All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls 2016 S01E01 720p WEBRip x264-TheRival

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,401 --> 00:00:09,401 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,287 Please, Luke. Please, please, please. 3 00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:16,747 How many cups have you had this morning? 4 00:00:16,830 --> 00:00:17,706 - None. - Plus? 5 00:00:17,790 --> 00:00:18,999 Five, but yours is better. 6 00:00:19,082 --> 00:00:20,793 I got a kissed. And I shoplifted. 7 00:00:20,876 --> 00:00:21,877 Honestly, Lorelai, 8 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,879 it's not your looks that keep them away. Think about that. 9 00:00:23,962 --> 00:00:27,090 People die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. 10 00:00:27,174 --> 00:00:28,300 People lose a foot, we pay. 11 00:00:28,383 --> 00:00:29,510 At least you have your new slogan. 12 00:00:29,593 --> 00:00:31,637 - Did you do something slutty? - I'm not that happy. 13 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,013 People are particularly stupid today. 14 00:00:33,096 --> 00:00:34,932 - Copper boom! - Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant! 15 00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:36,391 - Luke can waltz? - Luke can waltz. 16 00:00:36,474 --> 00:00:38,226 I just want you to know I'm in. I am all in. 17 00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:40,520 It'd be like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan, 18 00:00:40,604 --> 00:00:41,730 but at least those guys got to be in France. 19 00:00:41,814 --> 00:00:44,441 I am not going to Harvard. I had sex, but I'm not going to Harvard! 20 00:00:44,524 --> 00:00:46,694 I stopped being a child the minute the strip turned pink. 21 00:00:46,777 --> 00:00:47,736 You jump, I jump, Jack. 22 00:00:47,820 --> 00:00:49,988 Eternal damnation is what I'm risking for my rock and roll. 23 00:00:50,072 --> 00:00:51,073 Oy with the poodles already. 24 00:00:51,156 --> 00:00:53,325 Because I love you, you idiot. 25 00:00:53,408 --> 00:00:55,410 I smell snow. 26 00:01:27,985 --> 00:01:29,737 Hey! 27 00:01:30,696 --> 00:01:32,698 That's how you look when you get off a plane? 28 00:01:32,781 --> 00:01:34,032 That's how you say hello? 29 00:01:34,116 --> 00:01:37,535 You've been stuffed in a tin can for seven hours surrounded by people 30 00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:40,998 with consumption, diphtheria, scabies, hummus dip, rabid dogs, 31 00:01:41,081 --> 00:01:44,084 drugged up children attacking your chair, stealing your change. 32 00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:46,754 - What airline are you flying? - You should look drawn and blotchy. 33 00:01:46,837 --> 00:01:49,339 You should be singing "I Dreamed a Dream" with a bad haircut 34 00:01:49,422 --> 00:01:52,175 while selling yourself to a bunch of French dockworkers. 35 00:01:52,259 --> 00:01:54,803 Instead, you look perfect. Admit it. You've been gooped. 36 00:01:54,887 --> 00:01:55,971 I have not been gooped. 37 00:01:56,054 --> 00:01:58,641 You're doing yoga in the aisles in cashmere sweatpants 38 00:01:58,724 --> 00:02:01,602 while your comfort dog watches Zoolander 2 on his watch. 39 00:02:01,685 --> 00:02:03,520 I do blood clot prevention foot pumps 40 00:02:03,604 --> 00:02:05,438 wearing my Yonah Schimmel Knishery baseball cap 41 00:02:05,522 --> 00:02:07,149 while toothpaste dries up a zit on my chin. 42 00:02:07,232 --> 00:02:08,400 Wow! Winded! 43 00:02:08,483 --> 00:02:10,110 - Haven't done that for a while. - Felt good. 44 00:02:12,613 --> 00:02:15,365 - I've missed you, kid. - Missed you, too. 45 00:02:15,449 --> 00:02:18,201 - How long's it been? - Feels like years. 46 00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:23,123 - Coffee and tacos. - Princess Charlotte iced tea spoons. 47 00:02:23,206 --> 00:02:24,499 Mmm! 48 00:02:24,582 --> 00:02:26,334 All right, shall we get it out of the way? 49 00:02:26,418 --> 00:02:27,628 Might as well. 50 00:02:28,170 --> 00:02:30,714 One day? That's all? 51 00:02:30,798 --> 00:02:32,090 I'm sorry! 52 00:02:32,174 --> 00:02:36,303 You miss Christmas and Thanksgiving and all I get is a one day visit? 53 00:02:36,386 --> 00:02:37,595 What am I, chopped liver? 54 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,682 I have to be on the red-eye to London tomorrow. 55 00:02:39,765 --> 00:02:41,516 - London again. - For work. 56 00:02:41,599 --> 00:02:43,727 ♪ And the cat's in the cradle And the silver spoon ♪ 57 00:02:43,811 --> 00:02:46,229 - Oh, now, Emily. - Oh, wow! Nicely played. 58 00:02:46,313 --> 00:02:47,230 All right, you win. 59 00:02:47,314 --> 00:02:49,399 We have limited time. Should we skip the town tour? 60 00:02:49,482 --> 00:02:52,444 - We can't skip the town tour. - Well, we'll keep it short. 61 00:02:52,527 --> 00:02:55,072 - Le Chat Club closed due to rats. - Again? 62 00:02:55,155 --> 00:02:57,324 - We got parking meters. - Where? 63 00:02:57,407 --> 00:02:58,951 No one would pay so they took them out. 64 00:02:59,034 --> 00:03:00,118 This town is mob ruled. 65 00:03:00,202 --> 00:03:03,080 Al's Pancake World won best Christmas decorations again. 66 00:03:03,163 --> 00:03:05,040 It's that nativity scene with eggplant Jesus. 67 00:03:05,123 --> 00:03:07,042 - You can't beat it. - There's a debate 68 00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:08,711 about taking the phone booth out. 69 00:03:08,794 --> 00:03:09,961 Where would Superman change 70 00:03:10,045 --> 00:03:11,880 when he comes to save our town from Ben Affleck? 71 00:03:11,963 --> 00:03:14,841 - I made the same excellent point. - What's with the signs? 72 00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:16,509 Ooh, I saved the best for last. 73 00:03:16,593 --> 00:03:20,097 Taylor has decided that septic systems are beneath us 74 00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:23,183 - and he wants to go full-on sewer. - How can we do that? 75 00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:27,730 He's going door to door collecting people's septic tank horror stories. 76 00:03:27,813 --> 00:03:29,689 - Oh, Lord! - Then, he'll compile them, 77 00:03:29,773 --> 00:03:34,778 then he and a panel will stage testimonial re-enactments for the county assessor. 78 00:03:34,862 --> 00:03:36,654 Are you telling me this to get me to stay longer? 79 00:03:36,739 --> 00:03:37,823 - Is it working? - Kind of. 80 00:03:37,906 --> 00:03:39,116 Hi, Miss Patty! 81 00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:42,744 Rory! You look fabulous! 82 00:03:42,828 --> 00:03:44,496 She just got off a plane! 83 00:03:44,579 --> 00:03:46,289 Oh! That's my work phone. 84 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,335 - It's not ringing. - Yeah, I know. 85 00:03:50,418 --> 00:03:51,669 - It's not ringing, either. - I know. 86 00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:54,673 - You've got more burners than Omar Little. - I got a personal phone, a work phone, 87 00:03:54,757 --> 00:03:57,384 and the phone that gets reception in Stars Hollow. Theoretically. 88 00:03:57,467 --> 00:04:00,137 The fact that the entire town was actually constructed 89 00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:03,390 in a giant snow globe probably has an effect on your bar count. 90 00:04:03,473 --> 00:04:04,850 Ha! 91 00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:07,560 Hello? Hello? Um... 92 00:04:07,644 --> 00:04:09,187 Damn! Hello? 93 00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:11,481 You're breaking up. 94 00:04:12,149 --> 00:04:13,525 Oh, come on. 95 00:04:14,526 --> 00:04:16,779 Hello? 96 00:04:16,862 --> 00:04:19,239 Hold on! Hello? 97 00:04:19,322 --> 00:04:21,909 Crap! Hello? 98 00:04:21,992 --> 00:04:24,161 Hi, can you hear me now? Can you hear me... 99 00:04:24,244 --> 00:04:25,662 Yes! Hi! Great! 100 00:04:25,746 --> 00:04:28,165 Um, so, how are you? 101 00:04:28,248 --> 00:04:30,083 Hello? 102 00:04:30,167 --> 00:04:33,796 I'm heading to the trees! I'm... I'm heading to the trees. 103 00:04:33,879 --> 00:04:36,757 Okay, I'm at the trees. Hello? Hello? 104 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,927 I'm gonna try Doose's. You coming? 105 00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:41,594 - Nah! I just hit my steps. - Okay. 106 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,222 Um, hello? 107 00:04:44,306 --> 00:04:46,975 Are you still there? Okay, flip phone! 108 00:04:49,561 --> 00:04:53,315 Hi! Sorry, it's Rory Gilmore again. I think Ingrid just... 109 00:04:53,398 --> 00:04:55,692 Hello? Hello? 110 00:04:56,193 --> 00:04:57,569 Hello? Crap! 111 00:04:58,695 --> 00:04:59,821 Hello? 112 00:05:00,238 --> 00:05:01,448 Hello? 113 00:05:01,531 --> 00:05:03,867 Oh, yes! Sure, she can. 114 00:05:03,951 --> 00:05:05,702 Okay, on this number, please. Thank you. 115 00:05:05,786 --> 00:05:08,121 Rory! Hey! I didn't know you were coming in today. 116 00:05:08,205 --> 00:05:10,165 Oh, it's just a super quick in and out. 117 00:05:10,248 --> 00:05:12,250 - Cabbage. - What? Oh. 118 00:05:13,376 --> 00:05:14,419 Come again. 119 00:05:14,502 --> 00:05:16,546 Um, so tell me, what is going on with you? 120 00:05:16,629 --> 00:05:18,340 - Oh, you don't wanna know. - Uh-oh. 121 00:05:18,423 --> 00:05:20,926 - Yeah, Zach got a promotion. - My God! Why? 122 00:05:21,009 --> 00:05:22,970 - I don't know. I think they like him. - Poor guy. 123 00:05:23,053 --> 00:05:25,638 Yeah, he's a route supervisor now. Has to wear a tie. 124 00:05:25,722 --> 00:05:27,933 - I'm so sorry. - It's fairly devastating. 125 00:05:28,016 --> 00:05:29,767 I tell him he looks like a young Leonard Cohen, 126 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:30,977 but he looks like his dad. 127 00:05:31,061 --> 00:05:32,187 Sorry. 128 00:05:32,270 --> 00:05:34,606 - Yeah. - Hello? Oh, Ingrid. Finally! 129 00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:37,984 It's so good to finally connect. 130 00:05:39,361 --> 00:05:41,363 Lorelai, I'm glad I ran into you. 131 00:05:41,446 --> 00:05:44,116 - Your house is that way, Kirk. - I did not get lost again. 132 00:05:44,199 --> 00:05:46,952 I wanted you to know that I've started a new business. 133 00:05:47,035 --> 00:05:50,121 It's a ride share business. I call it Ööö-ber. 134 00:05:50,205 --> 00:05:52,790 Uh-oh. There's already an Uber, Kirk. 135 00:05:52,875 --> 00:05:56,461 No, not Uber. Ööö-ber. Three "O's" instead of a "U." 136 00:05:56,544 --> 00:05:58,796 - Okay, but it's, uh... - Ööö-ber. 137 00:05:58,881 --> 00:06:01,174 - Right. But it's the... - Ööö-ber. 138 00:06:01,258 --> 00:06:04,677 It's a service where people can request a ride and I will pick them up. 139 00:06:04,761 --> 00:06:07,805 - Like Uber. - Except it's Ööö-ber. 140 00:06:07,890 --> 00:06:08,974 It's the same thing. 141 00:06:09,057 --> 00:06:10,683 - No, it's not. - Kirk. 142 00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:12,227 People use an app to call a car. 143 00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:14,312 - I have no app. - Then how do they get a car? 144 00:06:14,396 --> 00:06:17,440 They call my mother, she calls me, I find a car and I pick them up. 145 00:06:17,524 --> 00:06:20,735 - So it's a much worse version of Uber. - And it's pronounced Ööö-ber. 146 00:06:20,819 --> 00:06:23,822 - Stop making that sound. - All right. You've got my mom's number. 147 00:06:23,906 --> 00:06:25,949 Now if you'll excuse me... 148 00:06:26,032 --> 00:06:28,410 - it is past Petal's bedtime. - Bye, Petal. 149 00:06:31,621 --> 00:06:32,789 When did Kirk get a pig? 150 00:06:32,872 --> 00:06:35,208 Babette heard him and Lulu talking about having a baby, 151 00:06:35,292 --> 00:06:38,044 so the whole town chipped in. It bought us a couple of years. 152 00:06:38,128 --> 00:06:39,379 - Very smart. - Ready? 153 00:06:39,462 --> 00:06:40,713 Hold on. 154 00:06:40,797 --> 00:06:44,842 I'm not really home till I get my Stars Hollow Gazette. 155 00:06:44,927 --> 00:06:46,011 Christmas edition. 156 00:06:46,094 --> 00:06:49,932 Manger news, Santa's wishes, eggnog checkpoints, and... 157 00:06:50,015 --> 00:06:51,224 the Christmas poem. 158 00:06:51,308 --> 00:06:53,560 - Same one every year. - Every single year. 159 00:06:53,643 --> 00:06:55,103 So good to be home. 160 00:06:56,771 --> 00:06:58,941 What? 161 00:06:59,024 --> 00:07:00,525 I smell snow. 162 00:07:15,290 --> 00:07:17,542 ♪ Nothing looks so pretty as ♪ 163 00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:19,962 ♪ The winter stars a-glittering ♪ 164 00:07:20,045 --> 00:07:23,590 ♪ Shining on a freshly fallen snow ♪ 165 00:07:24,549 --> 00:07:27,469 ♪ When the blue light of the moon ♪ 166 00:07:27,552 --> 00:07:31,056 ♪ Is giving off a loving winter glow ♪ 167 00:07:34,517 --> 00:07:37,145 ♪ Such a tender feeling when ♪ 168 00:07:37,229 --> 00:07:39,606 ♪ The candlelight a-flickering ♪ 169 00:07:39,689 --> 00:07:43,901 ♪ The ember window calls you home ♪ 170 00:07:43,986 --> 00:07:47,072 ♪ And the fireplace is crackling ♪ 171 00:07:47,155 --> 00:07:51,034 ♪ And giving off a warming winter glow ♪ 172 00:07:52,119 --> 00:07:56,873 ♪ Summer with its nights That last forever has its charm ♪ 173 00:07:56,957 --> 00:08:00,168 ♪ Fall with golden leaves That gather, too ♪ 174 00:08:01,669 --> 00:08:06,633 ♪ Spring is all the brighter After rip storms have blown ♪ 175 00:08:06,716 --> 00:08:10,387 ♪ But winter has a magic of its own ♪ 176 00:08:18,645 --> 00:08:20,230 - Got it? - Yup. 177 00:08:22,149 --> 00:08:23,150 Are you sure? 178 00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:26,736 - Oh, yes. - Come on. Let's get in out of the snow! 179 00:08:26,819 --> 00:08:28,113 Let's go! 180 00:08:31,992 --> 00:08:34,369 Luke's gonna be so excited to see you. 181 00:08:34,452 --> 00:08:36,663 I can't wait to see him. 182 00:08:39,707 --> 00:08:42,044 Hello, Rabbi. 183 00:08:42,127 --> 00:08:44,504 Oh, Paul Anka, what is she making you wear now? 184 00:08:44,587 --> 00:08:46,006 No, no. This one was his idea. 185 00:08:46,089 --> 00:08:48,300 Aw, don't feel bad. She did the same thing to me. 186 00:08:48,383 --> 00:08:49,967 - Okay, get ready. - For what? 187 00:08:50,052 --> 00:08:51,511 - Super-proud Luke. - What? 188 00:08:51,594 --> 00:08:54,472 Luke! It's a Christmas miracle! 189 00:08:54,556 --> 00:08:57,309 - Ah! There she is, the New Yorker writer! - Super-proud! 190 00:08:57,392 --> 00:08:58,935 It was just one Talk of the Town piece. 191 00:08:59,019 --> 00:09:00,603 Oh, one Talk of the Town piece? Come on. 192 00:09:00,687 --> 00:09:02,772 It was terrific. And that woman you wrote about... 193 00:09:02,855 --> 00:09:05,192 - Naomi Shropshire. - Yes! I've never heard of her. 194 00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:07,360 - Now I feel like I've met her. - I appreciate that. 195 00:09:07,444 --> 00:09:10,113 I've never read the New Yorker before, but now, every week. 196 00:09:10,197 --> 00:09:11,239 I'm glad. 197 00:09:11,323 --> 00:09:13,241 I subscribed to it. Who says print is dead? 198 00:09:13,325 --> 00:09:15,952 - Only the world. - Well, what does the world... 199 00:09:16,036 --> 00:09:17,662 - You're eating? - Just tacos. 200 00:09:17,745 --> 00:09:19,581 - Tacos are tiny. - I'm making dinner. 201 00:09:19,664 --> 00:09:20,915 - Wow. So I'm fat? - What? 202 00:09:20,998 --> 00:09:22,542 - Body shaming. - I am not body shaming. 203 00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:24,336 - Trigger warnings! - Oh, for Christ's sake. 204 00:09:24,419 --> 00:09:26,671 - War on Christmas! - I am making two main courses 205 00:09:26,754 --> 00:09:28,465 because you told me to make two main courses. 206 00:09:28,548 --> 00:09:31,008 - What two main courses? - Mac and cheese, parmesan cutlets... 207 00:09:31,093 --> 00:09:32,760 - With garlic bread? - And tater tots! 208 00:09:32,844 --> 00:09:33,928 I am not making tater tots. 209 00:09:34,011 --> 00:09:35,388 - Why not? - We need sustenance! 210 00:09:35,472 --> 00:09:37,682 - You're eating tacos! - Tater tots go great with tacos. 211 00:09:37,765 --> 00:09:39,142 Tater tots are great in tacos. 212 00:09:39,226 --> 00:09:40,310 - Yes! - No! 213 00:09:40,393 --> 00:09:41,769 - Hey! I mean it! - They're organic. 214 00:09:41,853 --> 00:09:43,230 All right, negotiation's over! 215 00:09:43,313 --> 00:09:45,440 Put the tater tots back, finish your tacos, 216 00:09:45,523 --> 00:09:47,234 wash your hands, dinner's almost ready! 217 00:09:47,317 --> 00:09:48,943 Ah! And I saw you grab those mini donuts. 218 00:09:49,026 --> 00:09:50,237 Put 'em down right now. 219 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,780 I cannot believe the conversations I have in this room. 220 00:09:52,864 --> 00:09:54,782 I thought cooking was supposed to be relaxing. 221 00:09:54,866 --> 00:09:55,992 Oh, no. 222 00:09:56,076 --> 00:09:58,911 Don't put that song on and disappear into Rory's room. Hey! 223 00:09:58,995 --> 00:10:00,037 At least turn it down! 224 00:10:00,122 --> 00:10:01,623 - Did my boxes get here? - Behind the rack. 225 00:10:01,706 --> 00:10:02,707 Great! 226 00:10:02,790 --> 00:10:06,878 So, you finally did it, huh? Finally gave up the Brooklyn pad? 227 00:10:06,961 --> 00:10:09,839 I did. Lena Dunham will just have to get along without me. 228 00:10:09,922 --> 00:10:11,508 - Are you gonna miss it? - A little. 229 00:10:11,591 --> 00:10:12,717 I'm gonna miss it. 230 00:10:12,801 --> 00:10:16,888 It had that early American tenement shtetl slash Trainspotting vibe 231 00:10:16,971 --> 00:10:19,015 that every mother wants for her little girl. 232 00:10:19,099 --> 00:10:20,892 It was a perfectly decent apartment. 233 00:10:20,975 --> 00:10:24,020 I liked how you had to avoid the walls or you'd stick to them. 234 00:10:24,104 --> 00:10:26,063 - One wall. - See, in some apartments, 235 00:10:26,148 --> 00:10:27,690 you don't have to avoid any walls. 236 00:10:27,774 --> 00:10:29,942 It was a great place. I just was never there. 237 00:10:30,026 --> 00:10:32,154 Do you know how many nights I spent there this year? 238 00:10:32,237 --> 00:10:33,780 - Three? Eighteen? - No. No. 239 00:10:33,863 --> 00:10:35,198 - Forty-six? - No. 240 00:10:35,282 --> 00:10:38,493 Is this The Price is Right? If I'm a little under I win, over, I lose? 241 00:10:38,576 --> 00:10:40,453 I don't know exactly how many nights, okay? 242 00:10:40,537 --> 00:10:42,747 It was not a lot. Now the building's going condo. 243 00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:45,958 I'm not ready to buy a condo, so it seemed like the time to say... 244 00:10:46,042 --> 00:10:47,835 - Bye-bye, Brooklyn. - Bye-bye, Brooklyn. 245 00:10:47,919 --> 00:10:49,296 This box is open. 246 00:10:49,379 --> 00:10:51,964 - Damn that TSA! - Really? You went through my stuff? 247 00:10:52,048 --> 00:10:55,177 I did. And I must say, I found it very disappointing. 248 00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:57,011 You found my personal items disappointing? 249 00:10:57,094 --> 00:10:58,930 I thought there'd be something fun in there, 250 00:10:59,013 --> 00:11:01,933 like a treasure map or the prequel to Huckleberry Finn 251 00:11:02,016 --> 00:11:04,852 where Huck is a Klan leader and terrified of water. 252 00:11:04,936 --> 00:11:06,479 I think it's kind of exciting, you know? 253 00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:08,606 No apartment, no rent, no ties. 254 00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:10,483 I could crash here, I could crash at Lane's. 255 00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:15,238 I feel like this is my time to be rootless and just see where life takes me, 256 00:11:15,322 --> 00:11:18,157 and travel wherever there's a story to write. 257 00:11:18,241 --> 00:11:20,285 I just wish I had remembered to label my boxes 258 00:11:20,368 --> 00:11:22,287 because now I know where nothing is. 259 00:11:22,370 --> 00:11:24,289 My boots, my coats, my underwear... 260 00:11:24,372 --> 00:11:26,999 - You don't know where your underwear is? - Could be at Lane's. 261 00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:29,126 You've been without your underwear since you moved? 262 00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:30,127 Don't judge. 263 00:11:30,212 --> 00:11:32,589 I'm Gwen freakin' Stefani. Want to borrow some underwear? 264 00:11:32,672 --> 00:11:35,967 I'd like to stop talking about underwear. I'm looking for my lucky outfit. 265 00:11:36,050 --> 00:11:39,011 Any outfit you wear without underwear will be your lucky outfit. 266 00:11:39,095 --> 00:11:41,013 I have a big meeting with Condé Nast 267 00:11:41,097 --> 00:11:43,891 and I have this look that makes me feel like Diane Sawyer. 268 00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:45,184 Is it a Mike Nichols mask? 269 00:11:45,268 --> 00:11:46,978 I'll get it! 270 00:11:47,061 --> 00:11:48,062 What's this? 271 00:11:48,145 --> 00:11:51,858 Oh! That is a box of New Yorker magazines with your fancy piece in it. 272 00:11:51,941 --> 00:11:53,109 Box one of six. 273 00:11:53,192 --> 00:11:54,944 - You're kidding. - Super-proud! 274 00:11:55,027 --> 00:11:56,363 Hey, that guy's here. 275 00:11:56,446 --> 00:11:59,115 - What guy? - You know... uh, Jeffrey. 276 00:11:59,198 --> 00:12:00,825 - Who? Who? - Allen? Billy? 277 00:12:00,908 --> 00:12:03,202 There's nothing remotely similar about those names. 278 00:12:03,286 --> 00:12:05,538 - You know. Him. Your guy. - Paul? 279 00:12:05,622 --> 00:12:06,998 - Paul. Yes, Paul. - Paul's not here. 280 00:12:07,081 --> 00:12:08,207 - Paul's here. - Who's Paul? 281 00:12:08,291 --> 00:12:12,003 Paul, my... Paul, my boyfriend? Oh, crap! Paul is here! 282 00:12:12,086 --> 00:12:13,796 - Why is Paul here? - I invited him for dinner, 283 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:17,759 and I totally forgot. Crap, crap, crap! 284 00:12:17,842 --> 00:12:20,220 I can't believe you forgot Rory's boyfriend Paul. 285 00:12:22,179 --> 00:12:23,806 You came. 286 00:12:23,890 --> 00:12:25,725 Of course I came. 287 00:12:26,976 --> 00:12:28,853 - For you. - So beautiful. 288 00:12:28,936 --> 00:12:32,148 - And indigenous to Peru. Fun fact. - So fun. 289 00:12:32,231 --> 00:12:35,234 - Hey. Look who's here. - Paul! Wow! 290 00:12:35,318 --> 00:12:36,444 - So good to see you. - You, too. 291 00:12:36,528 --> 00:12:38,655 - Thank you for the invite. - Is your hair different? 292 00:12:38,738 --> 00:12:40,156 - Uh, no. - Lose some weight? 293 00:12:40,239 --> 00:12:41,616 - Nope. - Gain some weight? 294 00:12:41,699 --> 00:12:43,117 I'm going to put these in water. 295 00:12:43,201 --> 00:12:44,911 - Come on, Paul. - Yes, I will follow. 296 00:12:47,747 --> 00:12:49,040 I've never seen that boy before. 297 00:12:49,123 --> 00:12:50,583 - See? - They've been together for months. 298 00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:52,335 - I think it's been a year. - He's been to the house! 299 00:12:52,419 --> 00:12:53,420 I know! 300 00:12:53,503 --> 00:12:56,255 He's like a superhero, but his power is that you can't remember him 301 00:12:56,339 --> 00:12:57,507 no matter how much time you spend with him. 302 00:12:57,590 --> 00:12:59,592 Kind of like every Marvel movie ever. 303 00:13:00,343 --> 00:13:01,636 - Care for something to drink, Pete? - Paul. 304 00:13:01,719 --> 00:13:02,887 Paul. I'm... 305 00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:05,932 Pete is our, uh, dog's friend. Our dog's name is Paul. 306 00:13:06,015 --> 00:13:07,892 - Last name Anka. - Weirdly close to my last name. 307 00:13:07,975 --> 00:13:10,853 - Right. Very close. - This is all I could find. 308 00:13:10,937 --> 00:13:11,938 - That'll do. - Okay. 309 00:13:12,021 --> 00:13:13,105 - Red okay... - Paul. 310 00:13:13,189 --> 00:13:15,942 - I got it now. Paul, red, Paul? - Red sounds good. 311 00:13:16,025 --> 00:13:17,652 - Oh, hey, Luke. - Yeah. 312 00:13:17,735 --> 00:13:19,236 - I brought it. - You... 313 00:13:19,321 --> 00:13:22,198 The antique wrench we talked about the last time I was here. 314 00:13:22,281 --> 00:13:23,450 - Remember? - Uh-huh. 315 00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:24,742 We went fishing on your boat. 316 00:13:24,826 --> 00:13:27,244 You told me your dad owned a hardware store. Now it's a diner. 317 00:13:27,329 --> 00:13:29,331 I told you my grandfather owned a hardware store 318 00:13:29,414 --> 00:13:30,582 and I kept all of his tools? 319 00:13:30,665 --> 00:13:31,749 I remember the boat. 320 00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:33,626 You said your dad had a wrench that he loved 321 00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:34,836 and you wish you'd kept it. 322 00:13:34,919 --> 00:13:37,129 My grandfather also had one that he loved and I did keep it. 323 00:13:37,213 --> 00:13:39,006 I'll go get it. 324 00:13:39,090 --> 00:13:41,300 I just forgot the entire conversation we just had. 325 00:13:41,384 --> 00:13:43,010 Come on, guys. 326 00:13:43,094 --> 00:13:45,012 Thanks for inviting me over, by the way. 327 00:13:45,096 --> 00:13:46,848 I don't get to see a lot of Rory these days. 328 00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:49,851 At least I get to see her for our anniversary, which is great. 329 00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:51,811 Can you believe it's two years? 330 00:13:51,894 --> 00:13:53,813 The cotton anniversary. 331 00:13:53,896 --> 00:13:56,441 Okay, I got it. Here we go. 332 00:13:56,524 --> 00:13:59,694 Here it is. Look at the, uh, date on the back. 333 00:14:00,403 --> 00:14:02,238 - Oh! And Lorelai... - Huh? 334 00:14:03,155 --> 00:14:04,949 The virus protection software I told you about. 335 00:14:05,032 --> 00:14:06,451 Want me to pop it on your computer? 336 00:14:06,534 --> 00:14:08,160 - Where is it? All right. - Living room. 337 00:14:08,244 --> 00:14:10,455 It's got the Sadness stickers from Inside Out on it? 338 00:14:10,538 --> 00:14:12,790 - You remembered. - Okay. 339 00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:16,878 - It's nice that he remembered. - It's nice that somebody remembered. 340 00:14:16,961 --> 00:14:18,588 This is a very nice wrench. 341 00:14:22,174 --> 00:14:24,552 - What the hell did you do here? - What? 342 00:14:24,636 --> 00:14:26,471 The DVR is completely full. 343 00:14:26,554 --> 00:14:29,098 I have no idea what any of these things are. 344 00:14:29,181 --> 00:14:31,601 Restless Virgins, Deadly Honeymoon... 345 00:14:31,684 --> 00:14:32,894 Lifetime Movie Channel classics. 346 00:14:32,977 --> 00:14:35,021 Killer Crush, Mini's First Time. 347 00:14:35,104 --> 00:14:37,815 A rebellious girl hooks up with an escort agency 348 00:14:37,899 --> 00:14:40,943 where her stepfather is a client. Alec Baldwin. Pre-yoga. 349 00:14:41,027 --> 00:14:42,278 - So, keep? - Keep. 350 00:14:42,362 --> 00:14:44,447 - Okay. Accidental Obsession. - Keep. 351 00:14:44,531 --> 00:14:46,073 - Murder in a College Town. - Keep. 352 00:14:46,157 --> 00:14:47,283 - Crimes of the Mind. - Keep! 353 00:14:47,367 --> 00:14:51,496 Fatal Acquittal, Not With My Daughter, Baby Sellers, Unfinished Betrayal, 354 00:14:51,579 --> 00:14:53,915 The Girl He Met Online, The Boy He Met Online, 355 00:14:53,998 --> 00:14:56,250 Deadly Vows, Lying Eyes, Lies He Told, 356 00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:57,585 My Nanny's Secret. 357 00:14:57,669 --> 00:14:59,837 Did the remote break? Do we only get one channel now? 358 00:14:59,921 --> 00:15:01,798 - Where's my pajamas? - In the drawer. 359 00:15:01,881 --> 00:15:03,508 - Ugh. Felix... - Oscar... 360 00:15:03,591 --> 00:15:06,553 I like my pajamas on the chair, all crinkled up and ready for bed, 361 00:15:06,636 --> 00:15:07,720 not suffocating in a drawer. 362 00:15:07,804 --> 00:15:09,305 Your pajamas are not puppies. 363 00:15:09,389 --> 00:15:11,474 You should find my bedtime rituals endearing by now. 364 00:15:11,558 --> 00:15:12,725 What's taking you so long? 365 00:15:12,809 --> 00:15:15,186 You know, I still can't get over that piece Rory wrote. 366 00:15:15,269 --> 00:15:18,272 Oh, really? 'Cause you've been so stingy with your praise. 367 00:15:19,065 --> 00:15:20,357 Are those... 368 00:15:20,442 --> 00:15:22,318 - Puppies! - Right. 369 00:15:25,279 --> 00:15:28,365 - That is one great kid you got. - Eh, she's all right. 370 00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,993 She's freaked out she's gonna hear our rollicking lovemaking. 371 00:15:31,077 --> 00:15:35,289 - What are you doing? - Organizing my magazines by Kardashian. 372 00:15:35,372 --> 00:15:37,374 - You're stalling. - I'm organizing. 373 00:15:37,459 --> 00:15:39,376 You're not going to have your dream tonight. 374 00:15:39,461 --> 00:15:42,129 My dirty bathroom dream? Yes, I am. 375 00:15:42,213 --> 00:15:43,631 Just come to bed! 376 00:15:43,715 --> 00:15:45,633 Five nights in a row. Five nights in a row! 377 00:15:45,717 --> 00:15:48,219 I'm looking for a bathroom and then I find one 378 00:15:48,302 --> 00:15:50,430 and it's like the Eastern Promises steam room scene, 379 00:15:50,513 --> 00:15:52,348 only the stuff on the walls ain't blood. 380 00:15:52,432 --> 00:15:55,226 - Don't think about it. - The bathrooms are all giant. 381 00:15:55,309 --> 00:15:57,269 There's stalls and urinals, urinals, urinals... 382 00:15:57,353 --> 00:15:58,270 It's a dream! 383 00:15:58,354 --> 00:16:00,815 Last night, it was the bathroom at the Radio City Music Hall. 384 00:16:00,898 --> 00:16:02,150 - The Rockettes were there. - Okay. 385 00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:03,901 - They kept slipping. - I got it. 386 00:16:03,985 --> 00:16:05,528 Let's just sleep standing up like cows. 387 00:16:05,612 --> 00:16:08,531 You come to bed, you can watch one of these ridiculous movies. 388 00:16:08,615 --> 00:16:10,199 - All the way through? - Yes. 389 00:16:10,282 --> 00:16:13,369 You won't turn it off when the suspicious sister, co-worker, 390 00:16:13,453 --> 00:16:16,539 or gay best friend investigates the abandoned cabin by the lake 391 00:16:16,622 --> 00:16:18,541 where they find proof to expose the killer 392 00:16:18,624 --> 00:16:20,376 and they get hit in the head with a hammer? 393 00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:22,629 - Nope. - Rory will think we're rollicking. 394 00:16:22,712 --> 00:16:24,421 Well, no one ever said she was dumb. 395 00:16:28,468 --> 00:16:30,970 The deal for $49 billion or about $95 per... 396 00:16:32,138 --> 00:16:33,640 Don't touch the handle! 397 00:16:33,723 --> 00:16:35,057 ...boards have approved the deal 398 00:16:35,141 --> 00:16:37,852 and now begin the long regulatory process that follows. 399 00:16:37,935 --> 00:16:39,729 All of this... 400 00:16:48,571 --> 00:16:51,282 ...four, five, six, seven, eight. 401 00:16:51,365 --> 00:16:54,577 Repeat from the top. A five, six, seven, eight... 402 00:16:54,661 --> 00:16:58,498 Shuffle, a three, a five, a seven and a flap. 403 00:16:58,581 --> 00:17:01,668 Flap, flap, ball change, flap, flap, flap, again. 404 00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,628 Shuffle! A three! 405 00:17:03,711 --> 00:17:04,837 Too loud? 406 00:17:04,921 --> 00:17:07,549 - No. Just loud enough. - Ball change... 407 00:17:07,632 --> 00:17:09,884 - What you doing? - Stress tap dancing. 408 00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:12,094 Helps get out my anxieties. Keeps me calm. 409 00:17:12,178 --> 00:17:14,514 How long have you been tapping your troubles away? 410 00:17:14,597 --> 00:17:17,016 About a month. I needed something to shut my brain off. 411 00:17:17,099 --> 00:17:19,227 I tried meditation. Tried jogging. 412 00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:22,021 Then I read about this. Now, when I can't sleep, 413 00:17:22,104 --> 00:17:23,648 - I get up and tap! - Cool. 414 00:17:24,566 --> 00:17:26,483 - You know you're terrible. - Yeah, I know. 415 00:17:26,568 --> 00:17:27,860 Six, seven and shuffle! 416 00:17:27,944 --> 00:17:29,195 - Where are you going? - Nowhere. 417 00:17:29,278 --> 00:17:31,405 - Do not get your phone. - What are you talking about? 418 00:17:31,488 --> 00:17:33,616 - Do not film this. - I'm checking on Paul Anka. 419 00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:34,951 Dance numbers terrify him. 420 00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:38,120 This is my stress relief. Do not make my stress relief stressful! 421 00:17:38,204 --> 00:17:39,622 - Damn it. Where is it? - I hid it. 422 00:17:39,706 --> 00:17:41,415 You are awful. 423 00:17:41,498 --> 00:17:43,459 You think I don't know you? I have your eyes. 424 00:17:43,543 --> 00:17:45,002 - Fine. - You want some coffee? 425 00:17:45,086 --> 00:17:47,672 - Yes, please. - You sure I didn't wake you up? 426 00:17:47,755 --> 00:17:49,716 Not unless you were dressed like a urinal cake. 427 00:17:50,633 --> 00:17:51,884 You hungry? 428 00:17:51,968 --> 00:17:54,637 - 'Cause you said "cake"? - Yes. 429 00:17:54,721 --> 00:17:55,888 Kind of. 430 00:18:01,853 --> 00:18:04,396 - It's so nice to have you home. - I wish you were sleeping. 431 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,650 - I wish you were sleeping. - Well, I have a lot on my mind. 432 00:18:07,734 --> 00:18:10,069 - My piece for the Atlantic fell through. - No! When? 433 00:18:10,152 --> 00:18:13,030 - Today. That was the call that I got. - Why? 434 00:18:13,114 --> 00:18:15,366 They just bumped it for other stuff. It happens. 435 00:18:15,449 --> 00:18:16,701 Sorry. 436 00:18:16,784 --> 00:18:19,161 It's okay. I have a lot of irons in the fire. 437 00:18:19,245 --> 00:18:22,331 I'm still getting a lot of good responses from the New Yorker piece so... 438 00:18:22,414 --> 00:18:24,876 Did I tell you that I attacked Gail Collins? 439 00:18:24,959 --> 00:18:27,503 - You did not. - I was in the lobby of the Times Building, 440 00:18:27,587 --> 00:18:31,215 hoping to talk to the metro editor. Suddenly, Gail Collins walks in. 441 00:18:31,298 --> 00:18:33,550 I had met her once at the 92nd Street Y. 442 00:18:33,635 --> 00:18:36,220 I wasn't expecting to see her and I was jacked up on coffee 443 00:18:36,303 --> 00:18:38,347 and I just lunged at her, 444 00:18:38,430 --> 00:18:40,808 which she interpreted as a stranger lunging at her. 445 00:18:40,892 --> 00:18:42,559 - So sensitive. - I felt so stupid. 446 00:18:42,644 --> 00:18:44,145 She was freaking out. She gave me her wallet. 447 00:18:44,228 --> 00:18:46,773 - Did you keep it? - No. 448 00:18:46,856 --> 00:18:48,941 But, I don't know, she was really nice about it. 449 00:18:49,025 --> 00:18:52,319 She realized who I was and asked the security guards to get off me. 450 00:18:52,403 --> 00:18:56,115 Well, here's the upside. You definitely made an impression. 451 00:18:56,198 --> 00:18:58,660 It's okay. I have a lot of irons in the fire. 452 00:18:58,743 --> 00:19:00,202 I heard. You should become a blacksmith. 453 00:19:00,286 --> 00:19:01,954 What about you? 454 00:19:02,038 --> 00:19:05,291 - Mmm... what about me? - Are you having the dreams again? 455 00:19:05,374 --> 00:19:09,586 I'm just stressed out and kind of feeling my mortality lately. 456 00:19:09,671 --> 00:19:12,214 - What do you mean? - The other day, a guest left a brochure 457 00:19:12,298 --> 00:19:13,590 in their room after they checked out. 458 00:19:13,675 --> 00:19:16,678 It was for Anthem of the Seas. So I'm flipping through, 459 00:19:16,761 --> 00:19:19,681 looking at swimming pools and pictures of the buffet. 460 00:19:19,764 --> 00:19:23,100 Everything's planned and they have Wi-Fi and Rock of Ages 461 00:19:23,184 --> 00:19:25,978 and you don't have to bring money. I found myself thinking... 462 00:19:26,062 --> 00:19:27,980 - No. - maybe it would be nice 463 00:19:28,064 --> 00:19:29,148 to take a cruise! 464 00:19:29,231 --> 00:19:30,942 - No! - And then I broke a hip. 465 00:19:31,025 --> 00:19:33,194 - You are not going on a cruise. - I know. 466 00:19:33,277 --> 00:19:36,656 - Is everything okay with Luke? - Yeah, everything's fine. 467 00:19:36,739 --> 00:19:39,533 I annoy him and he builds cabinets. Or that's what I think. 468 00:19:39,616 --> 00:19:41,077 He says we need the storage. 469 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,412 Do you think it's because of Grandpa? 470 00:19:44,163 --> 00:19:45,706 My sudden need to cruise? 471 00:19:46,708 --> 00:19:48,710 - Yeah. - No. 472 00:19:48,793 --> 00:19:51,462 I don't know. Maybe. 473 00:19:52,504 --> 00:19:53,505 I miss him. 474 00:19:58,761 --> 00:20:00,387 To absent friends. 475 00:20:00,971 --> 00:20:02,515 To absent friends. 476 00:20:04,225 --> 00:20:06,852 People might say drinking coffee in the middle of the night 477 00:20:06,936 --> 00:20:08,104 could hinder your sleep. 478 00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:09,563 People are dumb. 479 00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:30,668 Caesar, let's go! Where's my toast? 480 00:20:30,752 --> 00:20:32,044 - Toaster's down. - What? 481 00:20:32,128 --> 00:20:34,839 Oh, wait, it's just unplugged. Toast coming right up. 482 00:20:35,547 --> 00:20:38,843 Over easy, scrambled soft, whites with cheese. Coffee? 483 00:20:38,926 --> 00:20:40,052 What's the Wi-Fi password? 484 00:20:40,136 --> 00:20:42,764 - Dinerluke. Capital "D," small "L." - Pick up! 485 00:20:42,847 --> 00:20:46,600 Luke, I need to talk to you about your septic tank testimonial. 486 00:20:46,683 --> 00:20:49,061 I'm not giving you a septic tank testimonial, Taylor. 487 00:20:49,145 --> 00:20:51,022 If you're confused by what I need, 488 00:20:51,105 --> 00:20:53,733 I brought some sample testimonials to guide you. 489 00:20:53,816 --> 00:20:56,402 I think you'll find Mimsy Frupp's description 490 00:20:56,485 --> 00:20:58,612 of her granddaughter's disastrous day 491 00:20:58,695 --> 00:21:01,698 jumping into fall leaves especially edifying. 492 00:21:01,783 --> 00:21:05,536 She thought the tyke was diving into an autumnal paradise. 493 00:21:05,619 --> 00:21:07,872 Instead she found herself submerged... 494 00:21:07,955 --> 00:21:10,750 - Taylor, order something or get out. - Fine. 495 00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,794 New menu. I'll need a minute. 496 00:21:13,878 --> 00:21:15,212 Excuse me. Password? 497 00:21:15,296 --> 00:21:17,339 DINERDANES321. All caps. 498 00:21:17,423 --> 00:21:19,801 - Hey, there she is! Get in here! - What about me? 499 00:21:19,884 --> 00:21:21,343 Ah, you get in here, too. 500 00:21:21,427 --> 00:21:23,345 - Should I be nervous? - As a rule, yes. 501 00:21:23,429 --> 00:21:26,307 Okay. Something I want you to see. 502 00:21:26,390 --> 00:21:28,309 New menus. 503 00:21:28,392 --> 00:21:29,769 Very nice. 504 00:21:29,852 --> 00:21:32,021 - Notice anything? - Oh... nope. 505 00:21:32,104 --> 00:21:33,022 Turn it over. 506 00:21:34,941 --> 00:21:38,235 - That's my New Yorker piece. Wow! - Super-proud! 507 00:21:38,319 --> 00:21:39,862 For everyone to read. 508 00:21:39,946 --> 00:21:41,948 - Now what can I get you? - Coffee, please. 509 00:21:42,031 --> 00:21:45,242 - I have a list and I need it all to go. - You got it. 510 00:21:46,994 --> 00:21:50,122 - That's my piece. - Wrapped in plastic. 511 00:21:50,206 --> 00:21:52,541 You knew when Luke moved in with me he'd turn weird. 512 00:21:52,624 --> 00:21:56,170 Thanks for your patronage! Be sure to call my mom and rate me! 513 00:21:56,253 --> 00:21:58,339 Five stars is appreciated! 514 00:21:59,841 --> 00:22:01,884 First official fare! 515 00:22:01,968 --> 00:22:04,761 That elderly woman that I successfully drove here? 516 00:22:04,846 --> 00:22:08,850 That is widow Joy Puddleston from 88 Peach Tree Drive. 517 00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:11,185 Right now, thanks to my new business, 518 00:22:11,268 --> 00:22:14,688 Widow Puddleston is only ten minutes late for chemo! 519 00:22:14,771 --> 00:22:15,772 Are you ordering? 520 00:22:15,857 --> 00:22:18,484 Fudgy banana milkshake. I am flying, man! 521 00:22:18,567 --> 00:22:20,194 - This is gonna work. - Terrific. 522 00:22:20,277 --> 00:22:23,531 - This area over here would be perfect. - Perfect for what, Kirk? 523 00:22:23,614 --> 00:22:26,408 Have you heard about my new business, Luke? Ööö-ber? 524 00:22:26,492 --> 00:22:27,493 Do not make that sound! 525 00:22:27,576 --> 00:22:31,539 I need to find a place where, after people call, they can get picked up. 526 00:22:31,622 --> 00:22:34,500 - This corner would work. - That's not how Uber works. 527 00:22:34,583 --> 00:22:36,293 Well, this isn't Uber, this is... 528 00:22:37,253 --> 00:22:40,131 Luke, you need to control your woman. 529 00:22:40,214 --> 00:22:41,798 Oh! 530 00:22:42,424 --> 00:22:43,800 Those aren't even your bagels! 531 00:22:43,885 --> 00:22:45,552 I'm buying them new ones. 532 00:22:47,388 --> 00:22:49,515 Oh, crap! I forgot about Paul? 533 00:22:49,598 --> 00:22:52,018 You're kidding! He was at the house this whole time? 534 00:22:52,101 --> 00:22:54,645 - Didn't you notice his car out front? - No, didn't you? 535 00:22:54,728 --> 00:22:56,438 There you are. 536 00:22:56,522 --> 00:22:58,315 Hi, Paul. I'm so sorry, I just... 537 00:22:58,399 --> 00:23:01,402 It was my fault. I needed her to come look at something with me. 538 00:23:01,485 --> 00:23:04,280 I forgot to leave you a note. And it's... 539 00:23:04,363 --> 00:23:07,491 - I was about to call you. Are you hungry? - Not really. 540 00:23:07,574 --> 00:23:09,618 - Not really? - I'm not a breakfast person. 541 00:23:09,701 --> 00:23:11,162 As in, you already had breakfast? 542 00:23:11,245 --> 00:23:12,871 - No. - Did you know about this? 543 00:23:12,955 --> 00:23:14,498 I'm gonna wash my hands. Order me a tea? 544 00:23:14,581 --> 00:23:15,707 - Tea? No. - Yes. 545 00:23:15,791 --> 00:23:16,959 - Go on. - Okay. 546 00:23:18,544 --> 00:23:22,173 - You have got to cut that poor boy loose. - I keep meaning to and I keep... 547 00:23:22,256 --> 00:23:24,050 - Forgetting! - So, so sad! 548 00:23:24,133 --> 00:23:27,928 Your breakfast list, coffee to go. Have a good flight. Come back soon. 549 00:23:28,012 --> 00:23:30,389 - And take a menu. - Thanks, Luke. 550 00:23:34,226 --> 00:23:35,978 - Bye. - Bye. 551 00:23:48,991 --> 00:23:51,702 Crap, crap, crap! Ooh! 552 00:23:53,204 --> 00:23:54,746 - Hey, got the food. - Ready to go? 553 00:23:54,830 --> 00:23:56,498 Absolutely. 554 00:23:59,961 --> 00:24:01,462 I just don't understand it. 555 00:24:01,545 --> 00:24:02,838 Before we got married, 556 00:24:02,921 --> 00:24:05,257 Frederick was more indifferent to children than I am. 557 00:24:05,341 --> 00:24:06,925 - That's not possible. - Oh, yes. 558 00:24:07,009 --> 00:24:08,302 We could be walking by the well 559 00:24:08,385 --> 00:24:10,679 that Timmy fell down and he'd throw a penny in. 560 00:24:10,762 --> 00:24:14,475 - Maybe he kept his feelings to himself. - For five years? No. 561 00:24:14,558 --> 00:24:15,934 Something happened. 562 00:24:16,018 --> 00:24:19,105 Twenty minutes after "I do," he lost his mind. 563 00:24:19,188 --> 00:24:21,398 Now all he talks about is, "Guess who's pregnant?" 564 00:24:21,482 --> 00:24:23,317 or "What school district is it in? 565 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,319 You have to live in a good school district." 566 00:24:25,402 --> 00:24:28,280 And I say, "Why? Isn't that what boarding school is for? 567 00:24:28,364 --> 00:24:30,491 So you don't have to live in a good school district?" 568 00:24:30,574 --> 00:24:32,618 I don't think that's what boarding school's for. 569 00:24:32,701 --> 00:24:34,370 Well, it's very mystifying. 570 00:24:34,453 --> 00:24:36,580 He keeps shoving children in my arms. 571 00:24:36,664 --> 00:24:38,499 "Hold this. What do you feel?" 572 00:24:38,582 --> 00:24:41,835 "Well, now there's spittle on my Brioni suit so, rage?" 573 00:24:41,918 --> 00:24:45,506 - Why does it smell like onions? - The new pop-up crew in the kitchen. 574 00:24:45,589 --> 00:24:48,342 - That's tonight? - Yes, that's tonight. 575 00:24:48,425 --> 00:24:51,720 - I hate this pop-up idea. - We have an empty dining room and kitchen. 576 00:24:51,803 --> 00:24:53,972 - What do you propose we do? - Put on a show? 577 00:24:54,056 --> 00:24:57,184 We live in a town where every restaurant closes at 4:45. 578 00:24:57,268 --> 00:24:58,269 People need to eat. 579 00:24:58,352 --> 00:25:01,313 - What's this new chef guy's name again? - Oh, come on. 580 00:25:01,397 --> 00:25:04,108 I can't remember. It's like a million syllables long. 581 00:25:04,191 --> 00:25:05,692 Roy Choi. 582 00:25:05,776 --> 00:25:07,819 - The food truck guy. - He's not a food truck guy. 583 00:25:07,903 --> 00:25:09,196 He's a guy with a food truck. 584 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:13,409 A fleet of food trucks, three restaurants and a massive online following. 585 00:25:13,492 --> 00:25:15,327 Oh, so he tweets? He's a tweeter? 586 00:25:15,411 --> 00:25:19,206 "Hey, kids. Come grab some rad food at the Dragonfly." 587 00:25:19,290 --> 00:25:20,707 Do you even know how Twitter works? 588 00:25:20,791 --> 00:25:23,627 - Oh, he's cool, right? - Yes, he seems cool. 589 00:25:23,710 --> 00:25:25,796 I hate cool. Makes me feel so uncool. 590 00:25:25,879 --> 00:25:30,759 I don't need some cool guy tweeting, making me feel uncool in my own inn. 591 00:25:30,842 --> 00:25:34,012 Why on earth aren't you on Xanax? It was invented for you. 592 00:25:34,096 --> 00:25:35,931 What's that "Kogi" tattoo on his arm about? 593 00:25:36,014 --> 00:25:37,474 Kogi is the name of his business. 594 00:25:37,558 --> 00:25:40,061 So the tattoo, while not as clever as "Wino Forever," 595 00:25:40,144 --> 00:25:41,812 is at least thematically correct. 596 00:25:41,895 --> 00:25:45,023 - We should hire a regular chef. - We should, shouldn't we? 597 00:25:45,107 --> 00:25:47,068 - How long is this pop-up thing? - Two weeks. 598 00:25:47,151 --> 00:25:48,277 - Can it be less? - No. 599 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,862 - I'd like it to be less. - I don't need a child. I have you. 600 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,867 Great. He's gonna set the whole place on fire. 601 00:25:55,951 --> 00:25:57,911 - Oh, hey, Lorelai. - Hey. 602 00:25:57,994 --> 00:26:00,331 This kitchen's awesome. Sookie set it up perfectly. 603 00:26:00,414 --> 00:26:01,957 Yes, well, Sookie's a genius. 604 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,625 - What is all this? - You like abalone? 605 00:26:03,709 --> 00:26:07,171 - Is this a trick question? - No. Abalone is delicious. 606 00:26:07,254 --> 00:26:10,216 I'm doing a green pea congee with fried shallots, spring onions, 607 00:26:10,299 --> 00:26:13,594 cilantro, chili oil and abalone. Oh, I meant to ask. 608 00:26:13,677 --> 00:26:15,887 Can I screw with the dining room? Make it less granny? 609 00:26:15,971 --> 00:26:17,556 - Uh, no. - Problem. No problem. 610 00:26:17,639 --> 00:26:19,349 De-granny the place. 611 00:26:19,433 --> 00:26:22,394 Go nuts. I hated my grandmother. Horrible woman. 612 00:26:22,478 --> 00:26:25,647 But we are thrilled that you are here. And she's not. 613 00:26:25,731 --> 00:26:27,816 All right, come on, you guys. Let's go. 614 00:26:27,899 --> 00:26:29,360 Thank you. 615 00:26:29,443 --> 00:26:32,904 Abalone! Yay! 616 00:26:34,156 --> 00:26:35,366 Will you relax, please? 617 00:26:35,449 --> 00:26:37,993 Between you and Frederick, I'm going to have a stroke. 618 00:26:38,076 --> 00:26:39,661 - Where is it? - What? 619 00:26:39,745 --> 00:26:41,663 The coffeemaker. Where is the coffeemaker? 620 00:26:41,747 --> 00:26:43,707 - Uh... - It was right here yesterday! 621 00:26:43,790 --> 00:26:46,793 - It was right here! Roy! - Uh, I... Wait... 622 00:26:46,877 --> 00:26:51,257 Roy! Um, Roy? Where's the coffee machine? 623 00:26:51,340 --> 00:26:54,510 I moved it. I needed counter space. Eduardo can make you a coffee. 624 00:26:54,593 --> 00:26:57,221 - How? Is Eduardo magic? - He makes a stovetop version... 625 00:26:57,304 --> 00:26:58,347 - Eh, eh. - It really is... 626 00:26:58,430 --> 00:26:59,931 - Eh, eh, eh, eh. - I can move it back. 627 00:27:00,015 --> 00:27:01,933 I am so sorry, but this isn't gonna to work. 628 00:27:02,017 --> 00:27:03,059 - Michel! - I'm right here. 629 00:27:03,144 --> 00:27:07,105 Oh, sorry. Uh, Michel, call over to Momo's and see if they can accommodate 630 00:27:07,189 --> 00:27:09,566 a crazy cool congee extravaganza. 631 00:27:09,650 --> 00:27:11,777 Thank you. It's been a pleasure. 632 00:27:11,860 --> 00:27:15,572 Louis here is gonna walk you over to Momo's Tires and get you settled. 633 00:27:15,656 --> 00:27:18,742 - Wait, it's a tire store? - Buh-bye. Thank you. 634 00:27:20,202 --> 00:27:21,245 What, Michel? 635 00:27:21,328 --> 00:27:23,914 At least you were nicer than you were to Anthony Bourdain. 636 00:27:23,997 --> 00:27:25,416 Bourdain parked in Sookie's spot. 637 00:27:25,499 --> 00:27:28,627 Now once again, we have an empty kitchen. 638 00:27:28,710 --> 00:27:29,795 We will find a full-time chef. 639 00:27:29,878 --> 00:27:30,921 - No, we won't. - Yes, we will. 640 00:27:31,004 --> 00:27:32,214 You think no one can cook like her. 641 00:27:32,298 --> 00:27:33,799 - No one can. - April Bloomfield? 642 00:27:33,882 --> 00:27:35,050 - Too much pork. - Alice Waters. 643 00:27:35,133 --> 00:27:37,093 - Little flighty. - David Chang? 644 00:27:37,178 --> 00:27:38,679 Al's does the same thing. 645 00:27:38,762 --> 00:27:41,432 Al's Pancake World does not do the same thing as David Chang. 646 00:27:41,515 --> 00:27:43,975 - It has to be right. - You miss her? Fine. I don't. 647 00:27:44,059 --> 00:27:46,019 - She abandoned us. - She did not abandon us. 648 00:27:46,102 --> 00:27:48,272 A six month sabbatical. That's what she said. 649 00:27:48,355 --> 00:27:50,023 She was going to clear her head, 650 00:27:50,107 --> 00:27:51,859 come up with new recipes and then be back. 651 00:27:51,942 --> 00:27:55,320 - Well, that was a year ago. - What can I say? She found a calling. 652 00:27:55,404 --> 00:27:57,364 - Really. What's her calling? - Michel. 653 00:27:57,448 --> 00:28:00,201 I'm curious. Describe what she's doing up in the woods? 654 00:28:00,284 --> 00:28:02,453 She's working with Dan Barber at Blue Hill Farm. 655 00:28:02,536 --> 00:28:03,537 Doing? 656 00:28:03,620 --> 00:28:05,831 She is helping him develop food-growing techniques 657 00:28:05,914 --> 00:28:08,459 and cultivating the evolution of fruits and vegetables, 658 00:28:08,542 --> 00:28:11,462 which helps the people who eat them and... 659 00:28:11,545 --> 00:28:14,298 I don't know. They're saving the world. It's on the website. 660 00:28:14,381 --> 00:28:17,050 No, she's squatting in a cabin with no phone service, 661 00:28:17,133 --> 00:28:19,261 trying to grow a pineapple out of a coat rack! 662 00:28:19,345 --> 00:28:20,929 She's not saving the world. 663 00:28:21,012 --> 00:28:23,390 She just found a way to never shave her legs again. 664 00:28:23,474 --> 00:28:24,725 Ooh! Hi, Gypsy! 665 00:28:24,808 --> 00:28:26,768 - I have good news. - Great! What? 666 00:28:26,852 --> 00:28:29,646 Oh, Lorelai. Damn, I dialed the wrong number. 667 00:28:29,730 --> 00:28:32,316 - I'll call you back. - Wait! When can I get my car? 668 00:28:32,399 --> 00:28:35,902 I'm waiting for a part. It's coming in a DeLorean from 1983. 669 00:28:35,986 --> 00:28:38,822 - I have to go to Hartford tonight. - I don't know what to tell you. 670 00:28:38,905 --> 00:28:41,742 Oh, wait, yes I do. Buy a new car. 671 00:28:41,825 --> 00:28:43,494 - Thanks. Great. - I hate this one. 672 00:28:43,577 --> 00:28:45,036 - It's very old. - I got it. 673 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,748 - But it's fun to kick. - Bye, Gypsy. 674 00:28:54,129 --> 00:28:55,923 Hi, Mrs. Gleason? 675 00:28:57,090 --> 00:28:59,260 Hey, Kirk? It's freezing back here. 676 00:28:59,343 --> 00:29:01,887 Oh, that's probably because I vented the floor. 677 00:29:01,970 --> 00:29:03,389 - Pardon? - The floor. 678 00:29:03,472 --> 00:29:05,599 I drilled a few holes in the floor. 679 00:29:06,350 --> 00:29:08,560 Was there an explanation with that or... 680 00:29:08,644 --> 00:29:10,687 Two customers passed out last week. 681 00:29:10,771 --> 00:29:13,607 They were old, so it could've just been old people passing out. 682 00:29:13,690 --> 00:29:16,860 Or carbon monoxide. I just thought better safe than sorry. 683 00:29:17,778 --> 00:29:20,405 - Would you like some water? - Yes. That would be nice. 684 00:29:22,032 --> 00:29:23,409 Here, could you... 685 00:29:23,492 --> 00:29:26,745 - Oh, uh, okay. - And how about some music? 686 00:29:26,828 --> 00:29:31,166 The radio was stolen, but I'm happy to sing any song you request... 687 00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:32,751 as long as it's by the Carpenters. 688 00:29:32,834 --> 00:29:35,587 - How about something by the Carpenters? - Good choice. 689 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,801 ♪ Such a feeling's coming over me ♪ 690 00:29:40,884 --> 00:29:45,306 ♪ There is wonder In most everything I see ♪ 691 00:29:45,389 --> 00:29:47,599 ♪ Not a cloud in the sky ♪ 692 00:29:47,683 --> 00:29:50,018 ♪ Now the sun is in my eye ♪ 693 00:29:50,102 --> 00:29:54,564 ♪ And I won't be surprised If it's a dream ♪ 694 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,042 Uh, well, thanks, Kirk. 695 00:30:14,125 --> 00:30:15,711 I'm not there yet. 696 00:30:18,129 --> 00:30:20,924 - You know, I think I'm okay. - It's door-to-door service. 697 00:30:21,007 --> 00:30:24,678 - Well, I won't tell if you don't. - I still have to charge the same price. 698 00:30:24,761 --> 00:30:27,431 That's fine, Kirk. 699 00:30:28,474 --> 00:30:30,851 - You have arrived! - Bye, Kirk. 700 00:30:36,398 --> 00:30:37,858 Oh, hola! Hello. 701 00:30:37,941 --> 00:30:40,861 Hi. Um, uh, I'm Lorelai. 702 00:30:40,944 --> 00:30:42,112 Emily's, um... 703 00:30:44,323 --> 00:30:46,408 No, no, no. I don't think Rory's here yet. 704 00:30:47,576 --> 00:30:51,121 Um, my, uh, daughter, that's... That's her. 705 00:30:51,204 --> 00:30:52,956 Ah! 706 00:30:53,039 --> 00:30:55,334 She's not and I'm not gonna be flying solo tonight, 707 00:30:55,417 --> 00:30:56,960 - so I'm gonna wait outside. - Oh! 708 00:30:57,043 --> 00:30:59,505 But don't say anything to, uh, Mrs. Gilmore. 709 00:30:59,588 --> 00:31:01,465 - Oh. - Okay? Shh. Shh. 710 00:31:01,548 --> 00:31:03,008 - Okay. - Okay. Thank you. 711 00:31:03,091 --> 00:31:04,635 Oh... 712 00:31:06,595 --> 00:31:07,888 Oh, thank God! 713 00:31:09,264 --> 00:31:11,725 Hey, you promised you'd be here right at 7:00. 714 00:31:11,808 --> 00:31:13,519 - It's 7:05. - Apology accepted. 715 00:31:13,602 --> 00:31:16,104 - Why are you out here? It's freezing. - 'Cause we're a team. 716 00:31:16,187 --> 00:31:17,939 Would Dean Martin go in without Jerry Lewis? 717 00:31:18,023 --> 00:31:19,733 No, but Jerry Lewis would go in without Dean. 718 00:31:19,816 --> 00:31:20,901 Am I Jerry Lewis? 719 00:31:20,984 --> 00:31:22,778 - I'm ringing the doorbell. - Why am I Jerry Lewis? 720 00:31:22,861 --> 00:31:24,446 I don't need to answer that. 721 00:31:24,530 --> 00:31:26,239 Hmm. Hi, here's Rory. 722 00:31:26,322 --> 00:31:28,367 Ah! 723 00:31:28,450 --> 00:31:29,785 Right. 724 00:31:30,369 --> 00:31:34,456 Rory, there you are. It is so good to see you. 725 00:31:34,540 --> 00:31:37,042 Hi, Grandma. It's so good to see you. How are you? 726 00:31:37,125 --> 00:31:38,919 Well, I am a Gilmore. 727 00:31:39,002 --> 00:31:42,673 My goodness, you look absolutely radiant. 728 00:31:42,756 --> 00:31:45,467 Well, she is a Gilmore. And 32, which helps. 729 00:31:45,551 --> 00:31:48,094 - I think you must be in love. - Hi, Mom. 730 00:31:48,178 --> 00:31:50,972 Don't track mud in here. I had the floors waxed. 731 00:31:51,056 --> 00:31:52,391 You and I had a better rapport. 732 00:31:52,474 --> 00:31:54,976 Excuse me, Mrs. Gilmore. 733 00:31:55,060 --> 00:31:58,939 Oh, good, good. In here. I need light bulbs. 734 00:31:59,022 --> 00:32:00,774 This, there. You see... 735 00:32:00,857 --> 00:32:02,108 - There and there. - Ah. 736 00:32:02,192 --> 00:32:04,736 - The bulbs... the bulbs are out. - Hmm. 737 00:32:04,820 --> 00:32:05,946 - No problem. - Yeah? 738 00:32:06,029 --> 00:32:08,907 And now... And in here... 739 00:32:08,990 --> 00:32:10,116 that sconce... 740 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,870 and then over the picture, the light. Over here, the picture... 741 00:32:13,954 --> 00:32:16,957 The... the lights over the picture? Yes? 742 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,375 Did you get a new handyman, Mom? 743 00:32:20,252 --> 00:32:22,587 - Cyrano? - Grandma, did you hire a new handyman? 744 00:32:22,671 --> 00:32:24,172 Yes. That's Alejandro. 745 00:32:24,255 --> 00:32:27,383 He's Berta's husband and he's amazing. He can fix anything. 746 00:32:27,468 --> 00:32:29,595 I'm usually wary about hiring husbands. 747 00:32:29,678 --> 00:32:31,888 I hired a maid once whose husband was a gardener. 748 00:32:31,972 --> 00:32:35,350 He got angry with her one day and decapitated one of my topiaries. 749 00:32:35,434 --> 00:32:38,645 Hmm. Was it the one of Spiro Agnew? 750 00:32:40,689 --> 00:32:42,190 - Ask her, ask her. - Uh, Grandma... 751 00:32:42,273 --> 00:32:44,400 just wondering... Who are the kids? 752 00:32:44,485 --> 00:32:47,863 - Oh, they're Berta's children, I think. - You think? 753 00:32:47,946 --> 00:32:50,699 They appeared when she did, so I put two and two together. 754 00:32:50,782 --> 00:32:52,868 You have an entire family in your house 755 00:32:52,951 --> 00:32:54,870 and you're not sure if they're actually a family? 756 00:32:54,953 --> 00:32:56,329 So what, Lorelai? 757 00:32:56,412 --> 00:32:58,832 I have a house. They needed a place to live. 758 00:32:58,915 --> 00:33:00,500 They work for me. Problem? 759 00:33:00,584 --> 00:33:02,461 No. Yes. All good. You're right. 760 00:33:02,544 --> 00:33:06,965 Let's go sit and have martinis. You can tell me all about this new boy. 761 00:33:07,048 --> 00:33:10,636 Well, he's not new. We've been going out about two years. 762 00:33:10,719 --> 00:33:12,846 - Really? I must meet him. - Oh, you did. 763 00:33:12,929 --> 00:33:14,890 Really? I'm sorry. I'll meet him again. 764 00:33:14,973 --> 00:33:17,017 - Won't matter. - Come sit. 765 00:33:17,100 --> 00:33:18,769 What? 766 00:33:21,522 --> 00:33:23,815 - Uh, Mom? - Yes? 767 00:33:25,316 --> 00:33:27,152 - Um... - Oh, yes. 768 00:33:27,235 --> 00:33:28,653 Isn't it wonderful? 769 00:33:30,989 --> 00:33:31,990 It's... 770 00:33:32,073 --> 00:33:34,325 It's... it's... 771 00:33:34,409 --> 00:33:35,619 It's... 772 00:33:36,411 --> 00:33:37,496 The whole wall! 773 00:33:37,579 --> 00:33:40,248 I had it painted from one of my favorite pictures of him. 774 00:33:40,331 --> 00:33:41,875 - Do you like it? - Yes. 775 00:33:41,958 --> 00:33:43,126 Sure. 776 00:33:44,544 --> 00:33:49,132 It's so... big. 777 00:33:49,633 --> 00:33:53,428 It's a Marco Toretti. His specialty is large canvases. 778 00:33:53,512 --> 00:33:55,597 Well, he did himself proud. 779 00:33:56,097 --> 00:33:59,935 - And... you wanted it that big, right? - Of course I did. 780 00:34:00,018 --> 00:34:02,187 'Cause it's a... a real presence. 781 00:34:02,270 --> 00:34:04,189 As was your father. Olive? 782 00:34:04,272 --> 00:34:06,232 And he came and measured the space? 783 00:34:06,316 --> 00:34:07,859 - Who? - Mario Andretti? 784 00:34:07,943 --> 00:34:09,861 Marco Toretti. Yes, he did. Why? 785 00:34:09,945 --> 00:34:12,447 - No reason. - I wanted something dramatic. 786 00:34:12,531 --> 00:34:13,782 And you got it. 787 00:34:13,865 --> 00:34:15,534 - I did. - Okay. 788 00:34:16,993 --> 00:34:18,078 - Cheers. - Cheers. 789 00:34:23,667 --> 00:34:25,043 Oh, come on, Mom. Admit it. 790 00:34:25,126 --> 00:34:27,212 - Admit what? - You Spinal Tapped the painting. 791 00:34:27,295 --> 00:34:28,880 - What? - You Spinal Tapped the painting. 792 00:34:28,964 --> 00:34:32,676 You gave them the wrong dimensions and now you are trying to pretend 793 00:34:32,759 --> 00:34:35,303 that massive portrait is something you intended. 794 00:34:35,386 --> 00:34:37,222 - It was. Yes. - It was? 795 00:34:37,305 --> 00:34:40,516 You intended for Dad's eyebrow and my forearm to be the same length? 796 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,852 - Yes. - It's 18-feet tall! 797 00:34:42,936 --> 00:34:44,271 It's not 18-feet tall. 798 00:34:44,354 --> 00:34:46,648 - It looks 18 feet-tall. - Should I get a tape measure? 799 00:34:46,732 --> 00:34:47,983 - No. - I can get a tape measure. 800 00:34:48,066 --> 00:34:50,736 - Do not get a tape measure. - Alejandro has one. 801 00:34:50,819 --> 00:34:54,155 I don't believe you wanted a portrait of Dad so massive, 802 00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,199 - it doesn't fit on the wall! - Well, I did. 803 00:34:56,282 --> 00:34:59,786 A portrait so big, Peter Jackson could hang it at the Argonath. 804 00:34:59,870 --> 00:35:02,497 - Yes, he could. - You don't know what the Argonath is! 805 00:35:02,581 --> 00:35:04,583 Doesn't matter. It's a nice picture of Grandpa. 806 00:35:04,666 --> 00:35:06,835 Mom. Do it over. 807 00:35:06,918 --> 00:35:08,920 Get what you want. You have the money. 808 00:35:09,004 --> 00:35:11,882 - This is what I want. - I swear it can't be. 809 00:35:11,965 --> 00:35:13,341 - Why not? - Because! Look at it. 810 00:35:13,424 --> 00:35:17,137 It's nuts! "Wizard, you shall not pass!" Seriously! 811 00:35:17,220 --> 00:35:19,765 Fine! I made a mistake! Are you happy? 812 00:35:19,848 --> 00:35:22,726 I gave them the wrong dimensions, and they screwed it up. 813 00:35:22,809 --> 00:35:24,561 I'm a screw-up! I admit it! 814 00:35:24,645 --> 00:35:29,691 Just please, don't let this be the only thing you remember to say at my funeral! 815 00:35:33,194 --> 00:35:34,863 So... 816 00:35:36,531 --> 00:35:37,699 Yes? 817 00:35:38,825 --> 00:35:42,078 Did I tell you what happened at the funeral after you left? 818 00:35:42,162 --> 00:35:44,372 Why, no, you didn't. 819 00:35:45,707 --> 00:35:47,292 Because something did. 820 00:37:20,802 --> 00:37:24,430 So nice of you to come. You're in Florida now, aren't you? 821 00:37:24,514 --> 00:37:27,809 We are. You should come visit us when things calm down a bit. 822 00:37:27,893 --> 00:37:29,895 I'll do that. I promise. 823 00:37:33,982 --> 00:37:35,859 - Beautiful service, Emily. - Thank you. 824 00:37:37,152 --> 00:37:39,612 - I'm all right, Rory. - Okay. 825 00:37:40,864 --> 00:37:43,408 - I really am all right. - I know. 826 00:37:45,410 --> 00:37:46,411 Lorelai. 827 00:37:47,328 --> 00:37:50,665 Jason Stiles, as I live and breathe. 828 00:37:50,749 --> 00:37:53,418 You look like the hottest Italian widow I have ever seen. 829 00:37:53,501 --> 00:37:55,837 It's nice that you came. 830 00:37:55,921 --> 00:37:58,631 Your father was a lion. You know that. 831 00:37:58,714 --> 00:38:01,051 I do. 832 00:38:01,134 --> 00:38:02,969 I'm deeply sorry. 833 00:38:03,553 --> 00:38:06,806 At least it was sudden. Mom didn't have to watch him fade away. 834 00:38:06,890 --> 00:38:09,059 Have you seen my mother by the way? 835 00:38:09,142 --> 00:38:13,271 I've been successfully keeping a living room's worth of space between us. 836 00:38:13,354 --> 00:38:14,730 She's in hostess mode. 837 00:38:14,814 --> 00:38:16,483 At worst, she'll send you home with shrimp. 838 00:38:16,566 --> 00:38:19,235 - To which I'm allergic. - Thus fulfilling her devious plan. 839 00:38:20,779 --> 00:38:22,906 - You happy? - Right now or... 840 00:38:25,158 --> 00:38:26,159 Are you happy? 841 00:38:27,869 --> 00:38:28,787 Yes. 842 00:38:30,121 --> 00:38:31,539 Umlauts. 843 00:38:31,622 --> 00:38:33,666 Digger. 844 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:42,968 What you doin'? 845 00:38:43,051 --> 00:38:45,345 Oh, there was a screw loose in the heating vent. 846 00:38:45,428 --> 00:38:46,930 I didn't want it to fall out. 847 00:38:47,013 --> 00:38:49,140 Uh-huh. Did you service the boiler yet? 848 00:38:49,224 --> 00:38:51,351 It was just the one screw. That's it. 849 00:38:51,434 --> 00:38:52,602 Garbage disposal working now? 850 00:38:52,685 --> 00:38:55,814 I just saw it like that and I had this with me so... 851 00:38:55,897 --> 00:38:57,273 - And the rain gutters? - Well... 852 00:38:57,357 --> 00:39:02,195 You can't leave them clogged like that. The water gets in the house. 853 00:39:02,278 --> 00:39:04,823 I can't help it. Funerals make me nervous. 854 00:39:04,906 --> 00:39:05,949 Here. 855 00:39:06,032 --> 00:39:07,450 This is such a big house 856 00:39:07,533 --> 00:39:08,618 and things go wrong all the time. 857 00:39:08,701 --> 00:39:10,370 But I could have my husband fix everything. 858 00:39:10,453 --> 00:39:12,413 And we could move in here with you so you would not be so alone 859 00:39:12,497 --> 00:39:14,124 and we can take care of everything. 860 00:39:14,207 --> 00:39:15,500 - Everything. - Sure. 861 00:39:15,583 --> 00:39:17,127 You will like my husband. 862 00:39:17,210 --> 00:39:18,294 He's very tall and quiet. 863 00:39:18,378 --> 00:39:19,795 - Okay? - Sure. 864 00:39:19,879 --> 00:39:21,756 Oh, Señora Gilmore, don't worry. 865 00:39:22,590 --> 00:39:25,760 Fine. Just take that to the kitchen? 866 00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:29,180 - What language is that? - I do not know. 867 00:39:29,264 --> 00:39:30,265 I thought it was Spanish, 868 00:39:30,348 --> 00:39:32,934 but I had the gardener tell her to come in early one day 869 00:39:33,018 --> 00:39:35,311 and he told me she wasn't speaking Spanish, 870 00:39:35,395 --> 00:39:36,812 It took me a while to understand 871 00:39:36,897 --> 00:39:39,858 because I need the pool man to translate for the gardener. 872 00:39:39,941 --> 00:39:42,735 - Hey, time to get going, kid. - Oh, shoot! 873 00:39:42,818 --> 00:39:44,570 I have to get to the airport! 874 00:39:44,654 --> 00:39:46,447 My goodness, so dramatic. 875 00:39:46,531 --> 00:39:48,992 Please tell your daughter I'm going to be fine. 876 00:39:49,075 --> 00:39:52,704 - The two of you can just run along. - Oh, no. I'm gonna have Luke drive her. 877 00:39:52,787 --> 00:39:55,040 - You're staying? - Yeah. 878 00:39:55,623 --> 00:39:56,833 All right. 879 00:39:56,917 --> 00:39:58,501 Grandma... 880 00:39:58,584 --> 00:40:00,211 You made him very proud. 881 00:40:00,295 --> 00:40:02,881 I will call you when I get to London. 882 00:40:02,964 --> 00:40:04,883 Emily, everything's in good shape here. 883 00:40:04,966 --> 00:40:06,426 - I'm sorry? - Just send her your bill. 884 00:40:06,509 --> 00:40:08,303 Right. So... 885 00:40:09,720 --> 00:40:12,432 Thank you, Luke. Drive safe now. 886 00:40:12,515 --> 00:40:13,724 Okay, love you. 887 00:40:13,808 --> 00:40:15,685 Ditto. Bye, guys. 888 00:40:19,022 --> 00:40:20,899 So... scotch? 889 00:40:21,857 --> 00:40:22,858 God, yes. 890 00:40:58,769 --> 00:41:00,896 One of his favorites. 891 00:41:00,981 --> 00:41:03,066 A classic for a classic. 892 00:41:03,149 --> 00:41:04,317 Hear, hear. 893 00:41:07,612 --> 00:41:10,531 Well, I know it's getting late 894 00:41:10,615 --> 00:41:13,159 and I know some of you have a very long ride home. 895 00:41:14,077 --> 00:41:17,664 I want to thank you for your friendship and for being here. 896 00:41:18,498 --> 00:41:20,500 Richard loved you all very much. 897 00:41:21,459 --> 00:41:24,045 But before we all go our separate ways, 898 00:41:24,129 --> 00:41:27,673 I thought we could go around and everyone could stand up 899 00:41:27,757 --> 00:41:30,260 and tell a favorite story about Richard. 900 00:41:31,886 --> 00:41:32,928 What did she just say? 901 00:41:33,013 --> 00:41:35,640 I know there are hundreds to choose from. 902 00:41:35,723 --> 00:41:38,893 But too bad, I'm going to limit you to just one. 903 00:41:38,977 --> 00:41:40,311 The best one. 904 00:41:40,395 --> 00:41:44,273 The one that most sums up the Richard Gilmore you know and love. 905 00:41:44,899 --> 00:41:46,442 Let's start here. Jack? 906 00:41:48,736 --> 00:41:52,698 Well, Richard and I go back, um, to Yale. 907 00:41:52,782 --> 00:41:56,036 - We both went there... - Excuse me. Please switch places with me. 908 00:41:56,119 --> 00:41:57,537 - What? - There's a draft. 909 00:41:57,620 --> 00:42:00,248 - We're outside. - Yeah, don't wanna go next. 910 00:42:00,331 --> 00:42:05,503 So, I decide to sneak a pair of black lacy women's unmentionables 911 00:42:05,586 --> 00:42:07,630 into his locker for everyone to see. 912 00:42:07,713 --> 00:42:10,175 And so, one day after polo practice, 913 00:42:10,258 --> 00:42:13,844 I'm at the locker and I'm trying to pick the lock so that I can leave 914 00:42:13,928 --> 00:42:16,306 the unmentionables there, and suddenly, 915 00:42:16,389 --> 00:42:20,435 I look up and I see him standing there across the way at my locker 916 00:42:20,518 --> 00:42:24,272 also holding a pair of black lacy knickers. 917 00:42:24,355 --> 00:42:27,942 And he sees me and we look at each other 918 00:42:28,026 --> 00:42:30,361 holding these women's underpants. 919 00:42:30,445 --> 00:42:31,946 So finally, Richard says, 920 00:42:32,030 --> 00:42:36,492 "Well, we can't possibly both be in black." 921 00:42:40,788 --> 00:42:41,831 Wonderful. 922 00:42:41,914 --> 00:42:43,416 Franklin? 923 00:42:45,751 --> 00:42:48,546 He cheated at cards. 924 00:42:50,715 --> 00:42:52,300 Only with you, Franklin. 925 00:42:52,383 --> 00:42:55,678 One day, I'd just got myself a brand new Jaguar. 926 00:42:55,761 --> 00:42:59,057 Richard said, "Let's play for pinks." 927 00:42:59,140 --> 00:43:00,600 So I say, "Now, look here, Gilmore. 928 00:43:00,683 --> 00:43:04,270 You keep your hands off my new car." 929 00:43:04,354 --> 00:43:06,772 And he smiles and says, "Make me." 930 00:43:08,191 --> 00:43:09,567 And next we have... 931 00:43:09,650 --> 00:43:11,652 Oh, looks like Martin's asleep. 932 00:43:11,736 --> 00:43:12,778 Lorelai? 933 00:43:14,322 --> 00:43:16,491 - What? - You're up. 934 00:43:16,574 --> 00:43:18,033 No. No, no. 935 00:43:18,118 --> 00:43:19,744 Let's... let's... 936 00:43:19,827 --> 00:43:22,663 We can wake Martin up, huh? 937 00:43:22,747 --> 00:43:26,167 Hey, Marty. Marty. Babe Paley's in the corner. 938 00:43:26,251 --> 00:43:27,418 - Lorelai. - Hmm? 939 00:43:28,002 --> 00:43:29,003 Just go. 940 00:43:30,213 --> 00:43:32,590 Uh... uh... 941 00:43:33,549 --> 00:43:36,802 The best story... best story. 942 00:43:36,886 --> 00:43:39,514 There's so many great... No... no one else wants to go? 943 00:43:40,265 --> 00:43:43,017 Nope? They don't because it's my turn. 944 00:43:43,101 --> 00:43:44,810 So, um, okay... 945 00:43:44,894 --> 00:43:48,773 I'm ten, and I ask Dad if... 946 00:43:48,856 --> 00:43:53,027 to play hide and seek, and I went and hid in his steamer trunk, 947 00:43:53,111 --> 00:43:54,987 and he left and went to Holland. 948 00:43:57,240 --> 00:43:59,283 I'm sorry. No, it was Belgium. 949 00:43:59,867 --> 00:44:02,328 Or... oh, uh, I'm 15, 950 00:44:02,412 --> 00:44:07,082 and we were having our, um, Gilmore Fourth of July party 951 00:44:07,167 --> 00:44:09,627 and Dad was dressed as Paul Revere. 952 00:44:09,710 --> 00:44:13,881 And I guess I was supposed to be, um, greeting people 953 00:44:13,964 --> 00:44:15,591 or playing the flute with a peg leg, 954 00:44:15,675 --> 00:44:19,094 so he came looking for me and he burst into the pool house 955 00:44:19,179 --> 00:44:22,973 where I was on the couch with Teddy Wiedemier III, 956 00:44:23,057 --> 00:44:26,519 and we had just finished, uh... 957 00:44:26,602 --> 00:44:29,605 "The British are coming! The British are..." Anyhow, you get it. 958 00:44:29,689 --> 00:44:33,318 Dad's livid and he's yelling, "Emily, our daughter's losing her virginity 959 00:44:33,401 --> 00:44:35,528 five feet away from the president of J.P. Morgan," 960 00:44:35,611 --> 00:44:37,280 which was embarrassing and not true, 961 00:44:37,363 --> 00:44:39,574 because that ship had sailed a long time ago, 962 00:44:39,657 --> 00:44:42,117 like Niña, Pinta, Santa Maria time ago, 963 00:44:42,202 --> 00:44:43,661 if you know what I mean. 964 00:44:44,662 --> 00:44:46,206 So... 965 00:44:47,957 --> 00:44:51,586 Oh, I'm sorry, it was not Belgium. It was Croatia. 966 00:45:05,766 --> 00:45:07,768 It was wonderful seeing you again. 967 00:45:07,852 --> 00:45:10,230 We should get together next month maybe. Can we? 968 00:45:10,313 --> 00:45:11,439 I'd love to. 969 00:45:11,522 --> 00:45:13,899 All right now, you all drive carefully. 970 00:45:13,983 --> 00:45:14,984 Thank you so much. 971 00:45:15,943 --> 00:45:18,195 - Good night. - Good night. 972 00:45:33,294 --> 00:45:34,504 I'm sorry. 973 00:45:41,427 --> 00:45:42,970 You took me by surprise. 974 00:45:43,053 --> 00:45:44,138 Not another word. 975 00:45:47,475 --> 00:45:49,226 It was late and there was scotch. 976 00:45:49,310 --> 00:45:51,061 Lorelai, stop talking. 977 00:45:55,816 --> 00:45:57,568 I didn't mean to... 978 00:45:58,403 --> 00:45:59,487 Don't follow. 979 00:46:05,535 --> 00:46:06,536 Mom... 980 00:46:08,537 --> 00:46:09,580 Mom... 981 00:46:11,582 --> 00:46:13,042 Please, come back. 982 00:46:13,125 --> 00:46:16,462 I didn't do it on purpose. I had a brain freeze. I panicked. 983 00:46:16,545 --> 00:46:17,463 Mom. 984 00:46:18,088 --> 00:46:21,801 - You two start with the silver. - I didn't know there'd be a... test. 985 00:46:21,884 --> 00:46:23,386 A test? 986 00:46:23,469 --> 00:46:25,137 - Yes. - You didn't know there'd be a test? 987 00:46:25,220 --> 00:46:28,015 - Is that what you said to me? - I also said I'm sorry. 988 00:46:28,098 --> 00:46:29,099 - Did you? - Yes. 989 00:46:29,183 --> 00:46:30,267 - Did you? - Yes. 990 00:46:30,351 --> 00:46:32,728 - Did you really? - You're making me doubt it now... 991 00:46:32,812 --> 00:46:34,271 I asked you for a story. 992 00:46:34,355 --> 00:46:37,692 "Oh, there was a time when Dad bought me a doll. I loved this doll." 993 00:46:37,775 --> 00:46:40,861 Something like that. Get out! Now! 994 00:46:41,821 --> 00:46:45,533 - "I remember when he took me to the park." - He didn't take me to a park. 995 00:46:45,616 --> 00:46:47,117 - The zoo. - That either. 996 00:46:47,201 --> 00:46:50,538 The store! The club! Kathmandu! I don't give a damn where he took you. 997 00:46:50,621 --> 00:46:53,916 All I wanted was a fond anecdote from his only daughter 998 00:46:53,999 --> 00:46:58,379 and what I got was a rambling diatribe on being abandoned in a steamer trunk. 999 00:46:58,463 --> 00:47:00,881 You have nothing but contempt for this family. 1000 00:47:00,965 --> 00:47:01,841 That is not true. 1001 00:47:01,924 --> 00:47:04,469 What did we do to fill you with such contempt? 1002 00:47:04,552 --> 00:47:07,513 Love you? Support you? Love Rory? Support Rory? 1003 00:47:07,597 --> 00:47:09,181 I'm not filled with contempt. 1004 00:47:09,264 --> 00:47:11,976 All my other friends have children who worship them, 1005 00:47:12,059 --> 00:47:13,519 who call them every day, 1006 00:47:13,603 --> 00:47:15,980 who take pride in the family name and traditions. 1007 00:47:16,063 --> 00:47:17,064 I have pride. 1008 00:47:17,147 --> 00:47:19,984 Your father was a great man. 1009 00:47:20,067 --> 00:47:21,361 A pillar of the community. 1010 00:47:21,444 --> 00:47:23,738 - A man amongst men. - I know. 1011 00:47:23,821 --> 00:47:26,323 And you dishonor him today like this in his own house. 1012 00:47:26,407 --> 00:47:28,033 I didn't mean to dishonor him. 1013 00:47:28,117 --> 00:47:30,285 What did you mean to do? Break my heart in public? 1014 00:47:30,370 --> 00:47:32,955 - No fun doing it in private anymore? - Mom. 1015 00:47:33,039 --> 00:47:37,585 I know that you are in massive pain. Believe it or not, I'm in pain, too. 1016 00:47:37,668 --> 00:47:41,130 I'm tired and my head is spinning, and I haven't eaten in two days. 1017 00:47:41,213 --> 00:47:43,298 - You? Not eaten? Please. - Yes, me! 1018 00:47:43,383 --> 00:47:46,135 I'm surprised you didn't have a pizza delivered during "Ave Maria." 1019 00:47:46,218 --> 00:47:49,639 Well, I haven't eaten and I drank my weight in single malt scotch. 1020 00:47:49,722 --> 00:47:51,640 I screwed up. I made a mistake. 1021 00:47:51,724 --> 00:47:53,518 That was premeditated. 1022 00:47:53,601 --> 00:47:56,604 How could it be premeditated if I didn't know it was coming? 1023 00:47:56,687 --> 00:48:00,315 You never do anything unless it's what you want to do. You never have. 1024 00:48:00,399 --> 00:48:03,069 You blow through life like a natural disaster, 1025 00:48:03,152 --> 00:48:05,488 knocking down everything and everyone in your path. 1026 00:48:05,571 --> 00:48:08,449 - Did Luke know what he was getting into? - Don't. 1027 00:48:08,533 --> 00:48:09,992 Did you ever ask him what he wanted? 1028 00:48:10,075 --> 00:48:12,662 Where he wanted to live? If he wanted children? 1029 00:48:12,745 --> 00:48:14,789 I'm sure that didn't matter to Lorelai Gilmore. 1030 00:48:14,872 --> 00:48:17,542 Nothing matters to her except what she wants and feels. 1031 00:48:17,625 --> 00:48:20,377 God help you if she thinks you've wronged her. 1032 00:48:20,461 --> 00:48:24,339 She will hold onto that grudge forever waiting to get back at you. 1033 00:48:24,423 --> 00:48:29,428 I made a mistake! A goddamn mistake! You've never let me make a mistake ever. 1034 00:48:29,512 --> 00:48:32,598 Not once in my life, which is how we always find ourselves here. 1035 00:48:32,682 --> 00:48:34,892 - Where? - Standing in the middle of this room 1036 00:48:34,975 --> 00:48:36,477 yelling at each other like idiots! 1037 00:48:36,561 --> 00:48:40,022 How dare you call me an idiot! I just lost my husband! 1038 00:48:40,105 --> 00:48:41,982 I just lost my father! 1039 00:48:42,066 --> 00:48:43,526 And you couldn't care less! 1040 00:48:43,609 --> 00:48:46,195 That's horrible. 1041 00:48:47,863 --> 00:48:49,114 You're horrible. 1042 00:48:49,198 --> 00:48:50,324 Get out! 1043 00:48:50,908 --> 00:48:53,494 First the help, then me. Seems about right. 1044 00:48:53,578 --> 00:48:54,787 Go home! 1045 00:48:54,870 --> 00:48:57,915 Go back to your beloved town with its carnies and misfits. 1046 00:48:57,998 --> 00:49:01,585 Tell them how your intolerable mother yelled at you at your father's funeral. 1047 00:49:01,669 --> 00:49:04,589 They can all console you and tell you what a witch I am 1048 00:49:04,672 --> 00:49:06,006 and how perfect you are! 1049 00:49:08,008 --> 00:49:10,678 Full freakin' circle. 1050 00:49:15,891 --> 00:49:18,269 You couldn't have just said he was well-read? 1051 00:49:18,561 --> 00:49:21,814 - I know. - "My father. Boy, did he love books." 1052 00:49:21,897 --> 00:49:23,232 I know, I know. 1053 00:49:23,315 --> 00:49:25,693 "And stamps. Whoo, that stamp collection." 1054 00:49:25,776 --> 00:49:27,820 I was under a lot of pressure. You weren't there. 1055 00:49:27,903 --> 00:49:30,072 And how did you neglect to tell me this? 1056 00:49:30,155 --> 00:49:32,742 - Oh, I didn't think she was mad anymore. - You didn't? 1057 00:49:32,825 --> 00:49:35,578 Well, I assumed she was, because she hadn't answered 1058 00:49:35,661 --> 00:49:38,498 any of my calls or e-mails for the last four months, 1059 00:49:38,581 --> 00:49:40,500 but I thought she'd hide it in front of you. 1060 00:49:40,583 --> 00:49:42,251 Because that's ever happened. 1061 00:49:45,504 --> 00:49:48,466 What could possibly elicit that kind of smile in this house? 1062 00:49:49,467 --> 00:49:51,010 It smells meaty. 1063 00:49:51,093 --> 00:49:52,762 Yes, but what kind of meat? 1064 00:49:52,845 --> 00:49:54,930 And there's cheese, and layers of... 1065 00:49:55,848 --> 00:49:57,600 - It's crunchy. - Huh. 1066 00:49:57,683 --> 00:50:00,770 No, wait, it's smooshy. It's crunchy and smooshy. 1067 00:50:00,853 --> 00:50:04,524 - What's crunchy and smooshy? - Peanut butter? Or badly mixed cement? 1068 00:50:04,607 --> 00:50:08,068 So we've got meat, cheese, peanut butter or badly mixed cement. 1069 00:50:08,152 --> 00:50:09,737 For God's sake, just eat it. 1070 00:50:09,820 --> 00:50:12,031 I'll tell you what, I'll dive in first. 1071 00:50:12,114 --> 00:50:15,159 Mom always made me taste her food before she'd eat a bite. 1072 00:50:17,578 --> 00:50:20,956 Mmm. Delicious. And it could be peanut butter. 1073 00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:22,667 - Oh, yeah. - Cool. 1074 00:50:22,750 --> 00:50:25,795 I appreciate you inviting me to dinner. It was harrowing out there. 1075 00:50:26,378 --> 00:50:27,296 Who is this? 1076 00:50:27,379 --> 00:50:29,549 Kirk, your car broke down at the end of the driveway. 1077 00:50:29,632 --> 00:50:32,009 It's lucky for me I'm a very loud crier. 1078 00:50:32,092 --> 00:50:35,304 If your maid hadn't heard my sobs, I don't know what would've happened. 1079 00:50:35,387 --> 00:50:38,516 - You would've run out of Kleenex. - It's nice we can joke about it now. 1080 00:50:39,016 --> 00:50:41,268 Thanks for letting me stash some boxes here, Grandma. 1081 00:50:41,352 --> 00:50:44,313 - Where are you going to live? - I'll get my own place again, eventually. 1082 00:50:44,396 --> 00:50:46,899 For now she's Jack Kerouac. She's On the Road-ing it. 1083 00:50:46,982 --> 00:50:47,983 Pass the peyote. 1084 00:50:48,067 --> 00:50:52,029 But after you've passed the peyote, what bathroom will you use to throw up in? 1085 00:50:52,112 --> 00:50:55,658 Well, I have many options. Paris lets me stay with her in New York. 1086 00:50:55,741 --> 00:50:58,493 - Or I can stay with Mom, Lane or you. - So you're homeless. 1087 00:50:58,578 --> 00:51:00,162 I am not homeless. 1088 00:51:00,245 --> 00:51:02,414 - But you don't live anyplace. - Just for now. 1089 00:51:02,497 --> 00:51:05,000 You're okay with this vagabond existence she's leading? 1090 00:51:05,084 --> 00:51:06,586 Like... like a groupie? 1091 00:51:06,669 --> 00:51:08,963 I wish she was a groupie. I'd get better tickets to stuff. 1092 00:51:09,046 --> 00:51:12,174 - Luke! Buddy! - Hey, everybody. Emily. 1093 00:51:12,257 --> 00:51:14,134 - Careful! - Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. 1094 00:51:14,218 --> 00:51:15,803 - No, I'll do that. - Oh, sure. 1095 00:51:15,886 --> 00:51:16,971 Thanks for coming. 1096 00:51:17,054 --> 00:51:20,390 Yes. Saved us all a very expensive cab ride. 1097 00:51:20,474 --> 00:51:22,727 Are you all leaving now? We all just sat down. 1098 00:51:22,810 --> 00:51:25,980 Oh, no, please. Just eat. Um, no rush. I can just, uh... 1099 00:51:26,897 --> 00:51:28,691 - Buh-buh-buh! - Oh... 1100 00:51:31,068 --> 00:51:32,737 This really is delicious. 1101 00:51:33,946 --> 00:51:36,824 Oh, thank you. 1102 00:51:36,907 --> 00:51:37,908 You don't like it? 1103 00:51:37,992 --> 00:51:41,120 What? Oh, uh... Okay. 1104 00:51:42,204 --> 00:51:43,247 Very good. 1105 00:51:43,330 --> 00:51:45,666 Isn't it? I could eat here every night. 1106 00:51:47,376 --> 00:51:48,878 - Luke? - Hmm, yes? 1107 00:51:48,961 --> 00:51:51,171 What do you think about Rory's living situation? 1108 00:51:51,255 --> 00:51:52,840 - Um... - Her traipsing around 1109 00:51:52,923 --> 00:51:55,592 from one couch to another like she's Llewyn Davis. 1110 00:51:55,676 --> 00:51:56,677 Oh, it's fine. 1111 00:51:57,469 --> 00:52:01,974 Well, I mean... you know, she's grown, and she's... 1112 00:52:02,474 --> 00:52:06,145 Uh, did you read her New Yorker piece that she wrote? I put it on the menu. 1113 00:52:06,228 --> 00:52:09,398 Why is everyone treating this like it's a normal rite of passage? 1114 00:52:09,481 --> 00:52:13,778 Rory is a 32-year-old college-educated woman with no permanent address. 1115 00:52:13,861 --> 00:52:14,904 That's not normal. 1116 00:52:14,987 --> 00:52:17,239 Um, can I be excused? 1117 00:52:17,322 --> 00:52:19,950 They're playing soccer and they seem to be short a man. 1118 00:52:20,034 --> 00:52:21,160 Go. 1119 00:52:23,663 --> 00:52:25,622 Hi, I'm Kirk! Over here! 1120 00:52:26,581 --> 00:52:28,417 Explain to me again who that person is? 1121 00:52:28,500 --> 00:52:31,586 - Oh, that I could. - Grandma, don't worry about me. 1122 00:52:31,671 --> 00:52:34,924 I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm busier than I've ever been. 1123 00:52:35,007 --> 00:52:36,341 I'm traveling and pursuing a goal. 1124 00:52:36,425 --> 00:52:39,261 I don't have to store my stuff here if you're going to worry. 1125 00:52:39,344 --> 00:52:42,181 You can leave your things here. That's not what I meant. 1126 00:52:43,098 --> 00:52:45,392 - There's a chair now. - Oh, sure. 1127 00:52:49,980 --> 00:52:53,108 Goal! 1128 00:52:58,530 --> 00:52:59,865 Call me from London. 1129 00:53:00,783 --> 00:53:01,992 - Luke. - Yes? 1130 00:53:02,076 --> 00:53:05,079 - That was just my way of saying goodbye. - Oh, goodbye. 1131 00:53:05,162 --> 00:53:07,664 - Good night, Mom. - Kirk, we're leaving! 1132 00:53:07,748 --> 00:53:09,166 - Talk tomorrow. - Yep. 1133 00:53:12,252 --> 00:53:13,628 Kirk! Now! 1134 00:53:29,436 --> 00:53:31,396 - Thank you, Luke. - Oh, you're welcome, Kirk. 1135 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:35,192 Before I go, we should get our stories straight about what happened. 1136 00:53:35,275 --> 00:53:38,570 Your car broke down, I drove to Hartford, and drove you back home. 1137 00:53:38,653 --> 00:53:41,365 Or you broke down, I drove to Hartford and picked you up, 1138 00:53:41,448 --> 00:53:42,491 and drove you back home. 1139 00:53:42,574 --> 00:53:43,743 - What? - Much better story. 1140 00:53:43,826 --> 00:53:44,869 No. 1141 00:53:44,952 --> 00:53:48,455 My business is young, Luke. There's kinks to work out. 1142 00:53:48,538 --> 00:53:50,958 People don't want to know how the sausage gets made. 1143 00:53:51,041 --> 00:53:52,042 They just want to eat. 1144 00:53:52,126 --> 00:53:54,669 There's no arguing or even responding to that, Kirk. 1145 00:53:54,754 --> 00:53:56,380 Great. Thank you. 1146 00:53:56,463 --> 00:53:58,090 Damn it. 1147 00:53:58,173 --> 00:53:59,967 Petal, stop right now! 1148 00:54:00,050 --> 00:54:02,677 I know you hear me! I know you hear me! 1149 00:54:02,762 --> 00:54:05,722 You get back here! Curb right! Curb right! 1150 00:54:05,806 --> 00:54:07,933 - Go, Petal! - Don't encourage her. 1151 00:54:11,395 --> 00:54:13,063 - What's all this? - What? 1152 00:54:13,147 --> 00:54:17,484 Dictionary, thesaurus, Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy... 1153 00:54:17,567 --> 00:54:19,319 Aw, you got a letter from April. 1154 00:54:19,403 --> 00:54:22,364 I was two hours into deciphering it when I got your call. 1155 00:54:22,447 --> 00:54:23,490 "Hello, Pater..." 1156 00:54:23,573 --> 00:54:25,534 - "Father," British or Latin. - Sure. 1157 00:54:25,617 --> 00:54:27,577 She used the word "ontological" three times. 1158 00:54:27,661 --> 00:54:29,789 She used it last time. I looked it up and forgot it. 1159 00:54:29,872 --> 00:54:31,540 I was looking it up again when you called. 1160 00:54:31,623 --> 00:54:34,334 That's what you get when you spawn an MIT-going genius. 1161 00:54:34,418 --> 00:54:37,087 Rory's smart. She speaks like she doesn't need subtitles. 1162 00:54:37,171 --> 00:54:38,422 But she grew up with me. 1163 00:54:38,505 --> 00:54:41,216 She learned her language skills via The Breakfast Club. 1164 00:54:41,884 --> 00:54:43,677 - Hey, how old is this coffee? - Old. 1165 00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:44,761 Oh, well. 1166 00:54:46,055 --> 00:54:47,389 - Hey, Luke... - What are you doing? 1167 00:54:47,472 --> 00:54:50,142 - Eating sprinkles. - Wait, but... Never mind. 1168 00:54:50,225 --> 00:54:52,060 Uh, did I tell you? 1169 00:54:52,311 --> 00:54:54,354 Michel's husband Frederick wants a baby. 1170 00:54:54,438 --> 00:54:57,900 Frederick, the guy who ordered three pancakes on three separate plates? 1171 00:54:57,983 --> 00:54:59,985 The town ought to buy another pig. 1172 00:55:00,068 --> 00:55:02,154 I can't watch this anymore. 1173 00:55:02,822 --> 00:55:05,365 Hey, Luke... did you ever want a kid? 1174 00:55:06,283 --> 00:55:08,911 - I have a kid. - I mean a fresh kid. 1175 00:55:08,994 --> 00:55:11,371 What the hell is a fresh kid? 1176 00:55:11,455 --> 00:55:14,082 A kid that's fresh. A kid with me. 1177 00:55:15,209 --> 00:55:18,045 We never had a serious conversation about it, I don't think. 1178 00:55:18,128 --> 00:55:20,005 That moment at the Twickham house, but since then... 1179 00:55:20,089 --> 00:55:24,093 I figured if you wanted another kid you would say something. 1180 00:55:24,176 --> 00:55:26,470 I figured if you wanted another kid, you'd say something. 1181 00:55:26,553 --> 00:55:27,847 - I brought it up once. - When? 1182 00:55:27,930 --> 00:55:29,514 - Five, six years ago. - I don't remember. 1183 00:55:29,598 --> 00:55:30,640 At the little league game. 1184 00:55:30,724 --> 00:55:34,228 The kid playing right field walked off mid-inning to use the bathroom. 1185 00:55:34,311 --> 00:55:36,522 I turned to you and I said, "That's the kid." 1186 00:55:37,356 --> 00:55:39,358 - "That's the kid"? - Yes. 1187 00:55:39,441 --> 00:55:41,610 "That's the kid" is how you say you want to have a kid? 1188 00:55:41,693 --> 00:55:42,611 In so many words. 1189 00:55:42,694 --> 00:55:44,905 No, that is not you saying you want to have a kid. 1190 00:55:44,989 --> 00:55:47,992 "That's the kid" is acknowledging the kid about whom you said, 1191 00:55:48,075 --> 00:55:50,494 - "That's the kid." - I thought you knew what I meant. 1192 00:55:50,577 --> 00:55:52,621 Impossible, because I don't speak "huh"? 1193 00:55:52,704 --> 00:55:56,000 Well... that's what I thought and you didn't pursue it, so... 1194 00:55:56,083 --> 00:55:57,459 - It was up to me to pursue it? - No. 1195 00:55:57,543 --> 00:55:59,127 Sorry, I... 1196 00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:02,756 Well, how do you feel about it now? 1197 00:56:02,839 --> 00:56:04,633 What? 1198 00:56:04,716 --> 00:56:06,010 Do you still want a kid? 1199 00:56:06,093 --> 00:56:09,138 Oh, well, I mean... I mean, isn't it, uh, too late? 1200 00:56:09,221 --> 00:56:11,306 - I don't know. - Look, forget it. 1201 00:56:11,390 --> 00:56:13,058 I have kids. I have April 1202 00:56:13,142 --> 00:56:16,728 and I've always considered Rory to be a little bit mine, so... 1203 00:56:16,812 --> 00:56:20,649 Yeah, but she was so much fun to raise. Don't you want to have that kind of fun? 1204 00:56:20,732 --> 00:56:23,527 I have fun. Look at all the chairs I get to put on tables. 1205 00:56:23,610 --> 00:56:25,820 You don't wanna toss a ball around with your son? 1206 00:56:25,905 --> 00:56:28,240 - There's Jess. - I said toss a ball "with" not "at." 1207 00:56:28,323 --> 00:56:29,741 I'm fine. 1208 00:56:29,825 --> 00:56:32,578 - You'll never see your kid's graduation. - I went to Rory's graduation. 1209 00:56:33,954 --> 00:56:36,540 - It's not the same. - I know it's not the same. 1210 00:56:38,042 --> 00:56:39,751 I don't want you to miss out on anything. 1211 00:56:39,834 --> 00:56:42,254 Nobody gets to have everything they want in life. 1212 00:56:42,337 --> 00:56:44,673 All in all, I think I did pretty good. 1213 00:56:51,931 --> 00:56:53,348 Okay, Sandy, see you then. 1214 00:56:53,432 --> 00:56:55,392 - Who's Sandy? - Do you have to know everything? 1215 00:56:55,475 --> 00:56:58,187 I'm your best friend and business partner, so yes. 1216 00:56:58,270 --> 00:56:59,854 Sandy is our surrogate. 1217 00:56:59,938 --> 00:57:01,732 - You're doing it. - We're thinking about it. 1218 00:57:01,815 --> 00:57:02,857 Exciting! 1219 00:57:02,942 --> 00:57:06,528 I just hope it works. A baby would really help everything. 1220 00:57:06,612 --> 00:57:09,072 - We want cake! - Coming. Take it. 1221 00:57:09,156 --> 00:57:10,699 Who's gonna help me light the candles? 1222 00:57:10,782 --> 00:57:12,826 - I will, I will! - Fun, fun, fun! 1223 00:57:21,543 --> 00:57:23,462 Here you go. Freshly made. 1224 00:57:23,545 --> 00:57:26,256 Thanks. It's been at least an hour since my last infusion. 1225 00:57:26,340 --> 00:57:29,676 So, I have all your paperwork. I'll make sure everything's in order. 1226 00:57:29,759 --> 00:57:32,304 - You can flip through this while you wait. - Thanks. 1227 00:57:37,517 --> 00:57:38,560 Really good coffee. 1228 00:57:38,643 --> 00:57:40,854 - Is it? - Yep. Strong. A little crunchy. 1229 00:57:40,938 --> 00:57:42,106 Good. Good. 1230 00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:46,068 Okay, I will take a look. 1231 00:57:51,323 --> 00:57:53,742 - You're supposed to be looking with me. - Sorry. 1232 00:57:53,825 --> 00:57:55,910 So, what are we looking at here? 1233 00:57:55,995 --> 00:57:57,912 - Potential surrogates. - Surrogates. Yes. 1234 00:57:57,997 --> 00:57:59,914 And these surrogates will... 1235 00:57:59,999 --> 00:58:01,666 - Carry the baby. - Our baby. 1236 00:58:01,750 --> 00:58:04,127 - Yes. They'll carry our baby. - I'm confused. 1237 00:58:04,211 --> 00:58:06,505 Am I supposed to be having sex with these women? 1238 00:58:06,588 --> 00:58:08,715 - What? - I don't wanna have sex with her. 1239 00:58:08,798 --> 00:58:11,051 No, you're not having sex with these women. 1240 00:58:11,135 --> 00:58:13,262 - What? You'd have sex with her? - No. 1241 00:58:13,345 --> 00:58:15,305 - How about her? - No. 1242 00:58:15,389 --> 00:58:16,431 She's holding a bat. 1243 00:58:16,515 --> 00:58:18,558 You could play softball and do it in the dugout. 1244 00:58:18,642 --> 00:58:21,145 I don't want to have sex with her or any of these women. 1245 00:58:21,228 --> 00:58:23,438 I don't want to have sex with anyone ever. 1246 00:58:23,522 --> 00:58:26,025 - Except me. - Lorelai, why are we here? 1247 00:58:26,108 --> 00:58:27,985 I tried to broach the subject of adoption. 1248 00:58:28,068 --> 00:58:29,819 I don't want to go to Bangladesh to get a baby. 1249 00:58:29,903 --> 00:58:31,696 I don't want to go to Woodbury to get a light bulb. 1250 00:58:31,780 --> 00:58:33,740 If you won't adopt, this may be our only option, 1251 00:58:33,823 --> 00:58:36,701 - and I don't want another picture window. - What? 1252 00:58:36,785 --> 00:58:39,329 When we remodeled the house, you wanted a picture window, 1253 00:58:39,413 --> 00:58:43,417 but it looked weird with the other windows and so you gave it up. You settled. 1254 00:58:43,500 --> 00:58:45,835 I do not remember wanting a picture window. 1255 00:58:45,919 --> 00:58:48,463 Well, you did. Now it's another thing on the list of 1256 00:58:48,547 --> 00:58:50,549 "things I don't have because I'm with Lorelai." 1257 00:58:50,632 --> 00:58:52,842 - Like peace. - And a picture window. 1258 00:58:52,926 --> 00:58:55,470 I do not want a picture window. 1259 00:58:55,554 --> 00:58:59,016 Moron! When I say "a VIP," I mean a VIP. 1260 00:58:59,099 --> 00:59:00,267 I got them coffee. 1261 00:59:00,350 --> 00:59:02,686 If we were Starbucks, you'd be employee of the month. 1262 00:59:02,769 --> 00:59:06,314 Since we're not, you're just the first Smith grad I've fired this week. 1263 00:59:06,898 --> 00:59:10,444 Lorelai! So great to see you! I am so sorry for the wait. 1264 00:59:10,527 --> 00:59:12,862 - Paris, that's fine. - Don't stand there shaking. Just go. 1265 00:59:12,946 --> 00:59:14,156 Apologize to your parents. 1266 00:59:14,239 --> 00:59:16,741 Tell them you'll pay them back for the semesters you studied 1267 00:59:16,825 --> 00:59:19,536 Buffy the Vampire Slayer's effect on the feminist agenda. 1268 00:59:19,619 --> 00:59:22,372 - Okay, so, hello, Luke. - Hi. 1269 00:59:22,456 --> 00:59:24,333 - You remember me. - You're hard to forget. 1270 00:59:24,416 --> 00:59:26,293 Flattering. Let's go. 1271 00:59:27,419 --> 00:59:31,465 Now, I rarely act as a case personal liaison anymore, 1272 00:59:31,548 --> 00:59:33,592 but when I heard it was you coming in, I said, 1273 00:59:33,675 --> 00:59:36,136 "That woman was practically my second mother. 1274 00:59:36,220 --> 00:59:38,055 No one else is handling this case." 1275 00:59:38,138 --> 00:59:40,724 Aw, that's very sweet of you, Paris. 1276 00:59:40,807 --> 00:59:43,393 So, the spiel. Dynasty Makers. 1277 00:59:43,477 --> 00:59:45,895 We are the largest full-service fertility 1278 00:59:45,979 --> 00:59:47,981 and surrogacy clinic in the Western Hemisphere. 1279 00:59:48,065 --> 00:59:51,443 No other company offers more services, medical and legal, 1280 00:59:51,526 --> 00:59:54,113 and no company has a higher approval rating. 1281 00:59:54,196 --> 00:59:55,322 Did you check Yelp? 1282 00:59:55,405 --> 00:59:56,823 - No. - Check Yelp. 1283 00:59:56,906 --> 00:59:58,825 - Oh. - So, you know how this works? 1284 00:59:58,908 --> 01:00:01,578 Uh, we look through there and pick? 1285 01:00:01,661 --> 01:00:04,123 Give me that. Bargain-basement breeders. 1286 01:00:04,206 --> 01:00:08,293 I'm not letting any of those bottle-service bimbos carry your baby. 1287 01:00:08,377 --> 01:00:11,463 No, for you I pull out the prime meat. 1288 01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:15,258 Am I blacking out? 1289 01:00:15,342 --> 01:00:17,051 How's Rory? She back from London? 1290 01:00:17,136 --> 01:00:18,637 She was, but she's there now. 1291 01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:20,680 - Hard to keep track of our girl, huh? - Yeah. 1292 01:00:20,764 --> 01:00:24,226 Okay. So, it's pretty cut and dry here. 1293 01:00:24,309 --> 01:00:27,896 We plant an egg in a viable body, we fertilize it and out comes a baby. 1294 01:00:27,979 --> 01:00:30,190 Bing bang boom. Have you thought about eggs? 1295 01:00:30,274 --> 01:00:33,318 - Uh... - Using eggs over age 44 with IVF, 1296 01:00:33,402 --> 01:00:36,571 the chances of having a baby is about 1% per try. 1297 01:00:36,655 --> 01:00:39,324 - Wow, super fun fact. - She keep you in stitches, this one? 1298 01:00:39,408 --> 01:00:42,035 Oh, yeah. Hey, how much is this gonna cost? 1299 01:00:42,119 --> 01:00:45,122 A lot. But, again, Lorelai's the only mother I ever had, 1300 01:00:45,205 --> 01:00:48,625 except for Nanny Soledad, so there's mondo discounts involved. 1301 01:00:48,708 --> 01:00:50,669 How much time did you spend with this girl? 1302 01:00:50,752 --> 01:00:52,129 - So, Luke. - Yeah. 1303 01:00:52,212 --> 01:00:53,297 How are the boys? 1304 01:00:53,380 --> 01:00:55,632 - What? What is she doing? - I don't know. 1305 01:00:55,715 --> 01:00:58,385 I'm good at visually sussing out the situation down there. 1306 01:00:58,468 --> 01:01:00,011 Please stop sussing. 1307 01:01:00,094 --> 01:01:03,432 From a cursory glance, you seem symmetrical and well-balanced. 1308 01:01:03,515 --> 01:01:05,184 Make sure he sticks with the boxers. 1309 01:01:05,267 --> 01:01:08,853 Okay, here's a sampling of what we've got. 1310 01:01:08,937 --> 01:01:12,232 Blondes, brunettes and redheads. 1311 01:01:12,316 --> 01:01:15,694 Tall, short, athletic, artsy. 1312 01:01:15,777 --> 01:01:19,323 We even got 'em with a little extra junk in the trunk, 1313 01:01:19,406 --> 01:01:21,450 if you secretly like 'em that way, Luke. 1314 01:01:21,533 --> 01:01:25,204 I'm sorry. Am I or am I not having sex with this woman? 1315 01:01:25,287 --> 01:01:26,705 That's a sick thought. 1316 01:01:26,788 --> 01:01:28,915 You're not having sex with her. She's married. 1317 01:01:28,998 --> 01:01:31,418 - You made it sound like... - We've got Jews, Christians, 1318 01:01:31,501 --> 01:01:34,588 Muslims, Hindus, atheists, one Wiccan, 1319 01:01:34,671 --> 01:01:37,299 and for a premium, you can get the cream of the crop, 1320 01:01:37,382 --> 01:01:39,133 top of the line, army wives. 1321 01:01:39,218 --> 01:01:42,053 Sturdy, reliable, great at packing. 1322 01:01:42,136 --> 01:01:46,015 Oh, wait, sorry. I have to take her off the available list. 1323 01:01:46,099 --> 01:01:49,603 She just conceived. Very high-profile client. 1324 01:01:49,686 --> 01:01:51,980 Let's just call him... Doogie Howser. 1325 01:01:52,063 --> 01:01:53,732 You mean Neil Patrick Harris? 1326 01:01:53,815 --> 01:01:55,567 Wow. Little louder, please. 1327 01:01:55,650 --> 01:01:59,279 Okay, so now his cover's blown, but, yes, it's Neil Patrick Harris. 1328 01:01:59,363 --> 01:02:01,740 - What kind of a cover... - It's Neil Patrick Harris. 1329 01:02:01,823 --> 01:02:03,450 Did you hear? It's Neil Patrick Harris. 1330 01:02:03,533 --> 01:02:05,577 - I did hear, yes. - Neil Patrick Harris. 1331 01:02:05,660 --> 01:02:09,206 - You look upset, Luke. - No. What makes you think I'm upset? 1332 01:02:09,289 --> 01:02:11,458 You're not excited about Neil Patrick Harris. 1333 01:02:11,541 --> 01:02:15,712 I'm very excited for Neil Patrick Harris if this is what he wants. 1334 01:02:15,795 --> 01:02:16,921 Is it not what you want? 1335 01:02:17,005 --> 01:02:18,172 - I... - I understand. 1336 01:02:18,257 --> 01:02:19,549 It's a big decision, having kids. 1337 01:02:19,633 --> 01:02:22,886 There's rewards, but also constant panic and worry. 1338 01:02:22,969 --> 01:02:25,389 Are they healthy? Does everything work? Are they smart? 1339 01:02:25,472 --> 01:02:29,226 McDonald's fry stations are filled with college-educated moderate achievers. 1340 01:02:29,309 --> 01:02:31,060 And then there's the lottery of nature. 1341 01:02:31,144 --> 01:02:32,812 I mean, I said to Neil, 1342 01:02:32,896 --> 01:02:35,815 "Are you prepared to have a really unattractive child 1343 01:02:35,899 --> 01:02:37,401 that would not look good on camera? 1344 01:02:37,484 --> 01:02:39,861 Would you be okay if your child 1345 01:02:39,944 --> 01:02:42,196 was not an actor but an agent?" 1346 01:02:42,281 --> 01:02:44,616 - I need to leave. - Luke, wait. 1347 01:02:46,826 --> 01:02:49,496 Oh. Sorry, Paris, I... 1348 01:02:49,579 --> 01:02:53,250 Yes. Go. Talk it through. I'll send you a DVD of my top picks. 1349 01:02:53,333 --> 01:02:55,335 I'll also include a copy of Gone Girl. 1350 01:02:55,418 --> 01:02:57,837 - NPH was great in that. - Thanks. 1351 01:03:00,590 --> 01:03:01,591 No. 1352 01:03:15,605 --> 01:03:17,774 Thank you, Francis. 1353 01:03:19,901 --> 01:03:22,195 Oh, sod it, bring the bottle. We're celebrating. 1354 01:03:24,531 --> 01:03:26,908 I love coming here because they hate that I do. 1355 01:03:26,991 --> 01:03:28,993 - Really? - They wouldn't let women in 1356 01:03:29,077 --> 01:03:31,330 until the mid '80s. It was only supposed to be 1357 01:03:31,413 --> 01:03:35,208 well-behaved wives with tiny feet, not hellions like myself. 1358 01:03:35,292 --> 01:03:37,544 I helped kick open those doors. 1359 01:03:37,627 --> 01:03:40,297 - Oh, thank you, love. - My pleasure, Ms. Shropshire. 1360 01:03:41,506 --> 01:03:44,092 So, to us. 1361 01:03:44,175 --> 01:03:46,052 Hellions in arms. 1362 01:03:48,262 --> 01:03:52,392 Mmm. I must tell you, I've had such amazing feedback 1363 01:03:52,476 --> 01:03:53,727 for the Talk of the Town piece. 1364 01:03:53,810 --> 01:03:55,604 Far more than for anything I've ever written. 1365 01:03:55,687 --> 01:03:57,063 Oh, I doubt that. 1366 01:03:57,146 --> 01:03:59,190 So, the book. 1367 01:03:59,273 --> 01:04:01,192 - Yes. - I go back and forth, 1368 01:04:01,275 --> 01:04:02,652 back and forth, you know. 1369 01:04:02,736 --> 01:04:04,863 I never really wanted to write about myself. 1370 01:04:04,946 --> 01:04:08,867 My fields are feminism, environmentalism, and who am I? 1371 01:04:10,535 --> 01:04:15,499 But if I found someone really like-minded who I could write it with, 1372 01:04:15,582 --> 01:04:19,711 somebody like yourself... Well, that's intriguing. 1373 01:04:19,794 --> 01:04:21,963 I've never done anything like this before. 1374 01:04:22,046 --> 01:04:24,466 I don't care about that. I only care that it's honest. 1375 01:04:24,549 --> 01:04:28,428 - I want to be seen as I am, warts and all. - I'm great with warts. 1376 01:04:28,512 --> 01:04:32,349 Even if I waver, if I let my vanity in the door, 1377 01:04:32,432 --> 01:04:34,393 you must remain steadfast. 1378 01:04:34,476 --> 01:04:37,228 Francis, what is that? 1379 01:04:37,311 --> 01:04:40,565 Uh, this is the fluke carpaccio with lime and chilies. 1380 01:04:40,649 --> 01:04:42,025 Is it? 1381 01:04:42,108 --> 01:04:44,653 And who's the genius who ordered this magnificent dish? 1382 01:04:44,736 --> 01:04:46,988 Uh, Dr. Reynolds over there. 1383 01:04:47,071 --> 01:04:48,698 Hmm... 1384 01:04:48,782 --> 01:04:50,909 Would it be possible for this particular plate 1385 01:04:50,992 --> 01:04:53,453 to go missing and for you to rush back 1386 01:04:53,537 --> 01:04:55,789 and get another one for the darling doctor over there? 1387 01:04:55,872 --> 01:04:57,416 Uh, of course, Naomi. 1388 01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:03,672 Oh, it's delicious. 1389 01:05:03,755 --> 01:05:06,591 Everything tastes so much better when it's stolen. 1390 01:05:06,675 --> 01:05:08,593 Mmm, that is good. 1391 01:05:08,677 --> 01:05:11,054 Mmm, so, let's talk time frame. 1392 01:05:11,137 --> 01:05:14,933 I think it'll be about eight weeks to work up a proposal for the publishers 1393 01:05:15,016 --> 01:05:16,643 and supply a sample chapter. 1394 01:05:16,726 --> 01:05:19,396 How much access can you give me? Interviews are everything. 1395 01:05:19,479 --> 01:05:22,566 Oh, full access, darling. Follow me everywhere except the loo. 1396 01:05:22,649 --> 01:05:25,151 Actually, the loo's fine, too. 1397 01:05:25,234 --> 01:05:28,279 - Francis, who's that burger for? - Um, Ms. Kipney. 1398 01:05:28,363 --> 01:05:31,449 Trust me, she won't enjoy it. Half of it's going to her dog. 1399 01:05:32,951 --> 01:05:35,995 So, um, the only thing left to discuss is financial stuff. 1400 01:05:36,079 --> 01:05:37,539 The lawyers can do that, right? 1401 01:05:37,622 --> 01:05:40,709 It's 50-50. Split down the middle. We're in this together. Yes? 1402 01:05:40,792 --> 01:05:42,168 Yes. 1403 01:05:42,251 --> 01:05:43,420 Right. 1404 01:05:43,503 --> 01:05:46,255 Now, keep your eyes peeled for dessert. 1405 01:05:48,382 --> 01:05:52,345 I can't believe it's only two o'clock. Two o'clock in the afternoon. 1406 01:05:52,429 --> 01:05:54,347 I feel like I've been awake for days. 1407 01:05:54,431 --> 01:05:58,309 It's the jet lag. And the bourbon. I drank straight bourbon. 1408 01:05:58,393 --> 01:06:00,728 I'm now a midday straight bourbon drinker. 1409 01:06:00,812 --> 01:06:04,566 I'm gonna have to keep up with Naomi if I'm going to write this book. 1410 01:06:04,649 --> 01:06:08,695 She drinks as fast as she talks and she never seems to get tipsy at all. 1411 01:06:08,778 --> 01:06:11,030 She seemed to get smarter and more coherent. 1412 01:06:11,114 --> 01:06:14,200 Or maybe she just seems smarter and more coherent. 1413 01:06:14,283 --> 01:06:15,409 This is great, right? 1414 01:06:15,494 --> 01:06:19,163 I mean, now I have something concrete to talk about at my Condé Nast meeting, 1415 01:06:19,247 --> 01:06:24,210 and she mentioned publishing excerpts in Vanity Fair, which would be amazing. 1416 01:06:24,293 --> 01:06:27,338 It's not really what I do, but it's good for now. 1417 01:06:28,256 --> 01:06:30,634 And it's money. Money is nice. 1418 01:06:30,717 --> 01:06:34,429 Now I have to hang out with her more to get a handle on the first few chapters 1419 01:06:34,513 --> 01:06:36,681 so we can bid it out and see who wants it. 1420 01:06:36,765 --> 01:06:39,267 That starts in a month, when she gets back from India. 1421 01:06:39,350 --> 01:06:41,978 Basically, I had a good day. How was your day? 1422 01:06:42,061 --> 01:06:44,313 Well, I had my dry cleaning delivered. 1423 01:06:44,397 --> 01:06:45,815 - Oh, I think I win. - I don't know. 1424 01:06:45,899 --> 01:06:47,400 I really like these pants, so... 1425 01:06:48,860 --> 01:06:50,945 - I'm glad it went well. - It did. 1426 01:06:51,029 --> 01:06:54,115 - Tonight, I'll take you out to celebrate. - I'd like that. 1427 01:06:54,198 --> 01:06:57,076 Tomorrow, I'll tell you all I've heard about Naomi Shropshire. 1428 01:06:57,160 --> 01:06:59,120 I don't care if she's difficult. 1429 01:06:59,203 --> 01:07:01,748 Oh, she's difficult and a little weird. 1430 01:07:01,831 --> 01:07:03,875 Well, I like weird. I was formed by weird. 1431 01:07:03,958 --> 01:07:06,044 It could be great, and you deserve that. 1432 01:07:06,127 --> 01:07:08,213 I do. I do deserve that. 1433 01:07:08,296 --> 01:07:10,674 Did I tell you she lost her shoes at the club? 1434 01:07:10,757 --> 01:07:13,217 - You did not. - I didn't notice until we were leaving. 1435 01:07:13,301 --> 01:07:16,304 She was walking as if she had shoes on. I mention it and she said, 1436 01:07:16,387 --> 01:07:19,933 "I left them somewhere." How do you do that? It's snowing outside. 1437 01:07:20,016 --> 01:07:22,060 - See? Weird. - Weird makes good copy. 1438 01:07:22,143 --> 01:07:25,522 - So does a great writer. - Those pants did put you in a good mood. 1439 01:07:27,816 --> 01:07:29,025 Do you have to go back to work? 1440 01:07:29,108 --> 01:07:31,235 The pants can't be the accomplishment of my day. 1441 01:07:31,319 --> 01:07:33,947 Plus, I have competition now. You're going to be an author. 1442 01:07:34,030 --> 01:07:36,575 - It's not like I'm John McPhee. - Yet. 1443 01:07:36,658 --> 01:07:38,827 I'll send the car for you at 8:00. 1444 01:07:38,910 --> 01:07:40,912 - I'm gonna use your desktop, okay? - All yours. 1445 01:07:40,995 --> 01:07:44,290 - Where are those boxes I sent here? - The maid stuffed them in the closet. 1446 01:07:44,374 --> 01:07:46,334 - I need to look for something. - Your lucky outfit? 1447 01:07:46,417 --> 01:07:47,501 Do not mock. 1448 01:07:47,586 --> 01:07:49,128 I am not mocking. It's a great outfit. 1449 01:07:49,212 --> 01:07:51,422 You were wearing it when I saw you in Hamburg. 1450 01:07:52,799 --> 01:07:55,969 Hey, is there anything in here that you don't want me to see? 1451 01:07:56,052 --> 01:07:59,263 - Like body parts? - That would be on the list, sure. 1452 01:07:59,347 --> 01:08:02,851 No, like, uh... other girl's things. 1453 01:08:02,934 --> 01:08:04,561 - All clear. - Okay. 1454 01:08:04,644 --> 01:08:07,689 Hey... I wouldn't do that. 1455 01:08:07,981 --> 01:08:10,191 Leave things around for you just to... 1456 01:08:10,274 --> 01:08:12,235 - I wasn't accusing... - I know. I'm just... 1457 01:08:13,319 --> 01:08:17,323 Look, we have an agreement. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. 1458 01:08:17,407 --> 01:08:18,533 We do. 1459 01:08:19,533 --> 01:08:22,120 And when we leave Vegas, we forget about Vegas 1460 01:08:22,203 --> 01:08:25,081 until we're back in Vegas and then it's just us in Vegas until... 1461 01:08:25,164 --> 01:08:26,082 Throw me a rope, man. 1462 01:08:28,126 --> 01:08:29,085 I'll see you at 8:00. 1463 01:08:33,131 --> 01:08:35,675 - Your phone. - What's it say? 1464 01:08:35,759 --> 01:08:37,636 "Paul dinner. Don't forget." 1465 01:08:37,719 --> 01:08:40,054 - Oh, crap. - That's a lot of exclamation points. 1466 01:08:40,138 --> 01:08:42,306 - I forgot. - It was the excitement about my pants. 1467 01:08:42,390 --> 01:08:44,642 - Go. Vegas. - But... Yes. Vegas. 1468 01:08:46,645 --> 01:08:49,230 I've got to break up with this guy. 1469 01:08:57,571 --> 01:09:00,617 - Excuse me, your password? - Wafflehousebutterbob. 1470 01:09:00,700 --> 01:09:02,493 - Cute. - Isn't it, though? 1471 01:09:02,576 --> 01:09:04,203 Okay, I'm here now. 1472 01:09:04,287 --> 01:09:06,956 Uh-huh. You two, park it over there. 1473 01:09:07,040 --> 01:09:10,918 No, there is no return policy. What's she going to return? It's a baby. 1474 01:09:11,335 --> 01:09:12,712 I'll call and see if she wants it, 1475 01:09:12,796 --> 01:09:15,423 but last time it was Brad who put the kibosh on it. 1476 01:09:15,506 --> 01:09:17,050 - Hello, Luke. - Paris, hey. 1477 01:09:17,133 --> 01:09:19,135 Could you bring them a salad, no croutons? 1478 01:09:19,218 --> 01:09:20,929 Don't let them con you into Diet Cokes. 1479 01:09:21,012 --> 01:09:24,390 - I wanted to apologize for the other day. - No need. 1480 01:09:24,473 --> 01:09:25,684 I've been in this racket for years 1481 01:09:25,767 --> 01:09:28,394 and sometimes I'm a little too "let's get down to it." 1482 01:09:28,477 --> 01:09:30,772 - Think I may have scared you a bit. - Not at all. 1483 01:09:30,855 --> 01:09:34,317 Look, you just need to know I'm good. 1484 01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:36,444 I'm the Pablo Escobar of the fertility world. 1485 01:09:36,527 --> 01:09:38,988 I move the best product, and I would like to help. 1486 01:09:39,072 --> 01:09:40,865 - I appreciate that, but... - I get it. 1487 01:09:40,949 --> 01:09:43,242 You're a small-town boy. You get your milk from a cow. 1488 01:09:43,326 --> 01:09:45,578 Actually, everybody gets their milk from a cow. 1489 01:09:45,662 --> 01:09:48,122 So I thought I'd make it a little more homey for you. 1490 01:09:48,206 --> 01:09:49,749 Girls, I'd like to you meet Luke Danes. 1491 01:09:49,833 --> 01:09:51,960 Jill and Jane are two of my top breeders. 1492 01:09:52,043 --> 01:09:53,169 Excuse me? 1493 01:09:53,252 --> 01:09:55,338 I thought you could all sit and talk. 1494 01:09:55,421 --> 01:09:58,007 Ask them questions. Challenge Jill to an arm wrestle. 1495 01:09:58,091 --> 01:10:00,218 I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. 1496 01:10:05,598 --> 01:10:06,808 Dragonfly Inn. 1497 01:10:06,891 --> 01:10:08,351 Michel, put Lorelai on the phone. 1498 01:10:08,434 --> 01:10:10,478 - Who is calling? - Michel! 1499 01:10:10,561 --> 01:10:13,272 Oh, Luke. How nice to hear your siren call. 1500 01:10:13,356 --> 01:10:17,568 Find Lorelai and tell her that there are two arm-wrestling breeders here 1501 01:10:17,651 --> 01:10:19,863 - and I need her help! - What? 1502 01:10:21,906 --> 01:10:23,116 Paris? 1503 01:10:23,199 --> 01:10:25,326 - Rory, hi! - What are you doing here? 1504 01:10:25,409 --> 01:10:26,745 - Oh, I'm working. - Here? 1505 01:10:26,828 --> 01:10:28,329 Wherever there's an old or defective uterus. 1506 01:10:28,412 --> 01:10:30,749 - I did not hang up, Michel! - You eating? 1507 01:10:30,832 --> 01:10:33,376 No, I'm just grabbing coffee. So jet-lagged. 1508 01:10:33,459 --> 01:10:35,962 I'm heading to your place. Oh, can I crash at your place? 1509 01:10:36,045 --> 01:10:38,297 - Absolutely, you have the key. - Find her! 1510 01:10:38,381 --> 01:10:40,842 I have to run an errand first. You wanna come with? 1511 01:10:40,925 --> 01:10:44,762 Sure. Ladies, I'll be back in a few. Close the deal. 1512 01:10:45,805 --> 01:10:48,557 Excuse me? I don't think the Wi-Fi is working. 1513 01:10:48,641 --> 01:10:51,185 Capital "B" on "butter." Yeah, I'm still here, Michel. 1514 01:10:51,269 --> 01:10:53,312 - Luke! - Not now, Taylor. 1515 01:10:53,396 --> 01:10:55,940 Well, then when? I have called, I've left messages, 1516 01:10:56,024 --> 01:10:58,234 I even slipped notes under your door at night. 1517 01:10:58,317 --> 01:10:59,778 Which I turned over to the FBI. 1518 01:10:59,861 --> 01:11:03,572 I know for a fact that you have had septic tank issues. 1519 01:11:03,656 --> 01:11:06,450 Taylor, do you see people in here trying to eat? 1520 01:11:06,534 --> 01:11:08,745 I do. And you know what happens after they eat? 1521 01:11:08,828 --> 01:11:10,872 - Oh, jeez... - It's still not working. 1522 01:11:10,955 --> 01:11:14,500 Luke, I love this town. Do you love this town? 1523 01:11:14,583 --> 01:11:15,626 - No. - Excuse me. 1524 01:11:15,709 --> 01:11:17,711 Could the capital "B" be on "bob," not "butter"? 1525 01:11:17,796 --> 01:11:21,049 I think this town is destined for greatness. 1526 01:11:21,132 --> 01:11:22,759 All the pieces are there. 1527 01:11:22,842 --> 01:11:25,344 It's just a matter of finding that special something 1528 01:11:25,428 --> 01:11:27,471 - to put it over the top. - Like a sewer system. 1529 01:11:27,555 --> 01:11:30,099 Yes, because when you have a sewer system, 1530 01:11:30,183 --> 01:11:33,061 then you're part of something bigger than yourself. 1531 01:11:33,144 --> 01:11:36,480 - Like the universe, only more hygienic. - Taylor... 1532 01:11:36,564 --> 01:11:38,607 I'm sorry. The password is still not working. 1533 01:11:38,691 --> 01:11:42,403 Of course the password's not working! It's fake! 1534 01:11:42,486 --> 01:11:44,697 He has been giving out fake passwords 1535 01:11:44,781 --> 01:11:47,366 ever since he got Wi-Fi in this damn place! 1536 01:11:47,450 --> 01:11:49,577 How stupid are you people anyway? 1537 01:11:49,660 --> 01:11:51,454 He doesn't want to give out his password 1538 01:11:51,537 --> 01:11:54,290 because he doesn't want you here checking your Facebook, 1539 01:11:54,373 --> 01:11:57,752 or answering your e-mails, or YouTubing Zoella, 1540 01:11:57,836 --> 01:11:59,712 or whatever the hell it is you're doing. 1541 01:11:59,796 --> 01:12:04,342 This isn't your office. It's a diner! Go home! 1542 01:12:04,425 --> 01:12:07,178 Pay for Wi-Fi! I do. 1543 01:12:07,261 --> 01:12:09,513 I... can't... 1544 01:12:09,597 --> 01:12:12,058 You know what? Never mind. 1545 01:12:12,141 --> 01:12:16,103 I was wrong. You don't deserve perpetually unclogged toilets. 1546 01:12:24,612 --> 01:12:26,030 Taylor! 1547 01:12:29,575 --> 01:12:30,659 Really? 1548 01:12:32,453 --> 01:12:33,872 Now that I've gotten... 1549 01:12:36,916 --> 01:12:38,626 Hell of a week. 1550 01:12:38,709 --> 01:12:41,462 ♪ Oh, friends ♪ 1551 01:12:41,545 --> 01:12:45,049 ♪ Waving from a passenger train ♪ 1552 01:12:45,967 --> 01:12:48,386 ♪ Oh, boy ♪ 1553 01:12:48,469 --> 01:12:52,681 ♪ Familiar to me in impossible ways ♪ 1554 01:12:52,765 --> 01:12:55,518 ♪ A new day ♪ 1555 01:12:55,601 --> 01:13:00,731 ♪ A picture in my hands Of who I used to be ♪ 1556 01:13:00,814 --> 01:13:02,150 - Hey! - Crap! 1557 01:13:02,233 --> 01:13:03,442 Come back here! 1558 01:13:03,526 --> 01:13:05,153 Stop it! What is wrong with you? 1559 01:13:05,236 --> 01:13:07,906 I told you! My town, my corner! 1560 01:13:07,989 --> 01:13:09,365 But I'm your sister! 1561 01:13:09,448 --> 01:13:11,242 - No proof of that. - Ask Mom! 1562 01:13:11,325 --> 01:13:13,827 Mom lies! You better run, little sister! 1563 01:13:13,912 --> 01:13:17,248 It was over the minute he wanted to do something creative. 1564 01:13:17,331 --> 01:13:19,876 Wow, you and Doyle split. 1565 01:13:19,959 --> 01:13:22,921 He's a screenwriter now. Have you been to the movies lately? 1566 01:13:23,004 --> 01:13:25,381 - I know. - Suddenly he's in jeans 1567 01:13:25,464 --> 01:13:29,468 and wearing faded $200 rock T-shirts with bands on them he's never seen. 1568 01:13:29,552 --> 01:13:32,471 He's flying out to "the coast," as if this is not a coast. 1569 01:13:32,555 --> 01:13:35,016 He drinks vodka because it has less carbs. 1570 01:13:35,099 --> 01:13:39,520 Then he started selling things and I realized, "This is going to stick." 1571 01:13:39,603 --> 01:13:41,105 I am so sorry. 1572 01:13:41,189 --> 01:13:43,441 It's fine. I'll kill him in court. 1573 01:13:43,524 --> 01:13:44,567 Sure. 1574 01:13:44,650 --> 01:13:47,236 I'll be using that Def Leppard T-shirt to clean my windows. 1575 01:13:47,320 --> 01:13:49,780 I've been waiting a half hour! It's freezing! 1576 01:13:49,863 --> 01:13:53,117 You shouldn't have four-starred me last time. 1577 01:13:53,201 --> 01:13:55,536 Don't you maybe wanna try to work it out nicely? 1578 01:13:55,619 --> 01:13:59,165 You guys have kids and you were a good team at one point. 1579 01:13:59,248 --> 01:14:01,918 That was before Brett Ratner gave him the keys to his pool house. 1580 01:14:02,001 --> 01:14:06,172 Okay, ladies. You have arrived. 1581 01:14:06,255 --> 01:14:09,717 - Thanks, Kirk. - You're welcome. Come again. 1582 01:14:09,800 --> 01:14:13,012 - And does Lane have an extension cord? - I'll see. 1583 01:14:13,930 --> 01:14:15,473 I know you guys were friends, 1584 01:14:15,556 --> 01:14:18,059 but if push came to shove, and we had to make T-shirts... 1585 01:14:18,142 --> 01:14:20,103 - Team Paris all the way. - Thanks. 1586 01:14:20,186 --> 01:14:22,730 Can you say he felt you up at a party for the deposition? 1587 01:14:22,813 --> 01:14:23,647 No. 1588 01:14:23,731 --> 01:14:26,650 You're all I've got. Our nanny looks like Benicio Del Toro. 1589 01:14:26,734 --> 01:14:27,735 Oh, you're here. 1590 01:14:27,818 --> 01:14:30,238 Remember to call my mom to rate me! 1591 01:14:34,783 --> 01:14:35,909 Lane, you remember Paris. 1592 01:14:35,994 --> 01:14:37,453 - I do. Hi. - Hi. 1593 01:14:37,536 --> 01:14:40,539 - Um, do you still need your boxes? - Yes, definitely. 1594 01:14:41,457 --> 01:14:43,167 Oh, Kirk, come on! 1595 01:14:44,127 --> 01:14:46,587 - I had Zach pull them out for you. - You're welcome. 1596 01:14:46,670 --> 01:14:48,922 - Thanks, Zach. - Don't look at me. I'm not me. 1597 01:14:49,007 --> 01:14:51,092 - What are you trying to find? - My lucky outfit. 1598 01:14:51,175 --> 01:14:53,970 - Is it, like, a cheerleader uniform? - Yes, exactly like that. 1599 01:14:54,053 --> 01:14:55,304 - Is this your house? - Yep. 1600 01:14:55,388 --> 01:14:57,265 - Who gets it when you split? - What? 1601 01:14:57,348 --> 01:14:58,808 - Is he him yet? - No! 1602 01:14:58,891 --> 01:15:00,518 Rory, are you staying in the spare room? 1603 01:15:00,601 --> 01:15:02,686 - No, it's all yours, Brian. - Did you get beer? 1604 01:15:02,770 --> 01:15:04,022 There should be some in there. 1605 01:15:04,105 --> 01:15:06,440 - Uh, can I help? - Um, yeah. Look through this box. 1606 01:15:06,524 --> 01:15:08,359 I'm looking for a red dress, full skirt. 1607 01:15:08,442 --> 01:15:12,071 Okay, red dress, full skirt. Oh, this is nice. Wear this. 1608 01:15:12,155 --> 01:15:13,614 No, it has to be my lucky outfit. 1609 01:15:13,697 --> 01:15:16,784 My Condé Nast meeting is in two days and I have to find that outfit. 1610 01:15:16,867 --> 01:15:19,036 - Is he him yet? - No, he's not! 1611 01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:21,372 I didn't ask for this promotion, okay? Back off. 1612 01:15:21,455 --> 01:15:24,000 There's nothing wrong with bringing home the bacon. 1613 01:15:24,083 --> 01:15:25,626 Well, it's not in here. 1614 01:15:25,709 --> 01:15:27,878 Okay. I'm me. 1615 01:15:27,961 --> 01:15:30,506 Steve! Kwan! Come in here! 1616 01:15:30,589 --> 01:15:32,633 Help your Aunt Rory find her outfit. 1617 01:15:32,716 --> 01:15:34,218 - Who did your work? - What? 1618 01:15:34,302 --> 01:15:36,220 - Them. Friedman? - I... 1619 01:15:36,304 --> 01:15:38,722 - Rasouli? Mendelssohn? - I just had them. 1620 01:15:38,806 --> 01:15:39,932 Fine. Don't tell me. 1621 01:15:42,518 --> 01:15:43,436 Hey. 1622 01:15:43,519 --> 01:15:45,563 To answer your 43,000 frantic voicemails, 1623 01:15:45,646 --> 01:15:47,523 you do not have anything at the dry cleaners. 1624 01:15:47,606 --> 01:15:50,484 - Rats. - Seriously, it was Kopelson, right? 1625 01:15:50,568 --> 01:15:53,237 It wasn't natural. Your husband's junk isn't symmetrical. 1626 01:15:53,320 --> 01:15:54,697 Wait, what? 1627 01:15:55,573 --> 01:15:58,076 It's not here. Maybe it's at Grandma's. 1628 01:15:58,159 --> 01:15:59,868 - How was London? - Great. 1629 01:15:59,952 --> 01:16:01,995 - Where'd you stay? - With Didi. Same as always. 1630 01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:06,125 I love that you have a friend named Didi. Makes you sound so Fridays on ABC. 1631 01:16:06,209 --> 01:16:07,626 Have you spoken to Grandma lately? 1632 01:16:07,710 --> 01:16:11,964 - Why? - It's been quiet regarding the blowup. 1633 01:16:12,048 --> 01:16:13,674 - I've been busy. - You should call her. 1634 01:16:13,757 --> 01:16:16,009 - De-ice this situation. - I will. 1635 01:16:16,094 --> 01:16:17,928 - When? - When it feels right. 1636 01:16:18,011 --> 01:16:20,556 - You are both being stubborn. - Well, she started it. 1637 01:16:20,639 --> 01:16:23,017 Aren't we supposed to cut her all sorts of slack right now? 1638 01:16:23,101 --> 01:16:24,352 I mean, she lost her husband. 1639 01:16:24,435 --> 01:16:26,854 Did you ever imagine there'd be a Grandma without a Grandpa? 1640 01:16:28,064 --> 01:16:30,191 - No. - Check on her. 1641 01:16:30,274 --> 01:16:31,692 Fine. I'll check on her. 1642 01:16:31,775 --> 01:16:34,112 Good. Maybe while you're there, you can find my outfit. 1643 01:16:34,195 --> 01:16:37,030 Wow, the student surpasses the master. 1644 01:16:38,532 --> 01:16:41,619 - Great. - What? 1645 01:16:41,702 --> 01:16:43,662 My Condé Nast meeting got pushed again. 1646 01:16:43,746 --> 01:16:47,416 Aw, sorry, hon. So you don't need that outfit after all? 1647 01:16:47,500 --> 01:16:49,377 You're going. 1648 01:16:51,003 --> 01:16:52,505 - Oh, man. - What now? 1649 01:16:52,588 --> 01:16:53,922 Poor Paul. 1650 01:16:54,006 --> 01:16:56,800 - Hey, you have got to... - I know, I know. 1651 01:17:01,430 --> 01:17:03,516 - All right, let's do this. - Yes! 1652 01:17:03,599 --> 01:17:05,601 So, are they serious? 1653 01:17:05,684 --> 01:17:06,810 One, two! 1654 01:17:17,530 --> 01:17:22,785 ♪ Pretty soon now You know I'm gonna make a comeback ♪ 1655 01:17:22,868 --> 01:17:25,413 ♪ And like the birds and the bees In the trees ♪ 1656 01:17:25,496 --> 01:17:27,665 ♪ It's a sure-fire smash ♪ 1657 01:17:29,291 --> 01:17:33,003 ♪ I'll speak To the masses through the media ♪ 1658 01:17:34,255 --> 01:17:38,676 ♪ But if you got anything to say to me You better say it with cash ♪ 1659 01:17:39,802 --> 01:17:42,763 ♪ 'Cause I've got the trash And you got the cash ♪ 1660 01:17:42,846 --> 01:17:45,349 ♪ Baby, we should get along fine ♪ 1661 01:17:45,433 --> 01:17:48,311 ♪ So give me all your money You know I think I'm funny ♪ 1662 01:17:48,394 --> 01:17:51,522 ♪ Can't you see me smiling? Can't you see me laugh, I'm the man ♪ 1663 01:17:51,605 --> 01:17:53,524 ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪ 1664 01:17:53,607 --> 01:17:54,608 ♪ I'm the man ♪ 1665 01:17:54,692 --> 01:17:56,360 - ♪ That gave you the hula hoop ♪ - ♪ I'm the man ♪ 1666 01:17:56,444 --> 01:17:57,611 ♪ I'm the man ♪ 1667 01:17:57,695 --> 01:17:58,987 ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪ 1668 01:17:59,071 --> 01:18:01,740 ♪ I'm the man that gave you the yo-yo ♪ 1669 01:18:03,201 --> 01:18:06,036 - ♪ I'm the man ♪ - ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪ 1670 01:18:06,119 --> 01:18:08,831 - ♪ I'm the man ♪ - ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪ 1671 01:18:08,914 --> 01:18:11,750 - ♪ I'm the man, yeah ♪ - ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪ 1672 01:18:18,966 --> 01:18:21,594 - Mom? - Hola, hello. 1673 01:18:32,688 --> 01:18:33,856 Mom! 1674 01:18:38,611 --> 01:18:40,529 Take that box and put it downstairs. 1675 01:18:40,613 --> 01:18:42,531 Come back up here and get these presents. 1676 01:18:42,615 --> 01:18:45,951 - Mom, are you here? - Lorelai? I didn't know you were coming. 1677 01:18:46,034 --> 01:18:47,828 Holy shit! 1678 01:18:47,911 --> 01:18:50,914 Berta, these boxes need to go outside. 1679 01:18:50,998 --> 01:18:53,000 - What? What? What? - They go outside. 1680 01:18:53,083 --> 01:18:55,336 Take the boxes. Oh, good. 1681 01:18:55,419 --> 01:18:57,045 - Did you call? - Did I? 1682 01:18:57,129 --> 01:18:58,922 Because today is a very bad day. 1683 01:18:59,006 --> 01:19:01,133 What is going on? Who are all these people? 1684 01:19:01,217 --> 01:19:04,553 - Well, that's Berta. - I know Berta. 1685 01:19:04,637 --> 01:19:05,679 That's Berta's husband. 1686 01:19:05,763 --> 01:19:08,266 No, that's Berta's husband, that's his brother, 1687 01:19:08,349 --> 01:19:11,310 - and I think those are someone's parents. - And the kids? 1688 01:19:11,394 --> 01:19:14,187 I thought they were all hers, but now I'm not sure. 1689 01:19:14,272 --> 01:19:15,356 No, this goes. 1690 01:19:15,439 --> 01:19:19,067 Mom... what... Can we get a minute? 1691 01:19:19,151 --> 01:19:23,281 Fine. Uh, could you all give us a minute alone? 1692 01:19:23,364 --> 01:19:25,073 Mom, "alone" looks a lot like gas. 1693 01:19:25,157 --> 01:19:27,368 I don't know how else to communicate with them. 1694 01:19:27,451 --> 01:19:30,329 Leonard Marlin's daughter works at the UN. I had her come over. 1695 01:19:30,413 --> 01:19:32,331 She doesn't know what language they speak, either. 1696 01:19:32,415 --> 01:19:34,292 Mom, what is going on here? 1697 01:19:34,375 --> 01:19:36,585 - You mean with the house? - Start with the house. 1698 01:19:36,669 --> 01:19:38,671 I'm decluttering my life. 1699 01:19:38,754 --> 01:19:40,298 - You know Marie Kondo? - No. 1700 01:19:40,381 --> 01:19:41,632 - You don't? - No. 1701 01:19:41,715 --> 01:19:43,384 - She's Japanese. - Okay. 1702 01:19:43,467 --> 01:19:44,968 - You still don't know her? - She's Japanese? 1703 01:19:45,052 --> 01:19:46,094 - Yes. - No. 1704 01:19:46,178 --> 01:19:49,598 She wrote a best-selling book on decluttering. So, I'm decluttering. 1705 01:19:49,682 --> 01:19:51,559 I was starting to feel claustrophobic. 1706 01:19:51,642 --> 01:19:55,020 I'd wake up in the night feeling like the house is closing in on me. 1707 01:19:55,103 --> 01:19:57,565 - Like I couldn't breathe, you know? - Oh, yes, I know. 1708 01:19:57,648 --> 01:20:00,276 One of the ladies in my garden club bought this book, 1709 01:20:00,359 --> 01:20:02,528 The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. 1710 01:20:02,611 --> 01:20:05,573 She said it made everything better. Are you paying attention? 1711 01:20:05,656 --> 01:20:08,326 - The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up? - You know it? 1712 01:20:08,409 --> 01:20:10,328 Written by that Japanese woman, Marie Kondo? 1713 01:20:10,411 --> 01:20:11,579 - Yes. - No. 1714 01:20:11,662 --> 01:20:13,121 Well, people swear by her. 1715 01:20:13,205 --> 01:20:17,501 She tells you to take everything you own and put it in piles on the ground. 1716 01:20:17,585 --> 01:20:20,629 Then you pick up each possession and you hold it. 1717 01:20:20,713 --> 01:20:24,508 If it brings you joy, you keep it, and if it doesn't, out it goes. 1718 01:20:26,093 --> 01:20:27,595 No joy. 1719 01:20:27,678 --> 01:20:30,389 - He's taking the dining room chairs. - They don't bring me joy. 1720 01:20:30,473 --> 01:20:34,643 This box needs to be taped. 1721 01:20:34,727 --> 01:20:36,895 Oh, by the way, if I get a terminal disease, 1722 01:20:36,979 --> 01:20:40,065 I want to move to Washington State to die. They let you do that there. 1723 01:20:40,148 --> 01:20:41,525 Die? They let you die? 1724 01:20:41,609 --> 01:20:43,861 With dignity and in your own time frame. 1725 01:20:43,944 --> 01:20:47,280 I'll die there and then you need to ship me back here for burial, 1726 01:20:47,365 --> 01:20:49,992 which costs a fortune, I found out. 1727 01:20:50,075 --> 01:20:54,287 So, in the safe there's an envelope labeled "body-shipping cash." 1728 01:20:54,372 --> 01:20:56,039 I could also go to Vermont, 1729 01:20:56,123 --> 01:20:58,834 but we vacationed there once and it was terrible. 1730 01:20:58,917 --> 01:21:00,043 Squirrels. 1731 01:21:00,127 --> 01:21:02,295 So, Washington it is. 1732 01:21:03,714 --> 01:21:04,840 It's the middle of the day. 1733 01:21:04,923 --> 01:21:06,967 Taste it. See if it brings you joy. 1734 01:21:08,719 --> 01:21:12,055 Oh, God. I haven't sat down in six hours. 1735 01:21:12,139 --> 01:21:13,349 Cheers. 1736 01:21:17,561 --> 01:21:20,022 So come on, Mom, talk to me. 1737 01:21:21,023 --> 01:21:23,025 Why are you wearing jeans? 1738 01:21:23,108 --> 01:21:25,569 - What? - Because it's terrifying. 1739 01:21:25,653 --> 01:21:27,655 I started this process with my closet. 1740 01:21:27,738 --> 01:21:30,449 Nothing I owned brought me joy, so I ran out of clothes. 1741 01:21:30,533 --> 01:21:31,784 I don't know where I got these. 1742 01:21:31,867 --> 01:21:33,827 - They're mine. - They are? 1743 01:21:33,911 --> 01:21:36,288 Did you not notice the Billy Squier patch on the butt? 1744 01:21:36,372 --> 01:21:39,583 - You can have them back. - I have not been pining for them. 1745 01:21:39,667 --> 01:21:41,919 I have to get back to work. Kitchen's next. 1746 01:21:42,002 --> 01:21:43,837 Stop. You're not gonna have anything left. 1747 01:21:43,921 --> 01:21:46,507 That's okay. What I do have will bring me joy. 1748 01:21:46,590 --> 01:21:47,800 Mom... 1749 01:21:49,259 --> 01:21:51,303 nothing is gonna bring you joy right now. 1750 01:21:51,887 --> 01:21:54,306 Nothing. Your husband just died. 1751 01:21:54,390 --> 01:21:58,727 When some time passes and you realize you've given away all of your stuff, 1752 01:21:58,811 --> 01:22:00,813 you're going to track down and kill Marie Kondo. 1753 01:22:00,896 --> 01:22:03,190 Then you're gonna go to jail wearing those jeans, 1754 01:22:03,273 --> 01:22:06,610 and the Winchester Mystery Family will be living here in your ball gowns. 1755 01:22:08,361 --> 01:22:10,531 - I don't know how to do this. - Do what? 1756 01:22:10,614 --> 01:22:12,866 - Live my life. - Oh, Mom... 1757 01:22:12,950 --> 01:22:14,785 I don't know what to do or where to go. 1758 01:22:14,868 --> 01:22:16,954 I've forgotten which side of the bed to sleep on. 1759 01:22:17,037 --> 01:22:19,498 I was married for 50 years. 1760 01:22:19,582 --> 01:22:20,999 Half of me is gone. 1761 01:22:22,167 --> 01:22:23,669 Ah, you don't understand. 1762 01:22:23,752 --> 01:22:26,254 - I understand. - You can't understand. You're not married. 1763 01:22:26,338 --> 01:22:29,174 - Luke and I are as good as married. - No, you're roommates. 1764 01:22:29,257 --> 01:22:31,719 Someday you'll go off and find another roommate. 1765 01:22:31,802 --> 01:22:34,721 I had a real partner for 50 years and now I'm alone. 1766 01:22:38,767 --> 01:22:40,686 Are you still going to that grief group? 1767 01:22:40,769 --> 01:22:42,980 - Oh, God, no. - Why not? 1768 01:22:43,063 --> 01:22:45,232 All those women with red noses and Skechers. 1769 01:22:45,315 --> 01:22:48,569 - All they do is sit around and complain. - What an annoying grief group. 1770 01:22:48,652 --> 01:22:51,530 When it's my turn, there's no time left to talk about me. 1771 01:22:51,614 --> 01:22:53,949 - Right. - I have problems. I can't help them. 1772 01:22:54,032 --> 01:22:57,077 Well, what about seeing someone one-on-one? 1773 01:22:57,661 --> 01:22:59,705 - What do you mean? - You know, just you and them. 1774 01:22:59,788 --> 01:23:01,499 - Who? - Just a person. 1775 01:23:01,582 --> 01:23:03,459 - What kind of person? - A normal person 1776 01:23:03,542 --> 01:23:06,003 with an office and a prescription pad. 1777 01:23:06,086 --> 01:23:08,213 - You mean a psychiatrist. - That could work, too. 1778 01:23:08,296 --> 01:23:11,258 - You want me to go to therapy. - Till you get back on your feet. 1779 01:23:11,341 --> 01:23:14,052 I knew it. You have been trying to get me to a therapist 1780 01:23:14,136 --> 01:23:15,971 ever since you saw that Tony Soprano show. 1781 01:23:16,054 --> 01:23:18,098 I have not. He did make it look cool though, right? 1782 01:23:18,181 --> 01:23:20,225 - No. - What's the big deal? 1783 01:23:20,308 --> 01:23:21,560 I'm not crazy. 1784 01:23:21,644 --> 01:23:24,396 No. You're in pain. This is uncharted territory. 1785 01:23:24,480 --> 01:23:26,690 If it might help, what's the harm? 1786 01:23:28,192 --> 01:23:30,861 - I'll think about it. - Okay. But really consider it. 1787 01:23:31,862 --> 01:23:33,989 - I will. - And if you do it, commit. 1788 01:23:34,072 --> 01:23:35,323 You know, really go for it. 1789 01:23:35,407 --> 01:23:37,034 - I will. - Jump in with both feet. 1790 01:23:37,117 --> 01:23:40,078 Five, six days a week. Really Woody Allen the hell out of it. 1791 01:23:40,162 --> 01:23:42,372 - I got it. - 'Cause he's totally normal now. 1792 01:23:42,455 --> 01:23:43,957 I promise, Lorelai. 1793 01:23:47,252 --> 01:23:49,213 I'd better try to get my bedroom set back. 1794 01:23:49,922 --> 01:23:52,841 Okay, but first, don't you think you want to... 1795 01:23:52,925 --> 01:23:53,926 What? 1796 01:23:55,302 --> 01:23:57,012 Oh, God, yes. 1797 01:24:13,821 --> 01:24:15,363 ♪ Hey, sweet Annie ♪ 1798 01:24:15,447 --> 01:24:17,407 ♪ Don't take it so bad ♪ 1799 01:24:18,784 --> 01:24:21,912 ♪ You know the summer's coming soon ♪ 1800 01:24:23,288 --> 01:24:28,251 ♪ Though the interstate is choking Under salty, dirty sand ♪ 1801 01:24:28,335 --> 01:24:32,047 ♪ And it seems the sun Is hiding from the moon ♪ 1802 01:24:33,465 --> 01:24:38,511 ♪ The snow is coming down On our New England town ♪ 1803 01:24:38,596 --> 01:24:42,307 ♪ And it's been falling all day long... ♪ 1804 01:24:43,475 --> 01:24:44,727 Oy! Danesy-boy! 1805 01:24:44,810 --> 01:24:48,480 So dressing up of the dog extends to outside of the house now, huh? 1806 01:24:48,564 --> 01:24:50,816 He wanted to go public. It's a whole new world. 1807 01:24:50,899 --> 01:24:52,943 - Uh-huh. - I can only support with love, 1808 01:24:53,026 --> 01:24:54,027 not judgment. 1809 01:24:54,111 --> 01:24:55,738 - So that's me. - Yeah. 1810 01:24:55,821 --> 01:24:58,073 - And that's... - It's his order pad and pencil. 1811 01:24:58,156 --> 01:25:00,075 Sure, sure. And the baseball cap? 1812 01:25:00,158 --> 01:25:01,785 His head's too big. None of yours fit. 1813 01:25:01,869 --> 01:25:04,287 - Oh, okay. Let's get a drink. - Okay. 1814 01:25:04,371 --> 01:25:05,497 My man! 1815 01:25:07,249 --> 01:25:08,876 - Do I want to know what that's... - No. 1816 01:25:08,959 --> 01:25:10,210 You don't. 1817 01:25:10,293 --> 01:25:11,754 Okay. Oh. 1818 01:25:11,837 --> 01:25:14,297 - What? - Uh, nothing. 1819 01:25:14,381 --> 01:25:16,592 - What's up? - It's just Paris 1820 01:25:16,675 --> 01:25:19,052 sending me pictures of potential, you know... 1821 01:25:19,136 --> 01:25:21,138 She's tall. Want to start a basketball team? 1822 01:25:21,221 --> 01:25:23,223 Uh, didn't you say we're not doing that? 1823 01:25:23,306 --> 01:25:25,684 Oh, I e-mailed her that we're tabling it. 1824 01:25:25,768 --> 01:25:27,102 - Tabling it? - Back-burnering it? 1825 01:25:27,185 --> 01:25:28,353 Just tell her no. 1826 01:25:28,436 --> 01:25:29,521 - That's what tabling means. - No. 1827 01:25:29,605 --> 01:25:32,524 That means you'll do it eventually. Are we doing it eventually? 1828 01:25:32,608 --> 01:25:34,484 - No. You said no. - And you said no. 1829 01:25:34,568 --> 01:25:35,611 We both said no. 1830 01:25:37,946 --> 01:25:38,947 So... 1831 01:25:42,325 --> 01:25:44,912 Don't need a surrogate. 1832 01:25:44,995 --> 01:25:47,080 Done. Let's get that drink. 1833 01:25:47,706 --> 01:25:48,624 Okay. 1834 01:25:49,499 --> 01:25:51,418 Two big gloggs. 1835 01:25:51,501 --> 01:25:53,921 Hey, Kirk. Taking the day off of Ööö-bering? 1836 01:25:54,004 --> 01:25:56,715 - I don't know what you're talking about. - You know, Ööö-ber. 1837 01:25:56,799 --> 01:25:58,466 - No. - Kirk, Ööö... 1838 01:25:58,550 --> 01:25:59,802 Stop making that noise. 1839 01:25:59,885 --> 01:26:04,181 If anyone from the Uber corporation or their handsome attorneys contacts you, 1840 01:26:04,264 --> 01:26:06,099 please tell them it was my brother 1841 01:26:06,183 --> 01:26:10,646 and not me, who recklessly violated trademark laws and perpetrated fraud. 1842 01:26:10,729 --> 01:26:13,691 Dirk has always been a disappointment to the family. 1843 01:26:13,774 --> 01:26:14,775 Your gloggs. 1844 01:26:14,858 --> 01:26:16,526 - Kirk... - Next! 1845 01:26:16,609 --> 01:26:19,029 Okay. Your car is done. 1846 01:26:19,112 --> 01:26:22,741 I do not guarantee it will make it home, or even out of the gas station. 1847 01:26:22,825 --> 01:26:24,159 I bet it will. 1848 01:26:24,242 --> 01:26:26,745 Come get it now. It's idling. I'm afraid to turn it off. 1849 01:26:26,829 --> 01:26:28,538 Okay, we'll be right there. Love you. 1850 01:26:28,621 --> 01:26:29,832 Buy a new car. 1851 01:26:29,915 --> 01:26:32,250 - Where's Paul Anka? - He's chasing ice skaters. 1852 01:26:32,334 --> 01:26:34,544 Oh, boy. Hi, Mom. 1853 01:26:34,627 --> 01:26:36,922 - You answered. You never answer. - I did. 1854 01:26:37,005 --> 01:26:38,924 - Sure I do. - Are you drunk? 1855 01:26:39,007 --> 01:26:40,258 Mom, what can I help you with? 1856 01:26:40,342 --> 01:26:42,678 I just wanted you to know that I took your advice. 1857 01:26:42,761 --> 01:26:45,013 - Are you drunk? - I found a therapist. 1858 01:26:45,097 --> 01:26:47,850 - You're kidding. - Linda in my garden club is bipolar, 1859 01:26:47,933 --> 01:26:50,310 so I asked if she had someone she could recommend. 1860 01:26:50,393 --> 01:26:52,479 - Good thinking. - She's a lovely woman. 1861 01:26:52,562 --> 01:26:54,106 - Linda? - No. The therapist. 1862 01:26:54,189 --> 01:26:56,734 Linda's a nightmare. She cries if the tea is cold. 1863 01:26:56,817 --> 01:27:00,696 But the therapist is wonderful. Very tasteful office. 1864 01:27:00,779 --> 01:27:02,447 She burns a candle that smells so delicious, 1865 01:27:02,530 --> 01:27:03,741 I bought one to have at home. 1866 01:27:03,824 --> 01:27:04,992 Sounds great. 1867 01:27:05,075 --> 01:27:06,827 - I could get one for you. - Sure. 1868 01:27:06,910 --> 01:27:10,330 I go there once a week and we just talk. Talk about anything. 1869 01:27:10,413 --> 01:27:13,500 - Or nothing if there's nothing on my mind. - Sounds great, Mom. 1870 01:27:13,583 --> 01:27:15,668 She told me to get rid of the Marie Kondo book. 1871 01:27:15,753 --> 01:27:17,921 I like her already. Hey, I did something right. 1872 01:27:18,005 --> 01:27:19,131 Law of averages. 1873 01:27:19,214 --> 01:27:22,926 I bought a notebook so I can write down things I want to discuss with her. 1874 01:27:23,010 --> 01:27:25,428 - That way I won't forget. - Very sensible. 1875 01:27:25,512 --> 01:27:27,848 I told her it was your idea that I come see her. 1876 01:27:27,931 --> 01:27:28,932 You did? 1877 01:27:29,015 --> 01:27:31,768 I did. Thank you, Lorelai. 1878 01:27:31,852 --> 01:27:35,022 Thank you for suggesting it. I think it's exactly what I needed. 1879 01:27:35,105 --> 01:27:38,441 Wow, I'm so glad, Mom. Really. 1880 01:27:38,525 --> 01:27:41,486 - I'd love for you to meet her sometime. - Sure. 1881 01:27:41,569 --> 01:27:43,280 Maybe next time I go, you could come by. 1882 01:27:43,363 --> 01:27:46,199 Oh, Mom, I would love to meet your therapist. 1883 01:27:46,283 --> 01:27:50,328 Really? Great. I go on Tuesday at 3:00. 1884 01:27:50,412 --> 01:27:51,747 Tuesday's probably fine. 1885 01:27:51,830 --> 01:27:53,999 Wonderful! Oh, you're going to love her. 1886 01:27:54,082 --> 01:27:55,208 I'll text you the address? 1887 01:27:55,292 --> 01:27:56,459 Text away. 1888 01:27:56,543 --> 01:27:59,254 - See you then. - See you then, Mom. Bye. 1889 01:28:00,713 --> 01:28:03,383 - What sort of attack are you having? - Are you crazy? 1890 01:28:03,466 --> 01:28:05,427 - Why? - You're going to therapy with your mother! 1891 01:28:05,510 --> 01:28:07,512 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 1892 01:28:07,596 --> 01:28:08,722 She wants me to meet her. 1893 01:28:08,806 --> 01:28:11,767 - What do you think that means? - Luke, look. 1894 01:28:11,850 --> 01:28:15,145 My mother took my advice. Do you understand what I'm saying? 1895 01:28:15,228 --> 01:28:17,147 The advice that I gave her, she took it. 1896 01:28:17,230 --> 01:28:19,524 That's never happened before. Ever. 1897 01:28:19,607 --> 01:28:23,028 She's feeling good about it and just wanted me to meet her... 1898 01:28:23,111 --> 01:28:25,113 Oh, crap! I'm going to therapy with my mother! 1899 01:28:31,036 --> 01:28:33,747 - Oh, boy. - Come on. 1900 01:28:46,699 --> 01:28:51,699 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 144608

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