All language subtitles for Scorpion - 04x01 - Extinction.DIMENSION.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

Previously on Scorpion...
(all clamoring, laughing)

Mark Collins? Are you insane?

He was a member of the team,
it didn't work out.

Kicking me off Scorpion--
it was a deep betrayal.

I now pronounce you
husband and wife. (laughs)

Well, it's about
damn time.

We've waited a
long time for this.

Buckle up, nerd.

(typing)

Walter?

Last night was worth
waiting three years for, huh?

How do you feel
this morning?

How do I feel?

I feel like...

♪ I feel like sun is shining ♪

♪ And the birds
are singing ♪

♪ And the high pitch
from its coo tells me ♪

♪ It's English
short-faced pigeon ♪

♪ I feel mighty groovy,
I feel mighty fine ♪

♪ 'Cause you're
sweeter than a pie ♪

♪ Like 3.14159 ♪

♪ I feel just like saying that ♪

♪ The best equation ♪

♪ Is Paige Dineen plus Walter
equals romantic occasion ♪

(needle scratches) Good morning, Walter,
I brought bagels.

No time for bagels.
I'm doing a musical number.

A musical?
Fantastico!

♪ ♪

Whoa, I can't believe it!

All the way
from Portugal,

it's Feliz!

(singing in Portuguese)

♪ When I say I love you ♪

♪ I know
that you mean it ♪

♪ And that is why today I feel
like everything is genius ♪

♪ I love being clean ♪

♪ 'Cause germs
make me squeamish ♪

♪ I'm talented at wrenching ♪

♪ I'm a really good machinist ♪

♪ I so love that you wore that ♪

♪ You know it is
my weakness ♪

♪ Can't believe
we did a musical ♪

♪ It really has been seamless ♪

♪ We're gonna be so happy
with no awkwardness between us ♪

♪ And that's why everything ♪

♪ Is absolutely genius! ♪
♪ Is absolutely genius! ♪

Walter.

Walter.

I asked you

how do you feel this morning?

Sorry.

I feel like...

(phone rings)

Sorry.

Hello.

MALE VOICE:
You are receiving a call from

a federal correctional facility.

Please hold for...

COLLINS:
Mark Collins.

SYLVESTER: Man, is it good
to be back at the Chest.

Ah.

Pale Hawk.
(caws)

And who's this?

Um, Sylvester
the Conquester,

meet Sir Thomas Foolery.

Your reputation precedes you.

Tommy Fargas?

You're my pharmacist.

And is that my Stone of Valor?

Kinda.

You guys replaced me

and took all my accoutrements?

Uh, everyone thought
you were dead.

Look-- we made a shrine.

Oh. Thanks, fellas.

Is that my obituary?

“Sylvester Dudd, 24...”

Dudd. Classic.

Typo.
“...died in a plane crash

“this week.
An enthusiastic fantasy player,

“skilled mathematician,
and more.

He will be missed.”

My life boils down to
“enthusiastic” and “skilled”?

“And more.”
(phone ringing)

Hello, Walter?
Yes, I will

drop Ralph off at school
and be right there.

What is it?
Trouble.

TOBY: Santa Barbara,
here we come. Oh, oh--

is that the bag
with the accoutrements?

Oh, you mean weird outfits

to stimulate your pervert mind?
Yeah.

All packed.
Sweet.

Look, I know it's not
the Tahitian honeymoon

that we hoped for,
and our credit cards are

gonna be bursting at the seams,
but, look, after almost dying

in the South Pacific,
small hotel near the beach--

that's good enough for me.

(phone rings)

Uh, it's Walter.

Don't get it.
It could be work.

That's why I said don't get it.

Hey, what's up?

Are you kidding?

All right, we'll
be there soon.

Our honeymoon's a done-e-moon.

Ga-doy. Why do you think
I'm removing the accoutrements from the car?

It's worse than
missing our trip.

Walt got a call from Collins.

Collins? Why the hell is
Collins calling Walter?

WALTER:
He had...

an Archimedes moment.
A what?

Archimedes is credited
as the first to shout “eureka”

when he discovered a method
for determining gold purity,

(lock buzzes) so when one of us
has a breakthrough,

a real paradigm shift,
it's an Archimedes moment.

Guy's nuts.
I don't care if he

has an Archimedes moment
or a Kodak moment.

He would never sully
intellectual purity

by declaring a
false Archimedes.

So he's been studying
climatological reports,

title charts,
EPA findings,

seismograph readings,

all from his cell,
and he says

he's found something
very dangerous. (clears throat)

Walter.

Thank you for getting here
so quickly.

There is so much to digest
and so little time.

Just so you know--
I have my firearm.

Just in case
there's any nonsense.

What kind of nonsense
would I possibly try to pull?

The last time
that we were together,

you tried to kill Toby.

Oh, yes. That.

That was very uncouth behavior
on my part.

But, in fairness,

I've been through
extensive therapy here,

and it's done wonders.

Between that...

and my research,

it's really allowed
my sanity to flourish.

Speaking of which,

take a look at this.

Crazy-man wallpaper?

Walter, about 20 days
ago, there was a small

3.4 earthquake in
the Arctic Ocean

right near
the Barents Sea.

Now, since then,
temperatures have been rising

a tenth of a degree
a day above the norm.

I've also seen
slightly elevated tides,

slower wind speeds,

and a shift in bird
migration patterns.

WALTER: Mark, over here.
This is very bad.

Archimedes, right?

Soon it'll be
a quarter of a degree a day.

And then a half a degree...
And then,

in a few weeks, crops die off,

species die off,
satellites stop working

because of atmospheric
interference...

COLLINS: The grid overheats,
there's no potable water,

there's widespread wildfires.

I'm taking photos
and sending them to the team.

Someone want to fill me in?

BOTH:
It's an extinction event.

COLLINS:
Simply put,

the earthquake created

these small fissures in the ice.

Methane that
had been trapped

in that very ice
for millions of years

has begun to escape
into the atmosphere, and...

What is this?

You and the waitress.

I knew that would

come to pass.
Get back to your point.

Now, assume
you've done the math.

What is the timeline?

Uh, well, in...

...30 days, half of life
on Earth is gone.

In 90, all of it.

Except for the insects.

Fellas, this is all
hard to swallow.

Are we talking
theory or guarantee?

It's a guarantee.

Unless we plug the methane
cracks in the next seven days.

What's this “we,” pilgrim?

Scorpion can
handle it.

You're a former
team member.

Emphasis on “former.”

But Scorpion can't fix
what it can't locate.

Now, I've already
done the calculations

to take you to the exact spot

in the Arctic that
you need to go to.

You could do those
calculations yourself,

but, as Walter'll tell you,

that'll take about ten days
of intensive algorithms, and...

well, you don't have ten days.
Listen close.

You are not leaving this prison.

WALTER:
Cabe.

He's right.

About what's gonna happen
and how we need him.

Looks like new Collins
is going on a little field trip.

I know it sounds insane,

but you haven't been the
Homeland director long enough

to know that insane
is what Scorpion does.

That's right.

I haven't been director
long enough.

Not long enough
to totally unpack.

Not long enough
to prove myself.

Certainly not long enough to
survive the heat I would get

from letting an attempted
murderer out of prison.

Nothing will happen.

I'll ankle Collins to me.

Digital chain gang.

He gets more than
25 feet from my side,

he gets 50,000 volts.

If he's right
and we do nothing,

the world ends
as we know it.

If Collins plays us,

then a con tricked us
to a few days

on the outside.
Big deal.

Fine.

But if things go sideways,
it will be a big deal.

And it'll be your ass
on the line, not mine.

I'm not happy about this.

The world ending
or Collins getting out?

Both equally bad.

What if Collins
goes after Toby again?

See how she cares about me?
We haven't moved in fully yet,

and I'm not
doing the rest myself.

Huh?

There was no
time for debate.

Collins knows
where the fissures are located.

He holds the cards.

TOBY:
He's right--

Collins has us by the gooty.

What's a gooty?

I'm sorry, it's my new
linguistic experiment.

Remember, I try to bring
back old-timey slang?

Some would say that endeavor
was pure flummery.

Yeah, some would say.
But, sadly, not enough.

So now I'm just trying
to create a single word.

My lexicographical goal

is to get a word added
to the dictionary

simply by releasing it
into common parlance

and seeing if it catches on.

Gooty?
Yeah.

Genitals. Gonads.

If I were to use it
in a sentence, it would be, uh,

“Last night, Walter and Paige

saw each other's...”
We get it.

Understood.

My point is everyone's got 'em.
We all got to deal with it.

You'll see, Walt.
Gooty's gonna stick.

That came out wrong.
(lock buzzes)

Hello, friends!

No friends of yours here.

Happy,
I've emotionally prepared

for your response.

I've had much
psychological treatment

since my incarceration,

something I think
you'd appreciate.

I would've appreciated you
not locking me in a warehouse

with acid dangling over my face.

Yes, well...

we have had
our adventures.

Paige.

I was so delighted

to learn of yours
and Walter's coupling.

Gross.

No, I-I think
it's delightful.

I mean, a-a genius
finding a life mate is...

so very rare.

And for that life mate
to be normal

is even more rare.
And, as everybody knows,

Walter's integrity is far
too high to only be interested

in the carnal,

so it's...

(grunts)
(electrical buzzing)

Is he having a seizure?

He got juiced.

He's got a stun-cuff
on his ankle.

It pops any time
he gets too far away

from the one that's
locked onto my own leg.

Or if he gets too lippy.

And that,
my friend,

was for disrespecting Paige.
Aah...

Point taken.

Paige, I apologize.

I'm still evolving.

Bet you felt that
in the gooty.

Okay, let's get going
back to the garage.

Every minute counts.

(grunts)
I, uh...

Toby, would you mind
scooching a bit?

Lockup has given me
some shared space issues.

Perhaps I should
tie you to a chair

inside a dental floss maze.

Would that be
more amenable?

Not like I didn't apologize.

No, no, you said
we had an adventure.

My intent was obvious.

Your intent was to kill me.

Okay, I want Collins
in the back.

I'm not comfortable
with him next to Toby.

Thank you, darling.

I don't want him
sitting by me either.

Guys...

Guys, how do you think
this makes me feel?

Like an unpopular psychopath.

That's unfair.

If the straitjacket fits!
Enough!

We are dealing with

an extinction event.

Are billions of lives
not stakes enough for you

to act semi-normal for a change?

Good.

Let's buckle up.

(engine starts)

Um...

you feeling okay?

Oh, I feel like everything's
absolutely genius.

♪ Scorpion 4x01 ♪
Extinction
Original Air Date on September 25, 2016

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

COLLINS:
My calculations show that

the methane leak
is actually

coming up through
these two ice walls

in an approximately
15-foot crevasse.

“Crevasse”? We're in
America, say “crevice”.

You sound pretentious.

Okay, wordsmith,
you know the difference between

“crevasse” and “crevice.”

Just let him talk.

Thank you.

So, figure our best bet
is to neutralize the methane.

I thought a nice little
nitrogen hydroxide solution

would do the trick.

Well, we'd need a lot of it.

And a steel drum to hold it in.

And an industrial drill to
bore through the ice fissure,

make the hole big enough
for an I.V.

to feed in nitrogen hydroxide.

I can get us a
military cargo plane

stocked with
whatever you want.

To fly where, exactly?

Yeah, Weirdo Beardo
won't spill the beans.

Oh, yes, we will be going
just outside a remote village

in Northern Norway.

Once there,
we will need

appropriate
transportation.

I'll have Homeland reach out
to the local village.

I'm sure we can
scrounge up

snow terrain vehicles
equipped with

whatever you need
to handle frozen terrain.

Then, all I will need...

is this transistor radio.

We'll pinpoint
the methane,

we'll chemically neuter it,

we'll stop the Earth
from heating up,

and we will save mankind.

Come on, team!

Let's do it!

(electrical buzzing)
(grunts)

(grunts)

(whimpers)

Sorry about that, I, uh...
(laughs)

forgot about the cuff.

Word of advice:

don't forget again.

We've been riding
around for an hour.

What's the plan?

We'll stop soon, just not yet.

Oh, this is great.

We're in the middle
of the tundra

and Collins is trying to
get the ball game.

Actually, Toby, ham radio waves
bounce off the atmosphere.

But their pattern
will be disrupted

by the methane buildup
in the ionosphere.

Literally hear
where the methane is.

TOBY: The whole
reason you got to

tag along is because
you already knew the location.

I know the general area.

I am narrowing.

Just let him concentrate.

Does PANNS mean nothing to you?

Taking his side

violates the “P.”

What the hell's “PANNS”?

Don't.
What do you care?

You just flaunt
all its rules anyway.

PANNS is our marital creed.

This shall be delightful.

“P,”

put your partner first.

“A,” always strive for
a positive state of mind.

“N,” no disparaging

of ideas.

“N,” no lying.

And “S,” SCABOBI.

“SCABOBI”?

“SCABOBI”?
TOBY (over radio): It stands for

“Steady Calm Attitude Brings

Optimal Bliss Inherently.”

Stupidest thing
I ever heard.

We have hacked marriage.

With a simple,
genius five-point tool.

WALTER:
Actually,

it's 11 points: PANN is four

and “SCABOOBI” is
a seven-letter acronym.

“SCABOBI.”

(radio crackles)
Stop!

Stop the vehicle.

(radio crackling)

Okay.

Uh... about 100 yards northeast
and we should have it.

Happy?

Goggles.

Yup, I see the leak.

Mark!
PAIGE: He's running away.

(electrical buzzing)
(Collins groans)

(buzzing stops)

(Collins grunting)

Nice try, jackass.

Now I can add

attempted escape to your jacket.

I'm not escaping, we need to
turn the drum upright.

The nitrogen hydroxide
is leaking!

No, no, no, no. No, no.
Yeah. Yeah.

How did this happen?

Oh, you want to know how?

Those morons packed
the cargo plane for us

with a steel alloy drum.

The chemical ate through it?

I specifically
said pure steel.

Well, that's what I told them.

SYLVESTER: Okay, I'm gonna
make some quick approximations

to see if what we have left
is enough to neutralize

the methane.
Little bit of help?

Yeah, yeah.

(groans)
Talk a sec?

Of course.

PAIGE:
So, uh...

Collins sure is
making things here

a little more
lively than usual, huh?

Yes. I assumed his being here

would stir things up a bit.
Right.

Well, that's why
I'm curious, uh,

why you didn't
check with me first.

Check with you?

Well, I am the...
genius whisperer on the squad.

I'm supposed to manage
what may or may not

knock the gang off-kilter.

So, maybe we could've

discussed it?

Are-are you asking me as...

my girlfriend
or a member of the team?

As a team member, of course.

Yeah, our new relationship
status has no effect

on-on work.

Uh, okay.

Uh, as the founder of Scorpion,

who does and doesn't
get to work on our cases

is 100% my call.

I don't really need to...

check with anyone.

Okay, then.

Yeah. Appreciate the candor.

SYLVESTER:
Okay, so,

based on a rough estimate,

we don't have nearly enough
nitrogen hydroxide

to even make a dent
in a methane pocket

the size that Collins
says we're dealing with.

CABE: So what do we do now?
It's not like we can

drive an hour back to
that Norwegian town

and expect them to have a vat
of the chemicals that we need.

They don't even
have a traffic light.

So where do we get more
nitrogen hydroxide?

We've got tundras
to the east and west of us,

a useless town to the south,

and Barents Sea to the north.
We're screwed.

(stammers excitedly)
Not necessarily. The sea!

That could be our salvation.

The mud at the bottom
of the sea

in that region has
methanoperedens.

It's a bacteria.

It eats methane!

And it gives off H2O and O2,

just like the
hydroxide would've.

And if we mix that

with the nitrogen hydroxide
we have left...

The nitrogen will
feed the bacteria!

Like crops in a garden that
feed off nitrogen in fertilizer.

TOBY:
And the bacteria

will multiply expediently.

And within a day, the methane
will be almost depleted.

WALTER: Okay, guys,
here's the plan: Collins,

Toby, Cabe and I
will take that van,

go collect the bacteria.

Happy, Sly and Paige,

you will drill
a hole in the ice

and get the I.V. ready.

Yeah? Let's go.

It's good to be
back on the team.

You're not on the team.

- I'm kind of on the team.
- No, not really.

Are you following PANNS
antagonizing this jerk?

Happy, that's not very SCABOBI.

Uh, I am trying to A,
always keep a positive

frame of mind.

You can't do that if you
refuse to SCABOBI.

WALTER:
Guys?

Shut up. Let's go.

(motor whirring)

SYLVESTER: Drill a hole, pump it
with bacteria, easy peasy.

Though, it makes me nervous

we don't know how much
methane is leaking

through the fissures now.

HAPPY: It's safe
levels for the time

that we'll be down here.
Trust me.

If it were getting bigger,
you'd be getting loopy.

You gonna be careful
with that thing?

I mean, you're basically
drilling into

a giant ball of explosive gas.

Huh. Like Cabe after jerky.

Really?

I crack one joke a year,
and I get nothing.

I'm sorry,
I've just been thinking.

About a lot of things today.

We're geniuses,

we're always thinking
about a lot of things.

What's bothering you?

Hey!

Watch it.

Sorry.

There's one more
generator cable up here.

(rumbling)

Oh...

Earthquake aftershock.

You guys okay?
HAPPY (over radio): Yeah.

Just a little rumbling.

You guys okay down there?

Yeah, we're fine.

Uh, ladder fell off.

We'll never be able to throw
the hooks back at you.

You're gonna have to grab
the cables and carabiners

from the truck,
tie it to the tow rig,

and pull us up when we're done.

PAIGE:
Okay. I'll get on it.

SYLVESTER:
And the pump came apart.

- We got to do everything over again.
- Good.

Gives us time to talk.

You're down here with me
trying to save the world.

And if your head is somewhere
else other than on task,

we could fail, so spill it,

before I punch you in the gooty.

See? It's catching on.

Okay, I'll tell you, just...
take your comms out.

Okay.

What's your secret?

Today I read my own obituary.

And it was pretty depressing.

Obits aren't really
knee-slappers.

No, I mean it was
short and lame.

And the thing
that hit the most was that

it didn't even mention Megan.

Marrying her was
the most important thing

I ever did in my life.

And after I supposedly died
in a plane crash...

there was no recording of it.

It was like

it never existed.

Like we never existed.

I, um...

I understand why you're upset...

Sorry, I didn't mean
to bring you down.

Start drilling.

(drill powers on)

TOBY:
Uh... according to the GPS,

we're over the sea right now.

Just a quarter mile
from where the ice shelf ends

and the water starts, so the ice
shouldn't be too thick.

We'll only have to lower
the buckets a few feet

to scoop out sea muck, with
all its microbiotic goodness.

Cabe and I will
make a hole right here,

you guys get the buckets ready.

Okay, Paul Bunyan,
let's hit it.

It is so good to be working
with you again, Walter.

And thank you for trusting me.

Believing in my theory.

Not just thinking
I was some crackpot.

Oh, I do think you're
a crackpot.

I also think that
you're brilliant.

And I've weighed
all the factors,

and brilliant beat crackpot
by a... a-a nose.

Well, thank you
for that.

Especially 'cause you seem
to be paying the price for it.

How is that?

Comms.

No, I just meant that I saw
the little tête-à-tête

between you and Paige earlier,

and it looked tense.

It's none of your business.

No, I-I know.
I know it's not.

It's just, when I see
you and Paige,

I see people who need help.

Might be facing an
extinction event of their own.

What do you mean by that?

Walter, it just means that
you have to be very aware

of how different
you and Paige are,

and adjust your
behavior accordingly.

Otherwise, your relationship
is gonna have

the half-life of francium.

22 minutes?

Paige is so sweet
and refreshing.

She's like fruit punch.

And you and your brain

is like a Ferrari engine.

Now, you can't just put
fruit punch in a Ferrari

and expect it to run.

You know?

Anyway, Walter, I'm
only telling you this

because I care deeply
about you.

And I want to see
you and Paige make it.

(drill whirring)

Okay, hole's done.
TOBY (over radio): Yeah.

We're making progress here, too.

Yeah, a few more buckets of
sludge and we should be okay.

I'm almost done with the ropes.

I've attached tire irons
on the ends so you can

stand on them
when I pull you up.

Pretty smart, huh?

HAPPY:
Yeah.

Really good. Needy much?
(chuckles)

You feeling better?

I'm still upset.
But not about Megan.

I'm concerned about
Fruity Moons.

- The cereal?
- The marshmallow bits?

Stars, suns, even little
Jupiters and Plutos.

But they don't have
any moons.

It's false advertising.

Yeah, that is a good point.

You know what?

The box had Jupiter
and Pluto...

but does it have Uranus?

Get it?

Sweetums, ribald humor is not
exactly your milieu.

TOBY: What's going on?

I told my second
joke of the day.

I told my second joke
of the day.

Paige?
Okay, get us up.

Okay, the aftershock must have
opened the fissures wider.

More gas is escaping.

We're suffering from
methane poisoning.

(gasps)
Sly, keep your head on,

and don't let the gas
get you daffy.

In 90 seconds, their
bloodstreams will be saturated

and they'll die.
Walter!

(yells) Toby! Toby!

(faint, echoing):
Toby! Toby!

Toby? Toby!

It's too dark.
He can't find the hole.

Toby! Toby!

He's gone.

W-What do you mean he's gone?

I accidentally
knocked him in,

and the current
pulled him under.

Oh, Collins, you son of a bitch!

WALTER:
Toby!

Toby!

COLLINS: There he is.
Busting up the ice.

Wait, wait. Where? The current
has him moving all over.

Look, if we know where he's
gonna be in a couple seconds,

then we put a hole there.

How much does the
psychiatrist weigh?

He boxed at 168 pounds.

And he moved ten feet
in 2.5 seconds...

And in a parabolic arc
of 8.12...

Which means that in 30 seconds,
he'll be...

BOTH:
There.

Here?

HAPPY: Better fish him out,
O'Brien, damn it!

Everyone, we have a plan.

Paige, what's the ETA

on getting the hysterical bride
out of the hole?

You worry about
your catastrophe,

I'll worry about mine.

There!
He's right on course.

Five seconds.

Put your back into it, Agent!
(Cabe grunts)

He's coming now.
Move it, Cabe!

Where are you going?
Hold my feet.

He's got Toby. Pull.

(all grunting)

(panting)

You pulled me out?

Only a lunatic was
gonna jump in that water.

I was the natural choice.

PAIGE: You'll be topside
in 15 seconds.

(gasps)
I'm falling, I'm falling!

Oh, oh.

Guys, I'm sliding.

No, no. No, no, no.

What's going on up there?
PAIGE: I don't know.

I'm getting no traction.

Okay, the aftershock
must have softened the ice.

Okay, give it
short bursts of gas.

Don't floor it.

(engine revving)

Elevator up.

(gasps)

PAIGE:
You guys okay?

Wait. Uh, wait,
hold on, hold on.

I-I lost my-my wedding ring.

It must have come off when

I was clawing
up against this ice.

Paige, do not stop.

Sly, it is a Band-Aid.
I will get you another.

It had remnants of
my original wedding band.

It's sacred.

HAPPY:
Paige, keep going.

What if you lower me down
for just a second?

I know I can find it.

That cave is full of poison gas.

I don't care.
I need that ring!

What the heck?
Happy?!

Happy!
Happy!

(grunts)

Happy.

(groans)

I slipped off.

Sorry, Pal, not going back in.

Change into those ASAP.

Hate to rush you,
but we still got to

get the bacteria to the crevice.

(door closes)

Let's move that wet jacket.

I, um...

guess I owe you a thanks.

It's the least
I could do.

No, no, the least
you could have done

was let me drown
in the Barents Sea.

That's exactly the behavior
of the old Collins,

not the man you see
in front of you now.

You were telling
the truth.

Or you're a sociopath
who knows how to

circumvent my
brilliant eye.

The bacteria's loaded.

Buckle up.

(engine starts)

(hands rubbing together)

HAPPY: Okay, we are married
for ten minutes,

and you're already
being dumb.

I didn't actually want
to go in the water.

Oh, I love you, too.

(door opens)

(Collins groans)

Whoa, whoa.
Am I about to be struck?

Quick reminder, he's the one
who actually saved me.

He is also the one
who put you in danger.

Accidentally.

Sweetums, you're breaking
the “A” of PANNS.

“Always strive to be in
a positive state of mind”"

Come on, don't let Collins
challenge our marital creed.

It was an accident, kiddo.
I was there.

(whispers): I'm not buying
this “new you” bit.

God, she is terrifying.

We're constructing
gas masks out of

the air filtration system
from the vehicle

so you and Cabe can descend
down to the crevasse

and inject the bacteria
into the methane bubble

and neutralize it.

Make those masks sturdy.

We can't be saving the world
from a bug takeover

debating Fruity Moons.

Okay, I'll start
working on mine.

Cabe, can you
pop the hood?

And, Happy, Sly,

finish on Cabe's.

Can you hold this?

Hmm, you seem...
thoughtful.

Your “hysterical bride” comment,

insinuating that I was
not doing my job

by failing to keep Happy's
genius psyche in balance?

Uh, you're upset because I
critiqued your job performance?

Are you asking as my boyfriend
or as a team member?

Team member.

Um, this boyfriend/girlfriend
thing, i-it's a blurred line,

to say the least.

I-I just...
I never anticipated

these types of problems
would continue

after we got together.

I just think that
we should...

be aware of
potential pitfalls,

just so that we can
continue to, you know,

be... together.

That is very EQ
of you, Walter,

and I agree.

Okay.

Okay.
HAPPY: O'Brien.

Quit your yacking
and get those filters ready.

What are you looking at?

Just an incredible woman.

I just wanted
to congratulate you.

Walter O'Brien
three years ago

versus Walter O'Brien now?

It's like night and day.

Not that you don't still
have a long way to go,

but still, kudos.

Are you done, Mark?
No.

But I'll conclude.

Speaking as one of
his oldest friends,

Walter is like
the fermented fish

that he eats
so obsessively.

He's a... acquired taste

that most people
never fully acquire,

unless you're
a harp seal, which...

(laughs)

Anyway, you can discuss

the emotional divisions
ad nauseam.

Are you a team member,

or are you his girlfriend?
You were listening?

Well, it's a small tundra.

My point is, at the
end of the day,

there is no end of the day.

Whereas you used
to be able to escape

the constantly cerebral with
the occasional baseball player

or Navy SEAL,
now it's just...

fermented fish
with every meal...

forever.

I'm sorry.

Am I being negative?

'Cause I-I don't
mean to be negative.

It's just that, well,

I see you guys and
I'm worried about you.

(rumbling)

Aftershock. Brace yourselves!

The gas generator.

If it falls
into the crevasse

and ruptures near one of
the methane leaks, it could...

Duck!

Oh, this is bad.

Aah!

It could've been worse.

Almost lost a gooty.

HAPPY:
Aah, this is very bad.

Every single gust of wind
pushes the fire

back down
into the methane pocket.

It'll produce an explosion
equivalent to an atomic bomb.

That's us dead, along with half
of Northern Norway.

Not gonna happen.
Walter?

Fire.

We need fire.

I think we have
too much of that.

WALTER:
No, we need to harness it

so we can direct it
to where we want,

like the interior ice wall
of the crevasse.

Melt the wall.

Water flows down into the hole,
dowses the flame.

Killing the flame is great, but
if you blow out an oven burner,

it doesn't mean gas
isn't still escaping.

We're gonna avoid
imminent explosion,

but there's still
gonna be methane

pouring into the atmosphere.

We'll tackle that when
we're not in danger

of being disintegrated.

Oh, oh, oh!

The Arctic vehicle.
It's military surplus.

It has an armored
undercarriage.

Pitch the Arctic truck
into the crevasse,

so it sits over the flame,
redirects it around the sides,

right into the crevasse wall.

Leaving one little issue.

Someone's got to go the driving.

At exactly the right
speed and angle

to pitch the truck into
the crevasse so it sticks.

SYLVESTER:
Miss by a hair

and it topples into the flames.

I'm on the numbers.

This sounds like
a suicide mission.

Not if Cabe rolls out
the driver side door

just before the crevasse.
Thanks for the nomination.

Believe in you, man.

No, the doc's right.

I know how to ditch a car
at 30 miles an hour.

Uh, you're gonna have to go 45.

Okay, guys,
let's get to work.

(grunts)

Careful.

Yeah, I got it.

Okay, we got it.
20% pitch

at 45 miles an hour,
which means you need

to get up to 46
when you ditch out

and the ditch-out spot
needs to be precise.

All right, so mark the ice.
Place a stake in it.

Too big a window
as to when you're gonna hit

45 miles an hour
because of the icy terrain.

The exact moment of ditch

is going to have to be
calculated on the fly.

So, somebody that
knows the numbers

is gonna have to ride with me.

I know the numbers.

Also, if Cabe drives off,

you're gonna be
writhing on the ground

with more juice in you
than Con Ed.

That also factored
into my decision.

Settled.

Collins is shotgun.

(door opens)

WALTER:
The numbers should work.

We accounted for the many
potential variables.

Solid odds for a
successful outcome.

You can do this.

Get out of there
safely, okay?

All right. Thank you.

Watch the wheel
pulling left, old man.

CABE:
Oh, right. Thanks.

- Cabe, I know you can do this.
- All right, buddy.

You guys do know that
I'm going with him, right?

Yup.

(engine starts)

Hold on to your beard!

COLLINS:
Hey.

Angle it three degrees

to your left.

Almost there.

Hold your position.

I hit 46 miles an hour!

We ditch in
three, two, one!

Go!

My cuff is caught!

No! Wait!

Collins isn't jumping.

Jump, you lunatic!

(van crashes)

(electrical buzzing)

(buzzing continues)

I can't believe I'm saying this.

We have to save Mark Collins.

Less than 30 seconds before
Collins is cooked alive.

All those volts
going through him,

he can't even attempt
to climb out!

Grab the grappling rope
and throw it down to me.

Down? Where are you going?

(grunts)

Come on! Move out!
Let's go!

Hurry!
The crevasse wall is melting!

(rumbling)

That truck is gonna fall.

(metal groaning)
Get your foot in there.

Okay.
Pull!

(shouts)

(crashing)

(grunting)

(grunts)

(pants)

You still amped to be
a part of the team?

(laughs)

Keeping an eye on that guy.

He's a bore worm.

He burrowed into
us, into PANNS.

Now I think he's messing
with Walt and Paige.

We should've known
he'd play games.

We should've protected PANNS.

I know, right?

That is the new wave
of marital stability.

It's an unbreakable
contract and bond.

Well, the ketubah's been
around for a thousand years.

Happy, that's a PANNS
violation right there.

CABE:
Thank you, sir.

That was Director Carson.

I downloaded him on
our current situation.

A new drill

is coming in

from the Gulf of Mexico
in 36 hours.

That would suffice.

The collapse of the crevasse

significantly slowed down
the methane release.

It's probably a week till
we're back in the red zone

and we should have all the
necessary chemicals and bacteria

pumped in well before then.

There's no “we.” Them.

Carson has a military
transport waiting at Thule.

He wants wheels up within the
hour with you and me on it.

I'm taking you back to lockup.

Team's gonna stick around
for the next day or so

and wrap things up without us.

Course.

You may be a crazy man...

but what I saw today
showed a lot of guts.

Hey.

Don't go too far.

Been lit up like
Liberace's Christmas tree

one too many times today.

(chuckles)

Well...

it appears I'll be going back
to my federal accommodations.

You guys might not believe
that I've changed.

Y-You don't have to.

But what is important
is that you know

that I care very deeply
about you two.

And it was in that spirit

that I shared the observations
that I did

about your relationship.

I may have overstepped,

but I don't want you to feel
like I was pouring cold water

on a beautiful, new flame.

You couldn't if you tried.

COLLINS:
That's the spirit.

But if there is
any ill feeling...

I apologize.

I'm not used to trying

to be... human.

Mark.

Walter.

Miss Paige.

So, he talked to you, too, huh?

WALTER:
He did.

But he predicted
an extinction event for Earth

and we stopped it, so...

perhaps we can

stop our own extinction event.

Perhaps.

Perhaps we're
too inherently different.

I'm not saying he's right.

I'm just, I'm saying...

he is one of the six
smartest people alive.

He could have a point.

Or maybe he's just...

being a jerk and messing with...
I don't know.

Well, I'm one of the five
smartest people in the world

and I do know.

Not to repeat myself,
but if we can stop

tons of methane
in its tracks, then...

we can make this work.

You really feel that way?

Oh, the truth is, I feel like...

♪ I feel like sun is shining ♪

♪ And the birds are singing. ♪

Sly, come on.
Sing about being squeamish

and cleanliness.
Uh, no.

Walter.

He's jumping for joy.
What a dope.

You have such
beautiful eyes.

What's wrong with you two?

I'm feeling light-headed.

Oh, man.

Okay, shake off
the cobwebs, guys.

Uh...

Methane geysers,
hundreds of them.

Must've opened
in the last aftershock.

Guess we didn't stop the methane
in its tracks.

We don't have a week
to plug up these holes.

This will start warming
the Earth's atmosphere

within hours and then...

Mass extinction.

♪ Not good. ♪

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man