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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,240 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:05,840 Oh, no! 3 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:06,880 Hello? 4 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:14,520 Eh... 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,920 HORN HONKS 6 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,160 Nng-uh! Argh! 7 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,120 Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house. 8 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,600 RETCHING 9 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,360 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 10 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,520 Hello, I'm Greg Davies. Welcome to Taskmaster. 11 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,800 I'd like to start on a personal note, if I may today, 12 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,240 and tell you that Anna, the member of the crew 13 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,600 who makes my coffees when I arrive at the studio, 14 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,400 recently pointed out to me that in nearly 200 episodes of television, 15 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,560 I have not once said "thank you" to her. 16 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,680 And so, I wanted to start the show by putting that right. 17 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,880 Anna, sincerely, thank you for all your hard work. 18 00:00:58,920 --> 00:00:59,920 But also... 19 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,200 ..your coffee tastes like crap! 20 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,640 Clear your desk! You think I can't replace you?! 21 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:05,560 I've got 1,000 waiting! 22 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,240 Right. 23 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,760 Please welcome our contestants... 24 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,600 ..Ania Magliano... APPLAUSE 25 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,480 ..Maisie Adam... APPLAUSE 26 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,720 ..Phil Ellis... APPLAUSE 27 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,120 ..Reece Shearsmith... APPLAUSE 28 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,840 ..and Sanjeev Bhaskar. APPLAUSE 29 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:28,240 And next to me, a man who tells me he's going on holiday this year to 30 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:32,080 a mysterious place where everybody spits when they talk... 31 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,280 ..Wales. 32 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:35,040 It's... 33 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:36,560 SQUEAKS: ..Little Alex Horne. 34 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,280 APPLAUSE 35 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:39,760 Hello, people of Wales. 36 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,760 I don't know what you've got against the people of Wales. 37 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,760 "Subhuman," you said. Oh, dear. 38 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:47,800 Prize task, then. 39 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,680 Yes, it is. Greg and I suppose it's also... 40 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:51,960 BOO! 41 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,800 Because this week, the category... 42 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:59,080 ..the category is the best thing that has a surprise aspect to it. 43 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,120 Oh, good. Yeah. 44 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,880 I have to say, I was a little alarmed 45 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,560 when I first saw YOUR surprise aspect, Greg. 46 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,360 But I've got used to it, and I don't mind it at all now. 47 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:10,200 The thing with the surprise that Greg likes best will get 5 points, 48 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,960 and the winner of the show gets to take home all five things. 49 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,360 Hello, Reece. What have you brought that might surprise me? 50 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,520 As you know, I am a bit of a David Dickinson in real life. 51 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,560 Well, you've filled your house full of weird things. 52 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,320 That's right. 53 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:26,520 I went to an antique fair and I bought this item. 54 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:27,600 There it is. 55 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,160 The improved patent 56 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,120 magneto-electric machine 57 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:32,600 for nervous diseases. 58 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,120 You crank the handle and you hold the two things 59 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,360 and it's meant to give you a shock. 60 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:43,680 I was assured when I bought it from the man... Didn't work. 61 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:48,000 Right. So I took it home and I said to my daughter, 62 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,720 "Er, Holly, do you want to have a go at it?" 63 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,000 Yeah, let's not take a risk on using yourself. 64 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,680 No. And I turned the handle... HE IMITATES ZAP 65 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,000 ..and it gave her a massive electric shock. 66 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,080 LAUGHTER 67 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,480 Absolutely bizarre. 68 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:01,840 Ania. 69 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:02,920 I've brought in a mix tape, 70 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,640 and the thing that is surprising about it is that someone 71 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,680 gave it to me, and I've never listened to it. 72 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:08,760 A boy? 73 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,240 Yeah. What's he called? 74 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,920 Ray. Ooh. 75 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,120 So I didn't have anything to listen to it on. 76 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,480 I didn't have one of those... Oh, you didn't have a tape machine? 77 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,400 Yeah... I don't know what that is. 78 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,640 The mix tape looks like this. It is a classic cassette. 79 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,160 We can see it there. Yeah. 80 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,520 LAUGHTER 81 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,000 I've never listened to it, but I've... 82 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,120 ..but Alex has listened to it. 83 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,600 You don't know this, Ania, but, yeah, Ray introduced it. 84 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:32,960 So, I can play you Ray's voice. 85 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,480 RAY: This is a...mix tape 86 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,600 I made...for you. 87 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:38,880 There we go. 88 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,400 Is that genuinely his voice? 89 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:41,680 Yeah. 90 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:45,800 REECE: It's, like, older than the electric shock machine. 91 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,360 It sounds like the guy who invented the telephone. 92 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,160 The second bit goes, "Germany calling, Germany calling." 93 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,560 LAUGHTER 94 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,400 Oh, Ania, let's not mess around. 95 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:58,840 You've surprised me. 96 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,800 It's the weirdest thing that we've ever had on the show. 97 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,240 Sanjeev, what surprising thing have you brought in? 98 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,560 Christmas crackers. 99 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,920 Here they are. He's brought in Christmas crackers. 100 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,120 OK. A variety. Hey? Huh? 101 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,440 LAUGHTER 102 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:18,720 Do you know what's in 'em? 103 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,680 Oh, OK. I shouldn't write 1 point down? 104 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,480 It's not going to stop you. 105 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,320 Uh... OK, let's take the white one. 106 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,040 If you open that up, 107 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,200 there's a banana in it! 108 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,920 Weren't expecting that, were you? 109 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,640 I mean, I sort of was. 110 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,760 Were you? Hang on, then. If we take the banana out, 111 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,480 what do we find in the banana? 112 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,480 A little cracker! You weren't expecting that, were you? 113 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,120 I am slightly more surprised by that. 114 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,640 What do you find in the little cracker? 115 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,360 Oh, God. It's not a mix tape, is it? 116 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,360 LAUGHTER 117 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,720 No, it isn't. It's a picture of you! 118 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,880 I was kind of expecting there to be a banana. 119 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,640 I wasn't expecting the small cracker. 120 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,120 There was an element of surprise. Yeah. 121 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,320 Maisie. 122 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,080 I've made a mix tape. 123 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,200 I'm not Ray. I'm not Ray. 124 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,880 No, I've made a... 125 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,480 ..compilation album. 126 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:13,120 I reached out to various people connected 127 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,520 to my fellow contestants 128 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,040 and asked for surprising facts about you all. 129 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,080 ALL: Oh! 130 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,720 And this is the album that she's produced. 131 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,400 It's called Now What's That About You. 132 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:23,440 LAUGHTER 133 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,840 Do you want to hear Phil's one? 134 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,280 This is from your mum. 135 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,000 PHIL'S MUM: When Phil was four, he went through a phase 136 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,920 of only saying the words "hedgehog, no". 137 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,440 Oh, fuck off. 138 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,160 "Hedgehog, no." "Hedgehog, no"? 139 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,400 Well, we all go through that phase, don't we? 140 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:45,160 Reece, I reached out to your comedy partner, Steve Pemberton, 141 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,520 for this one. OK. 142 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,040 This is what Steve said. 143 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:52,000 STEVE: One surprising thing about Reece is that 144 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:56,760 he used to draw pornographic pictures of all our tutors 145 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,800 when we were at college, 146 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,720 and he would take requests. 147 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,800 LAUGHTER 148 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,640 Yeah, that's true. 149 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,800 The requests used to be animals. 150 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,440 Oh, God! 151 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,360 SANJEEV: Hedgehog, no! 152 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,640 LAUGHTER 153 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,880 That is...er...very surprising. 154 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,160 Phil. Last one. 155 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,360 I have brought in 156 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:28,160 a beautiful family heirloom, which is a grandfather clock. 157 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,760 Yes, he has. Here it is. 158 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,120 There it is. Beautiful, isn't it? Lovely. 159 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:35,040 Passed down, ironically, from my auntie. 160 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:36,200 RIP. 161 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,920 I...er... She's not dead, 162 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,080 but it's no life, the way she is at the moment. But... 163 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,520 LAUGHTER 164 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,120 But you open the grandfather clock... 165 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,280 ..there's a little surprise. 166 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,600 Watch this. Yeah. 167 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,680 It's also a fridge. 168 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,880 LAUGHTER 169 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,480 Did you put the fridge in? 170 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,880 Yeah. I've devalued it quite a lot. 171 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,240 Oh, God. Oh, they're all quite good. 172 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:07,040 Mm. The banana within a cracker... 173 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,480 I still think it's the worst. 174 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,240 1 point to Sanjeev. 1 point to Sanjeev, is it? 175 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,000 Hmm. Phil, I'll give it 2 points, cos it doesn't surprise me that much 176 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,080 that you've put a fridge in a grandfather clock. 177 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,400 It doesn't surprise me that you have got 178 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,080 a Victorian device for electrocuting people - 179 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,640 but you get a point more than him 180 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:32,400 because it does surprise me you electrocuted a child. 181 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,400 And then, we're up to the big guns. 182 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,440 4 points to the wonderful research. 183 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,920 And wherever you are, Ray... 184 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,680 ..you've just got her 5 points. 185 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,280 5 points to Ania. APPLAUSE 186 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,680 Right. Let's have the first task, please, Alex. 187 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,400 Right you are. And we begin with some honking, 188 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,080 some whistling, and ten simple questions. 189 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,520 MILITARY MUSIC 190 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,560 FOOTSTEPS MARCHING 191 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,920 Hello? Oh, my gosh. 192 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,000 Mm-hm. 193 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,440 That's a lot of ducks. 194 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,920 I was hoping there'd be ducks at some...point. Very excited. 195 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,720 What fresh hell is this? 196 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,800 I feel judged. 197 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,520 "Go and sit in the entrance lobby 198 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,520 "on Alex's horn..." 199 00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:35,000 "And return on Alex's whistle." 200 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,400 "Every time you return, you must answer 201 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,520 "Alex's question within 30 seconds." 202 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:42,400 "You cannot change your answer." 203 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,600 "Alex will ask you ten questions." 204 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,480 SANJEEV: "Most correct answers wins." 205 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,000 "Your time starts now"? 206 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,360 HORN HONKS Right, OK. 207 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,040 TWO HORNS HONK 208 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,240 Let me just clarify... 209 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,280 HORN HONKS 210 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,160 Oh, wait a minute... Yeah, I've not honked the horn yet. 211 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,560 No. Ah... 212 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,040 You OK? 213 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,360 Yeah... HORN HONKS 214 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,080 APPLAUSE 215 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,000 Well, there's not much more we need to know, is there? 216 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,920 So, let's just crack on. Yes, it's an intriguing one. 217 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,640 And we're going to start with Ania, Maisie and... 218 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:23,880 ..Philip. 219 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,160 Alex, I'm here. Pardon? 220 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,120 Am I just supposed to sit? 221 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,040 WHISTLE BLOWS OK, brilliant. Ready. 222 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,480 WHISTLE BLOWS 223 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,560 Maisie Adam, have a seat. 224 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,800 Hello, Ania. Are you ready for the question? 225 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,200 Yes. 226 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,840 Yes, I am. 227 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,320 Oh, lovely. 228 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,080 That wasn't the question. 229 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,520 Phil? Yes. 230 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:51,560 What's missing? 231 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,120 UNDER HIS BREATH: Fuck. 232 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,280 Your whistle. 233 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,800 This one? This whistle? 234 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,600 Eight seconds. I need an answer. 235 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,680 Duck. OK. Please write that on the board. 236 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,200 Confident with that. 237 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,360 "Yes, one duck," you've written. One blooming duck. 238 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,440 HORN HONKS The thing is...Off you go.Cool. 239 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,360 You need to be quicker with blowing your whistle. 240 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:14,920 I won't be quick. Why? 241 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:16,360 Cos you're moving things. 242 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:17,840 HORN HONKS 243 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:21,960 OK, right. 244 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,960 WHISTLES BLOW OK, good. 245 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,360 Hi! Phil. 246 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,760 Ania Magliano. 247 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,600 Yes. What's missing? 248 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,120 Er... Ch-chicken. 249 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,160 Chicken. 250 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,480 HORN HONKS 251 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:38,640 Duck. HORN HONKS 252 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,920 Maisie, what's missing? 253 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,440 A pumpkin. Why do you say that? 254 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:43,480 Cos it's right. 255 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,560 HORN HONKS WHISPERS: Fucking hell. 256 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,440 I bet there's something missing here now. Bastards. 257 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,400 That wasn't... Was that there? 258 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:51,520 There's new stuff up. 259 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,720 Cows... Was that there before? 260 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,080 That is all stuff that's in that room. 261 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,720 But that... Is that a sock? 262 00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,280 WHISTLE BLOWS What's missing? 263 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,960 Now the ducks are facing another way. Is that a clue? 264 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,440 What's missing? Nothing. 265 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:04,800 You haven't moved a thing. 266 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,880 Ania Magliano, what's missing? 267 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,440 What's missing? What's missing? 268 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:10,480 But wait... 269 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:11,880 ..that apple wasn't there. 270 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,560 Is this the lobby? 271 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,360 Does he really mean, "What's missing"? 272 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,000 I'm going to take everything off here. 273 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,600 Is the question actually, like, "What would you put in this room?" 274 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,520 I've furnished it to my abilities. What's missing? 275 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,560 What's missing? 276 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,160 Nothing, Alex. It's perfect as it is. 277 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:36,440 Ah. 278 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,920 The ducks have gone everywhere. What's missing? 279 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,120 OK, yeah, well, then, all the ducks. 280 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,760 All the d... No, the ducks have... 281 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,280 Oh, you absolute... 282 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:46,920 All of the ducks. 283 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,440 These are appearing outside. 284 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,360 Maybe they're being taken out of this room. 285 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,520 That wasn't there. Yes, but what's missing? 286 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,040 Sock, egg, apple... 287 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,760 Horse. Are you ready for the question, Phil? 288 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,160 All ears. What's new? 289 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,680 What's new? Why would you do that? 290 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,920 I think I've just got the hang of what's going on. 291 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,560 You're just trying to throw me off, and it's not working. 292 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,280 HORN HONKS Fucking hell. 293 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,080 TOILET FLUSHES 294 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,920 Oh, my God, what's going on? 295 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,840 Oh, thank God you're here. 296 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,160 Before you go, 297 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,000 do you know what that is, out of interest? 298 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,040 I don't know what's happening any more. What's missing? 299 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,160 MAISIE: Nothing. 300 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,240 I'm worried these things aren't meant to be in the task, 301 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:32,640 and I'm seeing stuff again. 302 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:33,920 I've rumbled you, Horne. 303 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,440 WHISPERS: I'm in there. 304 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,040 WHISTLE BLOWS 305 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,680 Are you ready for your question, Phil? It's the final one. 306 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,680 What connects all the correct answers? 307 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,280 An iron...a butternut squash... 308 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,040 ..a horse...an egg. 309 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,440 What does connect all of these things? Yes, that's the question. 310 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,600 They're all things... 311 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,640 No, I couldn't get that up my arse. 312 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:54,880 I could try. 313 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,520 They're all nothing. 314 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,000 They're all nothing. 315 00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,760 Nothing. Yeah. 316 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,400 They're all stuff I was left in my nana's will. 317 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,080 They're all outside, on the shelf. 318 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,200 In the waiting lobby? 319 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,800 Thank you, Ania. 320 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,720 I feel like I'm going to pass out. 321 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:13,960 APPLAUSE 322 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,400 GREG: All right, there we go. 323 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,160 APPLAUSE 324 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,160 Phil and Ania, did you work it out, do you think? 325 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,800 It drove me insane. 326 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:24,960 It was horrible, yeah. 327 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,320 It was crazy. It felt like some sort of torture system 328 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,320 from an ancient culture. 329 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,920 Phil, it was the most focused I've seen you throughout this series 330 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,720 up until the point you stated that you couldn't get a big iron 331 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,760 up your bum. 332 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,280 Well, not if it's hot. 333 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,000 I'm willing to give it a go if it's not been near a stove. 334 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,680 Let it chill down, get some butter, Bob's your uncle! 335 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,720 Now, then, what I was amazed by, 336 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,960 because this hasn't been a characteristic of you 337 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000 during this series, is just how smug you were. 338 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,000 You were so pleased with yourself... 339 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,520 Cos I thought I'd cracked it. I thought I'd worked out. 340 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,400 That was my favourite bit, you going... 341 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,240 WHISPERS: .."I'm inside his head." 342 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,200 Have you got her smug face? Oh, maybe. Have a look at this. 343 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,160 LAUGHTER 344 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,800 Yeah, so we left them alone in the lobby, 345 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,520 and Ania and Phil noticed things. 346 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,360 PHIL: Oh, come off it. 347 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,760 And I can tell you that none of that is relevant to the task at all. 348 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,080 LAUGHTER 349 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,880 Good. That is the end of Part One. 350 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,320 And Alex's turn - for the first time ever, 351 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,040 I'm going to let HIM send us into the break. 352 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,600 Oh, thanks, Greg. That's all right. 353 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,920 OK, well, it's the end of Part One and that's why people... 354 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,040 SHUT UP! 355 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,400 See you in a bit. 356 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,120 APPLAUSE 357 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,920 APPLAUSE 358 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,440 Hello. 359 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,800 Welcome back to the final part of this half of the show. 360 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:12,280 What's he on about? Bonkers! 361 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:16,360 Yes, in the current task, they had to keep leaving the living room 362 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,240 and then working out what had changed upon their return. 363 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,360 Now, finally, it's two impatient guys from the '60s. 364 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,080 Sanjeev Bhaskar OBE 365 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,760 and Reece Wayne Shearsmith. 366 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:28,440 WHISTLE BLOWS 367 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,960 Ah, Sanjeev Bhaskar. Have a seat. 368 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,000 Reece Shearsmith. 369 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,040 Yes. Have a seat. Thank you. 370 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,560 I need to ask you your question now. Yeah. 371 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,240 What's missing? 372 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:39,960 DRUMBEATS LIKE HEARTBEAT 373 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,400 Oh, no. 374 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,440 There's something that was in the room that is 375 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:44,560 no longer in the room. 376 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,240 Er, my enthusiasm. 377 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,480 Already? Yeah. Question one. 378 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,440 Yeah? Would you mind writing "enthusiasm..." Yeah, sure. 379 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,840 ..on the board. 380 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,320 I don't know if I can be arsed. 381 00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,880 Great. Just nine more to go. 382 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,000 The answer is, "One of the many ducks." 383 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,480 Right. So you could've just written "duck". 384 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,200 So now...penalised for being really clear. 385 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,160 I mean, you can't win with you. HORN HONKS 386 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,240 WHISTLE BLOWS 387 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:14,720 Ah, Sanjeev Bhaskar. What's missing? 388 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,160 Yellow duck. 389 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,240 Ah. 390 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,240 WHISTLE BLOWS 391 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,000 Hello, Sanjeev. What's missing? 392 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,920 HE SIGHS 393 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,960 I'll go for another yellow duck. 394 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,240 Duck, yeah. 395 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,720 There you go. "Duck." Right. Which duck? 396 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,800 Now you want to do... I knew you were going to say that! 397 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,040 HORN HONKS It's nothing to do with the ducks. 398 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,240 That'll be the thing of it. 399 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,840 WHISTLE BLOWS What's missing? 400 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,600 I'm going to say two yellow ducks. 401 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,280 My next answer's going to be, "Another yellow duck." Oh, you... 402 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:48,640 Do you want me to put that in now? 403 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,600 Do you know what? That'll save a bit of time, won't it? Yeah. 404 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,840 Do you want me to give you the next answer, as well? 405 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,480 Well, it would save SOME time. It's up to you if you want to. 406 00:16:58,520 --> 00:16:59,520 OK. Great. 407 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,080 Well, actually, the question for number six is actually, 408 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,480 "What's new in the room?" Oh, is it? Hmm. 409 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,400 Yeah, what the hell? 410 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,160 Duck, you think? Yeah. 411 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,720 WHISTLE BLOWS Reece Shearsmith, what's missing? 412 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,560 WHISTLE BLOWS TWICE What's missing? What is missing? 413 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,880 The duck's face is... He had a tie on... Some ducks... 414 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,320 There's a cat in here... Teapot. WHISTLE BLOWS 415 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,400 Reece Shearsmith, how are you? Just before I ask you the question. 416 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,320 I think just get on with it. What's missing, is it? 417 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:22,480 What's missing? Yeah? 418 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,480 "Mister." Mr Reece Shearsmith. 419 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:25,720 That's what's missing. 420 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,000 What was the one after that? 421 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,320 Er... What's missing? Yeah, what's missing? 422 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,720 Nothing's changed here. 423 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,520 Definitely... 424 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:37,800 ..not. 425 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,760 TOILET FLUSHES 426 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,120 DOOR SHUTS 427 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:45,960 Well, that's new. 428 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,120 There's just two questions left. 429 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:53,080 Erm, well, question nine is, "What's missing?" 430 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:54,680 What was in the room that isn't in the room now? 431 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,840 Yeah. Yeah. OK. 432 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,600 And then question ten is, "What connects all the correct answers?" 433 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,000 All the... What...what connects...? 434 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,480 All the correct answers? OK. 435 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,080 I do, too. Excellent. 436 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,400 And that's the end of the task. 437 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,760 I didn't get honk my horn as much as usual, but I will honk it now. 438 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,040 HORN HONKS There you go. 439 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,960 I didn't do it very well. By name, by noise. 440 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000 Thank you very much. Thank you, Sanjeev. 441 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,960 We've got...duck, duck faces... 442 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000 ..we've got tie... 443 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,240 ..some ducks, cat, teapot, Mr... 444 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,800 ..and the colour emitted from a duck. 445 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,800 I'll say it's "duck things" - connects all the answers. 446 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,520 That's it. See you, Reece. 447 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:32,960 See you later. 448 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,880 APPLAUSE 449 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,600 I mean, that's one way to do it, Sanjeev. Not to care. 450 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:45,280 But it's true. My enthusiasm, my will to live... 451 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,800 ..my soul, they had all left the room. 452 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,600 Did you have a lovely time, Reece? 453 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,160 It was frustrating. 454 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,720 I thought the big duck walking out of the toilet, I thought, 455 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,720 "Well, this is going to send him over the edge." 456 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,280 That's new. Yeah. "That's new." 457 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,080 No, it was sort of... It was what you would do to break somebody. 458 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,920 Shall we see what was actually missing? 459 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,440 Who, yeah, who got it right? 460 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,480 Well, Sanjeev didn't, of course, 461 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,520 notice the enormous duck at any point. 462 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:10,640 Couldn't give a shit. 463 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,160 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 464 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,640 Well, let's see if that tactic worked. 465 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,080 This is what was going on. 466 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,920 "Go and sit in the entrance lobby on Alex's horn." 467 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:24,960 HORN HONKS 468 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,600 PHIL: "Return on Alex's whistle." 469 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:27,960 HORN HONKS 470 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,680 MAISIE: Alex, I'm here! Pardon?! 471 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,800 Blow your whistle! Will do. 472 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,920 What's missing? REECE: One of the many ducks. 473 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:39,960 DING A pumpkin. 474 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,560 BUZZER ANIA: Eggs. Eggs? Eggs. 475 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,080 BUZZER What's missing? 476 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,960 Teapot. A horse? Nothing. 477 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,360 BUZZER 478 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,320 There has been a slam of the door each time I've come out. 479 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,200 The question for number six is actually, "What's new in the room?" 480 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:53,600 Duck, is it? SANJEEV: Yeah. 481 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,200 DING LAUGHTER 482 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,040 What connects all the correct answers? 483 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,480 TOILET FLUSHES 484 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,800 I'm going to say it's a duck. 485 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,160 Duck things...connects all the answers. 486 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,440 DING Yeah. 487 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,560 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Not bad. Yeah. 488 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,640 You came good in the end, but who would've thought... 489 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,880 ..literally a person who couldn't care less 490 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,760 whether he was here or not has got the system right? 491 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,920 Yeah, well, Maisie, you didn't put duck once. 492 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,880 What a stupid task! 493 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,760 LAUGHTER It is! 494 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,600 Y-You've changed your tune. That is SO stupid! 495 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,080 Show her smug face again. 496 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,600 LAUGHTER 497 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,680 APPLAUSE 498 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,400 Phil, you got one-and-a-half right out of ten. 499 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:43,440 Oh, what's the half? 500 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,280 Well, you put, "All the ducks were missing," at one point, 501 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,560 because you didn't see that all the ducks were still in the room. 502 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,920 Oh, yeah. In fact, just one of the ducks was missing at that point, 503 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,120 so I've given you a half. Oh. 504 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,480 Ania, you got two right, Reece, you got five right, 505 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,240 but the winner, and 5 points to him, 506 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,720 is Sanjeev with six correct answers. There it is! 507 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 508 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,080 Scoreboard, please. 509 00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:06,080 Well, Reece is in second place with 7 points, but in the lead, 510 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,200 with 8 points, it's Ania! ANIA: Oh! 511 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,440 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 512 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,320 Right! Next task, please. 513 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:19,320 OK, and it's time for an art task that made them go above 514 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,640 and beyond...the canvas. 515 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,000 ALL: Ooh! 516 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,400 LAUGHTER 517 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,960 SELF-ASSURED CHUCKLE 518 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,280 Hello. 519 00:21:58,320 --> 00:21:59,880 Hello. 520 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,560 And stop. 521 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,360 You feel safe? Well, I did. 522 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,520 Now I don't, since you've said that. 523 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,840 I'm not going to talk to you until you're safe. 524 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,120 Am I not safe? No. 525 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,920 Safe from what? Peril. 526 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,840 Peril?! 527 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,080 This will hurt a little bit. 528 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,200 OK. Clicked in. You are secure. 529 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,400 Mah! LAUGHTER 530 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,520 I haven't been harnessed in... months. 531 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,840 LAUGHTER This is great. 532 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:30,720 Ooh, God! 533 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,160 It's really quick, how much it hur... 534 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,560 ..pulls you back. 535 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,960 "Paint the best picture of one animal 536 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,720 "sitting on top of another animal. 537 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,080 "You must paint on the paper below. 538 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,840 I didn't spot that. Excellent. 539 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,480 ANIA: "You must not leave the balcony. 540 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,840 "You have 15 minutes, and your time starts now." 541 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,640 OK, let me just have a little look in my...things I've got. 542 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,400 CHUCKLING: Interesting. 543 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,240 So, that's for the more - the finer work. 544 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,520 Oh, well, this is just stupid! 545 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,440 LAUGHTER 546 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:09,680 APPLAUSE 547 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,280 It's a Taskmaster classic, really. 548 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,640 It's paint a picture in difficult circumstances. 549 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,240 So, I think we'll just crack on with it - 550 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:26,280 but before we do, would anyone like to see Ania deliberately run away 551 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,680 from something that she's been tethered to, 552 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,720 and make a noise like a small cat? 553 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,800 AUDIENCE AGREES 554 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:34,840 You're in luck. 555 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,000 Mah! 556 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,440 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 557 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:47,920 OK, here they all are creating their high-concept artwork. 558 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,120 So, what animals are there? 559 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:51,400 Snakes... 560 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:55,760 Pig. 561 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:56,800 An orangutan. 562 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,640 Have you decided on your animal yet? 563 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,320 No, I'm just trying to work out what... 564 00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:02,360 ..how useful these things are. 565 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:03,640 No. No? 566 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,000 Not yet. Oh, right. 567 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,360 I hear you're quite an artist, Reece. 568 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,360 Not on this scale. 569 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:11,480 We need brown. 570 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,720 Brown is...red and blue. 571 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,240 OK. 572 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:16,760 Just going to be a mucky horse. 573 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,800 So, it's an orangutan sitting on a mucky horse. Yeah. 574 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,320 That's a horse. Just screams "horse" to me. 575 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,600 SANJEEV: I'm trying to draw 576 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,400 a top view of a hippopotamus. 577 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,360 ANIA: Hippos have quite big bodies. 578 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,320 REECE PANTS 579 00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:34,560 Oh, my God... 580 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,480 Oh, it's lovely. Thank you. 581 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,480 PHIL: Or maybe it is a dragon. Could be a Komodo dragon? 582 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,200 That's a dressing gown, innit? LAUGHTER 583 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,120 Well, that's quite good. 584 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,440 Why not? 585 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,080 Ah! Oh. 586 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:53,640 That's his eye. 587 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,760 Come on, horsey! HE WEAKLY IMITATES HORSE 588 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,680 MAISIE: Oh, this is so stupid. 589 00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:58,720 Right. 590 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,280 Oh, this is ungainly. 591 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,280 Oh! ALEX CHUCKLES 592 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,720 Shut up, Alex. Sorry. 593 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,680 ANIA: I'm going to have to use the tube. 594 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,840 Alex, could you pour it in the end, really? 595 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,840 Just stop when I tell you. Obviously. 596 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,280 Right, start pouring. 597 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:17,520 There we go. 598 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,400 ANIA: There we go. PHIL: There you go! 599 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:21,880 Stop pouring. 600 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,360 Stop pouring, I said! I've stopped, I have. 601 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,440 LAUGHTER 602 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,480 It's now a panda. 603 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,760 That is striped ginger cat. 604 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,680 Oh, it was good for a bit, this. 605 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:41,600 PHIL GRUMBLES 606 00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:44,120 HE SCOFFS 607 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,800 15 seconds. 608 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:47,840 Shut up! 609 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,200 I'm quite happy with that - do you want me to sign it? 610 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,040 "PE." 611 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:53,080 OK. 612 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,320 It's got an eye! WHISTLE BLOWS 613 00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,800 APPLAUSE 614 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,920 Phil, I've said it before, I'll say it again, 615 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,920 I think you're wasted in this era. 616 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,160 I think you're a '70s slapstick king. 617 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,600 Thanks very much. I mean, how could you get wrapped up in your own...? 618 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,400 I get... Whoa! Oh, shit! ALL GASP 619 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,000 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 620 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,080 Shall we start with Phil's? Oh, I enjoyed this task. 621 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,840 LAUGHTER 622 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,360 It's good! Well, it's an orangutan on either a dog, 623 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,680 a horse, or a fire-breathing dragon. 624 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,880 Yes! It was meant to be fire, 625 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,360 but it looks like it is being... 626 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,440 ..it's just bleeding from its mouth. But... 627 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,240 It's a great orangutan. It's amazing. 628 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:42,720 Yeah, the orangutan's good. 629 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,400 A-And it's a great demonic creature. Pretty good, this, Phil. 630 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:46,800 Oh, thank you. You're welcome. 631 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,160 Let's have a look at Sanjeev's effort. 632 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,360 Here we go. 633 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,320 DISAPPOINTED AWWS 634 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:55,360 So, this is viewed from above. 635 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:59,640 It's a-a ginger cat sitting on the back of a hippopotamus. 636 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,560 DISAPPOINTEDLY: Oh, OK. Yeah. 637 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:07,200 Yeah, it's a big grey thing, all right, and it's a ginger cat. 638 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,120 Yeah. Do you need me to make the noise? 639 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,440 "Mah!" LAUGHTER 640 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,760 Who's next? Let's have a look at Maisie's one. 641 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,320 Oh, wow. 642 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:21,040 Never has anyone fucked up their own snake so quickly. 643 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:22,240 LAUGHTER 644 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,080 Do you like the detail, though? The d-detail in the tail, 645 00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,520 that's pretty good - squi-squiggly piggy tail? 646 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,920 Yeah, squiggly piggy tail. Squiggly piggy tail. 647 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,160 They've got corkscrew penises, as well, did you know? 648 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,600 What? I did. 649 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,560 LAUGHTER 650 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,680 What are you talking about, a corkscrew penis? 651 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,280 They've got a penis that's shaped like a corkscrew. 652 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,240 Like a spiral? No, the other bit. 653 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,440 The arms! LAUGHTER 654 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,080 APPLAUSE 655 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,280 OK, let's leave the gallery for a quick break. 656 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,000 And then, as has happened throughout our friendship, 657 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,280 I'll show Alex some images of one animal on top of another. 658 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 659 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 660 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,080 Hello! Here we are again. 661 00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:16,200 Welcome back to an arty Part Three. 662 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,040 Our contestants have all had a long-distance relationship 663 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,160 with their canvases. 664 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,480 Best picture of an animal sitting on top of another animal wins. 665 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:27,040 And our next gallery singleton comes from resident artist, 666 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,080 Reece Wayne Shearsmith. 667 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,800 It's a crocodile. Yeah. 668 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,480 THEY LAUGH 669 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:37,640 It's a pretty good crocodile. 670 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,480 Oh, it's a great crocodile. ANIA: It's really good. 671 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:43,280 If you imagine it's a quite coquettish panda... 672 00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,240 ..that's looking to the left, like... 673 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,120 LAUGHTER 674 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,400 ..it's a pretty good panda. 675 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,640 That's exactly what I was going for. 676 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,840 Who's next? It's Ania's picture 677 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,960 of this animal sitting on this animal. 678 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,800 LAUGHTER 679 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,360 Oh, wow, that is the worst, isn't it? 680 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:02,920 What do you mean? 681 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,200 Is it a dolphin? 682 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:05,480 Ish. It's a whale. Yeah. 683 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,200 I can see it's aquatic. Yeah. Yeah. 684 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,880 It's in the sea. And is the other animal the yellow thing? 685 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,480 Yes. A chicken leg? 686 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,000 A chicken leg. It is a bird. 687 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,240 It's not a bird, you said it was a monkey. 688 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,680 LAUGHTER 689 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,040 All right, it's a rubbish... 690 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,240 ..it's a rubbish monkey on top of some sort of aquatic creature. 691 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,960 Erm, show me them all, and I'll make some decisions. OK. 692 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,400 I really like all of the paintings. I-I do. I enjoy them. 693 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,640 Hmm. So, I'm not going to give anyone 1 point. 694 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,000 I know you won't like this. Right. 695 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,160 I think that, at the bottom of the pile, with 2 points each, 696 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,120 and I don't think this is unfair, would be Ania and Sanjeev. 697 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,840 I certainly don't think that's a cat, and, my God, 698 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,040 that's no monkey. LAUGHTER 699 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,880 But, sure, there's a hippo, and I can see that's aquatic, 700 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,640 so I'll give them 2 points each. OK, 2 to Ania, 2 to Sanjeev. OK. 701 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,800 I've got it, I'm going to give 4 points each to Maisie and Reece, 702 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,040 because I really like their paintings - 703 00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,840 but it's the detail on the orangutan 704 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,800 that takes the 5 points. PHIL: Thank you. 705 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,640 I see the orangutan, and I feel good. 706 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,160 PHIL LAUGHS It's 5 to Phil Ellis! 707 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,760 Well done, Phil. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 708 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:13,440 Please, may we have one more task? 709 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,800 Yes, of course, and now it's time to put all five of them into 710 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,200 some awkward positions in the dome. 711 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:35,960 OK. 712 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,800 Hi, Alex. Oh, hi, Maisie. 713 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,840 In you go, Ania. In I go. 714 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,120 Can I read that? 715 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,240 "Please read and do the task immediately. 716 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,680 "Your time starts when you walked through the door." 717 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,600 Oh, OK. My time's already started. 718 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:57,960 Need that in bigger writing, 719 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,840 or maybe on the outside of the, er, the dome. Right. 720 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,600 OK, I'll get on that. 721 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:04,960 REECE: Have a little look? 722 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,760 I'll just read this, shall I? OK. 723 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,880 "You must read each of these instructions out 724 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,120 "and do them immediately. 725 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,800 "Stand on one leg, and keep standing on one leg." 726 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:16,840 Doing it now. 727 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,960 That's my bad leg. That's it. 728 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,960 "Put one finger in your..." 729 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,960 I've got no balance, I've got flat feet. 730 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,720 "Put one finger in your ear and keep it there. 731 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:29,280 "Put your other hand on your head, and keep it there. 732 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,560 "Pull an extreme facial expression, 733 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,320 "and keep that expression on your face. 734 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,400 There. 735 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,800 Yeah, lovely. 736 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,440 Wow. 737 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,520 "Your time has started, and will end if you move your hands... 738 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:45,440 "Touch the ground with your foot." 739 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,880 "Please read and do the task immediately. 740 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:56,000 "Your time started when you walked through the door," yeah. 741 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:57,320 What's the task? 742 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,400 All the information's on the task, Reece. What? 743 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,680 Is this just the task? 744 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:05,720 Why is there a chi... 745 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,240 Why is there an apple turnover? 746 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,280 Why's... I don't understand the chicken! 747 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,640 Why did the chicken cross the road? 748 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,320 To get to the other side? 749 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,560 Why did the chicken cro...? Turn over. 750 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,720 Turn, turn the task - oh, you... 751 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:20,760 Ah, ah. 752 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:23,560 Oh, come on. 753 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:24,920 LAUGHTER 754 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,000 It's not touching the ground. No, you're OK. 755 00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:33,600 Oh, you can... 756 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,400 Oh. It's all right it's fine. 757 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,240 Oh, there you go you've done it, you've done it, you've done it. 758 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:38,720 I've done it! Oh, f... 759 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,680 "Say the most five-letter words." 760 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:45,000 "If anyone uses the same five-letter words as you, 761 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:49,440 "five words will be lost from both your totals. 762 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,160 "Most five-letter words wins." 763 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:53,760 I have 20 minutes? 764 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,040 Yeah. 765 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,520 Of this?! 766 00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,040 LAUGHTER 767 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,760 APPLAUSE 768 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,120 I think Reece has spoken for everyone there. 769 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,600 I mean, it's a fun task, you know? A lot of fun, yeah. 770 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,840 "20 minutes? Of this?!" LAUGHTER 771 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,000 It does seem like cruel torture. 772 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:17,840 You're just resting on that thing. 773 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,600 Mm, as always, all the information's on the task on that thing. 774 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,560 Fuck off. MAISIE: Oh! 775 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,720 LAUGHTER 776 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:26,920 Let's have a look. 777 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,200 Let's have a look. OK, well, here is a clip about APR. 778 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,080 No, not your annual percentage rate - 779 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,160 it's Ania, Phil, and Reece Wayne Shearsmith. 780 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,560 "Say the most five-letter words." 781 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,240 Erm... 782 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,560 Am I allowed to rest the leg on anything? 783 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,040 I've tried to put all the information on the task. 784 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,200 LAUGHTER 785 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,400 Ah. That's opened up a whole new world to me. 786 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,480 Lovely. There we go. Animals. 787 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,120 Oh, no, but someone else has probably said that. Pasty. 788 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,240 Oh! 789 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,240 I'm just confused about why that's there. 790 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,360 You've got 16 minutes left. 791 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,520 Wait, what? 792 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:15,880 Oh, no. 793 00:34:19,240 --> 00:34:21,920 BUZZER Oh! I know, I know. 794 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,520 No, that's the end of the task. What?! It doesn't... 795 00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:25,680 Does it say that? 796 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,720 Oh, shit! AUDIENCE AWWS 797 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:30,760 Oh, Ania. 798 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,240 Oh. 799 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,800 How long do I have to do it for? You've got a maximum of 20 minutes. 800 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,880 20 minutes? Yeah. How many minutes left? 801 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,120 12-and-a-half. 12-and-a-half?! 802 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,440 You've got 12 minutes left. 12 minutes?! 803 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,280 Jesus Christ. 804 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:48,600 Oh, the dancing's out. 805 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,560 Oh, beast! Let's have that one. Right. 806 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,440 No-one's going to say that, are they? 807 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:57,400 I'll have plane. 808 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,120 And I'll have the other plain as well, please. 809 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,160 The I-N. Right, both planes, got it. 810 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,920 I'm not a quitter. I don't know if you know much about me, 811 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:09,640 Alex, but I don't quit. 812 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:13,040 You do look in a lot of pain, though. I'm in so much pain! 813 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,280 I didn't realise I'd sweat quite so much. 814 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:16,680 Er...I'm really sweaty. 815 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,800 Just two-and-a-half minutes left. 816 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:21,920 REECE CHUCKLES GRIMLY 817 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:33,320 Yeah, ten seconds. Let's end on a nice one. 818 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:34,800 Do you know what? 819 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,120 We could all do with one of them, couldn't we? 820 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:40,160 WHISTLE BLOWS 821 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:43,920 LAUGHTER 822 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,240 That was really... 823 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 824 00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,600 I thought it was fair that you kicked out, 825 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,360 because I was not happy with your silly-face maintenance. 826 00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:58,720 Oh. What? Really? 827 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,560 Yeah, this was your silly face. 828 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:02,120 LAUGHTER 829 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:05,200 They're laughing at that. That's pretty silly, then. 830 00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:07,520 Good, a lot of pain. Yeah. Lot of sweat. 831 00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:09,800 20 minutes, one leg! No fucking leaning. 832 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:13,640 You took advantage of the pain with your choice of words, didn't you? 833 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,480 "Pain, tired, hurt, cruel." Cruel! 834 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:19,120 LAUGHTER "Cruel!" 835 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:20,880 Oh, wow, what a start. OK. 836 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,480 It's time for some adverts now, 837 00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:25,560 but fortunately, their insipid blandness will only make 838 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,920 the next part taste even sweeter! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 839 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 840 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,640 Hello! 841 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,560 Hello, and welcome to the final part of the show. 842 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,000 How are you feeling about it all, Alex? You know, 843 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,920 confident, relaxed, little bit randy, the holy trinity. 844 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,120 LAUGHTER The current task involves finding 845 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:53,000 the other part of the task, and then, saying as many unique 846 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,600 five-letter words as possible. 847 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:58,560 But meanwhile, if a foot touches the floor, it's game over. 848 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,120 With all of that in mind - and especially relevant - 849 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,640 here is Maisie and Sanjeev. 850 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,960 "You must read each of these instructions out 851 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,320 "and do them immediately. 852 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:12,360 "Stand on one leg, and keep standing on one leg. 853 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,440 BUZZER Oh, need to...switch legs. OK. 854 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,280 BUZZER Oh, bollocks. Right. 855 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,680 I-I can't help noticing your foot keeps touching the ground. 856 00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:24,440 MULTIPLE BUZZES OK. Yeah. 857 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,720 I really needed to go to the loo, actually. 858 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,360 LAUGHTER 859 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,800 Is this it? The time's started? 860 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:32,840 What...? 861 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,200 What? God sa... what have I got to do, though?! 862 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:43,640 That's just a joke. 863 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:45,920 Why did the chicken cross the road? 864 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,240 Is it about that? Oh, maybe. 865 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,040 But why is there an apple pie? 866 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,480 What's that for? An apple pie, is it? 867 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,360 LAUGHTER 868 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:58,920 Yeah, it's apple pie. 869 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,080 Oh! 870 00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:03,800 Is it an apple turnover? 871 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:05,680 "Why did the chicken cross the road?" 872 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:07,560 To get to the apple turnover. 873 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:11,800 "Why did the chicken cross the bastard road?" 874 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:12,960 Oh! 875 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,080 Now, how in the... how the hell? 876 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,360 I don't think I have to do anything. 877 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,320 You... 878 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,680 You would've said! 879 00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:26,280 Wouldn't you? 880 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:27,520 Stop the clock! 881 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:32,760 You want me to stop the clock. Yeah! I'm done! I'm done. 882 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,640 OK. Bye. Bye-bye. 883 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:36,200 LAUGHTER 884 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:44,680 I was so excited to do this show. 885 00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:47,280 LAUGHTER I didn't understand the task. 886 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,440 No. And I got frustrated. 887 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,320 Yes. And I left. True. 888 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,160 All of that was evident. 889 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,800 LAUGHTER AUDIENCE AWWS 890 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,680 I've got some interesting statistics for you. 891 00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:59,760 Reece, you said 117 words. 892 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,040 41 of them were said by other people, mostly Phil. 893 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,640 Which means your final number is -88. 894 00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:07,240 ANIA: Oh, my God! Right, oh. 895 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:10,080 Cos each of those 41 loses you five words. Yeah, yeah. 896 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:12,040 So, Reece, you come last. Great minds. 897 00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:14,600 That's shocking, "cruel!" 898 00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:18,040 Maisie, you get -81. You get 2 points. 899 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,440 Phil, -74 in the end. 900 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,760 Ania, -49. 901 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,200 The winner of the task, with -32... 902 00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:27,280 ..is Sanjeev Bhaskar! 903 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 904 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:37,640 The key to the task, it turns out, was to not say a lot. 905 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,040 If you'd not said a word, you would've won. 906 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:41,440 You fucking mean to tell me... 907 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,600 LAUGHTER 908 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:49,040 ..that I stood sweating on one leg for 20 minutes... 909 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,400 ..and I've lost? 910 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,040 Learn from Sanjeev - care less. Mm. 911 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,680 Let's have a look at the scores. 912 00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:01,160 Yes, Sanjeev, you're in second place on 13, 913 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:04,480 one point away from Ania, who's got 14 points! 914 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Incredible.Yeah. 915 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,200 It's that time again. Please, will you make your way to the stage 916 00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:15,160 for the final task of the show?! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 917 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,440 Who will read the task, young fellow, m'lad? 918 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,200 I think Ania's going to read it. 919 00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:29,040 OK. 920 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:33,240 "Demonstrate to the Taskmaster the idiom demonstrated to you 921 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:34,680 "by your team-mate. 922 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:37,960 "All team members must remain silent and on their spots 923 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,200 "during a round. 924 00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:41,160 "Best team wins." 925 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:44,320 PHIL: What is an idiom? LAUGHTER 926 00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:45,360 Am I an idiom? 927 00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:48,000 They're just phrases. 928 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,960 An idiom is something like "jump on the band wagon". 929 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,920 And first up, it's going to be the team of two. 930 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,960 I've got a list of phrases. I'm going to show you one, Maisie. 931 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,800 You're going to demonstrate the idiom to your team-mate, 932 00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:59,120 Reece Shearsmith. 933 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,440 He will then, at the same time, do it to Greg - 934 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,160 essentially charades with an extra link. OK. 935 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,640 Greg, ready to guess? Oh, my God. OK, Reece. 936 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,480 I've never been readier. Here we go. 937 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:11,920 Go. 938 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:20,280 "Rocking man." 939 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:24,760 You can just copy her, if you want. 940 00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,160 What do you think it is, Greg? LAUGHTER 941 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:33,200 WHISTLE BLOWS 942 00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:36,040 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 943 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,360 What do you think it was in the end, Reece? 944 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,120 Cos you were the only one who saw it. 945 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,160 Something like a t... a taste injection? Yes. 946 00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,160 A taste...? A taste injection. She was doing this! 947 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,920 It's a phrase, so think about phrases! Yeah! 948 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,360 They've turned on each other. 949 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:54,400 A-A taste... A taste of... 950 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:55,840 Of your own injection. 951 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,720 A taste of your own medicine? Oh, yeah. 952 00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,000 They scored zero, so can we have two of the team of the three, please? 953 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,520 If you can go and sit down and swap chairs. 954 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,120 PHIL: Shall we go first? ANIA: OK. 955 00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,840 OK, so you've gotta beat zero. Are you ready, Greg? Ready. 956 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:08,160 You time will start when you see the first one. 957 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,480 SHE HISSES LOUDLY Oh. 958 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:14,840 LAUGHTER 959 00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:19,960 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 960 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,920 Chat dog. Chat cat. Cat chat. 961 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:26,400 Chat. Talk... 962 00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:28,640 Talk. Chat... Chat or talk. 963 00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:31,760 GREG STAMMERS 964 00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,160 Er, deer. Ram. The devil! 965 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:37,000 WHISTLE BLOWS Oh, so close! Oh! 966 00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,680 You were so close to it. What was it? 967 00:42:39,720 --> 00:42:42,000 I think Greg is the weak link in this. 968 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,720 Get fucked, am I?! 969 00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,080 It was of, course, "Speak of the devil." 970 00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:48,240 Speak of the devil! 971 00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,120 The good news is, it's still nil-nil. 972 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,320 You can go back to your seats. APPLAUSE 973 00:42:57,240 --> 00:42:58,880 Er... 974 00:42:58,920 --> 00:42:59,920 Over. 975 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,680 Go. Go. 976 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,160 Go on. 977 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:07,720 Go on a... 978 00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,960 ..wild.... 979 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:14,240 ..ride? 980 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,200 Go on a wild...goose chase. 981 00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:21,240 Correct! They've got one, they've got one. 982 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:22,640 The team of two have got one. 983 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 984 00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,000 MAISIE: Oh! 985 00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:29,160 We have the actor Sanjeev Bhaskar with me. 986 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:30,920 Nice and quiet, everyone, please. 987 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,480 First word. 988 00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,240 "A." Oh. 989 00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:41,960 Moon? Hole, leg. 990 00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:44,800 Knee. 991 00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:46,480 Thigh. 992 00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:47,920 Limb. 993 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,960 Oh, shirt. 994 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,600 Blue. Ten seconds. Moon. 995 00:43:53,720 --> 00:43:55,600 No blue moon. Mm, mm! 996 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:59,920 Five seconds. No balloon. No blue moon, a... 997 00:43:59,960 --> 00:44:02,040 ..one, first word. WHISTLE BLOWS 998 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,000 What is it? "Once in a blue moon." "Once in a blue moon." 999 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:06,800 Once in a blue moon. It was "once in a blue moon". 1000 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,760 It's 1-0, with one round to go. Well done. 1001 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,720 ANIA: That was great, Sanjeev. 1002 00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:12,440 This is the last round. 1-0. 1003 00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,440 So, you need to build a lead here. Good luck, Greg, good luck, Reece. 1004 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,320 REECE: Thank you. Good luck, Maisie. 1005 00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:21,840 Cold. 1006 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,440 Cold foot. Cold shoe. 1007 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,920 Cold foot. Cold foot? 1008 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,480 LAUGHTER 1009 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,280 Cold feet. Don't like cold feet. Cold feet! Cold feet! 1010 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,000 Cold feet. Cold feet. OK, OK, erm... 1011 00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,400 APPLAUSE 1012 00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:37,560 Bite. 1013 00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:39,240 But the...bite, bite the bullet. 1014 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,800 DING Yes! Correct! 1015 00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,240 Er, something hand. Tick, listen. 1016 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,400 Tick, what's the time? 1017 00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:48,360 Time to fly? 1018 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,600 LAUGHTER 1019 00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,600 It's party time? Oh! WHISTLE BLOWS 1020 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,080 FUCKING HELL, GREG! 1021 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:56,360 LAUGHTER 1022 00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,480 "Time flies when you're having fun." 1023 00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,440 APPLAUSE 1024 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:03,280 So far, 3-0 with one go to go. 1025 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,160 Ready, Greg? Yeah, I mean, yeah. 1026 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,720 Ready, Sanjeev? Ready, Phil. 1027 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,440 Bite. 1028 00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,720 LAUGHTER 1029 00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,400 OK. First word, "Bye." 1030 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,040 Bye... 1031 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,280 ..the... 1032 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,600 "Don't bite the hand that feeds you," surely. 1033 00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,520 By the is... ANIA: Oh. 1034 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:30,120 Fly the spider. 1035 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:32,680 LAUGHTER 1036 00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:35,240 By the s...Oh! WHISTLE BLOWS 1037 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:36,480 What was it, Phil? 1038 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,360 It was, er, it's dead easy. 1039 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:42,440 "By the skin...of your teeth." 1040 00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:45,000 Yeah, I probably would've got that if it wasn't for this. 1041 00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:46,760 LAUGHTER 1042 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:51,800 Add that to the final scores. Come down and join me! 1043 00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:55,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1044 00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:03,000 Come on, then. OK, well, scores-wise... Yeah. 1045 00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,720 Well, it's up to you. The team of two got three right, 1046 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:07,280 the team of three got zero right. 1047 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,680 So, how, how do the points work? Right, so 5 points to the team 1048 00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:12,600 that got some right, and no points to the ones who didn't get any. 1049 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,000 Well done, Maisie and Reece - 5 points each! Yay! 1050 00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1051 00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:22,040 So, it's turned upside down - the two people at the bottom 1052 00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:23,080 are now at the top. 1053 00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:25,520 Maisie's in second place, with 16 points, but the winner 1054 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,080 is Reece with 17 points! 1055 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1056 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,280 Reece Shearsmith has won! 1057 00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:36,160 Please head up to secure your things with a surprise aspect to them! 1058 00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:39,320 CHEERING CONTINUES 1059 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:42,000 So, what have we learnt from today's show? 1060 00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,600 We've learnt this - if you want to win in life, 1061 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:46,720 be more Sanjeev. 1062 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,480 Care less, win more. 1063 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:52,080 We've also learnt... don't tie your cat to a fence. 1064 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,360 ANIA: Mah! 1065 00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:55,080 LAUGHTER 1066 00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,320 And let's not forget this episode's winner, 1067 00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,880 Reece Shearsmith! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1068 00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,240 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 71633

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