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1
00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:07,142
[TV static drones]
2
00:00:07,225 --> 00:00:09,434
[bright tone]
3
00:00:10,559 --> 00:00:11,893
[classical music]
4
00:00:11,975 --> 00:00:13,975
- That's why me and my grandma
don't talk anymore.
5
00:00:14,059 --> 00:00:15,184
- Aw, Christin.
both: Aww.
6
00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:17,351
- No, 'cause she's dead,
not because we don't get along.
7
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,851
- Why didn't you say that
in the first place?
8
00:00:18,934 --> 00:00:20,309
- Yeah, you know I'm a medium.
9
00:00:20,392 --> 00:00:22,392
- Oh, that's right.
- Oh, this is a good place.
10
00:00:22,476 --> 00:00:24,351
- Yeah, I like this, too.
11
00:00:24,434 --> 00:00:27,017
- Whoo, I'm hot.
12
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:28,684
- Oh, oh, okay,
I see you.
13
00:00:28,768 --> 00:00:31,142
- Come through, tank top!
- Yes!
14
00:00:31,225 --> 00:00:33,517
- Oh, it's like that?
I got the same shirt on.
15
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:36,476
[all laughing]
16
00:00:36,559 --> 00:00:38,851
- Oh, my God, y'all.
Y'all crazy.
17
00:00:38,934 --> 00:00:42,225
- Bitch, oww!
- My arm!
18
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:43,809
[hammering]
19
00:00:43,893 --> 00:00:46,392
- Whew!
- Look at God.
20
00:00:46,476 --> 00:00:48,017
- Won't he do it?
- Won't he?
21
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:49,184
[all laughing]
22
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,351
[all shouting]
23
00:00:51,434 --> 00:00:54,392
[all laughing]
24
00:00:54,476 --> 00:00:58,351
♪ ♪
25
00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,392
[smacks]
26
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,559
all: Ooh!
27
00:01:01,643 --> 00:01:03,893
- Bees, beetles, bugs.
- Okay, we're almost there!
28
00:01:03,975 --> 00:01:05,392
We're about to make it!
Whoo!
29
00:01:05,476 --> 00:01:07,434
[all shouting]
30
00:01:07,517 --> 00:01:08,559
- Yes!
- Wow!
31
00:01:08,643 --> 00:01:09,726
- Yeah!
- [exhales sharply]
32
00:01:09,809 --> 00:01:11,100
- This is so beautiful.
33
00:01:11,184 --> 00:01:13,392
Mother Nature should, like,
take a selfie.
34
00:01:13,476 --> 00:01:15,017
- Yeah, she did her thing.
35
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:18,517
- We made it to the top.
- ♪ Hey, to the top ♪
36
00:01:18,601 --> 00:01:20,225
♪ We made it to the top ♪
37
00:01:20,309 --> 00:01:23,934
all: ♪ Hey, to the top,
we made it to the top ♪
38
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:27,851
♪ Hey, to the top,
we made it to the top ♪
39
00:01:27,934 --> 00:01:30,184
♪ Hey, to the top ♪
- Oh, my God!
40
00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:32,225
Look at that little chipmunk!
41
00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:33,517
all: Aww.
42
00:01:33,601 --> 00:01:34,893
- Oww!
43
00:01:34,975 --> 00:01:37,392
[all chuckling]
- Oh, my God.
44
00:01:37,476 --> 00:01:40,351
Did that chipmunk just trip?
- Oh, chipmunk trip!
45
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,643
- Ah, chipmunk trip!
[all laughing]
46
00:01:42,726 --> 00:01:45,601
♪ ♪
47
00:01:45,684 --> 00:01:46,809
- Oh, oh.
48
00:01:46,893 --> 00:01:48,893
Whoa-whoa-whoa!
49
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,809
- Oh--oh, she's sliding.
She's sliding.
50
00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:52,434
I thought--oh, no, no,
no, no, no!
51
00:01:52,517 --> 00:01:53,643
Just let her go!
52
00:01:53,726 --> 00:01:56,100
- The world would have you
believe that all black women
53
00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:58,100
are angry all the time.
54
00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:00,975
Actually,
we're incredibly joyful.
55
00:02:01,059 --> 00:02:04,392
In fact, our joy
is so powerful,
56
00:02:04,476 --> 00:02:05,934
it can be dangerous.
57
00:02:06,017 --> 00:02:08,392
Even deadly.
But don't worry.
58
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:13,434
That lady who laugh-slid
down the mountain is fine.
59
00:02:13,517 --> 00:02:15,643
That chipmunk,
on the other hand,
60
00:02:15,726 --> 00:02:17,726
died of embarrassment.
61
00:02:17,809 --> 00:02:19,726
[laughs]
62
00:02:19,809 --> 00:02:22,643
He busted his chipmunk ass!
63
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:26,809
[laughing]
He chipmunk-tripped!
64
00:02:26,893 --> 00:02:30,517
He chipmunked!
[laughs]
65
00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:32,975
[blow lands]
66
00:02:33,059 --> 00:02:35,975
[Megan Thee Stallion's
"Hot Girl"]
67
00:02:36,059 --> 00:02:38,142
♪ ♪
68
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:40,267
- ♪ All the hot girls
make it pop, pop, pop ♪
69
00:02:40,351 --> 00:02:42,643
♪ Bad bitches with the bag
say, "Ah, ya, ya" ♪
70
00:02:42,726 --> 00:02:43,975
♪ If he ain't talking
'bout no money ♪
71
00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:45,476
♪ Tell him, "Bye, bye, bye" ♪
72
00:02:45,559 --> 00:02:47,851
♪ And if you see a mad ho,
tell her, "Hah, hah, hah" ♪
73
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,851
♪ Hey, don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
74
00:02:49,934 --> 00:02:51,351
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
75
00:02:51,434 --> 00:02:52,643
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
76
00:02:52,726 --> 00:02:54,017
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
77
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:56,309
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho,
huh, fuck a broke ho ♪
78
00:02:56,392 --> 00:02:57,643
♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
79
00:02:57,726 --> 00:02:58,934
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
80
00:02:59,017 --> 00:03:00,975
♪ All the hot girls
make it pop, pop, pop ♪
81
00:03:01,059 --> 00:03:03,184
♪ Bad bitches with the bag
say, "Ah, ya, ya" ♪
82
00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,476
♪ If he ain't talking
'bout no money ♪
83
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,184
♪ Tell him, "Bye, bye, bye" ♪
84
00:03:06,267 --> 00:03:08,392
♪ And if you see a mad ho,
tell her, "Hah, hah, hah" ♪
85
00:03:08,476 --> 00:03:10,351
♪ Hey, don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
86
00:03:10,434 --> 00:03:11,726
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
87
00:03:11,809 --> 00:03:13,059
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
88
00:03:13,142 --> 00:03:14,726
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
89
00:03:14,809 --> 00:03:16,851
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho,
huh, fuck a broke ho ♪
90
00:03:16,934 --> 00:03:19,184
♪ Don't get mad, ho,
get a bag, ho ♪
91
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:20,184
♪ Ah ♪
92
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:23,726
[birds chirping]
93
00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:27,517
[electronic music]
94
00:03:27,601 --> 00:03:29,851
♪ ♪
95
00:03:29,934 --> 00:03:32,059
- Ooh, will you let me do
your eyebrows next?
96
00:03:32,142 --> 00:03:33,643
- Rude.
Wait a minute.
97
00:03:33,726 --> 00:03:35,142
Is there something wrong
with my eyebrows?
98
00:03:35,225 --> 00:03:36,351
- Ooh, I have a question.
- So do I.
99
00:03:36,434 --> 00:03:37,684
What's wrong with my eyebrows?
100
00:03:37,768 --> 00:03:39,851
- Who was the first person
that made you think about sex?
101
00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:42,351
- Yeah, I'm not clear what this
has to do with my eyebrows.
102
00:03:42,434 --> 00:03:43,476
- I've moved on.
103
00:03:43,559 --> 00:03:44,517
Who was the first person
that made you
104
00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:47,017
wanna hunch your pillow?
- Oh.
105
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,100
The first person who made me
think about fucking
106
00:03:49,184 --> 00:03:50,684
was probably--
- André 3000.
107
00:03:50,768 --> 00:03:51,726
- What?
108
00:03:51,809 --> 00:03:52,726
- You didn't even hear
the question.
109
00:03:52,809 --> 00:03:53,893
- I heard "fucking."
110
00:03:53,975 --> 00:03:54,893
And when it comes to fucking,
111
00:03:54,975 --> 00:03:56,726
André 3000 is always
the answer.
112
00:03:56,809 --> 00:03:58,267
- Not with all those hats.
- [laughs]
113
00:03:58,351 --> 00:03:59,934
- The first person
to make me think about fucking
114
00:04:00,017 --> 00:04:01,893
was actually two people.
- Mmm.
115
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,559
- André 300 and Big Boi.
- No.
116
00:04:04,643 --> 00:04:06,351
Mulder and Scully.
- That tracks.
117
00:04:06,434 --> 00:04:07,559
- Oh?
118
00:04:07,643 --> 00:04:09,809
- To this day, I still
get hot whenever I see
119
00:04:09,893 --> 00:04:11,934
a red-haired woman
and a pasty white man.
120
00:04:12,017 --> 00:04:13,392
- Ooh, don't watch
"Scooby-Doo."
121
00:04:13,476 --> 00:04:15,100
You gonna melt.
- [laughing]
122
00:04:15,184 --> 00:04:17,267
Okay, Robin, this seems like
the kind of question
123
00:04:17,351 --> 00:04:19,225
you'd only ask because
you wanted to answer it.
124
00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:20,601
- Yes, okay.
125
00:04:20,684 --> 00:04:23,267
Do you guys remember the
episode of "106 & Park" where--
126
00:04:23,351 --> 00:04:24,726
both: Ginuwine was on
the gurney!
127
00:04:24,809 --> 00:04:26,059
- Yes!
- Yas!
128
00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:27,934
- Yo, he changed my life when
he body rolled off that thing.
129
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:29,100
He was like--
- Ooh, wait, wait, wait.
130
00:04:29,184 --> 00:04:30,559
[imitates paddles]
- [grunting]
131
00:04:30,643 --> 00:04:31,768
- Clear!
- Yes.
132
00:04:31,851 --> 00:04:33,059
[all laughing]
133
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,267
Come on!
134
00:04:34,351 --> 00:04:35,768
- Back in the day
when it came to Ginuwine,
135
00:04:35,851 --> 00:04:38,559
I would have ridden his pony,
his caribou.
136
00:04:38,643 --> 00:04:40,934
- His meerkat.
- Ooh, his ocelot.
137
00:04:41,017 --> 00:04:43,768
- I lost my virginity
to Ginuwine.
138
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:44,809
- Why?
- Where?
139
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,059
- When?
- How?
140
00:04:46,142 --> 00:04:47,768
And by how I mean,
"How was it?"
141
00:04:47,851 --> 00:04:50,643
- No, I did not fuck Ginuwine.
My God, no.
142
00:04:50,726 --> 00:04:51,934
I was listening
to "Differences"
143
00:04:52,017 --> 00:04:54,142
when I lost my virginity.
- Aww, that's sweet.
144
00:04:54,225 --> 00:04:56,601
- Oh, no, that's just
the only Ginuwine song
145
00:04:56,684 --> 00:04:58,142
my parents let me listen to.
146
00:04:58,225 --> 00:05:00,601
They said the rest of his music
was for fast girls.
147
00:05:00,684 --> 00:05:01,934
Joke's on them.
148
00:05:02,017 --> 00:05:03,225
[all laughing]
149
00:05:04,517 --> 00:05:05,893
[upbeat organ music]
150
00:05:05,975 --> 00:05:10,100
- Praise God for this
bi-weekly pot luck.
151
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:11,517
all: Amen.
152
00:05:11,601 --> 00:05:14,142
Now it is time
to bless the food.
153
00:05:14,225 --> 00:05:17,809
Who would like to--
praise God for Jesus.
154
00:05:17,893 --> 00:05:18,975
Uh, let me just clarify.
155
00:05:19,059 --> 00:05:21,643
We just looking for someone
to pray over the food.
156
00:05:21,726 --> 00:05:24,142
Y'all know good and well
some of y'all see a podium,
157
00:05:24,225 --> 00:05:25,809
your mouths need Imodium.
158
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,309
Yeah, all right, then.
Make it quick.
159
00:05:27,392 --> 00:05:29,476
- All right.
Understood, Pastor.
160
00:05:29,559 --> 00:05:31,975
All right,
everybody please bow your heads
161
00:05:32,059 --> 00:05:35,643
and close your eyes.
Thank you.
162
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,851
Heavenly Father--
- Mm.
163
00:05:37,934 --> 00:05:42,100
- Please bless this food
and the hands that made it.
164
00:05:42,184 --> 00:05:45,309
- Amen.
- Primarily mine.
165
00:05:45,392 --> 00:05:47,893
Please bless Deaconess Jones,
166
00:05:47,975 --> 00:05:53,643
even though she showed up
with sweet potato pie.
167
00:05:53,726 --> 00:05:55,517
[music stops abruptly]
Everyone knows
168
00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:57,893
I make
the sweet potato pie,
169
00:05:57,975 --> 00:06:00,392
Father God.
170
00:06:00,476 --> 00:06:04,309
Why, Father God,
are her pies wet, Lord?
171
00:06:04,392 --> 00:06:07,559
How do you get water
under the crust?
172
00:06:07,643 --> 00:06:08,726
Look--
173
00:06:08,809 --> 00:06:11,184
- It's holy water in my pies.
174
00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:15,184
Right, baby?
- Hallelujah.
175
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:17,517
Want some?
- Why are y'all so hard-headed?
176
00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,517
You know good and well
God blessed those
177
00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:20,851
who blessed themselves.
You know what?
178
00:06:20,934 --> 00:06:24,684
- Lord, it's me,
your child, Butterfly, amen,
179
00:06:24,768 --> 00:06:28,059
and I would just like
to pray for this food.
180
00:06:28,142 --> 00:06:33,309
♪ I'm praying ♪
181
00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:35,434
Because, Father,
my new single,
182
00:06:35,517 --> 00:06:37,726
"The Club Is Bumping
Up And Down,"
183
00:06:37,809 --> 00:06:39,100
comes out this week,
184
00:06:39,184 --> 00:06:42,017
so I pray these saints
check out my Soundcloud
185
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:46,309
at ButterflyClips because I do
hair and do short form content.
186
00:06:46,392 --> 00:06:49,934
Because--♪ The club is bumping
up and down ♪
187
00:06:50,017 --> 00:06:52,100
♪ My body's so sick,
bumping up and down ♪
188
00:06:52,184 --> 00:06:53,267
♪ All over your-- ♪
189
00:06:53,351 --> 00:06:56,225
- Hey, hey!
That is inappropriate.
190
00:06:56,309 --> 00:06:58,142
You get it, Butterfly,
but that is inappropriate.
191
00:06:58,225 --> 00:07:00,100
Sorry, Pastor.
How y'all doing tonight?
192
00:07:00,184 --> 00:07:01,392
Everybody looks good.
193
00:07:01,476 --> 00:07:03,726
Y'all look good tonight.
Oh, what else?
194
00:07:03,809 --> 00:07:04,893
What else?
[speakers screeching]
195
00:07:04,975 --> 00:07:06,100
- Sister Keisha,
196
00:07:06,184 --> 00:07:08,017
I rebuke your stand-up comedy,
Sister Keisha.
197
00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:09,351
No.
- Pastor.
198
00:07:09,434 --> 00:07:12,851
Pastor, I just wanna pray.
We are all hungry, amen?
199
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,059
No jokes, I promise.
200
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,267
Oh, okay.
201
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:16,434
Let go of my hand
at least, Pastor.
202
00:07:16,517 --> 00:07:17,392
- Okay, all right.
- Good God.
203
00:07:17,476 --> 00:07:18,934
- All right.
204
00:07:19,017 --> 00:07:20,059
- Always come prepared.
205
00:07:20,142 --> 00:07:22,434
Father God,
thank you,
206
00:07:22,517 --> 00:07:24,934
thank you for blessing us
with this food
207
00:07:25,017 --> 00:07:27,768
that was so lovingly made, God,
because I love
208
00:07:27,851 --> 00:07:30,100
[as Borat]
my wife!
209
00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:33,017
Hey-hey, that's
a Borat impression! Yeah.
210
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,309
Oh, you know it?
That's good.
211
00:07:34,392 --> 00:07:36,601
Okay, cool,
'cause I do impressions now.
212
00:07:36,684 --> 00:07:38,434
So I'm just--
here's Meghan Markle.
213
00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:40,517
[British accent]
Hello, I'm Meghan Markle.
214
00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:42,768
[laughs, normal voice]
'Cause she British now.
215
00:07:42,851 --> 00:07:43,975
Hey, who else has
an impression?
216
00:07:44,059 --> 00:07:46,017
Just yell one out.
- Diana Ross.
217
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,726
- Barack Obama.
I got you.
218
00:07:47,809 --> 00:07:50,309
[as Obama]
Uh, Michelle, uh, Malia.
219
00:07:50,392 --> 00:07:52,225
Uh...
- You ain't slick.
220
00:07:52,309 --> 00:07:53,476
- Did you ever notice
how Deacon Jones
221
00:07:53,559 --> 00:07:54,934
look like Garrett Morgan?
- You ain't slick!
222
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,601
You talking about you don't
do stand-up comedy,
223
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:58,142
you come on up in here
doing impression.
224
00:07:58,225 --> 00:07:59,809
Everybody turn
to your neighbor and say,
225
00:07:59,893 --> 00:08:01,142
"Keep your day job."
226
00:08:01,225 --> 00:08:02,517
all: Keep your day job.
227
00:08:02,601 --> 00:08:04,309
- I've been Keisha.
Good night.
228
00:08:04,392 --> 00:08:06,017
- You know what?
This ain't even Sunday.
229
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,476
I don't need this.
Shoot.
230
00:08:07,559 --> 00:08:09,184
Y'all go ahead.
Go on, eat your food.
231
00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:10,684
- [clears throat]
232
00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:13,225
[upbeat organ music]
233
00:08:13,309 --> 00:08:14,643
- Uh-uh.
- Excuse me, please.
234
00:08:14,726 --> 00:08:15,643
- Uh-uh, uh-uh.
- Come on, now.
235
00:08:15,726 --> 00:08:16,768
Come on, now.
236
00:08:16,851 --> 00:08:17,851
Pastor, if you could just
find it in--
237
00:08:17,934 --> 00:08:19,809
if you could just find it
in your heart.
238
00:08:19,893 --> 00:08:21,267
Praise God, praise--
[clattering]
239
00:08:21,351 --> 00:08:22,601
[speakers screeching]
240
00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:25,643
- Keisha, your microphone.
- Lord, just listen.
241
00:08:25,726 --> 00:08:28,809
We stand here before you
in need of...
242
00:08:28,893 --> 00:08:30,809
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, uh--
243
00:08:30,893 --> 00:08:32,851
- Fellowship.
- Yes.
244
00:08:32,934 --> 00:08:34,351
Fellowship.
245
00:08:34,434 --> 00:08:36,768
- So if you are a woman--
[clears throat]
246
00:08:36,851 --> 00:08:39,351
Who likes to speak in tongues
247
00:08:39,434 --> 00:08:42,351
with fellow church members
[chuckling]
248
00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:43,684
and they husbands--
249
00:08:43,768 --> 00:08:46,351
- Please send us
a--a heavenly woman that--
250
00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:47,684
- Yes, yes.
251
00:08:47,768 --> 00:08:51,643
- That doesn't have to be
the first or the second.
252
00:08:51,726 --> 00:08:54,975
A curvy third, Father.
253
00:08:55,059 --> 00:08:57,225
[both laughing]
254
00:08:57,309 --> 00:08:58,851
- Praise the Lord.
- Oh, you know.
255
00:08:58,934 --> 00:09:02,476
- Why has my flock forsaken me?
256
00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:04,893
I don't wanna hear about
your bedroom business.
257
00:09:04,975 --> 00:09:07,726
I don't wanna hear about their
non-singing business.
258
00:09:07,809 --> 00:09:10,017
I don't wanna hear about
their comedy business.
259
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,851
I just wanna hear
your business, God.
260
00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:13,851
- Yes, sir.
[chuckles]
261
00:09:13,934 --> 00:09:15,184
- Hey.
- Hey, Pastor.
262
00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:16,517
Hey, man.
Yes, sir.
263
00:09:16,601 --> 00:09:18,059
Excuse me.
[clears throat]
264
00:09:18,142 --> 00:09:20,559
Lord, it is I,
your humble servant,
265
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,517
Pastor Venmo Stacks.
266
00:09:22,601 --> 00:09:26,726
Lord, please bless these people
and their modest church potluck
267
00:09:26,809 --> 00:09:28,934
for if they knew better,
they'd do better,
268
00:09:29,017 --> 00:09:30,434
like we do down at
269
00:09:30,517 --> 00:09:32,434
Nothing But Increase
Mega Ministries,
270
00:09:32,517 --> 00:09:33,559
right down the street.
271
00:09:33,643 --> 00:09:34,809
You see, saints,
272
00:09:34,893 --> 00:09:36,726
you can't make
a spiritual withdrawal
273
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,225
without a heavenly deposit.
274
00:09:39,309 --> 00:09:41,059
- Amen, amen.
275
00:09:41,142 --> 00:09:42,559
- Into our app.
Amen?
276
00:09:42,643 --> 00:09:43,726
Amen.
277
00:09:43,809 --> 00:09:46,559
Where you can reserve
VIP seatin'
278
00:09:46,643 --> 00:09:49,809
and you can book you
a private praise day.
279
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:50,893
Yes, Lord.
280
00:09:50,975 --> 00:09:52,851
And ladies free
before 10:00 a.m.
281
00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:54,434
- Oh! Okay.
- Oh, amen.
282
00:09:54,517 --> 00:09:57,684
- Now, look here, Stacks!
You leave my flock alone.
283
00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,559
You're coming up
in here dressed like
284
00:09:59,643 --> 00:10:01,059
a bootleg Steve Harvey.
285
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,559
Go on and get up out of here!
286
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,601
My members ain't trying
to finance
287
00:10:04,684 --> 00:10:07,434
your second private jet.
- Amen.
288
00:10:07,517 --> 00:10:09,225
Nothing But Increase!
289
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:12,392
- Not the short ribs.
- Right down the street!
290
00:10:12,476 --> 00:10:14,517
- Oh, so he gets to eat?
291
00:10:14,601 --> 00:10:16,267
- Well, y'all could eat
if you'd have blessed
292
00:10:16,351 --> 00:10:17,267
the damn food!
293
00:10:17,351 --> 00:10:18,726
[all shouting]
294
00:10:18,809 --> 00:10:21,142
- Damn?
Cursing like that!
295
00:10:21,225 --> 00:10:23,476
- Oh, that--
- That--you know what?
296
00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,267
This is not what
I signed up for at all.
297
00:10:25,351 --> 00:10:27,100
- He took the short ribs.
298
00:10:27,184 --> 00:10:28,476
- Sailor talk.
- Whoo.
299
00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:30,100
- Two drink minimum
on your mouth.
300
00:10:30,184 --> 00:10:32,434
- Keisha, you want the mic now?
- No, I don't want it at all.
301
00:10:32,517 --> 00:10:33,809
- Where y'all going?
302
00:10:33,893 --> 00:10:35,975
- We taking our pie elsewhere.
- Go away, Mac Nasty.
303
00:10:36,059 --> 00:10:37,893
- What--
- Come on, baby.
304
00:10:37,975 --> 00:10:40,267
- Well, he pushed my button,
though.
305
00:10:40,351 --> 00:10:42,225
Well, fine.
I'll eat by myself.
306
00:10:44,768 --> 00:10:48,559
[all breathing deeply]
307
00:10:48,643 --> 00:10:51,643
[electronic music]
308
00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:54,309
- [yawning]
- Oh, contagious.
309
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,517
- Don't do that.
Uh-uh.
310
00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:58,559
Come on, don't do that.
311
00:10:58,643 --> 00:11:00,809
Man, y'all know yawning
turns me on.
312
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,517
- I hate when I accidentally
turn people on.
313
00:11:02,601 --> 00:11:04,059
I was just wearing
a Bluetooth once,
314
00:11:04,142 --> 00:11:05,975
and this man tripped over
the curb trying to stare at me.
315
00:11:06,059 --> 00:11:08,100
- What else did you have on?
- Booty shorts.
316
00:11:08,184 --> 00:11:09,601
- Okay.
317
00:11:09,684 --> 00:11:12,726
Anyway, I'm unconcerned because
none of y'all do it for me.
318
00:11:12,809 --> 00:11:14,975
I have a very specific turn-on,
319
00:11:15,059 --> 00:11:17,267
but I feel like
if I tell you guys,
320
00:11:17,351 --> 00:11:18,975
you'll use it against me.
- Pfft.
321
00:11:19,059 --> 00:11:20,476
- You know who's got
some weird turn-ons?
322
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:21,975
Quinta.
- Quinta.
323
00:11:22,059 --> 00:11:23,643
We thinkin' the same thing.
- I just...
324
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:26,017
really don't want anyone
to know
325
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,392
what my turn-on is,
so, like,
326
00:11:28,476 --> 00:11:29,726
don't ask, you guys.
327
00:11:29,809 --> 00:11:31,017
- We should ask her
what hers are.
328
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:33,184
Quinta.
- Vocal fry.
329
00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:35,184
It's vocal fry.
330
00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:38,309
- Quinta, we wanna know
what your turn-ons are.
331
00:11:38,392 --> 00:11:40,351
- Ooh.
332
00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:41,809
Whoa, whoa.
333
00:11:41,893 --> 00:11:43,893
- What you--okay, Quinta.
- Okay.
334
00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:45,351
- Stop--you have to stop.
- Hey, hey, hey.
335
00:11:45,434 --> 00:11:46,768
- This is enough.
336
00:11:48,768 --> 00:11:51,059
- ♪ Look, I'm a D-Boy,
tell you what the meaning is ♪
337
00:11:51,142 --> 00:11:52,809
[dings]
338
00:11:52,893 --> 00:11:56,476
[song continues
over headphones]
339
00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:58,476
- Sir, are you willing
and able to assist
340
00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:00,017
in the case of an emergency?
341
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:03,975
[camera shutter clicking]
342
00:12:04,059 --> 00:12:05,893
Sir?
- Babe.
343
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,017
- Huh?
- The lady.
344
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,934
- Are you willing and able
to assist in the event
345
00:12:10,017 --> 00:12:11,809
of an emergency?
I just need a verbal yes.
346
00:12:11,893 --> 00:12:13,225
- Oh, yup.
347
00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:15,100
- Sorry, I need a verbal yes.
348
00:12:15,184 --> 00:12:16,851
- Bet.
- Yes.
349
00:12:16,934 --> 00:12:19,392
- Babe, just say "yes."
- No doubt.
350
00:12:19,476 --> 00:12:21,392
- Okay, um, what about you,
ma'am?
351
00:12:21,476 --> 00:12:22,934
Are you willing
and able to assist
352
00:12:23,017 --> 00:12:24,559
in the event of an emergency?
353
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:26,768
- Babe, listen to this.
- [sighs]
354
00:12:26,851 --> 00:12:29,517
[laughs]
Hold on.
355
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:32,142
- Nigga, bop, bop, bop!
- Miss?
356
00:12:32,225 --> 00:12:34,726
- 'Cause we never, never stop!
[both laughing]
357
00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:35,893
It's good, right?
- Yeah, it is.
358
00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:37,100
- It's good.
- Yes.
359
00:12:37,184 --> 00:12:38,434
- It's good.
I wrote that in eighth grade.
360
00:12:38,517 --> 00:12:40,184
- I know. I remember.
I was there.
361
00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:42,225
- Are you willing and able
to assist in the event
362
00:12:42,309 --> 00:12:44,100
of an emergency?
- What emergency?
363
00:12:44,184 --> 00:12:45,726
- A hypothetical one.
364
00:12:45,809 --> 00:12:47,768
- Okay, because we don't
have time for an emergency
365
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,643
because we are on our way
to our honeymoon.
366
00:12:49,726 --> 00:12:50,851
[both giggling]
367
00:12:50,934 --> 00:12:52,768
Yes, yes.
- Oh, well, congratulations.
368
00:12:52,851 --> 00:12:54,643
And we will take off just
as soon as you confirm
369
00:12:54,726 --> 00:12:56,059
that you are willing
and able to assist.
370
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:58,726
- Okay, like,
I'm currently able,
371
00:12:58,809 --> 00:13:01,559
but what if I become unable
over the course of the flight?
372
00:13:01,643 --> 00:13:03,225
Because anything could happen.
You don't know.
373
00:13:03,309 --> 00:13:05,392
- Okay, well, you two
don't have to sit here.
374
00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:07,267
- Ooh, rude.
Wow.
375
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:08,934
The rude jumped out of you,
didn't it?
376
00:13:09,017 --> 00:13:10,100
Okay, let me ask you this.
377
00:13:10,184 --> 00:13:11,934
Do we get to exit first
and do I get to take
378
00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:14,809
my homegirl with me?
- Mm-hmm.
379
00:13:14,893 --> 00:13:17,392
- Sir, are you ready
to provide a verbal yes?
380
00:13:17,476 --> 00:13:18,601
- I mean, I feel like
I said that.
381
00:13:18,684 --> 00:13:19,934
- Yeah.
- You know it.
382
00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:22,309
- Okay, so what do you say?
- Yerp.
383
00:13:22,392 --> 00:13:23,893
- Yes.
- Yant.
384
00:13:23,975 --> 00:13:25,309
- Yes.
- Yeah, man.
385
00:13:25,392 --> 00:13:26,476
- Yes.
386
00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:28,017
- Yodel.
- Yes.
387
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,601
- [indistinct noise]
388
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:34,476
Yaaa-mmm...
389
00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:36,309
That was just a sound.
- Yeah.
390
00:13:36,392 --> 00:13:39,476
- Yes.
- Ye...t.
391
00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:41,100
- Does this even work?
392
00:13:41,184 --> 00:13:42,476
- Oh, ma'am, could you please
not do that?
393
00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:43,809
- 'Cause you over here
talking about--
394
00:13:43,893 --> 00:13:45,517
- Ma'am, can you not do that?
395
00:13:45,601 --> 00:13:48,392
- Uh, excuse me.
396
00:13:48,476 --> 00:13:49,851
Let me ask you one more thing.
397
00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:51,476
How much does this job pay?
398
00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:53,809
- Well, it's not a job.
It's volunteer.
399
00:13:53,893 --> 00:13:55,934
- Do I get free pretzels?
- That's a good question, babe.
400
00:13:56,017 --> 00:13:57,309
- Do I get a blanket?
- Right.
401
00:13:57,392 --> 00:13:58,934
- 'Cause y'all don't wanna
give out blankets no more
402
00:13:59,017 --> 00:14:00,684
and it's crazy.
- What about pretzel blankets?
403
00:14:00,768 --> 00:14:02,184
You know, we got married.
404
00:14:02,267 --> 00:14:04,142
The statistics of black men
getting married aren't good.
405
00:14:04,225 --> 00:14:06,142
- It's real low so you really
need to just treat him
406
00:14:06,225 --> 00:14:08,017
with some respect
because we have been
407
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:10,351
very above the eyes.
- Thank you, babe. Thank you.
408
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:11,643
That's right.
409
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,851
- I will relocate both of you
to middle seats in the back
410
00:14:13,934 --> 00:14:15,559
of the plane
unless I get a verbal yes.
411
00:14:15,643 --> 00:14:17,351
- Oh!
- Yeah, yeah-ee!
412
00:14:17,434 --> 00:14:18,517
Got it.
413
00:14:18,601 --> 00:14:19,975
- And you ain't
gonna move nobody.
414
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:23,851
- Sorry, excuse me.
- Ooh, yes.
415
00:14:23,934 --> 00:14:24,851
- You know what?
I'll take it.
416
00:14:24,934 --> 00:14:26,184
Yep, sir, get on up.
417
00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:27,517
I'm moving you to the seats
in the back.
418
00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:29,726
- Like, I was just playing.
It's fine.
419
00:14:29,809 --> 00:14:31,851
Go to the back.
I'll see you when we get there.
420
00:14:31,934 --> 00:14:33,351
I'll see you when we get there.
- All right.
421
00:14:33,434 --> 00:14:34,643
- All right.
- I love you.
422
00:14:34,726 --> 00:14:36,643
- Stop playing.
We're on a plane.
423
00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:38,351
Stop.
We're on a plane.
424
00:14:38,434 --> 00:14:39,601
Stop.
425
00:14:39,684 --> 00:14:40,934
[giggling]
426
00:14:41,017 --> 00:14:42,893
- Sir, hi--
sir, hi.
427
00:14:42,975 --> 00:14:45,017
Would you like
an exit row seat?
428
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:46,184
Lots of leg room.
429
00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:47,184
- Yeah, sure.
430
00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:48,351
- Mmm, come on up.
431
00:14:48,434 --> 00:14:50,684
- That's my boo, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
432
00:14:50,768 --> 00:14:53,517
- Do you agree to assist
in the event of an emergency?
433
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,059
- Uh, yes.
434
00:14:55,142 --> 00:14:58,100
I do.
- [chuckles]
435
00:14:58,184 --> 00:15:00,726
- Look at God.
You be known, Jesus.
436
00:15:00,809 --> 00:15:01,726
Okay.
437
00:15:01,809 --> 00:15:03,100
- How you doing?
- Good.
438
00:15:03,184 --> 00:15:05,684
- Oh, now you--now you done
asking questions, Lachel?
439
00:15:05,768 --> 00:15:08,351
Now that there's a fake
Tyson Beckford-looking
440
00:15:08,434 --> 00:15:11,100
Chadwick Blowsman nigga
up there with you?
441
00:15:11,184 --> 00:15:12,726
- Yeah.
- Huh?
442
00:15:12,809 --> 00:15:14,559
- Baby, please, could you stop?
- Speak up!
443
00:15:14,643 --> 00:15:16,559
- Because this is
a very nice airline.
444
00:15:16,643 --> 00:15:17,601
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
445
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:18,893
- And I don't wanna
get kicked off
446
00:15:18,975 --> 00:15:20,434
so if you could stop yelling,
that'd be nice.
447
00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:23,059
- Let me ask you this.
Let me ask you this.
448
00:15:23,142 --> 00:15:25,893
Let me ask you this.
This nigga wear cammo like me?
449
00:15:25,975 --> 00:15:27,893
This nigga got a beard like me?
Oh, he does?
450
00:15:27,975 --> 00:15:30,184
All right, I'm gonna sit down.
451
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:32,893
I got another question.
Listen.
452
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:36,059
If two trains leave Pittsburg
at 6:00,
453
00:15:36,142 --> 00:15:37,392
right?
- Yeah.
454
00:15:37,476 --> 00:15:39,768
- One's carrying apples
and one's carrying oranges,
455
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,476
when this nigga gonna
get out my seat?
456
00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:42,975
[hip-hop music]
457
00:15:43,851 --> 00:15:45,975
[school bell rings]
458
00:15:46,059 --> 00:15:48,100
both: I am smart,
I am tough.
459
00:15:48,184 --> 00:15:50,059
I will always be enough.
460
00:15:50,142 --> 00:15:52,726
[clapping]
461
00:15:52,809 --> 00:15:54,559
- Oh!
[laughing]
462
00:15:54,643 --> 00:15:58,434
I am smart, I am tough,
I will always be enough.
463
00:15:58,517 --> 00:16:00,601
Oh!
Hah!
464
00:16:00,684 --> 00:16:02,267
[mimics drum roll]
465
00:16:02,351 --> 00:16:03,434
All right, here we go.
466
00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:07,267
I am smart, I--
Michaela, what's wrong?
467
00:16:07,351 --> 00:16:08,476
- Nothing, Ms. Miller.
468
00:16:08,559 --> 00:16:10,643
- But this is your
favorite time of the day.
469
00:16:10,726 --> 00:16:13,267
[singsongy] Handshake time.
470
00:16:13,351 --> 00:16:15,059
Huh.
471
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:17,225
Okay, girls.
472
00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:20,309
What's going on?
473
00:16:20,392 --> 00:16:22,476
- Handshake time
is not our favorite time.
474
00:16:22,559 --> 00:16:24,517
- We don't like doing
the handshakes.
475
00:16:24,601 --> 00:16:26,476
- Well, we don't have
to do the handshakes
476
00:16:26,559 --> 00:16:27,975
if you don't like them.
477
00:16:28,059 --> 00:16:29,476
Why didn't somebody
just tell me?
478
00:16:29,559 --> 00:16:32,351
- Because you like
them so much.
479
00:16:32,434 --> 00:16:33,809
You're so sad.
480
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,809
[poignant music]
481
00:16:35,893 --> 00:16:38,768
- Um, mmm, where--where
did you get that idea?
482
00:16:38,851 --> 00:16:39,851
- From you being sad.
483
00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:41,476
- When you returned
our quizzes,
484
00:16:41,559 --> 00:16:42,893
they were all wrinkly.
485
00:16:42,975 --> 00:16:44,351
- You cried on them.
486
00:16:44,434 --> 00:16:47,017
- Well, it, uh,
rained last week, you know?
487
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,309
Maybe they just got
a little wet.
488
00:16:48,392 --> 00:16:50,476
- It didn't rain.
I remember last week.
489
00:16:50,559 --> 00:16:52,184
Just because I'm ten
doesn't mean
490
00:16:52,267 --> 00:16:53,392
I don't remember last week.
491
00:16:53,476 --> 00:16:54,643
- Well, it rained
in my neighborhood.
492
00:16:54,726 --> 00:16:56,643
[laughing]
So, come on, guys.
493
00:16:56,726 --> 00:16:59,351
Let's do some math.
- What page, Ms. Miller-Hicks?
494
00:16:59,434 --> 00:17:00,893
Oops.
495
00:17:00,975 --> 00:17:03,351
You used to write
Ms. Miller-Hicks on the board.
496
00:17:03,434 --> 00:17:06,684
But then one day you
just wrote Ms. Miller.
497
00:17:06,768 --> 00:17:08,517
- Sometimes grown-ups,
498
00:17:08,601 --> 00:17:11,684
they grow in different
directions and--
499
00:17:11,768 --> 00:17:13,184
- What's that burn
on your forehead?
500
00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:14,476
- What's with all
the questions, Daisy?
501
00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:15,476
- You're doing your own hair.
502
00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:17,726
You can't afford
the salon anymore.
503
00:17:17,809 --> 00:17:19,559
- Okay, that is enough.
504
00:17:19,643 --> 00:17:21,184
Everybody, your heads down.
505
00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:23,684
Heads down.
506
00:17:23,768 --> 00:17:26,351
- Ms. Miller?
- What, Michaela?
507
00:17:26,434 --> 00:17:29,017
- You're not shiny anymore.
508
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,851
- What--what do you mean?
509
00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:35,184
- You don't put the gold stuff
on top of your cheeks anymore.
510
00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:37,017
We liked it.
511
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,934
- Aww.
512
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,517
I'm sorry.
513
00:17:42,601 --> 00:17:45,017
I don't wear
highlighter anymore.
514
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,225
What is in my life
to highlight?
515
00:17:47,309 --> 00:17:48,559
[crying]
516
00:17:48,643 --> 00:17:50,059
Oh, my gosh, yeah,
Mr. Hicks,
517
00:17:50,142 --> 00:17:52,225
he cheated on me with
an Applebee's waitress.
518
00:17:52,309 --> 00:17:54,684
Yeah, and after weeks of coming
home smelling like riblets
519
00:17:54,768 --> 00:17:58,434
in the Apple-bitch,
he left me.
520
00:17:58,517 --> 00:17:59,684
[laughs]
521
00:17:59,768 --> 00:18:02,225
And now I can't eat
"good in the neighborhood."
522
00:18:02,309 --> 00:18:05,893
But I really appreciate
that you guys care.
523
00:18:05,975 --> 00:18:08,267
I really do.
524
00:18:08,351 --> 00:18:11,934
And I'm sorry I haven't been
a better teacher.
525
00:18:12,017 --> 00:18:14,768
But you're right.
I'm--
526
00:18:14,851 --> 00:18:17,392
I'm s--
I'm really, really sad.
527
00:18:17,476 --> 00:18:22,267
♪ ♪
528
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:25,267
- I am smart.
529
00:18:25,351 --> 00:18:27,768
I am tough.
530
00:18:27,851 --> 00:18:30,100
I will...
531
00:18:30,184 --> 00:18:35,934
both: Always be enough.
532
00:18:36,017 --> 00:18:40,643
- ♪ I'm so tired of crying
these endless tears ♪
533
00:18:40,726 --> 00:18:43,517
♪ I feel so low ♪
534
00:18:43,601 --> 00:18:45,768
- [crying]
535
00:18:45,851 --> 00:18:47,476
- ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
536
00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:50,601
- California Lottery.
When you really need a win.
537
00:18:50,684 --> 00:18:54,517
- ♪ I'm better off on my own,
don't you know ♪
538
00:18:55,476 --> 00:18:56,934
- What?
539
00:18:57,017 --> 00:18:59,225
- Quinta, you have
a serious problem.
540
00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:00,975
An Iyanla "Fix My Life"
season three
541
00:19:01,059 --> 00:19:03,434
before she shaved the side
of her head kind of problem.
542
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:04,601
- You are out of control.
543
00:19:04,684 --> 00:19:06,476
Your selfishness
is affecting all of us.
544
00:19:06,559 --> 00:19:08,934
- You've hurt the people
in this house with your actions
545
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,934
and you've broken our trust.
546
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,684
- Look, we don't mean
to be harsh.
547
00:19:12,768 --> 00:19:14,975
- I do.
- But we're just worried.
548
00:19:15,059 --> 00:19:17,142
- I'm so sorry.
549
00:19:17,225 --> 00:19:20,601
I didn't realize me doing drugs
was stressing y'all like this.
550
00:19:20,684 --> 00:19:21,809
- Oh, we don't give
a shit about the drugs.
551
00:19:21,893 --> 00:19:22,975
- No.
552
00:19:23,059 --> 00:19:24,643
- We want you to stop eating
the goddamn snacks.
553
00:19:24,726 --> 00:19:26,142
- Right.
- [scoffs]
554
00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,684
No.
555
00:19:27,768 --> 00:19:29,975
[clicks tongue, sighs]
Well, I didn't eat everything.
556
00:19:30,059 --> 00:19:33,809
I still left that weird
ice cream in the freezer.
557
00:19:33,893 --> 00:19:36,768
- Oh, that's not ice cream.
That's my emergency sperm.
558
00:19:36,851 --> 00:19:39,100
- Oh, great.
Now there's no ice cream.
559
00:19:41,893 --> 00:19:43,975
[school bell rings]
560
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,643
- [nasally voice]
What's good, Insta-fam?
561
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:48,517
I'm here in my hometown,
Kemp, Alabama.
562
00:19:48,601 --> 00:19:50,351
Today, my high school's
honoring
563
00:19:50,434 --> 00:19:51,934
my 10th grade
English teacher
564
00:19:52,017 --> 00:19:54,351
Mrs. Garrett,
so I flew first class
565
00:19:54,434 --> 00:19:58,559
on a Buddy Pass
all the way from Miami, Indiana
566
00:19:58,643 --> 00:20:00,184
to surprise her.
567
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,851
She hasn't seen me in 20 years
so this is gonna be
568
00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:05,559
a real treat for her.
Okay, let's go.
569
00:20:05,643 --> 00:20:07,017
[shushes]
570
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:11,517
- And that is why this year
the Black Alumni Association's
571
00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:15,726
Excellence in Teaching award
goes to Mrs. Denise Garrett.
572
00:20:15,809 --> 00:20:17,684
[laughs]
- Yeah!
573
00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:19,309
[applause]
574
00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:21,309
- Thank you!
Yes!
575
00:20:21,392 --> 00:20:24,726
The Jackie Woodson
is in the building!
576
00:20:24,809 --> 00:20:27,934
Ooh, everybody wave
to the Jackie Hive.
577
00:20:30,309 --> 00:20:31,726
Oh, I know.
578
00:20:31,809 --> 00:20:34,559
It's a shock to see me--
a woman who pays
579
00:20:34,643 --> 00:20:38,726
for both Spotify and TIDAL--
here with the rest of you.
580
00:20:38,809 --> 00:20:40,184
[laughs]
581
00:20:40,267 --> 00:20:42,726
But I couldn't pass up a chance
to thank the teacher
582
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,893
who gave me my voice.
583
00:20:45,975 --> 00:20:47,893
[both laughing]
Yes!
584
00:20:47,975 --> 00:20:52,267
- Sorry, uh, who are you,
sweetie?
585
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,517
[cell phone beeps]
586
00:20:53,601 --> 00:20:55,225
- You really don't remember me?
587
00:20:55,309 --> 00:20:57,351
Uh, my first day in your class,
588
00:20:57,434 --> 00:21:00,559
you taught me the word
"insufferable."
589
00:21:00,643 --> 00:21:04,225
You loved my laugh.
[laughing, snorting]
590
00:21:04,309 --> 00:21:06,684
- Stop, baby.
You're embarrassing--
591
00:21:06,768 --> 00:21:09,267
- You?
Why would I embarrass you?
592
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,809
- No, you're embarrassing.
593
00:21:11,893 --> 00:21:14,601
That was the end
of my sentence.
594
00:21:14,684 --> 00:21:17,142
- Oh, Principal Dixon,
you must remember me.
595
00:21:17,225 --> 00:21:21,434
Mm, I'm the one who called in
that bomb threat one time
596
00:21:21,517 --> 00:21:23,434
when my braid fell out
during gym.
597
00:21:23,517 --> 00:21:25,975
- Uh, I'm sorry, Jacket.
598
00:21:26,059 --> 00:21:27,643
You're not ringing
any, uh, bells.
599
00:21:27,726 --> 00:21:29,726
Are you sure you're in
the right town, sugar?
600
00:21:29,809 --> 00:21:32,267
This is Kemp,
as in Shawn.
601
00:21:32,351 --> 00:21:33,476
- Yeah.
602
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,225
Okay, I smelled it coming
down the highway.
603
00:21:35,309 --> 00:21:36,809
I know where the fuck I am.
604
00:21:36,893 --> 00:21:38,434
If this wasn't my hometown,
605
00:21:38,517 --> 00:21:41,100
why would my parents
be sitting right there?
606
00:21:41,184 --> 00:21:43,768
Hi, Mom!
Hi, Dad!
607
00:21:43,851 --> 00:21:45,643
- Is she talking to us?
608
00:21:45,726 --> 00:21:50,309
- [loudly] Yes!
Dennis, Maria, can you hear me?
609
00:21:51,559 --> 00:21:55,142
You all know me!
610
00:21:55,225 --> 00:21:59,225
I am your well-connected
daughter who met the Obamas...
611
00:21:59,601 --> 00:22:03,017
Dog.
Well, actually, just Sunny.
612
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:05,476
Bo was busy that day.
613
00:22:05,559 --> 00:22:09,225
And I'm your former student
who's a proud member
614
00:22:09,309 --> 00:22:11,684
of MENSA applicants!
615
00:22:11,768 --> 00:22:14,975
And your former neighbor
who is the recipient
616
00:22:15,059 --> 00:22:20,142
of an NAACP Image Award
rejection letter!
617
00:22:20,225 --> 00:22:22,643
Ever heard of it?
618
00:22:22,726 --> 00:22:24,684
Stop fucking around
619
00:22:24,768 --> 00:22:27,059
[screaming, echoing]
and admit it!
620
00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:37,559
So I guess you guys just
don't want me here.
621
00:22:37,643 --> 00:22:40,351
You guys are
all my ex-boyfriends.
622
00:22:40,434 --> 00:22:42,975
You'd like me to leave.
623
00:22:45,392 --> 00:22:46,809
But, like, for real,
you guys, like,
624
00:22:46,893 --> 00:22:51,017
if I leave right now,
I am never coming back.
625
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:52,934
But, like, forever.
626
00:22:54,768 --> 00:22:58,059
D--did you guys hear me?
I said I was never coming back.
627
00:22:59,392 --> 00:23:00,476
Seriously?
628
00:23:00,559 --> 00:23:03,100
[sobbing]
629
00:23:03,184 --> 00:23:06,142
[screaming, whining]
630
00:23:13,851 --> 00:23:16,768
[wailing distantly]
631
00:23:16,851 --> 00:23:18,517
[cries]
632
00:23:18,601 --> 00:23:22,309
[crying fades into hallway]
633
00:23:24,975 --> 00:23:27,975
[crying continues]
634
00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,267
[door squeaks]
635
00:23:33,351 --> 00:23:34,601
[door closes]
636
00:23:34,684 --> 00:23:36,434
- We did it!
[laughs]
637
00:23:36,517 --> 00:23:39,267
Thank God!
[laughing]
638
00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:40,559
[cheers and applause]
639
00:23:40,643 --> 00:23:42,267
- Were we too hard on her?
640
00:23:42,351 --> 00:23:44,517
- She's an anti-vaxxer.
641
00:23:44,601 --> 00:23:46,100
- Oh, right.
Fuck that bitch.
642
00:23:46,184 --> 00:23:47,184
- Mm!
643
00:23:49,809 --> 00:23:52,726
[electronic music]
644
00:23:52,809 --> 00:23:59,851
♪ ♪
645
00:24:50,100 --> 00:24:50,975
- Yodel--
- Yes.
646
00:24:51,059 --> 00:24:52,267
- Lay-hee--
- Yes.
647
00:24:52,351 --> 00:24:54,059
- Hoo.
- Yes.
648
00:24:55,225 --> 00:24:56,851
Yara Shahidi.
[laughs]
649
00:24:58,559 --> 00:24:59,476
[clears throat]
650
00:24:59,559 --> 00:25:00,768
I'm gonna start yelling.
651
00:25:00,851 --> 00:25:03,142
[whispering]
Lachel! Lachel!
652
00:25:03,225 --> 00:25:05,809
- I would love for you guys
to support my Soundcloud,
653
00:25:05,893 --> 00:25:08,100
ButterflyFlapsHoodyHoo.
654
00:25:08,184 --> 00:25:10,184
- Where you can reserve...
655
00:25:11,517 --> 00:25:15,142
R-S-P-C-T.
What--what is the line?
656
00:25:15,225 --> 00:25:17,643
Where you can res--should I go
from the top of that?
657
00:25:17,726 --> 00:25:19,851
[laughter]
658
00:25:19,934 --> 00:25:21,893
- Now wait a minute, Reverend.
- I can't sp--
659
00:25:21,975 --> 00:25:23,851
I can't spell VIP.
That's--
660
00:25:23,934 --> 00:25:26,351
- Okay, this--this one
is Cardi B
661
00:25:26,434 --> 00:25:28,059
as a car that won't start.
662
00:25:28,142 --> 00:25:29,684
Okurr-[rolls tongue, stops]
663
00:25:29,768 --> 00:25:31,893
Okurr-[rolls tongue, stops]
Okurr--[rolls tongue]
664
00:25:31,975 --> 00:25:33,351
[rolls tongue, stops]
665
00:25:33,434 --> 00:25:35,309
[laughs]
Just call them out!
666
00:25:35,392 --> 00:25:39,059
Here's Cardi B in Jamaica.
Hey, man, okurr--[rolls tongue]
667
00:25:39,142 --> 00:25:41,184
[laughs]
Hey, hey!
668
00:25:41,267 --> 00:25:44,184
Hey, watch this.
This is--this is, um--
669
00:25:44,267 --> 00:25:47,809
This one is, uh--
This one's, uh--uh--uh--
670
00:25:47,893 --> 00:25:49,351
- You lost your place.
671
00:25:49,434 --> 00:25:51,434
- I've been Keisha.
Thank you.
672
00:25:51,517 --> 00:25:54,517
- So I guess none of you people
with bad skin
673
00:25:54,601 --> 00:25:56,517
wanna fucking hang out with me.
674
00:25:56,601 --> 00:25:58,392
All right, cool.
675
00:25:58,476 --> 00:26:00,851
'Cause I have something
that you don't have.
676
00:26:00,975 --> 00:26:03,809
Likes and followers!
677
00:26:05,142 --> 00:26:06,726
- All right,
I'm gonna sit down.
678
00:26:06,809 --> 00:26:07,975
But I'm gonna sit here.
679
00:26:09,434 --> 00:26:11,434
'Cause I don't want
to be in the back.
680
00:26:25,142 --> 00:26:27,184
[bright tone]
681
00:26:29,142 --> 00:26:30,684
Can we have two sweet teas
with extra ice?
682
00:26:30,768 --> 00:26:32,768
I only got warm sweet tea.
683
00:26:32,851 --> 00:26:34,059
But you have ice, right?
684
00:26:34,142 --> 00:26:35,476
Only for the iced tea.
685
00:26:36,517 --> 00:26:38,392
♪ I want it, I get it
I got it my way ♪
686
00:26:38,476 --> 00:26:43,309
Twenty years and I have never
seen melanin this poppin'!
687
00:26:43,851 --> 00:26:45,267
Cicily Tyson
would be very proud.
688
00:26:45,351 --> 00:26:46,893
-WOMAN: Thank you, Your Honor.
-Why would she be proud of that?
689
00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:49,851
♪ I do it big
That's how I live ♪
690
00:26:50,059 --> 00:26:52,934
♪ I'm talking cars
I'm talking cribs ♪
691
00:26:53,017 --> 00:26:53,975
BOTH: Wow!
692
00:26:54,059 --> 00:26:55,351
These are the moments
I live for.
693
00:26:56,100 --> 00:26:59,893
♪ I do it, I do it
I do it ♪
694
00:26:59,975 --> 00:27:01,309
You've been sitting here
playing games
695
00:27:01,392 --> 00:27:04,601
like this is Girl's Trip 2,
and not the end of the world.
696
00:27:04,684 --> 00:27:07,267
Oh, my God. I just realized
we'll never see Girl's Trip 2.
697
00:27:07,351 --> 00:27:10,142
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
49834
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