Original subtitles

♪ ♪

Congratulations on turning in your creative writing assignments.

Most of you.

Challenging your imaginations makes you better thinkers.

Better thinkers are better scientists.

Or this stuff keeps us from actual science.

A strong opinion from and uninformed source.

Karmi, would you please read the first chapter of your story?

Of course. I'm always happy to inspire the underachievers.

(mutters, groans)

By the time Big Hero 6

knew the evil Momakase had lured them into a trap,

it was too late.

-It's a trap! -But we realized it too late.

The city is mine now, heroes.

I never got to tell my beautiful girlfriend, Karmi, how I felt.

There, there. She knew. She's very smart.

She is! And she's here to save you.

Who are you?

Didn't you hear us? She's Captain Cutie's beautiful girlfriend, Karmi.

Yes. I will play it back for you.

Beautiful girlfriend-- Beautiful girlfriend--

-Beautiful-- -Enough!

And how do you plan to stop me?

I designed a device to reverse the polarity of your evil vortex.

(sighs) She's the best.

Ugh! No way.

-Problem, weirdo? -Yeah. A whole list of them.

Instead of criticism, might I suggest creation?

Have fun staring at a blank computer screen all night.

You wish.

(crickets chirping)

Baymax: You have been staring at a blank computer screen,

all night.

(groans)

Hello. I am Baymax.

(theme music playing)

♪ Wah-oh ♪

♪ Wah-oh ♪

♪ Wah-oh ♪

♪ Wah-oh, wah-oh ♪

♪ Wah-oh, wah-oh ♪

-(crackling) -(heavy thudding)

Whatcha... working... on... sis?

-It's-- -Shiny!

What's that do? And that? And that? And that?

-Oh, I definitely-- -Noodle!

-Yeah, sis? -I'm trying to work.

(chuckles) Okay.

Bet ya I can guess what you're working on.

Um...

-Give me a hint. -Maybe I could actually get work done

if you were somewhere else.

-Not much of a hint. -Take this hint.

Go! Anywhere but here.

Make yourself useful.

(dejectedly): Okeydoke.

...suddenly went completely black.

Okay, Baymax, now play that back.

Hiro (on recording): As the concentration shifted,

the chemical clock reaction suddenly went completely black.

I don't get it.

It's a scary story.

A chemically accurate scary story.

Accuracy does not equal entertainment.

It's not "accur-tainment."

-(groans) Baymax, erase it. -All of it?

Yeah, go ahead and erase every bit of that. Super boring.

-Yeah, well, he's right. -Baymax: (beeps) Deleted.

Science-horror might be too advanced for your first work of fiction.

Maybe write what you know.

All I know is I hate writing.

Ooh! Writing about how you hate writing would be like meta.

Super meta!

-Go Go (over radio): Sounds like you're avoiding it. -I am not avoiding it.

Aah!

Yup. Avoiding it.

Hey, maybe reading Karmi's latest work would spark something.

I mean, it's got everything:

action, adventure, suspense, us!

That's it. I know us.

I'll write a Big Hero 6 story.

-Isn't that what she did? -Well, yeah. But mine will be, um...

-Baymax: Scientifically accurate. -Better.

Interesting.

An AU-- that stands for "Alternate Universe," for you fanfic newbies--

inside of another AU is the perfect amount of AU!

Right? Well, what do you think Baymax?

-(beeping) -I think there's a disturbance at Night Market Square.

-Let's move out. -This conversation is TBC.

-That sounds for "to be conti"-- Okay! -Yeah.

Hiro: Noodle Burger Boy.

Perhaps these parts will fill the emptiness inside of me.

Is he okay?

Whatever. Move in.

Great. Happy, hyperactive heroes.

Awesome.

Aah!

Existence in an endless void.

Is it just me or is Noodle Burger Boy kinda... OOC?

(sighs) Fine. What does that stand for?

"Out of character." Come on!

Hiro: I can fix that.

Baymax, power kick!

Typical me.

Give it up, Noodle Burger Boy!

Failure is the inevitable result of effort.

Uh... okay.

So, you... you surrender?

Why not? My day can't get any worse.

(creaking)

I can't believe it. He's gone.

Taken out by a flying billboard.

Baymax: Fred, it was a falling billboard.

There, there.

(sniffles) Goodbye, Noodle Burger buddy...

who was also a Noodle Burger adversary.

I will admit that.

-How's the writing going, Hiro? -Check it out.

Karmi, thinking she could save Big Hero 6

from Momakase's trap, was about to fail so much.

I made a shiny thing to reverse the spinning sky thing's spinning-ness.

-(fritzes) -(gasps)

That's so weird.

Hiro: Except it wasn't. 'Cause Karmi's not an electrical engineer,

and is also the worst.

Luckily, the problem's obvious.

Backwards regulator.

By the time it's fixed, it will be far too late.

Fixed it.

You win this time, Big Hero 6.

I don't know why I failed so badly.

I can make you a list.

(sighs) Pretty good, right?

Well, if you are open to taking notes...

That dialogue was way on the nose.

Plus the main character's a little unlikable.

Baymax: Hiro, I am concerned about your elevated blood pressure.

I think what we all need to do is to think about something happier.

Uh, what's happier than saving the day

and making Karmi look bad?

Well, I do love a good love story.

Ooh! This is so soothing.

It's great. I just wish I could have been more helpful earlier.

Go talk to her about... you know.

What? No. I don't--

-You know? -Don't be shy.

You're so tall, so much taller than averagely tall me,

and so nice, so go for it.

Cheer up, Karmi.

Momakase would have had us if you hadn't shown up.

-But you said-- -I know.

And I was wrong. I'm sorry.

Then why do you act like you hate me in front of everyone?

Averagely tall girl just made me realize the truth.

I've been intimidated by how much I actually... like you.

Averagely tall girl is such a good friend.

-Shh! Quiet. -Thank you, Go Go.

-There is no way-- -No, not that.

-I heard something. -(whirring)

Noodle Burger Boy's back!

Noodle Burger Boy's back.

Salutations and good tidings, gentlefolk.

I've come to relieve you of your gizmodic goods.

Oh, this will do. Yes.

Oh, this will do nicely. Yes, yes, yes.

Oh. (giggles) Put it in. What do we have here?

-Okay. That's new. -Purse.

Wrench.

-(grunts) -(clangs)

Fisticuffs, eh?

So it shall be.

(Honey Lemon grunts)

Nice, Honey Lemon!

I say, Laser. I say.

Laser, laser. Oh, dear. Laser.

(shrieks)

I just finished organizing that.

You're going down, noodle knock-off.

Go Go, duck!

Oh, misery me.

You guys think he's okay or--?

Pretty sure no.

What is with these random Noodle Burger Boys?

Maybe they time traveled from the future.

Or the past!

We're talking different timelines in the Noodle-verse.

(gasps)

I just blew my own mind.

-Maybe Trina's involved. -What do you think, Hiro?

-Honey Lemon: Hiro. -What? Oh, sorry.

I was working on my story. I had a breakthrough.

♪ ♪

(screams)

We will destroy you, Karmi.

I should have known Caption Cutie could never love me.

I'm the worst.

You are the worst.

But that's not the reason.

We are being mind-controlled

via complex network of advanced neural implants.

You wouldn't get it.

You're right. I don't get it.

Anyway, our new master demands that we destroy you.

I'm so scared! (screaming)

Hiro: Karmi tried to hide

but it was pointless because even under mind control,

- Big Hero 6 is too smart-- -Hold on.

Why would someone take control of us just to go after Karmi?

You're right. She's not that important.

I just couldn't think of an actual reason why

fan-fic me would try and, ugh, kiss her.

Because you do really like--

♪ ♪

Right. Mind control.

-Makes sense. -No, it doesn't.

Yeah? Well, how would you do it then?

Are you just trying to get me to do your assignment for you?

(weakly): No...

Unless you want to.

(Go Go groans)

Karmi's in here.

Great. Momakase.

The mind control thing?

All me.

-Wait. You're a robot? -Yup.

-Them too? -Uh-huh.

This is stupid. I'm done.

Baymax: Noodle Burger Boy is attacking the shipyard.

Oh! I am digging the minimalist approach.

You are still gonna finish the story later though, right?

-Definitely not. -Shh, shh, shh.

No spoilers.

Argh!

What mighty treasures await me discovery here?

Yo-ho, yo-ho! Me hearties, yo-ho!

All right. I kind of like this version.

(yelling)

Noodle Burger Boy: Laser! Laser!

Laser!

Yeah, I take it back.

Me hearties, yo-ho!

Take that, ya scurvy sea dogs.

What's he after, Baymax?

Baymax: It appears to be... seafood.

(shudders) Why seafood?

It doesn't matter. Let's go.

What be this? Hostiles?

Argh! Laser!

Laser!

(grunting)

Have at ye, bilge rat!

A rotten fool.

Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!

-Yo-ho! -Aah!

Argh!

Ah, you think you got me bettered, you blooming cockroaches.

(grunts)

Dead men tell no tales.

Why is he hitting me with a fish?

Blow the man down.

Baymax: Fred, do not look.

Wow. What are the odds.

So, any theories why pirate burger boy was after fish?

Okay, time for a break from all this thinking.

It's exhausting.

Go Go, I believe you left us with a cliffhanger.

Nope. I'm done. Besides, it's not my assignment.

(sighs) Except I'm still kind of stuck.

Baymax: Hiro, if it is acceptable,

I will attempt to continue your fan fiction.

(giggling) What?

-Uh, really, Baymax? -Baymax: Yes.

From my observations, fan fiction seems to be an extrapolation

from various instances of previous behavior.

it is a simulation.

Operating in the dark is potentially dangerous.

This lab should be used for scientific purposes only.

These robots require reprogramming.

We must run extensive diagnostics.

This will take approximately 10 to 13 hours.

(Baymax beeping)

Huh.

Baymax, it's okay to skip past the boring parts.

Oh. Okay.

Your diagnostics were successful.

Thank you for your assistance.

I am designed to help.

The end.

-Huh. -Huh?

That was, um... very realistic, Baymax.

Thank you, Honey Lemon.

I am open to any constructive criticism you have.

Well, if you're asking...

You really didn't answer why anyone would even build

evil robot copies of us in the first place.

Sounds like Wasabi has a theory,

which, about time. It's your turn.

Right, right. What? No. There are turns?

Wait a minute. If you're all bots, where's the real Big Hero 6?

Wasabi: Little did she know, Big Hero 6 was waking up

to the surprise of their lives.

Wow. This is the cleanest room I've ever been imprisoned in.

Just because we're evil doesn't mean we're unsanitary.

Thank you. I'm so over the abandoned warehouses and subways.

Looking at you Baron Von Steamer.

So, what are you gonna do with us?

Now that the city is distracted by your doubles,

we can do whatever--

Wait. That's it.

So, you're just taking over then?

Yeah. This is good. You're gonna do your own homework now, Hiro.

No, not the story.

I'm talking about the attack of the Noodle Burger Boys.

-What about them? -It's just, while we were distracted by the copies,

what was the original doing?

(woman screams)

Oh, no.

Hee-hee, hee-hee, hee-hee.

Honestly, I'm not sure why the bad guys

have even taken this long to steal my Kaiju again.

And honestly, I'm not sure why you keep rebuilding it.

Give up, Noodle Burger Boy. You can't stop all six of us.

Howdy and hello, misters!

We are delivering this 10-ton Kaiju-bun

as a present for our sister.

-Our? -Hiro, watch out!

Meet my latest model burger brothers!

They are fresh off the grill.

Sis told me to make myself useful.

So I made myself and they are useful!

It's over, Big Hero misters!

Baymax, rocket fist.

What?

Did I mention I had the exterior reinforced

after the whole giant-shock-wave-about- to-destroy-the-city incident?

Baymax: You did not.

They're so quiet.

-It's a little creepy. -Hiro: Anyone have any ideas?

Ooh! I do. And it goes like this.

As the evil villains loomed over our heroes...

Now that you're city is distracted by your doubles,

we can do whatever we want.

Sounds like the plot from Captain Fancy , issue 252: "Fancy Squared."

Great issue!

I also love comics.

-Ooh, and we reference them. -Same.

Baymax: My algorithms say Fred's knowledge of pop culture is totes impressive.

Enough! We all agree Fred's absolutely spectacularly amazing,

but we're still finishing you.

What are you doing, Noodle nincompoop?

In a shocking twist, I suddenly remembered

my friendship with Fred from when I was not evil, mister.

Baymax: I am a robot. Robots can do that.

Gee, mister. We're Noodle Burger buddies again.

Villain redemption story!

♪ ♪

Classic.

And we all lived happily ever--

(grunts)

I meant we need ideas on how to defeat Noodle Burger Boy.

Oh! But it was still a good story, right?

I disagree, mister fixter.

Man, everyone's a critic.

Fine! How would you do it, mister?

Hee-hee, hee-hee.

(video rewinding)

Now that the city is distracted by your doubles,

I can finally defeat you!

But ingenious and adorable leader,

we've already defeated them.

Not at a dance-off.

Dance is the ultimate form of battle, misters.

Misters, I do not think we can win.

Golly, misters. We can try.

Ready, set, dance!

(funky music playing)

(grunting)

Hee-hee!

Jazz hands!

Wow. He is the superior mister, misters.

It is-- whoa, whoa!

It is too much for my dance matrix, mister.

Whoa. Only thing we can do is join him as his backup dancers.

Hee-hee, hee-hee.

Hee-hee, hee-hee.

Wow.

My burger brothers!

What happened?

Sorry, we stopped them during your story.

But we were still listening, promise.

This isn't over!

I will defeat you.

And I will rebuild!

And I will fix them with all the fixings!

Hiro: Forgetting about someone? Baymax, rocket fist.

Noodle Burger Boy: This is not swell, mister! Whoa!

(grunting)

Everyone saw that coming.

Am I right?

Guess... what... I... did... sis!

Playtime's over, little bro.

Time to get serious about Big Hero 6.

We must avenge father.

And this is how we do it.

It's... so... shiny!

Hee-hee!

Hiro, would you like assistance with your assignment?

I can run several more fan fiction simulations.

Uh, no. It's okay, Baymax.

You know, uh, everyone's creative styles are totally different.

I think it's time for me to try and come up with something of my own.

Yes. Perhaps that would be best.

Yeah. And I'm gonna write from experience.

Ah, your assignment, Mr. Hamada.

Yeah, it's a story about a boy, his brother, and a robot.

(theme music playing)