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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,234 --> 00:00:07,701 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:01:20,968 --> 00:01:27,334 ( singing in native language ) 3 00:01:33,734 --> 00:01:37,434 Louie, I finished, eh, cleaning up the cab. 4 00:01:37,467 --> 00:01:39,334 Good boy, Latka. 5 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,901 Time to split up the old booty. 6 00:01:41,934 --> 00:01:42,934 Yeah. 7 00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:45,234 How much money did you get today? 8 00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:46,334 Eh, not too much. 9 00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:47,334 ( jingles coins ) 10 00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:51,300 Two pennies, a dime and a Canadian quarter? 11 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,133 Yup, that's right. 12 00:01:54,167 --> 00:01:55,868 You mean to tell me that that's all the money 13 00:01:55,901 --> 00:01:56,901 you got out of these cabs? 14 00:01:56,934 --> 00:01:58,033 That's all. 15 00:01:58,067 --> 00:02:01,701 You know, Latka, if you were anybody else, 16 00:02:01,734 --> 00:02:04,400 I'd think you're trying to pull a fast one on me. 17 00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:08,033 But since it's you, empty your pockets. 18 00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:09,834 Everything out on that table. 19 00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,033 Everything. 20 00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:12,634 Yeah, but all I have is just a fe... 21 00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:13,834 a few personal belongings. 22 00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:14,968 Get 'em out. 23 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,334 All right. 24 00:02:16,367 --> 00:02:18,100 Police state. 25 00:02:19,834 --> 00:02:21,033 Handkerchief... 26 00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:21,968 Yeah, handkerchief. 27 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,467 Eh... 28 00:02:23,501 --> 00:02:24,868 Come on there. 29 00:02:24,901 --> 00:02:26,300 Paintbrush... 30 00:02:26,334 --> 00:02:28,467 A paintbrush. 31 00:02:28,501 --> 00:02:30,901 All right, money, money, money, money. 32 00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:33,100 And one argyle sock. 33 00:02:34,834 --> 00:02:36,000 Come on, come on. 34 00:02:36,033 --> 00:02:37,300 Eh... telephone... 35 00:02:37,334 --> 00:02:39,534 Give me that telephone. 36 00:02:39,567 --> 00:02:42,567 Eh, sam-a, sam-a, sam-a-vich, sam-a-vich. 37 00:02:42,601 --> 00:02:43,667 A sam-a-wich. 38 00:02:43,701 --> 00:02:44,868 No, don't eat the sam-a-mich-- 39 00:02:44,901 --> 00:02:46,033 Get it out. 40 00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:48,167 Okay. 41 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,067 Eh, prayers a-book... 42 00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:52,968 Yeah, come on. 43 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,534 Windshield wiper... 44 00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:55,934 Give me that. 45 00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:58,467 Company property. 46 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,901 Another... Oh, look. Oh. 47 00:03:01,934 --> 00:03:05,067 ( speaking native language ) 48 00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,534 Come on. 49 00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:07,667 All right. 50 00:03:07,701 --> 00:03:09,167 Cat food. 51 00:03:10,334 --> 00:03:12,834 Cat cookies?! 52 00:03:12,868 --> 00:03:15,434 What do you need cat cookies for? 53 00:03:15,467 --> 00:03:16,868 Eh... 54 00:03:21,567 --> 00:03:24,267 Get that mangy thing out of here. 55 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:27,334 See, this is the Louie I was telling you about. 56 00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:31,133 Oh... oh. 57 00:03:32,767 --> 00:03:35,234 So y-you recognize his name. 58 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,167 Hey, Elaine. 59 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:41,234 Hi, guys. 60 00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:42,267 Well, well, well. 61 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:43,267 Where you been? 62 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,501 We ain't seen much of you lately. 63 00:03:44,534 --> 00:03:45,567 Oh, I know. 64 00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:47,200 I've been spending every spare minute I have 65 00:03:47,234 --> 00:03:49,367 down at the gallery, you know, working on the new exhibit. 66 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,334 I feel bad. 67 00:03:51,367 --> 00:03:53,501 I-I feel like I've been neglecting you guys. 68 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:54,501 Well, you have. 69 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,367 So, uh, so let's catch up, you know. 70 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:57,400 Okay, hey, sit down. 71 00:03:57,434 --> 00:03:58,434 Oh, okay. 72 00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:00,667 So, so what's been happening? 73 00:04:00,701 --> 00:04:03,033 Uh, uh, Tony, how'd that fight with Gomez go? 74 00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:04,501 Oh, he knocked me out in the second round. 75 00:04:04,534 --> 00:04:06,467 Oh. And, uh, hey, Bobby, 76 00:04:06,501 --> 00:04:08,868 weren't you working on some, uh, experimental play? 77 00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:10,133 Yeah, they closed it. 78 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,300 Oh. 79 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,767 What have you been doing, Alex? 80 00:04:12,801 --> 00:04:15,767 Well, I went to a bad play and a short fight. 81 00:04:16,868 --> 00:04:19,100 Well, uh, how about if we, uh, 82 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:20,934 we just play a round, you know, and, uh... 83 00:04:20,968 --> 00:04:22,234 Yeah, let's do that. Come on. 84 00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:23,167 All right, all right. 85 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,033 It'll give me time 86 00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,501 to relax and, uh, eat my lunch, 87 00:04:25,534 --> 00:04:28,033 and balance my checkbook and, uh, go through my mail. 88 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:31,367 Yeah, everyone needs to loaf once in awhile. 89 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:32,367 So, Elaine, you've been spending 90 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,634 a lot of time down at the gallery, huh? 91 00:04:33,667 --> 00:04:34,767 Oh, yeah. 92 00:04:34,801 --> 00:04:36,634 Well, see, uh, I-I'm in charge of this new exhibit, 93 00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:37,934 and it's my first time. 94 00:04:37,968 --> 00:04:39,567 It's taking an enormous amount of work, 95 00:04:39,601 --> 00:04:42,000 but, but if it goes well at the opening on Saturday, 96 00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:43,868 it could really give my career a boost. 97 00:04:43,901 --> 00:04:46,467 From nowhere to almost somewhere. 98 00:04:46,501 --> 00:04:49,434 LOUIE: Ooh... 99 00:04:49,467 --> 00:04:51,834 Ms. Nardo's here. 100 00:04:51,868 --> 00:04:54,501 Would you care to take a stroll over to my cage 101 00:04:54,534 --> 00:04:56,167 and, uh, pick up your messages? 102 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,634 Oh, yeah, okay. 103 00:04:57,667 --> 00:04:59,868 Well, uh, I'll-I'll be right back, okay? 104 00:04:59,901 --> 00:05:00,868 Hey, I'm in. 105 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:01,901 BOBBY: Okay. 106 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,634 Nardo, messages have been coming in in droves for you. 107 00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:09,100 I got 11 of them. 108 00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:10,300 Count 'em, 11. 109 00:05:10,334 --> 00:05:11,601 I'm sorry, Louie. 110 00:05:11,634 --> 00:05:14,100 Well, here's $11. 111 00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:16,501 Money, Nardo? 112 00:05:16,534 --> 00:05:19,300 Let's not sully our relationship. 113 00:05:19,334 --> 00:05:22,534 You make me feel so tawdry. 114 00:05:22,567 --> 00:05:24,701 Okay, uh, so what do you want? 115 00:05:24,734 --> 00:05:28,767 How about coming up to my place tonight, we'll go crazy? 116 00:05:28,801 --> 00:05:31,367 Here's your money, creep. 117 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,501 I'm wearing her down. 118 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,801 BOBBY: Well, finally. 119 00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,267 Well, here we go. 120 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,434 Uh, listen, I just got a couple 121 00:05:39,467 --> 00:05:41,501 of quick calls to make, and I'll be right back, okay? 122 00:05:41,534 --> 00:05:42,501 ( guys grumble ) 123 00:05:42,534 --> 00:05:45,434 No, no, no. I said I'd play, so I'm going to. 124 00:05:45,467 --> 00:05:46,434 ( phone rings ) 125 00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:47,968 Yeah, besides I got to eat my lunch. 126 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,200 Oh, Ms. Nardo, it's for you. 127 00:05:51,234 --> 00:05:53,400 ( yells ): She'll be right there. 128 00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:55,067 Probably the gallery. 129 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,133 You in? 130 00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:57,133 Yeah, yeah, I'm in. 131 00:05:57,167 --> 00:05:58,434 Uh, would somebody get me some coffee? 132 00:05:58,467 --> 00:05:59,767 It's going to be a long day. 133 00:05:59,801 --> 00:06:00,767 All right. 134 00:06:00,801 --> 00:06:01,767 Hello. 135 00:06:01,801 --> 00:06:04,501 Gee, Elaine sure is busy. 136 00:06:04,534 --> 00:06:06,334 Yeah, well, I can relate to that. 137 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,467 You know, I mean, I got a hectic schedule, too. 138 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:10,634 You know, driving a cab, trying to make it as an actor... 139 00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:12,133 Oh, my God! That reminds me. 140 00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:13,534 I have an audition today. 141 00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:15,367 To-Tony, Tony, you got the time? 142 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,901 Oh, it's 8:30. 143 00:06:16,934 --> 00:06:19,033 That means I have to be ready in less than five hours. 144 00:06:19,067 --> 00:06:21,334 It never ends. 145 00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:23,067 You know, my life can be hectic, too. 146 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,067 Do you realize that if this was tomorrow, 147 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,334 I'd have to be in the gym in 15 minutes. 148 00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:32,334 Oh, Tony, Tony, we got to come up for air sometime. 149 00:06:32,367 --> 00:06:34,400 I hear you. 150 00:06:34,434 --> 00:06:35,968 Is that my coffee? 151 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,100 Yeah, wait a minute. 152 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:39,000 How many cups have you already had today? 153 00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:40,033 Three. 154 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,100 Okay. 155 00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:42,701 I lied, I had eight. 156 00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:44,667 I lied, that's hot chocolate. 157 00:06:44,701 --> 00:06:46,634 Elaine, can I talk to you for a minute? 158 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:47,634 Uh, yeah, sure. 159 00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:48,634 Sit down, please. 160 00:06:48,667 --> 00:06:49,734 Uh, what's on your mind? 161 00:06:49,767 --> 00:06:50,868 I'm worried about you. 162 00:06:50,901 --> 00:06:51,901 Aw. 163 00:06:51,934 --> 00:06:53,734 No "aw," I'm really worried about you. 164 00:06:53,767 --> 00:06:55,734 I know, I worry about you too sometimes. 165 00:06:55,767 --> 00:06:57,267 We're not talking about me. I'm wonderful. 166 00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,300 Yeah, you are. 167 00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,367 Please, Elaine, are you okay? 168 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,734 I mean, the way you've been running... 169 00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:02,501 Oh, Alex, I know what you're going to say. 170 00:07:02,534 --> 00:07:04,267 You're worried about me because of the way 171 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:06,033 I've been running around, and I seem to be 172 00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:08,334 going in 20 different directions all at once, and, uh, 173 00:07:08,367 --> 00:07:10,400 you think it's bad for me and kind of dangerous. 174 00:07:10,434 --> 00:07:12,033 And, uh, I think you're blowing things way, 175 00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:13,534 way out of proportion, but okay, okay. 176 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,534 I promise you that as soon as everything 177 00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:17,834 slows down and I have taken care of everything 178 00:07:17,868 --> 00:07:20,000 that's hanging over my head at this moment, 179 00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:22,501 I am going to take a nice, long, three-week bath. 180 00:07:22,534 --> 00:07:24,567 And I know I talk too much and thanks. 181 00:07:24,601 --> 00:07:27,934 ( phone rings ) I didn't mean to lecture. 182 00:07:27,968 --> 00:07:29,834 Surprise, surprise. 183 00:07:29,868 --> 00:07:32,167 It's for her nibs. 184 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,067 I'm sorry, guys. 185 00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:36,701 Hello. 186 00:07:36,734 --> 00:07:39,667 We're never going to get this game over with. 187 00:07:39,701 --> 00:07:40,767 Good hand, huh? 188 00:07:40,801 --> 00:07:43,300 What do you mean? 189 00:07:43,334 --> 00:07:45,400 Well, you're a little impatient, huh? 190 00:07:45,434 --> 00:07:47,434 Oh, no, it's just that I don't think 191 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,234 that's the way you should play poker, that's all. 192 00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:52,167 Oh, sure, Tony. 193 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,601 Listen, uh, I-I'll be just a second, okay? 194 00:07:54,634 --> 00:07:56,834 Take your time. 195 00:07:58,467 --> 00:08:01,167 Listen, that gallery is a mad house. I got to go. 196 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,200 ALL: Oh, man. 197 00:08:02,234 --> 00:08:03,367 No, no, listen. 198 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,033 I'm going to finish this hand. 199 00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:07,300 Gin. 200 00:08:07,334 --> 00:08:09,400 Listen, the show opens Saturday, 7:00, 201 00:08:09,434 --> 00:08:11,267 and you are all invited-- bye. 202 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:14,334 Gin? 203 00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:16,734 Boy, did she catch me with points. 204 00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:26,133 Hi, Elaine. 205 00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:27,467 Oh, Fran-- 206 00:08:27,501 --> 00:08:30,801 uh, these are very important buyers. 207 00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:34,400 Hello there. 208 00:08:34,434 --> 00:08:35,601 Oh, I am so glad to see you guys. 209 00:08:35,634 --> 00:08:37,467 Friendly faces, you know? 210 00:08:37,501 --> 00:08:39,133 How come you're so early? 211 00:08:39,167 --> 00:08:40,367 Well, we were going to eat at Mario's first 212 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,801 but Alex said you had food, so you know. 213 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,734 We got here fast, before any 214 00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,400 freeloaders scarfed it up. 215 00:08:48,434 --> 00:08:51,434 Yeah, well, uh, you can have anything you see. 216 00:08:51,467 --> 00:08:53,534 But, uh, hey, guys, remember last time. 217 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,133 I mean, don't go stuffing food in your pockets. 218 00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:57,834 She should have told me that 219 00:08:57,868 --> 00:08:59,934 before I lined them with tin foil. 220 00:08:59,968 --> 00:09:03,133 Elaine, uh, who's she? 221 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,000 Oh, that's, uh Fran Strickland. 222 00:09:05,033 --> 00:09:06,901 She's one of our best artists. 223 00:09:06,934 --> 00:09:10,234 Hey, Elaine, I'll show you an artist. 224 00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:12,868 So how's it going? 225 00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:15,000 Well, the paintings got lost, the food came late 226 00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:16,067 Jason's ant colony broke, 227 00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:17,534 there are ants all over my house, 228 00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:19,634 and the exterminator can't come until tomorrow. 229 00:09:19,667 --> 00:09:20,834 And you? 230 00:09:20,868 --> 00:09:22,400 Well, uh, I'm sort of... 231 00:09:22,434 --> 00:09:23,467 Ashtrays, yes. 232 00:09:23,501 --> 00:09:25,000 Just the word I was looking for. 233 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,467 I, uh... I like these, uh... 234 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,534 Are they yours? 235 00:09:29,567 --> 00:09:30,634 Yes. 236 00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,901 I love these. 237 00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:37,434 Elaine, this is a great exhibit. 238 00:09:37,467 --> 00:09:38,434 Oh, thanks. 239 00:09:38,467 --> 00:09:40,501 Uh, what do you like best? 240 00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:43,701 I don't know. What do you call this? 241 00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:45,300 Elaine! Yeah? 242 00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,234 We have to talk. 243 00:09:47,267 --> 00:09:48,667 Uh, I'll be over there in a second, okay, Phillip? 244 00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:50,334 I-I'm taking my paintings down. 245 00:09:50,367 --> 00:09:51,501 What? 246 00:09:51,534 --> 00:09:53,834 Well, I rushed them, and it shows. 247 00:09:53,868 --> 00:09:55,667 Oh, no, no, um, Phillip. 248 00:09:55,701 --> 00:09:57,734 These, these paintings, they're wonderful. 249 00:09:57,767 --> 00:09:59,000 No, no, they're not ready. 250 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,234 I'm sorry, I can't let them be seen. 251 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,467 No, Phillip! 252 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:02,667 I mean, come on, be reasonable. 253 00:10:02,701 --> 00:10:04,534 Uh, Alex, uh, Phillip wants his paintings down. 254 00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:05,734 Do they look finished to you? 255 00:10:05,767 --> 00:10:06,501 They're great. 256 00:10:06,534 --> 00:10:07,534 Terrific. 257 00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:10,200 I think this one could use more brown. 258 00:10:11,968 --> 00:10:13,367 That does it. 259 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:14,701 No, Phillip. 260 00:10:14,734 --> 00:10:15,868 Tony, how could you do this to me?! 261 00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:16,934 Elaine, Elaine, Elaine. 262 00:10:16,968 --> 00:10:18,067 Everything's okay. It's okay. 263 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,234 Phillip! Oh, no. 264 00:10:19,267 --> 00:10:20,567 Look, maybe it's better this way. 265 00:10:20,601 --> 00:10:21,734 Who says an art gallery 266 00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:23,400 has to have paintings all over the walls? 267 00:10:23,434 --> 00:10:26,133 Alex, I think you better take me out of here pretty fast. 268 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,434 Why? MAN: Excuse me, Elaine. 269 00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:28,567 What do you want? 270 00:10:28,601 --> 00:10:30,534 No, no, no. Alex, uh, this is one of the owners. 271 00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:31,667 Oh, sorry. H-how do you do? 272 00:10:31,701 --> 00:10:33,300 Hi. Elaine, it's the champagne. 273 00:10:33,334 --> 00:10:34,667 Uh, what about it? 274 00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,634 Well, it's flat, and several people have noticed. 275 00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:39,534 Well, wha-what do you want me to do about it? 276 00:10:39,567 --> 00:10:41,934 Well, I don't know, but, I mean, people like bubbles 277 00:10:41,968 --> 00:10:43,400 in their champagne. I know I do. 278 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:44,901 Do you see any bubbles? 279 00:10:44,934 --> 00:10:46,067 You want bubbles? 280 00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:47,868 ( blowing bubbles ) 281 00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:55,300 I guess that's what I should expect from a cabdriver. 282 00:10:55,334 --> 00:10:58,534 No, you know what you can expect from a cabdriver? 283 00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:01,367 ( Elaine shouting ) 284 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,834 BOBBY: Low bridge! 285 00:11:11,734 --> 00:11:13,534 Hey! What's the matter with that guy? 286 00:11:13,567 --> 00:11:14,834 Yeah, you idiot. 287 00:11:14,868 --> 00:11:17,601 Would you just relax? 288 00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:19,100 Me relax? You relax. 289 00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,734 We'll both relax, okay? 290 00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:24,767 Elaine, I think you need to see someone. 291 00:11:24,801 --> 00:11:26,200 What do you mean? 292 00:11:26,234 --> 00:11:29,267 I am not going to see a psychiatrist. 293 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:30,534 Why not? Hah, no. 294 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:32,400 You think needing help is a sign of weakness? Yeah. 295 00:11:32,434 --> 00:11:33,567 There's nothing wrong 296 00:11:33,601 --> 00:11:35,234 with needing a little help once in a while. 297 00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:36,634 Stop trying to be so tough. 298 00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,033 Hey, I am a single parent 299 00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:39,968 responsible for two small children. 300 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,300 Man, I got to be tough. 301 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:42,801 Okay. 302 00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:44,334 Okay. 303 00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:47,367 Now, what about your responsibility 304 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,033 to those two small children? 305 00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:50,801 What's gonna happen to them? Hmm? 306 00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:51,868 Now, I'm no psychiatrist, 307 00:11:51,901 --> 00:11:53,300 but I can tell a manic-depressive, 308 00:11:53,334 --> 00:11:54,567 Down syndrome when I see one. 309 00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:55,901 ( chuckles ) 310 00:11:55,934 --> 00:11:57,601 Alex, I can't see a psychiatrist. 311 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,334 Why not? 312 00:11:58,367 --> 00:11:59,834 What about the money? 313 00:11:59,868 --> 00:12:01,100 So you'll go to a clinic 314 00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:02,834 where they charge you according to what you earn. 315 00:12:02,868 --> 00:12:04,501 Now, don't make money the issue. You're scared. 316 00:12:04,534 --> 00:12:05,701 Of what? 317 00:12:05,734 --> 00:12:07,167 You're scared that you're gonna find out 318 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,200 you're just as fragile and needy as all the rest of us. 319 00:12:09,234 --> 00:12:11,701 Alex, I don't need a psychiatrist. 320 00:12:11,734 --> 00:12:14,667 Yeah. Okay, okay, the pressure's been getting to me. 321 00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,868 I-I'd be stupid not to admit that now, 322 00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:19,100 but I don't need to see a psychiatrist. 323 00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:20,400 I don't know. 324 00:12:20,434 --> 00:12:22,901 Maybe I need an arm around me once in awhile. 325 00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:24,400 ( chuckles ) 326 00:12:24,434 --> 00:12:26,367 Oh... ( chuckles ) 327 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,901 Or a pat on the head. 328 00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:38,767 Or a kiss. 329 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:49,501 Alex, don't pull away from me. 330 00:12:49,534 --> 00:12:51,200 I'm not pulling away from you, Elaine. 331 00:12:51,234 --> 00:12:52,767 Now, sometimes people get upset, 332 00:12:52,801 --> 00:12:54,934 and instead of dealing with their problems, 333 00:12:54,968 --> 00:12:57,767 they try to run from them, like with drinking and eating 334 00:12:57,801 --> 00:13:00,234 and, uh, flirting with enormously attractive men. 335 00:13:00,267 --> 00:13:01,834 Alex, I don't think you should kid around 336 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:02,834 about this. What? 337 00:13:02,868 --> 00:13:05,100 I mean, come on, you and I have been pretty close, 338 00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:07,534 and we have cared about each other for some time now. 339 00:13:07,567 --> 00:13:08,868 I mean, you can't tell me 340 00:13:08,901 --> 00:13:11,033 that, uh, getting closer has never crossed your mind. 341 00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:12,300 Well, as a matter of fact, 342 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:14,200 uh, it hasn't kept me awake nights, no. 343 00:13:14,234 --> 00:13:16,868 It's never crossed your mind? 344 00:13:16,901 --> 00:13:18,534 Once. 345 00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:20,033 When? 346 00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:24,267 The day you were that red and white striped dress. 347 00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:27,234 It's crossed my mind once. 348 00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:28,367 When? 349 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,534 Now. 350 00:13:29,567 --> 00:13:30,667 N... Oh. 351 00:13:30,701 --> 00:13:32,868 ( starts engine ) 352 00:13:32,901 --> 00:13:35,534 ( motor abruptly stops ) Oh. 353 00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:38,567 Alex, um, be honest with me. 354 00:13:38,601 --> 00:13:39,901 What are you afraid of? 355 00:13:39,934 --> 00:13:41,234 What am I afraid of? 356 00:13:41,267 --> 00:13:44,567 Elaine, Elaine, uh, look, I-I'm just afraid 357 00:13:44,601 --> 00:13:46,567 that you're doing this, maybe unconsciously, 358 00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:48,834 because you just don't want to deal with the fact 359 00:13:48,868 --> 00:13:51,234 that you might need some help right now, that's all. 360 00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:52,968 Oh, I love it when a man tells me 361 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,834 I'm unconsciously avoiding therapy. 362 00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,100 Elaine, Elaine, Elaine. 363 00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:57,868 Stop giving me a hard time, okay? 364 00:13:57,901 --> 00:13:59,434 I mean, look, uh, uh, 365 00:13:59,467 --> 00:14:02,734 it's not as if part of me doesn't want to... 366 00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:05,200 uh... uh, doesn't want to... 367 00:14:05,234 --> 00:14:07,667 I'm going to wait it out till you finish that. 368 00:14:07,701 --> 00:14:09,534 No, no, no. No, no. I'm just worried about the fact 369 00:14:09,567 --> 00:14:11,200 that we have a great friendship, a-a-and... 370 00:14:11,234 --> 00:14:12,901 Oh, Alex, I'm a very busy woman. 371 00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:14,834 I've got two jobs and two kids. 372 00:14:14,868 --> 00:14:16,133 Yes or no? 373 00:14:16,167 --> 00:14:17,033 No. 374 00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:19,367 Ah... 375 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,834 Elaine, damn it, it-it just wouldn't be right. 376 00:14:21,868 --> 00:14:23,200 I-I wouldn't feel right. 377 00:14:23,234 --> 00:14:24,467 Look, you-you've been... 378 00:14:24,501 --> 00:14:26,133 you've been upset for weeks now. 379 00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:27,534 You've got to see someone. 380 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,868 Okay, okay. 381 00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:31,367 Boy, if you feel that strongly about it I'm going to go. 382 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,634 I mean, I think it's a waste of time, 383 00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:34,367 but I'm gonna go just to prove that you're wrong. 384 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,367 Fine. 385 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,534 Fine. 386 00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:37,868 Take me home. 387 00:14:37,901 --> 00:14:40,234 Fine. 388 00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:42,200 ( starts engine ) 389 00:14:42,234 --> 00:14:44,067 Hey, but if you do go to a psychiatrist 390 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,067 and he gives us the permission to, um... 391 00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,934 I'll take you home now. 392 00:15:05,467 --> 00:15:06,434 Hi. 393 00:15:06,467 --> 00:15:07,434 Hi. 394 00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:09,501 I'm Dr. Bernard Collins. 395 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,000 Elaine Nardo. 396 00:15:11,033 --> 00:15:12,667 Nice to know you. 397 00:15:12,701 --> 00:15:14,334 Nice to meet you. 398 00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:16,000 What do you think? 399 00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:18,200 What, uh...? Oh, I don't know. 400 00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:19,200 Oh, come on. 401 00:15:19,234 --> 00:15:21,968 I know you're an art connoisseur. 402 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,701 What's your opinion? 403 00:15:23,734 --> 00:15:26,534 Well, uh, I hope you don't mind my saying this, 404 00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:28,634 but, uh, it stinks. 405 00:15:28,667 --> 00:15:31,200 You didn't pay too much for it, did you? 406 00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:33,167 Very little. I painted it. 407 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,367 Oh! 408 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,033 I'm sorry, I didn't... 409 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:37,234 Oh, no, you're right. 410 00:15:37,267 --> 00:15:38,701 It's terrible. Oh. 411 00:15:38,734 --> 00:15:43,067 I sometimes use the painting to test my patients' honesty. 412 00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,300 Boy, are you honest. 413 00:15:46,634 --> 00:15:50,868 Uh, uh, don't you sort of like the eyes? 414 00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:53,234 Yeah, I like the eyes. 415 00:15:53,267 --> 00:15:54,534 Honest but kind. 416 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:56,100 Have a seat. 417 00:15:56,133 --> 00:15:57,501 Okay. 418 00:16:01,234 --> 00:16:05,501 Could you move a little closer? 419 00:16:05,534 --> 00:16:07,734 I think it's a toll call over there. 420 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,100 ( laughs ): Gee, uh, I'm sorry. 421 00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:11,634 I just didn't think 422 00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:14,501 I had to get all the way in the room. 423 00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:17,834 This is going to be so easy for you, like an hour off. 424 00:16:17,868 --> 00:16:19,167 Good. 425 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,901 Yeah, um, actually, there's nothing wrong with me. 426 00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:24,834 I'm only here to prove to a certain person that I'm okay. 427 00:16:24,868 --> 00:16:26,534 I see. 428 00:16:26,567 --> 00:16:31,167 So, um, if you don't mind, could you sign this note? 429 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:35,400 "I have examined Elaine Nardo psychologically, 430 00:16:35,434 --> 00:16:38,634 and find her in no need of treatment whatsoever." 431 00:16:39,701 --> 00:16:41,400 Nice note. 432 00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:46,367 I especially like the flower in the corner. 433 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,000 So would you sign it? 434 00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:51,901 Now? 435 00:16:51,934 --> 00:16:55,234 Well, uh, you can ask me a few questions first, 436 00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:57,934 but, uh, it's not absolutely necessary. 437 00:16:57,968 --> 00:17:03,000 Well, I do have an hour to kill. 438 00:17:03,033 --> 00:17:04,501 And if you leave, 439 00:17:04,534 --> 00:17:07,367 I'll have to read this article 440 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:12,033 about what rats did at the University of Wisconsin. 441 00:17:12,067 --> 00:17:13,501 Unbelievable. 442 00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:16,901 Well, uh, sure, if you don't mind wasting your time. 443 00:17:16,934 --> 00:17:18,701 Might be fun. Yeah. 444 00:17:18,734 --> 00:17:21,868 I never did anything like this before. 445 00:17:21,901 --> 00:17:24,400 So... 446 00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:27,868 so, uh, go ahead, throw a few ink blots at me. 447 00:17:27,901 --> 00:17:30,000 You want to hear my dreams? 448 00:17:30,033 --> 00:17:32,067 No? 449 00:17:33,501 --> 00:17:36,767 Uh, do you want me to, uh, uh, scream or-or pound a pillow? 450 00:17:36,801 --> 00:17:39,734 Admit I'm mad at my mother or my kids? 451 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,067 Look, I'm sorry to disappoint you, 452 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:45,501 but all those therapies, they're just not for me. 453 00:17:45,534 --> 00:17:46,734 What is? 454 00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:50,868 Well, it's something kind of radical. 455 00:17:50,901 --> 00:17:52,968 What's it called? 456 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,634 Talking. 457 00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:55,667 ( laughs ) 458 00:17:55,701 --> 00:17:57,667 Look, I know this is new for you. 459 00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,501 J-Just try and relax, huh? 460 00:17:59,534 --> 00:18:01,767 Sit down. Please. 461 00:18:02,767 --> 00:18:04,601 And tell me about yourself. 462 00:18:04,634 --> 00:18:05,767 ( chuckles ) 463 00:18:05,801 --> 00:18:07,300 Well, wha-what do you want to know? 464 00:18:07,334 --> 00:18:09,300 Anything-- I never met you before. 465 00:18:09,334 --> 00:18:10,434 Who are you? 466 00:18:10,467 --> 00:18:13,267 Tell me a typical Elaine Nardo day. 467 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,200 Well, uh, okay. 468 00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:17,534 Well, you see, I got this sort of schedule. 469 00:18:17,567 --> 00:18:18,601 I'm very organized. 470 00:18:18,634 --> 00:18:20,567 A sure sign of mental health, right? 471 00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:21,634 ( chuckles ) 472 00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:22,634 Right. 473 00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:24,968 So, uh, um, okay, this is what I do. 474 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,868 I-I, I get up, and I get the kids ready for school, right, 475 00:18:27,901 --> 00:18:29,467 and then I drop them off at school. 476 00:18:29,501 --> 00:18:30,734 And I run my errands 477 00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,100 or I do laundry, and I prepare supper. 478 00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:35,400 And then I go to the gallery, and I work for four hours. 479 00:18:35,434 --> 00:18:36,601 Then I pick up the kids, 480 00:18:36,634 --> 00:18:38,434 and then we kind of spend some time together. 481 00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,067 You know, I help them with their homework 482 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,234 or I give them a bath or whatever, and I make supper. 483 00:18:42,267 --> 00:18:44,033 And then when the baby-sitter comes, 484 00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:47,067 I go to the garage and take out a cab and drive all night. 485 00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,968 And, uh, and that's all. 486 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,400 Wow. 487 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,767 I know it sounds like a lot, 488 00:18:53,801 --> 00:18:54,968 but, you know, once you get... 489 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,501 How long have you been doing this? 490 00:18:56,534 --> 00:18:58,367 A little over a year. 491 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,667 Wow. 492 00:18:59,701 --> 00:19:02,634 No, I-I-I know it sounds a bit much, 493 00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,834 but, uh, it's not all work. 494 00:19:04,868 --> 00:19:07,334 You see, every day I make sure that I set aside 495 00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:09,901 a certain amount of time just to pamper myself. 496 00:19:09,934 --> 00:19:11,934 I bet all of five minutes. 497 00:19:11,968 --> 00:19:14,601 Oh, sometimes twice that. 498 00:19:14,634 --> 00:19:16,501 Wow. 499 00:19:16,534 --> 00:19:19,634 Look, you don't have to tell me I'm busy. 500 00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:22,033 See, I know I'm busy, but, uh... 501 00:19:22,067 --> 00:19:24,100 but what choice have I got? 502 00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:27,467 See, I can't give up the gallery, because, uh, 503 00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:28,934 I really love it there, 504 00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,100 and, and I'm just starting to grow. 505 00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:33,868 And, uh, I can't give up the garage, either, 506 00:19:33,901 --> 00:19:36,033 'cause I need the money. 507 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:39,501 So, uh, I guess I'll just have to give up the kids. 508 00:19:39,534 --> 00:19:42,000 Wow. 509 00:19:42,033 --> 00:19:45,501 Look, no more "wows," okay? 510 00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:48,701 Look, I don't need anybody's help. 511 00:19:48,734 --> 00:19:51,934 I'm the kind of person that other people come to for help. 512 00:19:51,968 --> 00:19:53,767 So I must be pretty solid, right? 513 00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:57,400 I mean, the kids come to me and, and the guys. 514 00:19:57,434 --> 00:20:01,033 Yeah, it gets to be a bit much, you know, uh... 515 00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,067 I-I mean, you don't know what it's like, 516 00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:05,367 everybody coming to you with their problems. 517 00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:10,400 And, and sometimes I'll admit 518 00:20:10,434 --> 00:20:13,567 that I, I feel like getting in my cab, you know, and... 519 00:20:13,601 --> 00:20:15,901 and just driving and driving and driving 520 00:20:15,934 --> 00:20:18,601 and, and going someplace where nobody knows me 521 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,734 and, and nobody wants anything from me, and... 522 00:20:21,767 --> 00:20:23,868 'Cause I just... I just get so tired 523 00:20:23,901 --> 00:20:26,934 ( voice breaking ): of being a grownup, you know? 524 00:20:26,968 --> 00:20:29,400 And I've been doing it since I was eight years old, 525 00:20:29,434 --> 00:20:31,834 'cause I had like three little brothers, you know, 526 00:20:31,868 --> 00:20:35,734 and they used to come to me all the time. 527 00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:37,934 And, you know, sometimes... 528 00:20:37,968 --> 00:20:41,901 sometimes I think I just can't go on another day. 529 00:20:41,934 --> 00:20:44,767 Oh, God, the nights aren't easy. 530 00:20:44,801 --> 00:20:47,167 ( sobbing ) 531 00:20:49,601 --> 00:20:53,100 Oh, God, you must think I'm in bad shape. 532 00:20:53,133 --> 00:20:55,200 No, not really. 533 00:20:55,234 --> 00:20:57,367 Good, then sign the note. 534 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,968 ( sobs ) 535 00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:19,167 Hey, Elaine. 536 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,200 Hi. 537 00:21:20,234 --> 00:21:21,901 I haven't seen you in a while. 538 00:21:21,934 --> 00:21:23,501 Huh, ever since you've been, uh, 539 00:21:23,534 --> 00:21:24,834 going to the psychiatrist-- 540 00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:26,300 what was it, two weeks, huh? 541 00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:27,734 Yeah. How've you been doing, huh? 542 00:21:27,767 --> 00:21:30,033 Well, uh, i-i-it's, uh, kind of hard to tell. 543 00:21:30,067 --> 00:21:32,067 I've only seen him ten times. 544 00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,467 Oh? 545 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:34,834 But I like him. 546 00:21:34,868 --> 00:21:37,167 As a matter of fact, I'm late for an appointment right now. 547 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,267 Oh. 548 00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,167 But, uh, but I've been missing you, 549 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,901 and, uh, I wanted to talk. 550 00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:42,801 Yeah, sure, sure. 551 00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:44,701 This is kind of hard for me. 552 00:21:44,734 --> 00:21:45,934 Ha! Let me start. 553 00:21:45,968 --> 00:21:47,868 Nice dress. 554 00:21:47,901 --> 00:21:49,868 ( chuckles ): Thanks. 555 00:21:49,901 --> 00:21:52,133 Um, Alex, uh... 556 00:21:52,167 --> 00:21:53,701 Yeah? 557 00:21:53,734 --> 00:21:56,367 Do you remember the conversation we had that night in the cab? 558 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,501 Uh, you mean, when you said, uh, 559 00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:00,501 "Alex, be honest with me. What are you afraid of?" 560 00:22:00,534 --> 00:22:03,100 And I said, "I'm afraid you're just doing this maybe unconsciously 561 00:22:03,133 --> 00:22:04,934 "because you don't want to deal with the fact 562 00:22:04,968 --> 00:22:06,300 that, uh, you need help right now." 563 00:22:06,334 --> 00:22:08,167 And you said, "I love it when a man accuses me 564 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,567 of unconsciously avoiding therapy." 565 00:22:09,601 --> 00:22:11,334 And then I said, "Don't give me a hard time. 566 00:22:11,367 --> 00:22:14,334 It's not like part of me doesn't want to"? 567 00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:15,334 Yeah. 568 00:22:15,367 --> 00:22:17,400 Vaguely. 569 00:22:17,434 --> 00:22:21,267 Well, uh, I just wanted to tell you that you were right, 570 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:24,400 that, that it was my way of, uh, avoiding my problems, 571 00:22:24,434 --> 00:22:27,434 and that, and that this wouldn't be the right time 572 00:22:27,467 --> 00:22:30,667 to get involved in a physical relationship. 573 00:22:30,701 --> 00:22:33,501 And I want to thank you for, for realizing that. 574 00:22:33,534 --> 00:22:35,534 Thanks. 575 00:22:38,734 --> 00:22:39,834 Hey, listen, I'm just glad 576 00:22:39,868 --> 00:22:41,901 that one of us had the sense to stop 577 00:22:41,934 --> 00:22:43,300 before we did something 578 00:22:43,334 --> 00:22:45,734 that we would have both remembered fondly 579 00:22:45,767 --> 00:22:47,367 for the rest of our lives. 580 00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,234 ( laughs ) 581 00:22:51,467 --> 00:22:52,434 Oh, thanks again. 582 00:22:52,467 --> 00:22:53,934 Ciao. Bye. 583 00:23:10,868 --> 00:23:12,868 Hi, Latka. 584 00:23:13,868 --> 00:23:15,834 Oh, Elaine... 585 00:23:15,868 --> 00:23:17,667 Uh, I heard 586 00:23:17,701 --> 00:23:20,501 you are seeing a podiatrist. 587 00:23:20,534 --> 00:23:23,567 You know, I am... I seeing one, too. 588 00:23:23,601 --> 00:23:25,067 Oh, no, no, no, Latka. 589 00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:26,834 I'm seeing a psychiatrist. 590 00:23:26,868 --> 00:23:30,501 A-A podiatrist is a doctor that takes care of your feet. 591 00:23:30,534 --> 00:23:33,834 Oh, so that's... 592 00:23:33,868 --> 00:23:36,133 that's why. 593 00:23:36,167 --> 00:23:37,567 That's... What? 594 00:23:37,601 --> 00:23:41,467 Oh, because I told him I was having bad dreams, 595 00:23:41,501 --> 00:23:44,501 so he told me to wear looser shoes. 596 00:23:44,534 --> 00:23:46,033 Oh. 597 00:23:46,067 --> 00:23:48,267 A-And you know, it worked. 598 00:23:52,567 --> 00:23:54,834 Boy, this is a great country. 599 00:24:00,767 --> 00:24:04,234 ( theme music playing ) 600 00:24:27,801 --> 00:24:29,200 WOMAN: Night, Mr. Walters. 601 00:24:29,234 --> 00:24:30,767 ( grunts ) 41529

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