my new shoes to take out the garbage. 283 00:13:20,224 --> 00:13:21,758 Who doesn't do that? 284 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:25,295 And I tripped and twisted my ankle. 285 00:13:25,296 --> 00:13:27,698 That's because Steve broke the stool. 286 00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:29,132 Seriously? 287 00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:31,301 You guys are blaming me, th-that breaking the stool 288 00:13:31,302 --> 00:13:35,238 caused a cosmic disturbance that destroyed everybody's good luck? 289 00:13:35,239 --> 00:13:37,808 - Yes! - Give me a break, all right? 290 00:13:37,809 --> 00:13:40,644 A couple of things happen to a couple of people. 291 00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:41,979 It doesn't prove anything. 292 00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,680 What doesn't prove anything? 293 00:13:43,681 --> 00:13:45,816 Steve broke the stool. 294 00:13:45,817 --> 00:13:47,150 - So? What's big deal? - The lucky stool! 295 00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:49,086 Oh, God! What am I gonna do? 296 00:13:49,087 --> 00:13:51,722 I had this great plan where I was gonna surprise Nicolette 297 00:13:51,723 --> 00:13:53,724 by putting the ring in a glass of champagne. 298 00:13:53,725 --> 00:13:55,225 Without the lucky stool, I'm done. 299 00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:56,893 I'm back to no game. 300 00:13:56,894 --> 00:13:59,296 Hey, babe. Hey, sweetie. 301 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,231 Take a seat over there, bro. 302 00:14:01,232 --> 00:14:03,799 I-I mean, girl, thing, person. Over there. 303 00:14:04,568 --> 00:14:06,069 I'm losing it. 304 00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:08,605 Owen, listen to me, all right? 305 00:14:08,606 --> 00:14:11,641 Nicolette doesn't like you because you sat on some stool. 306 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,043 She likes you for you. 307 00:14:13,044 --> 00:14:15,245 Now, you're the same guy you've always been. 308 00:14:15,246 --> 00:14:17,114 Nicolette's gonna love that ring. 309 00:14:17,115 --> 00:14:19,850 Okay. I'll give it a try. 310 00:14:19,851 --> 00:14:22,084 Yeah, buddy. 311 00:14:24,287 --> 00:14:26,757 Hi, there. 312 00:14:26,758 --> 00:14:27,958 Hi back. 313 00:14:27,959 --> 00:14:29,926 So, did you have a good day? 314 00:14:29,927 --> 00:14:31,762 I-I did. 315 00:14:31,763 --> 00:14:34,798 I ate. I lost the remote. I found the remote. 316 00:14:34,799 --> 00:14:36,398 I farted... just now. 317 00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:40,102 Oh, my God. 318 00:14:47,677 --> 00:14:50,147 Uh-oh. 319 00:14:50,148 --> 00:14:53,250 - Are you okay? - I was until you came in. 320 00:14:53,251 --> 00:14:55,252 No, I didn't mean it like that. 321 00:14:55,253 --> 00:14:57,354 I'm sorry. I'm confused. 322 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,923 I-I-I got... I got... I got you a gift. 323 00:14:59,924 --> 00:15:01,858 But now I don't have a gift. 324 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,161 So, now you don't want to give it to me. 325 00:15:04,162 --> 00:15:06,163 I-I do, but I can't. 326 00:15:06,164 --> 00:15:07,798 It's... it's... it's all me. It's not you. 327 00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:09,866 Oh, I know where this is going. 328 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,301 I'll save you the trouble. 329 00:15:11,302 --> 00:15:13,003 - Where are you going? - You just broke up with me. 330 00:15:13,004 --> 00:15:14,104 - No, I didn't. - Yeah. 331 00:15:14,105 --> 00:15:15,705 I did? I didn't mean to. 332 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,841 It's Steve's fault. He broke the lucky stool. 333 00:15:17,842 --> 00:15:19,209 And now you're just freaking me out. 334 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,378 Nicolette, wait. 335 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,880 Great. What am I gonna do now? 336 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,181 You ever been to Maryland? 337 00:15:36,528 --> 00:15:38,663 ♪ my baby's gone ♪ 338 00:15:38,664 --> 00:15:41,765 ♪ and she's never coming back ♪ 339 00:15:42,701 --> 00:15:45,070 ♪ I wanted to give her a ring ♪ 340 00:15:45,071 --> 00:15:47,739 ♪ but I swallowed that bling ♪ 341 00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:51,375 ♪ I got the broken-stool blues ♪ 342 00:15:52,403 --> 00:15:54,245 I haven't seen Owen this bummed out 343 00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:57,782 since the "Blue's Clues" guy went into rehab. 344 00:15:57,783 --> 00:16:00,085 ♪ she's never coming back ♪ 345 00:16:00,086 --> 00:16:02,420 ♪ she's never coming back ♪ 346 00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:07,926 ♪ since that stool went crack ♪ 347 00:16:07,927 --> 00:16:11,162 Owen, I know you're upset, but... but I got some good news. 348 00:16:11,163 --> 00:16:13,031 I called Nicolette. She's on her way over here. 349 00:16:13,032 --> 00:16:14,733 Why would you do that, Steve? 350 00:16:14,734 --> 00:16:17,035 Without the power of the stool, she's never coming back. 351 00:16:17,036 --> 00:16:19,838 Look, I can't replace that stool, but, uh... 352 00:16:19,839 --> 00:16:21,606 But I got something better. 353 00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:24,708 Put your money away. I don't take requests. 354 00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:29,581 Owen, this is not just any coin. 355 00:16:29,582 --> 00:16:33,618 Now, look, this is the most powerful Korean talisman 356 00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:35,419 our family possesses. 357 00:16:36,721 --> 00:16:39,022 It must be. It was made in Taiwan. 358 00:16:40,258 --> 00:16:43,661 And do you know what Taiwan means in Korean? 359 00:16:43,662 --> 00:16:46,598 "Magic." 360 00:16:46,599 --> 00:16:49,499 Awesome. But how do we know if it works? 361 00:16:51,102 --> 00:16:52,303 Hey, what's that? 362 00:16:52,304 --> 00:16:54,871 - Wow! A dollar! - What?! 363 00:16:55,740 --> 00:16:57,976 It works! 364 00:16:57,977 --> 00:16:59,944 Hey, where are you going? 365 00:16:59,945 --> 00:17:01,613 To the 99-cent store to get Nicolette a present... 366 00:17:01,614 --> 00:17:03,715 - A pouf sponge for the shower. - Are you sure, buddy? 367 00:17:03,716 --> 00:17:05,683 It didn't work out so well the last time you got her a gift. 368 00:17:05,684 --> 00:17:08,485 Steve, even I can't swallow a pouf sponge. 369 00:17:10,789 --> 00:17:12,880 Owen, hey, you don't have time. 370 00:17:12,881 --> 00:17:15,382 She's on her way right now. It's all gonna be fine. 371 00:17:15,383 --> 00:17:17,284 As long as I got my lucky coin. 372 00:17:17,285 --> 00:17:19,319 Right. As long as you got your lucky coin. 373 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,400 Thanks, buddy. You're the greatest. 374 00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:27,427 No! 375 00:17:27,428 --> 00:17:29,162 Oh, the lucky coin! 376 00:17:29,163 --> 00:17:30,630 We got to get that back before Nicolette gets here. 377 00:17:30,631 --> 00:17:32,498 Meet you in the sewer. 378 00:17:35,368 --> 00:17:37,304 This place is cool. 379 00:17:37,305 --> 00:17:39,439 How come we never come down here? 380 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,142 'Cause it's a sewer! 381 00:17:42,143 --> 00:17:44,744 Oh, there's something shiny! 382 00:17:44,745 --> 00:17:47,347 Damn, it's just a gum wrapper. 383 00:17:47,348 --> 00:17:49,282 You must really like this girl. 384 00:17:49,283 --> 00:17:51,318 Whoever built this place is a genius. 385 00:17:51,319 --> 00:17:54,054 If you stand here, you can see up ladies' skirts. 386 00:17:54,055 --> 00:17:56,523 Hello, Minnie Mouse panties. 387 00:17:56,524 --> 00:17:58,558 Owen? 388 00:17:58,559 --> 00:18:00,994 Shit! 389 00:18:00,995 --> 00:18:02,462 Nicolette? 390 00:18:02,463 --> 00:18:04,197 - What are you doing in there? - Uh... 391 00:18:04,198 --> 00:18:06,166 Hey, Steve said you wanted to talk to me, 392 00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:08,329 but he didn't mention that you were in a sewer. 393 00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:10,303 I can't do this. 394 00:18:10,304 --> 00:18:12,572 Sure you can. Just... just say something. 395 00:18:12,573 --> 00:18:15,207 What? Words. 396 00:18:16,309 --> 00:18:17,677 Okay. 397 00:18:17,678 --> 00:18:22,281 Nicolette, I'm going to say a few... words. 398 00:18:24,017 --> 00:18:26,653 The guy you've been hanging out with for the last couple days, 399 00:18:26,654 --> 00:18:29,256 he's been full of confidence and luck. 400 00:18:29,257 --> 00:18:32,058 He would know what to say right now. 401 00:18:32,059 --> 00:18:34,294 But that's not the real me. 402 00:18:34,295 --> 00:18:36,463 This is the real me, 403 00:18:36,464 --> 00:18:41,167 a guy who wanted a girlfriend but instead ended up in a sewer. 404 00:18:41,168 --> 00:18:43,703 Sometimes, I say stupid stuff. 405 00:18:43,704 --> 00:18:46,573 I don't have a job. I live with my mom. 406 00:18:46,574 --> 00:18:49,376 And... brace yourself. 407 00:18:49,377 --> 00:18:53,412 I'm horribly lactose intolerant. 408 00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:58,551 But you're honest. 409 00:18:58,552 --> 00:19:01,288 Can't say that about too many guys. 410 00:19:01,289 --> 00:19:02,422 I like it. 411 00:19:02,423 --> 00:19:03,623 Really? 412 00:19:03,624 --> 00:19:05,592 Thanks, Steve. 413 00:19:05,593 --> 00:19:07,961 It turns out I didn't even need a lucky coin. 414 00:19:07,962 --> 00:19:11,530 True. But, uh, looks like I need a lucky tetanus shot. 415 00:19:18,313 --> 00:19:20,893 Owen, this ring is so beautiful. 416 00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:22,595 I'm so glad it was finally off back order. 417 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,029 Tell me about it. 418 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,646 Look how happy he is. 419 00:19:26,647 --> 00:19:29,549 Thank you, Steve. You're such a good friend. 420 00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:32,218 You know, you would think that a boy who breast-fed 421 00:19:32,219 --> 00:19:35,554 until he was 10 years old would have more confidence with women. 422 00:19:37,057 --> 00:19:39,426 Steve, you're not gonna believe this, 423 00:19:39,427 --> 00:19:42,362 but that weekend trip to Maryland with my wife turned out great. 424 00:19:42,363 --> 00:19:43,757 I took her to a seafood buffet. 425 00:19:43,758 --> 00:19:46,866 She ate herself into a crab coma. 426 00:19:46,867 --> 00:19:50,670 Passed right out, didn't try to touch me once. 427 00:19:50,671 --> 00:19:53,506 It was like a second honeymoon. 428 00:19:53,507 --> 00:19:55,393 Well, you see, guys? 429 00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:58,128 Roy's weekend was fine, Owen's got a girlfriend, 430 00:19:58,129 --> 00:20:00,431 and, uh, we all know Melanie's a dork in heels. 431 00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:01,999 Hey! 432 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,233 Just admit it, Mom. 433 00:20:03,234 --> 00:20:04,501 There's no lucky stool. 434 00:20:04,502 --> 00:20:06,170 There was no lucky stool. 435 00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:07,671 Finally. 436 00:20:07,672 --> 00:20:10,541 But then I started to follow Keselowski's trail. 437 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,209 He had a beer. 438 00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:14,078 And what do we all know about beer, 439 00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:16,347 besides the fact that when you water it down, 440 00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:18,097 your customers don't notice? 441 00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:21,251 It goes in, comes out. 442 00:20:21,252 --> 00:20:23,587 So I realized that Chilsungshin's luck 443 00:20:23,588 --> 00:20:26,391 is manifested in this. 444 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:27,858 A urinal cake? 445 00:20:27,859 --> 00:20:31,428 This guy isn't too choosy about where he manifests. 446 00:20:31,429 --> 00:20:34,832 Congratulations. You won the lottery. 447 00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:37,768 Didn't I tell you?! It worked! 448 00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:40,771 Oh, thank you, Chilsungshin! 449 00:20:40,772 --> 00:20:42,806 I give up. She's crazy, right? 450 00:20:42,807 --> 00:20:45,342 Hey, Ok Cha, can I see that urinal cake? 451 00:20:45,343 --> 00:20:47,177 I get it after him. 452 00:20:47,178 --> 00:20:49,513 - Then me. - You want to get lucky? 453 00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,882 20 bucks a chunk. 454 00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:53,482 Oh. 455 00:20:57,354 --> 00:20:59,655 Screw it. I'm in for $40. 456 00:21:01,408 --> 00:21:06,728 Sync and corrections by awaqeded www.addic7ed.com 32713

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