Original subtitles

CHORUS [SINGING]: Guenevere, Guenevere

In that dim, mournful year

Saw the men she held so dear

Go to war for Guenevere

KNIGHT: The rules of battle are not for Lancelot du Lac, Your Majesty.

Let us attack now while they sleep.

We will attack when I give the command, at dawn.

Merlyn...

...why is Jenny in that castle...

...behind walls I cannot enter?

How did I blunder into this...

...agonizing absurdity?

When did I stumble? Where did I go wrong?

Should I not have loved her?

Then I should not have been...

...born.

Oh, Merlyn...

...how did it happen?

I haven't got much time.

A thin inch of sunlight...

...the arrows begin to fly.

Merlyn...

...if I am to die...

...in battle...

...please do not let me die...

...bewildered.

MERLYN: Think, Arthur.

Think back.

Think back!

Oh, Merlyn!

MERLYN: Think back.

Think back!

Think...

...back.

Back! To one of the most important days of your life.

Oh, yes, heh!

[BIRD SCREECHES]

Hello.

My name is Arthur.

I think I'll call you...

...Wart.

"I think I'll call you Wart."

[CHUCKLES]

No, no, no!

Now you've gone too far back.

Shoo, shoo, shoo!

Not the day you met me!

The day you met Guenevere.

The day she came...

...to Camelot.

That's the beginning.

Yes.

[WIND WHISTLES]

I know...

...what my people...

...are thinking tonight.

[SINGING] I know what my people

Are thinking tonight

As home through the shadows They wander

Everyone smiling in secret delight

As they stare at the castle and ponder

Whenever the wind blows this way

You can almost hear everyone say...

...I wonder what the king Is doing tonight

What merriment is the king Pursuing tonight?

The candles at the court They never burned as bright

I wonder what the king Is up to tonight

How goes the final hour As he sees the bridal bower

Being legally and regally prepared?

Well, I'll tell you what the king Is doing tonight

He's scared Oh, he's scared

You mean that a king who fought a dragon Whacked him in two and fixed his wagon

Goes to wed in terror and distress?

Oh, yes!

A warrior who's so calm in battle Even his armor doesn't rattle

Faces a woman petrified with fright?

Right!

You mean the appalling clamoring That sounds like a blacksmith hammering

Is merely the banging Of his royal knees?

Please!

You wonder what the king Is wishing tonight?

He's wishing he were In Scotland fishing tonight

What occupies his time While waiting for his bride?

He's searching high and low For someplace to hide

And, oh, the expectation The sublime anticipation

He must feel about The wedding night to come

Well, I'll tell you what the king Is feeling tonight

He's numb! He shakes! He quails! He quakes!

And that's what the king is doing

Tonight!

How long before we get to Camelot?

Soon, ma'am, but don't look out there, it's a ghastly forest.

It's the most ferocious, savage...

...terrifying forest I've ever seen.

I simply adore it.

Does Your Ladyship not realize that this forest is crawling...

...with outlaws and brigands?

Oh, Clary! You think there's a chance of meeting one?

Don't say it, ma'am.

It would be marvelous.

Imagine, ma'am, soon you will not only meet the man you will marry...

...but His Majesty, King Arthur of England.

And one is the other. What have you to say to that?

Oh, Clary.

Was there ever a more inconvenient marriage of convenience?

I am at the golden age of seductability, and is my fate sealed with a kiss?

Is it? No, sealed with a seal!

[MOANS]

[SINGING] Where are all the simple joys

Of maidenhood?

Where are all those Adoring, daring boys?

Where's the knight pining so for me?

He leaps to death in woe for me

Oh where are a maiden's simple joys?

Shan't I have the normal life A maiden should?

Shall I never be rescued in the wood?

Shall two knights never tilt for me

And let their blood be spilt for me?

Oh, where are the simple joys

Of maidenhood?

Shall I never be disputed for

Or on any minstrel's lips?

Never have my face recruited for

Launching countless ships?

Where are the simple joys Of maidenhood?

Are those sweet, gentle pleasures Gone for good?

Shall a feud not begin for me?

Shall kith not kill their kin for me?

Oh where are the trivial joys?

Harmless, convivial joys?

Where are the simple joys

Of maidenhood?

MAN: Halt!

Her Highness will rest here while the Royal Hairdresser...

...attends her.

HAIRDRESSER: Can someone help with this canopy?

SERVANT: Take that case down and bring it over here.

Hurry up now, would you, please?

Careful now.

Clarinda.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I should like some tea while I'm being coifed.

Yes, Your Highness.

HAIRDRESSER: Can he get somebody to help there?

You, you come over here and help me.

Bring that horse over here. He needs water.

St. Genevieve.

[SINGING] St. Genevieve

It's Guenevere

Remember me?

[SINGING] St. Genevieve

St. Genevieve

I'm over here, beneath this tree!

[SINGING] You know how faithful and devout I am

You must admit I've always been a lamb

But Genevieve, St. Genevieve

I won't obey you anymore You've gone a bit too far

I won't be bid and bargained for Like beads at a bazaar

St. Genevieve, I've run away Eluded them and fled

And from now on I intend To pray to someone else instead

Oh, Genevieve, St. Genevieve

Where were you When my youth was sold?

Dear Genevieve

Sweet Genevieve

Shan't I be young before I'm old?

[SHOUTS]

[ARTHUR GRUNTS]

A thousand pardons, my lady.

Don't run, I won't harm you.

You lie! You'll leap on me and throw me down!

I'll do no such thing.

You'll carry me off on your shoulder!

No, I swear by the sword Excalibur I won't touch you.

[GASPS]

Why not?

How dare you insult me in this fashion? Do my looks repel you?

- No, you're beautiful! - Did you hear me praying?

I couldn't help it. You did pray loudly.

GUENEVERE: So you know who I am?

Yes, you're Guenevere.

So that accounts for your polite, respectful, despicable behavior?

Oh.

Why isn't Merlyn here?

- Who? - Merlyn. He's my teacher.

He's the wisest man alive. He'd know what to do. He lives backwards.

- Beg your pardon? - He lives backwards.

He doesn't age. He...

...youthens?

He can remember the future...

...so he can tell you what you'll do in it.

Come here.

Please.

Close your eyes.

Please.

Now just turn, gently.

Now...

Very slowly, open them.

Do you see that castle?

Yeah.

It used to light up in a sort of pink glow.

When I was young, everything looked a little pink to me.

But then, one...

When Merlyn left, he took all the pink with him.

Don't stare. It's rude.

Who are you?

Well...

Actually, they call me Wart, actually.

- You sure you heard them properly? - It's a nickname. Merlyn gave it to me.

Wart, what...?

- Is it really Wart? - Mm-hm.

Wart.

Why don't you run away with me?

I?

You could be my protector, defend me all over the world...

...in France, in England, Mongolia, Scotland.

Oh, what a wonderful dream you spin.

And how easy it would be for me to be caught up in it.

But...

...I must decline.

You forcing me to stay?

Oh, no, my lady!

If you persist in escaping, I'll find somebody brave to accompany you.

Then do so at once before your wretched king finds me.

Oh, do look around you, my lady!

Reconsider.

Camelot is unique.

And we have, by far and away, the most equable climate in all England.

Ordained by decree.

Oh, come now!

It's true.

Heh, it's true!

[SINGING] The Crown has made it clear

The climate must be perfect

All the year

A law was made A distant moon ago here

July and August cannot be too hot

And there's a legal limit To the snow here

In Camelot

The winter is forbidden till December

And exits March the second on the dot

By order, summer lingers Through September

In Camelot

Camelot

I know it sounds a bit bizarre

But in Camelot

Camelot

That's how conditions are

The rain may never fall Till after sundown

By 8 the morning fog must disappear

In short, there's simply not A more congenial spot

For happily-ever-aftering

Than here in Camelot

And I suppose the autumn leaves fall into neat little piles?

Oh, no, my lady. They, pfft, blow away completely.

At night, of course.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Of course.

[SINGING] Camelot

Camelot

I know it gives a person pause

But in Camelot

Camelot

Those are the legal laws

The snow may never Slush upon the hillside

By 9 p.m. The moonlight must appear

In short, there's simply not

A more congenial spot

For happily-ever-aftering

Than here

In Camelot

MAN: Look! There, on the hill!

GUENEVERE: What?

I'm truly sorry, but...

...I'm... I'm afraid, on account of me...

...you may be hanged! - Hanged?

Or burnt at the stake for abducting me!

That uncivilized king of yours will... Defend yourself!

KNIGHT 1: There she is! But who's that peasant with her?

KNIGHT 2: You rogue.

[ARTHUR GRUNTS]

KNIGHTS: The king!

KNIGHT 1: The king! KNIGHT 2: His Majesty.

ALL: It's the king!

It's the king! Wart, it's the king!

Your Majesty, forgive... Forgive me.

I did not know it was you.

The king.

[SIGHS]

When I was a young lad of 18 years of age...

...our good king, Pendragon, died, leaving no one to succeed him...

...but a sword stuck through an anvil that stood on a stone.

Written on it, in gold letters, it said:

"Who so pulleth this sword from this stone...

...is rightwise born King of all England."

Well, many chaps tried to dislodge it, but they failed.

So finally, a great tournament was proclaimed for New Year's Day.

All the mightiest knights in England were assembled at one time to have...

...a go at the sword.

Well...

I... I... I went to London as squire to my cousin, Sir Kay.

On tournament day, Sir Kay found he had left his sword at home...

...and he gave me a shilling to fetch it.

Going through London, I passed a square and saw a sword...

...rising out of a stone.

Not thinking very clearly, I...

...I thought it was a war memorial.

So I decided to borrow it...

...and to save myself the trip.

So I...

...took the sword...

Took the sword and...

...I failed.

So I tried again.

And I failed again.

So, with all my might, I closed my eyes...

...and I tried...

...one last time.

And, Io!

The sword moved in my hand.

And slowly...

...it slid out of the stone.

I heard...

...a great roar.

I opened my eyes. The square was full of people saying:

"Long live the king! Long live...

...the king."

[SCOFFS]

That's how I became king.

I never knew I would be. I never wanted to be.

And since I am, I've been ill at ease in my crown.

Until I dropped from the tree...

...and my eyes...

...beheld you.

And then, for the first time...

...I felt like a king. I was glad to be king.

And most astonishing of all, I wanted to be the most heroic...

...the wisest, the most...

...splendid king ever to sit...

...on any throne.

Well, if you'll...

If my lady will follow me, I'll...

...I'll find a proper companion...

...to accompany you.

[SINGING] I hear it never rains

Till after sundown

By 8 the morning fog Must disappear

In short, there's simply not

A more congenial spot

For happily-ever-aftering

Than here

In Camelot

CHORUS [SINGING]: A law was made a distant moon ago here

July and August cannot be too hot

And there's a legal limit To the snow here

In Camelot

Camelot

I know it gives a person pause

But in Camelot

Camelot

Those are the legal laws

The rain may never fall Till after sundown

In Camelot

By 9 p.m. The moonlight must appear

In Camelot

In short there's simply not

A more congenial spot

For happily-ever-aftering

Than here

In Camelot

ARTHUR: The map of England.

Map, indeed.

A fishnet of ill-begotten kingdoms ruled by immoral lords...

...battling with their own unlawful armies over illegal border lines.

And who is...

...king of this...

...jungle?

Hmm?

The man who four years ago pledged he would become...

...the greatest king who ever sat on any throne.

I...

...Arthur of England.

Yes.

The greatest warrior in the land.

For what purpose?

Might...

...doesn't always mean right.

What are you saying? To be right and lose couldn't possibly be right.

Merlyn...

...used to frown on battles.

Yet he always...

...helped me win them.

Why?

Proposition:

Is it far better to be alive than dead?

Yes, far better. Mm.

If that is so...

...then why do we have wars...

...in which people can get killed?

I don't know, do you?

Yes.

Because somebody attacks.

Why do they attack?

[SIGHS]

Jenny.

Did I ever tell you...

...how Merlyn taught me how to think?

No.

By changing me into animals.

Oh, really! Arthur!

[GUENEVERE CHUCKLES]

Jenny, I mean by making me believe...

...he had changed me into animals.

For instance, when a hawk is up there looking down at the world...

...there are no boundaries.

Right?

GUENEVERE: Hmm.

ARTHUR: Yet boundaries are what...

...somebody always attacks about.

And you win by pushing them back across something that...

...that doesn't exist.

So we have battles for no reason at all. Why, Jenny, why?

Because ladies love knights. To see your knight in armor...

ARTHUR: That's it, Jenny.

Jenny, that is it!

It's the armor!

It's the armor, Jenny. The armor.

Look, only the knights are rich enough to have armor. The foot soldiers...

Well, they have nothing.

So, all that can happen to a knight is, uh...

...an occasional, unh, dent.

[THINKING] Proposition:

Right or wrong...

...they have the might. So right or wrong, they're always right.

That's wrong. Right?

Jenny.

- Jenny. GUENEVERE: I'm here.

ARTHUR: Jenny, Jenny.

Suppose we create a new order of chivalry?

A new order where might is only used for right.

To improve instead of to destroy. Look, we'll invite all knights...

...and kings of all kingdoms to lay down their arms to come and join us.

Oh, yes, Jenny.

And we'll...

...take one of the large rooms in the castle...

...put a table in it and all the knights will gather at it.

And do what?

Talk across it.

Debate.

Make laws. Plan improvements.

But, Arthur, do you think all the knights will ever want to...

...to do such a ridiculously peaceful thing?

We'll make it a great honor.

Very fashionable. Everyone will want to join.

Only now...

...the knights will whack only for good.

Might for right.

Might...

...for right!

That's it, Jenny!

Might...

No, not might is right!

Might...

...for...

...right!

It's very original. Heh.

Yes. Yes, yes. And...

And civilized, Jenny.

GUENEVERE: It will have to be an awfully large table.

What of jealousy? All will claim superiority and want to sit at the head.

We'll make it...

...a round table.

So there is no head.

A round table!

Round...

...table.

My father's got one that would be perfect. It seats 150.

He had it as a wedding present and he never used it.

[SINGING] We'll send the heralds

Riding through the country

Tell every living person far and near

[SINGING] That there is simply not

In all the world a spot

Where rules a more resplendent king

Than here

In Camelot

LANCELOT [SINGING]: Camelot

Camelot

In far off France I hear you call

Camelot

To you alone I'll give my all

I know in my soul What you expect of me

And all that and more I shall be

A knight of the table round Should be invincible

Succeed where a less fantastic man Would fail

Climb a wall no one else can climb Cleave a dragon in record time

Swim a moat In a coat of heavy iron mail

No matter the pain He ought to be unwinceable

Impossible deeds Should be his daily fare

But where in the world

Is there in the world

A man so extraordinaire?

C'est moi, c'est moi I'm forced to admit

'Tis I I humbly reply

That mortal who these marvels can do

C'est moi, c'est moi 'Tis I

I've never lost In battle or game

I'm simply the best by far

When swords are crossed 'Tis always the same

One blow and au revoir

C'est moi, c'est moi So admirably fit

A French Prometheus Unbound

And here am I With valor untold

Exceptionally brave

Amazingly bold

To serve at the table round

The soul of a knight Should be a thing remarkable

His heart and his mind As pure as morning dew

With a will and a self-restraint That's the envy of every saint

He could easily work a miracle or two

To love and desire He ought to be unsparkable

The ways of the flesh Should offer no allure

But where in the world Is there in the world

A man so untouched

And pure?

C'est moi

C'est moi, c'est moi I blush to disclose

I'm far too noble to lie

That man in whom These qualities bloom

C'est moi, C'est moi 'Tis I

I've never strayed From all I believe

I'm blessed with an iron will

Had I been made The partner of Eve

We'd be in Eden still

C'est moi, c'est moi The angels have chosen

To fight their battles below

And here am I As pure as a prayer

Incredibly clean

With virtue to spare

The godliest man I know C'est moi!

Oh, King Arthur!

What caliber of man you must be...

...to have envisioned a new order of life.

I worship you before knowing you.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

Don't run away, coward!

Come back and fight!

KNIGHT: The swine!

- Are you hurt, Your Majesty? - Fine.

Please!

The next time you traffic with me...

...remember, you challenge the right arm of King Arthur.

Really?

I am King Arthur.

What?

You...

...are the king!

Yes, almost the late king.

And I struck you?

[GASPS]

Your Majesty!

Your Majesty.

I'm Lancelot du Lac.

In France I heard of your new order and came to join.

I beg Your Majesty to forgive me.

Not because I deserve it...

...but because by forgiving me...

...I'll suffer more.

But, really, dear chap...

...I don't want you to suffer at all.

I want to congratulate you. Please rise. You, too, squire.

Uh, I can't, mon roi.

- I'm too ashamed to lift my head. - Well, then I command you.

I have never felt a bash in my chest quite like it.

It was most spectacular. Where did you learn to do it?

My skill comes from training, mon roi.

My strength from purity.

Well, that's a unique recipe.

He's a unique man, Your Majesty.

At the age of fourteen he could defeat any jouster in France.

His father, King Ban, made me his squire.

- King Ban? - Yes.

In France?

What did you say your name was?

Lancelot du Lac, Your Majesty.

You're Lancelot? I was told you were coming.

You were told?

Yes.

By Merlyn, the court magician.

He said to me one day:

"Arthur, keep your eye out for a Frenchman called Lancelot du Lac.

He will come to the court of Camelot and he will be..."

What was it now?

"He will be..."

Your ally, if you'll take me.

Your friend, who asks no friendship.

Your defender when you need one...

...whose body is your sword to brandish.

Did he prophesy that, Your Majesty?

For all that, I am.

Really, my dear fellow...

...this is far more than I could wish for...

...uh, or even ask.

Then you will accept me?

Without hesitation.

- We will arrange for your knighthood. LANCELOT: Oh, thank you!

We must arrange for your knighthood immediately.

Oh, no. No, Your Majesty. All you know of me is words.

Invest me because of deeds, sire. Give me an order.

- Now? - This moment.

Send me on a mission. Is there some wrong I can right?

Some enemy I can battle? Some peril I can undertake?

Well, actually, there's not much going on today.

Uh, it's the first of May. The Queen and some of the court have gone a-Maying.

Gone a-Maying?

Yes, it's a sort of...

...picnic?

They eat berries and chase young girls around...

LANCELOT: Picnic?

It's a custom we have here.

This is England, you know.

And this is the season for gathering flowers.

Knights gathering flowers?

Well, someone has to do it!

And besides, it's...

It's civilized.

And civilization should have...

...a few gentle hobbies.

Come, come.

I want you to meet the queen.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Dap, take the horses and feed them.

By George, Lancelot!

I suddenly remembered what Merlyn said of you.

How strange!

He said that you would be the greatest knight ever to sit at my table.

That was long before I thought of a table.

So he knew it would exist.

I... I... Oh, dear! I thought he meant a dining table.

But he meant this.

The Round Table!

And I have stumbled on my future.

[STUTTERING] I've done...

...the right thing.

Did you ever doubt it, Your Majesty?

Oh, of course, of course.

Only fools...

...never doubt.

Oh, welcome, Lancelot.

Bless you for coming.

Welcome to my table.

[SINGING] It's May

It's May

The lusty month of May

That lovely month

When everyone goes

Blissfully astray

It's here, it's here

That shocking time of year

When tons of wicked little thoughts

Merrily appear

It's May!

CHORUS [SINGING]: Oh, it's May

GUENEVERE: That gorgeous holiday

When every maiden itches for fun

Wholesome or "un"

It's mad!

CHORUS [SINGING]: Oh, it's gay

Depraved in every way

Those dreary vows that everyone takes Everyone breaks

Everyone makes divine mistakes

The lusty month of May

It's May

CHORUS [SINGING]: Oh, it's May

The lusty month of May

That darling month When everyone throws

Self-control away

It's time to do

A wretched thing or two

And try to make each precious day

One you'll always rue

It's May

CHORUS [SINGING]: It's May

The month of "Yes, you may"

A time for every

Frivolous whim

Proper or "im"

It's wild!

CHORUS [SINGING]: It's wild! It's gay!

GUENEVERE: A libelous display

The birds and bees

Will all of their vast Amorous past

Gaze at the human race Aghast!

The lusty

CHORUS & GUENEVERE: Month of May!

CHORUS [SINGING]: It's May, it's May

The lusty month of May

That lovely month when everyone goes Blissfully astray

It's here, it's here

That shocking time of year

When tons of wicked little thoughts Merrily appear

It's May, it's May

The month of great dismay

When all the world is brimming with fun

Wholesome or "un"

It's May, it's May

The lusty month of May

That lovely month When everyone throws

Self-control away

It's time to do

A wretched thing or two

And try to make each precious day One you'll always rue

It's May, it's May

The month of "Yes, you may"

The time for every frivolous whim

Proper or "im"

It's wild! It's gay!

A libelous display

Those dreary vows that everyone takes Everyone breaks

Everyone makes divine mistakes

The lusty month of May It's May

It's May, it's May

It's May

Now then...

...which way to go?

North.

Uh.

No, no, that's north.

No.

No, that's north.

That's, uh...

I'm completely lost.

Who's that rusty old fellow?

I've never seen him before, Your Majesty.

Offer him assistance.

That mountain seems familiar.

Uh, let's see.

Good day, milord.

How do you do, young man? The name of King Pellinore here.

- You are a king, sire? - Yes.

[SCOFFS]

Of what country?

I don't know. I... I lost my kingdom.

LIONEL: To whom?

Well, I mislaid it. I left it somewhere and I...

- I can't find my way back. LIONEL: What?

GUENEVERE: Why, I believe him. - Your Majesty!

Your... Your Majesty?

Yes, milord. You are addressing Her Majesty, the Queen of England.

The queen? Why, why! How do you do?

[ARMOR CREAKING]

Forgive me, ma'am. The beastly hinges need oiling.

Be at ease, my lord. Welcome to Camelot.

Camelot?

Camelot...

Haven't I been here before?

Yes, years ago. I spent a jolly fortnight with a fine little fellow...

...called Wart. Ever met him, ma'am?

Constantly. He's my husband.

Oh.

[WHISPERING] King Arthur of England.

The King? Is he?

Well, well! Is he? By Jove, good for him!

That's what I call well done. Imagine. The king! Oh.

And he knows the name of what he's king of.

Arthur would be pleased to see you. Would you care to spend the night?

What, in a bed? In a real bed?

Damnation, I'd like that.

I haven't put spine to feathers since I left...

Since I left, uh...

[GIBBERS]

Go, one of you. Escort His Majesty to the castle.

Oh, I'm very grateful to you, ma'am.

Oh, thank you, very much.

[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Jenny!

Arthur.

[GUENEVERE MOANS]

- Jenny, Jenny. GUENEVERE: Ha, ha.

I want to present to you Lancelot du Lac.

He's come all the way from France to join our Table.

- Monsieur. - Your Majesty.

This is the Lancelot that Merlyn used to speak of.

You're most welcome.

I'm honored to be among you, milady.

And allow me to pledge my eternal dedication to this noble cause.

Thank you, monsieur. Arthur, I met this strange man...

This splendid dream must become a universal reality.

What?

Oh, absolutely. It really must.

I have assured the king he may call upon me...

...at any time to perform any deed, no matter the danger.

Thank you, monsieur. That's most comforting.

I'm always on duty.

Yes, I can see that.

I would love to come to lunch...

...but I want you to listen to the plans we have been discussing.

Now, Lancelot, uh, explain it.

- Uh, to the queen, sire? - Yes, yes, of course.

Would not Madame find it tedious?

I have never found chivalry tedious.

So far.

May I remind you, monsieur...

...that the Round Table happens to be the idea of my husband.

My husband's idea.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Any idea, milady...

...however exalted, could be improved.

- Oh, really? - Of course.

I've suggested that we create a training program for knights.

- Isn't that a marvelous idea, Jenny? - A training program?

ARTHUR: Mm-hm.

Yes, milady.

The Round Table must have a standard.

A standard physical and a standard moral.

And whose abilities would serve as a standard, monsieur?

Oh, certainly not mine, milady.

It would not be fair.

Not fair? In what way?

I would never ask anyone to live by my standards, milady.

To devote your life...

...to the tortured quest for perfection in body and spirit.

Oh, no. I would not ask that of anyone.

No, nor would I.

And have you achieved perfection, monsieur?

Physically, yes, milady.

But the refining of the soul is an endless struggle.

I daresay. I do daresay.

Do you mean you've never been defeated in battle or in a tournament?

No, Your Majesty.

[ARTHUR CHUCKLES]

And I gather...

...you consider it unlikely ever to happen in the future?

Highly, Your Majesty!

How was the channel, Lancelot? Was it a good crossing?

LANCELOT: Uh...

Tell me a little of your struggle for the perfection of the spirit.

Have you jousted with humility lately?

"Humility," milady?

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Or isn't it fashionable in France this year?

Well, we best discuss the program elsewhere. You look too beautiful...

...to have anything on your mind other than frolic and flowers.

Have a lovely day. Same to all of you.

Come along, Lancelot.

Come quickly.

Good day, my queen.

[GUENEVERE SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

- Mon dieu, he's unpleasant. - And so poisonously good.

He probably walked across the channel.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

Sir Dinadan?

Your Majesty.

When is the next tournament?

A week from Saturday, Your Majesty.

And who are the three best jousters we have?

Sir Lionel, Sir Sagramore...

...and with all humilité...

...l, Your Majesty.

Really?

GUENEVERE: Sir Lionel?

[SINGING] Do you recall the other night

That I distinctly said you might

Serve as my escort At the next town fair?

Well, I'm afraid there's someone Who I must invite in place of you

Someone who plainly is Beyond compare

The Frenchman's power Is more tremendous

Than I have ever seen anywhere

And when a man is that stupendous

He, by right, should take me To the fair

[SINGING] Your Majesty

Let me tilt with him And smite him

Don't refuse me so abruptly I implore

Oh, give me the opportunity To fight him

And Gaul will be divided Once more

You will bash and thrash him?

I will smash and mash him!

You'll give him trouble?

He will be rubble.

A mighty whack?

His skull will crack!

[GASPS]

Mon dieu.

[SINGING] Then you may

Take me to the fair

If you do all the things You promise

In fact, my heart will break Should you not take me

To the fair

Your Majesty.

Sir Sagramore?

[SINGING] I have some rather painful news

Relative to the subject who's

To be beside me at the next court ball

You were the chosen one, I know But it's tradition it should go

To the unquestioned champion In the hall

And I'm convinced That splendid Frenchman

Can easily conquer one and all

And besting all our local Henchmen, he

Should sit beside me At the ball

[SINGING] I beg of you, ma'am

Withhold your invitation

I swear to you this challenge Will be met

And when I have finished up The operation

I shall serve him to Your Highness En brochette

You'll pierce right through him?

Ha, ha. I'll barbecue him!

A wicked thrust?

It will be dust to dust.

From fore to aft?

He'll feel...

...a draft.

[CLATTERS]

My goodness! Well, Sir Sagramore.

[SINGING] You may sit

By me at the ball

If you demolish him In battle

In fact, I know I'd cry Were you not by me

At the ball

Sir Dinadan?

[SINGING] Didn't I promise that you may

Guide me to London on the day

That I go up to judge The cattle show

As it is quite a nasty ride There must be someone by my side

Who'll be defending me From beast and foe

So when I choose whom I prefer go

I take the strongest knight I know

And young du Lac seems strongest Ergo

He should

Take me to the cattle show

[SINGING] Your Majesty can't believe

This blustering prattle

Let him prove it With a sword or lance instead

I promise you when I'm done This gory battle

His shoulders will be lonesome For his head

You'll disconnect him?

I'll vivisect him!

You'll open wide him?

I'll subdivide him!

[SINGING] Then you may guide me

To the show

If you can carry out Your program

In fact, I'd grieve inside Should you not guide me

To the show

KNIGHTS [SINGING]: Milady, we shall put an end to

That Gallic bag of noise And nerve

When we do all that we Intend to

He'll be a plate of French Hors d'oeuvres

I do applaud your noble goals

Now let us see if you Achieve them

And if you do Then you will be the three

Who will go to the ball To the show

And take me

To the fair

KNIGHTS: To the fair - To the fair

To the fair

[CHUCKLING]

My lords!

Have you seen the latest edict? 'Tis the final straw.

Knights who refuse to lay down their arms will be attacked...

...as if they were serfs.

We're not only to kill foot soldiers, but knights as well.

Oh, we know all about it, Dinadan.

But these other knights...

...if they fight back...

...we could be killed. - That's right.

What's the sense of being born in the upper class...

...if you can get killed like the lower class? Huh?

It has the stink of French cooking.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

Well, after Saturday...

...we shall be back on Yorkshire pudding.

[ALL LAUGH]

Pelly, why don't you...

...give up searching for your kingdom...

...and come settle down with us for good?

That's jolly kind of you, Arthur.

I mean, I love the bed and all that...

...but the truth is I don't find things too restful around here.

I can't help wishing that you'd stop...

...thinking...

...and leave well enough alone.

- I'm all against these new ideas of yours. - What new ideas?

Any new ideas.

Best people whacking best people. That's not right. That's not.

The chaps downstairs, they're gnashing mad.

Gnashing.

It's all his fault, you know.

Emperor Charlemagne there.

He has no activities, that's his trouble.

No secular pleasures.

Quiet, Pelly!

Excusez, uh...

Ahem, me.

Uh, but do you not have any, uh, activities?

Any, uh, hobbies? Any, uh?

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

No, Pellinore.

There, you see. Do you see?

Now why can't he be like the other chaps instead of like himself?

Why can't he come home of an evening, hang up his shield...

...and do something that he can be ashamed of? Hmm?

You sure he's French?

Pelly.

I'm afraid milord is right.

All fanatics are irritating, Pellinore.

And I am a fanatic.

And I don't enjoy it any more than you do.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Lance, didn't you have a change to suggest?

We can discuss my idea tomorrow. If you will excuse me.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

While I was napping, did I miss any improvements in chivalry?

No, milady. If you will excuse me...

Monsieur, when you're arranging things with God tonight...

...do be sure to give us fine weather tomorrow.

- Good night, sire. - Good night, Lance.

Good night, Pellinore.

Good night.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Heard the latest? He believes his purity gives him miraculous powers. Heh.

[SCOFFS]

He was undoubtedly referring to his physical prowess.

Which is vast, indeed.

Oh, yes. Well, we'll see about that tomorrow.

Sagramore, Lionel and Dinadan have all challenged him to a joust.

Three damn strong men!

- All three in one day? - Quite, exactly.

Isn't it marvelous? Marvelous!

Exactly, yes!

I tell you, Arthur.

I've never met anyone like him.

I mean...

...he has no lady.

Talks to no one but you and God...

...crammed full of religion, an all-around unpleasant fellow.

I can't wait until tomorrow. It'll be a jolly massacre.

[CHUCKLES]

Good night, ma'am. Good night, sir.

I'm really looking forward to it. It's going to be marvelous. Ha, ha.

[PELLINORE CHUCKLING]

A note of thanks from Sir Lionel.

I've promised he can carry my kerchief in the joust tomorrow.

Jenny.

I would be most grateful if you...

...would withdraw your permission from Sir Lionel.

Uh, I don't think I could. It would be rather awkward.

Then allow Lancelot to carry it against Sagramore.

- I've promised my kerchief to him. - Then against Dinadan?

I've promised him too. He asked so prettily, I couldn't refuse.

Well, this is appalling, Jenny.

It will seem to the court that you are championing his defeat.

Perhaps he won't be. He knocked you unconscious. You became friends.

He may knock them out, and they'll all take a house together.

I realize he's having a difficult time adjusting.

But he's a stranger.

He's not even English. He's French.

Well, he suffers in translation.

Jenny, I ask you...

I believe you're jealous of the knights and their attentions to me.

- Are you, my love? - Jealous? What absolute rubbish!

You know I am delighted the court adores you so.

I trust you as God above.

You have dragged me off the subject and I want you back on it.

Will you withdraw those kerchiefs?

Only if you command me as king.

If I do...

...will you forgive me?

Never.

Then, if I ask you as a husband, will you as a favor?

I find him overbearing and pretentious. The knights are against him.

Can we not stay on the subject?

There's nothing more to be said.

If the king wishes me to withdraw what I have given...

...let him command me and Yours Humbly will graciously obey.

What, what.

Blast you, Merlyn! This is all your fault!

[SINGING] You swore that you had taught me

Everything from A to Z

With nary an omission in between

Well, I shall tell you what You obviously forgot

That's how a ruler rules a queen

And what of teaching me By turning me to animal and bird

From beaver To the smallest bobolink?

I should have had a whirl At changing to a girl

To learn the way the creatures think

But wasn't there a night

On a summer long gone by

We passed a couple Wrangling away

And did I not say

Merlyn What if that chap were I

And did he not give counsel And say

What was it now?

[SINGING] Oh, my mind's a wall

Oh, yes! By Jove!

Now I recall

How to handle a woman

There's a way Said the wise old man

A way known by every woman

Since the whole rigmarole began

Do I flatter her? I begged him answer

Do I threaten or cajole or plead?

Do I brood or play the gay romancer?

Said he, smiling No, indeed!

How to handle a woman

Mark me well I will tell you, sir

The way to handle a woman

Is to love her

Simply

Love her

Merely love her

Love her

What's wrong, Jenny?

Where are you these days?

What are you thinking?

I don't understand you.

But no matter. Merlyn told me once:

"Never be disturbed if you don't understand what a woman is thinking.

They don't do it very often."

But what do you do while they're doing it?

[CHUCKLES]

[SINGING] How to handle a woman

Mark me well And I'll tell you, sir

The way to handle a woman

Is to love her

Simply

Love her

Merely love her

Love her

Oh.

Just...

...love her.

[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT FANFARE]

[CROWD CHATTERING]

[WHOOPING]

[SINGING]

[DRUMROLL]

[CROWD CHEERS]

Here comes Sir Lionel.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD GASPS]

[ALL MURMURING]

One.

[CROWD CHEERS]

Watch the way Sir Sagramore maneuvers his horse. It's extraordinary.

You see how he drives to the right? And then suddenly...

[CROWD GASPS]

Ah, how clever!

He maneuvered his horse right out from under himself.

What control!

[CROWD APPLAUDS]

Two, Jenny.

Hyah!

[CROWD MURMURING]

[CROWD GASPS]

Arthur!

He's dead, Jenny.

[LANCELOT WHIMPERING]

Please!

Please.

Live!

Live.

I beg you.

Live. Live.

Live.

- Live. Live. ARTHUR: Lance.

LANCELOT: Live. Please. - Lance, Lance.

[CROWD MURMURING]

He lives! He lives!

Dap.

I'm trembling with fear.

And the strength...

...has left my arms.

And terrible feelings...

...burn within me.

Tell me.

You're older than I.

You know this earth...

...better than I.

I only fell upon it...

...a few hours ago.

What are you talking about?

Guenevere.

Wait, Pelly.

What?

You've never been in love...

...have you, Pelly?

PELLINORE: Once.

But not lately. Now I'm not young enough.

Or not old enough.

And I'm too young and too old.

Too old not to know that fears...

...can be imaginary.

And too young not to be...

...tormented by them.

Forgive me, milady, for disturbing you.

Clarinda told me Arthur was expected here.

Yes, he is.

Jenny, I...

I love you.

God forgive me...

...but I do!

Then God forgive us both, Lance.

Jenny, Jenny.

Oh, what a glorious day!

[ARTHUR PANTING]

This is your day, Lance.

And at last you shall receive...

...your earned and proper knighthood.

Oh, Lance. Lance.

Jenny.

Unfortunately, sainthood is not in my power.

Heh, before the ceremony, we three will have a nice quiet drink together.

It was on such a day as this...

...that the idea of the Round Table was given birth.

Remember, Jenny?

Jenny, Lance.

[SIGHS]

To the Round Table!

[CROWD CHATTERING]

KNIGHT: To be invested...

...Knight of the Round Table of England...

...of the Castle of Joyous Gard...

...Lancelot du Lac.

[HORSE TROTTING IN DISTANCE]

Excalibur.

Arise...

...Sir Lancelot.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Proposition:

If I could choose...

...from every woman who breathes on this earth...

...the face I would most love...

...the smile, the touch, the heart...

...the voice, the laugh, the soul itself...

...every detail and feature to the last strand of the hair...

...they would all be Jenny's.

Proposition:

If I could choose from every man who breathes on this earth...

...a man for my brother...

...a man for my son...

...and a man for my friend...

...they would all be Lance.

I love them.

I love them and they answer me with pain...

...and torment.

Be it sin or not sin...

...they have betrayed me in their hearts...

...and that's far sin enough.

I can see it in their eyes. I can feel it when they speak.

And they must pay for it and be punished.

I shall not be wounded and not return it in kind.

I'm through with feeble hoping.

I demand...

...a man's vengeance!

Proposition:

I'm a king...

...not a man.

And a very civilized king.

Could it...

...possibly be civilized...

...to destroy the thing I love?

Could it possibly be civilized to love myself above all?

What about their pain...

...and their torment?

Did they ask for this calamity?

Can passion...

...be selected?

Is there any doubt...

...of their devotion to me, and to our Table?

By God...

...I shall be a king!

This is the time of King Arthur...

...when we shall...

...reach for the stars!

This is the time of King Arthur...

...when violence is not strength, and compassion is not weakness.

We are civilized!

Resolved:

We shall live through this together!

Excalibur!

They...

...you...

...and I.

And may...

...God have mercy on us all.

[HORSE WHINNIES]

MAN: Your Majesty!

Your Majesty!

I come as an emissary from the village of Glenfield.

We have 23 shops...

...and not one door with a bolt. And not a chain on a stable...

...a bar on a gate, a latch with a lock.

And our children walk free on the roads.

Because we live in the England of King Arthur.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

Here are the keys of Glenfield, Your Majesty.

We need them no more.

You have been the queen's lover for years.

Get on your feet...

...and defend your slander!

Does killing me kill the truth?

There's a poison in this court that will kill us all!

Get up and fight!

I give you this. And I'll use dagger alone.

I...

...take it back.

LANCELOT: If the king grants you clemency...

...you shall be banished.

If not, you hang.

Clemency is granted.

[BAND PLAYING CELTIC MARCH]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Is he dead?

Bruce has withdrawn the accusation.

And Arthur?

Clemency.

What an agony for him. Seven of his knights banished.

If those charges had not been withdrawn...

...what would I have done?

Commit murder?

I don't know.

At least he's still spared the anguish of the truth.

Jenny.

He knows.

Oh, no.

- I'm certain. - He couldn't.

Arthur would never banish the knights so unjustly.

It's your conscience talking. It's impatient for you to be punished.

- No, no. - He knows!

Well, why would he change the law?

Rule out the use of swords to settle disputes...

...and replace it with a court and judge?

- He hasn't done that. - He's preparing to!

And if no evidence can be produced...

...then the matters cannot be disputed at all.

And there will be no evidence.

- He'll see to that. - How?

He will never leave this castle unless one of us is with him.

He will never leave us alone again. Never!

Oh, God!

What will become of us?

What will become of me?

[WHIMPERS]

Oh, Lance.

How long can I...

...go on asking the same question and not lose my mind?

Or is my mind gone from me now?

Lance, Lance.

What shall we do?

I know what I should do.

Leave and never come back.

Today. This minute.

But to leave so abruptly...

...it would seem a confession.

No.

Better in a week or two.

Or a month.

How can I go, Jenny?

Look at you.

When would I?

[SINGING] If ever I would leave you

It wouldn't be in summer

Seeing you in summer

I never would go

Your hair streaked with sunlight

Your lips red as flame

Your face with a luster

That puts gold to shame

But if I'd ever leave you

It couldn't be in autumn

How I'd leave in autumn

I never would know

I've seen how you sparkle

When fall nips the air

I know you in autumn

And I must be there

And could I leave you

Running merrily through the snow?

Or on a wintery evening

When you catch the fire's glow?

If ever I would leave you

How could it be in springtime

Knowing how in spring

I'm bewitched by you so

Oh, no Not in springtime

Summer, winter or fall

No, never could I leave you

At all

I want you to go, Lance.

Jenny, Jenny.

I do.

I don't worry about the future. We have none.

But if anything happened to the past...

...any more shame...

...and any more guilt could make ruin of it.

The past is all I have.

LANCELOT [SINGING]: If ever I would leave you

How could it be in springtime

Knowing how in spring

I'm bewitched by you so

Oh, no Not in springtime

Summer

Winter

Or fall

No, never could I leave you

At all

PELLINORE: Damn it, Arthur! Forgive me, damn it.

But damn it! If this banishing goes on...

...there'll be more out there than there are in here.

Your Majesty.

There's a young man from Scotland who brings you royal greetings.

His Majesty is occupied. Ask him to return in the afternoon.

Arthur.

The uglier the truth, the truer the friend that tells you...

...and unless you are told the truth...

...your Round Table is doomed.

Arthur.

Guenevere...

...and Lancelot...

...have betrayed you.

And because you don't know it...

...innocent men are being punished.

Pellinore, you will either...

...withdraw that treasonous allegation...

...at once...

...or defend it with your life!

What?

Now speak up!

Which is it, Pellinore? The sword or withdrawal?

Well, I... I...

Guard!

No, Arthur! Wait!

Um, wait.

I must have been mistaken, sir.

Now, Pelly...

Under this new civil law of mine you can...

...make that accusation again without fear of your life...

...if there is evidence, which there is not, of course.

Repetition, Pelly, is not evidence.

MAN: Brilliant, Your Majesty!

Not only wise but clever.

- How dare you enter unannounced? - But I was announced.

And were you not informed to return this afternoon?

I'm busy this afternoon.

By Jove!

- What presumption! - Don't touch me. I'm unarmed.

Pelly, call the guard and have this pompous young ass thrown out.

Yes, do.

Tell them His Majesty wants Mordred evicted.

Mordred?

Yes, Your Majesty.

I'm Mordred.

Wait, Pelly.

I know this boy.

He's...

...the brother...

...the half-brother...

He's the son...

...of the Princess Margause of Orkny.

Please.

So...

This is the famous throne room where sits His Majesty, King of England.

It's quite handsome, really.

Marvelous for parties.

I had lost track of the time, Mordred.

You've grown to manhood.

How...

...is your mother?

As ravishing as ever.

Which is hardly surprising.

Vigilant selfishness is wonderful for the skin.

And Prince Claudius?

Oh, I haven't seen him in a while. He locked himself...

...in a tower four years ago to get away from Mother.

[CHUCKLES]

Do you always sit there, or do you sometimes switch with Guenevere?

Protocol intrigues me.

And where the famous Lancelot?

Or does he stand in between?

What brings you to Camelot, Mordred?

A desire of blood, Your Majesty. My brothers are here.

Half-brothers.

They'll be very, very, very miserable to see me.

Mother had a potion which took off 10 years and they...

...gave it to me when I was 9 to make me minus one.

You've come all this way to see your brothers, whom you detest?

That's hardly reason for such a long journey.

There's you, Your Majesty.

I always wondered why old Claudius detested me so.

Then, heh, one day Mother told me the marvelous news.

He's not my father.

How once when she was visiting England...

...she met an attractive young lad called Arthur...

...invited him to her room...

...so on.

Is that how the story goes?

Yes.

Yes, that's how the story goes.

Imagine her surprise when that young man became King of all England.

Now that you're here, what are your plans?

My plans are your wishes, Your Majesty.

Then you are to remain in Camelot and become a knight of the Round Table.

I admit you're not very promising material...

...but you have brains, youth...

...and a proper heritage.

Much could be done if you applied yourself.

I a knight?

[CHUCKLES]

Come, Your Majesty!

Look at me!

[CHUCKLES]

I despise the sword, I loathe the spear, and I detest horses.

I've been taught to place needs ahead of conscience...

...comfort ahead of principle.

I find charity offensive and kindness a trap.

I like my ladies married...

...my willpower weak, my wine strong...

...and my saints fallen.

Come.

What kind of knight could you make of me, hmm?

Put it that way, it would take a miracle.

And I'm told there's a shortage of miracles at Camelot these days.

I must warn you, Mordred...

...that I am a civilized man with occasional lapses.

And far more seasoned rascals than you have polished their souls.

I advise you get out the wax.

Better be rubbed clean...

...than rubbed out?

- Heh. - You will dine with the queen and me...

...and try to get to know each other better.

Good, I shall look forward to meeting the queen.

ARTHUR: Mordred.

You will leave when you are dismissed.

And remember...

...Mordred...

...that I and I alone shall decide...

...when you may address me by the name that your kinship allows.

But it shall remain unspoken...

...till you have earned the right by proper deeds.

The adage...

..."Blood is thicker than water" was invented by...

...undeserving relatives.

I look forward to seeing you this evening.

It is simple, Pellinore.

Once you get it into that armored head of yours...

...that all disputes will be settled by law...

...and not by bloodshed.

Wart, I understand that perfectly.

I do not understand how it works.

Oh, Pelly.

Um...

Let us see. Supposing you are accused of burning down a stable.

Whose?

Let us say a farmer named William.

William?

I wouldn't, of course, but, uh, get along.

Now, Pelly, you claim you haven't.

What does he do?

He holds his tongue if he knows what's good for him...

...or he'll get a sword through his chest. - Oh, Pelly.

- Pelly, he takes you to court. - Ah.

And we fight there.

No, Pellinore.

In court, there is a prosecutor for Farmer William...

...and a defender for you.

Oh, I see!

Ah! I see. And they fight.

[CHUCKLES]

No, Pellinore. A jury decides.

That is why it is called "trial by jury."

The jury? Who in thunderation are they?

It's none of their damn business.

But you don't know them, Pelly. And they don't know you.

If they don't know me and they don't know Farmer William...

...how can you expect them to care a fig who wins?

How can you get a fair decision from people so impartial?

That is precisely the point, Pelly.

They are impartial and there will be no bloodshed.

If that jury finds me guilty, there'll be plenty of bloodshed.

I'll have a whack at every last one of them.

Then you will be charged with murder, Pelly.

The ruddy thing's endless!

Another jury finds me guilty, and I'll have to whack them...

...and so on and so on and whacking and...

ARTHUR: Oh, Pelly...

Pellinore, forget it! You will never burn down a stable...

...you will never know a farmer named William and you will never...

...ever be found in a court.

Not without my ruddy sword, I won't.

[SCOFFS]

Oh, Jenny.

Jenny, I'm getting old.

It's true.

I thought about it this morning.

I walked to the stables as briskly as ever...

...and arrived much later than I expected to.

You've been closeted far too long with the civil court.

I'm glad it's finally opening.

Ten o'clock tomorrow morning.

- The first English court. - May I attend the ceremony?

Would you, Jenny? Everyone would love it.

Yes, of course.

It may be our greatest achievement.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Come in.

Your Majesty.

Oh, Lance.

Good day, milady.

Good day, Lance.

- Arthur, it's about Mordred. - Mordred?

Must we talk about Mordred?

This is the first day in a month he'll not be here for dinner...

...and that makes it seem like a party.

Arthur, get rid of him.

He's bent on the destruction of the Table.

He's setting knight against knight.

Making them yearn for their own lands.

Every evening like a witch over a cauldron he mixes wine and disloyalty.

I know of his activities, Lance.

Do you also know he is in constant touch with the knights you banished?

And they're raising an army.

I know.

And it is my own fault.

I should have officially recognized him when I took the throne.

It is the proper procedure.

I intended to do it and I should have done it.

But I didn't.

I couldn't.

I hadn't...

...counted on...

...caring for Jenny as much...

...and I had hoped that one day our child would sit...

...on the throne of England.

The fates...

...have not been kind.

The fates...

...must not have the last word, Lance.

We have been through much together, we three.

And by the sword, Excalibur, we will go through this.

Oh, Mordred is filled with hatred, trying to destroy those I love...

...and trying to make his inheritance come faster.

But we must not give him the opportunity.

We must not let...

...our passions destroy our dreams.

Let him cross my path.

I'll run him through.

You will not, Lance.

He's your mortal enemy!

He's my son.

He's all there is of me. The only child I will ever have.

Oh, it may be madness, but somehow I hope that there is...

...something of me in him that I can reach.

So I will have your word, Lance?

You have my word.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Would you like to be alone, Arthur?

No, Jenny. Jenny, please. Please don't go.

What did you do today, Jenny?

Just trivial things.

Oh! That's exactly what I want to hear about.

Tempests and tea cups...

...mountains made out of molehills, anything.

Anything you can think of...

...that is not fit for a king.

[SINGING] What do the simple folk do

To help them escape when they're blue?

The shepherd who is ailing The milkmaid who is glum

The cobbler who is wailing From nailing his thumb

When they're beset and besieged

The folks not noblesse-ly obliged

However do they manage To shed their weary lot?

Oh, what

Do simple folk do?

We do not

[SINGING] I have been informed

By those who know them well

They find relief in quite a clever way

When they're sorely pressed They whistle for a spell

And whistling seems To brighten up their day

And that's what

Simple folk do

So they say

They just whistle?

So they say.

[WHISTLING]

[GUENEVERE BLOWING]

[BOTH LAUGH]

[SINGING] What else do the simple folk do

To perk up the heart and get through?

The wee folk and the grown folk Who wander to and fro

Have ways known to their own folk We throne-folk don't know

When all the doldrums begin

What keeps each of them in his skin?

What ancient native custom Provides the needed glow?

Oh, what

Do simple folk do?

Do you know?

[SINGING] Once along the road

I came upon a lad

Singing in a voice Three times his size

And when I asked him why He told me he was sad

And singing always made his spirits rise

So that's

What simple folk do

I surmise

Arise, my love, arise my love Apollo's lighting the skies, my love

The meadows shine with columbine And daffodils blossom away

Hear Venus call to one and all Come taste delight while you may

BOTH: The world is bright, and all is right And life is merry and gay

The world is bright, and all is right And life is merry and gay

[SIGHS]

What else do the simple folk do?

They must have a system or two

They obviously outshine us At turning tears to mirth

Have tricks a royal highness Is minus from birth

What, then, I wonder Do they

To chase all the goblins away?

They have some tribal sorcery You haven't mentioned yet

Oh, what

Do simple folk do

To forget?

Often, I am told They dance a fiery dance

And whirl till they're Completely uncontrolled

Soon the mind is blank And all are in a trance

A violent trance astounding to behold

And that's

What simple folk do

So I'm told

- Really? - I have it on the best authority.

[TRUMPET BLOWING]

[HORSES NEIGHING]

[ALL CLAMORING]

PELLINORE: Stop it!

For God's sake, stop it!

CHORUS [SINGING]: Through the clouds gray with years

Over hills wet with tears

To a world young and free

We will fly Follow me

April green everywhere

April's song always there

Come and hear Come and see

Follow me

Merlyn's schoolhouse.

CHORUS [SINGING]: To a tree

Where our hopes hang high

To a dream that should never die

Where our long lost tomorrows

Still are in the sweet bye and bye

Time goes by Or do we

Close your eyes And you'll see

[SQUIRREL CHIRPING]

As we were We can be

Weep no more Follow me

Follow me Follow me

Follow me

[SQUIRREL CHATTERING]

Hello!

[ECHOES]

Hello...

...Wart!

[ECHOES]

MERLYN: Hello...

...Wart.

[IN UNISON] What's the best thing for being sad? You taught me once.

The best thing for being sad is to learn something.

[IN UNISON] Learn something?

MERLYN: It's the one thing, Wart, that never fails.

You may grow old...

...and trembling in your arteries.

You may lie awake at night...

...listening to the disorder of your veins.

You may miss your father, your mother...

...your dog...

...your only love.

My love.

MERLYN: There's only one thing for all of it.

Learn.

Learn...

...why the world wags...

...and what wags it.

[OWL HOOTS]

ARTHUR [THINKING]: How could I learn if I couldn't think?

And I couldn't think, so I couldn't learn.

Not even to think the thought, I thought.

[IN UNISON] But even the thought, "I'm not thinking a thought"...

...is thinking, isn't it?

MERLYN: Yes.

And thinking is something you should get into the habit of making use of...

...as often as possible.

Thinking helps in everything. Everything but love, that is.

Love is a sort of...

...seventh day. So thinking can rest.

But this is not Sunday, so look down.

Look into the water, Wart.

Tell me what you see.

[IN UNISON] Water...

...fish and us.

Forget the water.

Forget us, and think of the fish.

Think yourself a fish.

Feel yourself a fish.

Breathe with your gills.

Now be a fish.

[WATER TRICKLING]

Well, how do you like it?

ARTHUR: How big a fish am I? I just saw a big fish chasing a smaller fish.

Am I the dinner or the diner?

Work it out. Think!

What are you learning as a fish?

ARTHUR: Oh, not very much. Big fish eat little fish, just like everywhere else.

Except somehow that doesn't seem right, does it?

MERLYN: Ah!

ARTHUR: Why couldn't I be a bird?

I would really enjoy being...

[WIND WHISTLING]

ARTHUR: What am I?

MERLYN: You're a hawk!

ARTHUR: Has the hunting season started?

By George, I believe it has!

ARTHUR: I'm flying higher!

Look down. Tell me what you see.

ARTHUR: I see lakes...

...trees, forests.

Can you see Camelot?

ARTHUR: Yes, I can.

Can you see the next county?

ARTHUR: Uh, yes! I can see the middle of it.

It's Greylock Valley, but I can't see the edges of it.

You see the edges when you're down here?

ARTHUR: Of course I can. The boundaries are clearly marked.

Then what do you know as a hawk...

...that you don't know as Arthur? Think!

ARTHUR: I'm not thinking. I'm just gliding!

[ARTHUR CHEERS]

MORDRED: Your majesty.

Are you alone?

Not now.

Isn't this rather far from the palace for you, Mordred?

I wanted to see this legendary forest you've told me so much about.

This is where Merlyn taught you, is it not?

Yes.

Oh, yes, it is.

There are times when the only vacation spot in the world...

...is the past.

I can't quite remember all that Merlyn taught me, but I do remember this.

That happiness is a virtue.

No one can be...

...happy and wicked.

Triumphant, perhaps, but not happy.

Now, if I could teach you that...

...and make you believe it...

...then at last, you could be my son.

Are you happy, Your Majesty?

Yes.

Is the queen?

Yes.

And Sir Lancelot?

What are you implying?

Nothing, Your Majesty.

Simply that I did not realize...

...that deception and infidelity were candidates for the badge of virtue.

Whom are you accusing?

And of what crime?

And with what proof?

Isn't your civil law marvelous?

No proof, no crime.

Ergo:

Virtue, happiness.

You want me to be your son. No more than I.

Then prove to me I'm wrong.

Stay in the forest tonight. Give your son the lesson of this life.

Show him how virtue can triumph without the help of...

...fear?

ARTHUR: Return to the palace...

...and inform the court...

...that His Majesty will be hunting all through the night...

...and will return...

...in the midmorning.

MORDRED: Yes...

...milord.

Merlyn.

Merlyn?

Where are you?

[OWL HOOTING]

Merlyn...

Get to them.

Warn them.

Oh, tell them to be wise.

[GRUNTING]

Milords! Both of you! Are you drunk or mad?

Directly under the king's window!

MORDRED: The king's not there.

- He's away for the night. LANCELOT: Where?

Hunting. He'll be back at midmorning.

I must get back to the castle myself.

I must get back!

Jenny.

Jenny, come away with me.

To Joyous Gard. Let's have it open and aboveboard.

I cannot live like this another day.

And this man we both love...

...what would you do, force him to declare war on you?

Where either you or he or both would be killed? And hundreds of others?

I never wanted to love you.

Your God arranged it.

Your God must solve it.

Arthur is my husband. I must stay with him as long as he wants me.

Then so be it, Jenny.

I will...

...never ask you again.

Nor shall I come to you again.

I swear it.

And I will never come to you again.

[SINGING] I loved you

Once in silence

And misery was all I knew

Trying so

To keep my love from showing

All the while not knowing

You loved me too

Yes, loved me

In lonesome silence

Your heart

Filled with dark despair

Thinking love

Would flame in you forever

And I'd never, never

Know the flame was there

Then one day we cast away Our secret longing

The raging tide we held inside Would hold no more

The silence

At last was broken

We flung wide

Our prison door

Every joyous word of love Was spoken

And now there's Twice as much grief

Twice the strain for us

Twice the despair Twice the pain for us

As we had known before

[SINGING] The silence

At last was broken

We flung wide Our prison door

Every joyous word of love Was spoken

And after all had been said

Here we are, my love

Silent once more

And not far...

My love!

BOTH: From where we were before

Don't reach for your dagger, Lancelot.

I accuse you of treason and order you both to stand trial...

...for your crime.

Surrender in the name of the king.

[SCREAMS]

[SWORDS CLANGING]

Take him! Take him!

You cowards!

[KNIGHTS GRUNTING]

Guard! That man!

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

[HORSE NEIGHS]

Lance!

Oh, no!

CHORUS [SINGING]: Guenevere, Guenevere

Oh they found Guenevere

In the dying candle's gleam

Came the sundown Of a dream

On a day dark and drear

Came to trial Guenevere

Ruled the jury For her shame

She be sentenced To the flame

JUDGE: Verdict:

Guilty of treason against king and country.

Sentence:

To be burned at the stake until death!

CHORUS [SINGING]: Guenevere, Guenevere

Lance will save Guenevere

Any moment he'll appear

And he'll rescue Guenevere

GUARD [SINGING]: Five a.m., oh, it's near

Not a sound do I hear

And the bells Will soon ring clear

Won't he rescue Guenevere?

CHORUS: Oh hurry, Lancelot, hurry There isn't too much time

Oh hurry, or soon those evil bells In the tower will chime

Oh hurry, the guard will soon Be gathering around the stake

And soon they will come To take Guenevere

Guenevere, Guenevere

Cannot save Guenevere

As this fighting time is near

And the dust blew Guenevere

Who will save Guenevere?

[BELL TOLLING]

[DRUMROLL]

Where is the King?

He's supposed to watch the execution.

He's supposed to be here, at this window. It's the law, isn't it?

Do you think for one moment Lancelot will not rescue her?

But if he tries...

...that means that Arthur will have to fight him, won't he?

Is there no rescue in sight?

No, not yet, sir.

Your Majesty, why not ignore the verdict and pardon her?

But you can't do that, can you?

Let her die, your life is over.

Let her live, your life's a fraud.

Kill the queen or kill the law.

Wart!

I'm afraid...

...you must come to the window.

The executioner is waiting...

...for your signal.

[HORSES GALLOPING IN DISTANCE]

[CROWD MURMURING]

- Is it Lancelot? PELLINORE: I don't know.

[SHOUTING]

Is it, Pelly?

It is!

Wart, my dear fellow...

[STOMPS FOOT]

...it is!

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

Sweet heaven, what a sight!

Can you see it from there, Arthur?

Can you see your goodly Lancelot murdering your goodly knights?

[PANTING]

Sire...

...most of the guard...

...is killed.

And over 80 knights.

They must be heading for the channel. We'll make ready the army to follow.

We want revenge! Revenge!

Your table has cracked, Arthur.

Shall I save the timbers for her next stake?

[MURMURING]

Merlyn...

...make me a hawk.

Let me fly away from here.

Arthur...

We want to return with you.

Let us pay for what we've done.

At the stake?

No.

For what end? Justice? They've forgotten justice.

They want revenge.

Revenge...

...the most worthless of causes.

It's too late.

The Table is dead.

It exists no more.

Half my knights were killed in the yard.

Mordred is organizing an army against me.

The rest of the knights are in their tents...

...itching for dawn, cheerful.

Cheerful to be at war.

It's those old uncivilized days...

...come back again.

Those days...

...those dreadful days that we tried...

...to put asleep forever.

It is your wish that this dread battle go on?

It is not my wish!

I can think no longer of what to do except to ride the tide of events.

Oh, what folly!

All we've been through...

...for nothing except an idea.

Something that you cannot taste...

...or touch, smell...

...or feel.

Without...

...substance, without life...

...reality...

...memory.

[TRUMPET SOUNDS]

The charade will soon begin.

Please, please. Please go back to Joyous Gard.

Jenny is not at Joyous Gard, Arthur.

She is with the Holy Sisters.

Is there nothing to be done?

There's nothing to be done...

...but to play out the game...

...and leave the decisions to God.

Go now, Lance.

You must go too, Jenny.

[WHIMPERING] I know.

So often, in the past...

...I would look in your eyes and I would find there forgiveness.

Perhaps one day, in the future...

...it shall be there again.

But I won't be with you. I won't see it.

[SOBBING]

Goodbye...

...my love.

My dearest love.

[TWIG SNAPS NEARBY]

Who's there?

Come out, I say!

Uh...

Forgive me, Your Majesty.

I was searching for the sergeant of arms and got lost.

I did not wish to disturb you.

Who are you? Where did you come from?

You ought to be in bed.

Are you a page?

I stowed away on one of the boats, Your Majesty.

I came to fight for the Round Table.

I'm very good with a bow.

And do you intend to kill people with this bow of yours?

Oh, yes, milord! A great many, I hope!

But supposing that they...

...killed you?

Then I shall be dead, milord.

But I don't intend to be dead. I intend to be a knight!

A knight?

Yes, milord. Of the Round Table.

And when did you decide upon this extinct profession?

Was your village once protected by knights?

Did your father serve a knight? Was your mother once saved by a knight?

Oh, no, milord! I'd never even seen a knight until I stowed away.

I only know of them...

...the stories people tell!

From the stories people tell...

...you wish to become...

...a knight?

Now tell me, what do you think you know of the Knights of the Round Table?

I know everything, milord.

Might for right!

Right for right!

Justice for all!

A Round Table where all knights would sit.

Everything!

[SIGHS]

Come here.

- What's your name? - It is Tom, milord.

- Where do you come from? - From Warwick, milord.

Now listen to me, Tom of Warwick.

You will not fight in the battle, understand?

Yes, milord.

You will run behind the lines and hide until it is over.

And then you will return home...

...to England...

...alive.

To grow up...

...and grow old.

Do you understand?

You will remember...

...what I, the king, tell you...

...and do as I command.

[SINGING] Each evening

From December to December

Before you drift to sleep Upon your cot

Think back on all the tales That you remember

Of Camelot

Ask every person If he's heard the story

And tell it strong and clear If he has not

That once there was A fleeting wisp of glory

Called Camelot

Camelot

Camelot!

Now say it out With love and joy

Camelot!

Yes, Camelot...

...my boy.

[SINGING] Where once it never rained

Till after sundown

By 8 a.m. The morning fog had flown

Don't let it be forgot

That once there was a spot

For one brief shining moment

That was known as

Camelot!

Your Majesty.

Give me that sword.

Kneel, Tom. Kneel.

With this sword, Excalibur...

...I knight you Sir Tom of Warwick.

CHORUS [SINGING]: Camelot

And I command you...

...to return home...

...and carry out my orders.

Yes, milord!

Arthur, what are you doing? You have a battle to fight.

I have won my battle, Pelly.

And here...

...is my victory.

What we did will be remembered. You'll see.

Now run, Sir Tom.

Behind the lines!

Arthur. Who was that?

One of what we all are, Pelly.

Less than a drop in the great blue motion of the sunlit sea.

But it seems that some of the drops sparkle!

Some of them do sparkle!

Run, boy!

Run!

Oh, run...

...my boy!

CHORUS [SINGING]: Where once it never rained

Till after sundown

By 8 a.m. The morning fog had flown

Don't let it be forgot

That once there was a spot

For one brief shining moment

That was known as

Camelot

[English - US - SDH]